10 Things You Might Not Know about Bisexuality

An abstract cloudscape with pink bokeh effects.I recently agreed to do part of an online course in LGBT studies. I’m doing the “B”: bisexuality. They had a hard time finding someone to do it; no one thought they could fill the time with enough info on the subject! After all, we still live in a world where a lot of people think there is “no such thing” as bisexuality.

The more I dig, the more I feel that understanding bisexuality is the key to understanding a LOT of things about sexual orientation, behavior, attractions, and gender itself. Here are 10 things I’ve learned so far:

  1. There are more bisexual people than gay and lesbian people. That’s right. Not only does bisexuality exist, those who self-label as bi outnumber those who identify as gay or lesbian. A 2011 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 3.1% of respondents in a national survey said they were bi and only 2.5% lesbian or gay. Other studies have found similar results.
  2. Younger people embrace the identity more than older people. Lisa Diamond and Ritch Savin-Williams’ research shows that people under 40, and especially those under 30, think it’s no big deal to acknowledge attractions to both men and women. But then again, young people tend to think marriage equality is a no-brainer, too.
  3. Women may be more bisexual than men—or they just accept it more. About 15 years ago, Meredith Chivers did lab research showing that women—regardless of their sexual identity—respond more to bisexual erotica than men. And recent analyses of national youth surveys by Nanette Gartrell show about 15% of adolescent girls have had a same-sex experience, not just attractions.
  4. But men may be catching up. Savin-Williams is doing research on “mostly heterosexual” men—those with a little bit of same-sex attraction and behavior. There are a LOT of them. And Diamond, once an advocate of the position that women were more bisexual and fluid than men, recently published a paper called “I Was Wrong—Men Are Pretty Darn Fluid Too.”
  5. Bisexuals threaten heterosexuals because they “blur the line.” In case you haven’t noticed, many heterosexuals still fear and reject gay people. They want to distance from same-sex attraction in every way. If the world is divided neatly into two “camps”—those who are 100% heterosexual and those 100% gay—that’s easy. But if there is a third group, people who are attracted to both men and women, it’s harder to draw the line and make that separation.
  6. Bisexuals threaten gay people because they represent the ability to hide behind “heterosexual privilege.” Lesbians and gay men often fear they cannot compete with heterosexual privilege in a relationship, and many suspect that anyone who self-labels as “bisexual” will eventually find the lure of a “normal” life too tempting. Some see bisexuals as potential traitors—and heartbreakers.
  7. This double “biphobia” leaves bisexuals without a community. The “B” in LGBT is only grudgingly accepted. Bisexuals would normally seek solace from their “queer” tribe—but there is sometimes only marginal acceptance by the tribe.
  8. There is a tremendous pressure to “lie” if you are bisexual. Only 23% of self-identified bisexuals tell others. It’s easier to just let people assume that if you are with an opposite-sex partner you are straight and if you are with a same sex partner you are gay.
  9. This leads to “bi-invisibility.” “Biphobia” is the irrational fear of bisexuality. “Bi-invisibility” is the denial that bisexuals exist and being blind to the existence of bisexuality. Until recently, this was argued in the scientific literature about bisexuality, and it is the most common public misconception about bisexuality. But bisexuals themselves may unwittingly help to maintain bi-invisibility by not “coming out.” After all, arguably the single most important thing that advanced gay rights in the past 40 years was gays and lesbians becoming more public.
  10. Bi-invisibility is also maintained by “bi-erasure.” Bi-erasure is the cultural tendency to refuse to acknowledge bisexuals even when they proclaim their bisexuality. How many people think Rock Hudson gay and Marlon Brando straight? Both talked openly about attractions and sexual experiences with men as well as women. Larry King’s fumbling interview of Anna Paquin is not unusual. For reasons that mystify, many people have such a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea that someone could be attracted to both genders—or that gender might not matter—that they just erase the possibility from their worlds!

© Copyright 2014 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

  • 43 comments
  • Leave a Comment
  • Randee

    Randee

    August 14th, 2014 at 5:38 PM

    This is definitely a new lifestyle that I think is embraced more by younger generations than the older.
    It was bad enough when I was younger (not that I feel this way now, I am just speaking from past experience!) to admit that you were gay. But bisexual? Well that’s just not something that you ever heard anyone reference!
    I am glad overall that those who are not hetero feel more at ease with living out their lives more freely than they once may have been encouraged to do.
    There is still work to be done but I think that things are at least getting a little better.

  • Zane t

    Zane t

    August 15th, 2014 at 9:46 AM

    Why should I at all feel threatened because of something that is not for me? I could be curious, I could have questioned, but threatened is not the state of mind where I should be.

    I want to learn from others, be kind to others, not judge them for the things I don’t understand.

  • Tawny

    Tawny

    August 15th, 2014 at 10:51 AM

    This is all still so unfamiliar to me.

    I wnat to be accepting of all but there is still something about differences in human sexuality that confuse me and sometimes leave me with more questions than what I have the answers for.

  • Czaba

    Czaba

    October 6th, 2018 at 4:02 AM

    Just keep on wondering, and take your time………. No hurry to find it all out.

  • stressmom

    stressmom

    August 16th, 2014 at 10:52 AM

    Does anyone have any pointers as to how to best talk to their kids about this subject? Or is it something that I should probably just let them come to me with on their own and then try to be as honest as I can about what I know about it? I want to share info with my children and have them be well informed but at the same time I don’t want to give them information that they might not be ready to handle yet.

  • Tina c.

    Tina c.

    August 16th, 2014 at 4:12 PM

    Sometimes I wonder whether this is a new thing that is just mroe prevalent today, or was it something that has always been there and no one was comfortable with sharing.
    I never knew anyone who was gay, or I guess that I should say openly gay, until I was an adult. Now my kids have at least two or so friends each who openly identify as homosexual and while I am fine with that, they are great kids, it seems so much more open and honest today that it was when I was a teenager. I only worry that this is a pretty big decision to make at such a young age, and is that really such a good thing for kids who are so young.
    I suppose that if they know what their preferences are then they know, no matter the age. It just feels like the material is so big that it could be hard for them to handle this early in life.

  • Steve M

    Steve M

    September 10th, 2019 at 5:35 PM

    It’s not a decision, it’s a revelation. Alsi, it is incredibly demeaning to assume that they can’t make their own decisions. I knew the woman I would marry at age 14. We got married just before I turned 19, we’ve been married over 11 years despite my cancer diagnosis and intractable pain. She married a pre-med student and she stuck around when things got bad. Do you know how rare this is? In your teens, you have the clarity to see things clearly, before the world beats your down and clouds your judgement and vision. None of the people who waited to marry in my support group until their late 20s or longer had their spouses stick around.

    Even if these kids discover that they weren’t right about the specific label (especially regarding bisexuality), what harm is done?

  • tracey

    tracey

    August 18th, 2014 at 5:14 AM

    I am not sure that I buy the whole idea that women are more bisexual than men. Now they may be more apt or willing I guess I should say to express this openly but I don’t think that there would be that much differential on the numbers who are and are not.

  • Gina C.

    Gina C.

    August 18th, 2014 at 6:25 AM

    @ Tina C. and any others interested,
    You wrote wondering ” whether this is a new thing that is just more prevalent today, or was it something that has always been there and no one was comfortable with sharing”. I think it’s the latter. All different types of sexuality has been present throughout history, but I think people, including younger and younger teens and kids, have more of an outlet to learn about themselves on line and know that they are not alone. As far as younger people making such a big DECISION at such a young age, please keep in mind that it’s as much of a “decision” that your kids happen to be attracted to the opposite sex. As far as talking to your kids about sexuality, I think it can be really simplified. Some boys are attracted to girls and some boys are attracted to boys; likewise some girls are attracted to boys and some are attracted to girls. Also, some people are attracted to both sexes. Some people may label themselves early on and some may not. Sometimes it just boils down to one person being attracted to another person. Hope that helped!

  • Gina C.

    Gina C.

    August 18th, 2014 at 6:42 AM

    As far as “coming out” (telling people), you’re right that it could be hard for them to handle this early in life. I don’t know how old the kids you know are, but many kids know very early on, sometimes even 5 and younger (think of when your own kids started having “crushes”) I was a late-bloomer and didn’t really start to figure it out until I was almost 19. My hope for the young kids and teens is that they have some supportive people in their lives that will accept them “no matter what”. With a good support system in place, it will be a little easier for them to be who they are.

  • Liz

    Liz

    October 29th, 2014 at 2:22 AM

    I had my first (and only) relationship with a woman at the grand old age of 40. We’re now married and have twins. Although friends and family were a little surprised at first, they most of them were great. I wasn’t treated any differently.

    Interestingly, it was my relationship with my gay friends (male and female alike) which changed. One gay friend stopped talking to me altogether. Now, 4 years later it’s not an issue for anyone other than my wife who isn’t bisexual and who still feels insecure about my bisexuality.

  • Em

    Em

    November 8th, 2014 at 7:43 PM

    I only recently figured out my sexuality as being bisexual. I guess the way I knew was a little weird, but when I was trying to convince myself I was straight, I had a lot of stress and HomoOCD (Homosexual OCD; It basically means you’re afraid to be gay.) When I started to wonder if I was bisexual, it just felt right. I didn’t have any more stress or HomoOCD. Now that I’ve come out to my friends, I constantly think about my decision, and I almost feel like I’m re-convincing myself. I guess I will never know until I have a relationship with a girl.

  • Mae

    Mae

    June 22nd, 2015 at 7:27 PM

    wow. i never thought someone could be in nearly the same situation as me. to tell the truth, i thought i was nothing but a outlier in the course of life…i’m fifteen, and, well, i just found out i was bisexual a few months ago, and used to be HomoOCD, too…mostly because i thought, and still kinda think ( i haven’t came out of the closet yet.) that my family might never think about me the same way ever again, if you know what i mean…well, i could make this a lot longer, but i’ll spare you all a painful death…baii… :3

  • JP

    JP

    July 9th, 2015 at 6:01 PM

    I’m a guy, but I went through exactly the same experience. It was when I was in a relationship with my ex girlfriend that suppressed feelings about my sexuality began to affect my life. I couldnt hide from the fact I wasnt 100pc straight. In the end, i was so anxious i developed HOCD, wondering if I was a suppressed homosexual, living a lie etc. One day, I looked in the mirror and said to myself “you’re bisexual” and maaaan, the sense of relief was intense and i just smiled. Even now, a year on i still worry and question myself, making poor decisions and tracking myself into thinking more ‘straight’. But at least now I can smile.

    The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. “Bi” is still someone else’s label. Explore what it means for you.

    Much love

  • Manic C.

    Manic C.

    July 8th, 2017 at 1:40 PM

    I think its about time we put to rest that old rumor that there’s no bisexual people walking around this Planet yo.
    Yup…
    Im bisexual. It doesn’t hurt. (Okay maybe sometimes) It’s free. It’s fun and it can even be therapeutic!! (Or maybe its just me)
    Well whatever the fear is sprouting from, let me be one who can assure you that its REAL and its natural. Perhaps not as NORMAL as you’d like it to be but its ‘outcheh’.
    Not lets put down the hate a pick up the coffee and sniff it. Its 2017 people! So we as a people make it how awesome or lack-luster thereof it will be.

    Sincerely: My name’s not Manic.

  • Tess

    Tess

    December 1st, 2014 at 3:51 AM

    My country makes it difficult for us to live, I had my first relationship wit a woman when I was 18 and although I had guys afterwards but been wit men didn’t really suit me, I always felt there was a part of me missing. I decided then and there I was Bisexual, but since then its difficult to live with, my friends family I love abandon me. In my country its not legal and we live in fear cos of what migh happen to us. I have this wonderful I love and she loves me back but we so scared of even living together, we separately and meet in hiding. I really wish we could be together. Wish people could understand us.

  • Tammy

    Tammy

    September 10th, 2017 at 5:14 PM

    That’s so sad. I’m so sorry you have to live in fear like that. Move here to America. :)

  • Lisa

    Lisa

    December 18th, 2014 at 4:38 PM

    I have been in thearapy for the past 3 years for stress and anxiety and many stressful feelings I’ve been pushing down are resurfacing so I have to deal with them finally. I realized that I’d been attracted to people of the same sex, and of my 4 boyfriends (i’m in my early 30s), I’ve only been really attracted to one. The others were good friends and our love life was not good. I’d also always been very possesive of my best friends that were girls. Especially one or two in particular. If my town didn’t have so many hate crimes when I was a teen and if bisexuality, or even homosexuality, wasn’t so taboo in our town, I might have realized what I was going through. But instead I thought I just didn’t fit in and was weird. Now I’m slightly confused, but at least I know now I’m attracted to the same sex and I can have more confidence speaking to people. As for the future, well that is still scary to me. I know I’m attracted to both sexes, but romantically I think I prefer girls. But since I’ve lived a straight life, and still am, for so long, I don’t know if a girl would ever love me. The bigger problem would be my life changing and those around me getting hurt. So i will just take it slow and see where this new found revelation fits into my life. I want to be true to myself and I want to be around people who love me for me, not for who they want me to be.

  • Challais

    Challais

    January 4th, 2015 at 9:53 AM

    Thank you for your words….you couldn’t have explained my life any better :)

  • mark

    mark

    February 1st, 2015 at 7:44 PM

    I think it should be about honesty. If you’re in a committed relationship, why use someone as a cover? I would not be a beard in a relationship. I would be there for friends. If you’re married and using your wife as such, you’re only hurting someone you claim to love, and are you putting your significant others health at risk. Just be authentic.

  • Natalie

    Natalie

    March 8th, 2015 at 8:09 PM

    I am 42 now and have identified outwardly as bisexual since I was 18. Before that I secretly had ‘experimenting’ sexual encounters with girls before I hit puberty and with boys after puberty.
    From my 20’s on, I fluidly dated both genders, I would say it doesn’t matter what body a loving person that a connection exists between comes in, boy or girl, because making love and being loved both fulfill your desires because it is the inner person that you are in love with.
    I have recently and I am for the first time open to term “pan-sexually” as an identification. Within the recent several months I have met and am presently in love with a transgender female to male. He the most caring and soul piercing person I have ever met. A beautiful female formerly, now a beautiful male in physical form; is both in mind, and spirit very balanced as beautiful and integrated soul. I feel enlightened and blessed to have this person recognize and see the duality in me as a woman, just as I see and love the beautiful balance of duality within him.

  • Katy

    Katy

    March 16th, 2015 at 5:29 AM

    hey I’ve recently became aware of my feelings and noticed I’m bisexual. But I’m really worried about ‘coming out’ because I feel like people will judge me for it. If anyone has any advice I would be really appreciative to receive it.

  • Alice

    Alice

    April 28th, 2015 at 3:52 AM

    A lot of bisexuals also find that connecting with the bisexual community helps in dealing with biphobia and bi-invisibility. There are newsletters like Bi Community News and events like BiCon, which is in Britain but attracts bisexuals from all over the world.

  • Negomi

    Negomi

    May 2nd, 2015 at 4:35 PM

    But when you’re young, how do you really know if you are bisexual or just “going through a phase” as many like to put it. Is there really such thing as going through a phase? This is a question that I haven’t really been able to find an answer for, so if anyone could help I would be grateful.

  • Maren

    Maren

    August 21st, 2015 at 7:06 PM

    I’ve seen some articles talking about this, and what I’ve pulled from them is that sexuality is pretty fluid, so if you’re young and identify as bisexual, and then later feel that you identify better as gay, straight, pansexual, polysexual, or any other sexuality, then that is what you are. Also, even if someone doesn’t believe you or says you can only have one sexuality, whatever you feel most comfortable identifying as is what you are. Hope this helps!

  • Anne

    Anne

    May 7th, 2015 at 6:29 AM

    I’m 43 and the last three years I have been asked out by more women than men, there are times I feel embarrassed other times I feel confused as I have thought of myself as being straight now I’m not sure. there’s a part of me wondering who I am. I tried talking to family and friends but all they say is that these women might be seeing something in me that I’m not willing to see for myself. This has left me confused about my sexuality any advice please

  • nicole

    nicole

    August 13th, 2015 at 9:00 PM

    i am 14 years old and i am bisexual. i cant tell anyone because im afraid of being judged by those who care about me. if people really care then they wouldn`t judge you. they should love you unconditionally for who you are. when im 18 i won`t have to worry about disappointing my parents because i want nothing to do with them because they are always making fun of me. i hope its easier for others to come out.

  • Alex

    Alex

    August 19th, 2015 at 5:18 PM

    If you’re friends are really good friends they will accept you my friend was a serious Christian and hated gay and bisexual people but when I told him he realised how wrong he was to think that. And if ur parents make fun of you,you need to tell someone because that’s not right

  • Rose1234

    Rose1234

    October 8th, 2015 at 5:17 PM

    I know how you feel, my sister knows and I’ve been confused and denying it for a year now but I couldn’t any more. I’m bisexual and I’m happy and sad. Like my mom doesnt want us to be gay or bisexual only straight and I don’t know how to tell her becuase I know I’ll have to one day if I get married with a girl. Im a non frightened girl and I’m frightened to tell only two people know and that’s my bisexual best friend (guy) and my sister. It’s normal to be afraid.

  • Liza

    Liza

    May 25th, 2016 at 8:46 PM

    I know at age 14 you hate your parents and “they always make fun of you”. The truth is you need to grow aside thicker skin. Cuz at 14 you feel like everybody hates you and you just want to get away. But when you get older you will realize how much you love and need them. I have not meet you out your parents personally So I don’t know how it Is for you. From experience i can tell you, it’s not as bad as you think it is right now. And as far as identifying as bi and feeling confident in that good for you. Don’t be afraid to come out, maybe just bring home a person of the same sex and tell them you’re dating. Anyway how things workout and my advice helped gain some perspective.

  • Jonathan B

    Jonathan B

    August 31st, 2015 at 3:26 AM

    Great post, with some interesting points. Thanks for posting this.

  • matt

    matt

    September 19th, 2015 at 5:44 AM

    Hi, so I’m 16, and I’ve always thought of myself as a straight guy, but recently i was talking to a good online friend who is gay, and I think I might be bisexual. The evidence seems to strongly point towards it, but its still very confusing internally. Like sorry for going into too much detail so turn back now if you get grossed out by sexual or porn talk. So I mostly watch stuff like anime and hentai(drawn Japanese porn comic things) and furry porn(similar to hentai but the people have some animal features like maybe animal ears or tails or some fur). And yea I know its a bit weird sounding but my online gay friend and most of my other friends online also look at the same stuff(we all know each other from an online competitive gaming community). So basically, with that stuff, when scrolling through the pictures its roughly equally guys and girls, but I’ve noticed myself like paying attention to the guys more and like masturbating to that. And I was just like making the excuse and lying to myself by saying I was just imagining myself in their position, but its hard to make that excuse with a picture of multiple guys having sex. Also there’s other things like I feel like in the past I’ve just tried to block out and ignore my attraction towards men. Being attracted to girls made it much easier to try and ignore my attraction to guys, because I could just tell myself I was straight. And like when I think back there’s more examples of this, like being awkward and shy around hot guys, and when like play fighting with friends when we’re like climbing ontop of each other, and if its like a safe place and I was happy and relaxed, I’ve gotten like semis or boners, but just assumed it was normal and ignored it. Btw when I say friends it was only guys in the house. But like I haven’t told anyone at all except this one online gay friend. It’s nice cos he understands the confusion and everything, cos he noticed himself paying more attention to guys in porn and that’s how he realised he was gay. But like our society accepts straight or gay people, but for bisexuals its seen as “just a phase” or “they’re just kidding themselves, they’re really just gay” and like I sort of believed those stereotypes. So like my gay online friend was a great help, but I just wanted to hear the advice or opinions of someone bisexual. Like I’m still reeling from this and I’m still confused about whether I’m straight or bisexual. I think if I’m bisexual I probably have a preference for women.

  • Justin G

    Justin G

    September 28th, 2015 at 10:42 PM

    Hi. I am very nervous about writing this but I need some advice please. First of all, I am in my early 40’s and have 3 children. I was with their mum (my ex wife) for 20 years. I thought I had it all! However, what I have noticed and realized is that my persona as a male is secretly changing on the inside of my mind! After becoming divorced from my children’s mother, I married my soul mate who I am so lucky to have as my wife. She is a lot older than I am. Consequently, whereas I have loads of energy and am always looking for things to do, my wife is not!
    Having attended a couple of LGBT festivals with my wife, I SECRETLY fantasize about TRANSGENGER Men! Yes, I wish that somehow, someway I could go somewhere and have makeup put on and dress as a woman! My mind is fighting with my sexuality! I don’t know what to do! I have had one sexual encounter a long time ago with a man and possess a very Life and Let Live attitude, in fact I prefer conversations with LGBT people because they possess substance! Please help me! I am attracted to both genders and I need your advice please. Thank you FRIENDS.xxx

  • Kelley

    Kelley

    September 29th, 2015 at 2:24 PM

    G’day Justin I hope you are doing fine.
    I know how you feel as I’m also in in my forties and only canes out to a few good friends in April this year now the rest of my family and friends know, some are disappointed but is willing to accept it the rest however say go for it and be happy don’t let fear get the better of you, I think that was the best advice I was given I’m a whole lot happier than I ever have been.
    I haven’t met that special someone yet but I now know who I am and what I want out of life,
    so my advice to you is to be open and honest with yourself and your family and take things one step at a time. Try sitting down and talking to a bi or gay friend and see what it was like when they first came out and most importantly be yourself and be happy god bless you I hope everything works out

  • Tara

    Tara

    October 20th, 2015 at 3:44 PM

    Hi everyone,

    I am a seventeen year old girl and lately I have been having many thoughts about bisexualy. I have never been in love with a girl and I have only dated guys before. My friends and familiy would 100% accept it if i were bi, and I don’t think it’s a big deal myself if I were, I wouldn’t mind. Some od my friends already know that I am not sure about my sexuality anymore. I don’t think i’m surpressing the truth becauase i’m scared of not being loved anymore, because that’s not the case.. I’m just really confused.. How do I know if i’m really bisexual? Maybe I have just been overthinking it? But everytime I read somethig about it I think ‘yeah that sounds legit.’
    Can anyone help me?
    Thanks x

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    October 20th, 2015 at 4:33 PM

    Hi Tara,

    If you would like to consult with a therapist or counselor, you can return to our homepage here: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

    By entering your ZIP code, you can find therapists in your area who can help you explore your feelings and confusion. The GoodTherapy.org Team is not a substitute for professional help, but we want to encourage you to seek help if you are experiencing distress.

    You can also find more information about bisexuality here: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/bisexuality

    Kind regards,
    The GoodTherapy.org Editing Team

  • Billy

    Billy

    January 3rd, 2016 at 8:49 PM

    I really am struggling with my sexuality and would like some help. I identify as straight but a lot lately have been feeling attraction towards men. I don’t know if it’s just a phase, if I’m not really bisexual, or if I’m just overthinking it. Please help!!!!!

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    January 4th, 2016 at 9:30 AM

    Dear Billy,

    Thank you for your comment. A therapist or counselor can often offer support in times of uncertainty, and many therapists specialize in working with members of the LGBT community, as well as those who are questioning their sexuality.

    You can locate a therapist or counselor in your area by entering your ZIP code here:

    https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

    Please know you are not alone, and we wish you the best of luck in your search.

    Kind regards,

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

  • Shaylie

    Shaylie

    April 3rd, 2016 at 9:44 AM

    I’m a nineteen year old female and I’ve been confused since I was twelve at least. I know I find myself attracted to men and women, but calling myself bi is as uncomfortable as calling myself straight or gay. Like somehow putting a name on it isn’t helping.

    I am afraid of coming out if I figure out what I am. I know my dad would still love me, but he’d think of me different. In the 80s he was in the KKK and although he’s not really a racist or hateful person (I still don’t understand why he was in it in the first place. He’s fine with my friends of different races and orientation.) I’m still afraid. I really don’t want my own dad calling me a dyke, you know?

  • leanne

    leanne

    November 7th, 2016 at 6:39 PM

    inwouldnt lable my self i like who i like and ive known this for years now am 17, i have never dated a girl but am physically and sexually attracted to them, no one knows this expect my sister, i am scared to come out because theres been so many people coming out too look cool or as a fashion thing, i dont no what to do

  • Mary

    Mary

    June 19th, 2017 at 4:17 PM

    hello guys. I need your advice. I am dating with a guy for 5 months already and he admited that he is bisexual but never had any sexual contact with a guy. he claims that he loves me and I also feel it and believe in him but from that day when I heard about his “problem” I cant find any relief I am always worried and sometimes I think about braking up with him just cant do it (((. I just need some advices of you. we are going to get married but I am really scared . can I trust him? will he love me fully? I mean we even didnt have a sex because in my country its kind of tradition( no sex before marriage lol )and I am worried that his feeling will change and he will not want me as a woman. your advice will be relief for me
    thanks in advance

  • Czaba

    Czaba

    October 6th, 2018 at 3:59 AM

    I’m bi. It’s not the biology that matters to me. It’s the kind of person that attracts me. Fluid sexuality has been around our human species for a very long time. Hundreds of thousands of years, if archeology and research into societies that have not been part of the “modern” world are finding evidence about human pairing. Lucky them. Just doing what comes naturally. Loving whoever they want to. And
    sometimes babies happen.
    Humans are not the only mammals that are gender fluid. Dogs, cattle, – lots of others. It is such a shame that so many people, straight and gay, get in such a twitter that somebody else has different sexual responses to themselves. It is typical mammalian (and other creatures) behaviour. We don’t need to be precious about it. For me, it’s loving, sharing, happy people that work for me. And variety can be very pleasurable!

  • geri

    geri

    January 1st, 2019 at 3:49 PM

    Many men want it both ways… they have sexual addictions and the ability to not have boundaries or parameters results in hiding their proclivities from spouses/girlfriends. When outted or they finally admit same it’s devastating because as far as research says most bi-sexual men are spontaneous and do not use rubbers. Unprotected sex is an issue in contracting HIV/AIDS/Herpes and transmitting to gf’s and wives. Is there a safe way for men to give blow jobs including ejaculatory swallowing without risk ?

Leave a Comment

By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org's Terms and Conditions of Use.

* Indicates required field.

GoodTherapy uses cookies to personalize content and ads to provide better services for our users and to analyze our traffic. By continuing to use this site you consent to our cookies.