I Don’t Like Kids. I Don’t Want Kids. What’s Wrong with Me?

Dear GoodTherapy.org,

Everyone I know goes bonkers when they see a kid under the age of, say, 6. “Oh, what a sweet-faced little angel!” they’ll say. All I see, meanwhile, is a snot-nosed germ factory and life/financial drain whose parents, in the prime of their lives, surrendered their freedom to raise.

I never say this out loud, of course. But sometimes my dislike of kids inevitably comes out, as when the unwanted questions about my own situation come along: “Any kids?” “Don’t you want to have children?” “When are you having kids?” Nope. I sure don’t. Never! People stare at me like I have three heads when I say I don’t like or want kids.

I’m getting to the age where most of my friends are having kids, and this makes me feel increasingly isolated. I can’t help that I don’t like kids (at least, I don’t think I can?), but I also sometimes find myself wondering if there’s something wrong with me for not liking/wanting children. Your thoughts on this would be welcomed. —No Kidding

Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist

Dear No Kidding,

I really appreciate this question. So many people struggle with this issue. Having children, like any other life decision, is not for everyone. Some people are certain they want to have children, others are certain they don’t want to have children, and still others are unsure. It sounds like you fall squarely in the category of being certain you do not want to have children. There is nothing wrong with you for making this decision.

Society seems to be at something of turning point on this issue. People of previous generations often got married and had children without giving it much thought, but rather because it was just “what you did.” These days, for many people, major life events—including marriage and having children—are not taken for granted, but rather thoughtful decisions based on the kind of lives they’d like to live. Still, there remain plenty of people who see these events as customary, desirable, traditional, or inevitable and therefore have no qualms about asking you when you are going to do them.

It sounds like you fall squarely in the category of being certain you do not want to have children. There is nothing wrong with you for making this decision.

I would imagine if you can do some work to get to a place where you accept this as a valid choice designed to give you the kind of life you are seeking, you may stop questioning what is “wrong” with you. You may feel more comfortable providing people with explanations when they inquire or, even better, you won’t feel a need to justify your choices. If you struggle to get to this place on your own, you might consider partnering with a therapist to help you explore this issue, come to terms with it, and decide how (or if) you want to talk about it with people.

Before closing, I’d like to end on a practical note. You mention feeling isolated as more and more of your friends begin to have children. People generally become friends with one another because of some commonalities or an experience that draws them together. This was probably the case for you and your friends when you met. As your friends move into parenthood, there can still be a place for you in their lives (and vice versa), but it may also be important for you to find some friends who are interested in the freedom a child-free life can provide.

Kind regards,

Sarah Noel, MS, LMHC

Sarah Noel, MS, LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist living and working in Brooklyn, New York. She specializes in working with people who are struggling through depression, anxiety, trauma, and major life transitions. She approaches her work from a person-centered perspective, always acknowledging the people she works with as experts on themselves. She is honored and humbled on a daily basis to be able to partner with people at such critical points in their unique journeys.
  • Leave a Comment
  • Tucker

    July 14th, 2017 at 10:42 AM

    I don’t think that there is anything wrong with you. Actually I think that you are quite smart to know that this is something that you don’t want in life.

    Do you know how many kids would probably be much happier had they not been brought into the homes where the parents really don’t want them in the first place

  • william

    July 15th, 2017 at 8:20 AM

    I always knew that I would want to have a big bustling house with tons of kids running around all the time and that is now what I have. My wife and I both agreed early on that this was what kind of home we wanted since we both came from bigger families and felt like this was the right move for us too. I don’t however think that you are strange or weird for not wanting kids. It all boils down to the things that you want in life and the things that you do not and a huge part of self awareness is knowing exactly what you want and the life you would like to lead. I do think though that it is important for you when you do commit to a relationship know that the person that you are with wants and feels the same things that you feel. Things can get pretty tricky really quickly if the two of you are not on the same page when it comes to something as important as that.

  • Renee Trimble, MS, LPC, LCDC

    July 16th, 2017 at 8:27 AM

    Dear No Kidding,
    I read this and so appreciated your honesty, insight and bravery of exploring/admitting your feelings. As a therapist, I would like to offer a few things for your consideration. First, there is nothing wrong with you. Please keep in mind that you thoughts, feelings and emotions are value neutral and they are authentic. Secondly, your strong feelings could be rooted in your own childhood. As a specialists in trauma, I often find these “strong emotions” about certain things have a relationship to something in the distant past that we have been through. I use an evidenced based therapy called “heart centered hypnotherapy” that help individuals find the root cause of many of their feelings, behaviors, and emotions. “Making a connection” often give my clients great satisfaction and even greater love of themselves. There is much more we could explore about your question, as my thought is a lot more people feel the same way, but are just afraid to admit it. Renee Trimble, Founder, Free Indeed Therapy, Houston, TX

  • Elle

    July 17th, 2017 at 10:47 AM

    It isn’t quite fair of others to put their own expectations of life onto you.
    It’s your life, live it the way that you want

  • isaac

    July 18th, 2017 at 11:27 AM

    You sound pretty smart to me. Now you just have to work on finding your own tribe of like minded folks, or either work on discovering just how you can fit into the lives of those friends who are starting to add children to the mix.

  • Chris

    July 18th, 2017 at 12:33 PM

    I used to feel the same way. Although you don’t say how old you are, I am guessing mid-20s, so there is time whether you end up feeling differently in the future or not! I was always annoyed by babies and little kids, and the worst was when people wanted you to hold their babies (as if you longed for that!) Although other people’s kids still do not thrill me, and I never offered to babysit for ANYONE, I did have two sons of my own, and I love them more than you can imagine. They are now 20 and 30 years old, and they are the only children I enjoyed being around. I just wanted to tell my story, so you can know that in the future if you consider the possibility, you will probably love your own kids more than you can imagine, but you don’t have to love ALL children! Best of luck to you whether you have kids or not! It’s your personal decision :)

  • Evilyn

    July 21st, 2017 at 5:58 AM

    Hi Chris. It sounds like you mean well, but it kind of invalidates the asker’s feelings on having children to say they might change their mind later on. It also gives the impression you feel you know them better than they do because you might be older. It can come off as very hurtful and condescending to someone in the asker’s position. I know plenty of parents who always wanted their own children despite not enjoying the company of others. I also know many childfree people who love children despite not wanting to raise any themselves. The two are not mutually exclusive. There is also the type of not liking children and not wanting them, which the asker seems to fall into.

    No one tells someone that wants children that they might change their mind about it with age. Their feelings and opinions on the topic are respected and usually not undermined, but childfree people are rarely given the same respect. It’s a double standard that doesn’t make sense and doesn’t need to be perpetuated any further.

    Also, not everyone bonds with their biological children. It’s rarely discussed, but it happens more often than people think. Offspring are people just like the rest of us, and we don’t all have compatible personalities that mesh well to guarantee a solid connection between us. I’m glad you felt differently about your sons than you did about other people’s children. It means they’re loved and well cared for, something many people often take for granted. But to assume the asker may change their tune with age is damaging. As others (and yourself) have said, it’s their decision.

  • Chris

    July 24th, 2017 at 7:37 AM

    I apologize to anyone my comment may have offended. It certainly was not my intention. I would remove the comment, but I don’t know how to do that.

  • Renee Trimble

    January 2nd, 2018 at 4:59 PM


    As a therapist, I thought your opinion was honest, personable and heart-felt. I loved that you shared your personal feelings. Thank you for that. And, I thought you made a lot of good points and sense.

  • rachel c.

    August 25th, 2017 at 5:04 AM

    In a world full of pointless, average, undeveloped boring humans (I mean kids) that their dumb parents think are the second coming, the only thing wrong with you is that you’re even asking what’s wrong with you. NOTHING is wrong with you! You see things as they are. Relax! Enjoy your life and freedom. Let the other deluded maternal, paternal morons screw their short lives and minds up with another useless noise polluting eater on this long-suffering planet. Accept yourself as you are. Was it Gandhi who said just because you’re in the minority does not mean you’re wrong. It just means there are a lot of imbeciles around right now.

  • Aide K

    September 4th, 2017 at 2:55 PM

    Youre so cool!

  • Sydney

    October 4th, 2017 at 2:04 PM

    I am 25 and I have known for a while that I don’t want kids. I’m fine with it, I don’t think it’s weird. There is no one size fits all life plan for each person. Kids annoy me greatly, they always have. I picture myself coming home to netflix, pajamas, and my dog. Not to loud kids with afterschool activities and homework who need food and baths and on and on. I’ve had people tell me I’ll change my mind or that I’m selfish. I say to them, the selfish thing would be to have kids when you really don’t want them. So don’t worry!

  • barry

    July 31st, 2023 at 3:11 PM

    I don’t like children although I fathered one when I was 18 and had a shotgun marriage which didn’t last as a result ,as I have grown old I dislike children generally because they tend to be badly behaved as they aren’t disciplined and their parents spoil them they have no boundaries and become even more obnoxious ,society is more and more geared for the little darlings and old people get neglected even though they created the wealth and society that they live in ,because of all the pampering there are more children with mental problems and behavioral issues than ever when I was a child there was not the focus on children you had to do as you were told and observe good manners something that doesn’t exist today. I know that there are nice children but I fear that they may be in the minority .

  • Cornicopia

    June 4th, 2018 at 7:58 PM

    I agree, I personally don’t think children are that great in my own opinion, their more a so “meh” at best and at worst a living nightmare (I’m talking about that type of child everyone knows who’s parents are sure not doing their job right). I’m 21 so I’m still enjoying the few years I have left before my relatives start asking those sorts of questions (my family is very religious and I’ve already came out as child-free {though I haven’t got around to the actual sterilization surgery yet though I’m thinking about talking to my sister who is medicine if she can get me some of the contact info for child-free friendly doctors who would be willing and qualified to do a hysteretomy with salpingectomy [basically I want all of the reproductive stuff scooped out and the sexual stuff to stay ask much as possible, like a spay} and I want them to put it (the uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes) in a plastic container fully preserved for the future so that way I can show my family, whether or not my siblings decide to have kids or not, it and put it on my shelf, and I’m kind of a butterfinger so I’ll probably drop it, so I want it to be safe. I think it goes without saying that I’m kind of weird too.} to my mom (it’s her 62nd birthday actually) and her boyfriend, which I’ll say did not go well, and I want her to realize that I am NOT going to give her grandchildren so that way she doesn’t get her heart broken. I might need to give her more time to accept it, I also came out as Childfree to my older sister and one of my older brothers (technically I did, but it was more of a thing that came up in conversation, I don’t know if that really counts, but yeah) and only my older sister (the one who is in the medical field) was supportive of my decisions (I’ll just say she is my favorite sibling, this reason is especially a reason why) she also accepted my Vegetarianism when my mom and her boyfriend were again reacting unfavorably. I come from a big family, (I have 3 older and 1 younger sibling as well as a crap ton of cousins, aunts, uncles, and distant relatives so I know my family genes won’t end with me) and if anyone calls you selfish for choosing what to do with your own body ask them if they took in a starving neglected abused trafficked child from Africa, or an underprivilaged child from a Siberian orphanage, or a child from the foster system, or a starving, weak Indian child (they are definitely dealing with an overpopulation problem there), or a stray animal, or anything, and what makes you so selfish for choosing not to breed a child like them when they could adopt an underprivileged child instead. That’s something I’d want to say if I were you. From a woman on the same path as you. Best of luck getting sterilized.

  • Angie

    June 18th, 2018 at 1:58 PM

    I never liked children and never wanted them. I am 46 and quite happy with my choice. There is no shortage of people on the planet so there is no reason to have children just because everyone else does. People used to say to me, “Well, if you had some you’d love them.” True, maybe I would, but you wouldn’t tell someone who hates dogs to get a dog, would you? Be firm. There are many just like you out there.

  • Alexa

    May 5th, 2019 at 12:57 PM

    I try to be that person who just blends in the background to go about her own day, but of course no matter how hard I try to keep quiet I always get nosy people bombarding me at work or family members asking me “When are you going to have children?” As an asexual person who is completely uninterested in sex or relationships, I’ve heard every single saying out there that many of you child free ladies have also heard. I’m 27 now, so this becomes more and more common as the days pass, and I treasure the days when I can hide in my house away from society.
    1. Oh, you won’t be asexual anymore when you meet “the one”. Then your entire life will change. (from my mother. She’s not upset with the fact that I’m asexual, she just doesn’t believe me. Even though I’ve never introduced her to a male or female partner as I have never had one). Please note that my mother isn’t unaccepting nor does she ignore me based on this, she just doesn’t believe I will always be this way. But I know in my heart I can’t stand the thought of being in a committed relationship or having sex with someone every night just to make them happy when I know I won’t want to. Sex sounds like a chore for me, honestly. No, I don’t want to try it to see if I will feel differently. That is a topic for another post as I have a fear that even if I have protected sex that I will probably still get pregnant.
    2. “You’re selfish” and “You’ll change your mind”. Coming from my grandmother. She also told me that one of my family friends wouldn’t amount to anything because she wouldn’t keep her boyfriend’s baby if she got pregnant. And she absolutely assumes that she will get pregnant in time. Also, would you tell someone who is pregnant or wants children that they will change their mind on wanting to be a parent when the baby gets here? On the final note on my grandmother, my mom told me in private that she wasn’t the best mother to her growing up, anyways.
    3. “You’ll miss out”. My response: “You can’t miss out on something that you’ve never wanted nor cared for.”
    4. “It WILL happen to you. TRUST me.” From a co-worker. She claimed she used to be in my position of never wanting children until she met her husband. I just don’t have the energy to want to deal with these people and I find ignoring their statements pisses them off and engaging in conversation or defending my position just gives them more opportunities to prove how right they are. So I just choose to piss them off by staying quiet and shrugging my shoulders, not showing any emotion at all. Feel free to use this tip from me the next time someone bothers you with this question. Perhaps we can team up and change the world ;)
    5. “You’ll never know what will happen in the future.” From my father. I told him that I infact do know what I want for my future, and it doesn’t involve giving up the star role of my own life to be the supporting role to some child who will probably never understand all the things I had to give up for them, combined with the possibility of just plain hating me. Well, the feeling would be mutual.

    In all honesty, I don’t think I could ever love a child who completely detests me. Yes, even if it were my own child. I would just get completely frustrated and in the end probably turn to drugs so I can forget about my life and ask where it all went wrong. So, if anyone on here is rolling my eyes at my opinion please remember all of my points the next time you undermine a child – free persons opinion.

    Sorry for the long post. I’m just so grateful that so many other ladies out there feel the same way and validate each other’s choices not to reproduce.

  • Michelle

    October 23rd, 2019 at 6:18 PM

    I don’t like kids I never have, I find myself cringing a little around them and avoid inviting friends over who have practically noisy annoying ones. I did let one friendship slid due to her particularly horrible two girls. I actually do have one of my own, he is now in his 30’s and I have a grandchild, I have a good relationship with my son we are good friends, I was and am a young mum, but we are better as friends than the traditional parent relationship ,I still don’t like kids. I’m house proud, love design and pride myself on my beautiful home, those things don’t go hand in hand with kids. My partner has shared custody of his daughter, while we get on fine, I have no real feelings for her and generally I’m inwardly just tolerating her. We have a large home with two levels and 2 living areas which is how I manage to survive when it’s our week with her. My point is if you’re young and you hate kids you probably won’t change with age, I didn’t and you don’t have to :)

  • Evan

    November 7th, 2019 at 12:26 PM

    I came online to lookup “why am I a bad person because I dislike children” which brought me here and felt a lot better after reading your story, Sarah’s response and everyone else’s comments. I have never once come out and said to anyone, “I hate children” or “I hate your children” but I was centered out in a group once (as a gay married male) asking WHEN we plan to adopt or other means of having children and I politely said, “Children are not for me” and suddenly was outed as a monster and told I was a terrible person. This confused me for years and since I am asked this question on a very regular basis, I changed my response after that evening to, “Ohhh, I prefer cats” and this seems to be a lighter, more fun response and I also try to change to conversation right away. I’d like to thank everyone for their kind responses that helped me feel less of a monster.

  • Makers

    January 7th, 2020 at 1:41 PM

    Simple solution. No one outside of a potential committed partner is entitled to any explanation. Period. Not relatives, not friends, not co-workers. Nobody. The simplest response is, “That’s a personal question, and I won’t discuss it.” If they persist, walk away. And if *that* doesn’t solve the problem, then there are more issues in play than the lack of desire for children.

  • Joni

    October 16th, 2020 at 8:32 AM

    Great question & great answer…here’s to all of us that are childless by choice!

  • MaryElise

    December 2nd, 2020 at 5:51 PM

    I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have always known that I was not going to want to have children. Yet, everyone, whenever I have told anyone this, they have always told me that I would regret not having children. To most people, both men and women, people are just supposed to have children, because that’s what you do, whether you want to or not. Women, in particular, are herded into the role of motherhood. I am now 50 years old and I have never had any regrets regarding having children. I’m happy and have a fulfilling life. I’m not selfish. I don’t hate children. I’m happily married. I no longer feel the need to justify my life choices to others. I don’t ask those who have children to justify theirs. My best advice for anyone who really is unwilling and uninterested in having children is to make sure your future spouse knows and agrees with you before you commit to a lifetime of marriage. Don’t wait until after you’ve been married a few years to bring up such an important issue.

  • Claire

    January 14th, 2021 at 2:16 AM

    I literally love you all. After googling ‘why do I hate kids’, I landed on this page full of lovely like-minded people! It certainly makes you feel weird and different for having such an aversion to children. I’ve disliked them for as long as I can remember, I can’t think of a worse pathway to go down! They’re noisy, dirty, messy….. Studies have actually shown that people who don’t have kids are much happier than people who do (strains relationships, finances, etc.). At least this is a bit of reassurance when you feel like the odd one out! I much prefer dogs, Netflix, pajamas (I’m with you on these Sydney), nice holidays, nice cars and a SUPER tidy house! Oh and not having to mingle with other parents making enthralling small talk.

  • MakersDozn

    January 15th, 2021 at 4:17 PM

    To clarify, I don’t hate kids. I just don’t want them. In any event, yes, it should be an individual decision.

  • brett

    May 13th, 2021 at 2:53 PM

    children are a pernicious disease. hate doesn’t capture the sentiment strong enough.

  • Anonymous

    June 11th, 2021 at 8:07 PM

    I grew up in a very unstable and stressful home environment with a parent who was an alcoholic / prescription drug abuser. Growing up in this environment made me a “nervous wreck” through my childhood, teenager and young adult years. Even now, I still struggle. I am 48 years old. I spent much of my adulthood trying to figure out how to deal with my own anxieties, etc. The thought of having children seemed too much. I never met a partner who was interested in children, either, and too be honest, I never had much interest in kids. I have never been one to “coo” over babies either. For some reason, they just don’t interest me. I much prefer puppies, kittens and other baby animals. Finally, if anyone ever asks me why I don’t have children, I say, “That’s a complicated question. Perhaps we can meet over a coffee one day, and I can explain a little bit about my life history.” To give a one sentence answer to such a complicated question doesn’t work for me! Anyhow, I feel as though I can relate to much of what the people are saying here. Very good points.

  • MaryElise

    June 14th, 2021 at 8:44 AM

    My mother chose to have children but ended up resenting being a mother to the point that she was always miserable, angry, and emotionally abusive. She always told me she wished I had never been born, I ruined her life by being born, her life was so much better before kids, etc. While I don’t believe children were the only thing in her life that caused her to be such an unhappy, friendless, miserable life-sucking individual, her attitude toward motherhood did have an impact on my decision on whether to have children of my own.

  • Fouzia

    July 14th, 2021 at 11:48 PM

    I have a child but sometimes I get frustrated with his naughtiness. And got angry on him, then I realized it is not good for him. If every time I get angry on him he also grown up an angry man. Even I can’t control my anger. I’m a working woman also my husband won’t take part with me in any domestic work. Sometime I feel that I get overloaded with lots of work. He also not listen my complains and get silent.

  • grom

    October 6th, 2021 at 5:52 PM

    Don’t have kids

  • lajo

    October 18th, 2021 at 4:01 AM

    Nothing wrong with not wanting children. I’ve had people ask me what else I’m I going to do or was told I’m selfish. I am extremely introverted, therefore I like my freedom, alone time, and silence. Also you see what children do to relationships and to a woman’s mental compacity. Bottom line women were not put on this earth to solely give birth. JESUS was a single virgin, that died for me!

  • Amen No Kidding

    October 24th, 2021 at 1:50 PM

    I too never wanted children, but caved. Worst mistake of my life. They turned out fine and are grown an gone now, but wow what a terrible waste of my best years. I was told by so many that I will be happy with kids “in time”. Never was. I did “my duty” very well, but secretly disliked every minute of it. I, of course, never let the kids know, it is not their fault they were born, it is mine for cave-ing. I truly envy couples that never had kids and feel like a fool and a coward for not standing my ground. Please don’t cave! Stay strong!

  • Bex

    November 3rd, 2021 at 11:45 AM

    4 years on later, this comment still resonates. I hope that No Kidding is doing well. I don’t know if they are male or female, but I do know that pressures regarding the wanting (or not) of children are especially focused on women. You are “not normal” if you don’t want kids – in people’s minds that generally means emotionally-stunted and/or selfish. My coping mechanisms were to surround myself with childfree friends and to respond to the nosey “whys” with a wry “I don’t hate kids, I hate parents” (true!). I’m 43 now and in my life am proudest of the fact that I never had children. That I knew and trusted myself enough to set that boundary and stick to it. I do greater good in the world through my career in the environmental sciences and my relationships with others (which I have time and energy for, not having children). True, there was a time when I could see myself caving, but thank goodness my partner and I were always on the same page.

  • cheryl

    January 31st, 2022 at 7:38 AM

    I don’t want kids now. I am 35 years old. I was just wondering if I will regret it in the future when I cannot. Can anyone who is 60 years and above tell me if you are happy being child-free?

  • Anonymous

    January 31st, 2022 at 1:52 PM

    I’m almost 50 years old and don’t have children. The only regret I have about not having children is that I fear being alone and lonely in old age. It’s such a fear, in fact, that I pray to pass away before I reach old age.

  • MakersDozn

    February 9th, 2022 at 10:56 PM

    I just turned 60. At age 10 I resolved to never marry or have children. I’m still convinced that this is the best thing that I’ve ever done for my own well-being, and for the well-being of any children whose lives would have been ruined by having me as a parent. I broke the cycle.

  • Susan

    May 2nd, 2022 at 11:20 PM

    I’m 67, female, recently widowed and never in my entire life did I want kids. Not at all sorry that I’m childfree. Cleaning dirty bottoms and mopping up vomit was not something I desired. Not everybody’s life has to be the same and I’ve never understood why people hurl the word selfish at those that chose not to have children,

  • Becky

    May 4th, 2022 at 12:56 PM

    It’s nice to hear about seniors who don’t regret having children. So refreshing and encouraging to hear this. It would be nice to know what some people say or do when others make rude or hurtful comments about them not having children. I always like to say that it’s complicated and that I can’t give a quick answer to such a question.

  • Zazu

    May 20th, 2022 at 7:49 PM

    I am 38 and I don’t want or like Children. Babies are nice though. I love my two wee Nephews to bits. But that is it.

  • Kitcatt

    June 6th, 2022 at 10:23 PM

    I am 70 years old, long married, and never wanted children. I don’t regret my decision at all. I never really wanted children, never particularly liked them, and I’ve been quite happy and content doing my own thing all these years. I think having (or not having) children is a personal choice and no one is wrong to have them – or not have them. It’s like a lot of things in this life. I never wanted to swim the English Channel or climb Mt. Everest; thus I didn’t do either and have no regrets about it. Same with having children. Didn’t want to, didn’t do it, and have no regrets. End of story.

  • kio

    July 19th, 2022 at 1:12 AM

    trans guy here 36 year old who knew they never wanted kids. regardless of gender either. mental illness and depression runs in my family anyway. don’t want to pass my disgusting genes to another human anyway. child free all the way

  • Anonymous

    July 19th, 2022 at 8:05 PM

    I can relate to you.. I’m not transgender, but I grew up in an unstable home with a very mentally troubled mother. Because of my poor upbringing, I just never could imagine bringing up a child in this world.

  • quantum

    August 17th, 2022 at 11:51 AM

    There’s nothing wrong with you! I also hate babies and little kids, and I never understood how they can be cute!? When I travel, I always search place for adults only, when I am at beach, I try to find my spot with no kids around. Children are annoying, hysterical and ugliest creatures. By the way, I have four beautiful dogs

  • Anonymous

    August 17th, 2022 at 9:01 PM

    I don’t feel like an alien anymore knowing that other people don’t like being around little kids or babies! I’d much rather be around animals.

  • Childfree by choice

    November 4th, 2022 at 5:57 AM

    So many nice comments here! I’m not going to beat around the bush, the truth is that I hate babies, toddlers and little kids under about 6-7 years of age. I have emetophobia and a thing about dirt and germs so I have a great aversion to young children. There’s a family party tomorrow and I’m not going because there’ll be 4 kids under 7 and the mere thought of having to interact with them, having to be near them or their accidentally touching me or my coat/bag makes me want to scream. Plus what could I talk about with relatives? Enduring their over-the-line questioning about having kids which I never wanted? No thanks. It’s hot tea, cats, music and a movie day for me tomorrow, away from the germ bags. And yes, I know for a fact that at least 3 of them is ill right now yet they’ll be brought to the gathering to spread their germs to everyone.

  • kio

    November 8th, 2022 at 11:51 PM

    to the latest commenter I feel you. just yesterday as I was at walmart at the deli section picking out some cheese and ham, a very loyd and obnoxious kid was screaming bloody murder non stop. the dad of coarse did nothing about it and let the brat scream. the two ladies that were left and right of me stared at me as I gave a face of disgust and and loud UGH. but I didn’t care i wanted them to know my disgust of kids. everytime I see these kids throwing their demonic sounding tantrums it just makes me 100000000000000 times more glad I will never have to deal with that nonsense

  • Anonymous

    November 20th, 2022 at 2:27 PM

    Me too!! I can relate. When I see a child screaming/complaining in a department store, I think that I’m so glad that I don’t have to deal with that.

  • Sarah

    August 1st, 2023 at 9:59 AM

    My own mother has told me multiple times that she is upset/mad with me NOT having children. My younger brother has 1 child and they live in a diff state, and she feels like she’s missed out b/c he’s too far away and not like just down the road like I am. I don’t have any kids. So she’s upset b/c of the situation it’s left her in. She has been up to see him a handful of times, but still is upset and feels “gyped”. She always has had my dad’s half children’s kids over and “plays Grandma” for them, but to her, it just isn’t the same bc it’s not my blood or my brother is too far away. I’ve never met my nephew yet due to career changes, then pandemic, now- I just don’t want to leave my husband who has seizures, behind alone & he can’t travel with me. It HURTS that she feels this way, but I cannot fix it for her and that hurts my feelings. I’ve had my mind made up on being CF since I was 15 1/2 years old. I kind of thought that I’d change my mind when I got in my 30’s, but nah. I’m loving living my life for me and my husband and we are super happy in our decision, except when we feel hatred from loved ones who just don’t care what we truly want.

  • Edvard

    August 25th, 2023 at 5:27 PM

    As I type, I am 46 years old. I can hear dozens of voices in my memory of well-meaning southern grandmothers telling me that I would one day feel differently about kids and having kids. I would contact some of them now just to tell them they had always been wrong, but most of them died of old age.
    Every single one of those people were wrong.
    Sometimes the “crap” a 12 year old says is real. Some kids know their mind already.

Leave a Comment

By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org's Terms and Conditions of Use.


* Indicates required field.

GoodTherapy uses cookies to personalize content and ads to provide better services for our users and to analyze our traffic. By continuing to use this site you consent to our cookies.