GoodTherapy | 8 Ways Parents Can Help Teens with Academic OverwhelmWould you work a highly demanding, fast-paced job Monday through Friday from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m., take a small break, then work another job that requires intense focus both mentally and physically from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.? Let’s say the pay sucked. Advancement was dependent on performance, and your coworkers were sometimes enemies. In addition, you had only 20 minutes to eat lunch in a loud, chaotic environment.

Sound appealing? I didn’t think so. But yet we ask our children to do it. Welcome to high school 2015.

Today’s kids are being asked—required, more like—to work in this kind of system. The amount of academic work in a given day, added onto extracurricular activities and homework, has reached an all-time back-breaking load.

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There is a general understanding with kids and parents today: The academic world has changed. When many parents today were in high school, they had homework, yes; but they also had part-time jobs, friends, went to social events, and basically had a life. An academically advanced high school student now has no time for going to the mall with friends, no time for a part-time job (unless he or she gives up a sport or other pursuit), and no time for rest and reflection. Add in social media with its false sense of connection and, simply put, teens are struggling with stress, anxiety, and depression at much higher rates than was experienced 30 years ago. The intended effect of helping our children compete globally by increasing curricula has indeed come at a cost.

Homework, hard work, and perseverance are all good things. Teens should learn to handle tough stuff. But should they learn it while being prescribed antianxiety medication to quell rising fear about not getting into the “right” college? Should they learn it while being prescribed antidepressants because they can’t imagine a happy future given their overwhelmed present?

We as parents and academia are missing the point: We cannot continue to ask teens to handle all of this without giving them the tools to handle it.

Here are eight ways to help your teen:

  1. Ask about school pressures and then listen with the intention of understanding, not responding and judging. Ask your teen, “What’s it like to be you?”
  2. Identify what is causing the most stress in your teen’s life. Is it a specific class, a certain friend, pressure from you? Your teen will answer honestly only if you are listening without judgment.
  3. Check yourself. How are you handling stress in your life? If the answer is not very well, then this is a great time to learn better stress management for you and your teen. He or she is watching you.
  4. Teach your teen time management and being focused without distraction.
  5. Teach relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, stretching, walking, playing with the dog, drawing, or meditation.
  6. Communicate with a teacher, the school, or the coach (make sure your teen knows you are doing this) to gain further insight into what’s happening. Sometimes this small act can make a huge impact.
  7. Reduce pressure by discussing your expectations of your teen. Most teens think their parents want them to go to Harvard, but most parents just want their kids to be happy. Talk about it. Are you part of the problem?
  8. Spend time with your teen doing fun things!

The goal of parenting and educating is to raise responsible and resilient kids. In today’s academic environment, mixed with social changes and pressure, childhood is becoming a stressful phase of life. It is our obligation to empower and teach our children both academically and emotionally how to navigate the challenges.

Reference:

Increased levels of anxiety and depression as teenage experience changes over time. (2012, March 14). Nuffield Foundation. Retrieved from http://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/news/increased-levels-anxiety-and-depression-teenage-experience-changes-over-time

Landing on moonPop quiz: What do the moon landings, the JFK assassination, and the 9/11 terrorist attacks have in common?

Give up?

While each event touched the lives of millions of people and left indelible marks on American history, there is a third similarity: these events were all staged … or so some people who believe in conspiracy theories may argue.

Conspiracy theories posit that people, groups, organizations, or governments deliberately withhold or cover up the truth surrounding events and situations. While conspiracy theories typically lack the concrete evidence of more conventional explanations, they nevertheless exist and are upheld within a percentage of the population. Perhaps you’re not losing sleep over an alleged alien spacecraft hidden somewhere near Roswell, New Mexico or deadly diseases supposedly manufactured as a means of population control, but some people are convinced that those in authority are working together to conceal the truth surrounding certain events.

For some, there might be comfort in thinking they know something most people don’t, but that doesn’t mean the fringe is a comfortable place to be. For people who believe in explanations that differ from the mainstream or the historical record, their mental health may be called into question.

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Mistrust Isn’t Always Misplaced

There is a rich history of conspiracy theories in the United States, partly because its democratic society allows for free speech, partly because of its robust and shadowy intelligence community, and partly because, well, conspiracies in America have been uncovered before.

During the Cold War, for example, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) conducted illegal scientific research to see if it could control people’s minds. The CIA used LSD, hypnosis, and biological agents on people, often without their knowledge, to study how it affected their behavior. The program was conducted over two decades, enlisted the help of top researchers at more than 30 universities, and cost American taxpayers more than $20 million.

While to many people that may sound like a far-fetched idea cooked up on a conspiracy theory website, the program was called Project MK-ULTRA and was uncovered by an investigation headed by Senator Frank Church and Vice President Nelson Rockefeller in 1975.

People who are believers in conspiracy theories are correct in their assertion that things are not always as they seem.

Conspiracies and Public Perception

Conspiracy theories are often assumed to be the paranoid delusions of a troubled minority. However, a national survey published in April 2013 by Public Policy Polling shows that as many as 21% of Americans believe that an alien spaceship crashed in Roswell, and that the government covered it up.

Some other results from the poll include:

Although it can be assumed that some people who believe in conspiracy theories have mental health conditions that factor into their perceptions of reality, many people who can think rationally and whose mental health has never been compromised hold tight to conspiracy theories.

Why is that?

Cass Sunstein, a law professor at Harvard, former administrator of the White House Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs, and author of Conspiracy Theories and Other Dangerous Ideas, said in an interview with U.S. News & World Report: “Under conditions of fear or anger, as for example following a bad event, people want to find a cause, and they also want to resolve their own uncertainty. So if you’ve seen an assassination, or a terrible economic downturn or a missing plane, there may be an inclination to posit an agent who’s behind it.”

Many conspiracy theories are created simply to explain things that may seem unexplainable. Some researchers believe they fulfill important social functions or psychological needs. They may give believers higher self-esteem by making them feel superior to others who think differently; they offer people perceived power over events in which they have no influence; and they can help believers make sense of trauma, tragedy, and catastrophe.
Conspiracy theories tend to stick in society and popular culture because they are much harder to disprove than they are to introduce, especially in cases where the facts are redacted or withheld from the public.
Conspiracy theories tend to stick in society and popular culture because they are much harder to disprove than they are to introduce, especially in cases where the facts are redacted or withheld from the public. Also, it’s easier than ever to find people who share your views; conspiracy theories tend to spread easily on the Internet among like-minded populations that readily accept them. They can perpetuate good, bad, or indifference, depending on who receives them.

Building the Belief: Is It All a Conspiracy?

While many people tend to keep an open mind about major world events, someone who is labeled a “conspiracy theorist” may construct and maintain a worldview that is defined by conspiracies. He or she may display what psychologists refer to as a “monological belief system” wherein unexplained events are perceived as being part of a master plan. Alternative explanations are typically rejected outright. For some, conspiracies are seen everywhere, in anything and everything. In fact, one of the greatest predictors of whether someone will believe a conspiracy theory is if he or she already believes other conspiracy theories.

A study by Wood et al. (2011) illustrates that some who believe in conspiracy theories can even reconcile contradicting theories if there is coherence with a strongly held worldview. For example, the study showed that the more people believed Osama bin Laden was already dead when he was found by U.S. troops, the more they believed he is still alive. While the theories clearly contradict each other, both are consistent with the basic worldview that officialdom is fundamentally deceptive.

Studies have found that conspiracy theories are difficult to shed. If evidence to the contrary is presented, people who believe in conspiracy theories typically reason that the evidence was planted or invented to placate skeptics.

Skepticism is often warranted—in fact, it’s the foundation of the media’s role as a government watchdog. But when distrust of that media runs rampant, skepticism is compounded. When the facts are in doubt, people may be inclined to develop beliefs that fit self-serving narratives.

Calling someone a conspiracy theorist can serve as a social mechanism to discredit or exclude that person’s viewpoint. It is sometimes easier to call a person a conspiracy theorist than it is to address his or her questions and concerns, which may further isolate someone who believes in a conspiracy theory.

The Bottom Line

Although people who believe in conspiracy theories may be dismissed or derided by some people as “crazy,” the prevalence of conspiracy theories in American culture and the rest of the world suggests that most people who believe in conspiracy theories are not experiencing some kind of psychopathology. For its part, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders draws no direct link between belief in conspiracy theories and mental health issues. However, some people who believe intensely or even casually in conspiracy theories may also be experiencing mental health issues such as paranoia, schizophrenia, narcissism, delusions, anxiety, or trust issues that affect their everyday lives. Some of these issues have been found to be more prevalent among people who believe in conspiracy theories.

Most people who believe in conspiracy theories are harmless participants in a widespread social phenomenon, but how they act (or don’t act) on their beliefs can have far-reaching social consequences. For example, research shows that some populations who believe in conspiracy theories are less likely to use condoms, seek HIV treatment, take action against climate change, and vaccinate their children.

If mental health conditions are present that make it difficult to distinguish reality from fears and unsettling thoughts, therapy—perhaps in combination with medication—may help. If you or someone you know is experiencing troublesome thoughts beyond what you believe to be healthy, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be a great place to start. Therapy can help a person identify factors that may have contributed to his or her worldview, for better or for worse, as well as what type of treatment and support may be best for addressing any related conditions.

Labeling any person as “crazy”—regardless of his or her thoughts or beliefs—can result in negative effects. For example, calling someone crazy may cause emotional or psychological pain, contribute to the marginalization or dehumanization of certain individuals or groups, or exacerbate stigma surrounding mental health conditions.

References:

  1. Douglas, K. M., Sutton, R. M., and Wood, M. J. (2011). Dead and alive: Beliefs in contradictory conspiracy theories. Social Psychology and Personality Science, 3(6), 767-773.
  2. Morella, M. (2014, April 21). The Normal Life of Crazy Conspiracy Theories. S. News & World Report. Retrieved from http://www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2014/04/21/cass-sunstein-explains-why-people-believe-conspiracy-theories
  3. Project MKULTRA, The CIA’s Program of Research in Behavioral Modification. 95th 1 (1977).
  4. Rawlings, N. (2010, August). Top 10 Weird Government Secrets. Retrieved from http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2008962_2008964_2008992,00.html.
  5. Swami, V., & Coles, R. (2010). The truth is out there. The Psychologist, 23(7), 560-563.

Couple on benchIt’s the big question women and men who experience infertility or secondary infertility (infertility after the loss of a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth) ask: “I can’t have kids, so now what?”

Common questions and fears people have when they learn they can’t have kids include:

I always expected to have children and all my life plans included them. What do I do now?

Who am I if I don’t get to be a parent?

Who am I if I don’t get to raise a living child?

How do I live a fulfilled, happy life when the one I had planned was taken away from me?

Learning you can’t have kids, either for medical reasons or because you just aren’t willing to risk the death of another baby, can create a crisis of identity in even the most balanced and self-assured people.

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So when your plans for life drop out from under your feet and you lose your sense of self, what do you do?

Allow Yourself to Grieve

First and foremost, you need to grieve. Allow yourself to grieve for all the various aspects of this loss. Grieve for:

When children are strongly desired and you learn you can’t have them, it is a deep and profound loss. It requires the process of grieving every bit as much as the death of a loved one does.

Remind Yourself Healing Is a Process, Not an Event

The loss of the dream to have children is big. It leaves an emptiness that feels enormous and endless. Pretending that feeling of emptiness isn’t there would be counterproductive. Lying to oneself never helps matters. Trying to fill that massive expanse in your life left by the children you will never know can feel daunting and overwhelming.

When children are strongly desired and you learn you can’t have them, it is a deep and profound loss. It requires the process of grieving every bit as much as the death of a loved one does.

Be gentle with yourself and don’t pressure yourself to fill that gap immediately. As counterintuitive as it seems, befriend that empty space in your heart. Feel into the spaciousness and find the edges of it. Explore what that loss and emptiness feels like in your body.

This empty feeling is not your enemy. It’s a natural response to this deep and profound loss. This emptiness is a necessary part of healing.

Healing from this loss and creating a life that feels fulfilling and happy won’t happen overnight. It may take years of work and intention. It will be a process of grieving and redefining your life and creating a new identity, but it can and will slowly start to lighten over time.

Find Comfort in the Little Things

True healing is an intentional process. You have to choose to want to heal and take steps toward that. Seek comfort and healing in the little things in life.

Consider starting a gratitude jar and writing down one thing each day that you are grateful for. These don’t have to be big or insightful things; they can be as simple as being grateful for your coffee in the morning or the sunshine on your face.

Allow yourself to notice and appreciate the things about your life that perhaps you wouldn’t be able to enjoy if you had been able to have children. This doesn’t dismiss your longing or love for your children who died or never were. As humans, we are powerful beings, and we have space to both miss what could have been and be appreciative for what is.

Buy yourself flowers.

Sip and enjoy a good cup of coffee or hot cocoa.

Go for a walk in the woods.

Watch your favorite movie or read your favorite book.

Engage in activities that bring even a small amount of light and beauty into your life.

Give Yourself the Gift of Support

If you are fortunate enough to have family or friends who “get” this kind of loss and can be supportive, lean on them. Allow them to be there for you and to love you.

Seek out support groups, women’s groups, or men’s groups to surround yourself with others who can support and encourage you on your journey.

Find a counselor or mentor who will help you walk this rocky, painful path of recreating your sense of self and expectation for life.

Sometimes, finding the right support takes work. You deserve, however, to be supported and loved as you grieve.

Making Meaning Out of Your Life

It’s not about finding a reason why this may have happened. The cliché “there’s a reason for everything” isn’t really all that helpful to many people.

However, choosing to make meaning out of the events of our lives is empowering and healing. Decide what you want to make this loss mean in your life. Decide how you want to use it to create a new life going forward.

Life isn’t what you expected it to be. You may not get to be the person you wanted and planned to be. Choose to make this unexpected and unplanned life meaningful and fulfilling anyway.

You can’t bear children. That is painful and heartbreaking, but it is still possible to live a meaningful, fulfilling, and happy life.

canoeing couple

Recent statistics show that the average couple experiencing difficulty waits six years to seek therapy, which may be too late for some couples, as 40 to 50% of marriages across the United States end in divorce. Some couples opt for marriage retreats in which a couple engages in intensive therapy over several days with the aim of reaching resolution and repair. Although they are often viewed as a “last chance” to save a marriage, marriage retreats are also attended by couples who are not facing conflict but simply wish to deepen the intimacy in their relationship.

On a retreat, couples can get away from their daily routines while attending therapy sessions that focus on their combined strengths and difficulties. The concept of the marriage retreat is depicted in a number of feature films that conflicted couples taking a break from their lives, either on a therapist-prescribed retreat or a more typical getaway, in an attempt to save their marriages. Unfortunately, media depictions of many of life’s challenges are often oversimplified, and marriage retreats and couples therapy are no exception.

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How Does Hollywood Get It Wrong?

In film, marriage retreats are typically presented as lighthearted fun, potentially misleading viewers about the true nature of a marriage retreat. In an article for ABC News, Debra Margrave, who runs Sedona Soul Adventures with her husband, says that the goal of their marriage retreat is bringing people together, and that the “crazy stuff” in Hollywood movies is more comedic than factual. Cinematic portrayals of both the couples and the retreat itself are often idealized, made humorous, and belie the amount of real work necessary in couples therapy. Though infidelity and intimacy issues affect the fictional characters, and they seem able to reach forgiveness or move past the problems, the underlying causes are rarely addressed, meaning any progress made is likely only a temporary reprieve.

In reality, marital issues can often lead to mental health concerns, such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Although the 2012 romantic comedy Hope Springs shows a couple with intimacy issues who, through therapy, is able to repair their relationship after several failed efforts, most films, such as For Richer or Poorer (1997) and Why Did I Get Married (2007), emphasize the outrageousness or comedic value of a couple’s difficulties instead of focusing on the more realistic aspects of marital conflict that a couple in counseling is likely to face.

Media depictions of many of life’s challenges are often oversimplified, and marriage retreats and couples therapy are no exception.

Communication issues affect many couples, and one of the goals of a retreat may be the exploration of better ways for a couple to reach one another. Because a marriage retreat places partners in a situation where they can focus solely on improving their relationship, couples may more easily work on developing better communication skills. In films, though, the couples featured often achieve insight by speaking to outsiders, or they spend time talking to friends about their partnerships and engaging in activities where the focus is not on building communication with partners.

When building and enhancing communication skills does not occur, any progress that a couple makes in their relationship is likely to be superficial rather than a lasting improvement. Take the films Why Did I Get Married and its sequel, Why Did I Get Married Too? (2010), for example. Both films feature four couples attempting to work on their marital issues during a self-designed week-long retreat. They spend much of their time arguing, but at the end of each film, three out of four couples have resolved their issues and made up. The reparation of these marriages, shown to be troubled from the beginning of each film, seems to have occurred more from spontaneous revelations and apologies rather than actual communication and resolution. Couples who admit wrongs and apologize can resolve some difficulties by doing so, but those who experience the same types of conflict repeatedly may benefit from some sort of marital counseling.

Trustworthy Therapy Tactics Important

Richard Simon, editor of The Psychotherapy Networker, says in a New York Times article that couples therapy is widely acknowledged as one of the most difficult types of therapy. Therapy on a retreat may be even more difficult, as therapists generally do not have a prior relationship with the couples. Instead, therapists must discover areas of conflict and assist the couples through individual or group therapy, or both, to rebuild a strong relationship in only a short period of time. Therefore, a good therapist may be the most important component of a successful marriage retreat, but therapists depicted on screen are often not shown as realistic or entirely ethical.

The lead therapist in Couples Retreat is not completely honest about the true purpose of the resort the four couples in the movie visit, for example, and he forces three of the couples to attend therapy when they did not originally wish to. The 2014 film The One I Love also features an unethical therapist who traps couples repeatedly in a bizarre situation in an attempt to force them to work out their issues. Although this movie has a science fiction element and would likely not be considered to be realistic by many viewers, the portrayal of an unethical therapist might still lead some to be reluctant to seek marriage counseling or venture on a marriage retreat.

Marriage Retreats Not Necessarily Glamorous, Expensive

Marriage retreats may be appealing in part because they offer a change of scenery, bringing a new perspective with a new environment, but couples who cannot afford a trip to a mountain cabin, the Sedona desert, or a tropical island—the setting for Couples Retreat—might just as easily discuss factors affecting their partnership in a motel conference room or some similarly simple setting. Granted, a conference room does not offer the allure of a tropical island, but without distracting activities such as swimming with sharks, as the characters in Couples Retreat do, couples are free to focus on a faltering partnership.

A number of films depict partners who do not go on a formal retreat, but rather, find themselves in an unlikely situation that allows them to work on and save their marriage. For example, Wanderlust, a 2012 film, tells the story of a couple who is able to repair their troubled marriage after a two-week stay at a free love commune. And in For Richer or Poorer, a couple successfully saves their marriage after a short time living a simpler life in Amish country. These couples repair their marriages simply by rediscovering feelings of love for their respective partners. While some real couples may be able to repair their marriages in such a manner, the reality of marriage counseling is that it often takes time and hard work, which may be difficult or painful for one or both partners.

Although a marriage retreat might be beneficial to couples of any socioeconomic status, the majority of couples seen attempting marriage retreats in the media are all relatively affluent. Because films that show positive resolutions of marital difficulties may inspire some to attend therapy in hopes of resolving their own difficulties, better representation of a wider range of society is needed. Research shows that low income is a factor in many divorces, so the portrayal of high-income couples in the media may be both limiting and unrealistic.

There is also a general lack of diversity in Hollywood’s depiction of marriage retreats. White characters are prominent (though Why Did I Get Married? and its sequel have a black cast), and there is a clear tendency toward heteronormative relationships. Although in recent years, the number of non-heterosexual couples in the media has increased, the couples featured in films showing marriage retreats are heterosexual, which might give an impression of ignoring the existence of a significant portion of the population. Non-heterosexual couples are likely to face the same issues that heterosexual couples do, and their absence in the media contributes to the unrealistic portrayal of marriage retreats. What’s more, there is little variety in body type shown, a recurring area of concern in Hollywood films.

Can A Marriage Retreat Save Your Marriage?

Hollywood films appear to give the message that marriages can be fixed in a weekend, but this is often not the case. Marriage retreats seen in the media may seem fun, more like a vacation than counseling, but the truth is that a couples retreat, like couples counseling, can be intense and tough. Couples may find themselves facing confessions of infidelity, fading feelings, and other harsh truths. They may be able to resolve issues by building communication skills or by exploring ways to rekindle physical and emotional intimacy. Drs. John and Julie Gottman of Orcas Island, Washington, state that couples will learn skills to “transform inevitable relationship conflicts into constructive problem solving and warmer understanding” on their two-day retreat. Some couples might achieve a different kind of clarity on the retreat and realize that their relationship may be best ended. No matter the case, retreats can be helpful to couples, both as a starting point to therapy and as a supplement to marital counseling.

Those considering a marriage retreat may wish to research the retreat itself, as well as the therapist conducting it. A marital counselor may also be able to recommend a retreat to an interested couple. The goals of any retreat and the services that are included, such as the amount of counseling hours provided as well as the type and length of sessions, should be clearly stated. Different types of retreats, with varying costs, are available to those who are interested: They might even be found close to one’s home. A trust-building exercise on jet-skis may seem like a fun activity, but it is not a realistic one for many couples. While a marriage retreat can still be enjoyable, it will often also be intense work that provides a basis for more work in the future.

References:

  1. Gottman Private Couples Retreats. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.gottmancouplesretreats.com/default.aspx.
  2. Hawkins, A., & Fackrell, T. (2009). How common is divorce and what are the reasons? In Should I Keep Trying to Work it Out? Salt Lake City, Utah.
  3. Mayerowitz, S. (2009, October 9). Couples Retreat: Movie vs. Reality, Meet the Real Relationship Experts. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/couples-retreat-movie-reality-meet-real-relationship-experts/story?id=8785604.
  4. Miller, A. (2013). Can this marriage be saved? Monitor on Psychology, 44(4), 42-42.
  5. Weil, E. (2012, March 2). Does Couples Therapy Work? Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/fashion/couples-therapists-confront-the-stresses-of-their-field.html?_r=0.

Thank you for your letter. Let me start by saying this pattern is more common than many people realize. There are varying opinions on why feelings and reactions evolve this way, but there are a couple of things that may be playing into it. First, the revelation of an affair is indication that your marriage is on shaky ground, and your increased desire for sex may be one way of “staking your claim,” consciously or unconsciously, and regaining the ground you feel you have lost. You may—again, not necessarily consciously—desire increased intimacy with your husband because you are afraid to lose him.

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Second, there are many people who, for various reasons, associate love with extreme emotions. When those individuals get into relationships that are relatively “easy” and “normal,” they can and sometimes do lose passion for their partners. When something happens to heighten emotions, it can serve as a spark of sorts and passion can, as a result, be reignited. Based on what you described about the trajectory of your relationship, it sounds like you might be inclined—again, possibly unconsciously—to equate intensity with love. While maintaining passion is important for a relationship, it is also not reasonable to maintain high levels of intensity long-term. In the course of everyday life, over time, intensity may diminish and passion may wane. Part of the challenge every couple faces is how to have a strong, passionate union when life’s many demands creep in.

When something happens to heighten emotions, it can serve as a spark of sorts and passion can, as a result, be reignited. Based on what you described about the trajectory of your relationship, it sounds like you might be inclined—possibly unconsciously—to equate intensity with love.

During this confusing time, despite the intense feelings you’re having, you are asking yourself some valid and serious questions that deserve to be carefully examined before you make any rash decisions. While it is well within the realm of “ordinary” to have your passion reignited in a situation like yours, it is worth deeper examination to understand why you responded this way and if you want to continue this pattern. The other questions you are asking are also important to sit with; the trust in your relationship was breached, and that takes significant time and effort to repair. Are you both willing and able to do that? If you do choose to stay together and work things out, how will you deal with the dynamics at play and work to maintain passion without crisis? Another question that bears examination is if your relationship style is best suited for monogamy; it sounds like you both once enjoyed a more open or “swinging” style that inspired passionate feelings reminiscent of what you’re feeling now.

Your husband made his choices and surely had his reasons, and exploring his experience of this as well as yours in a safe, nonjudgmental, therapeutic space likely would serve him, you, your relationship, and ultimately your family. Your situation is complex, but there are many therapists who specialize in sexuality and relationship concerns. I strongly suggest you seek out a skilled therapist who can assist you in navigating your path, whatever you decide. Best wishes along the way.

Sincerely,
Lisa

young boy chasing young girlCircle, circle, dot, dot … if you know how the “vaccination” ends, then you’re just like millions of other people who grew up fearing the dreaded “cooties.” Cooties may not be real, but the emotions that cause children to manufacture invisible bugs certainly are. A small study published in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience has uncovered the brain signals associated with cooties.

Does Gender Matter for How Kids Assess Peers?

Researchers began by asking 93 children questions about their attitudes toward peers of the same and opposite sex. They also used functional MRI scans to monitor the brains of 52 participants as they viewed photos of other children.

Researchers found that, in children ages 4 to 7, the amygdala sends more signals in response to photos of opposite-sex peers. These children also ranked same-sex peers more positively, ascribing more positive adjectives even to same-sex children they’d never seen or met. In children nearing puberty (ages 10 to 12), though, researchers noted no gender-based differences in their reaction to peers.

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How Young Children Police Gender

The amygdala plays a number of important roles, but brain research suggests that one of its functions is to react to new things in the environment. In this way, it serves as a sort of “threat detector.” In very young children, opposite-sex peers may be perceived as a threat. Thus, the behavior of the amygdala may help explain the cooties phenomenon that tends to take hold of very young kids.

This doesn’t mean that the brain causes kids to believe in cooties or that cooties are an inevitable part of childhood. But it does suggest that kids may view opposite-sex peers as greater threats, especially in early childhood. As children develop more opposite-sex friendships and become less rigid in their attitudes toward gender, the need for cooties “shots” and the perception of opposite-sex peers as threatening may wane.

This aligns neatly with previous research into gender development in kids. When children first become aware of sex and gender, they may not realize that it’s permanent. Thus, they associate stereotypically gendered behavior—makeup and dresses for girls, football and swords for boys—with biological sex. Some children may not understand that a boy can act like a stereotypical girl but still remain male. This might help explain why kids perceive opposite-sex peers as a threat, and why they feel compelled to “inoculate” themselves.

References:

  1. Amygdala encodes ‘cooties’ and ‘crushes’ in the developing brain. (2015, April 9). Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/04/150409120303.htm
  2. Martin, C. L., and Ruble, D. N. (2013). Patterns of gender development. Annual Review of Psychology, (61), 353-381. doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100511

child playing video gameViolence in video games has long concerned parents, who worry about the influence on impressionable minds of controversial games such as Grand Theft Auto. In many games, players score higher when they break the (virtual) law, behave violently toward others, and maximize the pain inflicted on other players.

So pervasive is the idea that violent video games cause violent behavior that a 2010 survey found that 49% of adults believe that violent games can inspire some people to commit real-life atrocities. A study published in Psychology of Popular Media Culture undermines this claim, suggesting that violent video games do not increase violent behavior. Instead, the researchers argue, duration of play is what matters.

Violent Video Games Might Not Cause Violent Behavior

Researchers interviewed about 200 10- and 11-year-olds about their video game-playing habits. They also asked the children’s teachers about their classroom behavior, problem-solving skills, and academic engagement. Two-thirds of the children reported playing video games each day, with boys almost twice as likely as girls to engage in daily game playing. About 10% of children reported playing games for more than three hours each day.

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Children who played video games for less than an hour each day showed lower rates of aggression than children who did not play at all—even when the games in question were violent ones. Children who played for longer than three hours each day, however, had higher levels of aggression and lower levels of academic engagement. The study’s authors argue that their results show that daily video game play is not linked to an increase in aggression. Instead, prolonged play may increase aggression, though the study did not illuminate why this might be.

The Video Game Debate Rages On

Researchers in the study were careful to point out that new technologies often inspire a moral panic. At various times, parents have worried about the effects of violent movies and television, aggressive music lyrics, and even radio shows. With each technological advancement, though, there hasn’t been a sudden new wave of crime.

So, the jury is still out on the effects of video games. Research consistently finds benefits such as an increase in spatial reasoning skills, but some studies have uncovered a correlation between violent games and violent behavior. A 2014 study found that kids ages 8 to 17 who played many violent video games displayed an increase in violent behavior, even three years later. Another study found an increase in violence among teens who played violent video games.

The way a video game affects an individual child may depend on a number of factors, including parental involvement, the child’s personality, how much time the child spends on games, and similar components of a child’s environment.

References:

  1. 22 charts and graphs on video games and youth violence. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://videogames.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=003627
  2. Bingham, J. (2015, April 1). Study finds no evidence violent video games make children aggressive. Retrieved from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/11507576/Study-finds-no-evidence-violent-video-games-make-children-aggressive.html
  3. Rettner, R. (2014, March 24). Do violent games boost aggression? Study adds fire to debate. Retrieved from http://www.livescience.com/44325-video-games-aggression-debate.html
  4. Violent video games make teenagers more aggressive, study finds. (2012, October 8). Retrieved from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/video-games/9593188/Violent-video-games-make-teenagers-more-aggressive-study-finds.html

Thank you for your question, and congratulations on your sobriety! Fifteen months is great; clearly, in spite of your current woes, you’re doing something right.

I think the answer to your question is in the question itself. Very often relationships that feel “broken,” dysfunctional, and so on lead to an overall bad feeling about ourselves, or low self-worth or self-esteem that, actually, may precede the relationship itself. I have found in my clinical practice that it is not just the relationship that isn’t working; it is the negative way we have come to see ourselves that defines who we seek as partners.

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If we have a negative self-concept—and I know few newly sober people who don’t—then we may seek out partners who have similar challenges with self-esteem, who then tend to act negatively toward others. Why should we act lovingly toward anyone “dumb enough” to be with us? Or, the flipside of the same coin: we feel we must treat with utmost deference anyone who would be gracious enough to come into our lives, since he or she is doing us such a tremendous favor. We therefore tend to dish out or absorb hurtful behavior that reflects a primal woundedness, unhealed and unconscious, guaranteed to keep us in relational unhappiness until squarely faced.

Your boyfriend treats you with much less than the respect and care you deserve—and you are obviously a caring soul—leaving you in a state, I would imagine, of bewilderment and pain. I would assert that abusive relationships, too, are cunning, baffling, and powerful, probably because there is an aspect of the partner that is “good” or caring and aware of the hurtful outbursts, perhaps even expressing remorse after the curses and fists have flown. We also might feel we “get” the person more than anyone else—that he or she is a sheep in wolf’s clothing, etc., and deserves a chance when everyone else is so against him or her. (Surprisingly, I see a lot of abused husbands and boyfriends in my private practice.) But then it happens yet again, similar to a person with alcoholism who rages while drunk and then makes “never again” promises or refuses to talk about it.

If we have a negative self-concept—and I know few newly sober people who don’t—then we may seek out partners who have similar challenges with self-esteem, who then tend to act negatively toward others.

It is not at all uncommon for people who have gotten clean and sober to discover a secondary “addiction” or compulsive behavior (or even relationship or some kind). What you have going for you here is a dawning awareness that there is, indeed, something wrong with this picture: an excellent place to start. Try to keep your eyes and senses open to what your actual experience is here, rather than what “ought” to happen or the “tomorrow” that might be better. I also suggest that you try one or two possible options, namely Al-Anon or CoDA (Co-Dependents Anonymous), as well as counseling, since the roots of your own relationship perceptions and beliefs probably, I venture, go very deep indeed. You might also seek out a women’s group in AA or a women’s group where you can talk about these issues (often shameful and painful to discuss with others) and find proper support and feedback from others who have walked in your shoes (or similar shoes). It can be even more difficult to “quit” an abusive (or something like it) relationship, since we so often feel a strong tie with the “caring” or more aware part of the person per the above, even if he/she can’t or won’t stop. (And don’t believe for a second, in your case, that he can’t; he can, trust me, if there is enough consequence for his not doing so—i.e., losing the relationship!)

It’s time to learn new ways to enforce boundaries, in other words, just as you have done so superbly with the drugs and booze: here again I suggest you define and then communicate to him and, if need be, enforce these boundaries against any verbal, emotional, or physical behavior that crosses the line. There’s no shame in the fact this is difficult, given longstanding beliefs and convictions about ourselves and what we do and don’t deserve, beliefs which may again be unconscious or unarticulated. If we grew up in an abusive environment, we learned that we “must” tolerate chaotic or hurtful behaviors that become commonplace.

Finally, regarding the idea that your kids “should be enough”: watch out for “shoulds”; they only make us feel worse about ourselves. A relationship with children—and congratulations on making amends in that regard, by the way—is naturally quite different than one with a partner. It’s rather like saying, “Why do I need to eat vegetables, I eat plenty of protein and grains”; holistically speaking, we seek and desire different types of love, and naturally, parental love is quite different than intimate or romantic love, which is different than having good friends, etc.

Also, try to remember that you are a role model for your children. You don’t say if you have daughters or sons, but in either event your children will look to you as a prime example of what to expect from women (if they’re male) or how/what women ought to tolerate in their lives from men (if they’re female). Also, I wonder if your ex-husband might feel more comfortable with expanding visitation times if he knew the boyfriend had stopped his acting out or (if he won’t) were out of the picture? Is it safe for your kids if he is around? I don’t know the details, but it’s something to consider. Thanks again for writing. And keep up the good work in your recovery!

Best wishes,
Darren

Watercolor portraitIn recent decades, neuroscience and psychotherapy have joined forces in seeking to understand the biological bases of behavior. The brain is a complex organ, and as we study its function and adaptations we create a window of understanding into how our brains, bodies, and psyches respond to traumatic stimuli.

Have you ever heard of the triune brain? This is a simplified, three-part model of the brain, as originally explained by Dr. Daniel Siegel, that helps us to understand the neurological development of our species and clarifies both the reactions to and treatment of trauma.

Try this with me: Hold your dominant hand out in front of you. Have your palm facing you and look at your wrist and the base of your palm. We will call this your brain stem. (Stay with me now; we’ll explore what that means below.)

Now fold your thumb in toward your palm, as if you are signaling the number four with your extended fingers. This thumb will be your limbic brain. Lastly, cover your thumb with those four fingers, wrapping them over the thumb. This third part, the fingers, we’ll call the prefrontal cortex.

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Look at that: your brain is in your hands! You now have a portable brain model that you can carry with you and use to share this information with others. Now let’s explore the function of each of these three parts of the brain.

Your brain stem, located at the base of your neck at the top of your spinal cord, is the most primitive part of the brain. It governs the functions that keep you alive—your breathing, heart rate, and basic physiological functioning. Fight-or-flight responses involve this area in that they are automatic (not consciously chosen) responses to stress and traumatic situations.

Your limbic brain is where emotional responses register. When you get angry, reactive, or experience intense emotion, this area of the brain tends to have more activity. Scientists can actually see this on functional MRI brain scans.

Often, when trauma occurs we are captivated by the activity in the brain stem and limbic brain and our access to executive function feels difficult, if not impossible. Knowing this, we can make it a goal to reengage the prefrontal cortex in a helpful way.

Lastly, we come to your prefrontal cortex. This is the frontal lobe of the brain, that area just behind the skin and bone of your forehead. This is the area of executive function, the place in the brain where we make conscious decisions.

You may be wondering: how does all of this relate to trauma? Let’s start with what happens to these parts of the brain when something traumatic occurs. I mentioned earlier that the fight-or-flight response is not a conscious choice, but a biological reaction initiated in the brain stem area. Your body experiences the impulse to fight or flee (or freeze, as it may be). This trauma response feels, and is, out of your conscious control.

The limbic brain may hold intense emotion related to the traumatic experience—particularly when the trauma involves a relationship with another person. You may feel sad, angry, overwhelmed, or helpless.

Now here is the catch—and an opportunity for deep learning. Often, when trauma occurs we are captivated by the activity in the brain stem and limbic brain and our access to executive function feels difficult, if not impossible. Knowing this, we can make it a goal to reengage the prefrontal cortex in a helpful way. Here are some examples of how to practice this:

There are some therapeutic techniques of grounding and orienting that can help you to cope with some of the overwhelming emotions associated with trauma. Try them with small things in life—counting down from 10 to one while in traffic, looking for orange objects when you find yourself pulled into a past memory, or focusing on the center of your forehead as a point of meditation. These practices can help build your ability to access the prefrontal cortex during upsetting and even traumatic moments.

Remember, your brain is in your hands! You can look at this hand model any time by creating a fist with your thumb tucked in, then asking yourself, “What part of the brain am I living in?” This simple question begins to engage your prefrontal cortex. We know that our brains are resilient and respond to our thought patterns and habits, so the more you exercise your brain in this way, the stronger the neural connection can become. Cheers to you and your triune brain!

Reference:

Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight: The new science of personal transformation. New York: Bantam Books.

heart monitorMost people want to live as long as possible, but researchers have found that your brain might, in the end, work against you. The study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, suggests that brain signals may play a role in cardiac arrest near the time of death.

Changing brain activity with medication, though, may help reverse the process.

Does Your Brain Help Kill Your Heart?

You might think that the brain goes quiet at the moment of death, but the heart actually shows a burst of electrical activity. The study’s authors theorized that this might have something to do with the cardiac arrest that follows some injuries, such as asphyxiation. They tested their hypothesis with rats, with which humans share many physiological similarities. Researchers asphyxiated the rats while examining their brains and hearts. They found that the rats’ brains released more than a dozen neurochemicals around the time of brain death and cardiac arrest. They also found increased connectivity between the heart and brain.

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This, the researchers believe, results from a cascade of events that ultimately lead to the death of the heart. The process begins as the heart rate slows. As the rats in the study lost consciousness, their brains showed highly organized activity. This may signal an attempt to revive the heart when asphyxiation begins to cause cardiac arrest. At the time of death, though, this brain activity may cause the heart to stop. When researchers used drugs to block brain signals to the heart, ventricular fibrillation—a heart rhythm disturbance that can lead to cardiac arrest—was decreased.

Every year, 400,000 Americans experience cardiac arrest, which may lead to death without immediate help. Strokes, hemorrhages, brain injuries, and epilepsy can lead to cardiac arrest similar to that associated with asphyxiation. If the researchers’ work is applicable to humans, it might be possible to save hundreds of thousands of lives.

Reference:

Near-death brain signaling accelerates demise of the heart. (2015, April 6). Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/04/150406152822.htm

Boy (6-7) sitting by closed door, side viewThe continuum of exposure to domestic violence ranges from chronic arguing and yelling to controlling behaviors, threats, and intimidation, to physical threats, threats of suicide or murder, to threats involving weapons, to serious injuries and fatal assaults. While domestic violence takes many forms, there is always a destructive undercurrent of power and control, with offenders commonly and compulsively grasping for in a surrogate what is lacking within themselves: control.

Any pattern of behaviors in intimate relationships marked by coercive control can be a signal or foreshadowing of abuses. And when children are involved, they are always significantly affected, remaining at risk not only of direct victimization but long-term effects stemming from exposure itself.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have reported that in homes where violence between partners occurs, there is a 45% to 60% chance of co-occurring child abuse, a rate 15 times higher than the average. Even when they are not physically attacked, children witness 68% to 80% of domestic assaults.

With April marking National Child Abuse Prevention Month, these numbers are a sobering reminder of the toll a violent environment takes on kids.

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The circumstances of domestic violence leave caregivers, emotionally and otherwise, unavailable and unresponsive, activating a primal fear in kids beneath and between a host of other raw, complex, and unresolved emotions. The pioneering psychiatrist and researcher Daniel Siegel has written, “The mind develops as the brain responds to ongoing experience. … The pattern of firing of neurons is what gives rise to attention, emotion, and memory.” And what fires together—in a combination of overtly violent exposures and the child’s underlying neurobiological experience—wires together.

The unavoidable attention given, emotions felt, and memories imprinted onto a child’s brain in moments of stress become inextricably linked together and forever taint—or else filter—feelings, beliefs, and choices in relationships and all of life. These children are not merely innocent bystanders. They are victims.

We must better understand the psychological aftermath, which can include fear of harm or abandonment, excessive worry, sadness, or guilt, inability to experience empathy or guilt, habitual lying, low frustration tolerance, emotional distancing, poor judgment, shame about the past, and fear about the future.

The unavoidable attention given, emotions felt, and memories imprinted onto a child’s brain in moments of stress become inextricably linked together and forever taint—or else filter—feelings, beliefs, and choices in relationships and all of life. These children are not merely innocent bystanders. They are victims.

Although they may be unintended victims, living within a climate of chronic emotional volatility and near acute incidents of aggression has a way of searing a neurophysiological muddle—painful and isolating emotions existing alongside ongoing and frequently unmet needs for affection and attachment.

Parents who are themselves batterers are more irritable, less involved in child rearing, more likely to use severe and erratic physical punishment, and less able to distinguish their children’s needs from their own. Both parents, regardless of culpability, risk poor emotional attunement with their children and, consequently, a decreased capacity to recognize stress and danger, protective factors which might increase a child’s resiliency.

Compared with other kids, those who have witnessed domestic violence experience far greater incidence of insomnia, bed wetting, verbal, motor, and cognitive issues, learning difficulties, self-harm, aggressive and antisocial behaviors, depression and anxiety, as well as, most troubling, adult domestic violence, with boys often becoming offenders, victims, or both, and girls more likely to become victims (Brown and Bzostek, 2003).

A growing body of literature has revealed that children who have been exposed to domestic violence are more likely than their peers to experience a wide range of difficulties, from anger, oppositional behavior, and disobedience to fear, low self-worth, and withdrawal to poor sibling, peer, and social relationships. Studies have found evidence of much higher rates of pro-violence attitudes, rigid stereotypical gender beliefs involving male privilege, animal abuse, bullying, assault, property destruction, and substance abuse.

A study by Kilpatrick, Litt, and Williams (1997) concluded that witnessing domestic violence is an experience in and of itself sufficiently intense to precipitate posttraumatic stress in children. The ongoing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study led by the CDC has classified exposure to domestic violence as one of several adverse childhood experiences contributing to poor quality of life, premature death, as well as risk factors for many of the most common causes of death in the United States.

In addition to the exposure itself, additional factors influence impact, including the nature of the violence, age of the child, elapsed time since exposure, the child’s gender, and presence of physical or sexual abuse.

Children who witness fewer incidents of violence and experience positive interactions between caregivers may be, for instance, less detrimentally impacted than those exposed to frequent and extreme aggression. Younger children exhibit more concerning levels of psychological distress than older, more developmentally mature, children. Children are typically highly anxious and fearful immediately after witnessing an incident of domestic violence and less observably so as time passes, but of course this should not be assumed to indicate an absence of anxiety or fear. Boys exhibit more externalizing behavior problems such as aggression and acting out, while girls exhibit more internalizing behavior problems such as withdrawal and depression.

It nearly goes without saying that children who are exposed to domestic violence and are also physically or sexually abused are at a higher risk for emotional and psychological problems than those who witness such violence and are not physically or sexually abused.

Thank goodness there are protective factors that reduce the worst impacts, including a child’s literacy and overall intelligence, the extent to which the child is outgoing and socially competent, and whether the child has safe and supportive relationships with at least one influential adult (Carlson, 2000; Edleson, 2011; Hughes, et al., 2001). Those surrounding the most difficult situations have opportunity to inject resiliency through academic, emotional, and social support. We must all grapple with whether there are ways we might more effectively intervene within our families, schools, and communities to instigate help and healing.

References:

  1. Brown, B., and Bzostek, S. (2003, August). Violence in the lives of children. Crosscurrents, 1. Bethesda, MD: Child Trends. Retrieved from http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2003/01/2003-15ViolenceChildren.pdf
  2. Carlson, B.E. (2000). Children exposed to intimate partner violence: Research findings and implications for intervention. Trauma, Violence, and Abuse, 1 (4), 321-342.
  3. Edleson, J. (2011). Emerging responses to children exposed to domestic violence. Harrisburg, PA: VAWnet, a project of the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence/Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Retrieved from http://www.vawnet.org/Assoc_Files_VAWnet/AR_ChildrensExposure.pdf
  4. Hughes, H. M., Graham-Bermann, S. A., and Gruber, G. (2001). Resilience in children exposed to domestic violence. In S. A. Graham-Bermann (Ed.). Domestic violence in the lives of children (pp. 67-90). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
  5. Kilpatrick, K.L., Litt, M., and Williams, L.M. (1997). Post-traumatic stress disorder in child witness to domestic violence. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 67 (4), 639-644.
  6. Siegel, D., and Hartzell, M. (2004). Parenting from the inside out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive. New York, NY: Tarcher.

sexual assault protest in indiaSexual assault, a difficult subject for many people to talk or even think about, is an unfortunate reality for the approximately 250,000 people who are sexually assaulted in the United States each year.

April is nationally recognized as Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, and April 7 is the designated Day of Action. These campaigns exist as a means to raise awareness of sexual assault in the U.S., so that people not only begin to think about sexual assault and its implications, but start doing something about it, as well.

You have the power to make a difference. Here are eight ways you can help raise sexual assault awareness and also work to prevent its occurrence in the future.

1. Educate Yourself about Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact that a person is coerced or forced to participate in against their will. According to the results from a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) survey released in 2014, nearly one in five women has experienced rape or an attempted rape in her lifetime. Research also paints a grim picture for males. Studies show that one in six men experiences some form of unwanted or abusive sexual experience in his lifetime, as well.

Sexual assault impacts the lives of both men and women, and the resulting trauma often goes far beyond the event itself. People who experience sexual assault are more likely to experience posttraumatic stress, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, drug and alcohol addictions, problems with intimate relationships, and difficulty at school and/or work.

You can help raise national awareness of sexual violence simply by educating yourself and your family. There are several national organizations that provide information and resources on sexual violence. Two of the leading organizations are:

2. Volunteer

There are many ways you can personally get involved in the fight to raise awareness and prevent sexual violence in your local community.

You can volunteer at a crisis center, staff a hotline, participate in fundraising events, advocate for survivors, help raise awareness and improve safety measures on college campuses, or get creative and host your own educational or advocacy event.[fat_widget_right]

3. Lobby Your Representatives

You can speak for those who do not have a voice or are not able to express it. Congress needs to hear from citizens who support legislation to improve the criminal justice system, provide support to survivors, and help prevent further violence. The RAINN Action Center has pre-written letters and tweets available to send to members of Congress asking them to support measures related to sexual assault prevention and support. You can use the RAINN hashtag #ActWithRAINN when posting about sexual violence advocacy measures this month.

4. Use Social Media

Connect with the cause and share it on social media to help increase awareness among those in your network. You can use the RAINN hashtag #ActWithRAINN to talk about the cause and connect with @RAINN01 to stay informed.

The NSVRC hosts a twitter discussion every Tuesday in April at 11 a.m. PDT. Follow the conversation or get involved through the hashtag #TweetAboutIt.

5. Learn How to Help Those Who Experience Sexual Assault

It can be difficult to know how to reach out to a loved one who has experienced sexual assault. Below are some tips to help if you are unsure of what to do:

6. Engage the Community

Consider reaching out to your local community to help with prevention efforts. You might talk to bar owners about the role their employees can play in prevention, seek support from faith-based or youth organizations, or encourage college faculty and staff to raise awareness and improve safety on campus.

7. Become an Advocate against Military Sexual Assault

Military sexual violence is one of the most overlooked forms of sexual assault. An estimated 19,000 service members become victims of military sexual assault each year, and at least half of those victims are men, with an estimated 38 military men being sexually assaulted every day. Unfortunately, many of these cases go unreported, as survivors rarely speak up.

You can also get involved and spread the word about prevention and support programs for military sexual violence survivors. RAINN operates a Department of Defense Safe Hotline and website for victims of military sexual assault to obtain crisis intervention, emotional support, and other related resources.

8. Donate

There are several nonprofit organizations against sexual violence that rely mostly on monetary donations from supporters to survive. Even if you cannot volunteer or take any other action, you can still help the cause by providing a donation to the organization of your choice. In addition to RAINN and NSVRC, there are several other nonprofit organizations working to prevent sexual violence and provide support, including:

In addition to national organizations, there are a variety of support and prevention resources available on the local level as well. Get involved in your community. If you are unsure what projects exist near you, the NSVRC provides an online directory of local organizations and projects working to eliminate sexual violence.

We hope you will join us during Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month in supporting several important organizations working toward a safer community for all. On April 7, the Day of Action, we urge you to pick out at least one item and help us create a ripple effect of positive change for those who are suffering, those who have been victimized, and for those who we hope never have to experience the trauma of sexual assault.

References:

  1. Help Someone You Care About. Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. (RAINN). Retrieved from: https://rainn.org/get-help/help-a-loved-one
  2. Kearl, H. (April 1, 2013). 10 Ways to Mark Sexual Assault Awareness Month. American Association of University Women. (AAUW). Retrieved from: http://www.aauw.org/2013/04/01/sexual-assault-awareness-3/
  3. Penn, N. (2014). Military Sexual Assault: Male Survivors Speak Out. com. Retrieved from: http://www.gq.com/long-form/male-military-rape
  4. Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence, Stalking, and Intimate Partner Violence Victimization — National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, United States, 2011. (2014). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm?s_cid=ss6308a1_e
  5. RAINN Action Center. Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. (RAINN). Retrieved from: https://rainn.org/public-policy/rainn-action-center
  6. Resource Directory. National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC). Retrieved from: http://www.nsvrc.org/organizations?tid=8&tid_1=All
  7. SAAM Day of Action (2015). Sexual Assault Awareness Month. National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC). Retrieved from http://www.nsvrc.org/saam/current-campaign/day-of-action
  8. The 1 in 6 Statistic. 1 in 6. Retrieved from: https://1in6.org/the-1-in-6-statistic/
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