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Is There Something Wrong with Being a ‘Commitment-Phobe’?
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here. You ask what I think your problem is, and I find myself wondering what you think the problem is or if you even think there is a problem. Find ... Read More
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Help! I’m Worried My Ex Is Turning Our Kids Against Me
There is no question that this is a painful situation for everyone—particularly your kids. The way they are responding to you and this new situation is definitely impacted by how young ... Read More
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Bah Humbug! Am I a Bad Person for Hating the Holidays?
You are not alone—not everybody loves the holidays, and plenty of people hate them. Thanksgiving is only round one. Not long after, you get socked with a real haymaker, the endgame (literally, ... Read More
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Help! My Girlfriend Keeps Making Her Pets My Problem
Before I try to answer your question, I have to come clean. When my husband Mark and I first met 30 years ago I lived with a 7-year-old boy, two snakes, two cats, a dog, a bunch of tropical ... Read More
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Why Do I ‘Troll’ People on the Internet and How Can I Stop?
Thank you for reaching out with this powerful question. There are a number of reasons you may be engaging in this behavior, and I hope this response helps you to uncover some of what motivates ... Read More
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Does Loving a Man Imprisoned for Life Make Me Crazy?
Thank you for your very honest letter. First, let me say that I do not think there is any such thing as “crazy.” Part of my work as a psychotherapist is to put such apparently “irrational” ... Read More
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Help! My Only Friends Are Homophobic and Don’t Know I’m Gay
Real friends are supportive of one another. You may think that the buddies you hang out with are the ones you need, but I think they are just the ones that are around—friends of convenience ... Read More
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Help! I Feel Like I Don’t Deserve My Husband and He’ll Leave
I think you have quite a bit of insight about your problem: your childhood experiences and past relationships have shaped your worldview in such a way that you don’t trust your current ... Read More
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A Child Smeared Poop in Our Home; Should I Tell Her Parents?
How upsetting to make such a discovery! It is unusual, developmentally, for an 8-year-old to smear feces on the wall, though I would hesitate to jump to the conclusion of mental health ... Read More
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Help! My Husband Refuses to Unfriend a Woman He Flirted With
Thank you for your letter. I am sure that it hurt your feelings, to say the least, when your husband laughed at your request to remove the woman from his Facebook friends list. I also think ... Read More
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Help! My Husband Yells at Me When I Mention Our Lack of Sex
Thank you for your message and for having the courage to reach out. I’m sorry to hear that your marriage has run into some challenging times. I hope this message will prove useful and ... Read More
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How Do I Deal with Younger, Competitive People at Work?
You describe yourself as cooperative, gregarious, and caring. These are the strengths I hope you will use to help yourself and your colleagues—the old ones and the new ones—so you can ... Read More