Want Family Therapy? These 4 Problems Should Be Treated First
March 18th, 2011
By Lynne Silva-Breen, MDiv, MA, LMFT, Family Therapy Topic Expert Contributor
Click here to contact Lynne and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile
Families are amazingly resilient relationship groups. While many of us have enduring trouble with some aspect of our families, past or present, all of us are part of some form of family all our lives. Most of us organize our lives, day in, day out, year in, year out, around the needs, priorities, goals and problems of our chosen family. Whatever differences and conflicts we may have with other nations and peoples around the world, the human family is the way all of us organize.
Family Therapy is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to understand, theorize and imagine ways to help families function better with more flexibility, healthier communication and more functional roles, responsibilities and shared connections. When family relationships are strained beyond the members’ capacity to respond, having a trusted, compassionate and trained relationship coach or mentor can really make life happier, easier, and healthier for all involved.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, who are licensed now in every state in the country, have specialized education, training and supervision in helping families of every size and shape increase their positive functioning and enjoy family life more. LMFTs seek to bring hope, compassion, curiosity and calm coaching ideas to the client families. At least, that’s the goal!
But as helpful and healing as family therapy can be for many, there are certain life problems that are so detrimental to individual functioning that they should be addressed before family therapy can begin to address the whole system and its parts.
Addiction. Major, active addiction is so distracting and distressing a problem to personal functioning that it must be in treatment and under stable recovery before family therapy can be helpful. Most LMFTs will expect that drug, alcohol, gambling and eating disorders get identified and treated before the whole family is under care. (Sexual addictions, in my experience, may only be identified when a couple or family is well into therapy and so may be initially hidden.)
Mental illness. Major mental illness such as bipolar, severe depression or anxiety, schizophrenia or other disabling conditions should be under treatment before family treatment is begun.
Family violence. Chronic anger, violence and abuse behaviors are so threatening to family life that attempting family therapy can actually cause more hurt unless the violence is prevented, controlled and stopped first.
Affairs. Secret or not, on-going emotional and/or sexual affairs so unbalance a family that therapy is not possible unless they are completely stopped. Most family therapists will ask about affairs in their initial phone conversations or meetings with couples and the adults of family groups, and will defer family therapy in cases of ongoing affairs.
Even if your family may be in the midst of one of these problems, a family therapist may be a great local resource to help you get connected to the help you need. If you are worried about your family, and have run out of your own ideas and energy for change, please consider seeking out the professional help you need to get your closest relationships back on track!
©Copyright 2011 by Lynne Silva-Breen, MDiv, MA, LMFT, therapist in Burnsville, MN. All Rights Reserved.
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2 Comments | Click here to leave a comment.
Comments
It can be very distressing for the entire family even if one family member has a problem or is conflicting with the others.I have to agree that the four things you have mentioned here are of utmost importance and need to be fixed first thing.Also,it is very important that all family members think of fixing the problems for the family’s sake and not be selfish during the therapy.
For many families these underlying issues often overshadow any chance that they will have at having a strong relationship with one another and making the family ties strong and sound. Of course families are always going to have issues but these are some of the more serious ones that can have horrible ramifications on family healing.
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