Topic Experts answer your questions about psychotherapy, mental health, and relationships.
- Do I Need to Give My Kids an Allowance?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My oldest child is 7, and many of his friends receive an allowance from their parents for doing chores around the house. I never gave the idea ... Read more »
- How Do I Overcome the Shame of Sex?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I grew up in a fairly religious household where sex was rarely discussed (and when it was, it was talked about for the purposes of conception). ... Read more »
- Is It Valid to Feel Fear and Anxiety After Trump's Election?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, The unthinkable has happened: Donald Trump has been elected president. I am reeling from the Read more »
- Help! My Family Doesn't Approve of My Relationship
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I've been seeing this wonderful girl for over three years now, and my parents still have not warmed up to her. She and I are a perfect fit, ... Read more »
- My Partner Is an Addict. Should I Leave?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, First of all, my partner does not hit, abuse, or commit any acts of Read more »
- Help! I Think My Husband Is Gay
- What Can I Do About My Terrible Road Rage?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I figured it was time to write in with this question since I just got out of my car shaking with Read more »
- Help! I Just Found Out I Can't Have Children
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Please help me cope with the very confusing and conflicting feelings I'm having. I'm 28 and just found out last month I Read more »
- Am I Crazy for Talking to Myself All the Time?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Apparently, I am the only person in my life who has remained unaware that I have a huge problem with talking to myself and narrating my own ... Read more »
- Am I Nuts for Wanting Liposuction?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I've been overweight my entire life. I'm now in my 30s and in the "obese" category, and I hate feeling like ... Read more »
- Do I Need to Be More Social?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I'm reaching out partly at the insistence of a few friends, who all seem to be worried about me and my antisocial habits. I guess the problem, ... Read more »
- Why Are My Dreams So Stressful?
- Can I Heal from Depression on My Own?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Before you say it, yes, I know it's not ideal or advisable to try to recover from Read more »
- My Parents Are Awful Racists! What Can I Do?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I recently attended a family reunion (full disclosure: this was in the deep south) and was horrified to discover how closed-minded and bigoted ... Read more »
- Help! Should I Be More Excited About Being Pregnant?
- Is It Selfish to Bring a Child into an Unstable World?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I grew up in a large, loving family, and thought for most of my life that I'd have a few kids of my own. I do ache for a family all my own, ... Read more »
- War Changed My Husband; Should I Feel Guilty for Leaving?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Three months ago, my husband returned from his second deployment to the Middle East. I was excited to see him and resume our life together, but ... Read more »
- Am I Horrible for Not Crying at My Father's Funeral?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I recently attended my father's funeral, which was a very large gathering with family, friends, and people in the community. He touched many ... Read more »
- What Does Love Feel Like?
- Why Am I Always Tired?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I've been looking everywhere for an answer to this question, but nothing medical seems to make any sense to my life, so I figured I'd reach out ... Read more »
- Why Do I Hate Myself?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I grew up in a fairly loving, supportive environment, and I don't understand why I'm so filled with Read more »
- How Am I Supposed to Stop Being Crazy?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, So I know "crazy" isn't an acceptable term these days, but it's a term I genuinely identify with, since I don't know what's wrong with me and ... Read more »
- Help! The Man I Agreed to Marry Now Says He Can't Have Sex
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I was raised by parents who taught me the importance of remaining chaste until Read more »
- Help! How Do I Know Which Therapy I Need?
- Help! I'm Single for Fear of Putting My Kid Through Breakup
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I am single and the mother of a 7-year-old girl (her father is not in the picture). For nearly three years I was in a serious Read more »
- Help! My Husband Wants to Go Back to School, Not Work
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I'm a wife, mother of two, and have a great career in the legal field. I've been supporting my husband since we got married three years ago ... Read more »
- Help! My Sister Lies, Steals, and Takes Advantage of Our Mom
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My sister has taken advantage of our mother for years. Beginning in her teenage years, she has lied, stolen money, Read more »
- How Do I Stop My Son from Picking the Military Over College?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, Our son, who turned 18 last month, is about to graduate from high school. He's a great kid, an Eagle Scout, and a straight-A student (3.96 ... Read more »
- Should I Give Up on Having a Baby After My Miscarriage?
Dear GoodTherapy.org, It's been a few months since my miscarriage, and while my body has finally recovered from the Read more »
- Help! My Coworkers Are Thieves and I Can’t Report Them!
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I am 18 and have been employed at a branch of a small restaurant chain for almost six months. The manager is often out of the restaurant, ... Read more »
- Am I Addicted to Porn? Is Porn Addiction Even a Thing?
Thank you for your candor. You raise some interesting points, and I’ll do my best to answer them. First of all, I want to stay out of the controversy of whether Read more »
- Am I Being Emotionally Abused by My Husband?
I'm afraid I can't advise you on legal issues, but you may want to consult an attorney in your area to get more information about what your options might be should you choose to ... Read more »
- We're Living a Lie: I'm 'Out' as Gay, but My Partner Isn't
I hear your frustration coming through loud and clear and it is totally understandable. You've been out to everyone for over two decades and feel deeply liberated by it. You know ... Read more »
- Help! I Feel Like My Therapist Judges Me
- Why Am I So Paranoid and Skeptical About Everything?
- Is It Normal to Have Intrusive, Disturbing Thoughts?
- Why Can't I Bond with My Kids After My Husband Died?
- I Was Sexually Abused by My Stepfather. Do I Have PTSD?
- What Kind of Counseling Should I Seek for My Adult Child?
First, thanks for writing. Second, I’m sorry to hear about your travails; I can only imagine the exhausting and frightening roller-coaster you have been riding. Finally, this may or may not ... Read more »
- Help! Long After My Breakup, I Still Need Closure
- My Husband Left Me! Let Him Go or Fight for Our Marriage?
- When Is It OK to End a One-Sided Friendship?
You know what they say: “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” I guess in this case, your part is the friend part and she’s the “in need” part. You say she calls on you when she needs help, ... Read more »
- How Do I Succeed in Drug Rehab and Reconnect with My Son?
Thanks for your question. And congratulations on your decision to get sober and go to treatment. I dare say it’s probably the best decision anyone in your position could ever make for themselves. ... Read more »
- Help! My Therapist Suddenly Retired and I Feel Abandoned
- Help! I Resent My Mother for Shortchanging Me in Her Will
- Help! I Can't Seem to Forgive Myself for How I Treated My Ex
Your very sad story is touching. You’re worried that you’ve wasted four years of your life and clearly miss the man who was your partner, and you long for the good times you spent together. ... Read more »
- If Sex Doesn't Involve Kink or BDSM, I'm Not Interested
Thank you for your question, which took bravery on your part, I’m sure. I think I get the “I’m a little afraid of your answer” part, as I’m sensing some Read more »
- Help! Every Sound I Hear Makes Me Anxious and Irritable
- Should I Tell My Therapist I Have a Crush on Him?
- Why Would a Man My Age Have a Rapidly Declining Sex Drive?
- How Can We Convince My Sister to Dump Her Loser Boyfriend?
- Help! Is It Time for Some 'Tough Love' with Our Teenage Son?
Thank you for your question, which sounds like just about every parent’s nightmare—one that’s more common than you might think. For me, the key to the answer is in your last two questions. ... Read more »
- Is There Something Wrong with Being a 'Commitment-Phobe'?
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here. You ask what I think your problem is, and I find myself wondering what you think the problem is or if you even think ... Read more »
- Help! I'm Worried My Ex Is Turning Our Kids Against Me
There is no question that this is a painful situation for everyone—particularly your kids. The way they are responding to you and this new situation is definitely impacted by how young they are and ... Read more »
- Bah Humbug! Am I a Bad Person for Hating the Holidays?
You are not alone—not everybody loves the holidays, and plenty of people hate them. Thanksgiving is only round one. Not long after, you get socked with a real haymaker, the endgame (literally, ... Read more »
- Help! My Girlfriend Keeps Making Her Pets My Problem
Before I try to answer your question, I have to come clean. When my husband Mark and I first met 30 years ago I lived with a 7-year-old boy, two snakes, two cats, a dog, a bunch of tropical fish, two ... Read more »
- Why Do I 'Troll' People on the Internet and How Can I Stop?
Thank you for reaching out with this powerful question. There are a number of reasons you may be engaging in this behavior, and I hope this response helps you to uncover some of what motivates it so ... Read more »
- Does Loving a Man Imprisoned for Life Make Me Crazy?
Thank you for your very honest letter. First, let me say that I do not think there is any such thing as “crazy.” Part of my work as a psychotherapist is to put such apparently “irrational” ... Read more »
- Help! My Only Friends Are Homophobic and Don't Know I'm Gay
- Help! I Feel Like I Don't Deserve My Husband and He'll Leave
- A Child Smeared Poop in Our Home; Should I Tell Her Parents?
How upsetting to make such a discovery! It is unusual, developmentally, for an 8-year-old to smear feces on the wall, though I would hesitate to jump to the conclusion of Read more »
- Help! My Husband Refuses to Unfriend a Woman He Flirted With
Thank you for your letter. I am sure that it hurt your feelings, to say the least, when your husband laughed at your request to remove the woman from his Facebook friends list. I also think that, ... Read more »
- Help! My Husband Yells at Me When I Mention Our Lack of Sex
- How Do I Deal with Younger, Competitive People at Work?
You describe yourself as cooperative, gregarious, and caring. These are the strengths I hope you will use to help yourself and your colleagues—the old ones and the new ones—so you can work ... Read more »
- Help! How Do I Get My Husband to Help More Around the House?
Your frustrations are not uncommon in households where one partner works outside the home and one stays at home. Feeling like you do it all, particularly if you feel as if your efforts are not ... Read more »
- How Can I Stay Strong Knowing My Wife Has Terminal Cancer?
I am so sorry to hear about your situation, and cannot imagine the pain you and your wife must be experiencing as she fights her battle against Read more »
- How Upset Should I Be If I Was Hired Because I'm a Minority?
Wow, that’s a really tough issue to face. I’m glad you wrote, and I hope I can help you out some. My first question is how do these colleagues know about the hiring process? Many companies ... Read more »
- Should I Tell My Wife about an Affair That Ended Long Ago?
- Why Do I Freeze Up When I Speak in Front of People?
Whenever a problem develops where no problem existed before, my first question is always: what is different now? You mention that you previously gave lectures to 150 people as a ... Read more »
- Help! My Mother-in-Law Is Taking My Husband Away from Me
- I Feel So Guilty about Leaving My Husband, but Leave I Must
- My Girlfriend Hid Her Depression; Now I Don't Feel Safe!
- It Was Only Flirting, but Now My Husband Doesn't Trust Me
With the intensity of the feelings you and your husband are experiencing, I imagine two weeks feels like a long time. In reality, and especially considering your husband's ... Read more »
- What If My Racist Family Rejects My Girlfriend and Her Kids?
Thank you for reaching out with such a powerful and important question. I commend you for taking the time and being thoughtful, considerate, and deliberate in planning your course of action with what ... Read more »
- Help! My Husband Is Putting His Hobby Before Our Marriage
- A Call for Help Adjusting from the Military to Civilian Life
Thanks for writing in, and thank you for your service. I can only imagine the difficulty of transitioning from being in the service overseas to civilian life. I’m curious as to why, if indeed you ... Read more »
- Help! A Decade Later, I Just Found Out My Husband Has 2 Kids
- Help! I'm Lost in My Mind, with No Sense of Life Purpose
- Our Relationship Has Hit a Wall; How Do I Get My Needs Met?
It sounds like you are in a very frustrating, even painful, place in your relationship right now. While all Read more »
- Help! If I Have an Abortion, Do I Have to Tell My Boyfriend?
- She's Everything I Want in a Woman—Except She's Religious
- Help! I Love My Wife, but I Don't Like Having Sex with Her
Thank you for your very honest question. This is, obviously, a sensitive topic. But you might take heart in the fact it is not all that uncommon an issue among couples. In this case, it sounds ... Read more »
- Help! Why Can't I Stop Making Self-Destructive Choices?
- I've Stolen, I've Lied, and I Want My Wife Back. Help!
You write that you have lied, stolen, and pawned jewelry from family, and used that money to buy alcohol. You were seemingly out of control, but you weren’t really—you made choices, choices that ... Read more »
- Help! My Husband Won't Let Me Discipline His Children
- My Husband Cheated! So Why Is Our Sex Life Hotter Than Ever?
Thank you for your letter. Let me start by saying this pattern is more common than many people realize. There are varying opinions on why feelings and reactions evolve this way, but there are a ... Read more »
- Help! I'm Finally Clean, but My Boyfriend Still Uses Drugs
Thank you for your question, and congratulations on your sobriety! Fifteen months is great; clearly, in spite of your current woes, you’re doing something right. I think the answer to your ... Read more »
- Help! My Insensitive Family Won't Shut Up about My Weight
Of course you're not laughing! This all sounds incredibly painful. Ideally, family provide a place of warmth, comfort, and support. It sounds like you feel like you are getting Read more »
- Help! I'm Afraid to Talk to My Therapist about Self-Injury
- Help! I Believe My Father-in-Law Is Abusing My Daughter
Of course you are concerned! Anytime we see a behavior like that in a child and she or he is unable or unwilling to explain the change, we Read more »
- Should My Son Play Football? My Husband and I Disagree!
Thanks for your question. An excellent one indeed and one which I know many parents can relate to. Even though I’m a football fan myself (from Pittsburgh!), I understand your concerns and share ... Read more »
- How Can I Avoid Being Dragged Down by a Depressing World?
Let me start off by saying, I hear you! I actually recently noticed that watching too much news was getting me down a bit, too. I cut back and shifted my focus to other, more uplifting things and I ... Read more »
- Is It Friendship If You Have Nothing in Common Anymore?
Thanks for your question. I guess the simple and perhaps even smart-alecky answer would be, “Don’t talk about politics and stick to sports!” I have very good friends who disagree with me ... Read more »
- Mom's Leaving Me with Hurt, Guilt, Resentment, and Anger
First, I want to tell you that you are absolutely entitled to all of your feelings—even the ones that seem to contradict each other. Relationships are very complex; there is room for many ... Read more »
- Three Jobs, Two Kids, One Disabled Mom, and No Hope. Help!
I have to admit that when I first read your letter I felt overwhelmed. I was a single mother myself for several years, many years ago. Your voice called up those years, and I remembered how tired I ... Read more »
- I Caught My Mom Cheating and She Begged Me to Keep It Secret
I'm so sorry you find yourself in this position. I imagine you feel like you either have to be disloyal to your mom and tell your dad, or be disloyal to your dad and keep this secret from him. That ... Read more »
- Another Abandonment? My Therapist Won't See Me Anymore!
It’s easy to understand why you feel hurt; your experience with this therapist is a reminder of previous Read more »
- Childhood Trauma Left Me Feeling Worthless and Depressed
Thank you for your question. Boy, oh boy were you put through the wringer. My heart ached to read of your experiences. I suppose the short version of my answer would be to see a therapist soon as you ... Read more »
- After 32 Years, I'm Ready to Leave My Wife and Take a Chance
Thank you for reaching out and asking these important questions. I appreciate how hard it is to ask for help and I’m really glad you did. I am going to share my thoughts on your situation as ... Read more »
- I Badly Want to Be a Mom, but Fear I'll Have to Go It Alone
You are neither crazy nor too old. You are also not alone in having your dream of motherhood deferred. There are many Read more »
Topic Experts answer your questions about psychotherapy, mental health, and relationships.
About Dear GoodTherapy.org
"Dear GoodTherapy.org" is published as a community service with the intention of addressing visitor- submitted questions about psychotherapy, mental health, and relationship issues and is edited by Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, Founder and CEO of GoodTherapy.org. This column and any other content on this website is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or psychotherapy. Always seek the advice of a licensed mental health practitioner without delay with questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition. Please never disregard professional advice because of something you have read on GoodTherapy.org.