5 Considerations for Relationships with a Big Age Difference

younger woman with older manA middle-aged man dating a much younger woman has long been thought of in American culture as a classic sign of midlife crisis. In some circles, dating a younger woman is a status symbol. Men aren’t the only ones who date younger people, though, and the archetype of the “cougar”—an older woman dating a younger man—is rapidly becoming a part of the public consciousness. Same-sex couples sometimes feature a significant age gap as well.

Although comedians joke about these relationships, a significant age difference doesn’t make a relationship any less real or meaningful, though it may create some challenges that don’t exist when romantic partners are close in age. Navigating the social ramifications of your relationship while struggling with generation gaps can be tough, but a significant age difference can give you the chance to consider new perspectives and appreciate the offerings of a different generation.

Know When the Difference Is Too Large

Love can be fickle, and we don’t always fall for the right people. Sometimes a significant age gap makes a relationship impossible. No matter how real your feelings are, getting involved with someone under the age of 18 can lead to serious legal trouble.

Even if you’re legally in the clear, a large age difference can undermine the long-term viability of your relationship. If you want to have children, you’ll have to consider whether fertility will be an issue and whether you or your partner will be around long enough to help raise your kids. Age differences can also mean significant differences in lifestyle. If you have an established career but your partner is still living with his or her parents, you could be in for a rocky ride.

Understand Your Reasons

Before you begin a relationship with someone much younger or older than you, it’s important to make a careful assessment of your motivations. Love knows no age, but if you date only people who are members of a different generation, it might reveal something about your approach to relationships. While people who date only people much younger or older than them owe no one an explanation, it may be helpful to consider underlying reasoning. Some who date only much older people may be seeking a parental figure more than a romantic partner. They may be insecure about finances and thus want to be with someone established in his or her career. If you have a history of dating people who are significantly younger than you, maybe you like feeling like your partner admires your experience, or perhaps you’re just not physically attracted to other people your age. A significant age difference doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong, but a long-standing pattern is always worth examining.

Be Prepared to Handle Generational Differences

No matter how understanding you are, it’s likely that you’re going to bump up against some generational differences. You might have different political views, find each other’s music obnoxious, or have no understanding of historical events that profoundly influenced your partner’s life. Bridge this difference by probing deeper and making a concerted effort to understand your partner’s viewpoint. A big age difference provides you with valuable opportunities to learn about alternative perspectives and experiences.

Know How to Handle Criticism

The odds are good that some people are going to disagree with your choices in romantic partners, no matter how perfect your relationship is. With close friends and family, this may mean making an effort to explain why you’re in love with the person and not with his or her age. But be prepared for snide, inconsiderate remarks. Getting into constant arguments about your partner’s age is no way to live, so plan a simple—and ideally polite—response that shuts down further discussions of your partner’s age.

Don’t Harp on Age Differences

Although age differences can create some challenges in your relationship, focusing too much on age can backfire. While you need to be understanding of generational differences, attributing every disagreement to your partner’s age can leave you both feeling self-conscious and misunderstood. If you frequently tell your partner his or her age doesn’t matter, your partner might end up feeling like age is a significant issue, or even that you’re in the relationship specifically because of the age difference. Don’t let age dominate your relationship, and address it only when it is truly relevant.

References:

  1. Age differences: Does it really mater anymore? (n.d.). EHarmony Advice RSS. Retrieved from http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/age-differences-does-it-really-matter-anymore/
  1. Jensen, H. (n.d.). 8 tips to handle a major age difference in a relationship. AllWomensTalk.com. Retrieved from http://love.allwomenstalk.com/tips-to-handle-a-major-age-difference-in-a-relationship
  1. Singleton, D. (n.d.). Ask Dave-Dating with a big age gap. Match.com. Retrieved from http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12587/

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The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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  • Dee

    September 13th, 2013 at 10:58 AM

    When I was growing up I was pretty sensitive to the fact that my parents had a huge age difference between them (my ftaher was 15 years older than my mother) but now I have gotten older and it really isn’t that big a deal anymore. They made it work for them and modeled a ver healthy and strong marriage for all of us kids.

  • ellie

    June 29th, 2014 at 2:55 PM

    Hi Dee.

    Just wondering how old your parents are?
    Can you tell there is an age gap?

  • kenneth

    September 14th, 2013 at 4:54 AM

    Is this really the ideal for a lot of people?
    I know that there are a lot of men my age who want a younger woman but all I can really sit and wonder is why? No offense to younger women but I just fail to see how they are going to understand my needs the way a woman more my age would. And why I would wnat to keep trying to get her to understand. It is all kind of confusing to me.
    I don’t see the big deal about a few years, I guess. But when we are talking about an entire generation of difference. . . that for me just feels like it owuld be too much, more than I am willing to deal with I guess. To each his own though I suppose.

  • Lauren

    July 14th, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    Hey Kenneth,

    Well, these kind of relationships just happen! I’m sure no young woman (16-20s…ish) particularly sets out to find a man 20, 30 or 40 years older…love just happens, and it is surprising. I fell in love with a man 35 years older than me, at just 16! It may sound insane to most, but certainly shouldn’t be judged or looked down on by others. Our relationship is very strong and very happy, still very much in love. I wouldn’t change a thing!

  • B

    June 24th, 2015 at 4:50 PM

    Kenneth,
    For our part, the man I love and I have a great deal in common. He has a very young spirit, and I am more of an old soul. We meet well in the middle. When we are together, there is just magic that happens. From work to life to love – physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally – we connect on so many levels. I bring him energy and fresh views (honestly, sometimes he does the same to me), and he has so much wisdom that I gain (but he says he learns from me, as well).
    I think once we are adults, there should little concern about age.
    My only struggle is my own insecurities. He is so patient as I wrestle with my questions about my ability to satisfy him in many ways. He is a gentlemen, and that is a rare thing to find this day and age.
    I wish more people in society were less hung up on age.

  • Jen

    July 16th, 2015 at 7:44 AM

    How did you meet him?

  • Nenea B

    June 27th, 2016 at 11:42 AM

    I understand you comments so well. The only difference is I am the older person in the marriage. 2ZkA

  • Rex

    August 6th, 2016 at 8:54 AM

    B, I’m so glad I read your story. Made me feel so much better. I’m 40 yrs older, than my boyfriend, who picked me out. We’re a gay couple. I’m a devout Christian! Not into dating for sex only. But, you’d have to know what the gay boys around here are looking for. Not for me, I want and need a REAL Relationship. So I’m single. Never found that Same, Right person till now. He’s 18, I’m 58. He’s been hitting on me for awhile. Guess we’re going to date! Get to know each other. Thanks for your Story! May God Bless, Rex

  • Macie

    December 20th, 2016 at 6:52 AM

    I am in a relationship with a man 22 years my senior, and I couldn’t be happier. We are profoundly happy and we teach each other new things every day. Your story hit the nail on the head for me. Thank you for sharing. :)

  • Brooke

    August 13th, 2016 at 7:38 PM

    I’m 34 now but I have always dated guys older. My cut off age is 12 years. They are not old enough to be my dad that’s where I came up with that number although I have dated a few even older I just went in not wanting more. I have many good female friends who are also older. I’m the oldest child in my family. I am very independent and career oriented and have a house. I just think I relate better to older people and that’s why I’m more comfortable dating older men. The sad thing is I have feelings for a guy 12 years older than me that also has feelings for me but he isn’t comfortable with the age difference.

  • Maddie R

    September 16th, 2013 at 3:57 AM

    Having been in one of these relationships before (note the past tense, not the present) I can tell you that it is not always easy. As a matter of fact it is probably one of the most difficult relationships that I have ever eben involved in, and not because he and I had issues but I think that it was more because everyone else had the issues! They thought he was too old, his kids hated that I was closer to their age than to his and my parents went ballistic. It was just a little more than what I could handle at that age and I think that it was more than he wanted to deal with if that makes sense. We are still friends and everything was very amicable but having experienced it, I will say that it is just one less thing to worry about if you are with aomeone who is a little closer in age to what you are.

  • C

    October 10th, 2016 at 10:25 PM

    I’m married to a man close to 20 years difference. He’s sons had major issues about this which is still going on for 10 years. To be honest I think this gab is way too big. I’m an outgoing person and he doesn’t want to do anything. Also he complaints about everything really annoying at times. It feels like I have to deal with my grandfather. I know it sounds terrible but I’m so depressed and now I’m stuck

  • Jennifer

    April 9th, 2017 at 6:34 AM

    Currently living and in relationship with an awesome man 20 years older. His kids are my age but they don’t seem to care about my age. We do have alot of differences. I’m one who loves attention. Like cuddle, talk, spend quality time together. With him we hardly talk, he’s on his phone alot. He’s in to politics so thats mostly what he is doing. I think as far as our relationship he’s just alot more content where I still like romantic spontanious stuff!

  • Lou

    September 18th, 2013 at 5:32 AM

    I’m married to a wonderful man and he is considerably older than I am (more than 50 years my senior). We are very happy together and we are also very realistic. We entered the relationship with our eyes open and we are aware of the fact that many people don’t approve but, since we never actually asked for their opinion in the first place, we don’t care what they think. Our families are happy as they can see that we truly love and care for one another and that we are good for one another. While it doesn’t always work for some people, it can work for others and no-one has the right to judge purely on the little that they know of any situation.

  • sam

    November 7th, 2013 at 10:25 AM

    Zawn, thanks much for this great article.
    Lou, I am in the exact position of your man, I wish you and him the best.

  • sam

    November 7th, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    I have seen so many ADULTS 20-40 years of age continue to allow their mother, older brother, etc. to interfere in their choice of partner.
    I have seen this happen to me and others with age, race, religion.
    This can and will happen if ADULTS alloy it.

  • Joy

    December 28th, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    I just don’t have a lot in common with my peers, I don’t listen to popular music and I’m reserved and quiet. I would like to date a man 15-20 years older, but most are already in relationships.

  • Charlotte

    July 26th, 2016 at 8:45 PM

    Me too,I never feel attracted to men in my age.If you really know what you want you will find a man that meet your criteria,not all of them are married there are plenty single out there that are ready to Seattle down

  • Brooke

    August 13th, 2016 at 8:42 PM

    Thanks for the tip!!!!! :)

  • Carl

    September 2nd, 2016 at 6:52 AM

    Joy don’t be looking love will come to you when you least expect it

  • Madelyn

    February 4th, 2014 at 5:17 PM

    My boyfriend is 30 years older than me, more than twice my age. We very rarely even notice that there is a difference, because we have so much in common, and we simply adore each other. So many websites I see simply criticize age-gap relationships, and it’s nice to see an article that at least acknowledges that differences in age don’t necessarily mean that the relationships can’t be meaningful.

  • nina

    February 5th, 2014 at 8:16 PM

    This make me happy to see that im not the only one who feels for someone older than me. About 2 1/2 years ago i met a man that is 18 yrs older than me. Whether we say age is just a #..i know age can play a factor.Although we have . Not set a title on us We cant seem to stay away from each other. We do everything together.. So much in common..its all there comfortable,open,understanding considerate,thoughtful loving. He makes me so happy when i see him and when im with him i always feel content inside. Hes everything i cld ask for in a partner. My mother says if im happy shes happy :-)

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:44 PM

    Your mother sounds like a very wise woman!

    “Dance as though no one is watching. Sing as though no one is listening. Love as though you have never loved before. Live as though heaven is on earth.”

  • Atorres

    March 3rd, 2014 at 4:52 PM

    In the same exact boat, great to know I’m not alone:) you put a smile on my face:)

  • Kairi

    June 23rd, 2014 at 10:57 PM

    Thank you so much for this. I just recently met someone 18 years older than I and he is everything I’ve ever wanted. It makes me happy to know that even though there are difficulties sometimes, love doesn’t require a number to be right or wrong. You really can’t help who you fall for.

  • Cathy Collins

    February 17th, 2014 at 8:48 PM

    I have been happily married for nearly 29 years to a man, 15 years old than me…..BUT in the past six years his health has failed, I am now more his companion and carer, than wife!! The age gap definitely widens as you both grow older.

  • Michael

    May 19th, 2014 at 6:20 PM

    Cathy what are your age ranges? I am 53 and have been involved with a woman 14 years younger for 5 years. I am wondering at some point she may become my caregiver and I am wondering will it be unfair to her? Will she lose out on life?

  • Jenny

    October 29th, 2014 at 11:50 PM

    That’s the problem rite there not what other people think but the age gap age does make a difference a woman / has newds that need to be met and if a man can’t fullfill them because hes 22 years older then you like in my case with my man then that becomes a problem….You feel frustrated miserable and its not fair to the other person I’m 51 my man is 73 we have been together 10 years. At the beginning it was great but not anymore he’s a wonderful man but he just can’t . Fullfill me as a man and I have all this energy and life in me we have not had sex going on 5 years but yet his good to me that’s all I’m saying.

  • didi

    December 21st, 2016 at 11:34 AM

    I am 72 (female)with a 90 y/o man. We don’t live together but we had a good time together for 18yrs but now the age difference is too great. I feel sorry for him and he depressed and complains about everything. This is so distressing and I am resenting him so much but he needs me and I would feel guilty to end this. It is to the point that I deeply resent him.

  • Large Age Gap Relationship

    February 25th, 2014 at 10:10 PM

    I think for any relationship age didn’t matter, even there is some community who help to meet large age gap people together and share there thought, experience.

    All relationship is not come with love or romantic relationship is it? I think relationship means two people like company of each other, they like to share their thoughts, and good or bad experience.

    And I believe age gap is not a perfect reason for difference is relationship.

  • Atorres

    March 3rd, 2014 at 4:48 PM

    I have been dating a man 31 years older than me. I love him and never thought I’d be with or be attracted to someone so much older! Been a long road and lots of hurdles that we over came. My family supports us and accepts him as part of the family. I’m an over thinker, and constantly thinking of the future, which at times can be consuming. I guess I’d have to say the most difficult things for me would be his children and the fact that others disagree with the relationship. Also, the fact that he’s a physcian. ( makes people probably think I’m after his money) Always, feel on the defensive side. The generation gap, doesn’t bother me much. We just connect well in so many ways. We are very inseparable and can’t keep our hands to ourselves. It’s amazing that we have so many things in common despite the age difference. I also have learned so much from him. My kids are very accepting to the age difference as they are 15,12, and 7. They love unconditionally like their mother. So what he loves oldies, I grew up with mc hammer and vanilla Ice. Music differences, least of our worries! I blast my music, he puts on his head phones. Easy solution! We both compromise when needed. Most importantly, I try and tell myself the important people who know us well, know our love is true, they can see it and feel it. Love is ageless;)

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:39 PM

    Awesome!! Keep it up and all the best to you!

  • Landor

    March 10th, 2014 at 7:03 PM

    My boyfriend is 13 years my senior and really, what other people say doesn’t bother me. This is MY life and my own happiness, you won’t even tell he’s THAT old.. The things he does, always being there for me.. And I don’t think being in a relationship with someone your senior should be an issue, after all this is your own future we’re talking about. Not your friends’ or parents’

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:38 PM

    Absolutely right!! Bravo!

  • Amanda

    March 13th, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    Well…there is no right and wrong answer. Just my own opinion. I am dating a man, 9 years my senior. We have some common interests but not all. I try to understand his needs and wants, and tolerate to make our relationship a better one. I like when he share his thoughts with me, either agree or not agree is another point. He shares because he wants me to know about how he feels and thinks. When we have disagreement on certain issues I will respect his choice and decision. Because I respect our differences. People usually said sharing the same interest in a relationship is important as you may understand better about your partner. But I think a couple with different interest and able to be together make a relationship even stronger. For instance, in the early years (my grandparent’s era) they never meet each other. They were together because both parents agreed to let them married. They met for the first time when the lady married to the guy. It is tough for you to fall in love with someone you first met and know nothing about them. You may not know how old your partner is until you see them. Maybe 5 years,10 years,15 years or even much older than u. But most of them can maintain such relationship till now. I feel happy when I see old couples (grandparents’ age) holding hands whenever they are. I met an old couple, used to be my regular customer when I worked in a dessert house. They were lovely! They loved to talk. The old man does not like dessert but the wife does. The old man always visit our store twice a week and every time he orders the same dessert for his wife.

    What I’m trying to say is that if those in the earlier can maintain good relationship without knowing who their partner are until they first met and the issue of their age gap…I think age gap relationship is not a big deal. It all depends on how individual finds the right interest of your partner and respect his/her differences.

    Some did raised up the issue here. When your partner grow older, you have to take of your partner. For instance, his may face a lot of health problem when he is 65 and your were only 40. You might need to have more time, strength and spend money to take care of him. Some may think it is very troublesome. But if you choose to be with he/her, why should we afraid of this happen in the future? U love him/her for everything. No matter what happen in the future, we should share it together. this is not a troublesome task, not responsibility but love. You love everything of your partner. Good or bad…You gonna accept all.

    It is just my opinion :).

  • tashia

    April 6th, 2014 at 1:50 PM

    I’ve been seeing a guy 14 years my senior, and things are going great. But recently his mother has decided she doesn’t like me, because of my age, and its starting to get to my man. it’s almost like he sees me differently. I’m scared yes, but we work so well together. Reality is, not everyone agrees with age difference.

  • Barb

    April 24th, 2014 at 12:42 AM

    I am in a relationship with a man 22 years younger than me, different race & different country. He adores me – I adore him and we understand one another…. I resisted his attentions for a long time because of other peoples opinions which just made us both miserable. I finally decided that it was MY life to live and its all over too soon – I dont know how long we will last – no-one ever does – but we are determined to cherish every moment together!!!!

  • nori r.

    June 18th, 2014 at 4:52 PM

    I’m glad to know some successful older woman/younger man relationships with a big age gap can work out .. I’m kinda on the fence with it. But finding myself attracted to a younger guy. He’s 20 I’m 36. The feelings mutual on both ends but no one has made the first move. I have been in this type of realtionship before, but not this big of a gap… uggh

  • Lisa

    June 19th, 2014 at 1:56 PM

    I’m 36 yrs old and my husband is 24. We’ve been married for a year and a half now. We are very happy together. Yes, there are people, including family, that think this is wrong. We overlook it. Their opinions are just that. Opinions. They do not live our lives. What works for us doesn’t work for everybody. If it makes you happy then I say go for it!

  • Jacqueline

    June 25th, 2016 at 6:22 PM

    That’s what I’m talking about. I have someone 20 years younger pursuing me, and I kept seeing comments about women and older men. I needed to see one about older women and younger men.

  • Nenea B

    June 27th, 2016 at 11:55 AM

    Hi,
    It apparently is an uncommon thing for an older woman and a younger man to be happily married. I have begun searching for “normal” not cougarish women in a happy marriage like mine and don’t find it often. Earlier comments about common life goals was very good. My husband and I are active, compassionate, intelligent people who find great pleasure in the entirety of each other. That makes it work. Also really good communication skills are a must in any realtionship

  • Lee

    July 13th, 2016 at 2:53 AM

    I am a 61 yo woman and dating a 30 yo male. It’s still early days and my kids are his age and are fine with it so long as I’m happy and he’s treating me right. I have no long term expectations even though he says he is with me for a long time. His family, on the other hand, wouldn’t approve so he isn’t telling them. He is a very private person anyway but he talks to me. I don’t look my age and when we are out noone stares at us or makes comments. We are both happy and isn’t that what life’s about? I had a miserable, viokent marriage and I know what I want out of life. And, yes, he pursued me! I rejected his requests in the beginning as I thought the age difference was too great but we met and just walked into each others arms. It felt so right and comfortable. Nieither of us like PDS’s and I think if people ie strangers make comments etc then they mustn’t be happy in themselves. Think of number 1! Go for it. Be happy. Who’s to say that a relationship with someone your own age is going to work out anyway??

  • Eve

    September 19th, 2016 at 6:35 PM

    I’m 37 about to be 38 I’m with a guy 13 years younger than me. We’ve been together 2 years. We get along so well we never fight, we may bicker for a moment but once we communicate we drop it as of it never happened and continue with our time together. I’m happier with him then I’ve ever been with anyone in my age frame. He is very good to me. I don’t know how long we will be together but I will enjoy my every moment with him while we are together

  • Lisa

    January 13th, 2017 at 6:57 PM

    Yes ! Lol I’ve had more 25-29 year olds pursuing me and after ten years of saying I’m old enough to be your mother to finally actually falling in love with one that was a good friend ! He’s 25, I’m 43. He’s more mature than some of then men my age and I get all kinds of inappropriate behavior when people find out how old I really am. Apparently I look like I’m 30. So, I just don’t care really. I struggle with others more than anything. You have to be a confident and strong person. Sometimes it’s harsh, I’m not gonna lie, but in the end it’s our relationship, a consensual adult one. :)

  • Claud

    July 28th, 2016 at 2:52 PM

    I am 26 years older than my boyfriend He want to marry me but I say no I broke out with them

  • Ethan

    October 6th, 2016 at 6:07 PM

    Hi Barb
    I am 14 years old and i have beem dating an 18 year old girl for a over a year now. I was just wondering if that is a bad thing.

  • Tom

    October 7th, 2016 at 7:09 PM

    Ethan
    Of course it is not bad Ethan, though 17 year old girls would not usually have that much in common with a 13 year old boy. However each case is unique. Also if as you say you have been going out for over a year then one presumes you must have a pretty good and supportive relationship. However on the other hand there may be legal ramifications if you are getting intimate whilst under-age. Different countries have different rules but usually protect under 16s as they are regarded as vulnerable children.

  • young woman

    May 22nd, 2014 at 9:57 PM

    I am 50 and starting a relationship with a 69 soon to be 70 man, he can out dance any 40 yr old, and he is so aware… i have been with younger by 10 years and married twice 3 and 5 yrs older… i feel i am done with sexual exploration, and stuff younger men want… i enjoy a “non sexual” getting to know each other.. and when we get to that point im not worried, i love him for who he is not the sex… most younger men and women just want to make sure the sex is good before they start relationship commitment. I want more, and i could end up to be his care giver and would love that as long as his heart is kind and his hug is warm.. I don’t think it is the age difference, i think is the full life experience that each person has had prior to the relationship… been there done that in the wild life, commmitted life, church life, party life, i have raise a family, and he never had a family so my family can be a blessing to him… and he is all alone… i like that i don’t have to share him with children, or relatives because he has NONE…. i will be his one and only… and i will spoil him too, because younger wilder, and younger boring men have not connected with me… our 20 year age difference is ok because our prior life experiences has filled our exploration and we are both ready to settle down for “mature love and committment”… different from a mid life crises person going after younger meat just to prove they still got it… and when you grown old will they trade you in for a younger model? I am his young hot chick at age 50 looking 35 and he is 70 acting 35… so it works for us so far… we’ve only been talking 2 months but we are done with random dates and failed relationships we have a very good understanding of accepting each other as is… we are financially equal so its not the money however his stuff is paid off and i still have a mortgage… we are not thinking of moving in together we still have our separate lives but hope to merge with time when i retire. My kids think he will die before me, but young people of 40 get killed by drunk drivers or heart attacks we all have a chance to die today regardless of age… hell be 90 when i am 70 if we either make it that far… we both are healthy.

  • jay

    May 25th, 2014 at 4:56 PM

    Love him and be yall be happy im going to get my man

  • Finchli

    May 26th, 2014 at 8:59 AM

    You go girl!

  • jay

    May 25th, 2014 at 4:53 PM

    Im 34 and head over heels with a 76 yr old man.i really am in love and I recently broke it off now. He calls and text I don’t respond cause I got tired of being judged but, my life without him id so miserable I miss him every second and minute of the day I wish things was different. And his family thinks I want him for some sugar daddy. No I want to marry him.i feel like I have a second chance at love. True love

  • Kerry

    June 28th, 2016 at 12:55 AM

    I’m replying to Jay – and I say, Go for it. Don’t pass up the chance of true love. You might be right about this!

  • dalila

    May 30th, 2014 at 10:40 PM

    hey guys thank you so much for this article my boyfriends white and 46 years old and im 20 almost 21 and im black. i love him to death but ive been attacked and yelled at by my mom. its made me feel that there was something wrong with me for loving and dating him. i feel much better now to that there is other people out there that understand what im going though. =) i truly love my man.

  • Ashley

    June 11th, 2014 at 8:39 PM

    Dalila ,

    I feel like we’re in the same boat. I’m 21, African American and Dominican and my boyfriend is 44 and caucasian. We’ve been dating for about 7 months now and I’m absolutely crazy about him. He’s a male version of me in every way. My mom didn’t approve at first but she met him and loves him for who he is. I recently broke it off with him because I couldn’t take the judgement coming from negative people. I could feel people killing us with their eyes as they stared at us. I felt like we couldn’t move forward with our relationship because I was afraid to introduce him to the rest of my family and my friends because I’m afraid of their reactions. But who cares what others think right ? Easier said than done ! I tell myself everyday to pick up the phone and call him because I miss him like crazy but when I dial his number I hang up because I think of the negativity . If I get him back will I just be playing with his emotions because I can’t take criticism from others ? I wish I was stronger and didn’t care what others think but reality is I do and that ruined my relationship. I want it love him like no other and marry him and spend my life with him but society has ruined that for me :(

  • Eddy

    June 4th, 2014 at 5:25 AM

    Hi I am a 52 year young man who is having a relationship with a 19 year old woman. We love each other, we laugh together, we cuddle, we have a lot in common, the same music, food, value’s and expectations for the future. We give each other lots of love , respect and share the same views about life in general. One problem is everybody around us…. narrow minded people who deny someone to be happy because of an age difference. And that’s just it, we are very happy, very happy, so maybe the problem is with all those people who are stuck in loveless relationships and stay there because of what others might say ! I love my partner to bits and she loves me to bits… that’s all that matters.

  • Paul

    June 13th, 2014 at 8:28 PM

    Good for you! Good for her! Keep being happy,mthats what the world needs, more happy people and less grumpy jeallousy.

  • victoria

    July 14th, 2014 at 12:14 AM

    That be nice if you be honest and tell your girlfriend that youd like to have a sex with different girls that she s not only woman that you can be attract to even if she is yangest then you. I’m in relationship with very honest silver hair dood and I learn my lesson that old position as is he is not own me srexually. Old man wants kinky nearly sex they didn’t want wergen angel in bed. But not any Yang woman can be fitted in that detention well good luck

  • Michael

    June 5th, 2014 at 5:39 PM

    I’m a 58 y/o guy, soon to be 59 and very attracted to a woman who is 44 y/o. I’m younger than my years, very active, in shape, and in great health. I just naturally assume a woman 15 years younger than me……WON’T be attracted to me when she knows the age difference. Is this realistic, or am i over thinking the situation?

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:35 PM

    You’re over thinking it. Tell her your age. If she feels for you, the way you feel for her, the gap won’t matter…it should never matter (when both are adults, of course).

  • A

    June 7th, 2014 at 8:08 PM

    I am a 34 year old woman engaged to a 61 year old woman. Yay same sex marriage finally! I will say my mother (same age as my partner) when I first told her I had fallen for my fiance (she was my friend first) was not too thrilled. However she grew to love her too, now she is family. My partner doesn’t look her age, she could pass for at least 10 years younger, but we do get the (on occasion) “is this your mom/daughter?” Assumption which can be awkward but we get over it. Both of us had been married to men before, briefly. Sometimes references to before I was born come up but for me it’s more interesting than anything else. We have enough in common that it trumps differences. We each have never had children and are looking toward me getting pregnant with donor or adopting in the near married future. I don’t know how we do it but we do, it works, we love each other and that is all that matters. Life is too short to not be with someone, even if on short term, that makes you happy and vice versa. Love and be loved!

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:32 PM

    Well said! Bravo!

  • Catherine

    June 24th, 2014 at 11:59 PM

    My boyfriend and i are 14 years apart and honestly, we have dated for 2 years now and i have never felt this way about anyone else. Yes although many do not approve of our relationship, i believe that so long as you both really love each other it’ll work out fine. Others arent you, they have no right to tell you what is right or wrong unless ofcourse he’s taking advantage of you in a myraid of ways. Yes although ill have to sacrifice many things to be in this relationship like the ability to talk about my boyfriends age with confidence and all, i believe that it’ll be worth it in the end. And regarding the caregiver thing, its inevitable for everyone Which is why our marriage vows include the words “in sickness and in health”. Like the fault in our stars, if you recieve forever in your numbered days, then wouldnt it be worth it? The only difference is time, but if you’re the happiest you’ve ever been, then i believe that you shouldnt break the relationship for the sake of others but rather believe in yourself.

  • Kirsty G

    June 27th, 2014 at 6:46 AM

    I’m 20 and I’m dating a man who’s 37 years old. We’re definitely head over heels in love and we’ve discussed marriage and kids (it’ll be both of our first times). I wasn’t attracted to his money and he doesn’t just value my looks- we fell in love completely by accident. All that matters is that you have a strong connection, communicate well, trust and respect each other, and are committed to putting in the effort to make it work. Don’t let society dictate what’s right and wrong for you – trust yourself!

  • AlaynaLyn

    July 1st, 2014 at 9:38 PM

    Okay so I need some advice and different views. I am a 17 year old Caucasian female , 1 month from 18 and from the South. I have been seeing a 47 year old man, not of the same race (African american). But, he is married. Now, before y’all think I’m a home wrecker, before I came into the picture he and his wife had been having issues and discussing divorce. So they came to tell agreement that they would part ways after there settlement came through from an old law suit. He told me before we even started talking about a relationship that he wasn’t happy with her, at all. He stays gone from the time he wakes till he comes home for the night. And they don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. Of course, my mother is livid about it. But I start college in August. This guy has made me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. We share laughs and jokes. He tells me his problems through the day and I do the same. We have such a great connection.. like the perfect understanding of each other. But everyone is looking down on me for it.

  • Lauren

    July 14th, 2014 at 2:01 PM

    Believe. This man makes me the happiest I have ever been, he is loving, caring, protective and wants to provide me with the very best…He would take a bullet for me. Where is the wrong in that? I don’t understand why people are so concerned about what others think…so much to overlook the happiness and wellbeing of their own daughter! It really does hurt. But I have to do what I feel is best for me…It will be worth it in the end. If your family truly loves you, they will come around.

  • Chelle

    July 3rd, 2014 at 2:31 PM

    I need advice.
    I currently have a relationship with a guy that is 17 years older than me (I’m 25, he’s 42). We’ve been seeing each other for almost 7 years. We have a L.A.T relationship, so we don’t live together at the moment but of course we see each other regularly (mostly weekends/holidays and all that and we talk everyday). I’m not a native English speaker, so if there are some faults in my vocabulary bear with me, I hope you understand everything.

    Anyway, recently because of certain events that happened in our lives, our relationship has gotten a bit different. And not good different. He was always very busy, but at the beginning of this year his father died, sorta suddenly. And he always worked with his father, it was his fathers business, and my boyfriend has been part of it for over 15 years. And now he has taken over his fathers work on top of his own work. And it’s too much, but he says he cannot hire someone to do the things he does because there all little things combined and there simply isn’t a function for it. So yeah, lately he’s only busy with work and he’s always really tired when we see each other. Which isn’t surprising and I’m trying to help him with everything, help him with his work whenever I can. I also run my own business but it’s different and much, much, smaller, but nonetheless my skills are of use to his company as well, so that’s good.
    But anyway, it’s not only that he’s more stressed and tired. Last night we kind of had a little falling out. It was about my (steph)brothers birthday that’s coming up on Saturday and his girlfriend invited me and I could also bring my boyfriend. So last night I told him that it would be nice if he maybe comes along. And well, there might be another weird thing about our relationship, is that my (steph)brother and sister have never met him, because I’ve only been in touch with my brother and sister myself for 3 years again, after having a little family issue. So I jokingly said to him “Because they’re starting to wonder if you actually exist, because they never met you”. And then he started saying things like “Frankly I am not in the mood for social calls, I work 16 hours a day” And he literally said “I don’t give a f*** what they think, I don’t have time for that social shit, if they want that they better find themselves a functionary.”
    This was all on Skype, on text chat and I was just like what the hell… So I said “Well thanks…” and I just went offline because I was really angry that he told me that he didn’t gave a f*** about what they thought, I went to ‘sleep’, sick to my stomach and hurt. It just would’ve meant something to me, if they finally met him. Like isn’t that what’s supposed to happen when you’re in a relationship? Meet the family and sorts. Even though, in the past it’s been really weird anyway with us and being amongst family. We mostly just liked being together without anyone there. But I have to say this is my very first relationship, and he already had some before me, of course. So I was all new to everything that a relationship would bring to the table. He’s always been very much on his own before he met me and sometimes I feel like he doesn’t want anything to interfere with that loneliness. Not even me, sometimes I feel that I am too much. But I really don’t ask that much, I never ask for anything really. He doesn’t have to take me out to dinner, buy me fancy things. None of that, I just want him to understand that he is my boyfriend and that some things would mean something to me if he’d participate. If he’d put me first sometime, instead of his work. But he doesn’t seem to read into that. I don’t come first. Not anymore, well… Maybe I never did. I don’t know. I’m just really sad and kinda angry that he doesn’t care about what makes me happy. I go along with him for so many things he wants to do or needs to do for his work or whatever. Things have changed so drastically this year, that I am contemplating about staying in this relationship and help him get through everything. But I’m not sure if he’d ever change. Because he’s so used to being alone, it’s hard for him to accept change in that routine. If we’d start to live together, I don’t know if he could even handle that. Even though he has told me he can. And I’m also starting to doubt, I’m in my 20’s, do I really want to sit at his house, which is like 3 hours away from any of my family (that’s far, in Europe), and wait for him to come home at 22:00. Lately I also want to do more with my life, I haven’t figured out everything that I want yet, if I like my job and want to continue, if I want to travel by myself for an amount of time. It’s just all adding up. If our relationship hadn’t changed so drastically over the course of this year, I never would’ve second guessed about staying with him. But now I do… And even though I talk this way, I can’t imagine being without him. I do love him and I always will and I’m not sure if I will ever feel all that I have felt these past years with anyone else. And deep in my heart I don’t want to lose him, because I care so much about him, that it’s killing me that he’s talking to me the way that he does, it feels like he’s pushing me away… I just don’t know what to make of it anymore. All I know is that right now I could cry and that this really hurts. We’re supposed to go on holiday together in 2 weeks, I don’t even know if we’ll make it that long anymore. :(

  • Mackenzie

    July 7th, 2014 at 5:38 PM

    I’m currently in a relationship with a 43 year old. I’m 18 years old. We have been dating for almost 2 years. No body knows that we are dating, not even my family. He has a 9 year old son. He says he wants kids with me but I don’t know if I could tell the world who I’m dating. I’m always worried what people think of me. I just don’t know what to do. I love him so much but my family would disown me if they knew.

  • michelle

    July 11th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

    I was 19 years old when I know my husband he’s 44 years old at that time – after 1 year dating we got married. Now I’m 21 and he 46, we had a lot of trouble like the other relationship – I have no interest with a man same age like me, I always seeking a man above 35, I dont know why – I feel more comfortable with older man – But I’m ok to tell everybody since we’ve dating (also my parents-actually my parents more younger 4 years old than him- but thank god my parents can understand me) – I only got trouble with his parents which cant accepted our age big different and our religion different (but he already converted to my religion) for those girls who seeking or dating much more older men, it’s ok – dont be shy – love is blind [but dont be too blind or naive,use the brain too before you choose that choice] of course perhaps in your environment sometimes ppl can accepted it or they can’t accepted it – but doesn’t matter this is our relationship not their relationship.

  • Vanessa

    July 20th, 2014 at 1:06 PM

    Hi Michelle! Im a 21 yo and iI feel something vert strong and real for a 35 yo man. He told me recently he was feeling something very strong for me and I told him the same. Thing is I am scared that because he is older he just knows how to make me feel good and everything. Although I feel he is real but like u said love is blind. . . I am just scared he could be playing with me. Any advice?

  • Erica

    July 13th, 2014 at 11:37 PM

    Hi I like reading everyone’s comments… I don’t feel alone anymore!!! I’m 18 years old and I’m head over heals for my man who is 38 it was hard n my mom dis owned me because I met him after they had along time fling…. but nobody has cared for me more then this man!! I really don’t know what id do without him!!! And even though he is 20 years older then me he could run circles around me anyday and definately keeps me on my toes ♡♡♡ and we are starting a new family of our own

    So girls love is something to charish weather their age, gender, or race :) build your own life beyond what people think or say!!!

  • nichola

    September 6th, 2014 at 5:38 PM

    Finally i find person inlove with someone 20 years older than they are. Well me and my guy met about over a year now, i was 19 and him 39 we never really rushed into things but rather spent time with each others. I love him a lot more now that we’re doing things couple should be, only fear i have is he doesn’t really know my age and fear he’ll want to call it quits when he finds out I’m young enough to be his daughter, speaking of kids he has a 3 years old son. How should i tell him my age? i saw his year of birth in his driving license a year ago, when he had went to get food and i stayed in the car. I love him, he’s just too sweet, loving, caring and does things to me in bed a man my age has never done. I made him wait 16months to have sex with me, but he remained consistent all those months.

  • J

    July 15th, 2014 at 12:10 PM

    so I’m a 25 year man and wound up with a girlfriend that is 54. We were both kinda shocked when it happened. It’s kinda wild how much we’re alike. We’re not sure where it’s going, but we’re going with it for now. The electricity between us is pretty remarkable.

  • Gee

    July 15th, 2014 at 3:33 PM

    So I met a guy who is 17 years older, me being 21 and him being 38. We had an amazing connection from the start, we just clicked and were so happy until other peoples opinions became involved. Reading all the comments on here have kept my mind at ease that I’m not the only one. But can you really call them friends when they don’t give your happiness a chance to prove itself? Unfortunately it’s out of my hands now, as his friends have so convinced him that our feelings are wrong. People can be so judgemental without seeing the big picture. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover!

  • James

    July 18th, 2014 at 10:52 AM

    Gee,

    I hear you on the friends aspect. I was with a 22 year old woman who had friends that convinced her of the same. My friends did not care and were supportive. I think regardless of age a person a lot of times follows people and does not lead. Sometimes the fear of later down the road scares some.

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:25 PM

    You’ve got it figured out! Unfortunately, it sounds like he doesn’t. Hopefully, your strength and resolve will bring him around. Good luck!

  • Ruthi S

    July 15th, 2014 at 5:22 PM

    chelle I am so sorry you are haveing a hard time

  • Rose

    July 16th, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    Is 9 years a big gap, me and my babe gave been together for 4 years and counting and everything is great and I love him more than anything else

  • Rose

    July 16th, 2014 at 5:14 PM

    We are in a long distance relationship and things are difficult because he is more busy than I am and don’t have much time where we focus on just eachother, eventually we want to move in together but decided to wait, we don’t see eachother often due to the distance
    Any advice on things that may help?
    And is 9 years a big age gap?
    Thanks

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:23 PM

    Nine years is not a big gap. The long physical distance is a greater danger to your relationship than the age gap.

  • Anna B.

    July 16th, 2014 at 3:29 PM

    Hi, I am a 23 year old woman in a relationship with a 39 year old guy. We started dating in April of 2013 and I just had a baby boy with him back in June. The only thing my parents don’t like is that I just had a baby and we aren’t married. Advice?

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:21 PM

    It would help to identify him as the father on birth certificate, if not already done. While a marriage certificate does not mean you are any more in love, marriage does offer certain societal benefits, such as qualifying for coverage on his medical/dental plans at work, etc. If you are both committed to each other, you might want to talk about getting married.

  • Simon

    July 18th, 2014 at 12:55 AM

    I’m a 37 year old man (most people guess I’m in my mid 20s though) dating an amazing 20 year old woman who has honestly taught me more than I teach her and treats me better than anyone I have ever met. She makes me a better man. We have so many interests in common. The only concern I have with planning a life with her is me slowing down before her, or leaving her a widow at a young age. Today we are just living a life full of adventure and she is the first woman I have been with who can keep up with me. I worry it’s not fair to her though now that we are talking marriage and a future, and I love her so much I would not want her to suffer a life with me growing old before her if she could live a better one with a man her age. However, we feel like soul mates… And reading these stories has really given me a realization that there are people here much older than us who are happy with larger gaps than we have. It’s comforting. I have never doubted how much love we have for eachother, I just love her so completely that I can’t imagine leaving her alone at 50 or 60. (Plus her mother finally met me and came around, which is pretty fantastic considering we have been together nearly a year now).

  • Vanessa

    July 20th, 2014 at 12:39 PM

    Hi Simon! I think that you could tell her what you feel and tell her that you don’t want to slow her down, if it is not something that bothers her she will continue with you. I think that love can break barriers. It is always important to be honest with the other person but it is also important to accept the love the person gives you and not be scared . she is 20 so she is old enough to know what she wants and if it feels like soulmate well it is a good sign I think.

  • Lerato

    July 18th, 2014 at 8:45 AM

    I m a 35 yr lady in love with a 25 yr guy. We are so in love, do things together, support each other and intend to get married. But I am worried if he is aware an able to deal with pressure he will get from his family once they know am much older than him.

  • Confused

    July 19th, 2014 at 4:31 AM

    I am a 18 year old boy and I like this girl who is 14. We have talked for a few times(few hr long). But I don’t know what should I do next.. Can someone give me some advice?

  • Vanessa

    July 20th, 2014 at 12:43 PM

    Hi! I am a 21 yo woman that is in love with my dance teacher. He is older than me (14y older). He recently told me he feel something very strong for me. And I told him the same. Thing is I am scared that because he is older he would just know how to talk to girls and everything. Although it feels amazing when I’m with him and he is always asking me how I am and how is everything. He is very caring. Anyone could give me some advice on how could I know if he is just playing something or if he is real?

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:14 PM

    Go with your gut, it’s usually right.

  • Collette

    July 21st, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    I am 25 and have been dating a woman 17 years older than me for the last 6 years. She is my soul mate and I am ready to spend my life with her. Over the last yr or so she has been struggling with our age gap. She feels she is wrong for being with me because she feels she is keeping me from being with someone my own age. I have expressed in numerous ways that I am where I want to be and who I want to be with. How do I get her to realize she has nothing to fear?

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:13 PM

    You can’t. That’s her issue. She needs to be comfortable with and confident about who she is…she has to love herself before she will be happy and content in any relationship. The most you can do is be true to your real feelings and who you are. Be steady, strong, consistent, and completely honest, with her and yourself. That’s all you can do.

  • Silju

    July 22nd, 2014 at 4:47 AM

    I am 26 and i am dating with a lady she is 35.She has a son, 12 years old. We are in deep love. I want to marry her. I cant live with out her. I like her son & her son like me too. We are in love for 1 and half year.Is there any problem in future?, What are the problems i have to face? Please help me…………

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:04 PM

    Love is sometimes transient. By that, I mean that there really is no one true love for anyone. You will, and should, love many women in your lifetime. Not all will be romantic or consummated relationships, but that doesn’t make the love any less real or meaningful. If you love her and she loves you, let that guide your actions and don’t let the transient nature of love hold you back.

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 3:07 PM

    P.S. BTW, you can live without her, and she you. Don’t stay in the relationship because you think you can’t live without her; that will lead to certain heartbreak. Good luck.

  • Megan

    July 25th, 2014 at 1:53 AM

    Hi,
    I am an 18 year old female and have been dating a 34 year old man for almost 10 months. We met on my 18th birthday and although it was hard to get my head around his ages at first, we now love each other so much and my friends love him/his friends love me. However we are at completely different stages of our lives and I want to travel far and wide but he’s done it all before and doesn’t want to come with me. He doesn’t want to stop me from doing anything but we both fear that each other will be unfaithful if I go away for a few months. I love him so much and don’t want to lose him but feel like I’m holding myself back from the world. What should I do?

  • T. Anthony

    July 25th, 2014 at 2:57 PM

    Go without him, breathe in the full experience, live it to the fullest–even to the point of sampling the affections of a local if it feels right. Because he’s “been there, done that” is a poor excuse for not going with you. It seems to me it would be a great opportunity for the two of you to take your relationship to an even deeper level. Each of you being afraid that the time away will lead either one or both of you to seek the comfort of others (i.e., sex) and endanger your relationship as a result signals a weakness in your relationship. But that’s just me. I’m 53, involved with a much younger woman (28), and want to do many things with her that I’ve already done, and go with her to many places that I’ve already been. When she doesn’t want to go with me, I go by myself, and vice versa, and enjoy myself, without worry that her absence will destroy what we have. In sum, it sounds like it would be a fantastic experience for you; you will grow greatly as a person, gain worldly knowledge and confidence, and remember it for your lifetime. If your new sense of self and confidence doesn’t turn him on upon your return, then he ultimately might not be the right guy for you.

  • Mae-Rose H.

    July 25th, 2014 at 2:28 PM

    I’m in a relationship with an amazing man 23 years older than me. I’m 18 and he’s 41. We have so much in common. Most of the time I forget about the age gap. English is his second language (he’s filipino) and that’s probably the biggest obstacle. but every day I learn more tagolog and he learns more English. Love can conquer all with enough will.

    The age gap bothers him more because he’s scared for when he grows old and I’ll be the one to care for him. But I think it’s an honour to care for the one you love. You can’t help who you love so when true love comes around, don’t squander it because of a number. That silly little number shouldn’t dictate your happiness.

  • cassandra

    July 27th, 2014 at 6:11 PM

    I’m 25 and I’m so blessed to have found my soul mate in my best friend. He just happens to be 45. His family is much more excepting of our relaunching but they did question it at first. My family however is not supportive in the least. We both have kids from previous relationships and all of our children are comfortable and love our new family. Most people who know me think I’m around 35 and same for him so we really feel like we meet in the middle of both or ages. Our friends all think we ate prefect for each other and they’ve never seen a happier couple. Apparently we make love look easy. Many people have told us they wish they had what we have. True Love knows no age. And I would never let someone stand in the way of the man I love. The only thing he says he doesn’t like about the age difference is that if we eye closet in she he wishes he could have met me sooner so he could have loved me love! He tells me this all the time. I’m just glad to hear other success stories of lovers, Best friends, and soul mates just like him and I! ♡

  • Shaunna

    July 27th, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    I am 15 going out with a 20 year old I told him to wait until im 16 but we love each other my mums happy for us…she got us together she just said no sexual contact until im 16 which we respect :) everyones ok with it but people give him hate for it and I said dont want you getting s*** babe and he said he doesn’t care but I do but I want to be with him? Advice please :* thank youu

  • RC

    July 28th, 2014 at 2:51 PM

    I am currently in a relationship with an 18 year difference. He is my soulmate, love of my life. He brings so much joy to my life. The age difference raised some eyebrows at first but once the people on both of our sides got to know us – they realized we were a perfect match. It isn’t easy – but it’s worth a shot if you feel in your hear it’s right.

  • wynn

    July 30th, 2014 at 2:57 AM

    Im wynn 25 years old i am well educated women and i am always involbe having an old man bf in my life.in my present relationship right now my bf age is 76 at now and im 25 we have 50 years gap is our relationship good?

  • Chase

    August 2nd, 2014 at 4:53 PM

    Im also in a relationship with a big age gap, but no way as big as yours…
    I think that if you’re both happy then go on, but don’t refuse to consider the downsides too like, what will happen in 15 years?

  • vikrant p.

    August 10th, 2014 at 7:12 AM

    Yes dear I also love a 59 year age women and I’m 24. Its 35 years age gap. Love sees nothing and love is always true don’t worry about the world because there is no law to stop u to marriage

  • sunshine

    September 5th, 2014 at 10:41 AM

    Hi I am 52 and my bf is 23….we’ve been together for 4 years…we love each other…he has grown as years pass. In the beginning of the relationship I wasn’t sure if he truly loved me…I caught him cheating 3 times we broke up 3 times but got back together…we just missed each other….I felt used in the beginning..and I had a hard time trusting him…when i first met him he let me pay for everything..he is at least helping to pay for stuff but I still pay for all the bills..he said he’ll marry me one day…I don’t know if he’ll really stay with me till the end…I’m committed to stay with him but I don’t know if he’ll do the the same or is he just saying what I want to hear!

  • baby hope

    September 25th, 2014 at 4:57 AM

    If a 25 yo guy told u that he love u and want to spent the rest of his life with u. The fact that I’m. 34 now and I even told him all about me and accepted me for who I am despite that we haven’t seen each other yet personally. Just video call and chatting. Is it consider as a real love or just a passers by?

  • Serena

    August 2nd, 2014 at 10:40 AM

    Hi I just turned 19 years old and my 35 year old boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. Our relationship is complex and I feel any of our personal issues we have we can fix together, which we usually do. The one thing that wears on me is my family hasn’t met him yet, he’s the same age as my mother and she absolutely hates him and thinks he’s a pedophile. We actually went some time without talking or seeing each other. Some people say if he didn’t have kids close to my age it wouldn’t be so weird. My mom is old fashioned but young and hip and has an opinion about everything. She means everything to me so I really want to know how and if it will ever get easy being with an older man. If my family hates him should I stay with him? Its becoming hard and stressful trying to balance to the lives I now live. And it’s completely my fault and against our culture that he’s yet to meet her but I’m just scared. Sometimes I feel like I’m growing up too fast and wonder if I’ll be able to do all the fun things a young adult does. He’s a good man, just set in his ways and I feel like I’m doing and making all the sacrifices. I know I can never pick anyone over family. It’s not like he’s my husband yet, but we might as well be and treat each other as such and call it each other husband & wife. Which fits cause we bicker like a married couple. He’s well off but hit some legal troubles leading to financial problems cause a big strain in our relationship. Id appreciate any opinions or advice on anything I talked about.
    Thanks in advance!

  • Zodwa

    August 4th, 2014 at 2:12 AM

    What i’ve learn from this relatioship old or young u have some problems along de line but do what makes u happy thats whats count. We know our parents they will alwalys protect us bcause they do want to see us hurt

  • Jalicious

    June 25th, 2016 at 6:34 PM

    So true!

  • Leigha

    August 8th, 2014 at 6:53 AM

    Okay so I’m 17 and began dating a guy who was 25 about a year ago. When we met, i had just turned 16 and he had just turned 25. We are still going strong after being together for almosg two years already. I love him deeply and we plan to get married after im 18, which i will be this year. Any advice on how to bring this relationship out into the open?

  • Brett

    September 21st, 2014 at 6:41 PM

    Wait. 18 is the magic number in most places. Make sure he wont go to jail. Any adult that you tell may turn into agent Smith from the Matrix and it will all come crashing down.

  • baby girl

    August 8th, 2014 at 11:33 AM

    I’m 16 and dating a 36 year old. what should I do? were happy but I don’t want our relationship being a secret

  • Brett

    September 21st, 2014 at 6:32 PM

    If you truly love him and it isnt just about your own personal drama and attention be very very careful what you do and say to ANYONE. This will ruin both your lives If the wrong people learn of your relationship. They will take over everything and do their best to ruin you both and it will be the worst pain of your life. Please listen. Love is blind and this kind of thing happens for several simple reasons. A man has instin cts to choose a mate millions of years old. We are mammals lol. Young women are extremely fertile and smell oh so good to an older man’s buzzing biological alarm clock. Guys are sometimes caught off guard by this when it happens and get into trouble with a young fertile woman not yet legal. I had an older bull mastiff that jumped through a glass window to mate with a young female in her first heat. Society cannot accept that male humans are relatively new in the universe to denying their primal instinct to mate and live on instead of becoming extinct. If you dont feel bad about getting him into serious trouble now just wait. You wont be 16 very long and the rest of your life is a very long time to feel that pain. Be smart, make plans and noone goes to that grim grey meat locker full of hopeless zombies.

  • Michelle

    August 8th, 2014 at 10:41 PM

    I’m an 18 Year old woman now and in a relationship with a 30 year old guy but I love him so much. I do want a life together but sometimes get scared if people will see us different because of our age. I’m afraid to show him off to my mother but he’s my true love. I’ve been with home for 4 years and it’s great.

  • pumkin

    August 15th, 2014 at 7:57 AM

    4 yrs babe???? U were 14 & he was 26??? I guess u rili hv something going since u still together. Above 18 age is irrelevant, even though u still growing but u no longer regarded as a child by law.

  • Chelsea

    August 10th, 2014 at 2:37 PM

    …I’m in love with a handsome, loving, humble wise guy…who’s 45 with a young lively heart…and in a few months I’ll be 25. Many people think that I’m between 28-30 because of my maturity. But even though we seem to be on the same level in life there’s still a 20yr age gap. He’s not a sugar daddy..and a rock star… Or any type of brad Pitt celebrity. He’s just a guy… Like the type of classic real strength kind of a guy… Unlike a lot of today’s fake overly sensitive men that are just looking to be “mommied.” He doesn’t have baggage with ex-wives and children..he’s just a guy.. Who didn’t want to rush to marry someone too quickly…he was waiting for the “one” who could flip his already happy lifestyle upside down…and someone who could challenge is happiness to a whole new level. I’m a multifaceted girl…and often have no problem seeing when a guy is trying to make a move on me. But this guy…is the FIRST guy… That has ever stumped me. I was engaged before and chose not to go through with it because in reality the guy that wanted to marry me didn’t really make me happy and was over manipulative. I dated around a little and then became happy having an independent life…
    Then this happens! I’m in love with this man..I call him “my wiseguy” and honestly don’t know what to do about the reality of the fact that there is a large age difference. It’s driving me crazy!! And by the way I’m never the type to add commentary to public things like this..but today I just felt like reaching out for others opinions. So here it is. ;) *thank you for your time.

  • janine

    August 21st, 2014 at 1:58 PM

    Hi Chelsea,
    I just googled “age differences in relationships” because of my own circumstances and came upon your post. Your relationship sounds wonderful and genuine and I think that if both of you are ok with the age difference and are happy, that’s all that matters. Truly I believe that.
    I know my opinion doesn’t (and shouldn’t) matter in anyone’s situation, but I just wanted to take a minute to tell you. :) I am a female 58 yrs old. I have been told I look like I’m in my early 40’s, so people mistake my age all the time. I’m very active and look & feel younger than my age. People are shocked when I tell them my age. That’s why when I met this new guy, he really had no idea of my age and we didn’t discuss age at all. We have been talking but have not yet dated, although he has asked me. I believe he may be in his 30’s. I think he may think I’m in my early 40’s. I’m scared to approach the subject since we’ve become connected and have so much in common and enjoy our long talks. Problem is my oldest child is his same age if I’m correct in guessing he is 34-38, so there may be 20-24 years difference. I don’t know how this will work out, but I am hoping age will not matter to him also. Good luck to you! :)

  • Lena

    August 27th, 2014 at 2:02 PM

    I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years with a man 16b yrs younger than myself. It is a struggle and it’s becaz I fell in love with him. He says he loves me but i don’t know. sometimes I feel really used. He still wants to do what he wants to do, stay out at night and of course he’s just with the guys. I advise you to run before you get too deep.

  • Lou

    September 1st, 2014 at 7:59 AM

    Hi, I’ve been seeing a guy who’s 19 I’m 32. Age has been very difficult for him to deal with. He has tried to get over the age gap and he says he cant. He is very mature for his age. How did you overcome telling parents etc? I don’t have an issue with age differences and I don’t really care of other peoples opinions, I know I love him and have told him that a relationship is between 2 people and they should respect his choice in partner.

  • Brett

    September 21st, 2014 at 5:31 PM

    I wish everyone the best of luck in their relationships. The answer is that we just have to find a reasonable way to stop the aging process haha. There are reasons for things that happen that we do not understand so we react in fear, anger and suspicion. How will we ever grow if our society forms hit squads for every little evolution? Like fish in a fish tank being picked to death. There are reasonable answers and we have to “listen” or mentally resolve the why’s so that we can heal as a society. On my planet you are all safe to date and marry out of your age and be accepted. Family will be provided for you in the event that your biological family fails you. Thank you and have a nice life.

  • Tammy

    September 1st, 2014 at 12:24 PM

    Hi Janine,

    I read your post and could have cried hearing this guy is as old as your oldest son. I met a guy who is 15 years younger than me and don’t make an issue of our age difference and also don’t push him on my family. My daughter on the other hand has let me know MANY times that it is “GROSS” to date someone that is my sons age. I am devastated and am hurt beyond words.

  • NB

    June 27th, 2016 at 12:10 PM

    Hi,
    As a word of encouragement. I also am in my 50’s and look 40. My husband is 20 yrs younger than me. We dated for two years and have been married for two years.
    I finally got that the age difference, after both our initial shock wore off, did not matter to him when he explained his spiritual beliefs. We are very happy and everyone who meets us and are around us for any time say we are perfect for each other.

  • Alexandra

    August 13th, 2014 at 12:38 PM

    I am a woman now in my early 50’s. Six of my friends all married men who were considerably older than them – one was 18 and he was 46, another was 21 and he was 48 etc. All of them said at the time that it was love. Now, 30 years down the line all of them admit that it wasn’t. Every one of them has had numerous affairs – two ended up running off with guys their own ages, two ended up nursing their husbands into the grave because they didn’t want to lose the financial commitment that was involved in the marriage, the other two have long term boyfriends about their own age which they hide from their elderly husbands. Their initial reasons for marrying? I wanted to get away from my parents and he had his own home …. I figured that I would never have to work and be looked after …. I was a church goer and he was high up in the church and I figured it was god’s will …. I thought I fancied him at the time but realized later that it was the freedom from parents and college that I liked. Be aware, these kind of drastic age differences can really catch up with you later.

  • pumkin

    August 15th, 2014 at 8:06 AM

    I once dated a guy twice my age. I loved his maturity, financial stability bt ad happy as he made me but sometimes he was more of my father than bf. I cldnt talk back at him, or shout at him when he made me angry. That groomed me into a very strong woman. Bt we broke up hey aint life not fair after I had chosen the relationship over my parents who ddnt want to hear if him. Now having been there i wldnt date a guy more than 10 years older than me. I dnt want to be stuck with a grandpa. I want someone we will grow old together with. Not age first than me. Sorry!

  • Haelstrom

    August 24th, 2014 at 4:42 PM

    Not to reopen an old thread, but it found this tonight. I’m 17 and have been with my 34 year old bf for over a month now. It sounds like a short time, but I absolutely love him to bits, he’s my soulmate and I can’t believe I didn’t find him sooner. He has his own place and a good job, which makes me appreciate his maturity, as he likes to ‘spoil his girl’ as he tells me. He’s the most loving, caring, amazing man ever and I owe so much to him for loving me just as much as I love him. I was keeping it a secret up until now, then a mutual friend of ours called me tonight and told me how happy she was for us, and how she knew we would work, and commented on how happy we were together. I told my mum as well, and when I told her I was scared that she would disown me for it, she told me she would never. I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful set of family and friends who can accept this.

  • Amber

    August 27th, 2014 at 8:19 PM

    Hi everyone :)
    So there is this guy that I really like. I am nearly 18 and he is 36 and he is such a gentleman. He makes me feel beautiful and special. Some people have been saying that this age difference is too much but should I just not care what they think?

  • anonymous

    September 15th, 2014 at 3:48 PM

    Be careful and get to know them first. sometime guys just want to play with us younger girl but you never know maybe he’s different give yourself a chance and don’t be scared but be smart and don’t get pier pressure to do anything you don’t want to do wish you the best and just keep reading more comments trust me it mit help you make your decision..

  • Lena

    August 28th, 2014 at 8:46 AM

    I am in a relationship with a man 30 years younger than me. He is 29 and I am 60 years. We have been together for a year now but do not live together on a daily basis as we work in different cities. When we are together we get on really well and I feel loved and cared for. We learn lots from each other as we come from different cultures. He had lots of patience and thinks before he speaks and he enhances my life in many ways. I always look forward to our weekly phone calls. I have always preferred younger men, and neither of us really bother about what strangers think, however for both of us, there are family members we don’t feel comfortable telling we are in a relationship. Recently I have been rethinking if we have a future together. His 3 year old son has just come to live with him as the mother is no longer able to care for him. He also has a 10 year old at boarding school. Having a 3 yr old around when we are together, has really changed the dynamics for me. When I talked with him about it, my bf said his son would not always need so much of his time and attention, but I am not sure I want to go through all the parenting and step mom challenges of having such a young child. Another challenge for me is that financially, I earn a lot more than he does, and sometimes I feel burdened by being the main provider. We have discussed how this will change in future, as when I retire he will still be working. I know this is a selfish way to feel, but I am finding it difficult after being financially independent for the past 15 years. Sometimes I feel insecure about the relationship lasting although he always assures me of his love and long term commitment. He is interested in marriage but I am holding back and want to wait until we have been together a few more years. For now I am just enjoying the love we have together. But I am now wondering if 30 year age gap marriages can ever be successful, especially for older woman younger man relationships.

  • tameca

    August 29th, 2014 at 8:36 AM

    im so sorry to say this but im am goin to be direct he is just hanging on to you for financial stability anything is possible but be realistic it ridiculous im not judging just my opinion im dating a guy rite now 15 yrs younger and it dont feel promising and at times embarrassing just enjoy the moment and guard your heart cause it a 50_50 chance he may leave thats what im doin

  • becky

    August 31st, 2014 at 4:12 PM

    Hi iam 28 and married to what I class as my soulmate and best friends. He is 43. We have never seen age as a problem even before we started a relationship together we could open up to each other about any thing where really close friends. We have now been together 11 years married for 4 and have three wonderful children. I think as long as ur happy and live each day as it comes then age doesnt matter. I know it will probably get harder as we get older but hoping that we can stay as strong as I feel we are now after 11 years x x

  • Eleanor

    September 2nd, 2014 at 4:45 PM

    I am 19, having feelings for a man that’s in his mid 30’s. Is that too much of an age difference?

  • anonymous

    September 15th, 2014 at 3:44 PM

    It seems that way at first but thats a mental thing if you guys have a true connection you won’t feel the difference just go with your instinct and as people say go with the flow. if the guys or girl is worth it and once you get to know him you’ll know and decide what is good for you. Good luck hope you the best on whatever decision you make..

  • Louisa

    September 3rd, 2014 at 5:55 AM

    im not sure i met someone who I assumed was approx 24, hes 21 im 33,love concers all but surely cruel to be kind and set them free is the mature option…. Either way you can still be great mates. Every cloud, blah blah

  • Vanessa

    September 3rd, 2014 at 6:59 AM

    Hi guys, just wanted to share my story with you guys, I am 19 years old and I’m dating a 36 year old man, at first I thought he was younger (33) but we’re really happy, my parents of course still don’t accepted and we’ve decided to keep a secret only our close friends know we’re together, but I am really in live with him as he is with me, we’ve know each other for 8 years and started dating about a year and a half ago, he is a very mature and funny guy as well as I am, sometimes to funny that I even feel older than him. We do plan a future together, a little scary but I’m ready to start a new adventure with my soulmate

  • Cassidy

    September 3rd, 2014 at 3:06 PM

    I’m 21. He turned 50 this year. I was 17 when we first met and I fell for him pretty quickly. He fell for me too apparently but I later discovered he was already married, he married less than 6 months before I met him, a few days before I turned 17.

    We had an instant connection. I haven’t ever felt that way with anyone before or even after meeting him. We thought we could be just friends. We did try but we were playing with fire and in the end we had an affair and his wife found out about me. It wasn’t pretty and I lost him then.

    That was 2 and a half years ago but I still love him. I hate myself for it. I hate that I hurt his wife. She didn’t deserve this.

    He said he loved me but I don’t think he ever did. All I did was hurt someone and hurt myself. He was the only one who won and I think that’s the danger of an age gap. I wasn’t old enough to handle that. I’m not innocent but he did use my age to get what he wanted.

  • Brett

    September 21st, 2014 at 7:26 PM

    You are young enough to make a mistake like that and be forgiven. The older adults are capable of working out their affairs without involving you. If most men are happy at home they will not feel insecure and the need to roam. His wife will blame him but it isnt uncommon that married men are just glorified cat toys and they are anything but feeling the love. Men have physical and emotional needs just like anyone else. Two sides to every story. Some wives stop having sex with their husbands after so many years but they never stop looking at Magic Mike and their sons’ hot buddies no matter what they say. Sex is important emotionally and physically. You met that need and she should know why so how could she be surprised. At your age dating for a few years would be a great idea just to make sure.

  • Kaur_Forever

    September 4th, 2014 at 3:01 PM

    Hi , As I am 21 year old and my boyfriend is 31 year old we met on social webiste and from the last 8months we are dating. In first 4months we were really very happy and now things have been changed he is too busy with his work(He is a businessman) now he doesn’t have much time for me. We are even planning to get married this year but I don’t know things are not good enough. He has no time for me As I am sure that he is not doing any double timing with me but ya every time he is getting frustrated and irritated with his work load. And now we are thinking of changing our relationship in a sexualized way. I don’t know what do.
    Please help me with this
    Should I marry him or Also have sex with him or not?

  • crystal

    September 9th, 2014 at 8:54 PM

    Hello I am kinda in the same situation as you I am 21 dating a 33 year old. I think you guys need to sit down together and see were you stand as a couple and if there week any doubts that cone up then you guys need to wait.. because if you do not fix them now they will only get worst

  • Jean

    September 4th, 2014 at 4:52 PM

    Hi,
    I am a 34 year old and. I am in a relationship with a 54 year old male. Started off as friends then one thing led to the other. Happy and blessed! He told me from the gate what he wanted. Will be getting engaged by December. The both of us were married once and divorced. No complaints! Even though folks don’t like it. Who Cares! Be Happy!

  • Jade

    September 6th, 2014 at 2:45 AM

    I love reading these comments and it’s reassurred me. I’m a 43 year old woman dating a 20 year old guy. He’s good to me and my kids. Honestly never been treated so well and feel so loved…. Some people are trying to wreck the relationship and call it disgusting but I’ve never been happier and content. We have so much in common. The only thing against it is the nasty people who are judging us and are against it! … 4 months on and I’ve never felt so loved and wanted…. This Page is great and I’m glad I read it. Wehave many obstacles to avoid but who knows. All I know is I’m very happy

  • Mish

    September 11th, 2014 at 5:59 AM

    So nice to see a situation similar to mine. I’m 41 and he is 21.
    I often worry that it won’t last due to our age gap but the truth is that he is the kindest,most gentle man I have ever known.
    Unfortunately his family is not accepting at all.
    We are planning on marrying soon so I really wish they would look past the exterior and realise that it’s an honest,loving friendship that blossomed into love.
    I wish you all the best and would appreciate any advice you can offer in dealing with being the older woman in a relationship(an absolute first for me).

  • sara

    September 20th, 2014 at 2:14 PM

    Hey ! I’m getting married to a man who is 26 years older than me ! I really love him so much .. But people are saying it won t work !! Please can u give advise me ?!!

  • Cindy

    September 6th, 2014 at 6:37 PM

    Hello .. my name is Cindy n i’m 17 years old ..in a relationship with a 62 year old man. The age difference is immense..and trust me it was weird that i fell in love with him…like really weird. We met on a dating site and we connected instantaneously. His voice,his sweet words,everything about him makes me crazy in wanting him more and more. Never in my entire life did i think i’d fall in love with a 62 year old but i know that the feelings i have for him are real. i have never met anyone like him. he’s like an 18 year old, so hyper and funny and full of life. He’s like the guy ive always wanted and he makes me very happy. ^_^

  • Gabriella

    October 10th, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    You’re definitely going through a phase. There’s no way a relationship with that big of an age difference will work out. Sorry to break it to you hon. You’re not even out of highschool yet. You’ll meet other people throughout your young adulthood and you’ll eventually realize. Honestly.

  • Jess

    September 7th, 2014 at 7:44 PM

    It’s comforting to read about so many people whose experiences mirror my own. I’m 21 and l’ve been dating a 47 year old for just shy of 11 months. We’ve known each other for almost two years and it developed gradually until neither of us could deny it any longer. I was very reluctant in the beginning because of the age gap, and l was afraid to tell anyone for a long time.

    Now, however, l’ve accepted the solidity of our relationship and l’m proud to go anywhere with him. I love him enough that others’ reactions don’t bother me. My family has been wonderfully accepting. They can tell how good he is to me. He has always taken care of me and made my life better, helped me grow as a person.

    We talk about the future, about marriage and kids, and it sounds wonderful. It will be new for us both. Unfortunately, neither of us are very stable financially and l’m still finishing school. I’m not ready to have kids yet, but he’s getting older and l worry about not having him around in good health once we do. He never pressures me in the slightest, but l think about it often.

    We’re so happy and l want this to last. At the same time, l can’t ignore the future, especially when it comes to raising a family. Can this work?

  • tori

    September 8th, 2014 at 5:39 PM

    Okay so I’m 15 yrs old and this boy I like is 17 and said I was to young and he leaded me on and I need help I really like him too…

  • Angie

    September 9th, 2014 at 6:58 PM

    Hey everybody, I just searched 20 years age gap relationships and there we go Im here.. I read all the comments and Im really happy that im not the only one in this situation. Im 26 and my dance teacher is 45.. i feel something for him and he sure does for me.. he has already told me he likes me.. but im not sure to let myself to love him.. i cant resist loving him and at the same time im so afraid of future! what will happen 20 years from now…? what am i gonna do if i find myself in a relationship after 20 years and i regret it?? ive always loved to be with someone much older than me, never happened but now that i have im not sure if i should risk and fall in love with him… is there anybody that has been married to someone 20 years older and still be in love??? i dont mean 3 4 years i mean over 15 16 years?

  • aakash

    September 10th, 2014 at 5:39 AM

    I’m a 33 years and 5 months and my gf is 17 years old. we were dating from last 2 years and we love each other very much. We have so many interests in common. we are living happily right now as a boyfrnd girlfrnd. now my concern is we are planning for a marriage. my question is our age diffrence…is this right gap for marriage? will my age become a problem in the future for her? like sexual relationship or anything else?? can anyone guide me or advice me what i should do because i really want to spend my life with her but i am stoping myself with these questions. advice me plz.

  • anonymous

    September 15th, 2014 at 3:35 PM

    You should just talk to her about how you feel and make sure if that she doesnt feel the same let her know that your open and will understand whatever decision she makes and see how she truly feels and if she willing to be with you don’t think it to much and love her to the fullest I was in your position and I happy and still together till this day and as happy as ever. Just one tip there are a lot of opticals that you guys are gunna go through but just reinsure her and yourself that your guy’s love Is strong enough to get through anything and everything hope you guys the best ☺

  • Poop

    September 11th, 2014 at 11:48 AM

    I am 36 and my boyfriend is 50. We knew each other for several years and hung out as friends a few times before we ever dated – been dating 19 months now. Now we are living together. I’ve been divorced twice (first husband was 4yrs older, second was 6yrs older than me) – he’s never been married. I have never had such a healthy relationship in all my life. Most of the time our age difference isn’t even something I think about — I am sure it’s going to be more difficult in 15-20 years, but even knowing that, I really want to be with this guy.

  • Alicia

    October 6th, 2014 at 5:13 PM

    I am in that same situation and really dont want to make a mistake by this age difference but he truly makes me happy. Still thinking on this one.

  • mzDee

    September 12th, 2014 at 9:25 AM

    Help me, I’ve recently gotten involved with a young man that is 29 two years older than my oldest son. I am 46, what others think mean nothing to me , my issue is im affraid to open up my heart to him, and don’t get me wrong this guy addores me , both my kids like him and vice versa, I just feel like im doing something wrong by being with him, and will pusg him away, when he make me laugh, smile, we have so many things in common, we think alike, he’s a male version of me, caring , protective genital and he tells me he love me i know he means it, what every woman wants right, so wht my problem.

  • Tasha

    September 12th, 2014 at 11:56 PM

    I, 29.with a man 54.I met him at my place of employment. I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship at the time of meeting..he was so nice and we had so many things in common everything was the same like we were the same soul everything I said he did the same thing or like this and that we been dating now since November he lives in Tennessee with his wife and son who is 20 and was renting a house in Florida when we Met he is to come over to my apartment and bring me GiFt.for me this is overwhelming I’ve always been kind of the man in the relationship in other words I always pick losers. I fell in love with him but now it’s becoming unbearable. I think he has a fatal attraction unfortunately I put my cell phone in his name if I do not call him on the phone and called the people that I’ve called looking for me we are once at his sisters house for a Valentine’s Day dinner party and he was telling everybody how he needs to know where I am at all times and has to talk to me all day or be with me kind of scary. I was raised by my mother and 4 children in my house growing up my mother is a very good role model she worked all day and went to school at night for dental assistant. she always chose the wrong man. I watched our things get burnt up in my yard at 7 years old coming back from church I have a very big problem with trusting people he’s broke my trust and I feel like I cannot trust him he’s always freaking out on me. I’m kind of a party girl he’s 54 married to the same woman still for about twenty seven years they’re going through a divorce she 2 years ago insisted on getting the divorce he claims that he is the whole marriage. his 21 year old daughter and 20 year old son both knowledge. This one time we’re arguing so bad at my apartment that and locked out of my apartment using the top chain.
    He had the key to my bottom lock with the police officer downstairs he kicked the door in. I don’t know why I still like him or even love him I’m so confuse being older than me I would think that he is so financially secure and know how to budget his money but just to make me happy he will Pawn his car title. I’m nervous and I’m getting older and I feel like I might be wasting my time..as well as his. it seems that he does not understand me but then again he does. I feel like he’s a people pleaser so anything I say he says me to or agree with it even though he doesnt we do have a lot in common our futures. we want the same things we are both great people more so than anything else so that worries me that he is just trying to please me I’m moving 10 hours away from my family and this is still not good enough for him. I do like to go out and meet people I like to take walks and I’m more of a loner she gets quite upset if I do not tell him every little details. sometimes when he is in Tennessee and I’m in Florida we would talk on the phone for about 3 hours to 5 hours a daY..he’s always saying that he’s worried that something is going to happen to me and that I live a carefree life and never think anything could happen. I actually am a worry wart I just don’t know if I’m home able to face the reality. also Reality of him Being much older than me. people often talk crap about us at restaurants because he talks really loud old fashioned sayings and younger crowd people make fun of them. this really irritates me and also upsets me. I am madly in love with him and at the same time I just wanna punch him in the face like a fbi agent. we are currently in Florida for my sisters 18th birthday we’re so broke that we’re staying at my grandmothers house. I’ve never brought a guy over to her house besides when I Got married and then we were at our house. I’m definitely one of them type of people I do not like public displays of affection I really would not care even if he was Brad Pitt. I also was abused as a child my stepfather beat my mother.I just have a little trust in it and he’s already broke my trust in so many ways. I don’t know what to do. his own sister said that he is sounds like he’s gone AWOL in needs rehab. I’m just so confused.

  • Treasure

    September 13th, 2014 at 9:49 AM

    Hi I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 30.. He’ll be 31 one our first anniversary at the end of the month (29th). I love him to pieces, we have the same sense of humour, same taste in music and movies. We’re literally best friends. But in recent months he’s got a little distant emotipnally due to the mother of his kids stopping him from seeing the kids due to their own issues. I’ve been supporting him through it and I get everyone has a way of dealing with things, being 30 he’s obviously set in that way. But I wish he’d open up to me more about things instead of bottling it up.. He was in care so I guess it’s a coping method he’s probably had since then. The age gap is far from an issue. I mean yeah we get looks cos not only is he older but I’m black and he’s white; and my mum isn’t best pleased but none of that bothers me. I want us to be there for each other til the end, have our own kids and stuff, after his mum and ex have hurt him I don’t wanna be another woman to cause him pain in his life. People say he’s just taking advantage of me which I don’t see at all. I’d say the only difficulty is due to me as I was in an emotionally abusive relationship prior to him and it messed me up without me realising. My fear of rejection stops me from initiating things and saying certain things I need to. But he’s helping me get better which I love him for. It’s been a year and I still get butterflies waiting for him to open the door, I still get embarrassed when he’s generous and I still feel like a Princess when we cuddle. Life is what you make it and age gaps is the last thing we should worry about, if it’s for you and going amazing carry on. If it’s not leave it and find something that is. If someone were to tell me 5 years ago that when I’m 18 I’ll meet a man on his 30yh birthday and fall in love with him I’d tell them they’re pulling my legs lol. But I did and I’m happy. Stay blessed x

  • Rose

    September 23rd, 2014 at 2:08 AM

    This sounds a lot like me and my man (except him having kids, and we’re both white). I’m 21 and he’s 34. And he’s definitely set in his ways. Haha :) We have the same sense of humor, like a lot of the same things (but not so much that it makes things boring), and he looks/acts so much younger than he is. We never get into big fights (just petty arguments and little things we do that irritate each other) and when we do argue, we cool down, then we both apologize, even if we were the person that did no wrong. I can’t stay mad at him. He just gives me that smirk, says something funny and I’m laughing. It’s weird, because we’re both very introverted, quiet people, but we bring each other out of our shells. It’s indescribable… :) he wants me to move in with him, go on adventures together and for me to have his kids :)

  • anonymous

    September 15th, 2014 at 3:23 PM

    Hi I’m 19 my boyfriend he’s just turned 31 my parents had a problem at first when we started to date but then they saw what I saw in him the amazing human being that he is. He doesn’t have children or ex wife’s and really the age difference isn’t a issue between us. I have don’t have any issue with telling people his age but I do get those faces like what the heck! But really I don’t care and you guys shouldn’t either.Remember love has no age and you guys will know that by reading more of these wonderful comment’s they really help me with lot of thing I thought about age difference to. Just remember live life day by day don’t worry about the future to much it will drive you crazy. If you you love your partner enough don’t think twice and together fight for your love no matter what sometime things just work out and if they don’t just don’t worry they’re many fish in the sea. Live life and love if you have the chance. Xoxo

  • josh

    September 16th, 2014 at 8:45 PM

    I’m 20 and dating a 14 year old… she’s treated me better than anyone ever has and we love each other.

  • kitty

    October 6th, 2014 at 10:28 AM

    Josh i know it sucks dating someone younger im 10years younger then the man i love im 15 he’s 25 we see each other every few months an snerek around he keeps wishing i was 18 but thats not for 3more years he agreed to marry me when the time is right. He asked me on my birthday(october 2) if i would marry him i said yes because if your bond is strong it only gets stronger if you both put alot in to it. No fooling around with others no flirting nothing just you an your lover. Hope things go well for you

  • Anonymous

    October 13th, 2014 at 8:00 PM

    I fully agree! I’m in love with a man who’s 10 years older than me, and people keep telling me he can’t love me because of the gap. He doesn’t really know I exist around the town which is sadder. So it’s kind of one sided at the moment. Hopefully things get better. Wish you all the best of luck! :)

  • Ang

    October 30th, 2014 at 2:31 PM

    Hey, I understand how you feel, at the moment I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 22. But in two months in gonna turn 16 which is alot better.. Anyways i am more mature for my age as everyone would say and I agree with them, because I have been through alot.. You might think that in really childish saying this but if you got to meet me you’d understand. I live together with my mother , and my mother doesn’t really approve my relationship. One moment she’s okay with it, and the other she isn’t. She’s an alcoholic so its tuff. I honestly feel really miserable about this. Alot of people are saying horrible stuff to me cause of my relationship as well but I don’t really mind, but since it comes from your own mother.. Not cool . Our relationship is just amazing we have some connection that ive never felt before, he treats me like a queen. Its just undescribable. We both motivate each other to do better at everything, we’re also like best friends. I really love him .. Just don’t know about the whole mother situation , as i’ve never been in a situation like this..

  • ella

    September 18th, 2014 at 3:39 PM

    So I met this great guy, thought he was younger, but I think he’s 27 years older than me.(google research haha) He looks so young! I’m 19. I really like him, he’s treating me well so far. We’ve been on a couple of dates and the funny thing is that he didn’t even ask how old I am nor said how old he is. I never thought I would feel this way for a guy his age. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not sure if this is his middle age crisis. What do you think? And is our age difference too big?

  • sara

    September 20th, 2014 at 2:09 PM

    Hey ! How is your relationship is foing so far ?! Please i need some informations because i’m so in love with a man who is 26 years older than me !!

  • ella

    September 21st, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    It’s going well. He calls me and texts me everyday. He said he fell for me. At some point I can see that he’s being honest but it just pops on my mind – what if he’s a player?
    How is your relationship going?

  • Darwin G

    September 19th, 2014 at 8:23 PM

    I’m 51 years old and in a relationship with a girl half my age. I’m not bragging but I attract younger women, as I look much younger than my age but am mature–unlike most 20-something year old men. I am established and women are attracted to my biker lifestyle. Although this is an ego trip–going out with a young beautiful girl–I know it is temporary. In the end, I would be the one hurt. Can I end a relationship that makes me “feel” great? Yes.

  • Lalla

    September 19th, 2014 at 8:34 PM

    So good to read this article and the especially the comments. A few months ago I never would have thought I would feel this way about a guy 22 years younger, who is 16. Yikes. Nothing physical has happened yet because I have a total mental block with his age (I have gotten over the age difference) and it was just NOT a good time circumstance-wise anyway. He is far away for now, and we won’t see each other again until next year when he’s 17, thank goodness. He has underestimated how his friends and family would react… I guess he was just so happy he had to share. They probably think he is truly bonkers, especially since we haven’t even been physical. Anyway, I can’t even say we “fell in love”… I’ve done that about 4 or 5 times and this is different. It was like we were remembering and recognizing each other. It was just THERE, like how the sun is always there, it will always rise, you can’t stop it or control it. It it was just regular attraction I wouldn’t pursue it, but this isn’t ordinary, and I’m going to see where it goes no matter what. We are totally looking forward to going with the flow once we see each other again, that is for sure. ;). Thanks for listening, and good luck to you all.

  • Mina

    September 22nd, 2014 at 6:15 PM

    I am very much in love with a man 20 years my senior. I am 30 and he is 50. We are both divorced. I fell in love two years ago and I know that ever since he has a huge crush on me, too. But he doesn’t want to date me because of the age gap. I am totally devastated. I am trying to convince him since about one year but am not very successful. This hurts so much.

  • Norah

    October 1st, 2014 at 11:16 PM

    In a way, it’s freeing. I feel my most with him. One thing I’ve come to love is how self aware he is. He’s past the stages of soul searching and midlife crisis, he’s a man sublimely aware of his character, a character I happen to adore. It’s not difficult. It’s balance, communication, patience, fights, ect. It’s a relationship. It isn’t a norm and there are looks on occasion. He’s dated young before; young, hot, ambitious less women. In me he found youth & beauty, but he also found; a nurturing woman, ambition, laughter, simplicity. And in him I found a man that challenges me, makes me laugh, a man of passion….
    Our story isn’t set, but I’m grateful for his presence. A woman in her early 20s and a man 35 years her senior.
    The more I live, the less I’d rather live to please others and rather live to leave no regrets of the things I always wanted to do.

  • David

    October 3rd, 2014 at 7:24 PM

    Mina,
    Be open and communicate how you feel about him. Maybe he worries, like me, that being 57 and loving a 32 year old woman will be unfair to her in 10-15 years. I’m falling in love with a beautiful redhead and her three kids. I worry about how she will be in 10-15 years. Not about fidelity, but here being in her prime when I’m older.
    I’m .holding back emotionally with her but I know her kids see how much I love her. I have approached the issue a few times to see her pull back as well. Time to talk, see what his fears are.
    Best of luck.

  • Rose

    September 23rd, 2014 at 2:30 AM

    I’m so glad to see others like myself here… I’m 21, 22 in a few weeks and my man is 34, 35 two months after my birthday. He looks and acts so much younger than he is! I used to be one of the people that frowned upon large age gaps, thinking it was unnatural and disgusting. When i met this guy, i thought he was only 26! That used to be the highest age gap is consider. But after we hung out and talked a few times, had an intimate night together, then found out each other’s ages (i had just turned 20, he, 33), we both felt horrible about what we had done. Things were incredibly awkward between us for awhile, but once we got over the age difference, things were great! I feel like I’m the older one and he’s the younger one because he’s so energetic and silly for his age. He looks absolutely amazing for his age- very fit and no gray hairs/wrinkles yet. We know his family isn’t going to understand, so he doesn’t plan to reveal my age for awhile. He is the most amazing guy I’ve ever met. Considering there was an instant attraction, i thought he was younger and he thought i was older than i am, i don’t think i have daddy issues, not that he has a midlife crisis…. It is what it is.

  • Kay

    September 24th, 2014 at 8:08 PM

    Hi All,

    I am 38 and I am dating a 20 year old man. I have known him for many years. I recently went through a divorce from a 15 year marriage and he was there for me more than anyone else. We have been dating for 9 months now and I love him with all my heart. My family and daughter accept him and his family accepts me. We listen to the same music and like the same things. We balance each other in amazing ways, he keeps me youthful and I share my life experience to help him grow as a person. We have taught each other so much and I am having the time of my life. In your opinion could a relationship like this with this age gap last long term?

  • snipershot317

    September 27th, 2014 at 7:58 PM

    Question:COULD A 21 YEAR OLD MAN DATE A 21 YEAR OLD WOMAN.
    ANSWER»»Well it doesnt matter as much because you can say he is a grown man and you are a grown woman. By that being said you guys are not teenagers so the age of the difference between two grown persons and two teenagers are 2 different points of view. But it all depens on how mature you both are and how you think and how well you get along. So just try to get along and used to him and if you do so, the chances of it being a long term relationship will last.
    I HOPE THIS GAVE YOU A LITTLE NOD AND GOOD LUCK.

  • Lyn

    October 10th, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    Hello Kay,
    I am 47 and dating someone who is 29. We have been in this relationship for 4 years. We are on love but have keapt out relationship and feeling for eachother a secret from others. He does not think his parents would approve and he would like to have children, I love children but my children are grown up and I do not want to start over. He too was there to comfort me thru a break up and I comforted him thru his. We get along great and have a lot on common but feel frustrated with this impossible love.
    Any advice?

  • Ciara Rose

    October 12th, 2014 at 8:36 PM

    I do not not date younger for this reason…. if he’s still worried about his parents then he still on a ride… if you don’t mind taking this ride with him you two will probably be okay but if it gets too much for you know when to get off the ride… meaning… I truly believe that.. there may be something between the two of you but he’s just enjoying himself for the time being by 25 you know want enough to tell others about what you have related or not… he needs to stand up to those parents friends of his and let them know what you two really are… but if this continues too much longer… I advise a therapy session or two would help to better understand each other

  • ideh

    October 18th, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    Am considering breaking up with my girlfriend. She is six years older than I and that has been my worries. It quite obvious that we both love each other and I do break up with her, it seems as disgrace to her and betrayer due to what she has gone through in relationships before. Am just worrying about the future and I don’t know I may live to regret it later. I need your candid advice.

  • anita

    September 25th, 2014 at 5:31 AM

    Am 27yrs old and my boyfriend is 24yrs old, am scared of telling him because he loves me he thinks am 23yrs old. Should I keep the secret or I should let him know? But am scared of loosing him.

  • mouni

    September 25th, 2014 at 9:41 AM

    hi my name is mouni and my partner and me are having am age gap of 14 years and i wanted to know that this can be ok im 21 and hes 34 how can we manage it are thereb any problems regarding having kids and other issues plzzz rply me my answer thanku

  • Brian

    September 29th, 2014 at 2:59 AM

    I was in a love traingle with a girl whom.I thought was 23, and im 30. As it turned out, she was a 19 yr whom ran away from home.While dating me, she omitted,
    That she lived with her 47yr landlord whom stop taking her rent and they slept together..she had cut me off,because the landlord wanted more and was jealous that we had sex. She has told me that its not love but respect thats y shes his now live in girlfriend…..but I know that she with him.because she has nowhere to go, and the options are less appealing give his large house, and wealth….shes comfortable with the arrangement…the setup and she stable. He gets a ypung pretty girl to wake up to and cook and have sex with..its an exchange but its not alturistic. Mean their connection is conditional on sex/resource exchange. I suspect most age gaps are like this….I refused to believe that a girl would be with a broke old man….and wealthy old man be with an ugly young girl.After the insecure old man called me, I went to the white pages called her father, who hasnt seen her in years……point is look at your motivations in being with person, dont say its “love”, when that love is based upon a market of goods and services.

  • Nanaa

    September 29th, 2014 at 8:33 PM

    I’m a 18 year old girl dating a 24 year old man , and it’s long distance , we get along well and he’s very respectful and kind but I’m afraid my family won’t accept him because he’s older and he loves so far and also I doubt he can financially support me but we have been secretly dating for a while

  • Liz

    October 1st, 2014 at 7:46 AM

    Naana, dats not a problem. D age difference is only 6 yrs. Am 19 n my guy z 39, wat do say about dat? Ur so cuul

  • logan

    September 30th, 2014 at 6:30 PM

    Hello I am a 23year old woman dating a 43 year old man and have been for over two years. I am in complete love with him and we have had our ups and downs. I do often think tho if I am just a stage in his life or just a dumb young girl that’s falling for a guy and his charming ways. But I don’t think he would have stuck around this long. My family doesn’t fully accept this relationship yet especially my father. Just wondering if I should stick it out or get out

  • lesego m.

    October 1st, 2014 at 12:08 PM

    Hi, im 23 years and my boyfriend is 36 years. I truly love him and he makes me happy but now the problem is my family.
    I haven’t introduced him but they already making a big deal of this by calling him a sugar daddy behind my back.

    I’m not sure how to deal with this…

  • jennifer

    October 2nd, 2014 at 1:01 PM

    Im 24 engaged to a 53 year old man we get along great but he wants me ti lie bout my age and say im 32 his kids hate me and so does his family i would never let anyone come inbetween me and my son his are my age and he says not to worry bout it i dont want him to regret anything or blame me is the love of ur life better to let him go for his own sake and i deal with pain the what if’s

  • Mouse

    October 2nd, 2014 at 10:40 PM

    Hi my name is mouse and I’m 17 years old. The man I am seeing is 42. I will be 18 in a month and then the situation might not seem as dangerous. But right now it’s gotten to the point where my family members might find out and I’m so scared to lose him. I’ve truly grown to love this man and the thought of not being able to be with him is unbearable. I don’t know how I would convince my family to except my decisions and I know that they would talk a lot of shit about him, which could wind up ruining his life. I know to protect us both I should walk away. But that’s just not fair. Why should we suffer just to please other people? I want to be with this man so bad but because he is so much older than me it is socially unacceptable. I don’t know what to do.

  • GoodTherapyAdmin

    GoodTherapyAdmin

    October 3rd, 2014 at 9:51 AM

    Thanks for your comment, Mouse. If you would like to consult with mental health professional, please feel free to return to our homepage, http://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. If you’re looking for a counselor that practices a specific type of therapy, or who deals with specific concerns, you can make an advanced search by clicking here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html

    Once you enter your information, you’ll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. From this list you can click to view our members’ full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. You are also welcome to call us for assistance finding a therapist. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time; our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext. 1.

    Take Care,
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  • cindy

    October 7th, 2014 at 8:49 AM

    I told my parents if they didn’t let me see him I would leave and they wouldn’t see me again,but I was 16,he was 33.Been married for 22 years.I love him he’s taught me so much,would I let our daughter date an age gap Hell No

  • landi

    October 14th, 2014 at 6:13 AM

    I I’m 30 and my love of my life is 24. We happy when we together and sad when we apart. We can’t be a real couple because his mother doesn’t approve of me. I have a 11 year old daughter and counts against my favor. She wants him to date someone with out a child. What can I do,it would break my heart losing him but it sometimes feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.

  • Truth

    October 3rd, 2014 at 5:40 AM

    Many of us men today that are still single would be very happy if we could meet a good old fashioned down to earth woman.

  • Anonymous

    October 3rd, 2014 at 8:48 AM

    I’m 22 and my boyfriend is 38. We have a daughter together who will be turning three in a few months and I’ve been with him for four years. I’m very much in love with him. You’ll know if you have that right person you’ll be hspending the rest of your life with.

  • fahyte

    October 3rd, 2014 at 3:54 PM

    hi. im so in luv with this guy. im 17 and he’s 34. introduced him to my parents and already is a family member. they knw i wanna get married to him. but my mum is really concerned about his age and i really luv him so much. i dont wanna lose him.

  • Nina

    October 3rd, 2014 at 9:44 PM

    I am 24 years old and I am in a relationship with a man who is 31. We have been together since I turned 20. The age gap between us is not a big deal and I love him. I don’t think love should have a limit on age. If you love someone love them. (Except when it’s against the law) but you could always wait for the right moment. Because when you love someone you can’t just be their friend. Love has no boundaries and love has no color in which it loves. Age shouldn’t matter and a person is only as old as they feel.

  • Carrie

    October 4th, 2014 at 7:42 PM

    I’m 18 years old and my boyfriend is 34. we have been together for a little over 8 months and I’ve never been concerned about the age difference. Ive always been somewhat of an old soul, and my boyfriend is kind of a young soul. we compliment each other’s personalities because of that I think. the list of things we have in common in always growing but we have our differences too, which keeps things interesting and it feels like we never stop learning new things about each other. he is always there for me and shows his love for me in so many different ways everyday. we’ve been through tough times together and we both agree it was worth it. many judge the age difference and have their opinions of our relationship, but the people close to us have always been supportive because we make each other truly happy and better people at the end of the day.

  • Amanda

    October 5th, 2014 at 8:54 AM

    I am a 23 year old girl whose been with a 33 year old man for three years. My family is ok with that I don’t think our age difference is as much as some others but I feel the same as him when we’re together not younger. There’s nothing wrong with somebody being older if that’s what they both want. Plus older men have been dating younger women forever. What’s the big deal? We understand eachother fine I think once your both adults the age difference doesn’t make a difference.

  • Sarah

    October 6th, 2014 at 3:59 PM

    I admire relationships like this because it proves to show…that any kind of love is capable despite age. It takes two to tango.
    I would love some advice…or some perspective..on, a 20 year old female seeing a 46 year old male. ?!
    All of the things mentioned above have been taken into consideration.
    Thank you

  • Evie

    October 8th, 2014 at 4:09 PM

    Hi Sarah,
    I am 26 and my partner is 51, we have been together for a year and half now and couldn’t be happier. I think that, if you are lucky then you meet someone who you connect with so deeply on every level, mentally, physically and emotionally, that something such as age doesn’t feel like a problem or anything to be ashamed of. If it feels right and you are both happy then there isn’t a problem.
    Admittedly it took my dad a bit of time to get used to the idea, but he saw how happy we are and came round. My mum was supportive and understanding from the get go.
    As long as you are happy and there is love and respect and laughter in your relationship then you shouldn’t worry. You are both adults and know what you want.
    Sometimes people take a second glance when we are walking down the street together, but we don’t hide our feelings for each other and I think our happiness shows. It’s your life and what other people think should not affect your right to be loved and happy :)
    I hope everything works out for you x

  • Ciara Rose

    October 12th, 2014 at 8:24 PM

    Hello my name is Ciara and I am in a relationship with a man who is 30 plus years my senior we have been off and on for at least 2 years and we’ve had a lot of ups and downs he has a lot going on in his life and I have a lot surfacing from my past but our issue really is the fact of getting our trust back he has problems with trusting me because of my past because he keeps finding out things about who I was prior to me meeting him and he claims he’s concerned about me I trying get back into that. I’m trying hardest to convince him otherwise but one thing that wr keep us battling one another often is the fact that he uses these “security blankets” which are basically these individuals that he once had a relationship with that he allows to come around and speak into our relationship as if its gospel mainly their views on us are our age more than anything else so a lot of times he gets discouraged or distracted because of those types of input from people outside of us but I understand that people telling him that is like a security for him but a negative one and at the same time he doesn’t understand how much that really holds us back now my problem is that with him being that age that he is I’m concerned about him getting things together in a timely manner where we won’t have just 2 or 3 years together in peaceful harmony but hopefully more like 15 maybe even 20 years in peaceful harmony he says he would like the same thing but that he is concerned because every relationship before me everyone has left well I’m not everyone else and i know im younger than most of them and so I think he thinks I’m latching on for one thing when I know I’m latched to him for something totally different and I have a lot more patience and stick to itiveness than most of his other relationships have had so my basic question is this: can anybody help me figure out what to do or how to do what to do so that I can help us? he really is a good man he just has some flaws and he seems to be more scary than anything though he wasn’t like that when we first met it seems like this time his fears overcame our relationship or maybe even became a big part of our relationship now that we’ve had time to talk and he has started to open up more I just don’t want there to be any more setbacks but I know I can’t control what destiny or fate may have in store for us but I will say that I do think we have a shot and I just want to make sure that pulling the trigger right…

  • Sarah

    October 14th, 2014 at 7:01 AM

    Hi I’m looking for some advice
    I am 17 and I met a guy at a bar a few months back through a mutual friend we really connected and had a really good time we texted a lot after that and I thought I’d finally found someone special, until I found out that he was 22 and I told him I was 17. He said he never thought to question my age as I look somewhat older than 17 and ever since then he doesn’t want to talk to me as he feels that this isn’t “right” and it cannot happen because of his moral reasons, I am really upset about this as I didn’t expect it any advice as to what I should do would be much appreciated x

  • Becca

    October 19th, 2014 at 2:30 PM

    5 years isn’t that big of an age gap. Anyway, age doesn’t matter. If you like him you should just tell him you like him and want a relationship and that you don’t find it weird about the age gap since its only 5 years.

  • Marc

    October 15th, 2014 at 5:15 AM

    Hello, I’m a 22 year old gay male, I recently broke up with my ex of 39 (18 years difference). We dated for 3 1/2 years and we are both still madly in love with eachother….the reason for the breakup was that we kept bickering a lot and we couldn’t stand it anymore. We both wanted to work on it because we thought it was rediculous, but by going through I guess it made him realize that when we retires he would love to travel, this is also my dream. Thinking into this, it could never happen as by the time I retire he may be to old or even has passed away. I want this to work out because I will never fall out of love with him and can not be with someone els if he’s still my true love. This is hard, and I’ve been trying to find ways where I can retire at the age of 50….nowadays it seems impossible….any suggestions out there?
    Thank you,
    Marc

  • tracey

    October 19th, 2014 at 1:22 PM

    I am 50 and my bf is 27. I have left the relationship ship a few times as I am so concerned about the age difference as well as what others might think. I am also concerned that at my age I should be with someone who is more established etc. He has over the passed year, fought for this relationship every time. Refuses to let me give it up. No relationship in the past has ever been so good.is it so wrong as people make it out to be, frowning and looking down at us.

  • Calvin

    October 25th, 2014 at 10:40 PM

    Hello Tracey,

    I’m 27 and engaged to a beautiful 47 year old woman. I don’t know how may times someone has asked us if we get judging stairs, or people look down on us. And honestly, I would say that 95% of the time, people see that we are in love, and are happy for us. The way I see it, every one has their downfalls, some one can look into any relationship and find some thing that “just isn’t right” or that is “socially unacceptable”. You have to decide for yourself if the relationship is worth having. You cannot listen to anyone else, it’s not their life, it’s yours.

    I made the decision to be with my love, and I don’t regret it.nm if I see someone staring at us in disgust, I grab her and give her the biggest french kiss she will let me and then stair right at them for the reaction…just my way of saying “f*** you, don’t hate because I found someone I love.

    It sounds like you have someone that loves you, and if you truly love him, then be with him. Hope I helped :)

  • Christine

    November 4th, 2014 at 7:11 AM

    Thank you Calvin,
    Not sure if your post helped anyone else but it’s exactly what I needed to hear.
    I’m a 50 year old women whom is in a new relationship with a 26 yr old man. Everything so far has been absolutely amazing, we are so happy together. But, I have to admit my conscience has gotten the best of me at times and I have felt it might be best not continue seeing him and my only reason for even considering ending it is our age difference. He doesn’t agree with me and says if it makes us happy to be together that’s what he wants to do. After reading your post…I can now say I’m going focus on all the positive, hold on for now and enjoy every minute of this journey.

  • Anna

    January 6th, 2015 at 5:08 PM

    I am a 43 yr old woman and my boyfriend is 26. I am constantly torturing my self about the age difference and cannot help but think people must feel we are ridiculous. I look early/mid thirties but the realist is it’s a massive difference – help please!

  • Sarah

    March 24th, 2015 at 11:07 PM

    Hi Calvin,

    I appreciate reading this comments, specially yours. I met this guy who is exactly your age, I’m 36, we both have kids and we have been dating for a short time but sometimes I have worried about the age difference. Reading your comment helped me realize that it doesn’t matter. I have been focusing so much on what others think that I haven’t let myself enjoy the person I’m with.

    Thanks!

  • M

    October 19th, 2014 at 1:38 PM

    I am a 48 year old man and have been in a loving and wonderful relationship with my 25 year old girlfriend for about three years. I have a few observations and advice for others with similar situations.

    First, ask yourself whether or not you intend to live your life for yourself or to please others? This is a question you should consider no matter the age, sex, religion or other differences in your sexual mates. My advice to anyone is respect yourself and your own decisions for only YOU have to live your life. When people judge you it is their issue, not yours. True maturity involves a confidence to control your own life and understand that other people’s judgements and disapproval come from their own insecurities projected onto you. In other words, it is not real and it shouldn’t change the way you live your life unless you want to be a slave to what other people want you to do with your life.

    Second, in my experience people should reach a certain level of maturity before making long-term commitments with anyone and especially with someone with a big age difference. If you are under 18 I suggest you wait – see how things go and take it slow… you will change quickly over the next decade and making life decisions now can be very tricky. I personally wouldn’t date someone under 21 because I know how quickly age changes people at such a young age. That doesn’t mean it can’t work younger but caution should be taken.

    Finally, if you have a much younger lover/wife/partner you have to take responsibility and take care of yourself! You don’t want to be a burden on your much younger partner so it is incumbent on you to keep yourself in excellent health. I eat a strictly healthy diet, no junk food, no refined sugars, no processed foods and very limited eating out. I workout doing cardio and weight training three times a week. At nearly 50 I have the heart rate, blood pressure, cholesterol levels and general health of someone MUCH younger. I look like an athlete and I have even more energy than my young love. Likewise, my excellent health allows me to not only keep-up but to actually exhaust my woman in the bedroom! I realize this is a lifetime commitment since I’ve chosen a much younger lover and I owe it to her to age as gracefully and healthy as possible. If you love your younger partner and intend to be together for the long-run I believe you must make this commitment to good health.

    If you follow these simple steps I believe a relationship with a large age-gap can actually be even better than a same-age relationship. Good luck!

  • Lilly

    November 10th, 2014 at 7:39 AM

    Thank you for this post. It made me feel much butter about my older man I just start dating. I am 26 and he is turning 44. He’s a wonderful man and we have met at a particular time when both of us are looking for that special someone to do this journey of life together. He’s never been married , he’s compassionate about his culture; which is also my culture :) …. Everyday he makes me smile and makes me feel so beautiful :) … We’re in towns 4 hours away so it’s distance for now … Texting, and calling … It feels good though… So only time will tell I guess … Wish us luck and happiness <3

  • Rachel

    November 15th, 2014 at 5:41 AM

    Thank you for posting this. My bf is 19 years older than me. I feel truly invoke with him. It is nice to hear a mans point of view. No doubts here. I give him my life.

  • petal

    October 20th, 2014 at 1:50 PM

    Is it wrong for a 16 year old to fall in love with a 31 year old?
    ive know this guy since July and when ever i see him my heart skips but his age is a problem for my family… I know we both feel the same he doesn’t care about the age and i don’t i just feel that people will judge us?? help?

  • Athena

    October 21st, 2014 at 6:19 PM

    Hi, I’m 23 and my partner is 45. As well as there being a big age gap, we live in different countries! However we have been together for over 3 years now and still very much in love. Our relationship feels like an old fashioned love story even though we met online! We began with general conversation but soon discovered a very strong connection, clearly I was just born a little too late. He flies over to see me often and I do the same – depth over distance.

    Throughout our relationship I have had doubts. Mainly because of what others have to say. My partner makes me happy and inspires me in many ways so I love to speak about him to friends and a few family members but in response I get negative comments. I’ve heard it all.. “He’s with you for sex / he must have a lot of money / he’s a creep / it’s wrong / is he not married with kids / are you trying to rebel / do you have dad issues / is being with him helping you get closer to your career”.

    I would always ignore them but it eventually drove me to leave him. We were apart for several months and I have never felt so miserable in my life. I really feel like I let him down but we are back together now and as if we never parted. I do feel guilty for making such a decision but it made me realise I should focus on my own happiness. I don’t need the acceptance of others. I’m the one in this relationship and I’m the one feeling it. If what you have is real then do not let it go!

  • Samantha

    October 25th, 2014 at 12:30 AM

    Hi, I just wanted to tell you that what you wrote gave me a little more confidence in my relationship. I’m 20 years younger than my boyfriend and we met online as well. We live in different countries, so we are forced to have a long distance relationship for a couple more years. I haven’t told my parents; I haven’t told anyone yet. But your post made me feel more secure about my relationship, and if I have doubted it sometimes up until now, I will no more. Thank you :)

  • Jenny

    October 28th, 2014 at 11:57 PM

    I have been living with a man that is 22 years older than me we have been together for 10 years I’m 51 years old now and he just turned 73 years old we we’re very happy at first our sex life was awsome I had lost wait I was 280 pounds I had gastric bypass I went down to 155 pounds I was happy.But I’m now 216 pounds I gained weight we have not had sex going on 5 years he doesn’t function no matter what he takes.When I met him he had his retirement check and was .aking 17 dollars an hour his job went bank rupsy and because he new no English only Spanish he hasn’t worked seens I’m disabled do to a back injury and recently I broke my tibia and ankle showing him a Spanish dance .my grandaughter that we have both raised seens she was 3 days old going now on 5 years old do to circumstances happen to drop a calender on the floor and dancing with my partner I stepped on it slipped and fell…Well to make a long story short I’m disabled he lives with his retirement check we haven’t had sex going on 5 years I’ve gained weight I’m miserable and he has no where to go…I have a drivers license but no car….What can I do I want to live I have energy I look pretty good in spite of my weight gain but like I said he has no where to go what do you do in a situation like this age dose make a difference

  • Tay T.

    October 23rd, 2014 at 8:03 AM

    So I am 16 and my boyfriend is 22 he is turning 23 in december. Can anyone give me some honest opinions about what they think about our age difference?

  • renae

    October 26th, 2014 at 6:37 AM

    That’s a big age gap there sister. Just watch yoursel.

  • Mike

    November 24th, 2014 at 8:24 AM

    Tay your age difference is very good. it will really have no effect on your relationship.my mum and dad have the same age difference and they have been married for almost 40yrs and they are still together. so indeed love conquers all. Besides age shouldn’t limit your love life. Even if age is a factor for entering into a relationship your age difference with the guy is ok

  • Lacy

    October 23rd, 2014 at 2:57 PM

    I just turned 17 and my boyfriend just turned 21. I don’t live with my mom or dad, and I live with my grandma. She knows of my boyfriend and she always talks s**t about him to me. Like I love him so much and he treats me so good like he’s so perfect. He buys me flowers and he tells me and shows me how amazing I am to him. But she never lets me see him, and she disapproves. At football games she made me get away from him. I just want to see him and prove to her that he is perfect like he is to me

  • Stuart

    October 24th, 2014 at 11:40 PM

    My father is seeing woman 39 years younger than he is, oh and she insists she isn’t gold digging LOL.

    While I don’t like it at least it means I won’t have to wipe his dribble, wheel him around etc as his age starts to take toll.

  • Andrea

    October 25th, 2014 at 3:36 AM

    Hi im 16 and my crush is 2 year lest that me a I like him and we been friends since 4 year now last year we talk more and idk how to say my feelings, one time I told him but he say that to be just best friend… and my parents maybe don’t like the idea of having a crush with a guy less that me I like him so much because he understands me a lot and idk what to do or say do him I afraid to lose him… tell me help mee plz :/ :(

  • Aarien

    October 27th, 2014 at 6:18 AM

    Just tell him I’ve known you for a long time and I think we should start dating

  • vin

    November 14th, 2014 at 10:59 PM

    Hi Andrea don’t worry at all.If yours is true love it will surely be sucessfull. Love has no age limit.
    All the best.

  • Nick

    October 26th, 2014 at 12:10 PM

    I think it is beautiful to be friends and date older woman because they have what young girls don’t have and that is romance.Young girls for me seem out dated and they don’t have the mind to be playful.These are my opinions because getting a young girl pregnant is a tough job and older woman seem to know a lot.

  • Ben

    October 26th, 2014 at 7:58 PM

    My girlfriend is 45 and I am 32. I have never known true love before her. She sends me to the moon and back on a daily basis. The age difference is considerable but not enough to affect us negatively. We are intimate at least three times a day and have reached ten times within a 24 hour period on several occasions. She is the light of my life and I am hers. We don’t let other people’s short sighted, negative opinions of our relationship get to us.

  • nickeyr

    October 26th, 2014 at 9:45 PM

    Hi im 23 and my boyfriend is 15 yrs older than me. We have been together a lil over 5 years now. We have three wonderful kids and all my family loves him. His family likes me…accept the mother… i see her alot but have only had one encounter with her. She seemed nice. But she has never met any of the kids we have together. Every time when I ask him when he will let them meet her he said she told him she doesnt want to…why? Because I had them knowing he previously had 5. I mean I dont feel its any of her business of me having kids for him he and I love them as the others that arent biologically mine. His dad always makes a way to see the kids and acknowledges the fact that they exist. It bothers me my kids not knowing her and her only not wanting to meet mine. But I dont know what to do about it. Also he claims to wanna marry me one day but as long as his mother doesnt like my kids or myself I dont think he ever will. Am I wrong for wanting my children to know their fathers mom? Or should I just leave it alone and let it go?

  • lucky

    October 28th, 2014 at 8:17 PM

    I am 30 my man is 54 we habe been dating for two years. He has a 26 and 23 year old son. The 26 year od says he hates me and does not know why. 23 told their mom he heard us having sex in the house. I am very mindful of there feelings. He almost put the 26 out because of me. The mother told my man he should watch who he brings around hier children i am veey moodest with my spwwch and dress in front of them. I gave up speaking to them because they have attitudes. My man defined me several times yet it is having a effect on our retaliation ship i hate going to his housr or bring my 8,7 year around because his sons are so childish. Is thhis behavior normal from older children ? Help

  • Mohsin

    October 29th, 2014 at 6:34 AM

    Hey Guys.
    i am 22 and my date is 45.we are planning to marry and start new life.is it okay for me?give me some suggestions

  • Amber

    October 29th, 2014 at 6:05 PM

    Hi!
    Seeing posts like these make me so hopeful. I am dating an amazing man who is 30 years my senior. 22-52. next month will make one year that we have been together and nearly 3 years that we’ve known each other. I have helped him through his divorce, he has supported me through a relocation from our home to FL AND my relocation back home to him! From day one he has treated me no less than royalty. I come out from work to my favorite candy and love letters on my car. My first week at my new job he sent a giant flower arrangement. We just got our own apartment and plan to get married October of next year. We are planning children and vacations together and I have never been happier.
    Yes, there are difficulties, his children for example hate me. They refuse to meet me. His ex wife stalks me. And my grandfather disowned me. But we have our parents and friends. Those friends who know us are so insanely supportive because they have seen the positive changes in each of us. He is my light and the reason I wake up each morning. Keep faith y’all. It can work!

  • emma

    October 31st, 2014 at 10:29 AM

    Reading your post makes me feel much better! I am 23 dating a 52 year old. We have only been seeing each other for a few months but I have never felt like this about someone ever! He is amazing and treats me so well, but I feel so judged by others and my parents said they are weirded out by it, which makes it so hard for me. I can see myself with him forever but it is a little scary to think if we got married and had kids, one day he will be 72 and I’ll be 43…

  • Viking

    October 30th, 2014 at 10:56 AM

    What is true love? There are two people who love each other, regardless of gender. sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, or age! Although there are age differences, so people are different. Some are more mature than others. Why should people like us be judged? Love has no boundaries !! Now I know how gays had it before it was accepted. It is terrible to be punished for true love! Love knows no age! (of course not very young children) but of legal age.

  • brianna

    November 1st, 2014 at 3:49 PM

    I am 18 years old and I fell in love with this 28 year old on a field trip with my college It was fate I have never felt this way before about someone he does not want to be with me because he feels i’m too young and he says hes too old but when I showed im this. We got engadged 1 month after I showed him this article and we have never been happier whoever wrote this article THANK YOU SOO MUCH !!!!

  • Anna

    November 3rd, 2014 at 10:03 PM

    So I’m 19 dating a 34 year old. It’s a 15 age difference. And I really enjoy being with him. I’m the type to always date Older guys. Always. Before him I dated a 33 year old and then the rest in their 20’s. But I’m in a bit of a pickle. I didn’t tell my bestfriends about him because they don’t like that I date older guys. And it sucks that they aren’t happy for me. It does. So now we’re not speaking. And I’m happy with this guy. We are similar. We have a lot of fun. We enjoy each other’s company. It’s great.
    But I always wonder if it’s just cause he’s bored and wants a younger woman in his life temporarily. If so that’s fine. But I just need to know.

  • Ty

    November 4th, 2014 at 9:53 AM

    Okay, so recently I’ve met this 44 year old man and I have this strong sensual and sexual attraction to him! (Which I haven’t had yet, it’s either one or the other. In this case it’s both. What a win!) He is beautiful inside and out, and I’ve never wanted someone more. I can sit and talk with him all day, and not get fed up. I haven’t met a guy my age I can do this with. I just turned 20 on the 1st, and I want to take things to the next level. I’m very honest with him and he truly loves that, he’s really excited about getting to know me and so am I.
    I’m scared because I need to love and he told me he needs to be loved. I want to love him, but maybe I’m reading to deep into this. I haven’t even kissed him yet. He wants me to wait a month, and if I still have the same feelings, he has asked to take me out on a date! I guaranteed him I will feel the same but he doesn’t believe that I will. He doesn’t think that he is good enough to have me, and I’m flabbergasted because anyone would be lucky to have him! He is amazing. He’s never been married and has no children.
    On the other side: I’m very possessive and jealous, and he’s not at all. Can this be a problem? We are both very emotional people (scorpio and cancer) and I feel like that can help us a lot. I have to see him interact with females on a daily because of his career and I hate it! I’ve never been so controlling or jealous over someone but maybe it’s because I cannot have him on my terms right now. I will have him though! I love him.. At least I can see myself loving him forever. He looks at me with these big brown eyes like he’s so happy to be around me, and I melt every time. He compliments me in a way that makes me feel good about myself. He’s such a geek and it’s so adorable!
    My father is a year older than him and my mom is 4 years younger than him. I’ve told my mom how I felt, and she says he sounds like a good guy and as long as I’m happy, she is okay with it. But I haven’t told my father. He usually supports my decisions but this has me on the edge of my seat. My mom is worried about what he might say as well. I know it’ll be tough because of our friends don’t enjoy the same things, but I want him not his friends, and he wants me not my friends. Also he is Jewish and I grew up Christian. (I am Afro-American and he is Caucasian) but it doesn’t bother me at all and it doesn’t seem to bother him either. I just want some feed back on how others would view us. Do you think it could work? Or am I overthinking things?

  • Todd

    November 6th, 2014 at 3:56 PM

    Follow your heart. If you lose yourself and track of time when you are with him and don’t care what the world thinks, go for it.

  • Ty

    November 7th, 2014 at 10:55 AM

    Thank you, Todd. We both lose track of time, we really enjoy each other and I’m hoping that will keep us strong. Thanks for the reply :)

  • Elisse

    December 8th, 2014 at 9:55 AM

    Age is just a number…

  • dayna

    November 5th, 2014 at 8:29 PM

    My 20 and my boyfriend is 42 soon to be 43 and we have been together for almost 3 years he has 3 kids and 2 live with us im young and about to start my nursing career. I need some advice to help me understand if I should wait or not to wait to have a child with him. He has a spinal fusion and he had a broken knee and has had a heart attack and thats what really scares me. If I want I feel like I couldnt. And if I have a child now I might not have a career I want to at least have my masters so I can stay home witg the child for 4-5 years. Can someone help me with some advice im sruck between a rock and a hard place.

  • Rachel

    November 15th, 2014 at 5:29 AM

    I am in kind of the same spot. My bf is 19 years older than me. He has a heart issue with a valve replacement. Scares me to stealth that something will happen to him. But I love him enough that I would do anything that I could to keep him healthy. I would give him the world and a child if that is what he wanted, even though I don’t have any. You have to follow your heart and go from there. Btw I am also a nurse. Good luck

  • Rachel

    November 15th, 2014 at 5:31 AM

    Scares me to death* but love it

  • Drea

    November 6th, 2014 at 7:47 AM

    Hi I’m 22 and the love of my life is 36 when we first met he lied about his age I guess he was afraid I wouldn’t have breakfast with him. From the time we met in person we knew it was meant to be even though he waited 5 months to revealed his age to me my parents still thinks he’s in his 20s which we find pretty funny sometimes. I love him and when I would say that he be like you canII’m too old for you what would your parents think. Aren’t you worry about missing out on young guy if you’re with me. The best part about it is that we’re both the same sign Taurus-his birthday is the 24 and mind is the 27 of April we’re both April born so we are basically into the same thing. Which is amazing and he is adventurous which is awesome because so am I and sex life is off the chart I’ve learned so much by being with him it’s been two years and we still going strong

  • steve

    November 6th, 2014 at 5:59 PM

    hi im a 31 year old guy just started dating an 18 year old girl. i am single a long time have two kids from a previous relationship. this girl added me on facebook and we started chatting.i had arranged and kept pulling out of dates on 3 different occasions she was getting annoyed. so i gave in and decided id take her to a movie. we had only ever known eachother through facebook but the minute i set eyes on her i think i fell in love. she is mature for her age and says she knows what she wants. i dont know why i feel so guilty but i do. ive talked to a few friends about it and they all reckon its fine. i feel lucky to have such a beautiful young lady so interested in me. quite chuffed. and she is 18 i jus feel like im doing wrong.

  • Cindy

    December 4th, 2014 at 6:39 PM

    There’s nothing wrong on what you are doing. My boyfriend is 33 and im 17 we’re both turning one year older in few months. Nothing wrong as long as you are faithful and honest to her.

  • corliss

    November 7th, 2014 at 9:53 AM

    Hi guys …
    I really need an opinions. I am 17, turning 18 in a month. I am in love with someone who is older than me by 10 years. I first met him through church youth group. We were neighbors, so he usually give me rides to youth group meetings and sometimes to church. I didn’t like him right away. But i slowly realized that I am in love with him. I think about him 24/7. He is a very nice and caring person. I think he feels something towards me too but I am not sure. He usually texts a lot to me sometimes, his words make me feel like he likes me too. He usually help me with things i need and takes care of me like a younger sister. That’s why, I am not sure whether he is just being SUPER nice to me or … maybe because he feels something for me too.
    I am a senior in high school… so, before I go off for college, I want to let him know how I feel towards him. I know I am taking a risk… but what would be a better option for me?

  • G.alliah

    November 16th, 2014 at 1:39 AM

    I’m 17 years old I’m a senior in high school as well and I need your help, I’m in love with this 24 year old guy . before I had like a major crush on him , but we never really talked I would always see him at starbucks working on homework , and he would always look and stare at me he wouldn’t say anything but I cou tell his eyes were screaming that he wants to tell me something . So I kinda investigated through the starbucks worker what his name was and when I got home I looked for him on any social media . But I didn’t find him … Until one day at starbucks I was walking in when he saw me and smiled and I told him I liked his shirt and he said he liked mine as well but I could tell he wanted to tell me something else .. Well I kept looking for him on fb and I found him so I sen him a friend request but I was scared he would think I was a creeper or something but I still did it . That same night I was freaking out he accepted it … But didn’t messege me or anything … So I made the move I told him hi and he said hi and I told him I was sorry Cuz I noticed he was making it awk … And he said to not apologize girl with the cool shirt and I acted like I didn’t know it was him and we kept talking and I gave him my number and we have been talking 4 3 days but yesturday he asked why I was awake so early I told him Cuz of school and he asked where I went and I told him high school , and then I asked if he had a gf and he suddenly said yes . And I feel like he doesn’t but he said that Cuz of our age . But idk what to do he’s soooo nice and cares for me a lot . I don’t know if I sh tell him how I really feel or just keep it as friends 😩

  • Michael f

    November 7th, 2014 at 12:48 PM

    Im a 54yr old male my girlfriend. Is 24,we’ve been involved going on 2yrs.i do everything to make her happy but i have doubts about us sometimes. I’ve been seeing a therapist, it helps my girlfriend. Just started telling me she loves me. Advise please

  • Rachel

    November 15th, 2014 at 5:21 AM

    Stay strong if you truly love her. I am only 28 and I am so in love with my boyfriend that is 19 years older than me (47). Good luck to you both

  • In Denial

    November 10th, 2014 at 1:34 AM

    Wow..after reading all these…l am glad to know I am not the only woman fancied by a man 18 years younger…dunno if he and I will end up together…but really l wish the best of luck for all of you finding honest love .xoxox

  • WEALTH

    November 12th, 2014 at 2:13 AM

    There is nothing wrong in it,age is nothing but a figure,all what we need is love,commitment and understanding.I can date any woman.

  • WEALTH

    November 12th, 2014 at 2:19 AM

    i can date any woman if there is love

  • mizzyo

    November 13th, 2014 at 6:59 PM

    I have been together with a man 17years my senior for almost 15years. When we got together, my self-confidence was very low and I felt so needy and vulnerable, I just didn’t resist hard enough and let him virtually chase me down in another country. He has many wonderful qualities and he’s probably one of the most sincerely caring people I have ever met. But I have never felt he was my real partner. The older we get, the bigger and more tangible feels the age gap. I’m now in my early forties and have been living with just cuddles and virtually no physical intimacy for several years. I know he cares for me. but his age combined with some health problems and the long time we’ve been together just means his desire is very low. The end result is both of us being deeply unhappy and frustrated, for different reasons. I’m sure there are people who enter such relationship and stay happy but it is really a big challenge to both. I wish I left when I was younger and not feeling sorry for him like I now do when I’m being more of a carer and companion than a wife.

  • Charity

    November 14th, 2014 at 10:32 AM

    So I’m a 26 year old that has been casually dating a 39 year old single dad with 5 kids. His oldest is just a few years younger than I am. There is an age gap of 13 years between myself and this man. The strange thing is that you can’t really tell that there’s a gap. He looks really young for his age. Our maturity levels are similar and even his friends have commented that we look good together. One friend even said that she thinks I’m better than some of the women he’s dated. My question is do you think 13 years is too much of an age gap? Or should I just enjoy the relationship and see where it goes?

  • Rachel

    November 15th, 2014 at 5:16 AM

    I am 28 and bf 47. For me, I was married to a man that was 11 years older than me. Now divorced. I am currently dating a man that is 19 years set than me and I love him dearly. When I was married (11 yrs older) we really was complete opposites. Of course it didn’t work out. With my boyfriend now, we have everything in common. We get along so well and my parents love him. He has 1 daughter and 1 granddaughter. My parents love him and so do I. Me, I can’t have kids. I have had a very rough past. If you can think it, I have probably experienced it.
    You have to follow your heart. Age is not a factor unless you let it. I hope for the best for you Charity.

  • Sam

    December 27th, 2014 at 2:43 AM

    I have a 13 year age gap with my husband… When we first started dating I was18 and he was 31 and we been together for almost 20 years now. I use to worry about what people thought of our age difference all the time but now I don’t really care because we been together 20 years and still going strong…
    Good luck to all but know it can workout ..

  • selena

    November 15th, 2014 at 9:54 AM

    Im 18 and inlove with a 29 yr old

  • Emily

    December 2nd, 2014 at 5:16 AM

    I’m the same- I’m 18 and the guy I’m falling for is 28- my mom seems to be ok with it but he seems a little bit freaked out- I think he will come round- but god am I falling for him- let’s hope I don’t get hurt but I only looked this up to see that other people are doing the same!! Good to know I’m not the only one :) x

  • Justice

    November 15th, 2014 at 8:01 PM

    Me and my boyfriend are 20 years apart I love him to death I just want to know if it’s a bad thing to love someone 20 years apart

  • Justice

    November 15th, 2014 at 8:03 PM

    Please reply I want to know others opinions

  • Aj

    November 18th, 2014 at 10:39 PM

    A 20 years age gap doesn’t make a big difference now a days. I’m 1973 and my girlfriend was born 1993. As long as you’re both happy and love each other go for it cause there’s nothing wrong about it. Most people that comments bad about us they are just jealous about our relationship. We are getting married next year. So don’t listen to those kinds of people that comments about those age gap cause it’s only an age. Some people there that age 20 looks like 30’s and so on.. So good luck guys and just live happily with each other. :)

  • Diana B.

    December 4th, 2014 at 5:15 PM

    Hi im 38 n just got engage with a 26 year old guy n yes age is just a number n we both live together we love each other n that’s wat counts n i really don’t look my age we both love n care for each other so b happy n don’t mind wat others say just b happy

  • Angela K.M.

    November 19th, 2014 at 7:08 AM

    I am a 57 white software consultant. Female just married to a 42 year old black male. It is working out very well. We got married 6 weeks ago and so far so good. I am now 5 weeks pregnant.

    Concerned about having a baby at age 57 as well as marrying a black man and expecting a mixed race child

    Suggestions ?

  • dan

    December 2nd, 2014 at 1:42 AM

    Yep me too.i love her but im not sure im enough

  • Mona

    November 18th, 2014 at 6:37 AM

    I 20 and my boyfriend is 28. We started off as good friends now we are dating

  • delicia

    November 19th, 2014 at 7:52 AM

    Am 19 and am with a guy he is 41 I wonder if that’s a Issue

  • tasha

    December 2nd, 2014 at 7:14 PM

    No I am 21 and my boyfriend is 59 we have been dating since I was 19. And no my family did not like it but at the end of the day it is your life and you should talk to whoever makes you happy. Never let anyone interfere with your happiness.

  • Belinda

    November 19th, 2014 at 11:50 AM

    My partner and I have a 26 year age gap and we have been together for 17 years

  • Ellie

    November 19th, 2014 at 5:05 PM

    Well… if a 12 year old and a 16 year old fell in love, would that be okay,if its “true love”? I mean,it is a bit of a risk to take because 16 year old’s should be getting a job and having sex and obviously a 12 year old shouldn’t be having sex but if it is true love and they both love each other deeply they should be together,People might say “your 12,you need to worry about school” but surely if you love someone you would try not to lose them… What do you guys think?

  • Kate

    November 25th, 2014 at 10:54 AM

    I’m 15 and I’m in a relationship with a boy 3 years younger, we both liked each other for ages and we’ve known eachother since we were little. I took us a while until we told each other how we felt as we were both uncomfortable with the age difference and how other people would react. Honestly, age IS just a number

  • kalamaran

    November 20th, 2014 at 2:00 AM

    I am in a relationship with a girl, 40 years age gap, I am 70 and she is 30, we have two kids also. She is happy, but I don’t know whether it is right or not. She said that she is happy and says that she is not bothered about my appearance, what do I do?

  • Daisy

    November 21st, 2014 at 10:19 AM

    Hi there

    The age difference is just a number, just enjoy, if she is happy with you and why not

  • precious

    November 25th, 2014 at 9:18 AM

    yeah… never think about number im a filipina 20 and my bf is 57 im so happy whenever we are together, talking to skype and phone…in short no matter what is your appearance still she loves you just like what im feeling to my bf now.. good luck to the two of you God bless’

  • kelsey

    November 23rd, 2014 at 11:13 PM

    So I’m 16 and my boyfriend is 20 almosMy mom disapproves about us going on dates but she let’s us text. When he saks her if he can take me on a date she keeps telling him no cause the age diffrence. Someone please reply. Does age really matter when he treats me right??

  • Jay

    November 24th, 2014 at 12:40 AM

    Hey, I have been speaking to this lad for a couple of days now, I do like him he seems nice enough, and we plan on meeting in the next few weeks I am just concerned about it because I am 17 and he is 25, I just worry about the age gap and whether it is right, and that if we were to start a relationship no one would agree with the age gap between us! What do u think??

  • Katy

    November 25th, 2014 at 6:53 PM

    honey i met my man when i was 17 and guess what he was 26 ! 9 years difference! we met in 2008 i dated him in 2010 , i got engaged in 2011 and i got married july 2014 , im happy and im not regretting anything! i can proudly say hes my husband and he means the world to me we understand each other and go through happy and sad moments together that’s what counts the
    most.. so age difference means NOTHING!

  • Diana B.

    December 4th, 2014 at 5:04 PM

    Hi katy my fiance is 26 n im 38 n yes i am very happy with him he loves me i love him n we both live together n we have 2yrs together n we both argue n all but all couples go threw something so girl u r 9yrs age is just a number n love comes first than anything love Faith loyalty n truth

  • Laura

    November 24th, 2014 at 6:12 AM

    I’m an 16 years old girl dating a 29 years old. We love each other, and have a great connection, but aren’t sure about the age difference. (Btw my parents like him a lot because he’s a friend of the family)
    Could this work out, or should I forget him?

  • iizzmmee

    November 26th, 2014 at 11:34 AM

    I am embarrassed and ashamed. My husband of 17 years is 34. He is always seeking\giving attention to teenage girls. For over a year he texted his step niece and said it was nothing. The first time I found out I asked him to stop. He in turn lied about and hid it. In turn this girl (14 at the time.) Sends me messages on social media saying things like he is old enough to make his own choices, or that I’m controlling him. My husband swears to me nothing sexual happened. He said he is sorry for lying and hiding this texting relationship. He is sorry for lying. We have 3 children. One is nearly a teenager herself. What I want to know is how do I trust him again? How do I know he isn’t a pedephile? How do I know he is not lying anymore? Is it bad for a man to carry on a friendship with a 14 yr old? Secretly or otherwise. He promised me that they were just friends but how is a man friends with a 14 yr old. What do they have in common?
    This has been destroying my sanity for over a year. I don’t know how to let it go.

  • angie

    December 7th, 2014 at 1:28 AM

    You need to divorce him there is no excuse for what he did he has no business talking to a baby if a was married to men like that I would divorce him his only sorry the times because his full of bs 20 times more excuse my language

  • danielle

    December 7th, 2014 at 7:52 AM

    You need to drop him like a bad habit. Already been there done that. No grown man has any business chatting with a 14 and then hiding it. Somethings up.I would investigate secretly. When he gets in the shower check it go through everything. There are apps you can download in his phone that will run stealth mode untraceable. They send alerts to a computer website with all text and phone calls and internet history even if he deletes it you will see it.

  • iizzmmee

    January 9th, 2015 at 11:54 AM

    How do I get an app like that? I paid for one a while back, over a year ago and he saw it right away. :(

  • Tex

    June 22nd, 2015 at 12:12 AM

    Laura, if you have nice time with him and feel beautiful-why to leave him??

  • Tayler

    November 24th, 2014 at 10:05 PM

    Hey, I’m a 23 year old woman and I’m dating a 38 year old man so a 15 year age gap. We started dating about a year ago It’s been hard but worth it so far. His family is supportive and likes me, I think and my family strongly disagrees with it, my dad has practically stopped talking to me which is probably the hardest part about this relationship because my dad was my best friend since forever and now he thinks I’m throwing my life away on a guy who wants to take advantage of me. That of course is not the case. we met about three years before I even thought about him romantically we were really good friends and had the same friends, we both loved the same things. Oh did I mention I’ve never ever been in any kind of relationship before? so he is a lot of firsts for me lol. I’d have to say that our only problems are his trust issues from previous relationships and I’m basically a slave to what people think. All of these comments are helping me so much. I mean Ive always know that its my life so I should be the one to live it but I also hate that I’m hurting my dad I wish he just believe me when I say I’m happy because I truly am.

  • Brittney

    November 26th, 2014 at 10:41 PM

    I’m literally in the same situation you are. It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one. I’m not in a relationship with this man, but we have a very close friendship that I feel could develop into a relationship. He’s 40 and I’m 23.

  • angie

    December 7th, 2014 at 1:23 AM

    I’m 22 years old dating a 36 year old we’ve been together for about four years now we have three kids and one on the way one child who is the oldest from an old pass sometimes we have disagreements about bad habits that his sons can do sometimes but relationships are never peaches and creams your story is very similar to mine and I just want to say that if you do not have any kids with him yet the first year of knowing him is like the first impression trust me I know I went through the whole thing with my mother not liking it and now they have a good bond with each other but it took some time just take your time time will only tell

  • D

    November 30th, 2014 at 4:19 AM

    Hi I’m 16 this year. I met a guy and he is 23 this year. 7 years different. We use to work together but I have to end the job yesterday. And he confess to me.
    I also have alittle feelings for him. So I told him that we should know about each other more.
    He agrees with it.
    But I have a really big problem. My parent is really strict.
    Since the day I know about relationship, I never dare to confess to anyone. I would even try to tell myself not to fall in love. Just because of my parent.
    I feeling is really horrible and sometimes I don’t understand why my parent are so strict. I just want to have someone who is able to love me, share problems with me and everything. ( but no matter what I still love my parent. But I just want to fall in love with no worries. )
    Two years ago I got into a relationship. But it didn’t work out because of my parent’s strictness.
    I don’t really know how to explain the “rules” in my family. But all I want is a supportive parent, but I know it’s impossible.
    So I don’t know if I should take a step forward to this relationship. Or should I just stop everything now before I really fall in love with this guy.
    Even though it might be suffering or bad to lie to my parent. But I wouldn’t mind if we really are in love. But for now I really don’t know what I should do.
    After all, I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. Especially him.
    So if I shouldn’t take a step forward, I would just tell him straight now so that he would not suffer more in the future.
    I just need some advice. Thank you :)

  • iizzmmee

    November 30th, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    As a parent… I know a 16 year old has no business being with a 23 year old. He should have respect and never confess anything to you. There is a big difference.

  • Lu

    November 30th, 2014 at 7:01 PM

    Hi, I am 27 and I am in love with a 55 year old. We have been on and off for 7 years bc of my family. I love this man with all my heart and he’s the only one that I can be myself with. He is divorced with no kids. The problem is, I let my family cloud my thoughts and it breaks us up every time. 7 years it has been and every time we are with each other it’s like we are just meant to be. STILL! But how do I stop letting my judgmental family ruin what I feel is my true love??

  • Aria

    December 1st, 2014 at 5:31 PM

    I have an 18 year age gap with my boyfriend (he’s older).

    He claims it’s not an issue, and I didn’t find it to be one, but lately I’m not so sure anymore.

    He talks about it sometimes, and it just seems like we’re in different stages of our lives. He seems to secretly wish to get married and have children soon, because he’s worried about being too old to do things like see his grandchildren get married. Meanwhile, I’m more focused on my career and working towards my dream job.

    Is it just not going to work out?

  • Jada

    December 22nd, 2014 at 7:04 PM

    I’m in a similar boat. I’m 19 and my boyfriend just turned 37 yesterday. He has 1 daughter who’s six. I know he wants more children like within the next 2 years. Our 3rd year anniversary is coming up next month. We’re preparing to move in together however I know I’m not ready to have a child. I’m a full time college student preparing for grad school. I do want children. I’d honestly not mind them soon but I don’t want to put my future career and school on hold. That’s the only thing that we differ with. Im all for compromise but I don’t want to be the mom who put her life on hold to make her husband happy and never had the chance to pick up her dreams so Idk what the future holds for us. I don’t see myself with any other man though.

  • Ava

    January 2nd, 2015 at 12:16 AM

    It feels so good to read other people in the same boat as me. I’m 18 and my boyfriend is 28, he wants kids soon because he doesn’t want to be an old dad, I know he wants kids at 30 which means I’ll be 20. But I want to travel, finish school and experience my young years before kids. I want to marry this man I just am so torn. I guess all we can do is really just take it one day at a time but it’s so hard too

  • Tami

    December 1st, 2014 at 6:51 PM

    I met my husband when I was 18. We married when I was 19. We have been married 22 years this month. We have an age difference of 26 years. Age is just a number. The only thing I don’t like is not having as many years with him as I would a younger man.

  • Lara

    December 2nd, 2014 at 6:50 AM

    I’m almost 40 yrs old now & I now have a wonderful boyfriend close to my age. Whenever I was 25 I developed a close friendship with a 40 year old man I worked with. I thought he was perfect. He had 2 sons, not much younger than me. Long story short, I tried to date other guys my age but I compared them all to this man I worked with & had so much fun with. I ended up pushing away some great guys because of this.

    I ended up dating the man for almost 5 years. I regret wasting all of that time with the much older man now. I now realize we were at different points in life & that he really wasn’t good for me. I wanted to get married & have children before I turned 30. He didn’t want more children because his 2 were grown. I missed out on a lot of life experiences the older man had experienced because of all of this wasted time.

    I’m not judging anyone. I just wanted to share my personal experience & regrets.

  • becca

    December 3rd, 2014 at 12:19 AM

    I’m 17 in a month and I started talking to this wonderful man who is 45. He didn’t know I was this young and when I told him he got scared. He said it was not right. He’s starting to grow feelings for me as I am for him. I know nothing will ever happen but it’s nice to talk to him. Boys my age are so immature. I don’t want him to die alone when I can love him. Please tell me it will never work I need to stop catching feelings I’m so stupid. I don’t want to ruin his chances of finding true love.

  • Anthony

    December 3rd, 2014 at 12:17 PM

    I am 29. I have been taking to girl for the last couple weeks who happens to be a very good friend of mine’s sister. She is only 19. I have heard all the lines from it being too much, to age is just a number. Right now we are only hanging out, but I really do like her, and could easily see something more progressing. I’m recently divorced and she has been very good for helping me get out of the funk, so to speak, that I have been in. I also don’t want to lose my friend over this. He currently is unaware. I really don’t know what to do bc I’m big on fate, and not to get ahead of myself, but I wouldn’t want to pass up a great opportunity with someone who could potentially be a great match bc of the age difference. Any advice would be very appreciated.

  • Angelica

    December 11th, 2014 at 12:26 AM

    I think you should go for it! My current bf is older than me 10 yrs. After we started dating he told me that he was always afraid to ask me out, because of our age difference. He was scared that people will make fun of him. But, at the end he ask me out anyways and guess what! I also like him, and had the same problems too. Go for it, she might be afraid to ask you too! You never know That she might like you, so why not take the chance and go for it?

  • Ava

    January 2nd, 2015 at 12:12 AM

    Go for it! My boyfriend is 28 and I’m 18. He always mentions that he loves how mature I am and him and I can keep up mentally and physically. If she is at your level and you like her, go for It!

  • Rih

    March 3rd, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    Hi Ava I’m 18 and my bf is 29 Im not mature at all and I don’t understand how to be in this situation at all what do I do? I really want me and my bf to work I love him. I just want to understand his situation.

  • Dana

    December 3rd, 2014 at 10:19 PM

    I’m 33 and my husband is almost 60. We’ve been married for 5 years and have a 4 year-old boy. He got married 3 times and has 3 children with 3 different mothers. At first, he was really caring, charming,and mature. One year after our marriage he became totally different. He always working, complaining about money, never satisfied with anything. In my side I tried to help in my best ways by working really hard and go to school at the same time. He still complaining not having enough money to survive and to pay bills while he’s making a lot of money by working two jobs and using my money also. I don’t make money as much as him but I can survive with it. He never have time for me and my son, We don’t go out, we don’t get really good conversation. Anytime I tried to talk to him about my feeling, he’s like doesn’t want to hear what I have to say by introducing another subject and think that I’m pushing him to excess, so I don’t talk I don’t give my opinion on anything,I don’t ask him for anything and seem like he is happy about it. The only thing he’s caring for is sex and paying his bills. He doesn’t care about me, my goals, my birthday, my needs or anything as soon as he can have sex. Now i’m feeling alone, my father died suddenly and never seen him for past 5 years. I begged him every year to support me financially to go see my father he always refused. The day before the funeral he got upset because I didn’t want to have sex with him. When I started talking about my dad and cry he always walked away. I feel overwhelm and in pain. He can’t even see if I’m loosing weight and sad. I’m loyal to him, and always treat him with respect. Now I need advice, I don’t know if I have to leave him or stay to see if things can get better. I wanted to talk to my pastor about it, he told me if I talk to somebody about what it is happening in the house, I can consider we are not couple anymore. What should I do in this case? I feel depressed.

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    December 4th, 2014 at 10:36 AM

    Thanks for your comment, Dana. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, please feel free to return to our homepage, http://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. If you’re looking for a counselor that practices a specific type of therapy, or who deals with specific concerns, you can make an advanced search by clicking here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html

    Once you enter your information, you’ll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. From this list you can click to view our members’ full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. You are also welcome to call us for assistance finding a therapist. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time; our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext. 1.

    Warm Regards,

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

  • Paula

    December 5th, 2014 at 10:33 PM

    Dear Dana,

    Three failed marriages is not a good record therefore, I don’t think your husband will ever change. I’m sorry that you are depressed and I understand your reasons. I think your husband is using you for sex, and that you would be happier if you left him. He should help you to support your child and I’m sure you will find someone better along the way. You are throwing away precious years of your life with someone who sounds very selfish and uncaring.

    Fight for your happiness and know that you deserve better.

  • Annette B

    December 4th, 2014 at 11:19 AM

    It is so interesting to read about your experience. I have a big age difference to my boyfriend, but he is younger than me why; is it more normal with a younger ‘model’ and a older man? My relationship started with a harmless flirt and then…

  • Cindy

    December 4th, 2014 at 2:42 PM

    I am 16 years old when i started talking to this guy who is 33. We talked online for 9 months and started going out just 4 months ago. At first my parents did not know about it cos i dont have the guts to tell them cos our age difference is really big he is double my age. Fortunately a month ago my parents caught me going out with him i thought they will ask me to stop seeing him however they wanted to meet him and all. My parents said he is nice. I thought after that everything will be okay and smooth but no. He got a daughter who is 10 years old already and its ridiculous how im just 6 years older than his daughter. One time i was at his i saw a panty on his drawer at the bathroom i know he is faithful and honest to me and that the panty was stuck in there ages ago. However it is devastating that why do i have to see it. He is a workaholic person i just see him on thursdays and weekend sometimes he is late from work and i have to wait for an hour. I love him so much but our age gap is ruining our relationship. I dont know what to do if i wanna end it i should do it asap.

  • Diana B.

    December 5th, 2014 at 3:17 PM

    Thanks cindy for writing back to me cause yes we both love each other very much n im trying to have a baby from him cause he is gud guy n he loves me n i also love him

  • annette b

    December 6th, 2014 at 2:08 AM

    After getting used to the strange looks we, sometime get, so why not go public with our relationship. We started with his mom and surprisingly his mom was fine with it. She is my best friend. My daughter was chocked, she is older than my fiancée, but seem to accept. We do not know really how to handle the situation except being as we are!!!

  • G

    December 6th, 2014 at 11:44 PM

    I’m 19 years old and I’m in love with a 16 year old. I’ve been in love with him for 3 years now. I’m so close to the family but I don’t know how to present it to them at all. In a way it’s weird, but when I see him I don’t see an age at all I just see him and who he is, and I’m in love with every bit of it.

  • Z

    December 10th, 2014 at 5:42 AM

    Omg I’m in the same position :/ his family loves me they know our age difference but they don’t care one bit, but now he thinks he has a lot on his shoulders trying to finish school & take care of me bcuz I don’t get along with my family. But I work & buy him everything & he hates it that I’m the one taking care of him instead of him taking care of me.

  • anna

    December 7th, 2014 at 9:13 AM

    Thank u to all
    who shared their opinions and feelings re age gap love .I have never been into youngermen but found my selfin love it turns out with a 30yrs old guy with 4 children and have fought my feelings for a year u see i think this is paedophlia only its a woman doing it or he may be he.into grannies i am 65 yrs oldbut the allure an d feelings are there for me we have not been put together but have worked in same area and i know he has feelings to i do ask god to guide me

  • Annette

    December 8th, 2014 at 5:52 AM

    Dear Anna, there are probably not many in our situation and then our situations are quite different. The age gap in my relation is similar if not than yours, although I do not deal with any kids except my daughters who wonders what I have going. Hope it will work out for you. Our relationship is now official and in the full public, that was nice. Hug Annette

  • David

    December 8th, 2014 at 10:34 PM

    Hello everyone, first of all I want to give thanks to the person who made this page possible, it is because of you that I now see love and the person I’m with in a more positive light. I’m a 28 male going on 29 in March. My beloved gf who I’m currently about to make 2 years with on New Years eve, (the day we met) will be turning 55 in February. There is a 26 yr age difference between us! At first I thought no way it can ever happen but little did I know that on that day I would meet the love of my life, my soul mate who I never want to lose ever. It scares me at times because of the huge age difference but the moment I think of us not being together my heart feels this immense pain. At times I question is this right? But everything feels perfect whenever we are together. Just needed to release that out there for the world to see. Any feedback is appreciated thanks guys and girls!

  • Elizabeth

    December 23rd, 2014 at 1:50 PM

    I’m 48 and last weekend spent the night with the most incredible guy of 28. I feel like my world has been turned upside down. I never ever thought in a million years this would happen. There’s a huge problem though. He is the son of my best friend. I feel wracked with guilt yet am thinking about him all the time. He told me not to worry. I’ve known him for the last 8 years and he’s amazing (like his Mum). I’m going to see him on new years eve as there’s a whole group of us going out. I’m so nervous and I know I should not let anything else happen but it felt so completely natural when I was with him. Perhaps I should get it out of my head as he quite probably doesn’t feel the same but I have a feeling that the attraction will take over. I don’t want to be hurt and I don’t want to mess up his life. And i’m not sure I’m ready to be a Mrs Robinson.

  • Alena

    December 9th, 2014 at 1:27 PM

    I am still quite young, 16 years old, and I fell in love with a man who is now exactly twice as old as me with the age-gap of 16 1/2 years (he turned 33 last monday). I don’t mind because I really do love him and I know I love him because I felt stuff like the typical teenage-love thingy before and it was nothing alike.
    At first I thought my parents would mind. I told my mother and she reacted pretty cool. At first. She says she accepts it but sometimes she seems to sabotage me! That hurts me quite a lot because it shows me she does not really want to accept it, doesn’t it?
    I have not told my father, because he is the boss of the guy but while talking to him about what would be if I had a boyfriend I guess he would care less than my mother!
    I do not care for others thoughts about him because I love him. Nevertheless it hurts knowing that my mother would try to seem accepting although she doesn’t seem to be actually…

  • Leone

    December 14th, 2014 at 8:30 PM

    I’m the same, I’m falling for a guy who is 19 years of a difference.. I’m 16, he’s 35. I know right now age matters, but when I’m older will it? And I’m scared to tell my mother because non of my friends are supporting me and it’s really stressful

  • Alena

    December 15th, 2014 at 12:38 AM

    I know how stressful it is. My friends are the same besides one whose bf is 8 years older than her. I would really like to tell my father because he at least agrees with me that age does not matter. But he does not know that this is actually the case at the moment. I think it would be quite nice letting my father know (because he is way different than my mother) but I am afraid he might tell my mother I told him and that he would ask who because he might have a problem that the guy is his assistant.
    It is hard but it might help telling your mother.

  • Leone

    January 8th, 2015 at 11:22 PM

    I told my mom today, turns out she doesn’t support it.. Which honestly kills. He makes me happy, makes me smile and laugh and makes me forget my problems.. We have been planning for the future, but no one supports me.. My mother wasn’t understanding about it :( so do I just let go of my happiness to please others, or do I continue to plan for my future with no support? I’m really heart broken at the moment

  • Alena

    January 9th, 2015 at 9:48 AM

    I know how you must feel about it.
    My mother said that she was okay with it when I told her I was in love with a 33-year old. Turned out she wasn’t which seriously did hurt.
    But I didn’t give up and you shouldn’t give up your happiness either.
    I don’t know which country you are from but where I am from such a relationship is legal and the parents can’t force to end it.
    If he makes you happy, don’t give up :)

  • Leone

    January 9th, 2015 at 4:32 PM

    I live in canada, he lives in Mexico.. My mom says that’s it’s all red flags but I still honestly like him!

  • Leone

    January 9th, 2015 at 4:34 PM

    I live in canada, he lives in Mexico.. My mom says that’s it’s all red flags but I still honestly like him.. Is there any way I can contact you? Like Facebook or something? I find that you and I have the same problem, maybe we can get through it together?

  • Shelby

    December 9th, 2014 at 5:52 PM

    Hello,

    My name is Shelby and I am 24 years old. I am with a man whom is 25. I have been with him for 9 years on and off, we have two beautiful kids together, but I feel as if he just doesn’t care for me. Our children do NOT live with us, they live with his mother. We live in a small town with hardly any jobs, I’m on workers compensation and he’s on EI. He refuses to find employment, I bust my butt off and all he does it play games with his head set on all day. I don’t want to live here with him anymore, I want to go back to my home town and be able to support myself and my kids but I’m feeling guilty leaving my kids behind.. I don’t know what to do. I have also found a man who is 36. We have been talking LOTS lately, known one another since 2012 and I am completely head over heels for each other. He lives in my home town. What should I do..? Thanks in advance. I’m open to any and all suggestions, opinions and thoughts!

  • annette b

    December 10th, 2014 at 1:44 AM

    I am pleased that I am not the only one in an odd relationship. It is awkward saying that out-loud, but this is how we have handled our love. I am so very glad I have found this forum. I was mortified for long time that I, as an older woman wanted to get involved with my best friends son and my daughters friend as well. I have known him since he was 3. I am glad to read that I am not alone. In the beginning, I believed that I was crossing some boundaries that should not be crossed. Many questions also ethical issue and was my feelings beyond romance.
    Our relationship has grown steadily over the years; he has always liked to touch me and holds me every chance he got, but I was always ‘not very accommodating’ and I did not let him know I had strong feelings for him. When he turned 18 I told him, I wanted to spend time with him as a friend and not only when we run or play tennis together. He had started holding my hand, touching me, hugging me, etc. I just wanted to enroll him in charm school if I could find one, he became so direct!! It was very hard to get him in the right mind set also because I am so in love; would the families think…is he at 18 capable of making sensible decisions etc….Well we started flirting outrageously and shamelessly with each other in public and our intimacy increased and he has been in my bedroom month after he turned 18. We have decided to go public, among family and friends as well, so far so good. We are now engaged and plan to move together. Still a lot of questions, what happened when I turned 50+ (ha)..how long will it last..and then the questions also from my friends..”do you have your younger fiancé so you can dominate him…” My big question, he has so little life experience, but we are in true love with each other and our age gap is 32 years

  • Elizabeth

    December 11th, 2014 at 9:01 PM

    I just turned 18 amd I’ve been talking to a close family friend who just turned 48 and we like each other but the age gap has left us dumbfounded. I was wondering, how has it worked out for you? I’m not sure whether or not we should take it further and seriously… Thank you

  • Jennafer

    December 10th, 2014 at 10:24 AM

    Hello. Reading everyone’s comments makes me feel alot better about my relationship. I am a 20 year old female and my bf is 38. We’ve been dating over a year now which means we started dating when I was 19 and he was 37. Before him I wasn’t a big believer in “love at first sight” but when we met it was an instant attraction. We met online and I moved in with him very shortly after and haven’t looked back. We fit togethet perfectly. We have little arguements like every couple does and I have even doubted that the relationship would work because of the age difference. But he has consistently reassured me that we will work. He stated first that he wanted to spend forever with me and we havent looked back sense. I am almost 100% positive he is my soulmate and he says that I am his as well. My grandparents love him and his family has already added me on facebook and we get along well. My biological dad and his wife love my bf but i havent introduced him to my mom and stepdad yet. And I am slightly worried. I always looked up for my moms approval over the years and ever since I turned 18 it has back fired. My mom and I dont get along very well and its almost to the point I would prefer to not have her be apart of my life (getting married, having kids etc). Her constant negative comments about I am never good enough and she doesnt acknowledge my accomplishments (first one in my family to graduate highschool with honors, I will be the first to graduate college with my BSN and how I am almost 21 with no kids unlike she was at my age and I have my head on straight). Do you think I am being too drastic with no wanting my mom to be apart of my life? (I have always dated older guys and she hasnt approved of any of them. She has shut me out of her life and my younger 4 sisters life because I havent done what she has wanted me to do. Any advice?
    Thanks so much.

  • Taylor

    December 10th, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    I am 19 years old and My girlfriend is 13 going on 14…I understand That is a big age difference but reading these comments makes me feel alot better about it. Im in love with her and to be completely honest when we talk I dont see an age I just see her for who she is…

  • Pa

    December 13th, 2014 at 4:19 PM

    I would be careful . I understand age is nothing but a number and by all means your girlfriend may be a really mature girl for her age. however She is just that a girl. not a woman yet . …. Just be careful of the age difference bc I’m pretty sure no matter where u live , if your over the age of 18 and she is younger then 16 then that is considered to be ‘ rape’ or ‘ illegal’

  • Ashley W

    December 10th, 2014 at 11:02 PM

    Well I’m 18 and I talk to this guy that’s 24 I like him a lot but since I’m so insecure with myself I feel like the age thing will tear us apart what should I do ?

  • Alena

    December 12th, 2014 at 3:26 AM

    Don’t worry about the age gap. My best friend is 18 and her boyfriend is eight years older. They are like the perfect couple and is just a nice example that it does not matter.
    I think if something tears a couple like that one might say it was the age gap but I bet the real cause is something different.
    Just try it so it makes you happy, try talking to him.
    I, for example, fell in love with someone who is 33 years old, so twice as old as me. I am a very shy person but I just tried talking to him normally

  • zammy

    December 12th, 2014 at 4:39 AM

    My partner is 16 years older than me. She is 49 now and I am 33.

    Its been good so far. Yes I do have concerns for the future. Say where will we be in another 20 years? I will still love her but not certain if i will be with her by then.

    Besides I am looking forward to having a child though this is not quite an option for her. BTW she has 6 kids already from two previous relationships. Quite possibly this is the best relationship I have been in so far. She cares about me a lot and I do too in return.

    I have genuine feelings for her but at the back of my mind I do wonder about our lives in a decade or so from now. I hate the thought of abandoning her which i promised my self not to do but the thought of me in my prime age whilst she entering a different category in life is bugging me constantly.

    Just want a bit of advice about talking to her openly of our imminent future.

  • cece

    December 12th, 2014 at 8:04 AM

    Hi I am Cece and I have a 17 yr old guy who likes me I talk too his mom she’s funny but he wants me too his girlfriend and I am 30 and I told his mom and she’s been wanting me too be with him but I truly do not know what too do he Is also asking me I knew him for 2yrs I hope he don’t ask me out if he does what do I say or do

  • Kibummie

    December 12th, 2014 at 8:54 PM

    So , I’m 14 this year and I’ve been taking baking and cooking classes since November. I met a guy there (he works there) , he’s not all that good looking to others (fairly small eyes , chocolate-colored skin , dimples , gummy smile , tall nose , deep voice , around 1.78 m (?) and he has very long and slender fingers that I’m envious of) , but he has good personalities and loves to joke around. I noticed that he has been looking at me every now and then and his ears immediately perks up when I speak , I developed a liking to him since a few weeks ago . Problem is that he’s 19 and there’s a 5 years age gap between us. I told one of my close friends about him and she looked at me weirdly , saying 5 years of an age gap is too big. Is it really though ? Because I really really like him , is a relationship with him possible ?

  • Kimberly

    December 16th, 2014 at 2:41 PM

    Until you are age 16, a relationship with anyone 18 and older is illegal. I was once in the same situation and I ignored good advice. I got used by the nicest, funniest and not perfect looking guy then dropped like garbage. That stuff happens to other people right? Wrong. Hope this helps cause this is a common outcome for this age range.

  • Kibummie

    December 22nd, 2014 at 6:08 AM

    Thank you so much for your advice . Turns out he’s a player who’s always targeting females ranging for 13 to 17 year olds. He asked me out a couple of days ago , I hesitated a bit and told him I needed a little time to decide. He said he understands and says he’s hoping he could get an answer soon , on the same day. I was buying groceries for dinner , I happened to see him with his arms around a girl seemingly no older than 16 and they seemed lovey dovey , anyone who looked at them would’ve easily guessed they we’re couple. I turned around and quickly walked away , the next day I told him I couldn’t go out with him . He looked disappointed and told me it’s alright . A couple of days later , I found out from one of my friends that the same thing happened to his younger sister who just turned 13 this year with the same guy , he used my friend’s family’s money to gamble. To anyone who reads this , becareful of people. You never know what type of a person your lover is .

  • Laurel

    December 12th, 2014 at 8:57 PM

    My husband and I have been together for 8 years. We married when I was 24 and he was 41, first and only marriage for us both! We have been married 2.5 years already, I am 26 and he is 43 now. Love is weird and happens when you least expect it that’s for sure. took both of our families a year to get use to our relationship, now they could not be More happy for us! Yes sometimes people In public think I’m his niece or something and we are able to laugh it off. We were meant for one another. We were pregnant on accident a month after we got engaged in 2012, but our baby ended up having something called Anencephaly which is 100% fatal, we are now trying again for a baby.

  • Derick

    December 18th, 2014 at 6:34 AM

    I’m 38 and talking to a 60 year old woman am I wrong for doing that I may be falling for her I don’t know what to do her kids are ok with it but I don’t know if I should or not

  • Aaron

    January 14th, 2015 at 1:41 AM

    I am deeply in love with a 60 year old woman I’ve gone to church with for two years. I am 23 years old . I’m insane right, something must be fundamentally wrong? See beautiful , smart, kind, sensual in a accidental way she’s unpurposefully that way. She’s never came on to me but I confessed I was very much in love with her last night and smiled and returned the sentiment. We’ve never kissed, never but I want to. I want her with all of my being but our community, our church, her kids would disown her. And she lets her kids rule her life and I am 9 years younger than her daughter. What am I to do? Should I simply cut my heart out cold?

  • Bob H.

    December 19th, 2014 at 6:49 PM

    Didn’t get married til 31 she 23 with a kid, I adopted I am 65 yrs.old wife 56 .married 35 yrs. Wife has no interest. I am clean, worked all My life for her.she hasn’t worked for 30 years. Just shopped for antiques and jewelry.always at her parents house every 2 weeks and every holiday fo 34 yrs.. Ive tried. Too many grandchildren and 30 yr.daught, with granddaughter and 25 year old son with fiance still living at home…,won’t move out. Neither will the wife put out. At the end of the rope, never cheated, but thinking about it. Healthy cisexual hetero man that enjoys women. Ready to call it quits.any suggestions,

  • Shea

    December 19th, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    I’m a 17 year old guy and have been friends with a 27 year old girl for awhile now. I’ve been lying to my parents about her age saying that she’s 20 because she looks very young. Things were just platonic at first but soon we began developing a likening towards each other and she really wants to commit to a relationship. I’m very mature in spirit and I do want to be with this girl and we’re perfect for each other. I just don’t know what people will say about our 10 year age gap and if my parents will even allow it. I’m just confused

  • Lou

    December 27th, 2014 at 3:36 AM

    I’m in the same situation only I’m a 17 year old girl a and he’s 27. It’s early days for us at the moment and I don’t think he wants to start anything properly until I’m 18 but I too worry about the age gap and what my parents and friends will think. I mean my parents have an 8 year age difference so it shouldn’t be too alien a concept to them. But I also worry people will think he’s taking advantage of me but it’s really not like that at all. I’ve not known him that long yet and we’re still in the getting to know you faze but he’s such a wonderful, amazing, lovely guy. I’m really into him and I just want to be able to make it work.

  • Nu

    December 20th, 2014 at 4:43 PM

    I find all your situations to be interesting. I find myself in a rut and would like advice or opinion for someone in a similar situation. I am 31 a single mother of 2 and I met a 22 year old he has amazing qualities and is very genuine he makes me the happiest I been in years. I want to run away from it all because of age difference and that I have children he doesn’t have any and never been involved with a woman who does. He keeps pulling me in telling me it’s fine but I just worry he will get bored with me because I’m not as available and to go from young wild and free to a instant family. I don’t want to have him resent me or any regrets that he’s missing out. I just know I’m at a point that my next relationship I would like for it to be the one. And when is it could to let him meet my children.

  • Christian S.

    December 27th, 2014 at 3:21 AM

    Go for it! If he says he loves you and wants to be a man for you by all means make him one, if he says he’ll be there for you he will, young love is the best love and when it’s tainted right it can last forever!

  • Mandy

    December 22nd, 2014 at 9:53 PM

    I am in a relationship with someone is 33 years older than me. I am 23 and he is 55, I would like to have him meet my family but I know that they will be on my back with nagging. I deeply care for him

  • gabby

    December 24th, 2014 at 10:46 AM

    Im 20 and met a 59 year old that’s the biggest age gap I’ve ever tries but we have a lot in common and enjoy each others company. My friends don’t mind as long as I’m happy, but we get the strangest looks when we are out in public. One because we are interracial and two because of the age difference. I hate when people ask me if I’m an escort or call me a gold digger because we genuinely care for each other. Now I just have to find a way to break it to my parents.

  • Sarah

    December 28th, 2014 at 8:18 PM

    Wow I have been looking everywhere for a big age gap like yours. I am 21 and my man is 54. We are also interracial and I totally understand the looks given from public. But the more we are out together the less we care what others think. Our personalities are perfect for each other and he has all the qualities in a man that I look for to spend the rest of my life with. But here is the problem we have been coming to recently. I am starting to think of us in the long run and as much as I want to have children with him, I also want to have someone to grow old with me and to look after our children together. Some people tell me that he has to let me go because he will hurt me in the long run. But I cant begin to imagine how miserable my life will be without him. I dont want to not be with him. But as I think about it, we may be able to withstand all those looks we get when we go out now, but what about later when he really ages? What if he ages and I no longer find him attractive that my eyes start to wander? It is not my intention to want to find someone else, what it is harder than done that I am sure of. And gosh, my parents will never accept us together and that would be another big barrier.

  • genie

    December 29th, 2014 at 7:55 PM

    Dear Gabby
    me and my husband of 3 years have been going through what you have been going through. We are an interracial couple and have a 19 years gap. I was only 15 When we met. It sound weird and disgusting for most, but we work it out. If your parents are supportive they would understand, and support you. There are going to be tough times but you must work it out.

  • gg

    December 24th, 2014 at 7:20 PM

    I’m a 39 yr old who has 3 children and a tubal ligation.. I met a guy who said he was 43, and I believed it.. He looks it… We connected right away.. Turns out he is 57 and I’m a little taken back, but I do love him.. He likes going out and drinking, but I have a 4yr old… What to do? I want to be there with him…

  • so what

    December 25th, 2014 at 6:18 PM

    I’m 22 and my boyfriend of only a month aND some is 38. I always wanted to be with someone my age but i find it difficult. I am a single mother of 2 and an entrepreneur and it’s hard to find people that are ok with my lifestyle.

    I never really believed in soul mates and it was ment to be. But our first date was incredible 13 hours I believe. We ended up spending the whole week together. (6 dates in a row). Our sexual chemistry is off the charts.

    I have a 1 year rule to meeting my kids and I broke that today and o don’t regret it one bit.

    My sister does not approve but she has no idea how crazy we are about each other. He’s helping me in my business ventures and I’m helping him with skills and ideas. We make an amazing team.

    We aren’t rushing anything but I swear it feels like live known him all my life. He is my bestfriend and I love him. (Not quite IN love yet, but working on it) :D

    Idgaf about age differences we’ll hit road blocks like any relationship and I know he’ll be willing to work them out with me as so will i. I’m happy as hell.

  • renee

    March 1st, 2015 at 4:16 PM

    I am glad I found your post, i really enjoyed reading most of them and this encouraged me to ignore te haters, i am turning 23 this year and me and this wonderful man is 38 and we are crazy about eachother. We have been talking for a few months and plan to meet soon. I think he is amazing and he said I’m different then all of the other women he came across. I really like older men regardless, we will see where this goes ♡

  • selina

    December 26th, 2014 at 5:24 AM

    I met a lovely guy on the Internet,he lives in Greece.I’ve been there 5 times to visit him. We call ourselves a couple.I love him v.much and see us being together in the future. I’m 50 and he’s 35. He has talked of children and does want them.I already have four grown up children. I love him and hope this will not cause a problem further down the line.Does anyone have any experience in this? X

  • Lola & King

    December 30th, 2014 at 12:32 AM

    I’m 18 and my boyfriend is 35, this is the oldest I’ve ever been in a relationship but he treats me like a queen. He has one son and talks about me moving in and marrying me once I graduated from school. Im overwhelmed sometimes because I’m not sure if he’s being serious or playing. He’s much older so he may not be. He gets upset with me a lot sometimes and we bump heads here and there like every relationship. He always makes sure I handle my school work and I stay focused even while we’re together and he shows how much he really cares for me . I cheated twice and he’s still here, I know he could’ve left because he was so upset and hurt the first time that he said it was over and didnt talk to me for a week. I thought he was being serious and I felt so guilty considering how much he said he would surrender to me and only be with me. But we talked again and I’m trying to rebuild my trust with him , I just want him to know I’m trying. I went to this article because I needed insight on us dating and it feels really good . it gives me a sense that this is real

  • Heavenlyy

    December 30th, 2014 at 10:54 PM

    I am 18 and my boyfriend is 35 as well. I am hoping it goes well for us. He doesn’t have children or anything. I really see him as a part of my future. He’s treated me amazing from the start. He takes me out and has introduced me to his close friends. I hope things work out for u too. We should both give it a little time.

  • Oan

    January 2nd, 2015 at 1:01 AM

    Hey you too…I’m on the same boat but the guy I recently been hmm could say seeing but it’s more of long distance so far is a man who is 33. I am 18 and we started talking after meeting online towards the end of my senior year of high school. I was 17 when we met (my birthday May 30) and I have never had a relationship but I’ve talked to multiple guys the start of my junior year but nothing ever happened. I have always thought when I was younger that I would never have a boyfriend of some sort until college. Then in high school I wanted to experience having a boyfriend but that never happened and I didn’t mind. As I said earlier I talked to multiple guys the start of junior year. A lot was mostly online. I did have crushes at my actual school in person but nothing ever happened. The guys I talked to and show interest in me too were usually older in the 20’s. Then I ran into him and it was just a short encounter he thought I was cute then I just continued the conversation because I was bored. During that time was still talking to other guys because nothing serious was happening. Overtime we just started talking more and eventually something grew. When we first video chatted he looked like he was in his 20’s I didn’t know how old he was BECUASE we just casually talked and asking about age just didn’t seem important to us then I guess since we just talked. He was shocked at first but then was okay with it. I of course was shocked but okay with it. The only thing that startled me was he looked young for his age haha. So eventually once we got close I grew feelings for him and we didn’t exaclty have a title yet as in saying we are a couple. I felt comfortable talking to him. But I always felt weird because we haven’t met yet. Yet I feel like I’ve known him for awhile. It’s just so weird because I never thought something like this would happen to me. I’ve told my closest friends and so far all of them are fine except for one that I just told tonight. Her reaction was what I expected and I feel like I should have not told her his real age. She was the only one to think he looked old from the pictures I’ve shown of us skyping while everyone else that has seen and talked to him thought the same as me…
    I don’t know after talking to her and telling her because she’s a close friend I felt that I needed to and I’m not good at lying and can’t lie so I told her and yeah. She’s scaring me to think about later on because he’s older than me 15 years. Questions on marriage and starting a family. In my mind I say yes because we have talked about certain stuff like thinking about what it would be like if we lived with each other and so on. I then backfired with her about how Tom Cruise ans Katie Holmes had a 16 year age difference and she said it was fine for them because they dated when they were older. See that’s is where I don’t understand with people when they despise large age gaps and look down upon them. It is the same thing they just met later on right? Like a bit later on for the younger one I suppose. I have a feeling she just feels protective because apparently I haven’t done anything with my life other than graduating high school which I say is b/s because I have done a lot in my life so far and have grown a lot just because I’m not a “full fledge adult” doesn’t mean I haven’t done anything– because I indeed have. Okay done with that little rant getting off track…This friend is a couple years older than me and is usually motherly towards younger peers and friends. That could be a big factor to her reaction but still…im scared of her threat of telling on me to my mother…
    I could see myself having a family with him too. Don’t know how but I just do. Just compared to all the guys I have talked to in my life both in person and online that he is the one for me. But of course I had to lie to this friend that was appalled and against our relationship to those questions because she would get more worried and against it and tell my mother which she has now threatened me. Because he plans to see me in April and I will be at Uni. By the way I have not told my parents. They are very traditional and strict also not very open minded. Reason also for never having a boyfriend is because of them. Anyways yeah she has now threatened me that I can’t be alone with him if he comes over. The age difference just bothers he so much. It does not bother me at all but the fact that she threatens me. I say as long as a couple is safe, reasonable, has trust and so on it is good that age doesn’t matter. Excluding not legal because that has to be met but if done right and safe then I say go for it if you feel strong for each other just keep in mind there are consequences. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m scared of family reactions later on if we stay together long enough. I hope so anyway. I feel in love and it’s just different from the rest I have talked to. We are happy together and can’t wait to meet. He is just so silly and weird and makes me smile. As we got to know each other we found out we have a lot of similarities. It’s just weird and so cliché but I think he is my soulmate. It just fits. I love how open minded he is and just everything haha. All that’s missing is the physical aspect which could be hard for long distance relationships but we work it out by just talking and messaging each other even if it can be annoying when you just want to hold someone’s hand and so on. But yeah that is how I feel. Should I feel bad about how my family would feel later on? I’m just scared of the reaction and if I would have to be dead to my family later on if it bothers them that much…I wouldn’t mind because my family is complicated but I do love them and know it will hurt later on if I guess they don’t understand…
    Right now though my main concern is now that I’ve told this friend and that she has threatened to tell on me to my mom if I am with him alone. Of course I plan to be with a friend to help me meet him up at the airport. He will be from the UK going to KS. We would be meeting in person around the time we first met online which I find funny and nice haha. But yeah…
    I mean if we plan to do anything it is most likely going to be safe…I don’t see the problem because I trust him and I am of age. I have not done anything yet but yeah…
    I’m scared just being told on…
    Because I know how my parents would react knowing how they are…especially ones that expect no relationship until I’m in Med school and meet another doctor and get married apprently :///
    But yep any suggestions and help?…I’m scared now

  • monie

    February 26th, 2015 at 3:37 PM

    Girl you are 18 . Dont worry about what other people have to say. Do you . If your parents dont except the one you love so be it . Its your life and you are the only one who has to live in it

  • alyssa

    January 5th, 2015 at 9:59 AM

    I need help!! Im 18 and started dating a 26yo who im falling for hard. I just recently had an apartment but moved back with my mom so i could focus more on school. When i told her how old my boyfriend is she said i cant be with him anymore cause she believes it is wrong. What should i do!?!?

  • Ava

    January 1st, 2015 at 11:48 PM

    I am 18, my boyfriend is 28. We are such a good match. We both live healthy lifestyles and have the same goals. He sometimes doesn’t like the age gap, It is hard because he wants kids when he’s 30…which means I’ll be 20. We’ve been together now for 6 months, and at our year point we want to move in together but I’ve never lived on my own so I’m not sure if moving in with a guy right away is the best thing. I love him and honestly I want to marry him, but I also don’t want to look back and say I didn’t experience my 20’s.

  • Gogoman

    January 2nd, 2015 at 9:23 AM

    Hey all,

    I’m a 28 yo man never married, and i really like a 20 yo girl. She seems to like me also. But what keeps me making the first move is the feeling that, other people could say that I want to take advantge of her. Do you you think it is a big age gap. Is it normal ? I am so confused :(

    P.S. Sorry for my bad english..

  • Alena

    January 3rd, 2015 at 11:54 AM

    Go for it!
    It doesn’t matter what others think but I find it interesting some people see an age gap as problem when everything else is okay kn their eyes.
    Don’t mind those people.
    I am a womam in love with someone who is 16 years older and it really shouldn’t matter.

  • Maria L.

    January 2nd, 2015 at 6:46 PM

    im 16 and im dating a 23 year old guy. my prents had met him and they accepted our realtionship.i want to move in with him without my parents knowing but im scared that he may go to jail .

  • Nayely

    January 6th, 2015 at 5:04 PM

    I am in the EXACT same situation as you..

  • KC

    January 3rd, 2015 at 4:43 AM

    Hello! I just want to also share my story to everyone. This is my way of also showing how proud I am to be with this man and I dedicate this to him. I’m a 22 years old female, Filipina from the Philippines and my boyfriend is 32,Latino from Argentina so we have a 10 years gap. Met him in 2012 and we’ve been together for 2 years now. As a person who never had a boyfriend I’ve always wanted to be someone’s first girlfriend, kiss or first love. So it was hard at first, for me to accept when I knew about his past. He has been in past relationships, had 2 ex fiances, that eventually, didnt end well. But when you truly love someone, you eventually learn to accept everything about a person. Honestly, with our age gap and distance, our relationship wasn’t easy. He is busy with work and I get busy with school therefore lack of time. I’m the one who also overthinks a lot, who is so insecure about herself and he hates it everytime I compare myself, so it always leads us to arguing almost everyday. But you know, I think that’s the advantage of being with someone older than you – he’s very patient, the one who will adjust, and understand. On the other hand, me being the immature one always want to break up. Females at my age usually tends to be so moody, yet he’s the one that always apologizes. He has taught me a lot of things about being in a relationship. He taught me how to be mature, how to fix things by telling each other our mistakes so that we can become better. There was a point though where we had this major fight where we really did break up – well we thought we did, but then we realized, we couldn’t lose each other. It was hard and I guess that’s how true love works. No matter how terrible that fight was, at the end of the day you still fight for your life, say sorry and continue to love each other more. I’m very happy because his family and friends knows we are together, as well as my friends who are very supportive. The only problem I have right now are my parents. I wanna be able to tell my parents about our relationship but I’m scared because they might not be able to accept our age gap and our different nationality. But I know they will eventually have to find out at the right time. He told me he will meet my parents and family once he comes here and I cannot definitely wait for that.
    This man is literally the man of my dreams. He is my answered prayer. We talk about getting married, how many kids we want in the future and our other plans. And now, I’ve never been happier. The longer we are together, the stronger we become and I couldn’t ask for more. No words could ever express how this man means the world to me. He is my life. He is my everything. I know that God gave Him to me for a purpose and I won’t give up.

    You know guys, you know it when true love comes. Fighting for it never comes easy. Especially having a big age gap, but I honestly believe it depends on how the two of you work it out. Dont mind what other people say. So what if s/he or you are older? You have the right to choose who you want to love and be with. And if you are happy, no age and distance cant stop you, after all you will always end up with the right person you were always meant to be with. But most of all, put God in the center of your relationship. 😊

  • Regi

    January 5th, 2015 at 2:58 AM

    I felt the same thing. I always wanted to be someone’s first love, it is just really hard for me to forgive and forget what he’s done in the past. I am married with him. Feel very moody all the time. I spoke to my friends about it. They all blamed it on me. But I guess they also dont understand how I feel when I heard about his past, besides my friends married with someone same age with them. I used to love him. But right now, I feel super insecure. Always compare myself with his exes. Any idea what should I do? I really want to be married once in my life. But what if I cant forget it?

  • KC

    January 17th, 2015 at 8:44 AM

    Hello Ms. Regi! Its normal for us females to always want to be men’s first love. Its normal for us to be insecure about it but for the sake of your relatiobship you have to learn to accept his past. That is the reason why you’re moody most of the time and I tell you men dont like that. I was like you before, everytime my boyfriend and I talk about sex I always get moody, it was because I was scared he might compare to me his exes. I was scared he was thinking of his ex when he makes love to me. It kills his mood and that’s where we start arguing. He told me if I kept doing that, I am not only hurting myself but him also. And that is true. He always reassured me that he has forgotten everything, every single memory and those people he was with before because he regretted those years. I had to adjust honestly, it took me awhile but I had to TRUST him. Now I’ve learned to accept that he used to be with other women. It hurts yes, but its all about acceptance. Your husband should reassure you too. What are you isecure about? Does he always talk about his ex? Communicates with them still? If he still does that, then I think something is wrong and you should tell him how you feel and ask if he really loves you. How is he treating you in your relationship? If he doesnt talk about his past anymore then why should you be the one to always bring it up? Its not healthy, its killing your relationship. You are his wife now. He married you. Men will always be men. You can never always expect to be their first love. You may not be his first but what’s important is you are his last. :)

  • AR

    January 28th, 2015 at 5:38 PM

    Hi KC. Your story really affects me. I’m 17 and have been in a situation similar to yours. Your own encouragement regarding the age gap especially with God gives me hope and helps me more than you can ever imagine. I am currently writing an English essay arguing how “age doesn’t matter in relationships” and having my past experiences kind of inspires me to put more effort into this project, but while reading these people’s stories including yours actually inspires me personally :) thanks

  • CMruler

    January 3rd, 2015 at 10:09 AM

    In response to #56 & 57(and other similar situations)…I am a 59 yo unhappily married (actually separated) to a 54 yo white man BUT currently in a now 6 yr relationship w/ a 39 yo black man. Many times I have tried to give him room to “fly” & we can’t seem to go for more than a wk w/o communicating in some way. He makes me feel ALIVE & I respond by “helping” him in areas of business affairs, etc..There is an intense electrical charge btwn us whether it be bad or good. I still don’t understand how, why or how long this will continue…but at this point, I take it w/ a grain of salt. I am being cautious. My husband is aware of this “companionship” & now is actually grateful I have someone I can relate to as my husband & I don’t see eye-to-eye in spite of the 32 yr marriage. Maybe my boytoy see’s the long-term marriage as a positive thing?? Anyway…go w/ the flow folks…cm

  • sarah

    January 6th, 2015 at 4:11 PM

    I am a 20 year old girl and I’m in love with a 45 year old man, i know thats an extreme amount of age difference but we love each other immensely. No one seems to agree with us but i don’t care. But i can’t do anything about it. He accepts me more than anyone my age and helps me become more mature. I love him. HELP

  • Paul A.

    January 7th, 2015 at 1:53 PM

    Hi My name is paul and i an 26 years old (african) and i an in love with a 53 years old philippino woman. I really don’t know if i should go for the relationship coz i am kinda sacred of the age thing. I live in my part of africa while she is in the philippines and she is even insisting that i come and meet her. Please what do i do?

  • CMruler

    January 8th, 2015 at 9:11 AM

    Paul…Go meet her!! Go out in public (like a grocery store to get your feelings). Most of all—enjoy your time together no matter-no harm done!! Cm

  • Leone

    January 8th, 2015 at 11:13 PM

    I’m 16 years old, falling for a 35 year old (19 years difference) he lives in Mexico and I live in canada. I have gone through so much pain but he makes me happy, we are planing our futures together.. But I have no support :( they think the age difference and the distance is a bad.. What should I do? Someone please help me?

  • jasmine

    January 12th, 2015 at 11:48 AM

    Im 18 and my boyfriend is 27 i live in the U.S and he’s from Mexico. I think if he really makes you happy you should go for it i see you are 16 and i was 16 when i met my bf . And we’ve done the same making plans and stuff. if you feel hes the one for you. You should stick to him because he could be the one you end up with happily for the rest of your life. Dont care about what people say its your relationship. Just live your life (:

  • Alyssa

    February 17th, 2015 at 9:12 AM

    I have a 20 year age gap in my relationship. We met nearly a year ago, when I was 16 and he was 35 (turning 36). I ended an abusive relationship because of how well he comforted me. I’m 17, he’s about to turn 37, and we’re happier than ever. My mom loves him. My dad doesn’t know. His family and most friends think I’m 20. But it works for us. He tells me all the time I’m the most mature girlfriend he’s ever had. I admire him for experiences and hardships. We get along better than anyone I know. I could marry this guy and be forever happy no matter how we age. I love him, he loves me. It works.

  • Alena

    February 19th, 2015 at 10:09 AM

    I would’ve answered earlier, but I couldn’t.
    Remember my post? I know how you feel.
    I’d like to give you some mire advice as well as I’d like some help myself cause it is hard to get through something like that when it becomes difficult…

  • chia

    January 10th, 2015 at 8:02 AM

    I am dating a guy who is seven years older to me. He is 25 and I am 18. We love each other very much. But our parents don’t approve because they think its a big age gap. So eventually we had to tell them we broke up. Our families were very close and we didn’t want to spoil those relations. But we realised we cannot stay without each other. We cannot go a single day without each other. So we decided that after my graduation we’ll get married. But my mother has said to me that if she ever finds me with him in the future, she and my family will break all relations with me. Is it really that bad that I’m dating him? I don’t understand what to do. He says he’ll always wait for me. Should I really go for that?

  • Debra

    January 11th, 2015 at 2:41 PM

    I’m considering an age gap relationship after meeting someone on my holiday in Egypt last month. I’m 42, he’s 20. We started off just chatting on Skype for me to learn some Arabic but we have fallen for each other. He is a kind, romantic man who is very thoughtful, not like any man I’ve met before. I’m very scared of what the future holds because its not possible for either of us to visit each other very often, nor could I move to Egypt due to my children here. I’m very confused right now

  • Diana

    January 11th, 2015 at 3:15 PM

    i am 51 and I fell in love last year with a guy 35 from another country and race. Things seemed perfect relationship wise but there are so many hurtles for us to be together and is putting a wedge between us. i do not want to have to deal with these hurtles and his country is catching on that he spends more time in the US then his own country. We can not get married because of financial reasons. I have met a guy that is 21 and omg he is so perfect. Exactly what I have been searching for and dreaming of….. here is the issue that I see. I feel like I should be the adult in this relationship and break it off with him because he wanted kids. I can not have anymore. What happens later down the road after we invest time together and he decides he does want them and leaves to be with someone that can give him kids? I don’t want to waste my precious years to find out later down the road it was a waste of time. We love each other so much and enjoy each others company. Its like we were connected in another life.

  • Stan

    January 14th, 2015 at 2:31 PM

    I was 45 when I started dating my wife. She was 19. Her parents were not happy but trusted her decision and that she was very mature for her age helped. We married 5 years later. I resisted at first but eventually agreed to have a child with her and we used a sperm donor. We have now been together 15 years and the older we get, the less our age gap is an issue. By issue I almost entirely refer to the coldness of others we meet. It’s similar I imagine to a bi-racial couple, or gay couple experiences. The personality of the age-gapped couple has everything to do with how well you can do together. My wife loves black and white movies and songs older than the Beatles or Led Zeplin that I grew up to. I also prefer Adult Alternative to music from my youth. So, she is a bit of an old soul and I am young at heart. Biggest regret is that there are no similar aged couples we can hang out with. So, we are somewhat isolated in that regard. But as parents we are busy as a family anyway. The kids can be a handful for me at times but this time around, I know how fast they grow up and I enjoy the moment more. So, each couple has to understand there will be difficulties but it gets easier and less relavent as you both age. Hope that helps those of you thinking the age gap may stop your love.

  • Emma

    January 11th, 2015 at 8:37 PM

    so is a 16-22 year old age gap really that bad? im just worried i wont be able to fulfill what he’d need out of a relationship.

  • jessica

    January 12th, 2015 at 12:09 PM

    So im 17 and my bf is 26 we been together 1 year and 4 months. When im 18 and graduate this year im planning to go move with him in mexico but idk what my parents will think.they arent the most understanding parents. But i really want to tell them about him alittle bit after im 18.and my boyfriend is getting upset because i won’t tell them. So he’s thinking of himself as a secret.and its just not thst simple. My brother and my bf are the same age and they have talked before. My brother was ok with it but idk how my parents will react..any advice anyone???? :(

  • Leone

    January 12th, 2015 at 8:51 PM

    Hi :) in all honesty, just tell your parents. Don’t just say “I’m moving to mexico” but explain how you are feeling about this… Do what makes you happy and don’t tell both parents at the same time… Go one on one. Your happiness does matter, it’s your life, do what makes you happy. All parents will support children if it makes them happy.. I have a 19 year difference.. I know where you are coming from

  • Rita

    January 12th, 2015 at 9:13 PM

    hello, im a black young women at the age of 21. And this guy i am talking to is a older white man at the age of 33. which makes it a 12 years difference. years ago we technially introuduce meet for the first time. around 2012 or 2013. me and couple of people including him went a bar together and we started communicating from there. we ended the night sharing the same bed iif you get what i mean. haha well long story short things didnt go good because of me not wanting the drama it would or may cause for certian people. my family basically raised him when he was 5 and he use to see me at y aunts house when i as litle running around. i was so young i dont remember. my family knows about us havig a once night stand and they cried ut they never told my mother or my mother never comfronted me about the situation. well recently we have been in the same bars on the weekend and we flirt or dance with each other but never go father because i dont wanna get hurt or want/need the drama. two nights ago we was a the same bar again and he told me that he was in love with me and seen us getting married to each other and got mad and jealous when i danced with other guys. i also get angry and jealous when he does the same with other females. we had a good night and ended the night saying i love you and we go our seperate ways. we got each others numbers and texted and the next day i went to his house and ate dinner with him and stayed the night! our sexual chemisty is out of this world. and he told me that he wants to be best friends and see where things goes cause he knows i still love my ex of 5 years my ex is 22 years old but currently in prison for 6 more months also white male. the 33 year old tells me he loves all the time and wants me to be loyal not hurt him im secertly falling for him but idk if he is being real with me not mention he has 5 kids. but he does take of them. PLEASE GIVE ADVICE!! thank youfor your times

  • sarah

    January 15th, 2015 at 2:45 PM

    I’m 14 and a guy I like is 32. We have a 18 year age gap but we both have feelings for each other. We won’t date each other because I’m scared of what my parents will say because of our age difference. He also lives in India and I live in the USA. What should I do?

  • Cujo

    January 16th, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    Is this online? You should watch out for scammers …. Not judging just thinking about your safety… Don’t reveal too much until y.ou can be sure he’s sincere and real

  • mom

    January 18th, 2015 at 11:01 PM

    He sounds like a pedifile

  • Joseph

    January 16th, 2015 at 3:07 AM

    I met my wife when she was 14 & I was 29. I didn’t go looking for a young teenage girl we just happened to both be in a lake swimming fully clothed, me in jeans her in a dress, and we hit it off straight away. We didn’t even ask ages until we knew we liked each other but we’d meet every day at the Lake to talk and swim and have fun. 20 years later we have three kids and an amazing marriage. Oh, and we still don’t own swimsuits hehehe!

  • Ava

    January 17th, 2015 at 10:35 AM

    I’m 30 year old woman seeing a guy who is only 17 the last 3 months. It’s legal age in this country and he 18 soon, two of us are mad about each other, get on so well, totally fell for each other, he has told me he loves me and I love him, his family have given me an awful time over it to the extent of slandering me on so aul media site, I had the decency to try speak to his mother and tell her my intentions were never to hurt anyone and that I really care about him she seems to have settled about the whole thing and said she can’t do anything about it but it just isn’t sitting well with her, I don’t want to put myself through getting grief for it to all to end up for nothing, feel very insecure about the fact he is so young and his mind could change so quickly and trade me for a younger model as they say! He constantly tells me he doesn’t want any young one he just wants to be with me, I really do feel he loves me but am concerned it will be short lived because of the age gap, I have 3 children which he said is no issue and has met my youngest introduced as a friend as still very soon but I don’t want him to miss out or have to take on all this at his age, I don’t look or act 30 still a responsible parent but can have fun! Absolutely mad about this guy and we get on so well, very afraid to let myself fall too hard incase of getting hurt, I did try and finish it to protect both of us but he got so upset and said he couldn’t walk away, I didn’t want to end it either and felt he really proved he wanted to be with me so said we give it a go, I am so nervous! Do these relationships with a massive gap ever last?

  • Smb

    April 7th, 2015 at 7:32 PM

    I am 26 dating a 19 year old he will be 20 this summer I will be 27 it has been the best 2 years of my life although people may not like or understand the relationship if you and your partner communicate and on the same page it could absolutely work I know that my man will be my husband the father of my children because I prayed for him he is my best friend all that matters is what you and him want and ultimately if your relationship great keep its so hard to find real love and happiness so if you get it keep it my bf loves me is patient with me and makes sure where always on the same page

  • mom

    January 18th, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    I know someone who could be 15 seeing a 47 year old, who feels this is ok

  • stimpy

    January 19th, 2015 at 9:55 PM

    I’ve been with my husband since I was 19. I’ll admit that when I hit my thirties I realized that it bothered me when people would say he’s my dad. The other thing is where he’s 22 years older, he thinks he knows more therefore I should only look to him for advice. I have a good life with him, we built our business and small wealth together but I’ve gotten tired of following in his tracks and am also feeling attraction to men of my own age. These are things that I never imagined 19 years ago. Ultimately, maybe it can happen to people who are of similar age as well.

  • stimpy 2

    January 19th, 2015 at 9:56 PM

    I’ve been with my husband since I was 19. I’ll admit that when I hit my thirties I realized that it bothered me when people would say he’s my dad. The other thing is where he’s 22 years older, he thinks he knows more therefore I should only look to him for advice. I have a good life with him, we built our business and small wealth together but I’ve gotten tired of following in his tracks and am also feeling attraction to men of my own age. These are things that I never imagined 19 years ago. Ultimately, maybe it can happen to people who are of similar age as well.

  • Lexi

    January 21st, 2015 at 2:04 PM

    I’m 17 from London and my boyfriend is 29 and from the US. we met in London when he was travelling and he started talking to me every other day when seeing me at my workplace and after a while we started to go out and realised that we really liked each other. when I told him how old I was (being 16 at the time) it didn’t bother him like I thought it would as after I thought he knew how old I was he would stop coming to talk to me. However, he didn’t and we enjoyed a few days together out getting to know one another. however, after 2 months of talking he had to go back to the US because of his child and life over there. we have been officially dating for nearly 5 months now and talk every day for hours. however, I’m worried about the long distance as well as the age gap, this has started to worry me because of the way that we aren’t close to one another anymore, being in different countries and even though I have told my close friends and mum about him. because he is so far away and the age gap no one is really supportive and I feel that I only told them because we were getting serious as he wants me to move out there with him and have a future together. but im worried that he’s having second thoughts or is embarrassed about the relationship as he hasn’t said anything about me to anyone. I don’t know if this is because of how much younger than him I am or if this is a sign for something else. he is always saying that he wants more as in me going over there and living with him and possibly getting married but when I think about the commitment that that evolves I wonder if anyone else has had a situation like this? it does upset me a lot that we are apart because we do love one another and I know I do want something more than what I have now but I a not sure about what to do with the situation and no one around me can help with advice or support because they’re not 100% happy with the situation. although I know my mum is being supportive in the way that she isn’t saying that I cannot talk/ visit him but she does feel uncomfortable with me talking about him to her, which is strange because I normally talk to her about everything. I think the main thing that I am worried about is me making all of the sacrifices and changing my life to go over there and be with him when it could all fall apart. reading through these comments and reply’s I was just wondering if there is anyone who has any advice or experience with my situation?

  • bri

    January 26th, 2015 at 2:32 PM

    I need help! I am 14 years old and am in love with a 30 year old. The age difference is 17 but I love him so much. I really think my parents would adore him but I’m afraid to tell them. What should I do?!?

  • Jacinda

    January 26th, 2015 at 9:18 PM

    Bri I understand where you are coming from. I am 18 years old and head over heals for a guy who is 38. He does everything he can to make me happy and comfortable with our relationship. He is mature and has his life on track and so amazing! Your young. So am I. The difference is though you could cost him some jail time. Be honest with your family but be careful about publicizing your relationship while you are still under age

  • stimpy 2

    January 31st, 2015 at 2:04 PM

    It’s not really love. It’s infatuation. I would consider counseling before you do anything you might regret when you’re older. And yes, your boyfriend could get serious jail time for having sex with a minor, which is what you are.

  • Joe

    August 9th, 2016 at 11:42 PM

    Bri, l know it feels like love but it’s infatuation. You will grow and this man didn’t grow and relates to a 14 year old child. When you’re older you will understand.

  • Ryan

    January 26th, 2015 at 8:40 PM

    I’m in the eighth grade and I’m a guy and i like a girl in the sixth grade. as I don’t plan to make a move until I know her better and get comfortable with each other I want to know if that’s okay. I’m going into high school next year and she’s going into seventh obviously I’m worried about what others may say if it works out. I feel like the feelings are there considering we both give each other extremely nice texts daily and we hang out as much as possible. so my question is: What should I do if I’m in love with a sixth grade girl and I’m an eighth grade guy? BTW: She’s been with an eighth grader in a past relationship.

  • Sue

    February 4th, 2015 at 7:50 PM

    I’m pretty sure that isn’t such a big gap. When I was in sixth grade, I had a crush in an eighth grade guy. I think this is great and you should go and try to know her better :)

  • dylan

    February 2nd, 2015 at 10:04 PM

    I just turned 29 and I’ve been dating a 17 yo for roughly 7 months she’s my ultimate best friend. Her parents don’t know and it’s really hard. We work together so a friendship developed and just grow into a relationship. My stepmother is 16 years older than my dad so I know it isn’t that uncommon, but is there any advice to maybe take some burden off her shoulders?

  • Krissa

    February 4th, 2015 at 5:26 AM

    Dylan, as a young 29yr old, woman with a fiance 21 years her senior, I can tell you that age differences can and do work, however; in your circumstance, 12 year gap with her being still considered a minor, is a tricky one and one you will both have to tread carefully with.

  • Sue

    February 4th, 2015 at 7:52 PM

    I’m in eighth grade and I like this senior guy. I know, it’s weird, but we met through marching band and we are pretty close. We text and I started to like him. I don’t like liking him but I do. I also feel like he likes me back but it isn’t sure……… Help! Should I just leave it as a crush or should I go more? Thanks! :)

  • Tasha

    February 5th, 2015 at 10:15 PM

    I am 18 and my boyfriend is 22, it’s not a huge age gap but we have had to face many challenges. I am a senior in high school and he has been out of school for 5 years, he doesn’t understand half the things I am going through. But we are literally perfect for each other, he’s my best friend. One of our biggest issues has been my parents, they do not suppory my decision to date a guy who is 4 years older than me. His parents are completely fine with us and actually love me for their son. I don’t see a problem with the relationship because he gives me all the love and support I need, way more than I would get from any guy my own age. However, I just want to know if I should worry because my parents are unsupportive? I don’t want to disappoint them but I also know that he is perfect for me and I don’t want to be with anyone else. He’s my forever

  • Sophie

    February 6th, 2015 at 1:56 PM

    I’m 23 and my boyfriend is 40. Is that too big of an age gap?. I want kids he already has two and doesn’t want any more that’s the only issue.

  • JennaG

    February 7th, 2015 at 10:08 AM

    I’m currently 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We’ve been dating for 6 months now and we met through work. When we met I was in a different relationship with a guy my own age but he did not support me.anyhoe when I met my current boyfriend things went pretty quickly. My dad does not agree with this relationship at all Exspecialy with him being a coworker and the age differnece he said to me what if you have kid’s? me and the boyfriend plan ok moving out west in about 4 months. I’m just a little worried that the age gap won’t leg us have kids we both want kids though.

  • Carolus

    February 7th, 2015 at 11:07 AM

    I happen to live in a depressed country where a large age difference is frowned upon generally.One such relationship almost destroyed my career, I’m disgusted by the retartedness of the people in Serbia. I wonder if the situation is the same in other ‘slave’ countries, with 19th century ‘zeitgeist’.

  • rix

    February 7th, 2015 at 11:40 PM

    Hi im 35yrs old married for 10 yrs with 2kids and a guy 21 yrs old fall in love on me… his graduating a nautical but because of luck money he need to work as a driver . He accidentally bump my car that why we met each other.at 1st He always txting me for the cars situation.to tell the truth i feel in love with him too but i know this is not right so i always tell him find a nice women with a your same age . One night he call me and tell that his going to commit suicide so i go rush to where he is. And in un expected things happen just because i fall in love too. After that night we txt and i reply but one day i start not to txting him back because i know it is not right i can ruin his life. And mine too even though i dont love my husband fully i need to continue it just for the sake of my kids. our age gap is 11yrs and its so seriously ashame on me if i continue my relationship with him i cry everynight just the same with him when i call him to stop this kind of relationship coz i know its my fault and i feel guilty but i try to move on i dont txt him even in road i choose the longest road just to make sure he dont see me anymore so he can move on too. Even im worried that i can be pregnant with that things happen i need to move away from him just before it go long and grow. I am older qqyrs from him i know i can make it. And i prepared my self to be honest to my husband even i dont feel the way i feel with that 21yrs old im going to tell the truth and be just friend wheather he like it or not but im not going to meet again the young man im going to live by my own i live my kids with him so they wont suffer on my side set a day when can i go out and visit the kids thats all. I just share my experience and i do hope that my on my next life i can find him so i wont made a the same mistake again. I hurt them both but me and my kids is in good Relation still.my husband want me to come back to him but i choose not to. Im afraid that i may do it again another problem another hurting someone this is my 1week wrong lovestory.thank you for reading this .

  • nicole

    February 14th, 2015 at 8:27 AM

    Think about this I did this two yrs ago and it was lust in the way I tore my family apart and live with that everyday. The grass is not always so green on the other side. Find that spark with ur hubby again all relationships turn out the same happy, can’t get enough of each other then routine. I left and got divorced thought the new guy was just amazing he was not and we are not together now. I had to share my daughter on holidays the first Christmas morning without her ripped my heart out. I hope this can help.

    Nicole

  • CMruler

    March 9th, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    Nicole…first of all—my thoughts R w/ U as I could B in the same predicament.. My hubby is fully aware of my communication w/ my boytoy & vice versa. I try to keep the 2 relationships separate all the while giving ea his space & time. Both NEED something from me which makes me feel ALIVE & worthy w/o feeling overwhelmed.. TSC 4 UR input…cm

  • cj

    February 9th, 2015 at 3:27 PM

    Hello, my name is CJ. I’m 16 and I have a son. (Obviously my son comes first) but I have a question. I have gotten really close to a guy but he’s in his 30’s and I don’t know what to do. My parents accept him, and he treats my son just like his. But I’m worried if its illegal for him and I to be together because I dont want him to get into trouble. Please help!

  • Bella

    April 8th, 2015 at 6:33 AM

    You guys can be together, but you can’t get Married until your eighteen and you can consent to sex if your 16 + so it should be fine.

  • Lars

    February 10th, 2015 at 5:40 AM

    Im 51 and my partner is 37…In very many ways she is more mature and wise than I. I don’t think she feels our age difference or at least not in a negative way. I didn’t feel this difference in the beginning either but I have to admit that now I do feel the difference but that is likely down to my own self image issues. We dont have a large circle of friends and or couple friends so we basically have each other. I admit I miss the company of people closer to my own age. Our closest couple friends are 18 years apart and had a child together early in their relationship…we didn’t and that has been an issue as well. I consider having been in four serious committed relationships in my life. The first two we were no more than 2 years apart the last two have been differences of 10 and now almost 15 years. I honestly was not looking for a younger woman it just happened and i do admit I when i discovered our age diff I did think about whether it was a good idea. Im not sure how this will end up as I find myself missing the company of people closer to my age and at times feeling uncomfortable in social outings with someone this much younger…again that is really down to my own issues not what others have felt or commented on. I have probably 4 or 5 male friends that have partners 12-18 years younger and apart from one, which ended in divorce the others appear to be working. I guess all i can add is that its truly up to the people involved as to whether there are significant issues or not, but certainly baby and potential health in later years can be things that will have to be dealt with.

  • Norman M

    February 16th, 2015 at 9:40 AM

    I have read most of these comjments and the replys,I had to because I am engaged to a woman 35 years of age,myself being 77,but in love with each other.No we did not ask anyones opinion,we are not interested what they may think.However we know it is going to be one long hard struggle before relatives and friends realise things like this can happen.Incidently I am on benefits she is not after my money.Unless it`s the winter fuel allowance that attracts her.

  • jim

    June 2nd, 2015 at 1:32 AM

    Hi well I’m 67 have been retired for a few years, and I have a girlfriend 28 it wasn’t anything I expected but first she fell madly in love with me ,and I tried to ignore her,she is very stunningly beautiful and could have any man but she kept after in so many lovingly ways, but now I’ve opend my heart and its been like spring! I never knew love. But now I do.

  • Jp

    February 19th, 2015 at 2:35 PM

    Its funny I found this article, I never post on things like this but I notice there aren’t many responses from men or people in relationships where the woman is the older partner. Im a 27 year old man who will celebrate my 6 year anniversary with my 55 year old wife next month. We had known each other for a few years before we were ever romantically inclined but when I was 18, living on my own and trying to half-ass my way through college, we struck up a friendship. Over the course of the next year we spent more and more time together and would sometimes crash at each other’s houses since we lived an hour away from one another. Eventually things got physical. We are both very serious but sensitive people. Neither of us knew if we could make a romantic relationship happen but we both felt that once a relationship became sexual it was impossible for it become platonic and still be healthy. We didn’t want one instance of reckless passion to eclipse our friendship and importance that we had in each other’s lives. Mutually we agreed to spend some time apart and consider our next step and the impact it would have on us. For a week I struggled with my decision. My now-wife had always been a wonderful friend to me, we had a lot in common and had helped each other through some difficult times; but I could not imagine being able to love her romantically and sexually through our age difference. When we met again we agreed that we had too much of a good thing to pass up. We knew that our decision would not come without its difficulties but we both fully committed to a serious relationship with one another. Two years later we married. While we do have a huge age difference we have many factors in our favor. We were, and still are, in similar stages in our lives. She had gotten out of a failed marriage, raised two kids to adulthood and had no real career or reason to keep living in the place she where had been. I was just starting my adult life and my only goal was to grow up and see where life would take me, so we were essentially stepping from the same stone. She is as much a young soul as I am an old soul. Both of use are physically fit and take care of our bodies. We watch our diet and push ourselves and each other to our limits physically and relationally. We both know what we want and we both pursue what is important to us to our absolute fullest. Love and relationship have never been something that either of us have taken lightly. Our families came to accept our love quickly because of these traits. We did lose the majority of our friends, but in retrospect we agree that they were people we probably would have strayed from anyway. We don’t seem to garner the stares and rude remarks that other people have said they experience. Its possible that we don’t look terribly far apart in age physically, but we also feel that our love is something that people sense and they tend not to second-guess it. My wife and I come with no disclaimer, apology or explanation. We kiss, hold hands, dance and share drinks no matter who we are around. I bring her to company events and social gatherings and we act no different at those places as we do at home. I can count on one hand the number of stares or remarks we’ve gotten in the entire history of our relationship. I love my wife dearly and do not, in any way, regret the decision I made to love her. I cannot tell anyone that they should or should not enter a relationship like mine. I have no advice to give and I do not know what the future may hold for us and others like us. The only thing I know for certain is that this relationship would not be where it is today if my wife and I hadn’t committed to each other from day one and strived to maintain commitment each and every day after.

  • Chris

    February 22nd, 2015 at 11:26 PM

    I wish there was a like button.

  • Steve B.

    February 23rd, 2015 at 6:38 PM

    Great story. Like like like.

  • Darlene

    April 3rd, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    Hi Jp…Im so glad to read your story. I have so many young men who keep asking me out but because of the age difference I shy away. I would love to go out with them. I do not look my age Of 56. And dont feel that old. He is an old soul so he tells me all the time. After reading your story I will now give it a chance. Thank you so much. God bless you both!!!

  • Karol

    May 11th, 2015 at 4:27 PM

    God bless you and many more years!! Thank you so much!!

  • Amy

    February 20th, 2015 at 1:49 PM

    I’m 26 and in love with a 42 year old man.. I’m head over heels and he will do anything for me and I won’t let our relationship move forward as I’m worried about what everyone will say. We live in a very close knit community and He was married and still is and filing for divorce, his marriage had breaking down when I met him and just to be clear under no circumstances was I the reason the marriage failed, there was no home to wreck as it were. He has 5 kids and I have 3which is also scaring me and playing on my mind please please someone give me some advice it would be very much appreciated

  • naomi

    February 22nd, 2015 at 10:14 PM

    if he’s with you while he’s married to someone else, who’s to say he might not go after someone else while he’s with you? statistics show that a person who cheats (even just emotionally cheating) is more likely to do it again. just food for thought of course I don’t know your entire situation. if both of you have the means to provide for all 10 of you if your families joined than the main issue will be making sure the kids get along, but that can work out on due time. but if you’re not financially capable of providing for 10 people, then don’t try to put the families together.

  • Elsie

    April 4th, 2015 at 9:15 AM

    Naomi, Amy isn’t saying she’s the reason. He didn’t cheat with her, he was already on his way out.
    Amy, I’ve been in your situation. My ex had 3 kids and I worried about what being a step mom would be like, especially at 22. It didn’t work out for me, but in order for you to decide you have to think about what the day to day will be like. Do the kids hate you? Is he EXTREMELY supportive of your parenting style? i.e. Are you on the same page? Is the ex going to be a major problem? Are you confident enough to rise above what may become a cat fight between you and the ex? Keep in mind that wives who are left often fear they will lose their kids too, even if you aren’t the reason he left.
    If the divorce is amicable you might be ok- but do NOT open yourself emotionally in any way to the ex, even if she tries to relate with you. Be nice but “professionally” distant. You’re with him, not her, and don’t think for a second she won’t use something she knows against you if she feels threatened. …

  • Emmy

    February 21st, 2015 at 3:36 PM

    Hi I hoped someone could help me. I am 38 and my boyfriend is 21, we have been together 11 months and just spent four days away in London celebrating Valentines and our relationship just seems to flow and we talk all the time and we even in a Long Distance Relationship too but that doesnt seem to change things as we always are caring and understanding to each others needs, but the problem I have is that he keeps us a secret he suffers with anxiety and says he cant imagine me mixing with his friends and family but he used to think we couldnt go out and do things together but we have since been out many times so he knows he can conquer his fears, but It does make me quite insecure/suspicious and not sure whether I should just take it a day at a time or say that I feel that if he truly loves me he would tell the most important people in his life that I exist, as it effects times we meet up and times we could be spending together, just any views or tips would be great.

  • naomi

    February 22nd, 2015 at 10:09 PM

    hi emmy,
    it seems to me that he’s embarrassed to be seen with you. and it might not even have anything to do with you as a person. just that he might feel as if he’s “less of a man” because you’re older and people usually associate age with maturity. just my view on it of course so please don’t take it personally.

  • Jen

    February 23rd, 2015 at 9:05 PM

    Don’t worry about this. I too am in a relationship with a man 16 years younger. His friends adore me. He didnt want them to know at first either. He referred to me as just a friend in the beginning. He is lucky to have no judgmental friends. Family will be another story. We been together for 17 months. I’m not pushing the family thing because we live in small town and my family won’t be so supportive either. It’s best to make a solid relationship in these cases before involving others. I know u want to flaunt and show ur happiness. But honestly making it a solid relationship will make it much easier once everyone knows. He isn’t ashamed. My guy has high anxiety also. Let him tell them when he is ready. :)

  • Ace

    February 25th, 2015 at 12:57 PM

    Um, well I’ve dated guys who are older than me, and some that are younger than me, preferably, I like them older because they’re not so immature, six years is not a bad thing, sure, it causes heads to turn when a thirteen year old is dating a nineteen year old, but when you get older, it really doesn’t matter at all. :/ Who knows.

  • Julie

    February 25th, 2015 at 6:13 PM

    Hi I’m Julie and I like this guy who I work with but I’m am 19 soon to be 20 and the guy I like is 34. There is a 14-15 year age difference but I really really like him and I’m anxious about how my family will react but my parents were 10 years older then each other and they have been married for 29 years and I have 8 siblings and most are older then me but I’m scared of what they will think. But in my gut I know this could work out but on the surface I get so nervous and start panicking about everything. I have never been in a serious relationship with anyone before so I need some serious advice. Please HELP!!! Thank you!!

  • Sophie

    February 28th, 2015 at 7:35 AM

    Hey, I am 18 soon to be 19 myself and I am dating my boyfriend who is 36 l, we have been together for 7 months now, so don’t worry yourself about it, see what happens and follow your heart :) I have to say the difference of this relationship to guys I have tried dating my own age is conpletely different. The maturity and love is better and I truly feel happy. My family werent accepting at first but now they really like him and they can see I am happy. Even if they still did not accept us they wouldn’t have a say as I am an consenting adult. Good luck!

  • francesca

    February 26th, 2015 at 4:01 PM

    Just met a man who is 84 and I am 58. He is a breath of fresh air, spritly like a 60 year old. Happy and contented. For me this is just fantastic. He is everything a woman of my age could do with. Caring. Thoughtful. Sense of humour. Been there doine it got the t.shirt. And no I see no problem in it as he is a mine of information, had a life , and can talk on an subject… Think I am very lucky… I’ve tried my own age many a time but always seems something lacking…. Respect, trust and deep meaningfull friendship is what I see in this gentleman… I am Soooooo happy.

  • CMruler

    March 9th, 2015 at 12:27 PM

    Francesca… I am thrilled 2 come upon UR msg as it renews my own dilemma…which is unhappily married (only since kids left)…no intimatecy…BUT involved w/ a single 40 yr old (Im 60) man of color…. We will B approaching our 5 yr together much of what has kept me VERY alive….so yes this COUGAR is quite content 4 the moment. I luv my life!!!!

  • Beth

    March 2nd, 2015 at 10:36 PM

    Hey.. I’m Beth. I’m 16 years old, and I really really like a guy that’s 26. He’s amazing. He is always flirting with me and messaging me on Facebook.. within this past couple years of knowing each other we’ve grown really close and talk all of the time. We tell each other everything. What should I do? Should I continue talking to him, or try to slow things down? Help !

  • Joanna

    March 9th, 2015 at 5:20 AM

    Hey Beth :) I was in the same boat as you when I was 16, he was 28 and an amazing guy. When you’re older, age gaps don’t matter as much. 16 and 26 really aren’t that far apart when you consider 20 and 30, even less at 40 and 50. Slow it down a little so your parents don’t freak out, and you’ll have much more in common when you can both enjoy doing things together as adults.

  • Brad

    March 7th, 2015 at 4:23 PM

    i was dating a girl 18 years younger than me.im 42 she is 24.we get on like a house on fire.a really strong connection. Trouble wad that her really old fashioned parents never accepted this.in the 6 months we dated.i was not welcome in their house.we have since broken up but still speak every day and see each other often.we really do love each other but she decided that living 2 lives was not for her.yet when we are together its all good.but as soon as she is around them her mind is changed and she doubts again.how do i get the parents to understand what we have.a really strong relationship.do i keep trying to fix this by hanging on.or do i just walk away.i feel she is worth it.but fear the parents influence is too strong. ..

  • Renee

    March 8th, 2015 at 11:29 AM

    Hello Brad,
    Yes she could be influenced by her parents, whatever they are saying about you and her, she will change her mind because they are possibly saying anything and everything to brainwash her and make her think differently. Love has no age at all, if she’s not willing to be with yoU, just don’t waste your time. It’s going to suck feeling like she’s ashamed to be with you just because her parents are telling her otherwise. You should probably move on, because if she really wants to be with you she will commit regardless. You should stop talking to her and move on, maybe she’ll come around but a again don’t waste your time if she’s just changing her feelings for the sake of her parents. They either need to accept it or not but again if she really wants to be with you, she will commit but thereally is Cleary none. Please move on and just let her go. You deserve better, she is an adult and doesn’t need to have her parents approval. If she’s happy, she’s happy. But it’s just a waste if its a flip flop situation.

  • B

    March 10th, 2015 at 7:29 PM

    I am a 34 year old woman in a relationship with a man who is literally twice my age. No, literally…he’s 68. I have never been this in love and never felt more of a connection with anyone. I am elated to read these posts and find out we are not alone. I’m trying to figure out how to tell my parents that I’m in love with a man twice my age. Any suggestions?

  • sarahB

    March 19th, 2015 at 3:59 PM

    Hi B. My man and I sound just like you two! I am 34 and he will be 68 in May, we will celebrate our 9th year together in July. The best advice I can give is just tell your family!! They most likely will have some not so kind words at first, but if he’s a good guy it will pass. Your friends might be a little shocked, and his friends will think he’s a God. If you love him and he loves you, to Hell with what anybody else thinks.

  • jennifer

    March 11th, 2015 at 9:44 AM

    i’m turing 26 this year and i recently broke up with my 42 year old boyfriend – (16 yr age difference) however, i didn’t share with him how i was feeling about the age gap because initially i didnt think i cared – apparently i did. which is why we broke up. i’m an af-am female and he’s a caucasian male.

    he’s supportive, we have the same political agreements, social agreements, etc. it’s a lot of stigma because us ladies and fellas in these relationships are in marginalized relationships – and the social stigma attached to it can be hurtful. i agree with many people here, if that person makes you happy, that’s what matters..and that’s what im making sure i’m figuring out right now if it’s true.

  • Nicole

    March 11th, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    Hi there I am 22 and my boyfriend is 45 . . . A 23yr age gap. We have been together for about 10 months I am moving in with him and I am so excited. We are on the same page about how we feel about one another, we are madly in love. I have never been happier, however I have been struggling a bit with his age only when my parents constantly tell me the reasons why they believe it won’t work. He has never been married and doesn’t have any kids, we talk about our future a lot and I know he would like to have kids, I would love to have kids with him as well except I feel like before I bring a child into the world I must be able to provide for him by obtaining my goal of getting a nursing degree. He has brought up having kids a few times and I tell him in 4 years after I get my degree,well in 4 years he will be 49 and I’ll be 26, I worry that having kids won’t work out because in a sense he is on a ticking clock I’m scared that it won’t work out I truly love this man but getting my degree is important to me and he knows that he tells me he would be okay if we didn’t have kids but I know deep down inside he does,what do I do? Do I let him go so he can be with someone who can give him what he wants? I would love to raise a family with him buy I don’t know if it’s ideal, please I’m open to advice

  • Katie M.

    March 13th, 2015 at 3:42 PM

    Just out of curiosity Nicole.. Does he have a lot of family around that is a support system?

  • Nicole

    March 18th, 2015 at 5:23 PM

    Hi katie, yes he has significant support from his family and friends

  • Rae

    April 9th, 2015 at 8:45 PM

    I am 22 dating someone who is 42! I hate that I’m in love with him, but I can’t help my feelings =( haven’t even told a lot of people yet- my parents don’t know yet and I’m terrified to tell them! But him and I get along perfect- we never fight! We’ve been together for 6 months now and also talk about moving in. I want to continue growing my business and wait until it really takes off before I even think about kids (probably 3 years), but he has also brought up the idea of children. It’s like we’re living the same life… (; good luck I hope things work out for you!

  • B

    March 12th, 2015 at 10:03 AM

    Nicole,
    49 isn’t that old. It’s still plenty young enough for him to produce children. Men aren’t like women. We are born with a limited supply of eggs, but sperm can go for ever (almost). I’m reminded of the quote from When Harry Met Sally. “Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73.”
    The actual ability to produce is not an issue. The consideration you need to make is this: If you have a child when he’s 50, that child will be without a father when he is 40 or 45. If you love him enough to realize that you will be a widow by 60, and your child/children will be without a father by then, then stay with him. Love him, and bear his children.
    One of the realizations I am facing is that I will, in all likelihood, be a caregiver for my parents at the same time I’m giving care to the man I love. BUT I love him enough to see that coming and still want to spend every day with him, even through the difficult times.

  • Maria

    March 12th, 2015 at 7:20 PM

    I’m just shy of 54 and am very intrigued by this 39 y/o man at the gym where I work. We talk and somewhat flirt , I just think he’s a doll, and love the way he treats people and carrys himself . Am I to old for him, should I give it up ? I’m ready to give up on love .

  • Mickical

    March 15th, 2015 at 3:15 PM

    Hey there…. I met a guy at work and I thought he was about 38…and he thought I was 35…. He pursued me for s few months being flirty starting up conversations etc… He’s such a darn cutie pie that I began flirting back.,, one day during our conversation about my kids he stopped and said in a very curiously concerned voice” how old are you?”…well then it all came out…. I think it took me longer for it to settle in but he just turned 30 and I’m 48..,.. But we decided to continue engaging each other and now we go out together and I absolutely enjoy being with him. I personally could care less what others think..,, I’ve always attracted younger men… Though he is the youngest….and I’m just going to enjoy him while I can!! Just go for it..,, you only live once!!

  • Jake

    March 20th, 2015 at 6:06 AM

    I have am in an extremely unique situation, none like anyone here I am guessing (didn’t read them all).

    I have begun dating a 33 year old Japanese woman in Japan, and I am a 21 year old male. No she isn’t a cougar, she isn’t foreign hungry or anything like that.. We just met, and things very gradually changed, and I asked her to be my girlfriend quite recently, she was concerned about age but said yes.

    The thing is, we are from different counties, so the generation difference does not apply. I speak some Japanese and she speaks some English (better than most here), so communication is doable.

    I have to admit I am worried about many things.. It is kind of two fantasies in one for a guy my age to be dating a woman like this but I am a worrier and a serious person looking for a long time serious relationship, which is why she likes me. I worry about the future, her age, her parents’ opinion on the matter when they find out. It is a relationship with many odds stacked against it no doubt.

    I can honestly say it does feel great to be with her, and the age gap is not a problem for us. So all we can do is do our best huh? Many things to worry about.

  • Kate

    March 21st, 2015 at 11:54 AM

    I’m 30 yo and Im in love with a guy who is 47.
    Although we work in different offices and meet only twice a year in plenary sessions, he has been a great colleague and friend.
    So when he was hitting on me while we were out drinking with the others after work, I almost didn’t believe him, but I ended up in his room and had an amazing night.

    in the postcoital talk, he jokingly asked me where does this relationship go but I told him that it should be just one night thing, thinking he couldn’t be serious because of the distance, age difference and earlier he mentioned that he wasn’t sure if he wants to be together with someone again after his divorce.

    after returning, we talked about the night for few times but now 1month has passed and we only email about work with a little bit of friendliness.
    I tried dating someone else but it never works out. it only makes me think of him and miss him.
    I did some research and found out that in their 40s guys have less libidos so wouldn’t really look for random sex (is that true?) so it made me a little hope that he might have looked for something more that sex…

    is it too late to turn this relationship more serious? please give me some advise!

  • Jess

    March 23rd, 2015 at 8:22 PM

    I recently began dating a co-worker after a drunken hookup who is 17 years older than me (I’m 26). He’s been single for 17 years and has said multiple times that he’s happily single and set in his ways, but open to something naturally coming his way. We’ve gone on 4 dates… he says he enjoys spending time with me, but has no drive for intimacy. We hug when separating and he isn’t sure if he even wants a relationship. Any advice for success with this guy? I really like him.

  • Jess

    March 23rd, 2015 at 8:24 PM

    Also, he is really hung up on our age difference. We don’t have trouble talking or being together, but he’s concerned about the number itself.

  • Anonymous

    March 23rd, 2015 at 8:54 PM

    I don’t think age difference matters if you are in love.

  • Kristen

    March 24th, 2015 at 11:12 AM

    I am a 22 year old woman who is dating a 37 year old tattoo artist. I love him very very much and we fit together perfectly. He has never been married and doesn’t have kids and I’ve never wanted kids. I am a massage therapist and I’m currently in nursing school and he in his tattooing career. He can finish each other’s sentences and nobody knows me better than him. I truly believe age differences can work. You just have to commit and has a complete mutual respect for one another.

  • Joe

    March 25th, 2015 at 9:59 AM

    I am 47 years old, never married, and don’t have kids. I met a 19 year female at my job and am tempted to ask her for a date, but concerned about the age difference. Any advice out there?

  • Kristen

    March 25th, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    How does she react to you at work? Is she flirty, short in conversation, stays around and talks? Just things like that. I’m 22 and I’m happily dating a 37 year old. We are 15 and a half years apart. But, at 22 I’m on comfortable with up to a 15 year age difference. Just due to future things. You gotta think if things get serious how old you’ll be vs how old she will be. Just long term thing to think about. But! It would never hurt to just go on a date to fill each other out.

  • Wayne

    May 6th, 2015 at 3:28 PM

    You could take it easy by saying “what would you say if I asked you out?” Check your instincts before asking. Is she really interested or just being fun? Good Luck

  • Sam

    March 26th, 2015 at 8:31 AM

    Hi, very interesting discussion and topic… Here is my contribution to the thread…

    I am 10 years younger than my wife (37 & 47)
    We have been married 7 years and have recently hit the skids…

    She has always had an issue with the age gap (although she doesn’t look or act her age) telling random people within minutes of meeting about our age difference. More recently she has been stressing the fact she is approaching menopause… And actually suggested I leave her (which I didn’t take seriously)

    It didn’t used to bother me, I was always the commited one (insisting on commitment when she challenged the relationship) but recently I have expressed my doubts about continuing…

    We are in marriage counselling and trying to work it out but a lot has come to the surface… Resentment from both sites, anger and hurt…

    It’s always been an imbalanced relationship (she was established and I’d just come back from traveling), I have been trying to get my career together the whole time we’ve been together (the lack of stability has been hard on her) and she has had quite a few health problems over the last 4 years, where I have looked after and cared for her a lot.

    Because of her health issues she hasn’t looked after her own health and fitness over the years, which has now become an issue between us.

    We do have a genuine connection but I feel worn out by her demanding and neurotic behaviour (she has a complicated past).

    My feelings of passion and intimacy towards her have left me… I’m feeling tempted by other, younger women…

    She swings from being overly loving towards me into anger and resentment… Pushing me away… But for some reason I won’t make a decision to stay or go…

    There are a lot of family and friends involved in our life (part of how she controls things) and I feel pressured to suppress my own feelings and be the ‘good husband’

    I’m not certain I want to leave her but I’m not happy with the way things have developed…

    We don’t have kids or shared assets, so I can walk away in much the same situation as I joined the relationship…

    But she will be devastated as she’s very dependent upon me…

    Lots of issues there, only some about the age gap… Any advice is gratefully received! No need to pull the punches… Be aware that I’ve given my side of the story and she certainly has hers…

  • Joe

    March 26th, 2015 at 3:24 PM

    Kristen: That is some damn good advice. Aside from the age difference, its always been difficult for me to know or act on the reactions or signals of females. That difficulty has been the cause for me being single for so many years. )

  • Bik

    March 28th, 2015 at 12:37 PM

    Hello all, i am 19 and my bf is 52. i am Asian and he is western.
    we’ve been dating for 7 months. and this relationship is just wonderful and i love him so much because he is so caring and just a prefect man… i never agree with age matters to love.
    one problem is my government doesn’t let us to marry, so i am so so sad.. and people don’t understand us but we don’t care what people say….

  • nell

    April 14th, 2015 at 10:16 AM

    You go girl you have a more then me but I deal with same issues I love my bf more then anyone I have loved he is my soul mate I wish that people stop judging someone else happiness and I always feel that people don’t like it because they are jealous so u keep loving your bf I’m 32 and my bf is 54 and I love him so much he has made me the women that always dreamed of ask kid with the fariytail happy ending don’t let anyone stop your love always remember that it always just you guys and no one else hope that helps you

  • suzanne

    May 31st, 2015 at 7:08 PM

    Hi my husband and I are 27 years apart we have been together 7 years I’m 33 he’s 59 turning 60 in November. I have never been happier he is an amazing father figure too my 4 kids and an amazing husband :) so age has no boundaries that is for sure:)

  • Angela

    April 16th, 2015 at 7:23 PM

    I was 25 and my hubby in his 60 wen we first start dating. And now we are almost 9 yrs in marriage life with 6 yrs old lil girl. Problem is always ther not B’coz of age gap. Wish u luck and keep the love grow more.

  • lexace

    May 1st, 2015 at 7:08 PM

    Oh my gosh, I was lookinf all up and down this thing to find someone with a similar age gap. Okay I’m not dating this guy, we jave just been talking and i really like him. He is 53 while i am 19. I kmow no one I know will approve but I’m really hoping he likes me as much as i like him. And your post made me feel better about his and my age gap.

  • Casa

    May 21st, 2015 at 6:31 AM

    hey there.

    I’ve been with my partner for nearly 4 years now. I’m 23 and he’s 64.
    I have found that most propel have been ok with it. We live together and I love him (and him me) my family don’t Approve (wouldn’t invite him to their place!! Haha) but they have been supportive of me making my own decisions.
    I have had an amazing few years with an incredible man. We are talking now about moving on, not because we don’t love each other but because we are both moving in different directions (I’m moving overseas).
    Our relationship problems haven’t been to do with the age difference. Trust your gut and make good decisions for you, not other people.

    Xx

  • Halle

    March 28th, 2015 at 6:37 PM

    Well I’m 14 and my bf is 18. My parents don’t be in that kind of dating. He lives a few states away but we talk every single day. He loves me just as much as I love him. We have been dating for like almost 4 months now. Both of us have had a rough past and I believe that we were made for each other.. So if yall have any advice in long distance and keeping our relationship healthy, please reply☺️

  • Tatum

    March 30th, 2015 at 6:39 AM

    I am a 22 year old female and my boyfriend is 37. We have a 2 yr old child together and have been together 3 years. I never thought the age gap was a big thing for me but lately it feels as though it is. I feel like he’s lived his life and done many things he wouldn’t want to do again, with me. I’m worried that I’m starting to feel stuck and aren’t getting enough out of the relationship. I love him dearly but just don’t want to waste any more time if this is it. I don’t want to settle. Any advice appreciated

  • Rachael

    April 15th, 2015 at 6:33 AM

    Okay so I’ve recently started dating a guy who is 15 years older than me to, except I’m 18 in 2 months and he is 33 in August.. by recently I mean it will be 2 weeks tomorrow..

    I would just like to thank you for sharing, Because before I read what you wrote I was seriously doubting my feelings and my relationship with him so thank you again! :)

  • Lirica

    May 9th, 2015 at 10:23 PM

    I know what you mean . I just turned 21 he just turned 22. We got serious quickly. I’m with him 24/7 and it’s only been 4 months and has been a roller coaster ride because of others people opinions but him and I feel perfect for each other .. He does have a son and I feel as if he might not want another kid so I sort of know how you feel . I want to live and not settle and get the best out of a relationship

  • Bella

    April 8th, 2015 at 6:27 AM

    Hey guys I’m 14 and is currently talking to a guy that is 26 yrs old, we have been talking for a month now and we said to each other that we would like to date, he lives in England and I live in Australia, we always talk to each other about meeting up and how much we would like to fly out to each other, but it’s really hard because I think I’m falling in love with him and he’s said that he would do anything in the world to meet up. Btw guys he sounds really creepy but we have skyped and stuff, I’ve met his friends over Skype too, he is what he says he is. But does anyone have any advice for what I should do or look out for?

  • Rachel

    April 8th, 2015 at 2:51 PM

    Hi Bella, I’m all for age gap relationship as long as you’re happy, however you being 14 and he being 26 does have some problems. It’s against the law in Australia to have sexual relations until your 16 or 17 depends on what state you’re from. He could be a nice guy but the fact that you mention that his creepy does ring alarm bells to me. My advise is trust your guts feelings. What does your friends or family think? Also his on the other side of the world how are you going to make it work? His 26 and probably has his whole life in England, would you be prepared to leave your life in Australia for this guy? Good luck :)

  • ellie

    April 9th, 2015 at 12:39 PM

    I’m 15 next month and the boy who I am talking to is 18 years of age! 19 next January, and age gap of 3 years and 4 month! is this something to be worried about I really don’t know whether to tell my mum or not I’m just scared she will stop me from seeing him? someone pls help

  • Perfect Man

    April 12th, 2015 at 5:09 AM

    big age difference is a real problem that teens come across, but being mature you have to understand that teens are crazy about it sometimes. But if you have a 25-30 wife it is reallly fantastic! Then have fun! here are some points by the way blog.shagaholic.com

  • Iod

    April 13th, 2015 at 10:25 PM

    My age difference is a little closer. I’m turning 19 soon and he just turned 23. We are obviously kinda close in age compared to some but still at different points in our life.. What should I look for? I don’t want to be annoying to him but I want it to work

  • al

    April 16th, 2015 at 5:01 PM

    Hi I’m al. I’m 17 nearly 18 and I am falling head over heels for an older man. He is smart, funny and amazing. The age gap is pretty large. We met online. I don’t want to reveal too much on here as its public but I’m looking to talk to someone around my age going through something similar. I don’t really have anyone to talk to this with.

    I’ve kept everything in this post very discrete.
    If you want to talk. No fakes or catfishes please as I will know.

    Bye x

  • Alyssa

    April 20th, 2015 at 4:15 PM

    Im 18 seeing a man who is in his early 40’s, looks young for his age and very goodlooking and sweet, id lovs to relate to someone!:(

  • Hattie

    April 21st, 2015 at 4:53 PM

    Hello Alyssa im just turning 18 and I’m in a relationship with a 37 year old I know exactly how you feel it’s not easy to gain support from family and friends when they don’t understand.

  • Hattie

    April 21st, 2015 at 4:51 PM

    Hey :) I’m 17 (18 in June) and I know how hard and difficult it is to deal with people and family members who don’t support a kind of relationship like that. I’d love to talk and share stories with you and be supportive of you and your relationship :) I always have felt like I’m alone and no one understands the relationship I’m in but after researching more and becoming more aware of others and their stairies it really motivates me and reassured me that age gap relationships aren’t something people should condemn at all.

  • Bella

    May 28th, 2015 at 11:45 PM

    Hi! I’m 17 and turning 18 this coming November. My boyfriend is 31 and turning 32. His age is near to my parents age. My mom is 39 and my dad is 36. It is really hard for them to accept the fact that I am in love with a grown man. I am so afraid that there’s reconciliation in the near future. I am saying this because I want my boyfriend to be my lawfully legal husband. Now, we are pretending (me and my boyfriend) that he’s just courting me while he’s in Singapore. He’s going to wait until I reach 21/22. But still there is no assurance of acceptance from my parents.

  • Sarah

    May 18th, 2015 at 3:45 PM

    Hi Al I wonder what is going
    With you and this situation now because am your age and want to someone to relate to and discuss things with.

  • Sunny

    April 18th, 2015 at 7:07 AM

    Well. I’m 16 turning 17 and he’s 22 turning 23. A 6 year age gap bro. It’s not too bad but I’ve always been drawn to older guys. I just feel so much more comfortable and at home with them. I feel like I can be myself with a lack of judgement following it~~~~~~~ then there’s the air of mystery. It is very euphoric (am I crazy?) maybe. Only time will tell…

  • William F

    April 19th, 2015 at 8:21 PM

    It’s very awkward and at times bewildering but I’m 47 she is 25. Broke so money not in picture. The generational differences are vast, comical at times. She swears she’s happy with physical part. We do love playing guitars. I think that bridges the gap.

  • Don P

    April 23rd, 2015 at 9:09 PM

    I’m 31 and got a 19yr old gf.her mom is 55 n her dad is 72.we get along great.im sure she likes my maturity n I like that she’s wise beyond her years

  • Andvs21

    April 29th, 2015 at 9:39 AM

    I’m 21 years old and for two years I have been involved with a 48 year old man I personally see no problem with our age difference because I sincerely love him. However a few days ago he visited to supposedly make us work but even since my modeling show he has been saying he’s weirded out because I look small and all the other petites were 14-17 and I blend in somehow. So he felt like a creep (lol)and has been acting weird since I grew to love this man and had hopes for us and find this disappointing. Note: we have met multiple times before…

  • dacota n

    May 1st, 2015 at 9:13 AM

    i am a 17 yearold sophmore in high school i am with a 14 year old young lady and she is wonderfull she and i get along vary well and the problem i am having is her parents dont know about us what should i do

  • Beth

    June 7th, 2015 at 9:27 PM

    Hey I just read ur message I’m kinda going through the the same thing spat the moment but I am girl if you really love her than meet her parents

  • Suzie Q

    May 4th, 2015 at 11:07 AM

    My husband of 25 years left me. He was only about 10 months older. Then I met the man I’m with now. I always thought those relationships where the man or woman were much older were wrong. But really, I am 49 years-old. I am confident in myself in a way that I wasn’t before. My boyfriend, while 18 years-older, is not in a position of authority over me. (That would make it creepy.) He has no family and so there’s no disapproval from his end. I don’t have to worry about what his kids or his parents think and worry that they won’t like me. My mom and brothers are okay with it, although my own almost grown children (girl-21 and boy- 17) are a little sad because they understand this means that their dad is gone for good. (Their dad left me. I am not going to wait around for him to maybe someday realize what he has lost.) My older boyfriend thinks I am smart, funny, sexy, kind, patient, a good cook, attractive, and he just plain old loves me. I think it can work. Because of the divorce, he is more financially sound, but I have a great job and it shouldn’t take me long to catch up. I have never in my life met a better lover or a more romantic man. If I had stuck to my old thinking, I never would have given him a chance. It’s true: I may one day be his nurse, but life offers no guarantees for any of us. I know he broke up once with a girl a long time ago because he worried that he was too much older. Thank goodness he doesn’t think that way about me! I feel lucky in love.

  • oliver

    May 5th, 2015 at 3:57 PM

    Im 37, she was 17. We were good but just weren’t right for each other.

  • Corey

    May 8th, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    I’m 22, my boyfriend of 2 years is turning 47 in a few months. I can’t help who I fell in love with. I also don’t regret it. Friends and family are super supportive except my dad(understandably) he’s 10 years younger than my dad I’m sure it’s upsetting. But all a parent wants is to see their children happy. I’m happy. And for anyone who is wondering… Cops don’t make alot of money, it’s not his job. It’s his heart and let’s be honest… He’s hot! Like gorgeous. People stare and snicker. All I have to say to them is “I’m sorry your life sucks so much you have to feel better about it by hating on mine” people will judge and stare and sometimes even interrupt ur nice date just to voice the ire uneducated opinions. Focus on each other not everyone else. It’s not easy, but anything worth having never is. Another thing for you ladies… Treat him once in a while. I work hard and make my own money. I like to spend it on him almost as much as he likes to spend his on me. I didn’t wanna go back to school and he pushed me. He taught me about love and sex and the deep connection they have within each other. And he tells me I bring out a side of him he’s never seen before. Don’t worry about the age or what people say, worry about what they bring out in you. It should be the best. One thing about older men, they don’t play games, they’re protective(maybe because he is a father, a great and loving one at that) and they don’t make you feel like a piece of meat. We’re not perfect, we have our ups and downs like any couple but we always always work thru it. Age ain’t nothin but a number anyways. Hope this helps you guys out. You can’t help who you fall in love with, remember that.

  • Brian

    May 30th, 2015 at 6:15 AM

    I am 47 this year and the most beautiful woman I have ever met is 22.
    I am young in both looks and behaviour, even though I have a high IQ, Fey is quite mature and has considerable understanding for her age.
    We get along well and the eye contact and communication we share has become noticable to others we know too.
    I havent told her how I feel yet, although I am sure she is aware.
    I must admit I have a little fear, though it doesnt concern the age difference, its being a little shy and the fear of rejection. :)

  • Cory

    June 13th, 2015 at 2:19 PM

    If you feel this strongly… Take the risk. With my boyfriend and I… We were friends for over a year a before we became romantically involved. I think it’s harder for the older gentleman. It’s like walking on eggshells. You want to let her know how you feel… But you don’t want to appear like a “creep” aka older “perv” in younger people terms. My bf was always a gentlemen and never made the rude comments or straightforward “let’s bang” questions most guys my age do. He was very hesitant at first because of the age difference. But… As I said before you can’t help who you fall for. Yes, appearances matter because a 22 yo will be attracted to an older gentleman who has taken care of himself and accepts his age, but doesn’t act like an “old man” but it requires much more than that. Like intelligence and personalities that just click. He and I are total opposites in every way but in some aspects we are very very very similar, it allows us to learn and try new things but we never run out of things to talk about. If it’s purely physical attraction… I recommend holding off till you find a deeper connection. If it’s much more than that… All is fair in love and war, my friend. Take the risk! I’m glad my guy did and I’m glad I let him. He makes me laugh and smile every day :) hope this helps!

  • elena

    May 8th, 2015 at 9:10 PM

    Im 17 and my boyfriend of three months is 29, the only thing in our way is that we live so far a part. We met in an unconventional way and he’s got a lot more life experience than me but we just get each other, and I know when the time is right we’ll be perfect. i don’t think age matters as long as you’re on the same page, have chemistry and most importantly, love who you’re with.

  • Al

    May 9th, 2015 at 12:42 PM

    I’m 35. My soon to be ex wife is 44.We’ve been married for 10 years. I actually wouldn’t have cared if it weren’t for the fact that she lied about it for the first few years we were together.She looked young when we met, but now, not so much I didn’t leave her when I found out. It’s just that she’s really imature and emotionally unstable. So I geuss my point us that one shouldn’t be lying about one’s age. If you fall in love, these things shouldn’t matter. Just be honest!!!!!

  • Gain

    May 10th, 2015 at 10:31 PM

    It’s crazy knowing that there are so many other people out in the world like myself… I am underage, and only fine men of the ages 18+ and nobody really understands why, and nobody can every comprehend why I always shoot for guys in college! It’s nice to see how supportive so many other people are though. :)

  • Karol

    May 11th, 2015 at 4:17 PM

    I would like some feed back from someone who has went through an age gap. I am 52 years old, single, my kids are grown and living their own lives now. The gentleman that is very attracted to me is 40 years old. He has an 12 year old son that lives with his ex. He seems to be very well established with his finances and very grown up. He worships the ground I walk on.
    My issue is the 12 years age difference is bothering me some. When I ask other women or men for advice I get either 1- if you love someone age shouldn’t matter. 2- You go girl you cougar!! When I ask him if he has had other “cougar” relationships he says “no” I like how you are honest, sincere, and have your head on your shoulders. Also that I can carry on a intelligent conversation with him.
    Please I want to get any feed back I can from those that have experienced this type of relationship. I don’t want to get hurt or hurt him by any means. Please help!!

  • Rudi

    May 17th, 2015 at 8:43 AM

    Hi Carol.
    The age gap between me and my wife is 25 years.
    Yes it is challenging but if the two of you are serious and Love each other then you work at it every day.
    You will age and so will he so if you too are important to each other you can make it work. Marriage is all about making sacrifice its about you Two.
    Enjoy the ride
    Rudi

  • Me

    May 12th, 2015 at 8:09 PM

    Hi. I’m 35 years old. I have a 16 year old daughter. I recently became friends with a 22 year old. We started spending quite a lot of time together. We became very close friends fast. I realized that we had so much in common, and that I was developing very strong romantic feelings for her. Of course I thought of the fact that she is closer to my daughter’s age than mine. I admit that it’s not ideal. I also thought of her family, and how they would feel. I knew that they would not approve. Either way. I could not fight these feelings that I had. It has been such a long time since I have felt such a strong connection with anyone. The bottom line is. I finally came clean and told her of my feelings. She told me that she was attracted to me as well but alas, her family would not approve. I don’t even know why I’m writing on here. Just venting I guess. I know that if it was my daughter, of course I would be concerned and wary of this older guy. But personally I have come to the conclusion that our society has the wrong idea about age in dating. You finally find a person that makes you feel all the right feelings, but because they aren’t within a couple years of your age, it’s not ok.

  • makayla

    May 13th, 2015 at 7:22 PM

    Hello. I stumbled upon this post after researching age difference s in couples. I am 19 and have always been attracted to older guys. I have currently been talking to a 48yr old with 2 kids and one on the way. The wife and him are far from happy together and is aware of our relationship. I just feel like he will never leave her BC of what society thinks. Plus he grew up with my parents. A little lost here any help

  • quyen

    May 18th, 2015 at 6:06 AM

    I am 35 and my gf is 17. she is my good friends niece who i met when i was in btwn homes. I resisted temptation to be with her niece for 2 weeks and by the 3rd week we could not keep off of each other. My friend did not approve of our relationship and asked us to not be close in her home so i packed up and found an apartment so that we could spend more time alone. When my friend found out where she has been sleeping at she went ballistic and said i was a child molester. In Texas the age of consent is 17. She also threatened to come to my work and embarrass me in front of my coworkers. This really stresses me out as i am the gm of my business. My girlfriend has been raped repeatedly since she was 11 by my friends sisters husband so my friend moved to Houston to pull her from the situation but a few months after her arrival to her relocation my friends husband (a different man) began to molest her too. I felt like i needed to pull her from my friends home so now she is living with me. I’m incredibly afraid of the outcome of what my friend’s family and coworkers will think. I love her and hope dearly and hope that this will normalize. Please reply if you have suggestions on how to handle this. My friend is in denial about her husbands relationship with her niece.

  • Matthew

    May 20th, 2015 at 5:51 AM

    Hi. I’m 16 and my boyfriend is 23. I really care about him a lot, but I’m afraid to tell anyone because I don’t want anyone to judge him and I don’t want to get him in trouble. I may seem young and naïve to some, but I really do care about him a lot. He is the nicest, sweetest, most caring guy I’ve ever been with. It was hard enough come out to my parents, but now it feels almost like I have to do it again. Should I be honest about our relationship or should I wait?

  • Neil

    June 12th, 2015 at 12:41 PM

    I’m 19 and my 15 year old boyfriend just recently broke up with me and everything seemed to be going amazing.. Your post gave me that new perspective on this situation, coming out was hard for him as a good portion of his family is homophobic, perhaps it was just the idea of stepping forward with that, I don’t know l, probably never will, I just hope he tries to maintain a friendship lime he said he would.. I’d miss him a lot of he wasn’t in my life :(

  • Liz

    May 26th, 2015 at 6:35 PM

    Hello. I’m turning 18 in about a week and I’ve been talking/getting close to a man who is 29 turning 30. Can someone please give me their opinion on this? I have a daughter who is turning 2 in September and the father will never be in the picture. I’m starting to get more more feelings for this guy and we both make each other happy. I just need to know if it’s a good idea?

  • Liz

    May 26th, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    I’ve never felt this way with anyone before. He makes me the person I want to be in life. We have SO much in common. He is everything I’ve ever wanted.

  • samarysa

    May 27th, 2015 at 5:42 AM

    Im 42 and gf 18 ,i know some hate us to date but i look very young for my age and we relate with so much,now daughter and her are best freinds,yes there same age. Ex always bugs us and her minions. . I truly think we well work. ,any advice?

  • andreabold

    June 4th, 2015 at 9:48 PM

    Im 21 yo girls , having a relationship with 48 yo he have one son (he is 18yo now) from his ex wife and now he hv been divorced for 3 years
    People surround me always said this kind of relationship isnt really “okay” bcs the gap btween us way too much far and etc , by the time goes we’ve been living together for 7 month already, love grow stronger, we stay really good ..
    But now i feel like , i lose myself , i’ve change too much to fit with him , to b more suitable with him , let say i changed the way im thinking , i changed my system , i learn to cook , i clean up thr house , do the unsual things for a teenagers. Is this normal?

  • kelsey

    June 7th, 2015 at 5:16 PM

    Im 22 and he is 58 we have been together for a short time since December 2014 but what we have is real and no one can tell us anything different. We met at work summer 2014 & became good friends with similar interests in travel rebuilding cars nascar dogs nature hiking food dancing and so much more. We hung out as friends first then it grew from there before our eyes. Its love on a soul level- most people don’t understand that but that’s perfectly ok. We get it and that’s all that matters♡

    hes so young at heart and I’m old at heart so we balance each other :) i would never trade him and our adventures for anything. im not worried about the gap because knowing our time is even more limited we take each moment and make make best of it. If we fight we talk through it real quick and move on. We love each other too much to waste time on petty things. Funny as it seems he was just getting out of a bad marriage and i was just getting out of a terrible relationship with a younger guy my own age both of us went on about how we dont care if we ever get into another relationship with anyone again. And here we are off to dinner months later.

    Its my life and I live it by what makes me feel good and happy and he definitely enhances my life.

  • andreabold

    June 10th, 2015 at 8:48 AM

    Hi Kelsey , im really inspired by your story.
    Best regards

  • Amelia

    June 21st, 2015 at 10:52 AM

    I am in kinda the same situation. He is 60 and I am 25. I love him so much and we enjoy each other’s company. We are from different cultural background, but we get on along well. We do have disagreement most of the time, but I always try to apologize and make it up, coz I want to make him happy and I want to make it work. He is quite an independent person due to his experience( travel a lot). I didn’t think that much on this and I was a bit relying on him. After we had some disagreement on this , I started to change. I started to give him more freedom and it is working now! As I am studying abroad at the moment, we are in a disitance relationship, but we talk to each other everyday and we try to meet up every month. I always told him that ‘ meeting him is the best thing I can have in my life . ‘ I’ll be finishing my study soon in 2 months. We’ll be together again soon. Hope everyone here in an age disparity relationship can have a happy ending.

  • B Harvey

    June 21st, 2015 at 7:09 PM

    I would only caution that you should be careful not to lose yourself. It is great to learn to compromise, but if find that you are the only one making the compromise in order to keep the peace, then this person doesn’t have enough respect for you, or isn’t really into having a friend and lover, he’s into having a pet and an ego boost.
    I am in a relationship where I am having to learn to stand up for myself a little. It’s difficult, because I don’t want to lose him, but if he truly loves me, I won’t always be the one making the sacrifice.

    I hope things work out for you both.

  • Savvy

    July 11th, 2015 at 11:27 PM

    Kelsey,

    You’re story helped me so much. I wish you all the happiness :)

  • MrlissaB

    August 19th, 2015 at 1:20 AM

    All in all it all amounts to one thing.
    Or a few things really… Women are less shallow and superficial!.. We look past wrinkles and men who aren’t looking as hot to.the real Soul of the person..
    Men however are caught up with looks and perky boobs. Looking for a throphy on their arms. Its now 2015!!.. Anything goes. ANY relationship can fail…Gay straight.. Gender..Colour..Culture…it’d the Mindset in the people involved to make it work. I’m 50.. My partner is 33… Looks 40.. I look 37!!.. But we connect!! Determination and hard work makes a relationship last..not age. I’ve met many older guys who are too bogged down with kids and midlife crisis or busy playing the dutiful father to thier kids or ex wives to put in 100% to me. Yet dome young guys can feel old before their time and be boring farts. I can fancy young or old men….its the heart that counts!!!

  • Melissa

    July 14th, 2015 at 9:59 PM

    Kelsey,

    What you say about your relationship is so beautiful and inspiring that it brought tears to my eyes. I am 38 and my boyfriend is 22. Before I met him, I told myself anyone even in their early thirties was a red flag for me. But then my boyfriend came along and blew away all my rules and preconceptions about age. I am an extrovert full of aliveness with a young spirit and am often mistaken for being in my twenties. He is an introvert, cerebral, and a very mature soul. We have a strong connection, we’re very attentive to one another, we have excellent communication and are freely expressive, and we work through the tough spots so quickly. We don’t waste much time arguing. We focus on the things we have in common and are always planning our next adventures together. Neither one of us are fixated on rushing to a destination, like getting married. I love this man so much and I will cherish every moment we are blessed with. No matter how long we’re together, I would never want to have had a life not finding him or knowing him.

  • nolleymj

    June 11th, 2015 at 11:50 PM

    My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together for 15 years. It is a second marriage for both of us, so we were both apprehensive of marriage. He is 27 years my senior, but we are one of the most stable, and happiest marriages of all the couples we know. Yes, every now and then we see a difference, but when the younger is an old soul and the older is very young at heart and you share a similar level of education, things just work out to be what they will be. He is the love of my life and I could never ask for a better husband.

  • Ainat

    June 14th, 2015 at 1:33 AM

    Wow this is an interesting thread. I’m laying here in bed not being able to sleep. I am 23, and I’ve had a boyfriend for a few years..only a year older than i am. We connect in certain things..but i think about the future and i just don’t like what i see.. I just started a new job a week ago, and I met this guy there who is 39 i have an unbelievable amount of things in common including the country and city we’re from! (Foreigners). Everyone thinks he’s in his 20s (including me when i first saw him). I can’t believe how fast we clicked and how much I’m already liking him, i cant stop thinking about him. I am…so confused. I seriously need some advise, mosy of my friends are his friends as well..and i cant exactly talk to anyone about this. He broke up with his gf recently and I’m also afraid he’s just sensitive and lonely. What should i do..? This is not fair to my bf..but i feel like i haven’t been happy for most of our relationship..but i care for him and i know he is not nearly ready to let me go.. i don’t know what to do

  • Ainat

    June 14th, 2015 at 1:39 AM

    Wow this is an interesting thread. I’m laying here in bed not being able to sleep. I am 23, and I’ve had a boyfriend for a few years..only a year older than i am. We connect in certain things..but i think about the future and i just don’t like what i see.. I just started a new job a week ago, and I met this guy there who is 39 i have an unbelievable amount of things in common with him including the country and city we’re from! (Foreigners). Everyone thinks he’s in his 20s (including me when i first saw him). I can’t believe how fast we clicked and how much I’m already liking him, i cant stop thinking about him. I am…so confused. I seriously need some advise, most of my friends are my current boyfriend’s friends as well..and i cant exactly talk to anyone about this. The guy broke up with his gf recently and I’m also afraid he’s just sensitive and lonely. What should i do..? This is not fair to my bf..but i feel like i haven’t been happy for most of our relationship..but i care for him and i know he is not nearly ready to let me go.. i don’t know what to do

  • Ainat

    June 14th, 2015 at 1:55 AM

    Just wanted to add that nothing’s happened. I literally met him a week ago… But I already feel like I’m going crazy. I’m almost sure he likes me as well but i am afraid of being taken advantage of. Especially b/c as i said, he recently permanently ended an off-and-on relationship and i..suffer from social anxiety so..there are a lot of things that i haven’t lived because of it and I’m afraid that will be a quick problem.

  • Ainat

    July 4th, 2015 at 11:56 AM

    **UPDATE: it was all a big friggin mistake. I’m actually laughing at myself. And now I’m hurting really bad. In summary: I broke up with my boyfriend (not Because of this guy but it sure gave me a huge nudge to finally do it), I got involved with the guy, he was clear to begin with about just wanting company because he felt alone and honestly I felt sort of the same way after a few days of having posted this, but his ex showed up and I was thrown away. We tried getting along like friends and still had lunch, and at the end of last week he looked at me really coldly and said he’d be having his lunches alone from now on…. I know it has mostly nothing to do with me, he suffers from huge deppression and is just angry at life (like me) but I mean…cmon, he’s almost 40! How..completely immature. I can’t believe how reeled in I let myself get..I thought I was being logical and in control haha! That’s a huge laugh..I feel so friggin stupid

  • Missleo

    June 14th, 2015 at 11:51 PM

    Let me just start by saying I have been madly in love with my boyfriend of 4 years almost 5 years, we had some odd stacked up at the beginning; 1. Age gap 2. Race 3. careers, But that never stop us from falling in love with each other. We stand there strong, hand in hand, knocking down every wall. A little bit about us, he’s 36 years old and I’m 23 almost 24, he is the love of my life and the apple of my eye. He met me at 20 and let me tell you I was completely out of control lol. I was a total wild child, with no self control, I would always say things like “I wanna be single my whole life”, “I never want to be tied down”, “marriage is for saps”… But boy oh boy, did he change me. This amazing man showed me so many things about myself such as how to love myself, how to humble myself, and life is much more than drinking and eta, and not only that he supports me on everything I wanna do, he is my rock. I truly believe this man has saved my life, because if I didn’t have him showing me the right path, I don’t know where I would be, and to me, I truly believe God truly blessed me with angel. I thought I would never have this in my life… I guess you can say he is everything thing I wanted in a man and much more. When I think about him, I smile, and when I talk about how wonderful he is, I begin to cry. I’ve met my sweet baby and I’m so glad I call him my king, I can talk about him for hours, but this is limited space lol. Well what I want to tell my fellow young friends is that God has a plan for everyone, and if you truly feel that this person was made for you, then dang it, fight for it, and love them with everything you got and screw every hater out there because Hateful people can’t help themselves but throw stones because they’re unhappy. And trust me, people always want to make comments because they think they know everyone’s relationship, but the relationship they need to fix is their own, ha misery loves company. Young and old guys always hold in your heart and mind, love has no limit and love sees no color or age

    Be Strong and fight for love

    Lady leo loves libra king

  • Teegal

    June 18th, 2015 at 2:55 AM

    I met this guy 4 years ago and we are so inlove I’m 37years old and he is 32, I know I lookyoung but get so concerned sometimes, I love him and he loves me but i feel I need to set him free although this is going to break my heart and his too. please advise me what to do. I have met his family and they love me.

  • Anonymous

    June 21st, 2015 at 5:07 PM

    It’s only five years – I don’t even see that as an age difference. Don’t sweat it one more second and just love your man.

  • Judylyn

    August 11th, 2015 at 11:03 AM

    Five years is nothing… Not even an issue. I am 27 years older than my boyfriend. We did not discuss age at all for about a month after we met. By then, we had deep feelings. Go with the flow! Age is only a number! What is in the heart is what counts!

  • Beth

    June 20th, 2015 at 10:10 AM

    I am a 63 year old woman married 25 years to a man who is now 83. We have had a wonderful marriage but it is getting more difficult for both of us. He has had many health problems but we have gotten thru them together. Now he is having serious short term memory problems. So, along with repeating most of what I say because of his impaired hearing, I have to repeat things over and over to remind him. He is also becoming very irritated and short tempered. Reaching this age of diminished capacity is very very frustrating. He has told me he can never be happy because I am a constant reminder of he was 20 years ago and all that he has lost. So – before you think about marrying someone 20 years older. spend some time with some 80 year olds and see how that goes.
    I would not trade our time together for anything and I do not regret it but watching the person you love slowly deteriorate before your eyes is devastating. We have had the better and now we have the worse.. It is hard for BOTH of us.-

  • Jen

    August 8th, 2015 at 7:25 PM

    Hi Beth,

    Your post was particularly relevant to me since I am 18 years younger than my boyfriend. He is 66 and I am 48. We are both active and healthy. I realize this will not always be the case. We are both deeply in love and have grown so as a couple in our 3 year dating relationship thus far. We both were married before – him once to the same woman for 28 years; me twice – first to an older man (13 yrs older) and then to a man my same age. I struggle with the age difference at times, but then I can’t imagine giving him up now when we share and create so many wonderful times together! Another post pointed out that loss is inevitable and that the “loss” would either be now or later. My boyfriend reminds me that no one really knows the future, anyway. Do you have any advice for me?

  • Anonymous

    June 20th, 2015 at 11:40 AM

    I wouldn’t mind some analysis on this. I am a 40 year old woman with a pattern. I can’t seem to date anyone older than late 20’s early 30’s. That seems to be a consistent range. My guess at the reasoning has to do with the fact that I have never married and therefore never divorced or had kids. In my 20’s I wasn’t ready and in my 30’s I traveled a lot. Men my age are a different world. X-wives, children, way different life experience, plus I look about ten years younger than I am and am healthy, and that changes who approaches you. I tend to be attracted to single, never married, healthy men, with a passion for life, who are old enough that they have life experience and have been out on there own for a while, and I think you find that more in that range, but then I weird myself out about the age difference. Fertility, and children, is obviously an important question, but my doc says I’m good to go till about 45 if I choose to. I tend to become interested and the weird myself out about the age difference. It’s a catch 22. Am I missing a psychological issue about myself, or do I need to just let go, and go for it?

  • Anonymous

    June 20th, 2015 at 11:54 AM

    My curent interest is a 13/14 year gap.

  • John

    July 16th, 2015 at 7:43 AM

    I think it’s pretty obvious that there’s something going on here emotionally/psychologically that you’re probably not conscious of.

    Get thee to a therapist. I did and it’s amazing how much I learned about myself.

  • Anonymous

    July 16th, 2015 at 10:04 PM

    This is as therapist as it gets. Lol! If you see something – point it out. I seriously think I just don’t like kids and x-wives. Lol

  • Anonymous

    August 20th, 2015 at 9:14 AM

    I don’t think there’s something “wrong” with you or those you men. From personal experience, I’m similar, I don’t look my age at all, still get carded everywhere I go. And I’ve been mostly with younger men recently. Some young men are suitable for more mature women, that is why they seek it out. Not because they need a “mom”, sometimes both parties just cannot find suitable match in their own age group. I think if you generally are always only interested in teenage boys, then, you should go to a therapist. Otherwise I don’t think you need to be labeled. And enjoy live.

  • Tex

    June 20th, 2015 at 5:39 PM

    First, forgive me for my possible bad English, it’s not my native.
    ————
    I am 43, she is 22.
    We met in club 2 days before and go out from club to talk and walk with allot of smiles and beautiful comunication. We been all night together. Huging, kissing, talking… It was magical.
    I lied about years in fear of rejection and fearing that i may shock her, saying that i am 33 years old and she reacted good on that gap. I look at least 10 year younger and i sensed that i migh scare her if i tell true age. I feel guilty and i want to tell her just dont know should i wait a little bit before that.

    She is in another town from yesterday and will return in about one week.
    I called her today to come out with me when she was in bus, traveling to home(she study in my city and goes to another where she was with parrents).

    I know she like me and i realy like her to.
    I fall in love, long time didn’t.
    Thinking about her, my answer to prayers and can’t sleep..

    Since we separate two days before i wan’t to protect her, be there for her, give her love and attention.

    Someone in comments says that older guys don’t play games, being honnest.
    I lied about years, please tell me your opinion when is good time to apologise and tell truth..

    Thanks

  • Natasha

    June 22nd, 2015 at 7:12 PM

    To be honest with you, I think you should tell her the truth. If she truly loves you for who you are, she will also accept your age. Not until you two are close enough at least…
    Tell her you’re sorry for lying and explain calmly why you lied and tell her you’ll appreciate her wholly. Hopefully she will understand :)
    Best regards,
    Natasha

  • Sierra

    June 21st, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    I’m a 15 year old girl and I’ve always dated girls (yes, girls)older than me. Usually its only by a year or two, but I reasently met this girl, she’s 10 years older than me. She didn’t know my age when we first met, and I didn’t know hers. I feel weird about the age gap but I also really want to be with her. Help?

  • Tex

    June 22nd, 2015 at 12:03 AM

    Just to add something..
    I think she lost interest and decided to forget me.
    I send her message but no answer from yesterday(09 am now).

    Eh..

  • david

    June 23rd, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    I have been married to my wife for 7 years and have been together for 17 years. We have gone through many ups and downs. Have separated in 2007 for 6 months and have had about 5 other short separations. I am now 41 years old, as is my wife. 3 years ago I met a young 20 year old girl and what started out as an affair has now grown into something deep. I am in love with this woman. She is very independent, always there for me, supports me in my hobby and my job, lifts me up when I am down, makes me weak in the knees when around me and always puts a smile on my face. She is a 35 year old trapped in a 23 year old body. She has always been understanding toward my marriage and has never interfered with it. She has fallen in love with me as well. I have a hobby in the nightclub industry which allows me to be out of my home at night many times throughout the month so i use any excuse I can to spend time with this other woman. My wife has been the perfect woman and loves me like no other, but my feelings are not mutual as we have grown apart. I guess I am 41 going on 31. Physically and mentally (but by no means do I neglect my responsibilities as a father to our 17 and 19 year old as well as man duties). My main fear of moving forward with her is the age difference. I am now 41 and she is 23, although we communicate quite a bit on this subject and she believes deep down she will be in this relationship for the long run, it is hard to accept as I was once 23 and understand the changes 20 years can bring to a person. But, I am miserable without her and feel as if I could be missing out on the love I deserve. It isn’t fair to me, my wife or the woman I am truly n love with. Any advise would help.

  • Anonymous

    June 24th, 2015 at 8:05 AM

    Any woman you are having an affair with is absolutely interfering in your marriage. Really think about what you said there. It’s disrespectful to both of them. Treat women better.

  • anon

    June 24th, 2015 at 2:21 PM

    I am in exactly the same situation. The age gap is identical to us and my affair partner has told me the exact same thing but, like you, I can’t get the age gap thing out of my head either. When I am with her everything is amazing and we get on well together, we have fun and things are great. We enjoy each others company and the issue of the age gap doesn’t enter my thoughts. It’s when we are not together I get very insecure and worry about the age gap thing and start to have my doubts.

    I also have a long term partner who knows nothing about my affair and we are going through a rough time at the moment. Things have become very stale between us for the past 12 months. We are in the middle of separating. I am addicted to this young woman. Some days I think what the hell, just go for it. She is happy with me. Then other days I have massive doubts. I love being with this woman but I am just so confused.

  • Anonymous

    August 20th, 2015 at 9:08 AM

    I had a short affair with a married man, 20 years my senior. I cannot help but wanting to tell you that chances are she’s in it for the thrill and convenience. If she loves you, she won’t want to share you with another woman. It’s not something you can logic yourself into, it’s behavioral science. She doesn’t “interfere” because she doesn’t truly love and care. And love is not infatuation, maybe if you can be honest with yourself, you’d know it too. Everyone loves the excitement of “love”, but it’s the infatuation that’s attractive. Really love with stick through times when you think you are “growing apart”, because it gives you the strength to shoulder responsibility and pull through unpleasant times. Which, of course infatuation won’t need you to do.

  • Moni

    June 27th, 2015 at 2:40 PM

    I’m a 43 year old woman, and most tell me I look younger. I have always had the luck of being approached by younger men. I met a 33 year old man who states our age difference is not a problem for him. That’s sweet, but I have 3 children and he has none. That would be selfish of me to deprive him of the feel of being a father. I really care about him, and probably has deep feelings for me. Please advise :(

  • Jacgrant

    July 4th, 2015 at 7:20 PM

    I’m the same 43 but look 35
    And have always attracted younger men.. Most in their early to mid 20s but it feels all wrong because I have two 20+ daughters and it’s too weird.
    One in particular is very sweet and wants a relationship but I can’t see it going right

  • Nicole

    June 27th, 2015 at 9:26 PM

    I work at a waterpark and we have a program where we have people from other countries who work here to learn english. The other day i met a guy from Turkey he was cute in a personality way, (looks too), and he was speaking well enough english to talk to me for quite a while. I got an attraction to him and i want to know more about him, but not only friends i want to hug him and cuddle its just a feeling i have. But the problem is im 15 and he is turning 21 soon. I was looking online to see other age gap differences and what i can do. Does anyone have any advice at all for what i can do? My mom is ok with hanging out with him and being very close friends even the cuddling and stuff on the down low deffintaly no sex i have a purity ring and plan to stick to it.

  • Tigelilly

    July 2nd, 2015 at 8:27 PM

    Awkward situation. I am a lady 35 yrs of age with zero experince. My problem (other than that) is that though I look like I am in my late 20s, I know I am not. Became really good friends with a guy I work with he is only 19yrs. He wants our friendship to be more, but that is 16yr age difference. Technically I could have given birth to him physically. I know gross. See my problem? I really like him, but not sure about a relationship. I do not want to ruin the friendship, as he and I get along so well, but I can’t seem to get over the whole Cougar thing. Why is it so much harder for a woman than a man? This is very important due to many conversations he keeps trying to get me to say yes. I just can’t see how it would work. Oh and did I mention I had a workrelated injury which is forcing me to file for bankruptcy and worse of all live with my parents. He also still lives with his, but my situation is a whole lot worse. How do you tell someone you really like anday actually like like someday that you just can’t do it right now? I was thinking of suggesting a alternative choice, wait till he is at least 21yrs and if he and I have not found someone by then we would try it. Is this a bad option? I really don’t want to hurt him he means a lot to me.

  • bilo

    July 3rd, 2015 at 3:19 AM

    Hello people I’m from Tanzania and dating a girls who is older than me she is turning 29 in September and I just turned 19. Her mom and her 28 year old brother don’t approve of our relationship the father doesn’t know and we have been dating for close to 3 years now she works and has a stable life I lost my parents an year ago and I’m trying to make it out here we just broke up 2 days back for a reason that we argue alot and I have been disrespectful with her cause of stress I can’t seem to leave with her as I feel I won’t be able to do anything without her being by my side. I’ve had the best 2 years and ten months with her supported me when I needed someone to and I’ve always be side to side with her but now I don’t know what I should do. Cause we talk and she tells me that she loves me and no one can ever take my place in her heart and that we should give this time when I ask her to trust me and give me another chance she says we shouldn’t talk about this as she’ll stop taking to me and I’m making it hard for her. Please someone help me

  • Mel

    July 4th, 2015 at 9:49 AM

    I have had partners with only a few years difference. None worked out. Two were abusive and one was very stressful. It wasnt untill I met my husband who is 24 years older that I felt mentally connected with someone. Its like ESP sometimes. I would be thinking of a solution to a problem and he would say it or he would be thinking of somthing spontaneous and I would say it out loud. Its spooky. I use to be critical of psychic stuff and took it with a grain of salt, but experience proved otherwise. The love we have is beautiful. The only worry I have is aging; watching him deterorate in old age first. I would hate to lose him. It bothers me. Peoples judgements don’t. The only thing that reminded me of the gap was a snide remark from our doctor. But people close to us understand. It occurred to me why we connect too. He is from the boomers generation and I am part of the second one after the punk gen. Our political ideals and philosophies are identical. I wouldnt be surprised if this connection isnt happening alot.

  • John

    July 16th, 2015 at 7:39 AM

    “Two were abusive and one was very stressful.”

    What makes you think this has anything to do with their ages?

    Corellation is not causation.

  • Fira

    July 13th, 2015 at 8:45 AM

    Hi
    I’m 20 years old and my boyfriend is 45 years old with 9 years old son, which i love the most. His son was so nice and polite and really mature. I can see that my boyfriend successfully raised his son to be a wonderful kid. I am so happy with my boyfriend, he’s like the answer for all of my prayers. And i’m not a gold digger or have a daddy issue, its just being with him, is the best feeling ever.
    I’m still studying in the university and he wants to marry me already. We’ve already talk about everything, about getting married and then me continue studying. I agree and i want to do that. But my parents disagree and they wont let me marry the man i love because they said he is too old for me and he has a son.
    I really dont know what to do and how to convince my parents that my boyfriend is a really nice guy and i love him so much. I cannot run away and leave my parents and choose my boyfriend, but i dont want to lose him either.

  • Laura

    July 18th, 2015 at 5:35 PM

    You just wait until you are 55 and he is 80. I am there. If I had known it would be as difficult as this I would not have gotten into it. I advise some long hard thinking.

  • Anonymous

    July 18th, 2015 at 7:07 PM

    My mom went through that with my dad and they were roughly the same age. But he got sick first. Getting old and going through end of life is never easy. I worry more about whether you will regret losing the person you are with so young rather than dealing with the things that happen at the end. That’s life no matter how old you are.

  • Anne

    July 15th, 2015 at 9:02 PM

    Hi. Is it bad to have almost a 7 year gap between me and my partner (boyfriend)?

  • Anne

    August 20th, 2015 at 8:53 AM

    Nope. I don’t think so, my boyfriend trust turned 20 and is 7 years younger than me. One of the things I learnt from him is that it’s not about whether it’s bad or not, it depends on the determination of the couple, it works only when you decide to make it work. I’ve taken plenty crap from people, especially people that are our mutual acquaintances, but that should never be the reason to quit if you truly love someone for good reasons.

  • Dan

    July 19th, 2015 at 7:14 AM

    I’m a 55 year old man involved with a woman exactly 20 years younger than me. We both have very deep feelings for one another and are on our 8th month together. I have made more of an issue about the age difference than she has, in fact, she’s never even brought it up and thinks age is just a number. Recently I discovered that she has been involved in several online relationships of a sexual nature, including the trading of nude pictures and graphic sexual scenarios with these men and what they want to do to each other. Needless to say, this troubles me greatly and I consider it cheating and a betrayal. She swears up and down that nothing has ever happened, is very sorry, and it won’t happen again. These men were all close to the same age as her. I’m Not sure if she’s sorry she did it or sorry she was caught. My feeling is that if she did it once she’ll do it again. So I’m torn between leaving her and being alone again (not getting any younger here), or staying together and taking my chances on trusting her. We had discussed in the beginning, that the only thing that would split us up is cheating and/or fidelity. My gut instinct says leave…

  • Pia

    August 18th, 2015 at 5:57 AM

    Hi there,
    I know this post is older and you might not see my response, but I figured I still try.
    My husband and I have been married now since 11 years. Im 16 years younger.
    The first 6 years of our marriage were hell, because HE did exactly what your girlfriend did. I heard every single promise and lie there is in this world. He had multiple identities on the internet. The phone numbers of those girls were saved with his male friends names.
    You see Im very pretty and never said “no” to him, the women he was involved with were allover the place, including weight, age, skin color and some were downright ugly (yes I talked to many of them) but and most important!!! for some reasons I never doubted that he loved me. I honestly couldnt understand why he was doing this to me. After 6 years of pleading and begging I was fed up, I rented a house, ready to leave. Thats when he finally woke up.
    You see this is some kind of addiction, it has nothing to do with you, but everything with self esteem and gratification. Something is lacking in her life.
    My husband quit his job of 32 years that he hated, Started a new career he loves, computers and cell phones were gone for almost a year and he agreed to therapy.
    We made it and Im glad we did. It wasnt easy, Im not gonna lie! Sometimes the memories come back and I have to move on again. All in all it was worth to hang inthere, but nobody can make the decision for your relationship but you and her. If she is telling you it has nothing to do with you, she is probably not lying, but there certainly is an issue. Find out what it is and either move on or out!
    I wish you the best of luck!

  • Stephany

    September 1st, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Hi Dan…please follow your instincts..leave. I know it’s difficult to think about being alone, but she is betraying your trust and loyalty by contacting other men in the first place..and secondly,sending these men nude, or any other photo for that matter, is way over stepping the relationship boundaries. How long would she have continued her behavior had you not discovered it? How involved would it have become? She’s only sorry and falling over herself to apologize because you caught her! She had no intention of getting caught and would still be doing it..if you had not found out first. Save yourself the pain and headache of no trust, always looking over your shoulder, and certainly..no love. Someone else awaits your loyalty and heart. If you say it’s ok..and stay with her..you may have just allowed her to do it again once you feel safe. People can and do change..so she could be the exception, but my gutt tells me No. Move on..find happiness. Best wishes!

  • Hannah Riedel

    September 29th, 2015 at 8:20 PM

    I am a 23 year old female involved with a 44 year old man. (21 year age gap) We have been together for 5 years. I used to do this to him….and I don’t regret anything more. Confront her about it calmly. Ask her why she thinks she’s doing it. Maybe she wants out of the relationship but can’t bring herself to tell you. Maybe she isn’t satisfied sexually in the relationship. Or maybe, like me, she just needs to find herself in some way or another. She may even need to see a therapist (couldn’t hurt!). Basically, trust your gut. If her feelings for you seem pure but she has moments of darkness when you are apart, then get her help.

  • Richie

    July 24th, 2015 at 1:19 PM

    Hi,I am 16and I love a person who is 47years old.But my parents will not permit me to marry him but we love each other and we can’t leave each other.I know it sounds insanse but it’s also true that I cant not live without him and the problem is his sons are much older than me and for my parents are not happy with me,so what should I do?

  • Daisy

    July 24th, 2015 at 9:26 PM

    Hi Richie, In your specific situation I would highly recommend the advice given in the paragraphs above
    “Know When the Difference Is Too Large

    Love can be fickle, and we don’t always fall for the right people. Sometimes a significant age gap makes a relationship impossible. No matter how real your feelings are, getting involved with someone under the age of 18 can lead to serious legal trouble.”

    With you only being 16 you can get him into big trouble. Also that is a huge age gap, you two are on separate stages in life you don’t even have a license to drive or are able to drink legallt in a bar . . . I’m a bit concerned as to why he would be interested in someone sooo young, he would be considered a pedophile. Take my advice and understand that it wouldn’t work out and find someone closer to your age

  • Tex

    July 29th, 2015 at 5:08 AM

    Completely agreed with Daisy. 100%

  • Marjorie

    October 20th, 2015 at 12:16 PM

    I profoundly agree with Daisy.
    Please girls do not allow yourself to be brain washed by these men, so many strange things are happening in these type of marriages. At the end most young married women end up dating other men out of their marriages. And they will be dating young men of their age or younger.
    So please girls do not rush to conclude leave your doors open. Love sometimes can mislead you, men are very good in luring young girls.
    Experienced women please help others before it’s too late.
    Girls listen and take advise from your parents they will never mislead you.

  • CODtres----

    August 1st, 2015 at 9:33 AM

    Hi everyone! I think I also need a good advise about my relationship right now… I’m from philippines.. I’m almost 19 years old and still studying in college. I met this man he is already 40 years old.. He is an officer of the US army but hes a Filipino but grew up in States. And he was assigned here in philippines last 2014. We met last september 2014 while where having our party with their team.. But we didn’t have a formal conversation. Until february this year we have the opportunity to talk and share our stories with each other.. To be honest I dont want him at first because of our age gap, but everyday he shows me his efforts and suddenly I fell inlove with him. We became official last march and we are happy being together. Its not my thing to ask personal questions about his personal life. But I heard that he has two children 8&3 years old. But he was divorced with his wife.. My question is should I ask him about his real stayus right now or what? I dont know what to say. But, I’m happy with him right now. I know how much he loves me and i love him that much too. And he is in california right now back to his duty and me, still here in the philippines studying in college. But we have daily communication through email.. But there are no problems or issues with my parents they told me that i will be careful because im not sure if he is really divorced or not. Im afraid to ask him about this kind of issue.. Please help me. Im afraid if his family will not like me bacause im too young for their bro. I need you advice :( thanks

  • Hannah R

    September 29th, 2015 at 8:11 PM

    Just make sure you follow your heart and speak up for yourself. If you still love each other and grow from each other, don’t let the idea of an age gap relationship be the reason you end it. Don’t be ashamed – ever. When I was 18, I met a man who was 40 and got kicked out of my house for talking to him behind my mom’s back. We moved in together right away. I am now 23 and just as in love with him, if not more. If you are willing and passionate enough about each other, try to overcome what others think and just do you. :)

  • Dulce

    November 4th, 2015 at 1:03 AM

    Do you think an 19 year old with a 30+ year old is too much of a gap difference?

  • Ashley

    August 6th, 2015 at 10:51 AM

    My partner is 35 years older than me and it has been the most fulfilling relationship I have ever had. We get along great, have similar tastes, and are both very active. Our age difference has not once affected our relationship with one another. However, it certainly has affected our relationships with family and friends to the extent of his daughter refusing to speak to him and my father refusing to speak to me. In my opinion, the hardest part about a significant age difference is the constant judgement and stereotypes from nearly everyone you come by. For him, it’s easy to ignore. For me, I’m still trying to find the best way of coping; but so far it’s been worth it.

  • Anonymous

    August 26th, 2015 at 3:07 AM

    Really? That’s really beautiful. Hope you find all the happiness in the world with each other.

  • gaibeah l

    August 17th, 2015 at 6:59 AM

    Hi there !! Im 16 years old and im deadly inl0ve with a man whose age is 36., we have 20 years age gap., he told me also that he dont want us to have a relationship bec0z of the age gap., but im always telling him that age d0ensnt matter., that i l0ve him so much., but hes just always treating me like a sister.,hes always telling me to study well. Av0id that av0id this, do that do this.., like a true br0ther and it really hurts for me.,, like hell.., he even calls me like “buns0.,” its like a baby sister in filipin0 language., and hes always asking me to call “kuya” or br0ther., but i reall l0ve him.., i really really do., im always crying at night bec0z of this feelings and hurt in my heart., please help me

  • Mazz

    August 28th, 2015 at 9:37 AM

    Hi guys. I have been having the most distressing time of my dating life even though this has been also the best time of my dating life, paradoxically. It started as some simple fun and trying to customize myself to the concept of seeing a guy for a brief time only. I’m usually a relationship type. Long story short, I met a man 20 years younger than me and the unison has now turned into a relationship. He has no issue with our gap but understands my concerns and social repercussions. I know I can’t have him forever due to the difference but both of us love being together, we make each other feel good and because I look young, the age gap isn’t that obvious by looking. Perhaps there is a small difference by appearance. I’m a freak though and easily hide 10-15 years off my age. Anyway, point is, I have been going through the worst guilt for liking a man my junior. He’s the best time I’ve ever had, gives me all I want, takes care of all my needs, naturally, not by force, on all emotional, mental, physical levels and a whole lot more. Sadly society sees such differences as taboo especially when the woman is older. And I am not kidding myself. I know I have to let go one day, I just don’t want to do it while we are both having such a good time together and are nurturing each other’s needs. So distressed … He’s such a good guy and I love everything about him. He is everything I ever wanted in a guy from the physical chemistry I feel for him to his personality. If he was older I would have married him in a heartbeat. : -(

  • Dj

    September 13th, 2015 at 2:11 AM

    I married a man 25yrs my junior. Love does not age discriminate.

  • Anonymous

    September 12th, 2015 at 10:56 PM

    Hello I would really appericiate a feedback plz reply . i am a 16yr old girl..I recently met a guy on insta we really connected he said he was 26 yrs old .he is funny ,charming, handsome ,kind ,caring ..everything a girl could ever ask for until 2days before when he told me that he is actually 33yrs old and that he kept this from me cuz i wouldn’t agree to be in a relationship with him had he told me his real age ..i seriously m confused. i freaking love this man .. He is so kind he even said he would never ask me to run away with him and would convince my parents no matter what .. I dont know what to do now ..i love him but a 17yr age difference is too much for me .it means by the time i’ll be 23 he’ll already be 40 . i don’t wanna hurt him but i can’t bring myself to a practival proper decision plz help

  • Cass

    September 17th, 2015 at 7:14 AM

    Hey girl,

    I wanted to tell you to break it off. You may not want to hear that but really at 16 we don’t know what we want. I just turned 21 and ended a 3 year relationship with a guy 6 years my senior. I am now just really figuring out what I want but I don’t have it all figured out. The attention is great now but 16 is not enough experience to know if you are going to be happy with a 33yr old. If it’s meant to be, life will bring you together again in the future. Don’t waste your youth like I have.

  • Amy

    September 16th, 2015 at 9:00 PM

    I need some advice.. I’m 27 years old and my boyfriend of 3 months is 17 ( 10 year difference) and just started his senior year in high school.. I have a one year old daughter also.. Before we honestly got into this relationship I told him I needed someone who was going to stay with me and love me and love my daughter I didn’t want someone who was going to walk out on us.. I told him I didn’t need money I just needed him to love me and her.. I told him I was scared of his senior year starting cause I know back when I was a senior I didn’t want to be tied down to anyone I wanted to go to all of the senior party’s, footballs games, senior prank nights. I wanted to live it all.. But he told me he didn’t want to do any of that he just wanted me.. I told him I didn’t want him to regret not living his life and he also said I have lived my life enough I’m ready for you and your daughter I want a family and I want you.. We honestly feel in love at first sight!! I have already introduced him to my daughter and he loves her!! The way his eyes light up when he is around her makes me so happy!! He turns 18 In December none of his family knows anything about me yet.. My family knows of him tho and even tho they had their snide comments they are warming up.. He was raised Deep South where everything is yes mam no mam and sir.. If his family knew now they would forbid us from ever talking to each other till he turns 18 so he lies.. I just wonder if anyone else has been through this and what they done to get by not being able to see their significant other a lot and being worried all the time.. He went through his phone and all his social media accounts deleted all the girls and said he never wanted another girl but me my daughter and his momma.. He even calls my daughter his daughter… Feed back would be great

  • Jodi

    September 21st, 2015 at 1:44 AM

    Abort! I can promise you this will not work. First off he is 17! You are way too old for him. He is still very much a teenager! You are an adult. Three months into it and he is calling your daughter his. That isn’t enough time for you two to really know one another, especially to put your daughter in the situation. I turned 29 in April. I have a six yr old son. There is no way on God’s green earth that it would cross my mind to date a 17 yr old. I also don’t introduce guys to my son as my bf. Maybe introduce as my friend and act as such around my son until it’s serious, like a ring on my finger serious. Everyone you know probably thinks this situation is absurd, because it is! If I was his parents I would be livid. Read your own post a few times and think long and hard about your question. Common sense should kick in at some point hopefully. If it doesn’t… then you have no common sense and never had it your whole life. Common sense keeps me from ever gettin g in situations such as you explained. Good luck… post back when it goes south. Don’t mean to be rude, it’s just a mind blowing situation. You should already know the answer.

  • Alex

    November 9th, 2015 at 6:57 AM

    Don’t listen to anyone when they make snide remarks. I’m talking to a 27 year old & im 18 . We have been talking for almost 9 months now . No he does not have a kid , but when we first started talking I was pregnant with a 21 year old and I was 17 . He wanted to help me and wanted me to move in with him with my kid . He was all for it , and didn’t love me less or more . My parents don’t know , and didn’t plan to until I graduated . He means the world to me and j don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met him . I’ve never met anyone else so kind to me . Do you & good luck !

  • Catheyas

    September 30th, 2015 at 3:11 AM

    hello world,
    help me ! or pray for me . i m 18 year old gril and i meet a boy in uni his 31, we like and love each other unconditionally. he tolled me , he do care about me n like me lots ., but he is been in married for 7 year. but now separated for 12 month from their married , he have a boy (5 year old ), and the boy staying with dad 3 and half days and with him and 3 and half with his X. he is saying , in very nice way , stoping me to not involved this love. because of age different and family background . he Muslim and i m catholic . infect he tolled me to not meet any more because the more we meet and things getting more complicated , i know and i can feel he loves me and i know and i can feel him n love him too . dont know what to do. please help me or pray for us. God bless :)

  • rational

    November 22nd, 2015 at 6:45 AM

    I can say this enthusiastically. The man you love is a selfish cheating piece of garbage. He is using you. I will pray that you talk to a priest for help from that abusive man

  • That One Guy

    October 6th, 2015 at 7:52 AM

    I’m a 22 year old guy and I have feelings for a girl 7 years younger than me. She and I walk the same walk in faith, she’s wise beyond her years and she is sweet in a quiet way. I’m aware that females mature mentally quicker than males do and that’s why I’m alright with it. Also because I do not want pre-marital sex or anything inappropriate like that and I would wait until she is at least 18 to even make a move to be with her. I guess I just want to know if I am the only one who thinks this is okay.

  • Dee dee

    October 6th, 2015 at 9:25 PM

    I am 24. This man I have been seeing, who I am very m

  • Archer

    October 8th, 2015 at 8:12 PM

    Great channel devoted to age gap couples of all types – very grounded level headed people who have experienced age gap couple concerns. The introductory video is full of information: youtube.com/watch?v=ApcvLrRLc7k

  • Tweet

    October 21st, 2015 at 9:28 AM

    Hi I tend to attract younger guys like all of my life although I dress age appropriate. But I must say I still get carded and look 10 yrs younger. My beau is 23 and I’m 37. He’s not your atypicsl 23 yr old. He acts as though hes my dad. Ugh. Weird huh? I worry about the age gap but he doesnt care nor his family or friends. He’s constantly teaching me things and say im a bit misguided. The nerves! We’re inseparable in love and the sex is amazing. So why am I scared? He treats me like a queen but I cant get past the 13 year gap. Should I stay or go?

  • Debbie

    October 30th, 2015 at 5:28 AM

    I met Ray when I was 37 and he was 20 but never looked at him as a guy to date but he was very persistant with asking me out. He always acted older then his friends who were older but could still party and have a blast. We went out with co workers and have been together 28 years. Got married after 16 years of living together. Still think about age difference but my husband doesn’t. So you never know.

  • Tiffany

    October 21st, 2015 at 10:08 AM

    So glad to came across this page and I’m not the only person!
    Am 28 and been seeing this guy 64 since last year, we met thru travel and click right away.
    I never have a bf (yes, no bf for frikkin 28 yrs) and I live my life as it is until I met him.
    We have lots of common interest and he wanted me to travel RTW w him. I’m still in dilemma because 1) Age gap 2) Interracial 3) what will my family say (they are very asian oriented)
    I’ve been wanting to travel RTW since I’m tired of working in the office and here’s my chance but I don’t know how to face the society and family.
    We travel a few times already and we worked out just fine…. Except that I don’t like how ppl see us.
    He really respect me and yes we cuddle, give hugs but no s*x as I’m not ready yet.

    I’m not sure how long we will last but I really love the idea traveling w him. Sometimes I just hope my family is more open minded.

  • Karen

    October 25th, 2015 at 3:20 PM

    Just reading through responses. Glad I’m not alone…but atypical. I’m a 48 yo female, he’s a 25 yo male. Ugh…

  • Mai

    October 31st, 2015 at 2:32 AM

    Im 21 and had been dating with 58 yo guy. He has not been divorced yet with his 2nd wife. He have a son 30 plus old and 2 daughters in 30’s too. Im in the other side of the world.:-( We keep on hiding our relationship as of now but we love each other so much and hes trying to fix everything even if its so complicated . The real thing is we understand to each others feelings, circumstances dislikes, and etc. And we speak different languages but i çan communicate with him through english. there are lot of things to adjust since all of the aspects in my life is not th same the way he is. but that is not the hendrance of our relationship.. i think its because even if we havent met yet but we know how to keep to communicate with our feelings, thoughts, desire and perceptions in life and whatever they say is we dont give a shit ! just be real about everything and establish a good foundation which works best for us..

  • June A.

    October 31st, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    Hi. I’m a 36 year old woman and since going to college, I met people younger than me. I got to know a young male and we formed a close friendship. We have been great friends for over a year. All of a sudden, one day last week, I started to see him in a new light and now I find myself very attracted to him. I sense he is attracted to me too, but unsure. Should I talk to him about my feelings? I live in the UK and he will be 18 next month. I’m 36. Any advice appreciated. Thank you.

  • Maaike

    November 1st, 2015 at 1:52 PM

    Im a 44 year old woman who has a relationship with a young man of 22.Its nog So much the agedifference what makes our relationship difficult.We got a lot of psychiological problems from our childhood we have tot overcome.My So Called mother-in-law has made it very difficult for US to continue our relationship.

  • Nicole

    November 18th, 2015 at 9:19 AM

    I’m 35, and am in love with a 17 yr old. I’m in Canada and 18 is legal age. I told him when he’s 18, if he still feels the same about me we’ll see where it can go. I see he is 17 though, lol still acts a bit immature, but in a funny way. He doesn’t care what people think of us. But he’s not legal. I am so in love. I have two friends who know about my feelings, one is in total disgust, one says to follow my heart. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt such an ache in my heart not being able to be with him. We talk, we laugh, we listen to the same music. I’ve just separated seven months ago, he’s been on his own since he was 14, and just moved out on his own, so are both going through a life change together. Supporting each mothers choices and decisions. He knows what he wants. He always tells me he’s in love with me. But I fear it’s because I take care of him and he’s had a bad few years, away from family, living with a bad man. But he is more of a man than my husband was. I hope it works out for you, because honestly, I want to start a relationship with him. I know my friends and family would be so upset and think it’s wrong. But I don’t want kids, so she won’t affect that, and I still look young and am very active. He tells me I’m sexy all the time.

  • rational

    November 22nd, 2015 at 6:40 AM

    On another note. Wow. A 17 year old boy tells a woman that she is sexy? Newsflash! A 17 year old BOY will mate with a family pet if no one would catch him

  • Luis

    November 26th, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    Hi nicole, my name is luis, and i am a 20 year old guy. Well i met this lady whose name i wont say, but i will say this, she is 38.
    Where to start?! Haha. We had a relation of about 4 months but i’ve known her for about 4 years, and to be honest yes, i like women a little older than me but the same holds true for those of my age or younger, the fact is that i always believed that for love there are no ages, however in the back of my mind i never imagined i would fall in love with with her, a woman having, four children, well one of them is older than me by one year, yet somehow during those four years we created or formed something, something i thought could not be love, for i thought there was no way, first the age, then four kids, and now my family, they definitely dont want me anywhere near her, and she is so comprehensive, so nice, i love her smile, and her eyes have something i cant explain, her hair, the way she is, i just cant believe it. We connect in everything, its as if she could read my mind or i could read hers, i know what can make her laugh or say “awww” i know her and i know she knows me, she is in 2 words, my Soul mate, i love her and she loves me. It is beautiful to love, but to be loved by the one you love it certainly cant be described, its like heaven on earth……..the fact is that we are apart from each other,for now. The wait is said to be for three years, and i have committed my self to be faitful to her for that time and more if needed. She is afraid i will run away after living a time with her but i will prove that i can, because of her, stay until death do us apart, and many may look at this and say, these are foolishness, well a relationship wont work out by itself, its the two beings that need to make it work, its like a pair of legs pedaling a bicycle, one can make the bicycle move, but it is the two that will make the bicycle cross the finish line….so my counsel to,you is, wait, wait a little longer and test him, if he loves you he will try his hardest….!!

  • Nadia

    December 8th, 2015 at 9:20 AM

    Wow, I’m 29 and I’m in love with an 18 year old male. I’ve known him for years now he had a crush on me the moment he met me. His grandmother is my God Mother and she thinks of me as an adopted daughter that’s what she tells everyone. Anyway when he turned 17 he opened up to me about how he felt for me as my feelings we’re mutual as well but i kept my distance due to the age. Now he’s 18 and he’s starting to do well for himself I’m so happy for him. I may be pregnant by him not ssure yet. I’m preparing myself for the ridicule I might face if i am. Like someone mentioned in an earlier post you don’t choose who you fall in love with or become attracted to. sometimes the universe just has a way of making things fall into place…just follow your heart is all I can say. He may be mature for his age. Live in the moment don’t stress yourself out about the future or the age difference live day by day…I made the mistake of not doing those things now I’m trying to put those things into practice. I pray everything works out for you and him. Just sharing my story for some inspiration and for the person who said that people date really old or younger have self esteem issues that’s a lie. Ive. Dated just as many guys my age and older and now younger love knows no boundaries, and connected with others in this world doesn’t either.

  • Shellz

    November 1st, 2015 at 2:33 PM

    I’m in the same boat just divorced, dating a younger man, but I’m so confused but I feel so nice being with him. My ex critisizes me about making the same mistake again. My guy is 25 and I’m 46 no one ever believes my age when I tell them. I feel that woman are criticized more often as men for being with younger men verses older men being with younger women. I think at the end of the day that’s what causes the break up the stress about the age gap.
    I’m not sure what I’m going to do, today I woke up thinking I shouldn’t be with my guy that maybe he should be with someone his own age, soon as he got the message he started blowing up my phone. He fights for me something my ex never did not even at the beginning of our relationship. I’m so confused and not sure if I should just go with it or not…

  • Candles

    December 21st, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    I feel the SAAAAAAME WAY!!! I’m 38, the guy I met is only 23… He swears up and down that I’m the one he wants! I’m like, how does this young, sexy guy want me? I explained that I don’t wanna waste his time becz I believe I’m done having kids.. He doesn’t care… He still wants to be with me… What to do!!!!! I don’t wanna rob him of family life.

  • I'm 18

    November 1st, 2015 at 5:03 PM

    Hi everyone I have a problem I met a woman at works she likes me but she is 10 years older than me, I like her tho. What I really want to know is she gonna complain about that she has a full time job and I have a part time job, I’m still studying tho.

  • April

    November 3rd, 2015 at 9:25 PM

    My husband and I met unexpectedly at a restaurant 4 years ago. He is now 54& I’m 33. We get along great! I’m attracted to his life experience, knowledge, stories from life, humor, and personality. I’m blessed with his love of God, myself, acceptance of my young daughters& my flaws. I was raised by my grandparents most of my life, so my husband and I have a lot of the same background,music, views and way of being raised in common!! If you can get past others opinions& not let them bother you, your relationship can be great!!!

  • rational

    November 22nd, 2015 at 6:36 AM

    A man who dates a woman more than 15 years younger has obvious unchecked mental health issues. A WOMAN dating men 15 or more years her senior or worse, younger men are clearly suffering from a low self esteem. These women usually CANNOT admit it at the time. Admitting the problem will force them to deal with the cause. And since the cause(s) is usually very painful or simply a lack of personal self control the solution is too far out of reach. So the easy solution of a truly weak although “successful” and willing man becomes the sad woman’s solution. Truth is a hard pill.

  • Kerry T

    November 4th, 2015 at 12:25 PM

    I have been looking for posts on this site from women in relationships with younger men. I found a few – Tigelilly, Tweet, Karen, Debbie, June A, Maaike, Shellz – I am sure there are others. I am 61 & have been with my partner who is 47, for over 3 yrs. We were friends & neighbours for 2 yrs before friendship developed into love. I look young for my age; really, I AM young for my age. I am healthier & livelier than many of my same-age sisters. I am a professional with Uni degrees and an “old hippie” who used to live on a commune . I see my partner as a rough diamond. He is an ex-rugby player, hard worker, hard drinker, but soft-hearted and generous, emotionally uncomplicated but not what you would call a deep thinker. On the other hand, I have often been accused of thinking too much & I know that I do. He & I are vastly different people and would be an “odd couple” even if we were the same age! We connect strongly in an emotional way. The things we have in common are deep things: we both have strong values about caring for others and caring for the planet. We get on very well domestically, both liking things clean and tidy. Domestic bliss! I believe what we have is true love. But I find it so hard to believe he finds me sexually attractive. I am suffering with such anxiety! I feel myself aging so fast; I see myself ageing! Over the next 10 years, I know I am going to change a lot physically, not in a good way. When we got together, I was barely through menopause but completing that process has changed my body so much that I barely recognise myself! He genuinely seems to not care about the age-difference but it worries the hell out of me. Since being in this relationship, I feel I have lost my peace of mind, which was very valuable to me, and sometimes miss being single or wish for a relationship with someone my own age or older – so that I could feel more secure. But his dear gentle heart means so much to me – I never want to hurt him. He feels we have dealt with my anxieties – we have talked, he’s reassured me – that should be enough, he reckons. Like most men- for him, if you talk about something and “deal with it”, then it’s done & you don’t need to go over it again. Meanwhile I am going quietly nuts, thinking every time he’s not interested in having sex or doesn’t notice that I’ve had my legs waxed (because he hasn’t touched me)… or gets out of without giving me a cuddle…that it’s because I am unattractive. I crave more frequent demonstrations of his passion for me / his interest in me as a woman. I know that he thinks he is quite demonstrative & responsive enough and he probably is, if I wasn’t so insecure. He has no idea how insecure I am and would think I was crazy if he knew, because the evidence points to the fact that he truly loves me. Is anyone else out there going crazy like me? How do you deal with it? I’d love to hear!

  • truelover

    November 5th, 2015 at 7:08 AM

    Your insecurity is no different than a woman who gains weight or has stretch marks or who has body shame. Enjoy your healthy body. Don’t dwell on your man’s thoughts on the matter it sounds like your insecurity is unfounded. Wouldn’t you love him despite any imperfections? Love goes deeper than the skin right? Hugs to you sister! I do understand.

  • Ed

    November 5th, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    How I’m supposed to approach an older woman at work, she said I’m hot but I don’t know how to approach her. Please help me.

  • Andee

    January 3rd, 2016 at 7:04 AM

    Hi Kerry,
    I am in a relationship where I am a 51 yr old woman who I am dating a man who is 15 yrs younger than I. When we met we didn’t know the age gap between us. Now to fast forward….. We have been together for 5 plus years and he asked me to marry him. I have accepted. I sometimes have those issues with wondering if he will still love me when I’m older as I know I will age. Maybe us women put too much into it because he tells me how beautiful and sexy I am. We have been through so much together and 2 years ago he got very ill which affected our lifestyle and him working. Should I give up on him because he is ill? I really do not think he would give up on me because I have aged and feel confident that he will always be here for me. Love knows no age. I always remember Corinthians 13:4-7. I hope this helps a little.

  • truelover

    November 4th, 2015 at 4:23 PM

    Love knows no age. I’ve fallen hard for a 28 year old charming sweet loving open hearted man. I am just 43. We connect better than I’ve connected to anyone my entire life. I no loge feel secretly alone in the world. He gets me. I get him. There’s an acceptance and a joy if who one another truly is. I was uncomfortable with the age difference and first only because I am finished having babies. I did not want to hold him back from that. But he has told me (and shown me) that meeting and falling in love with your soulmate is the greater gift and he intends to be a step dad to my two kids. I’m really so happy from my nose to my toes.

  • Kerry

    November 5th, 2015 at 11:59 AM

    Thank you truelover for your beautiful thoughts. I sneaked a peak at your first comment when I was at work yesterday & your words really did brighten my thoughts & help to vanish the negative state of mind I was in. I agree with almost everything you say – I do believe my insecurity is unfounded & yes I do love him despite his imperfections. I’m not blind or deluded – he does have some! But I love him for the person he is. I know I should have more faith in him & believe him when he tells me the same. I’ve never had the sense of love & belonging that I have with my man, in a relationship before. I know what you mean by not feeling “secretly alone” any longer. I feel that he & I are here to watch out for each other & be on each other’s team – always. I’m aware that I lack faith in love because of past experiences but I need to give my man more credit. He is not shallow & superficial – that’s one of the things I love about him and connect with. There is a difference about my body anxiety from shame about weight gain, stretch marks, etc – it’s that I’ve gone through menopause, which changes your body in irreversible ways and also changes your psyche. I don’t think our ageist society prepares us for menopause. There is a bit of a taboo about talking about the changes – which are different for everybody. But thank you so much for your thoughtfulness & understanding. You really have helped me! I think it is ironic that when I was in my 40s I turned down a lovely man who was only 10 yrs younger than me because I thought he wanted to have children & I wasn’t having any more. Although I was fond of him I did not connect with him in this total heart-felt way that I do with my man now. The deep & total connection we have has to be enough to last the distance and weather the storms – I do believe we have the real deal! Thank you & I wish you a lifetime of loving with your man, sister.

  • Kerry

    November 19th, 2015 at 12:39 PM

    Hi Nicole, I feel for you. Love is not rational or logical. We “fall” in love – that even sounds dangerous! You and this man are both young, by my standards & therefore have a lot of life ahead of you. You are both going to change a lot over time and no one can predict what your lives will be like in 5, 10, 15, 20 or 30 years time. you are wise to wait until he is legally an adult and to be aware of the other factors in your attraction to each other – he might be drawn to you /depending on you because you take care of him; he might be meeting some of your needs that relate to a bad previous relationship and the hole in your life left by the ending of it…but all you really have are your feelings for each other and the choices you make, one day at a time. So I would say, proceed slowly. Continue to be aware of all the factors & unmet needs that are influencing your feelings & choices… and be guided by love, gentleness and honesty. Never forget that you are older and more mature than he is. In my relationship, I am aware that my man is more emotionally dependent on me than I am on him. He has said to me, in a moment of insecurity, “Don’t ever leave me” but I have never said that to him. I am said, “If you ever want to leave, if you meet a younger more attractive woman…just tell me. Be honest with me, because you are free.” I would never try to hold onto him if he wanted to go. But he is a mature man with a lot of life-experience behind him. I am aware that he did not treat previous women particularly well and that he has learned a lot already in his life. Your man has a lot to learn. We all do – but at 17 his life-experience & relationship experience will be limited even if he is a very mature 17 year old. Young men are often attracted to older women – I think they sometimes see our beauty and our “womaness” perhaps more clearly than men our own age. My man seems to see beyond the superficial and see me deeply, the way I want to be seen & known. He is not critical of me like my husband of 28 yrs was! Your man tells you are sexy & I’m sure he sees your inner beauty as well – it is a beautiful thing to be known and loved as you are and for yourself. I wish you well. Try not to be too influenced by the negativity of others. your feelings and those of your man are what is important. Accept the support of understanding friends because you will need it! No one is all that sensible about love and no one should judge another person for following his or her heart. All the best, Kerry

  • Mike

    November 19th, 2015 at 10:36 PM

    I am age 73 wife 30. We have been married for one year. Been together for 3 years. I would like to say that when U love the other person U know what is right and wrong. U give and take the ups downs in life. Always be honest and do not ever get to the point that U think age is the problem. It is only a number and both have differences no matter what the age is. Love and believe in the other person is all U need. We Trust each other have the Lord in our life. This is the difference that we made the commitment to know that what God puts together let no one take apart except him. Life is given to U and what he gives U in a mate is Love from him to give the other in better or worse. We have the better no matter what the issue is. Others always will try to say or do things that are not good. What U do is accept it and stay in love with what is given to U. Let her know that U love her everyday. Tomorrow is not promised. For those that know love stay with each other and let them know what real love is. Nothing is perfect except the Lord. God Bless

  • Crystyana

    December 28th, 2015 at 2:09 PM

    @Mike – Thank you for sharing your story and your view ! It is very helpful because most of the age gap stories are about a difference of 20 something. I am in a 42 years agegap story. I am the youngest. He is 76 years old. He is a genious with a brilliant mind. A polymath and humanitarian. And I have a great respect for his talents and intelligence. And he also highly regards me, never ceasing to elogiate me for my cleverness (so he calls it). So, it is clearly, an attraction based on intellectual common grounds. Besides of that , we are both vegetarians (which is surprise for me, as I have never dated a veg and I don’t personally know many of them). I have always wanted to be the woman in the shadow of a genious man, and he is one. He just can’t bore me. I am very easily bored by most of the men. With this man – he is expert in Letters and Literature – I can chat in quotes and literrary allusions and comments. Instead of saying “I look old” (like anyone would say), he says “Time has passed over my face”. Instead of saying “I am too ill” he sayis “Hypocrates is not favorable towards me”. His methaphorycal speach helps me unleash my own methaphors and triggers my imagination. Our chats are a blending of methaphors and this is the supreme pleasure for me. I have always wanted to find someone with whom I can speak in a poetic manner about science, arts, philosophy or simply life things. And somehow, I have always knew that I will encounter such a mind and such a soul. I had the intuition that maybe that special person would be older that me (as I get easily bored by the minds of men that are close to my age), but I have never imagined that I will attract and be attracted by a man that is 42 years older than me! He has helped me a lot in many ways and I cherrish him deeply. And he also says that I have influenced his life. I am not scared by his age. I love his soul. As I said, I have always dreamed of finding such a brilliant mind and wonderful heart. Now that I have finally found a rare pearl, I am not gonna reject it just because of biology. I can’t blame him for things that are beyond his will or powers. But I can’t tell him all these because I don’t want to push things and put any pressure on him. I want him to feel free and confortable with me. I don’t know how this relationship will evolve. I take things as they are. He has told me that “If we were much closer temporally, and if Hypocrates were much more favorable to me, I would have been there already, to listen to your words.” (Anyone else would have said something like : “Oh! Only if I were younger and healthier! I would have been already there beside you, courting you!”. But he said it like a man of Letters.) So, he is the one who is scared away by Time, not me. I forgot to mention – this is a long distance relationship. We have saw each other on webcam, talked on phone, but never met physically. Talking about physicall things, it’s weird, but I do feel physically attracted by him! I feel very much! And I know that this is all because of his mind not his looks! And, to make things even more weird, this situation is a singularity in my life and has no logic. Behold: I do admire great minds of other older men but I never ever ever have any sort of fantasy (you got the idea!) related to them or any kind of attraction. On the other hand, I’ve been dating a very smart young man of my age but never felt drawn towards him. When his parents came up with the idea that we should marry, I felt scared at the thought that I will have to be intimate with that boy. As much as I admired his intellectual and spiritual qualities, as much as I enjoyed his presence, I could not see in him more than a very good and close friend. His mind did not had a mesmerizing effect on me, and he wasn’t as independent as I am. And I love my liberty. But with this older man I can feel charmed and free in the same time. So, sort to speak, all the items on the list are marked. And this completness makes my senses react as they should react in front of perfection. The irony is that the perfection was born too earlier than I am. Fact that tends to spoil the roundness of the circle. I don’t know what to do. Or if I should do anything. I forgot to mention that this is a long distance relationship. We’ve met online. In fact, he searched for me and approached me first after reading some of my articles. That was almost 6 years ago. But we have started chatting and mailing eachother on a regular basis a year ago. So, maybe I should consider this relationship as being one year old. I like things as they are. But, who knows?! I am happy to fimd such a person. Knowing that he is alive and well is the only thing that matters to me right now.
    Sorry for my bad English – it’s not my native language!

  • Crystyana

    December 28th, 2015 at 3:54 PM

    I must say that this is not my first age gap story though. When I was 22 years old I met a brilliant man online. He was 46 years old. That would be an age gap of 24 years. A lot less than in my current story. But that first time was a shock for me. Anyway, I gave it a try as I was willing to see tehe good part . But it didn’t work. He was a heavy smoker while I am a fierce non-smoker as I think that we should not attack our body. And he also tried to seduce me while I don’t want to engage in premarital intimate relations. Besides of that, he was the one bringing the age subject into discution,which was rather annoying. He was convinced that our relationship will not work because of the age gap. A negativistic view. On the end, we broke up. But as far O am concerned , it wasn’t the age. It was because of different views and beliefs and lifestyles. Even years later , when I tried to make up with him, I thought that he would see in me a more mature person, a woman devoted to him who had 7 years to make up her mind. But instead of appreciating this, he has toldme that I am trying to find an excape from my personal problems. This statement was humiliating for me. My personal problems are my personal probems. They don’t dictate my love life. I I wanted an escape, I would have married a younger boy in my town and thus solve my financiar or familiar problems. But instead of doing such thing I have been waiting for a much older man who was living very far away. For the second time, he hasdisapointed me . Instead of finding a man I have found a grown up child with an astronomical ego. Thinking that your much younger love would wait for you 7 years and would cross the country just to use you as her escape, from her problems, is a fact that requires a very macho ego. And a feminist like me just can’t bare such thing! So , after a veey painful and prolonged agony, I have decided to consider him off, because I am not interested in educating a grown up child.
    I don’t consider that I have an isue with age gap relationships. I mean I am not inclined towards them. Before that first one, I had a huge crush on a boy of my age who was the smartest in the class. So, my “issue” is intelligence. In time, that boy become more superficial and that made me move on. Anyway, that first age gap relationship (which was very serious, by the way), had a huge effect on me. One of themost important of them is the fac that now O am at peace with the situation. I am no longer shocked. The first relationship took all the shock. Now I am no longer feared by the idea of sharing deep sentimenal thoughts with a much older person. Idon’t spend hours thinking : “Is this right?”. I know it is right and I take things as they are. O am prepared for anything.

  • kerry

    November 22nd, 2015 at 1:46 PM

    I am just wondering – “rational” – who are you addressing with this comment?

  • Jasmine

    November 23rd, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    @rational I find your comment to be very closed minded and ignorant! You sound like someone who may have not experienced the true meaning of love! Large age gaps can be hard to understand in which how/why people in different generations can have anything in common, but humans are so much more complex and to say that someone has mental issues if they connect with someone on a deep level who happens to be older/ younger is just ignorant. Granted I do think it is very wrong for older people to get involved with anyone that is underage because it is not only illegal but someone that young can’t possible know what they want if they cant even have a DL without any restrictions. I say if they aren’t old enough to grab a drink with you at the bar then perhaps you shouldn’t go there. I am 23 and my long term boyfriend is 46, even though he looks much younger. I am a RN and I met him while taking care of his grandmother, we had such a great connection from the start and our conversations were intellectually satisfying. When I first saw him I thought he could be no older than 31, but later he told me his real age. I was a bit shocked and thought there was no way it could go any further than just friends, but later as we spoke more it felt right. We took it very slow in the beginning not expecting much but our personalities brought us closer and souls inspired one another. I am a very strong, educated and independent 23 year old with a good head on my shoulders, I had a wonderful childhood and supportive family. I do not have any mental issues if anything I have my life more in order than any average 23 year old. Yes everyone is entitled to their own opinion but speaking without experience or at least considering another viewpoint and insulting others is just sad. Open your mind and be considerate!

  • kerry

    November 24th, 2015 at 12:41 AM

    Rational Ah. Now I understand. Your messages arrived in reverse order. quite funny. I appreciate your point!

  • kerry

    November 24th, 2015 at 11:58 AM

    (I lost my internet connection while posting a comment – will try again) Thanks Jasmine for your mature and well-balanced comment. Although I can see the humour in rational’s perspective, it is a very cynical take on love and relationships. I’d like to share something about someone who is very close to me, a man now in his 70s. When he was 17, he left home, went to another state, and stayed there, partly because he was in love with a 35 yr old woman. She was married with children and had no intention of leaving her husband for him. He did not want to cause any grief to the family, but could not cope with the situation he was in, so he went away. Speaking with him recently, he still speaks of her as a woman he truly loved, who inspired him and changed his life in mostly positive ways, although he remembers being very confused at the time. She passed away quite a few years ago, but he still speaks of her with great tenderness. I believe Jasmine is right – love trumps logic, and is much more beautiful.

  • kerry

    November 24th, 2015 at 12:06 PM

    When I first got together with my partner, he was 43 and I was 57. We’d already known each other as friends and neighbours for 2 years and I thought he knew how old I was. I’d certainly made no secret of it. Turns out, he hadn’t been paying attention. One day we were casually chatting and I mentioned being 57. He said, “57? I thought you were 47. You’re only 4 years older than me, aren’t you?” “No, 14!” I replied, and then asked, “Does it matter?”. He reflected on that for a minute, and then said, “No. Not at all”. I still laugh about it sometimes and get a buzz from the knowledge that he thought I was 10 years younger than I am.

  • Chanel

    November 26th, 2015 at 2:50 AM

    I’ve fallen for a man 28 years my senior. He has feelings for me too. We actually connect quite a bit and are comfortable with each other. However, we are both very logical people. Therefore, we sort of keep trying to live in denial and push each other away. That being said…I want to know, is it okay? Or are we right to just push each other away?

    (We are both over 18 by the way)

  • Fern

    December 1st, 2015 at 10:44 AM

    28 years between me and my partner… We love each other! Go for it!! Age shouldn’t stop you..if you treat each other right then screw everyone else! Love is love..you can’t switch of those feelings! Live life…you only get one! You love each other? Spend it together!

  • Chanel

    December 1st, 2015 at 8:40 PM

    Thank you :)

  • abby

    November 27th, 2015 at 10:14 AM

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. I’m 27 and he is 52. Everything about our relationship is great! The only negative thing is other peoples comments. I don’t let it bother me anymore. We are in love. I love him for him not his age. I’m not even sure why people get hung up on ages. Its just a number. Your age should not defy you as a person.

  • Nicole

    November 28th, 2015 at 9:20 PM

    I wish there was a support group for this. I’m in a situation where he is 25/yrs younger and even though he seems older and I seem younger, it is not enough. I didn’t seek this out. It just happened. We know the potential concerns but we just dont feel the difference when we are together. And a year later it is still a huge secret. I am really struggling and have noone to turn to. It is so nice to read about others in this situation. Is there an “easy button”somewhere?!

  • mary

    November 29th, 2015 at 7:30 AM

    Am 50 yrs in an intimate relationship with a 39 yr old guy married with 2 boys, my kids are grown ups and they are okay with us, peoples comment dont bother me, was lonely for 10 yrs after my husband passed on

  • Kerry

    November 29th, 2015 at 6:35 PM

    Nicole – I feel as if this site is my support group. When i first made a comment here, i was in such an anxious distressed state & knew I was driving myself nuts with my anxieties due to being 14 yrs older than my partner, even though our relationship is so good and he shows his love for me in so many ways. Since accessing this site, so much has fallen into place for me and I have now inner peace about our relationship. Thank you so much, to everyone who contributes.

  • Sophie

    November 30th, 2015 at 2:24 AM

    I have met this guy who is 24 years older, im just wondering how everyone else went with letting your parents know??

  • Fern

    December 1st, 2015 at 10:36 AM

    Hey Sophie, I met a guy 28 years older… We’ve kept it secret for so many months that in the end I just had to tell my parents. They were not happy. But everything takes time, at first it will be harder before it gets easier but because they’re family, they will come to terms with it! If you and your guy want to be then nothing they can do or say will change that! They are not going to want to loose you over it! Its not by any means easy but my mum spoke to my boyfriend and that helped clear the air…you should tell your parents because somewhere down the line, someone will notice you two are an item and I think your parents would rather hear it from you…good luck!

  • Carolina

    December 1st, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    I’m 21, and my boyfriend is 43. My parents don’t know how old he is, they think he is 27. I am so scared for my mom to find out about his real age because she’s somewhat of an extremist and she would freak. I really do love him though … And I want our lives to start already. I’m just scared …. And yes, I get a lot of “see a sugar baby” looks, but I’ve gotten better with it. I also don’t dress like a little girl, but more of a mature woman, that seems to help. I just hope I could get any advise… Should I still be with him?? Are we crazy here? 22 year difference people.

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    December 1st, 2015 at 4:10 PM

    Dear Carolina,

    Thank you for your comment. GoodTherapy.org is not qualified to offer professional advice, but a therapist or counselor may be able to offer support and help you explore these issues.

    You can locate one in your area by entering your ZIP code here:
    http://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

    Kind regards,

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

  • confusednconflicted

    December 1st, 2015 at 4:31 PM

    Hey, just wanted to talk about my experience a little.

    This is my first time dealing with an age gap this big. She’s 17 and I’m 24 (UK so age if consent is 16)

    I felt attracted to her the instant we met and I was really disappointed when I found out her age. I thought I’d leave it there and not pursue it because I didn’t want people being judgmental.

    Then we got to talking and we just clicked. The age gap is just forgotten as we delve into conversations about the deepest things to the most trivial. It’s early days and neither of us are seeking anything serious and sex may never become a factor (in large part due to my issue with the age gap) although both of us definitely want the other physically.

    Am I weird or wrong for pursuing this friendship?

  • Jos

    January 18th, 2016 at 7:05 AM

    I’m 22 and my bf is 17. He is very mature and blends in so well with us college youth. However once people find out his age, they react so strangely. Towards me as an older woman. However when a guy dates a younger girl it seems bad to the rest only in the sexual sense. If the woman is older they question her mentality and the sex. Luckily I believe in no sex before marriage, so tht issue is out the window, but I still have to deal with the other judgement. Just say u don’t believe in sex before marriage so people don’t judge. Or you can not care about what they have to say and follow your heart. You’re lucky that the only criticism you’re probably gonna get. Good luck!

  • Cassie

    December 2nd, 2015 at 1:55 AM

    Hey all! I’m so glad I stumbled across this forum- I’m a 23 year old girl and I’ve been going out with a man who’s 20 years older than I am for awhile now. I’ve always had kind of a thing for older guys but this is my first experience with a huge gap like that. We always have a lot of fun together when we go out, and the age difference never seems to be a real issue because we share tons of similar interests- my main concern at this point is where to go from here? The both of us have expressed our feelings for each other in a casual manner, and brushed them off because he and I both know that the situation is atypical. I feel that at this point in the “relationship”, we’ve shut down the idea of moving forward to something more serious, and have been trying to distance ourselves from each other, but it’s proving to be very difficult. I’ve started going on a few dates with another gentleman (more age-appropriate at 29), who seems better for me on paper, but I cannot seem to shake my interest in the older gentleman…none of my friends understand it or support it, but sometimes that’s just how it goes.

  • Valerie

    December 9th, 2015 at 5:27 PM

    I can relate to you Cassie. When I started giving myself distant and my partner did the same, we realized that we do want each other and started making plans. When I told him I was ready to leave the relationship because I’ve done all I can to prove to him this was okay, he picked up his slack and admitted to me why he was so hesitant. Turns out it was past experiences and me being so young (27, him 51) and him wanting me to live my “full life.”

  • Chris

    December 3rd, 2015 at 5:23 AM

    I am a 51 year old man involved with an 18 year old freshman in college. I am an attorney and have 3 kids, 11, 13 and 16. I am divorced. I have connected with this woman on an intellectual level and absolutely love her company and quite frankly am in love with her. My Father recently passed and he was the last living parent and the only family member in my city. We have discussed the issue of kids and I have told her that I don’t want kids. Her comment to that was “What if I don’t want kids”. She is mature for her age but of course is at an age and in a situation where she is going through typical college life. I think my life experience is a plus to the relationship and she seems to agree. I am unabashedly not attracted to woman my age and find that I have less in common with them than I do the 18 year old. I am not ready to retire. Not in the mood to “travel” and not in the mood to deal with a woman who comments that it is “her time” and ready to find the partner to spend the rest of her life with. I don’t have the desire to find my mate for the rest of my life at this point. Insight? I am going to take some heat over the relationship and have already lied to my children and ex-wife who are all ok with her as a 28 year old but I don’t know how they would react to her age being 18.

  • V

    January 7th, 2016 at 4:43 PM

    Sorry Chris….but age difference is too much of a gap…

  • Jaci

    January 9th, 2016 at 2:28 PM

    Chris– I was 20. My sister set me up on a date with a 52-year old man. My father was extremely annoyed with my sister. He was right . No reasonable future with such an age gap. I was too young. Nothing good came of it.

  • cuzitslove

    December 9th, 2015 at 9:59 AM

    Hi all,
    Might have something different for you. i have been dating my boyfriend since August. He is ten years older 25 and 35. He is in the middle of his second divorce. He has two daughters 1 is 18 and the other is 9. He had these children with two different woman. The 18 year old and him do not speak anymore. She lives on her own and does not speak to her mother either. The 9 year old is shared custody half and half. His first wife he married when he 22. She was 18 and cheated on him whilst he was deployed in the navy. The second wife and him become an unhappy after their 5th year of being married but stayed married recently she decided to leave him after 6 years. During the end was the beginning of us though we did not begin something physical till she decided to leave however they are still legally married. Both of us struggle with love and relationships. The big problem is he is my third cousin. …. Neither of us have ever felt this before. Our family is not speaking to us our mothers are talking to us our siblings are not. I am seeing a therapist. We both struggle with anxiety. Parents believe our feelings are misplaced. We do not. Everyone believes we are selfish and inconsiderate being together with our family being uncomfortable. We have not been around anyone to rub in their face nor do we speak about it. Some of my family members are talking to me to tell me he is not right for me. I do not see him in this light …. I just would like some advice I love my family but we did not plan or ask or expect this it just happened. Our family is close but him and I never were at all he was close to my mother being that they are closer in age. I just want see any day without him in it. I know it is not ideal but we love one another and it has been extremely crazy

  • Kerry

    December 10th, 2015 at 12:01 PM

    Dear cuzitslove, Your situation is very complex. It must be so painful! I think the 10 yr age difference between you is the least of your worries. The family situation must be so difficult for you. You say you want advice – I would feel out of my depth giving you advice! But I do know that if you love each other and want to be together in spite of all the opposition you’re facing – it seems like that’s just what you have to do. Be together. Be good to each other. Be patient with and respectful towards others, but stick together and make your relationship work. Maybe in time your family will see that you are happy, and accept that you are together. No one can live their life to please other people. Many people try to please everyone else but it only ends up with nobody being happy. It must be hard on the kids – but the 18 year old is an adult and no doubt has her own issues to contend with. The 9 year old will be depending on the adults in her life to truly be adults and give her the support she needs to continue to have a relationship with both her parents. Adults need to be mature and put kids’ needs high on their list of priorities. I believe kids can see straight through dishonesty and hypocrisy so if you have the opportunity to talk to the daughters openly and honestly – do that, without criticising anyone else. Try to make everything you do & say be guided by love. Make time to meditate and take good care of yourselves and each other. I feel for you and hope it all works out for you. I want to share – my older sister married her 3rd cousin. It was her 3rd marriage but his first. They met socially and later found out that they were cousins. In my family, everyone thought it was wonderful that they had both found happiness after having troubled lives. There was some concern about them having kids but they did have one; my sister already had 2 daughters from her 2nd marriage. The whole extended family supported them and was happy for them. If anyone disagreed they kept quiet about it. My sis and her husband have both passed away now. I share this because – families are so different. It’s painful when your family rejects you but not everyone will see the situation the way your family does. I hope there are some supportive people in your life. I wish you well and hope your family, or at least some of them, eventually accept you as a couple.

  • Caitlyn

    December 10th, 2015 at 10:01 PM

    I’m an 18 year old freshman in college, and my boyfriend is 57. We’ve been dating for six months, and we’re both happy and in love.

  • Eric H

    December 11th, 2015 at 7:32 AM

    Question. I am seperated and started dating a 22 year old woman while im 42. We get along great and enjoy doing things together, enjoy spending time together and love each other dearly. Everything is great except we have different views on relationships. She thinks she should be able to go out to the bars with male coworkers whenever she wants where i wouldnt go out with a group of females without her just because i think that would be disrespectful to her. She looks at it as as long as shes not physically cheating, there shouldnt be a problem with that. For me its all about respect and perception. Any suggestions?

  • Taylor

    December 16th, 2015 at 2:13 PM

    I’m in the odd position of being in a relationship with a girl 19 years younger than me. (I’m 39, she’s 20). It wasn’t at all intentional and who knows where it will go but I think it’s going to work. I’ll explain.

    I rent rooms in my house and this 20 year old applied. I thought she was cute. At the time I was dating 12 women, 11 of them casually but one of them more seriously. It was a party time summer. I ended up sleeping with her one night when we were partying.

    Shortly thereafter, I had sex with the girl I was seriously dating, and being very traditional she wanted to enter into a relationship with me. She’d make the perfect wife so I went for it and shut down all of the other girls I was dating.

    The roommate however was always there and sexually available, we made a sex scratch-eachothers-back deal because the girlfriend could only visit me one day a week and going from mad sex with 12 girls down to one night a week I needed release. We figured that the “arrangement” was cool because the age difference was too great and it would never really work between us anyway.

    We kind of took it too far. 6 nights a week this roommate was sleeping in my bed, we were having sex sometimes 6 times a day. It all seemed like jolly fun until one day I was sitting with my girlfriend in the backyard and the roommate started getting all upset, but wouldn’t say why.

    Our litter soirees were revealed to my girlfriend by another roommate and the sex roommate ended up losing her job and moved out. I ended up engaged to the girlfriend and she got pregnant.

    But the catch was me and this sex-roommate had become such great friends. We vowed to not have sex together anymore after I got engaged and especially after my now fiancee was pregnant.

    It never worked. Despite trying to keep it platonic one thing would lead to another. We wanted to hang out together almost every day, and we didn’t have sex every time we hung out. Eventually my fiancee didn’t want her around anymore, so we had to carefully organize our visits around my fiancee’s work schedule. Sometimes I’d disclose I was hanging out with her to the fiancee, but sometimes I didn’t because it was literally all the time.

    The sex-roommate started to get a bit miffed, because all this sex and feelings and hanging out together were mixing her up. She cut me off of the sex entirely and I obliged, but we still hung out together almost every day my fiancee wasn’t around.

    My finacee miscarried and I re-evaluated the relationship. Not only were me and the fiancee not very compatible (she was the perfect wife and we never fought, it was a bit boring – and there were some cultural issues as well). I made the decision to break the engagement and go for the former roommate.

    Now that we’re free and not sneaking around anymore, it’s been great. We’ve gone on dates, gone for walks, laughed, partied, she’s slept over. We meet up three times a day during the workday because we work close by and chat and kiss. We are texting all the time.

    Bear in mind the timeline – I first met this girl now 5 months ago. We’ve been crazy about each other through me getting a girlfriend, getting engaged, having my fiancee move in with me, my fiancee getting pregnant, having our cheating discovered, me going through a miscarriage, and a broken engagement and my breakup.

    So now we’re dating and it will probably be “official” pretty soon; I can’t see why not and she can’t either – we hang out practically every single day and never seem to get tired of each other.

    I just thought I would share that story for readers curious about large age differences and whether they can, should, or would work. I never went after her because she was 20, and my initial thought was that it would never work because of the age difference. I even got engaged to a 35 year old. But whatever we have has certainly endured, and looking back, I should have chosen this girl in the first place before I got so involved with the now former fiancee.

  • Kerry

    December 16th, 2015 at 11:52 PM

    Hi Taylor. Thank you for your story. It is very enlightening! I hope the happiness goes on & on for the two of you. I was in denial for ages – because of the age difference. I just dismissed the idea entirely. He laughed when I said I didn’t want to rush into anything – we’d been friends & next-door-neighbours for 2 yrs by then.

  • Taylor

    January 7th, 2016 at 6:29 AM

    Hi Kerry,

    Thanks for the response. We’re still going strong, but your post made me laugh.

    The girl I’m seeing said she wasn’t sure about going “official “.

    I told her : “we go on dates, cook together, cuddle together and watch tv, kiss eachother every morning, sleep together, have sex together, hang out together every day, text eachother whenever were apart, and can’t stand the idea of eachother being with someone else. You know what that stuff is? Boyfriend – girlfriend stuff. We are already in a relationship, and have been for a long time. Sounds like your the only one who didn’t get the memo that you have a boyfriend. ”

    She gave a long, long pause and eventually said, “Yeah. Your right. “

  • udm

    December 21st, 2015 at 5:10 AM

    Very good and interesting post! Many people should read it!

  • Audrey

    January 2nd, 2016 at 7:43 PM

    i’m having difficulties. i am involved with a guy 12 years my senior. And im going to be 18 this year(2016). I really want us to work out. But both of us are in different stages of our lives. im going to start college and he wants to settle down in 3 years(maybe). How we started out was just physical attraction i wont lie but eventually i develope feelings for him. And at that time i had a boyfriend(yes i am an asshole). But i came to realise that if i really loved my boyfriend i would not

  • Audrey

    January 2nd, 2016 at 8:01 PM

    Have cheated on him. i realised that i can be myself with this guy. But i came to find out he himself has a girlfriend. And he plans to breakup with her but… its just that. Are we just in it for the physical love? He had done tons of things for me. That just makes me happy even the most simple things. I am happy. But i guess all relationships or things like this must go through a boundary. I am going through it now. I am thinking really hard. That should i just let him go? He can cheat on me like how he cheated his gf. I could just do the same. What if its better that he settles down with his current gf then i am? I am not ready to just settle down. But i know i will be really sad when his gone. Its just its been so long since im really happy with someone. im lost. i usually can find my way out of relationship problems. Its just this one. Its just different. Its also a different experience. Im scared for our future. What if we regret our decisions. i didnt want this day to come. But it came. And i nvr thought this hard for someone.

  • Kerry

    January 4th, 2016 at 12:37 PM

    Hi Audrey. You seem to be on an emotional roller coaster & I wonder how you are feeling right now. I’m not in a position to advise you & can only comment on my own reactions to what you have written. One of the statements in your post that stand out to me is: “… I came to find out that he … has a girlfriend. And he plans to break up with her but….” Firstly – you “found out” after some time. He didn’t tell you? He plans to break up with her, but… but what?? I think you are right to question just how much this man does value you – or not. He does not seem to value his girlfriend. I imagine him “planning to break up with her…” and think, how cold and callous that sounds. Can’t help wondering, is he just saying that because he wants to keep you hanging on to him?? None of us can know the future but as you say yourself – you are about to start college. There will be lots of changes for you, lots of challenges, new freedoms and new challenges. You will have lots of things that you need to focus on. Perhaps it is a good time to let this man go, as you say. You don’t need to “burn your bridges” or have a big drama about it – you can say to him that you have made a very hard decision, based on what you think is best at the present time. If he has genuine feelings for you, he will respect your choice and realise that you are a woman with depth and character – someone who can’t be emotionally manipulated by promises and those “tons of things” he has done for you. But there is no way I can know how he will respond to whatever your decision is. I think you are wise to be asking the questions you ask and deeply pondering your situation. I hope it works out well for you. I hope you remain safe. It would be good to hear things go for you.

  • Jen

    January 6th, 2016 at 9:21 PM

    Would like advice.I have been in a relationship for 9 years with a man who is 18 years younger than me. We lived together for 7 and over the last 2 years lived apart and have been trying to “wean” ourselves off of each other because he wants children and I am too old for that.(46) With that said we still saw each other at least once a week. He told me a month ago that he is starting a relationship with someone new.(Beautiful young girl his age). I’m devastated.Yet feel like an idiot to be upset.I knew what I was getting into. Just so so hard.We had no issues except for the age thing. So be careful with your hearts ladies.

  • Jen

    January 6th, 2016 at 9:32 PM

    Oops.. lol. I’m 48. I always feel younger. ;)

  • marjorie

    January 13th, 2016 at 10:18 PM

    Hi ladies. This age difference has caused so many damages in most families.
    Yes love has no boundary people say that. I agree with that but its practical early days/stages of it. You can date for life time things going well as long as you do not go into a marriage contract. Everything will be flowing like rivers in the mountains. Because you will be having programed romantic meetings. There will be no time for serious family issues.
    When it comes to marriage so many things will start to arise. Issues of having kids. Issues of settling and budget will be analised every time. You start to face reality on each other’s weaknesses and bad habits etc. Because now you will be in one basket squizing each other daily. So because of that age gape each individual will start to feel cornered especialy the young one. He/she will start to compare life styles and even sex activities. Age defference affects so many thinrelas a relationship. No matter how much you may involved in such type of relationship be sure you are prepared for any type of outcome at the end besides discouragements from relatives.
    The flowers we see blooming in their seasons do not remain like that, they have their time to get dry, so thats how life works. You may want something unique in your life but at the end it may turn to be horrible and make u live a very misserable life.
    Young ladies i think its a better way to go for men within your generation you will not lose anything but gain more
    experience of life unlike to engange yourself to an old person who had gone through a lot which you will never know.rWhy would you love to be experimented on your body/removed virginity buy someone who have done it to so many women of his age and even to your mother’s age? Its like you lost your confidence. Yes those people will be so much more romance provider because of their experience but it does not mean they are doing the right thing to marry or date the age groups of their children. Becareful of what you want in life before its too let to make a decision. Experienced people are very good teachers. If your parent says know it means God has a strong messege to you so please take your time to pray for guidence.

  • Kerry

    January 7th, 2016 at 2:17 PM

    Dear Jen – my heart goes out to you. 9 years is a long time – a good chunk of your life. And his. You are NOT an idiot – please remember that. You have done a very unselfish thing to encourage him to follow his heart when it comes to having children. No doubt he has learned a great deal about life and love because of his relationship with you. He will be a better father and possibly a better husband because of his experiences in a harmonious relationship that did not end through conflict. Few people have experiences like that. I find myself wondering, what are you going to do now? I think that is what you need to focus on. Your life, now. I hope you are going to further wean yourself off seeing him. To continue to do so would be like salt in your wounds. If you always feel younger than you are, perhaps the relationship has done some positive things for you, too. With “no issues except for the age thing”, the two of you must have had a very special relationship. And now, you have a lot of life in you and ahead of you. At 48, believe it or not, you are still young. (If I were 48 I’d only be a year older than my man instead of 14!) My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you be strong and patient with yourself. Please don’t beat up on yourself in any way – you don’t deserve that!

  • Jaci

    January 9th, 2016 at 2:58 PM

    This forum has been very comforting. I have been having difficulty accepting and being comfortable with my attraction to a younger man. I was confused by his flirtatious attention, and still don’t know what to think. People seem to think I’m younger than I am–or, at least that’s what they say. He is 45 and I am 62. He makes me laugh, seem to have common interests, we chat for hours, and then I tell myself it makes no sense beyond friendship. I figure I must just be lonely, and need to get over this puzzling, unexpected attraction.

  • Tess

    January 10th, 2016 at 10:30 PM

    It’s nice to find an article that offers advice for relationships with bigger age differences. It’s also very encouraging to read all the comments with people who are in a relationship with someone much older or younger. I’ve been personally struggling because my family has been telling me that that “there’s something wrong” with me because I’m in love with a man 34 years older than me. I understand where they are coming from…It’s probably not what a mother dreams of for her only daughter. However, I can’t just give up on this man that I love. He does not act or look like his age at all. He makes me laugh like no one can and we both understand each other so well. The issue we face in our relationship is that our family not supporting/understanding our love. The other issue is that he’s 54 and has never had kids, but he wants to be married and have children. I’m 20 and in college and even though I want to be married and have kids one day, I can’t do that now. Has anyone had similar problems in their relationship like this? How did it work for you? Thanks

  • Jenny

    January 26th, 2016 at 5:26 AM

    Hiya hun I was having very similar dylema. I’ve being getting on very friendly with an older man. I’m 28 and he’s 48. So 20 years age gap. I’ve got to children to 2 different dad’s and just feel this time if I was with some 1 older they might be abit more mature and not act so childish. We are getting on really well only just met I’m concerned on what others think. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one that chosen an older man.

  • Kerry

    January 11th, 2016 at 6:14 PM

    Jaci – I felt very much like you in the early days of my relationship with my man. We were friends for a couple of years before we became a couple. He kind of grew on me! I was shocked when I realised how much I felt for him. I was so lonely when I began to hang out with him (43 at the time, while I was 57) & his friend (even younger) – I watched TV with them even though I don’t like TV much – I didn’t even have one myself – and even watched football – not my usual behaviour at all. One day, they invited me out fishing with them. I was amazed – why would two such young men invite a woman my age to go fishing with them?? But I love the beach – so I went. He began to come for walks with me. Now I know he doesn’t really like walking! All the time, he was showing me that he wanted me near him. When we got together, he was a month away from taking a job 1,000 Kms away. I was thinking, oh, well, this could be just a fling – also not my usual behaviour. He didn’t take the job. He stayed. That was 3 & a half years ago. I hope this story helps you come to terms in some way with your sudden unexpected attraction.

  • Kerry

    January 11th, 2016 at 6:25 PM

    Tess – your situation might be quite unusual, even amongst couples with a large age difference. I hope he will be prepared to wait a couple of years until you are ready to have kids. I wonder if he feels, because of HIS age, that he’d better have children sooner rather than later? The issue of kids and when, or no kids at all, is a big one for many couples, of all types and genders. Family support is really important when there are children involved. I hope you and your man are able to talk through all the complexities and create an outcome that suits you both. I think, being able to do that will be an indicator that you are right for each other and that the time is right for you as a couple. He will need to stay fit & healthy!

  • Morwenna

    January 13th, 2016 at 12:01 PM

    I need guidance more than anything – I’ve started getting on really well with a guy 13 years my senior, I’m 18 but I’m mature for my age, and he acts like a 24 year old, plays rugby etc. If we decide to start a relationship, how do I break it to my family?

  • Kerry

    January 14th, 2016 at 11:44 AM

    To Morwena – only you can really decide what to do and how to do it. Obviously your family’s response to your relationships matter a great deal to you. Is there anyone in your family with whom you can talk about your feelings for this man before you enter into a relationship? Do that might help you think through the issues that concern you. It seems you have not rushed into a “relationship” – you are wise not to do that. When it comes down to it, as an adult, you need to make your own decisions but you do want to make those decisions based on a realistic assessment of the entire situation, and to know what you are “getting yourself into”. There’s a big difference between getting on really well with someone and being in a relationship with that person. It sounds as if time is on your side – you could take a bit more time to get to know him, while he gets to know you. I’m wondering if the two of you have discussed going further with your friendship, or not?

  • Pogo

    January 15th, 2016 at 8:32 AM

    Phew, i had to scroll so long to get to this comment box. Lol. But that proved that there are many people in the same boat as me. Hi, i’m 21 yo girl and hve been dating a man who’s 27 years older. We hve been dating for 3 years and i love him so much. I’m a college girl and am doing preparation for studying abroad this March. And he’s my driving teacher. He never married and look younger than his age. At the start of the relationship i fall deeply in love with him because of his mature and protective nature and doesn’t go after physical affection only. I swear to myself i gonna marry this guy whatever happen. I’m blinded with love. Even now, after three years, my love doesn’t change, what changed is the thought that i’m gonna marry him. I’m going far from him for 2 years to further my study after this. By the time i’m back he’s going to be in his 50. Then i’m start doubting, should i continue this or not. The biggest problem for us is my family and our status diff. I dnt really care about it.but my family do. I tried so many time to leave, discuss with him about our future, but it never seems to work. We can’t be apart. I can’t even imagine to lose him and start all over with someone else. I hope i can forget him in the time i’m far from him. But sometimes i’m wondering is there any way i can be with him? Of course neglecting my parents and just marry him would be a choice, but i afraid i would regret it. Afterall, my family always first. Last week we agreed to end things up but like always, it doesnt work. I don’t know how to handle this. It’s too hard for me.

  • Tess

    January 15th, 2016 at 1:14 PM

    Kerry,
    Thank you for replying!
    We’ve had a bit of a discussion regarding the age difference and what our future together looks like. We haven’t come up with a solid plan moving forward, but I do realize it’s necessary. I have 2 years left in college, and until then we’ve decided to “let things be”. I’m hoping things will be a bit more clear once I’ve graduated and fully independent. However, like I mentioned earlier, he wants to have a family soon because of HIS age and he thinks his time is ticking. He is very active and healthy…maybe more so than me–Ha! It’s a tricky situation but I can’t imagine my life without him.

  • Student

    January 19th, 2016 at 12:18 PM

    I’m not entirely sure where this article was written but in Canada the law says “The Criminal Code does not now criminalize sexual activity with or between persons 14 or over unless it takes place in a relationship of trust or dependency, in which case sexual activity with persons over 14 but under 18 can constitute an offence…” Theres more if you want to read it. parl.gc.ca/Content/LOP/researchpublications/prb993-e.htm We are also learning about it in class!

  • Alexis

    January 22nd, 2016 at 5:07 PM

    I kind of need advice. I’ve already received a vast amount of negativity towards the concept, but I recently met this guy. He’s a complete young soul, he’s sweet, and he has a job and is about to go to the college I am going too. A bump in the grocery store that he works at suddenly started a 20 minute conversation! He gave me his number to text tonight. I’m currently 16 and I turn 17 this upcoming March, while he told me he is 24. My aunt and sister were so excited that I finally found someone that molded with me so great in conversation but as soon as my aunt heard his age, she flipped! My sister, however, doesn’t see that it’s a big deal if we are just friends, which we are at the moment. Is this too big of an age difference? (7 years). I graduated high school early last year and go to college and I have a job as well and I do not live with my parents, but my grandparents by choice.

  • David

    January 26th, 2016 at 9:42 AM

    Hi Dee,
    Lots of people grown up think they definitely do better than their own parents without listening to their honest advice or look at moral issue, end up they are just repeat exactly what their parent’s mistakes over decades. Your belove partner acting and feeling young just for you how come he NEVER found someone his own age? His mentally developmental delay far worst than Autistic children that only maturity match to your own age? Are you looking for love from ‘father figure’? What exactly are you trying to ‘prove’ to everyone around you by doing something differ?
    All the best to whatever you try to achieve but don’t forget every coin has 2 sides. 👶🏻🕵

  • kate

    February 2nd, 2016 at 9:40 PM

    I am 18 and am in a relationship witha 46 year old man. And we love each other very much. He is very affectionate and caring he is also very posessive and protective of me. We have been together 1 year now, and he wants me to be with him, we live states apart, he wants to meet here before then and in public we have skyped though. He also is ok with hia family knowing. Me not so much I am terrified how they will react.

  • marjorie

    February 3rd, 2016 at 11:36 AM

    Dear young ladies.
    Age defferents matters profoundly.
    No matter how much you are in love with someone who is much much much older than you guys, you have to prepare yourself for a heartbrake one day. Imagine your time wasted by someone who does not even care because to him with his experience in experimenting its like drinking a cup of tea.
    So please girls avoid to push away your parents who loves you unconditionally because of these men. Why are they single to that age? Why are they running away to face ladies/women of their age group?
    You girls are being used. Why are you allowing such things happening to you? You are totaly rejecting yourself by giving your body to these old men who so selfish and selfcentred. Why do you allow to be tought old tricks by these old men. Do not have sex with a man while you are under age and not married, it will mislead you forever. You will start to avoid close people who profoundly cares for you. Especially your parents, avoid to complicate your family life with simple things you can live without till the right time comes.

  • 37 year age gap-Unrelatable?

    February 23rd, 2016 at 9:25 AM

    Hi, I’m a 25 year old woman seeing a 62 year old man. He’s very attractive, smart, sweet, funny, and a just wonderful. We get along great, but we do many moments where we can’t relate well because of our age gap. He is very much into music, movies, and pop culture and his references to older shows/actresses/(anything, really) leave me shrugging my shoulders. I rarely ever have any idea what he’s talking about and, while he’s happy to explain, I feel it must get tiring to have to re-tell details of his generation to me. Vice versa, if I mention something in my own generation, he’s often left scratching his head in utter confusion. We spend most of our time “teaching” each other the culture and core things that have influenced our lives. I love learning about him, especially his childhood and his life when he was my age, but our generational differences make “normal” conversation difficult. We’d be on a roll with laughing and talking, but when he or I mention a person/event/movie the other person doesn’t know, the conversation’s rhythm is jarred. Whenever we hang out with his friends (who are also much older than me), they converse so easily with each other, an easiness I wish he and I shared.

  • Kerry

    March 2nd, 2016 at 12:09 PM

    It sounds to me that you need to accept your relationship as it is and enjoy what you have. Accept your moments of “disconnect” as part of the parcel. Nothing can make your relationship with him the same as his relationship with others. Moments of complete lack of comprehension can happen for reasons other than age – such as differences in education, culture, interests and experience. For instance, when my partner (who is 14 yrs younger than me) is talking with his mate about how a car performs or a motor functions, I might as well not be there. They actually get excited about such things! He’s really into sport, as well, whereas I couldn’t care less. Sometimes I think the age gap is not our main problem! But we are together because we love each other. A lot of people think “compatibility” depends on sameness, and look for a partner who thinks like them, agrees with them and is interested in all the same things. My experience has taught me that thinking like that is a very narrow way to think, limiting and short-sighted. Love transcends and overcomes difference. It’s no challenge to unconditionally accept someone who is almost exactly like you! Admittedly, 37 yrs is a huge age gap but it sounds to me that you both are doing really well to bridge the gap. Don’t give up because of fleeting frustrations. Look at the big picture.

  • Tianna

    April 9th, 2016 at 11:02 PM

    I’m a lesbian, 20 and I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 6 months it’s long distance so when we do meet up we just spend time together, she’s turning 21 in June or at least that’s what I thought. She told me yesterday she is actually 16 and is turning 17 in June, I broke up with her that same day, I need advice and help because I know I’m heart broken at the moment but I see where she was coming from I would never have given her a chance if I knew her age and we’ve had so much fun before I knew this. Anyway I need help, should I stay broken up with her because of her age or try and look past it?! My mum was there when I found out and saw my break down, she now hates her and has told me to delete her from my life but it’s not that easy. I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m in my second year of university and shes in college.

  • Chris

    April 13th, 2016 at 4:21 AM

    I have a crush on someone at work. I’m 63 and she’s 25 and we have short regular talks. We have a lot in common and she has many of the characteristics that I desire in a partner, and I cant stop thinking about her. I’m the one trying to develop a relationship and it’ painful. I need regular feedback, so I suggested we support each other in good times and bad times. If we cannot develop a romantic relationship I’m hoping we can develop a caring and loving friendship. This is an emotional roller coaster.

  • Tyler

    April 19th, 2016 at 2:10 PM

    Reading all of these comments have really made me reflect on my past relationships and realize that I have dated a man 16 years older than me before. I am currently in the beginning stages of a relationship with a man 17 years older than me. I am 24 and he is 41. We seem the meld really well.. So I am optimistic. What made me realize I had dated someone 16 years older than me was an off and on relationship I had with a guy about 3 years ago. When I met him it was instant fireworks.. But we worked together so I held off. Fast forward 3 months later and the place we were working shuts down resulting in all employees being laid off. So he asks me out and I accepted. While on the date I asked his age and he says 32 which was fine with me at the time. We continued to date off and on for about a year. Now here’s the kicker… During one random conversation he slips up and tells me his REAL age… 38. I was pissed that he lied so I broke it off immediately after.

  • Tom

    April 22nd, 2016 at 3:58 AM

    Tianna, i met my girlfrienf over 4 years ago, when she was 30 and i was 56 something that i explained right off. Our age difference has never been an issue except she finds it hard to tell her parents exactly what my age is (which is about the same as both of them). Neither of them ever enquire.. apparently just being happy that she is content. My daughter, her children and my family all know and also say it is not important and they are happy that i am.
    I feel all relationships work if both ‘try’ to be open and honest. It strikes me it is more the fact that she lied about her age more than the actual age difference that has hurt you. My girlfriend and i split for 6 months over a trust issue but eventually reconciled because we missed each other. We have talked about the future in relationship to my health but nothing is as clear cut as it seems…i come from a family who are pretty long lived (e.g. my mother, who lived alone, died after falling downstairs when she was 93). I have been vegetarian since 18, exercise regularly and look much younger than my years. My girlfriend on the other hand has her own health issues having been diagnosed with Crohn’s 3 years ago plus on her fathers side most have not lived much past 65.
    I hope it works out for you and all here.

  • pilot

    May 1st, 2016 at 11:00 AM

    I am retired 67 years old. My wife is mentally ill and in a mental institution and I visit her twice a week and take care of her. Sometime ago I met a young lady 29 years my junior and married, We fell in love I told her the truth that I could never marry her. She accepted. She is in finance makes over 100 M /year. One day I asked her why she maintains a relationship with me. She is young very good looking, she could easily find someone else. She told me because I am a gentlemen, kind, and gentle. I open the car door for her to get in, wait for her to order first , ask her what she likes . I am the opposite of her husband. Sometimes she travels on business to Europe or South America and I get a discount ticket since I am a retired airline pilot and meet her wherever she is.
    . Even Though her husband husband is very active in bed she told me that our sex life is much more satisfying, because I am gentle and care for her needs before I take care of mine. I do not know how long it will last but the last but the last five years have been great.
    One day we spent some time together in Europe and I told her I was going out to run and came back to the room with flowers and had breakfast delivered to the room. She cried. She told me that she always wanted that, and was a big surprise.
    She told me that she no longer cares to have sex to her husband, our lovemaking is far superior. He doesn’t respect her feelings..

  • pilot

    May 2nd, 2016 at 5:02 AM

    I saw several persons in great relationship with an older women. I just recall the present French minister of Finance came from a well to do family, and fell in love with his high school teacher 20 years older. He was 16 and she was 36 married and had 3 kids, When he was 19 he married her and they are still happily married 20 years after. I remember when I was going to school at Cal Hayward
    I dated a professor that was 42 year old and I was 24, she was nice. We went diving camping had great conversations about everything. It lasted 3 years. So here I was with a much older woman and now I am with a much younger one(see previous one). In the end what is important in a relationship is someone that makes both partners mutually happy, someone to have great conversations, and above all a person who is interesting. A boring person can be great in bed but after a while becomes a meaningless relationship. I do not know how long my present relationship with a much younger lady will last, but nothing is forever.
    I prefer a great relationship that eventually will come to an end and I will have great memories to remember than mediocre relationships that lasts forever

  • chris

    May 2nd, 2016 at 5:23 AM

    I’ve been married to a woman 15 years younger than me for almost 5 years. It’s my second marriage and her first. I’ve never been happier and age has little to do with it on my behalf, we are absolutely made for each other. Perhaps it’s my younger approach on life (for my age) and her more conservative approach that makes us so well matched. For us there is an obvious dynamic that flows through our relationship. I definitely am a “daddy” figure of sorts, leading, protecting, loving, but this is something that was not forced, but something we fell into naturally. She wants me to be the leader of our house, but I take that role very seriously in which it makes me a better man for her. My first marriage was more of a typical modern marriage, so this is something completely new.

  • Cassandra

    May 7th, 2016 at 8:29 PM

    Falling in love and dealing with those who criticize your age difference is the easy part. Financial and physical issues which we did not anticipate (my husband is 12 years older) include: deciding whether to retire at 55 so he could enjoy his retirement, and learning that both our pensions are thus significantly diminished by the difference in our ages; that I would be ineligible to collect his social security until I turned 62 if something should happen during that time; paying increasing health insurance premiums for me for 12 years although he’s on Medicare and we’re on a fixed income. The gap between our physical capabilities is rapidly growing — I’m have for several years been hiking, walking, dancing, etc. alone; there are numerous activities about which he is quickly losing interest, and we are often seeking medical attention as we advance in years. I fear I will survive him without sufficient means. I love him wholeheartedly, but I do believe these things should be carefully considered when determining your future. There are surely good prospects for a partner of any age.

  • Dave

    May 12th, 2016 at 7:20 AM

    I married a girl 15 years younger. It was my second marriage as well as her second marriage. I had two kids from my previous marriage and she did as well. We blended well and had the normal ups and downs of any marriage. I was madly in love with her and still am madly in love with her. However, over our 13 years of marriage, she was increasingly restless with her sexuality and finally came out as gay. At first I was devastated (but not really surprised) but accepted her as she is. We eventually divorced and she moved in with her partner. Even so, we still maintain a great friendship and still get together for dinners and family events. The age thing never was an issue with me. Although, I will admit I wasn’t a fan of her taste in music and she wasn’t in mine. She was young, energetic, fun, loving, cute, sexy. I adored her with everything I had. I treated her like a queen, cared for her when she was sick and brought her breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day. She cared for me and gave me everything I ever wanted emotionally, sexually, physically. I miss the long tandem bike rides we took, the hikes through the mountains, the long drives to the beach. I miss talking to her about the work day and I miss listening to her talk about her work day. Anyways … the age difference was never an issue between us. For me, her youth and energy gave me youth and energy. I would still be married to her and still falling even deeper in love with her every day if our sexuality wasn’t so different.

  • Janet

    May 25th, 2016 at 7:47 AM

    Hey guys this is a very interesting forum I have read like every comment n am happy to know am not alone, am 23 years old and my bf is 49 we have dated for almost 2 yrs n we are so inlove though we meet after like 6 months since we are in different countries. My family is okay with it. We are planning to get married this December I hope all works out. I just want to say age is just a number n I don’t mind what people say what matters is my happiness.

  • kerry

    May 26th, 2016 at 1:43 PM

    Yes – this is a great forum and has helped me a lot. My relationship with my man who is 14 yrs younger than me, is still going strong after almost 4 yrs but when I first went online here, I was going crazy with anxiety as I found it so hard to believe he could find me attractive. I was worried about the changes that age causes in the body & psyche but now I know it is possible for someone to be totally genuine, to love me for the person that I am, and to just make allowances for my “imperfections” – as I do for him. but for some reason, I thought me being 14 yrs older changed all that and made me less loveable. It is wonderful to realise I am not alone, as so many of us say, and to have a window on all the varied, rich and enriching lives and relationships that happen when people step outside the boundaries of what is expected. My heart goes out to those who suffer with anxiety and rejection because of their relationships. I hope this forum helps you. I rejoice with those who have found true love with someone that society says is to young or too old and/or enjoyed the roller-coaster experience of a relationship that is just “out of the box”. Thank you!

  • Huffy

    June 4th, 2016 at 7:28 AM

    Hii..well..i am 20 year Old woman and in relationship with a 38 year old man… but i just feel it really perfect.. only thing is he is a teacher in my college and ofcourse my friends and classmates will always think this in a negative way … hence i have not told anyone yet… but will when i will be in my internship year.. the age doesn’t really matter … whenever i am with him … i dont feel the teacher student thing.. he is such a different person n is so lovely.. its been just one and a half months only.. but its really a great experience… i love him to the core and he does it too… i am really happy to find couples like us… n to read their beautiful stories… Lovely…<3

  • The King of hearts

    June 23rd, 2016 at 2:51 PM

    Hi :) I am in the most amazing relationship I have ever felt in my life. I am 56 and she is 41, both of us have been married before too. At first I was worried about our age difference, but we get long so well on every level imaginable. When we are together the whole world stops for us. We truly are each others soul mates, and bring out the absolute best in each other. She is my best friend, my lover, the only one that matters to me. The generation thing is not an issue at all. Last week we were listening to music, and made it into a game trying to guess when a song came out. I love her with all my heart, we plan on being married even though both of us didn’t think we ever would again. The only real issue I see is that I most likely will leave this world before her, my beautiful Queen of hearts. But then again we have lots of time to build a really nice life together. I have already heard some of the nasty comments about her being too young. But you know what, that’s no ones business but ours. True love does not require similar ages. It is what you feel in your heart and soul, and God made our souls for each other and then set us on a path to find each other. It is truly a blessing to be in love, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you truly love each other it is the most beautiful thing in the world. God bless all of you that are brave enough to ignore what we’ve been wrongly taught. Enjoy your life with the one you love.

  • Sophie L

    June 25th, 2016 at 11:26 PM

    I was married to a man 17 yrs older than me. Everything was perfect. We got two kids. They are grown up now and we got divorced a few years ago. He’s got a girlfriend who is 30 years younger than him. My heart is beating for a wonderful man who could be my son. I can’t stop thinking about him. Should I run before it’s too late? Don’t want to break my heart again. I’m 46 and he’s 24.

  • Kerry

    June 28th, 2016 at 1:04 AM

    This website must be huge. I can’t find the post I was going to reply to. A man in a relationship with an older woman said it must be good communication and… something else… that made their relationship work… I think the bottom line is Love – you just good old fashioned love each other & communication becomes good – as good as it can get, anyway. You keep on putting up with each other, be there for each other, support each other & have fun together. It’s sometimes an effort but you keep doing it because… you love him/her.

  • Goof

    July 20th, 2016 at 11:15 AM

    I was seeing a woman 22 years younger than me (she is 31, me 53). We are highly compatible in every way, the age gap being the only significant issue. She worries about what her mother and friends might think, hence we recently decided to try some time apart.
    I am truly miserable, miss her terribly (as she does me I am sure) and dearly wish we work it out.
    All the very best to all of you have succeeded in ‘age gap’ relationships. You must truly love each other.

  • Kerry

    September 5th, 2016 at 1:42 PM

    Dear Not Convinced: this is a very worrying and sad situation. It must be causing you a lot of grief to see your son in this light. There is really nothing you can do to change anything. He is responsible for his own decisions, as the woman he is living with is also responsible for hers – until the point that, if she develops a dementia or becomes ill again, she will not be fully responsible & your son might need to step up & make some decisions on his own behalf if not on hers. Makes me very sad to read this. I hope there will be a positive outcome.

  • Kerry

    September 5th, 2016 at 2:08 PM

    To Goof: The pressure to be accepted and approved of by others can be very strong. Although our families, friends and even work colleagues, have always been supportive of (even impressed by) our relationship, I felt kind of ridiculous, thinking people would see me as sad & pathetic for attaching myself to someone young enough to be my son (14 yrs age difference). My partner and I have been together for 4 years now. He genuinely has never cared what other people thought – he tends to not care what other people think, full stop. I only really became comfortable enough with the age difference after accessing this site and reading about others’ situations. My partner is a very open & friendly person who relates well to people of all ages. Although he comes across as a happy-go-lucky type, I think he sees more deeply into people than most – he seems to relate to the “core” of people, not letting superficial things such as age, influence him. But I admit to not being like that. I worry sometimes about what will happen when I am a few years older (I’m almost 62 now) & begin to slow down & really show my age. But he says, “I love you for the person that you are. Age has nothing to do with it.” I still say, we’ll see what happens! Does the woman you love access this site? It might help her. I hope things work out for you. True love tends not to go away. It is very sad if you are both suffering for your decision to have time apart. Life is too short to live in misery. I wish you both well. I hope she can overcome her qualms & perhaps find her family & friends are more supportive than she thinks. All the best.

  • Not Convinced

    September 5th, 2016 at 12:37 AM

    I have a 38 yr old stepson who has been living with a 76 yr old woman for 5 yrs now. He’s a person of questionable character to me. He’s Always had a problem with drug use. Stole prescriptions from our home, and walked away from a lease his father signed for, yea, and sticks his dad for over $500, without as much as a I’m sorry. He has no interest in finding a job, and does odd jobs. He just lives off this woman and spends a lot of
    time at our local casino, I assume spending her retirement
    money. To me it looks like living with mom and letting her support him. When she became ill and spent time in the hospital, and brief stay at nursing home, he refused to leave the apartment they rented and was kicked out on the street. I will NOT have him in my home, nor will his mothers husband allow it. I am fearful when she dies he will send the family into a terrible turmoil as he did before. He will have no job or place

  • Sara

    September 10th, 2016 at 12:37 AM

    So I’m 20 years old and in my previous relationship, my boyfriend was 10 years older. Now I’ve always been considered mature for my age and an old soul so I usually seek men who are at least for years older (because most men my age are still boys). Our relationship was amazing. I’ve never had anyone relate to me so well and understand who I am as a person. We never had any differences based off the generational gap but we did have one obstacle that resulted in our separation. Being 20 years old and barely starting my life, I’m in the process of learning about myself, figuring out what I really want, learning and gaining experiences along the way to prepare me for REAL adulthood (which Is what your 20’s should be). But my partner at the time already experienced my era, knew what he wanted in life and ultimately our goals did not match up. He wanted a wife and kids (like ASAP) and I obviously was not ready for that. Its been a year since our separation and I’m still sore, however I’ve been making an effort to move on. I recently started dating and I find myself almost in the same predicament. My current boyfriend is 14 years older than me but doesn’t want a wife or kids since he has already experienced both. The obstacle I find myself in now Is being scared to introduce him to my family. I’ve always wanted a partner that I could introduce to my family and eventually have him be apart of that aspect in my life. But I realized even if it is considered taboo and unacceptable to my family or society, I should not let other opinions dictate my happiness. I know my family loves me very much and it may be a difficult situation for them to accept, but they will still love at the end of the day and that is all that matters. Some are not blessed like I have been, but If you are truly happy in your relationship regardless of the age, religion, race, sex etc. and your family or society does not except it then so be it. You are the only one who lives your life from beginning to end, no one else, so make sure you put yourself first and don’t jeopardize your happiness for others.

    “Don’t worry if someone does not like you. Most people are struggling to like themselves.” -Unknown

  • Kerry

    October 7th, 2016 at 3:21 PM

    Thank you Sara. Wise & encouraging words

  • DEE

    October 10th, 2016 at 12:43 PM

    I am 68 years old and about to marry the love of my life who is 40. We share a lot in common and we have had the talk about our ages and and he doesn’t seem to mind at all. His mom loves me because she knows I am in love with her son and only want the best for him . I don’t have money or riches and neither does he we will live good together because we care for each other. I do have issues with the age but he has done all to dispel those .

  • Insecure Girlfriend

    October 22nd, 2016 at 9:06 AM

    i have 24 years age gap with my boyfriend.. do you think we can go through this? i sometimes feel that he doesn’t want me anymore. (Sobbing)

  • Sue

    October 23rd, 2016 at 8:37 PM

    When you meet someone you should focus on the personality and compatibility of the person with who you are. who cares what society thinks. My bf is 15 years younger than me and does not want kids. I already have 2 young adults. We have many similar interests and if the concept of soul mates existed we would be it. Life is too short . Enjoy it and stop worrying about what your neighbors ot friends think. Most of them are jelous because you are happy and they are not.

  • chitra

    November 11th, 2016 at 2:39 AM

    Hi, i am 34 , I like someone whose age i guess is between 40-45 and he is my senior,,,,, but i am unable to tell him my feelings. I am scared if we get to know that i like him, he will stop talking to me. i am very confused but cant resist without talking to him ( though its only once a month over phone )

  • C.A

    December 5th, 2016 at 10:26 AM

    Hi, I wanted to comment on this post because I am in a situation which is confusing me a little and I am pretty scared about the way I am feeling because I do not want to disturb anyone! But a gentleman has been a good friend to me (its a work thing – he has to do it) but because he has been so nice and so mature I have started to grow some kind of feelings for him. I read this article and wanted to comment just to say I am in my mid 20’s and the man I am talking about is very many years older, but many people frown upon this kind of thing. Many women out there tend to use older men for their money ect. and it disgusts me! We are not all like that, in fact I would love to spoil my man rather than always be spoilt and I am kind natured however I grew up very young because I had no choice and I think that is the reason I have such an interest in this person. I feel that it may also be because he has helped me so much. It has upset me that I have randomly felt this way because I feel it is wrong but this article should give those people out there who are trying a relationship with an age gap. Good luck to you all, sometimes we really cannot help who our heart beats for even if that person doesn’t know how we feel in case they think it is wrong. Good luck to anyone who is trying for this type of relationship, be happy and smile.

  • Hallelujah Joy

    December 21st, 2016 at 1:55 PM

    C.A….. If you and this man are interested in each other, why not pursue it?

  • Hallelujah Joy

    December 21st, 2016 at 1:49 PM

    I am a 55 year old woman, and I was on this streaming app, broadcasting myself. This 18 year old guy, Bob, asked me to be friends with him. I became friends with him initially as he was friends with this other guy(Jim) that I was having a problem with, and I asked Bob if he would relay a message to Jim for me. He agreed and I ended up talking to Bob just a little bit over a period of about a week or so. One day he said to me that he wished that I would see him more as a guy of at least 38, instead of 18. To me, that was one of the MOST ROMANTIC things I had heard in my ENTIRE life. So, against reason, and future disapproval, I consented to a “relationship”. For his age, he comes across as remarkably mature, and he is REALLY respectful and conscientious for a guy SOO young.

    WHAT does everyone think?

  • JH

    February 20th, 2017 at 5:23 PM

    Read through so many comments with stories of couples with great relationships! So happy for you all.

    I am just under 21 and my boyfriend is 57 and we absolutely love each other. We are from different continents, different cultures, and different generations but we always find a way to make it work. When we met, I was working a summer job and he was just standing back up from a low point in his life. There is not a day where we see each other that we can keep hands off of one another. We love all the small things about each other: We find comfort in each other’s touch, in our conversations, we love our personalities as we are so much alike. I am a bit of an old soul and he is absolutely young at heart, and often when he tells people his age everyone says he only looks about 35. In fact, I am the one that needs to keep up with him as he finds all this energy to do everything. He is an absolute gentleman and we have so much of trust and respect in each other. We have not told family members of our relationship yet, but we have told some friends and they all support us because they look past the materialism. He says now that since I have entered his life, I push him and motivate him to do better and get himself out of this rut he ended up in. We get looks sometimes when we go out, but it’s not so much about the gap but more because he is black and I am asian (you don’t see that combination too often).

    My advice to anyone who is doubting a relationship like this — don’t hold back! It doesn’t matter what other people think, in the end, this is your life and you should have the right to choose who you want to be happy with. It is better to have experienced love than to never have loved at all. We both had doubts at first too but we took the chance and now we are happy as ever together. Life is too short to worry about what other people think – If you are happy with your other half, then that’s all that matters and you have discovered the greatest thing anyone can ever experience.

  • Tapped

    February 21st, 2017 at 5:36 PM

    I would like to say that love comes and goes. It is up to the two persons to make it or NOT. I am married to a beautiful women that is 40 years younger then I. I am what u call a person that just has the basic things in life. She married me for just being me. We have been married for 3 plus years now and had been dating for little more then a year before we got married. I must say that it has its up and downs do to the age. It took us about two years to come to some kind of understanding. We are growing each day in the lord and with out him we would not be making it the way two lovers need to do. I want u to know if I had wanted to do this again I would have done with a heart beat. Love comes from with in not what is under the sheets. It helps lots both ways but when u are a little older it takes time to do the things others may do. I am in my 75 plus and she is just turning 30. She will be finishing her masters next year. I had not been married for over 30 years and never say never to falling in love with a person in life. When the right ones comes along and u know the lord has done his blessing to both of u it makes love come true to each other. I need to say that u will experience many people that are jealous of u and u may think that it is do to the age. It is not most of the time it is do to who he is and who u are. Many ask me dumb things as u may have experienced. I always let them know that when u have the lord in u life u will be blessed in many ways. Mine happens to be a wife that loves her husband and I love her. I am what u call a poor old man with a billion dollar wife which no one can put a price on love. I wish u all the happiness in the world but just stay in love the way it started out. God Bless and pray that u will have many happy years.
    Tapped

  • Alison

    March 19th, 2017 at 5:39 AM

    I met my Husband when I was 17 he was 32 we have been together 40 years 2 children now I’m 57 he’s 72 we have been happy only the last couple of years since he has retired things are a lot different he is like an old person now where I’m not only now I feel the difference but we have had a happy life it’s just harder for me now

  • The King of Hearts

    March 20th, 2017 at 6:00 PM

    40 years is a very long time together. If you’ve both been happy together perhaps it’s retirement that is not agreeing with things. It’s a major change of life, not just for him but for you too. I’ve seen people change when they retire, often it’s not for the best either. Are you retired as well? The best advice I could give is to take the change and adapt to it. 40 years together tells me you two are soulmates, you made it that far now keep going!!! I met my fiance last year, Im 57 she is 42. It scares me a little knowing 70 is right around the corner. Only time will tell but she is my soulmate so…

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