Topic Experts answer your questions about psychotherapy, mental health, and relationships.
- How Can I Overcome My Fear of Spiders?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Okay, so I get that spiders play an important role in the ecosystem. I get that they keep mosquitoes under control. I know they don't hunt ... Read more »
- Is Polyamory Right for Us If We Sometimes Experience Jealousy?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, One of my partners and I have been together for more than three years. About a year ago, we opened our relationship to a third person and ... Read more »
- How Can I Get Noticed at Work If My Supervisor Takes All the Credit?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I work in an office where there are multiple layers of management, making it hard for the people at the bottom (like me) to get noticed by the ... Read more »
- My Dad Was Sexually Abused as a Child. Should I Talk to Him About It?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My mom and dad divorced when I was 14. I'm in my forties now. Neither of my parents is in the best of health, and I don't know how much time ... Read more »
- Help! How Do I Deal with All This Resentment?
- Help! I Don't Know How to Say No to My Adult Children
Dear GoodTherapy.org, First, let me say I don't think I'm a great parent, but I do try to be one. I know the way I parent is different than how a lot of people are ... Read more »
- Help! How Do I Tell My Partner I Have an STD?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I'm pretty sure I met the love of my life three weeks ago. I'm falling for him fast. He's Read more »
- I Hate My Parents—and I Hate Myself Because of It
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I'll just say it: I hate my parents with every fiber of my being. I'm pretty sure they hate me, too. My dad beat me almost every day when I was ... Read more »
- Therapy Isn't Helping. Is My Therapist Stringing Me Along?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I am hoping you can give me an honest answer here. I have been seeing a therapist for nearly three years now and I just don't feel like it's ... Read more »
- Help! How Do I Get My Husband to Court Me Again?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I have been married to my husband for 12 years and I love him with all my heart. I would never dream of leaving him, so I want to get that out ... Read more »
- Help! My Friend Expects Me to Solve All His Problems
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I have a close friend who comes to me with all his problems, and sometimes I don’t know how to help. Some small issues I can give advice on ... Read more »
- Help! I Don't Know How to Handle Being an Empty-Nester
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Well, the day has finally come. My youngest child is now all grown up and has moved away, leaving me with an empty nest for the first time in ... Read more »
- Help! My Partner Is Terrible at Communicating
Dear GoodTherapy.org, We've been together about a year and a half, and from the beginning we established a mutual dedication to open communication and sharing as ... Read more »
- My Sister Is Sabotaging My Relationship with My Daughter
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Please help me. I have one sibling, my sister, who has been my closest friend for most of my life. She is two years older than me and newly Read more »
- How Can I Get My Loved One to Rehab?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My family and I are worried sick about my brother, who has a terrible Read more »
- How Can I Stop Grinding My Teeth? Is It Due to Anxiety?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, For years now, I've had a problem with grinding my teeth, and it only seems to be getting worse. I think it might be hereditary because my mom ... Read more »
- How Can I End My Gambling Addiction for Good?
- Help! I'm Letting Down the LGBTQ+ Community with My Divorce
Dear GoodTherapy.org, After two years of trying everything we could to make it work, my wife and I have decided we need to get a Read more »
- I Want to Be a Therapist. What Personal Work Comes First?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, So I've heard that if you want to be a mental health professional, it's necessary to do your own internal work in Read more »
- How Do I Take Care of Myself While Caring for a Parent?
- How Can I Deal with Profound Regret?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Throughout my life, I've seemed to encounter many scenarios where I've been presented with choices or opportunities that had the power to ... Read more »
- Will a Therapist Tell My Parents About Self-Harm?
- Help! I'm Afraid of Everything!
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I'm afraid of everything. I seriously mean everything. Spiders, clowns, heights, germs, dying, dogs, small spaces, large crowds, ... Read more »
- How Can I Deal with a Coworker I Hate?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Please help me figure out how to keep my sanity around this person I have to encounter every day at work. You know how some personalities just ... Read more »
- Help! My Antisocial Personality Diagnosis Terrifies Me
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I started going to therapy a couple months ago as part of a court order after I was arrested (again) for shoplifting. I also have Read more »
- How Do I Convince a Parent to Go to Therapy?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My mom is nearing 70. She was widowed four years ago, and ever since then she seems to have given up on life. She barely leaves her house, ... Read more »
- Help! I'm Worried About My Child's Aggressive Play
- Is Being Selfish Always Bad?
- Help! I'm a Natural Flirt, but It's Hurting My Partner
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My husband and I have been together for five years and have a great marriage that includes a very satisfying and active sex life. I've never Read more »
- Do I Need to Give My Kids an Allowance?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My oldest child is 7, and many of his friends receive an allowance from their parents for doing chores around the house. I never gave the idea ... Read more »
- How Do I Overcome the Shame of Sex?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I grew up in a fairly religious household where sex was rarely discussed (and when it was, it was talked about for the purposes of conception). ... Read more »
- Is It Valid to Feel Fear and Anxiety After Trump's Election?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, The unthinkable has happened: Donald Trump has been elected president. I am reeling from the Read more »
- Help! My Family Doesn't Approve of My Relationship
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I've been seeing this wonderful girl for over three years now, and my parents still have not warmed up to her. She and I are a perfect fit, ... Read more »
- My Partner Is an Addict. Should I Leave?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, First of all, my partner does not hit, abuse, or commit any acts of Read more »
- Help! I Think My Husband Is Gay
- What Can I Do About My Terrible Road Rage?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I figured it was time to write in with this question since I just got out of my car shaking with Read more »
- Help! I Just Found Out I Can't Have Children
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Please help me cope with the very confusing and conflicting feelings I'm having. I'm 28 and just found out last month I Read more »
- Am I Crazy for Talking to Myself All the Time?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Apparently, I am the only person in my life who has remained unaware that I have a huge problem with talking to myself and narrating my own ... Read more »
- Am I Nuts for Wanting Liposuction?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I've been overweight my entire life. I'm now in my 30s and in the "obese" category, and I hate feeling like ... Read more »
- Do I Need to Be More Social?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I'm reaching out partly at the insistence of a few friends, who all seem to be worried about me and my antisocial habits. I guess the problem, ... Read more »
- Why Are My Dreams So Stressful?
- Can I Heal from Depression on My Own?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Before you say it, yes, I know it's not ideal or advisable to try to recover from Read more »
- My Parents Are Awful Racists! What Can I Do?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I recently attended a family reunion (full disclosure: this was in the deep south) and was horrified to discover how closed-minded and bigoted ... Read more »
- Help! Should I Be More Excited About Being Pregnant?
- Is It Selfish to Bring a Child into an Unstable World?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I grew up in a large, loving family, and thought for most of my life that I'd have a few kids of my own. I do ache for a family all my own, ... Read more »
- War Changed My Husband; Should I Feel Guilty for Leaving?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Three months ago, my husband returned from his second deployment to the Middle East. I was excited to see him and resume our life together, but ... Read more »
- Am I Horrible for Not Crying at My Father's Funeral?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I recently attended my father's funeral, which was a very large gathering with family, friends, and people in the community. He touched many ... Read more »
- What Does Love Feel Like?
- Why Am I Always Tired?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I've been looking everywhere for an answer to this question, but nothing medical seems to make any sense to my life, so I figured I'd reach out ... Read more »
- Why Do I Hate Myself?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I grew up in a fairly loving, supportive environment, and I don't understand why I'm so filled with Read more »
- How Am I Supposed to Stop Being Crazy?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, So I know "crazy" isn't an acceptable term these days, but it's a term I genuinely identify with, since I don't know what's wrong with me and ... Read more »
- Help! The Man I Agreed to Marry Now Says He Can't Have Sex
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I was raised by parents who taught me the importance of remaining chaste until Read more »
- Help! How Do I Know Which Therapy I Need?
- Help! I'm Single for Fear of Putting My Kid Through Breakup
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I am single and the mother of a 7-year-old girl (her father is not in the picture). For nearly three years I was in a serious Read more »
- Help! My Husband Wants to Go Back to School, Not Work
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I'm a wife, mother of two, and have a great career in the legal field. I've been supporting my husband since we got married three years ago ... Read more »
- Help! My Sister Lies, Steals, and Takes Advantage of Our Mom
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My sister has taken advantage of our mother for years. Beginning in her teenage years, she has lied, stolen money, Read more »
- How Do I Stop My Son from Picking the Military Over College?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Our son, who turned 18 last month, is about to graduate from high school. He's a great kid, an Eagle Scout, and a straight-A student (3.96 ... Read more »
- Should I Give Up on Having a Baby After My Miscarriage?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, It's been a few months since my miscarriage, and while my body has finally recovered from the Read more »
- Help! My Coworkers Are Thieves and I Can’t Report Them!
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I am 18 and have been employed at a branch of a small restaurant chain for almost six months. The manager is often out of the restaurant, ... Read more »
- Am I Addicted to Porn? Is Porn Addiction Even a Thing?
Thank you for your candor. You raise some interesting points, and I’ll do my best to answer them. First of all, I want to stay out of the controversy of whether Read more »
- Am I Being Emotionally Abused by My Husband?
I'm afraid I can't advise you on legal issues, but you may want to consult an attorney in your area to get more information about what your options might be should you choose to ... Read more »
- We're Living a Lie: I'm 'Out' as Gay, but My Partner Isn't
I hear your frustration coming through loud and clear and it is totally understandable. You've been out to everyone for over two decades and feel deeply liberated by it. You know ... Read more »
- Help! I Feel Like My Therapist Judges Me
- Why Am I So Paranoid and Skeptical About Everything?
- Is It Normal to Have Intrusive, Disturbing Thoughts?
- Why Can't I Bond with My Kids After My Husband Died?
- I Was Sexually Abused by My Stepfather. Do I Have PTSD?
- What Kind of Counseling Should I Seek for My Adult Child?
First, thanks for writing. Second, I’m sorry to hear about your travails; I can only imagine the exhausting and frightening roller-coaster you have been riding. Finally, this may or may not ... Read more »
- Help! Long After My Breakup, I Still Need Closure
- My Husband Left Me! Let Him Go or Fight for Our Marriage?
- When Is It OK to End a One-Sided Friendship?
You know what they say: “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” I guess in this case, your part is the friend part and she’s the “in need” part. You say she calls on you when she needs help, ... Read more »
- How Do I Succeed in Drug Rehab and Reconnect with My Son?
Thanks for your question. And congratulations on your decision to get sober and go to treatment. I dare say it’s probably the best decision anyone in your position could ever make for themselves. ... Read more »
- Help! My Therapist Suddenly Retired and I Feel Abandoned
- Help! I Resent My Mother for Shortchanging Me in Her Will
- Help! I Can't Seem to Forgive Myself for How I Treated My Ex
Your very sad story is touching. You’re worried that you’ve wasted four years of your life and clearly miss the man who was your partner, and you long for the good times you spent together. ... Read more »
- If Sex Doesn't Involve Kink or BDSM, I'm Not Interested
Thank you for your question, which took bravery on your part, I’m sure. I think I get the “I’m a little afraid of your answer” part, as I’m sensing some Read more »
- Help! Every Sound I Hear Makes Me Anxious and Irritable
- Should I Tell My Therapist I Have a Crush on Him?
- Why Would a Man My Age Have a Rapidly Declining Sex Drive?
- How Can We Convince My Sister to Dump Her Loser Boyfriend?
- Help! Is It Time for Some 'Tough Love' with Our Teenage Son?
Thank you for your question, which sounds like just about every parent’s nightmare—one that’s more common than you might think. For me, the key to the answer is in your last two questions. ... Read more »
- Is There Something Wrong with Being a 'Commitment-Phobe'?
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here. You ask what I think your problem is, and I find myself wondering what you think the problem is or if you even think ... Read more »
- Help! I'm Worried My Ex Is Turning Our Kids Against Me
There is no question that this is a painful situation for everyone—particularly your kids. The way they are responding to you and this new situation is definitely impacted by how young they are and ... Read more »
- Bah Humbug! Am I a Bad Person for Hating the Holidays?
You are not alone—not everybody loves the holidays, and plenty of people hate them. Thanksgiving is only round one. Not long after, you get socked with a real haymaker, the endgame (literally, ... Read more »
- Help! My Girlfriend Keeps Making Her Pets My Problem
Before I try to answer your question, I have to come clean. When my husband Mark and I first met 30 years ago I lived with a 7-year-old boy, two snakes, two cats, a dog, a bunch of tropical fish, two ... Read more »
- Why Do I 'Troll' People on the Internet and How Can I Stop?
Thank you for reaching out with this powerful question. There are a number of reasons you may be engaging in this behavior, and I hope this response helps you to uncover some of what motivates it so ... Read more »
- Does Loving a Man Imprisoned for Life Make Me Crazy?
Thank you for your very honest letter. First, let me say that I do not think there is any such thing as “crazy.” Part of my work as a psychotherapist is to put such apparently “irrational” ... Read more »
- Help! My Only Friends Are Homophobic and Don't Know I'm Gay
- Help! I Feel Like I Don't Deserve My Husband and He'll Leave
- A Child Smeared Poop in Our Home; Should I Tell Her Parents?
How upsetting to make such a discovery! It is unusual, developmentally, for an 8-year-old to smear feces on the wall, though I would hesitate to jump to the conclusion of Read more »
- Help! My Husband Refuses to Unfriend a Woman He Flirted With
Thank you for your letter. I am sure that it hurt your feelings, to say the least, when your husband laughed at your request to remove the woman from his Facebook friends list. I also think that, ... Read more »
- Help! My Husband Yells at Me When I Mention Our Lack of Sex
- How Do I Deal with Younger, Competitive People at Work?
You describe yourself as cooperative, gregarious, and caring. These are the strengths I hope you will use to help yourself and your colleagues—the old ones and the new ones—so you can work ... Read more »
- Help! How Do I Get My Husband to Help More Around the House?
Your frustrations are not uncommon in households where one partner works outside the home and one stays at home. Feeling like you do it all, particularly if you feel as if your efforts are not ... Read more »
- How Can I Stay Strong Knowing My Wife Has Terminal Cancer?
I am so sorry to hear about your situation, and cannot imagine the pain you and your wife must be experiencing as she fights her battle against Read more »
- How Upset Should I Be If I Was Hired Because I'm a Minority?
Wow, that’s a really tough issue to face. I’m glad you wrote, and I hope I can help you out some. My first question is how do these colleagues know about the hiring process? Many companies ... Read more »
- Should I Tell My Wife about an Affair That Ended Long Ago?
- Why Do I Freeze Up When I Speak in Front of People?
Whenever a problem develops where no problem existed before, my first question is always: what is different now? You mention that you previously gave lectures to 150 people as a ... Read more »
- Help! My Mother-in-Law Is Taking My Husband Away from Me
- I Feel So Guilty about Leaving My Husband, but Leave I Must
Topic Experts answer your questions about psychotherapy, mental health, and relationships.
About Dear GoodTherapy.org
"Dear GoodTherapy.org" is published as a community service with the intention of addressing visitor- submitted questions about psychotherapy, mental health, and relationship issues and is edited by Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, Founder and CEO of GoodTherapy.org. This column and any other content on this website is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or psychotherapy. Always seek the advice of a licensed mental health practitioner without delay with questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition. Please never disregard professional advice because of something you have read on GoodTherapy.org.