The Biology of Calm: How Downregulation Promotes Well-Being

Athletic person sits on bench with hands behind head and looks out over city and lakeIn my therapy practice, I dedicate considerable time to helping people understand what’s happening deep inside of them, in the layers of the nervous system where the conscious mind blurs into the unconscious. This is the part of us that some therapists call the “bodymind.” Understanding the communication of the bodymind creates the ability to “talk” with our inner self: to understand what it is trying to tell us, and even to work with it in its own “language.” It is my experience that the bridging of this gap is ultimately what eliminates most symptoms.

My previous article on self-regulation explains that most symptoms that bring people to therapy are the result of, or strongly related to, difficulties in maintaining this biological balance. It’s important to be aware of this underlying process. After all, we can’t manage things if we’re not aware of them!

This article expands on our understanding of self-regulation. It’s about developing our capacity to be calm, aware, and present, even in stressful situations. For those who have genuinely struggled with this despite repeated and intense efforts, it’s time to stop blaming yourself. As it turns out, this capacity is largely biological. And although we often forget this, biology is the platform upon which social and emotional interactions play out.

Self-regulation of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) can essentially be broken down into two opposing functions: it goes up or it goes down!

In a car, we can press the gas pedal to access more energy, or the brake pedal to slow down or stop. Similarly, the ANS has two parts, or branches: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which makes us go up into greater arousal, and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which helps us come down into calmer, less aroused states.

Upregulation means there’s more firing of nerve cells (neurons) along a nerve pathway. So, upregulation of the SNS refers to when this “going up” branch of the nervous system is more active. This “pressing of the gas pedal” increases the amount of energy available in the body. This is why the SNS is often referred to as the “fight-or-flight” nervous system, although it can also upregulate in pleasant situations requiring more energy.

Its opposite, and the focus of this article, is downregulation. Sympathetic downregulation brings down the charge along the pathways of the SNS. At the same time, the PNS upregulates, which helps the SNS downregulate. (We will examine the important exception to this general rule in a future article.)

Both upregulation and downregulation of the SNS are biological processes that we can feel and experience happening within us. Recently, a woman I work with in therapy was able to describe the involuntary muscular tensions, unpleasant pangs, and fluttering sensations of her anxiety (upregulation). She also described the wonderful (downregulation) sensations of her body finally letting go into blissful sleep when she settles down in bed at night.

As most of us can intuit, SNS upregulation can feel terrible when it’s a response to something stressful happening. However, SNS upregulation can also feel great when it’s in response to something fun or exciting: our team scoring a touchdown, or dancing when our favorite song comes on. In contrast, SNS downregulation almost always feels soothing, calming, or relaxing.

I am focusing on SNS downregulation because it’s incompatible with states of anxiety, rage, or stress. Additionally, SNS downregulation keeps the SNS in check, so that it doesn’t “overshoot” and produce too much stress to effectively cope with a problem.

So, then, how do we encourage SNS downregulation? How do we help the body settle down into a state in which it can rest, digest, and repair? For that matter, how do we know when we’re in a downregulated state?

Well, here’s the catch. Downregulating the stress response is an acquired capacity. It’s like a muscle: you have to build it over time in order for it to be strong.

Although infants are born with the capacity for stress response (fussing, crying, etc.), their parasympathetic pathways, which help downregulate the SNS stress response, are not online at birth. This means babies can go up, but they can’t come down on their own. (They will go into a “freeze” state if ignored long enough; this looks calm, but it really isn’t.) The baby’s nervous system develops the ability to calm down through thousands and thousands of supportive, soothing interactions with caregivers. At first, the caregiver is essentially functioning as the child’s parasympathetic nervous system. The development of this “braking system” continues throughout childhood, through continued positive interactions that meet the child’s needs.

There are many situations in which a child may not receive enough soothing in order to learn to downregulate sufficiently. These situations are not always the fault of the parents. Perhaps the child’s mother had a lot of her own unmanaged anxiety, was depressed, and/or experienced posttraumatic stress. Or maybe the family lived in poverty, with constant stressors impacting everyone’s sense of safety. Perhaps someone in the family passed away or suffered a major illness, rendering them unavailable for care. Maybe the child grew up in wartime or, unbeknownst to their parents, was frequently bullied at school.

Great things happen when we are parasympathetically dominant. Our breath is full, slow, and deep. The digestive system works well. The body can focus on repair, including reduction of inflammation, tissue repair, and hormone production. Subjectively, people feel fully present and alive. Many report feeling a pleasant softness and warmth, perhaps even throughout their bodies.

It’s important to point out that disconnecting from stress is not the same as resolving (downregulating) it. Alcohol and drugs, eating disorders, exercise or sexual compulsion, or even “zoning out” on the internet may make the chronically stuck upregulation of the SNS seem to go away for a time. However, as the people I work with in the therapy room could tell you, it’s not the same as sinking into a lovely, full-body sense of calm and relaxation.

Great things happen when we are parasympathetically dominant. Our breath is full, slow, and deep. The digestive system works well. The body can focus on repair, including reduction of inflammation, tissue repair, and hormone production. Subjectively, people feel fully present and alive. Many report feeling a pleasant softness and warmth, perhaps even throughout their bodies. When the SNS is on “standby” and the PNS is more active, people have a “buffer” for stress. They have energy to get through their day, but they can stay calm and present in challenging situations.

One of my first tasks in therapy is to assess and support the person’s ability to downregulate their stress responses. After they are provoked by something, how quickly and smoothly does their system deactivate? Are they still bothered by a small aversive event hours or days afterward?

Here’s a vital point often overlooked by therapists who haven’t had sufficient training in this area: In therapy, it is essential to make sure the person has the ability to downregulate the stress response before going into highly stressful material. In other words, you should never go into material that’s overwhelming, because overwhelming inherently means it’s bigger than your capacity to deal with it. So instead of the issue resolving, more symptoms arise. The way around this is to first support the capacity for downregulation. Then, only after this “braking system” is on board, take the difficult material a small bit at a time.

If someone doesn’t have a strong enough ability to come out of the stress response, how can they develop it?

  • Therapy: Working with downregulation of the stress response can be tricky, as it involves the deepest survival energies of the body. It is advisable to work with a therapist who has extensive training in this area. Remember, SNS downregulation was originally designed to come online under the guidance of another person (usually a parent) whose nervous system is well-developed.
  • Relaxation: Some people benefit from seeking activities or situations that cause the relaxation response and then deliberately spending time “feeling into” the resulting good sensations in their body. However, in relaxation states, some people experience a rebound in tension, stress, or anxiety. This is called “relaxation-induced anxiety” (RIA) or, in severe cases, “relaxation-induced panic.” In my experience, people with RIA are well served by working with a trained practitioner.
  • Physical exercise: Exercise is often helpful, as it tends to burn off excess SNS charge and encourage the production of endorphins. Exercise promotes good mood, self-esteem, and a sense of accomplishment.
  • Meditation: There are many forms of meditation, some of which specifically aim to produce downregulated states. However, in my experience, meditation can be unhelpful for some people who have a lot of traumatic response stored in their nervous systems. In these cases, their nervous systems simply won’t cooperate, and those around them may not have the awareness or tools to work with this issue.
  • Resonance: Simply put, resonance is the feeling you get from being around another person or other living being. I usually explain it by asking people to think of how they feel when they place their open palm onto the rib cage of a calm, happy dog. That feeling of warmth, relaxation, and well-being is a downregulatory feeling obtained via resonance with the dog’s nervous system. Of course, when others around us are tense, our bodies tend to pick up on that and become tense too. Thus, being around stressed, anxious, or angry people is usually the opposite of what’s needed to develop SNS downregulation.

In summary, the ability to go within and really settle oneself is developed during infancy and childhood. This capacity to downregulate stress states is important in maintaining health, relationships, and happiness. Those whose life circumstances didn’t permit development of this capacity during childhood can still develop it through awareness and work with a skilled professional.


  1. Dychtwald, K. (1986). Bodymind. New York, NY: Pantheon Books.
  2. Hamblin, J. (2012). Relaxation-induced anxiety. The Atlantic. Retrieved from
  3. Moore, M., Brown, D., Money, N., & Bates, M. (2011). Mind-body skills for regulating the autonomic nervous system. Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury. Retrieved from
  4. Sharma, A., Madaan, V., & Petty, F. D. (2006). Exercise for mental health. National Center for Biotechnology Information. Retrieved from
  5. Yuan, J., McCarthy, M., Holley, S., & Levenson, R. (2010). Physiological down-regulation and positive emotion in marital interaction. UC Berkeley Information Services and Technology. Retrieved from

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The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

  • Leave a Comment
  • Amy

    October 27th, 2016 at 7:26 AM

    I think that my husband has always had this ability and never had to practice it at all ;)

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    October 27th, 2016 at 10:24 AM

    In that case, I’d say your husband is very fortunate! For the rest of us, however, I find the work usually pays off with wonderful rewards. Eventually. :)

  • Melissa O

    October 27th, 2016 at 10:42 AM

    Exercise is really one of the few ways that I find I can unwind from a very stressful or tense situation and that is sort of my go to method for when I need a little time out and some time to decompress.
    It might not always be the most ideal thing, but for me it is all about the process and the feeling of lightness that I get as a result.
    There is nothing quite like that release that it gives me and it lets me think a little more clearly as well.

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    October 27th, 2016 at 12:48 PM

    I’m right there with you on that, Melissa! :)
    And, hopefully this article may begin to open a doorway to other, additional ways to unwind, decompress and think more clearly. In other words, to put more tools into the figurative toolbox. For me, this has been very helpful when I can’t exercise, e.g. when I’m ill, or injured.

  • Chloe

    October 27th, 2016 at 3:58 PM

    I always associate the upregulation with a feeling of high anxiety.

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    October 28th, 2016 at 5:11 PM

    Yep! That’s one of the most common experiences of upregulation. Here’s hoping you are able to notice some fun, joyful upregulation experiences soon!

  • Glen

    October 28th, 2016 at 11:35 AM

    So obviously my wife is very type a and I swear her stress always rubs off on me to the point where it can start to literally make me feel physically ill. I hate to say that I can’t stand to be around her but man there are some days that we really struggle being in the same room together. When I think of feeding off of one another this should be something that is a positive thing but for us she really does being out the very worst in me.

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    October 28th, 2016 at 5:13 PM

    It’s true–resonance can work in the wrong direction, too. And it can be pretty powerful! A good somatic therapist should be able to help you guys untangle that issue.

  • Andrew

    October 29th, 2016 at 10:27 AM

    What I find to be so interesting are the amounts of time that many of us sit around and believe that we have no control over what we feel when in actuality we have the ULTIMATE control over it.
    Now there may be times when we will be forced to develop new means for coping and different approaches to old problems that have plagues us but the solution is something that we do possess.

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    November 1st, 2016 at 9:32 PM

    Hi Andrew,
    I hear in your comment the firm resolve to avoid a mindset of helplessness. I feel that’s to be commended! It’s been my personal and clinical experience that when fight-or-flight survival states become too strong, that they do become out of our conscious control. Research demonstrates that in really high stress or trauma states, the cortex (the part of our brain that makes conscious choices) literally goes off-line. It becomes inactive. Then the survival enegy is running the show; and that’s just the way we seem to be wired. Somatic therapy involves learning to work with this inner part of ourselves–to become its active partner. When the conscious mind and bodymind are working together, this creates (as you say) new means of coping and new ways to solve problems! I totally agree that we do possess the solution–it’s our birthright. Since everything we know, develops in the context of other people, and these skills aren’t usually taught in our culture, most of the time people need some guidance to learn to “get to” this innate ability. Thanks again for your insightful comments.

  • Marcy

    October 31st, 2016 at 7:09 AM

    I’ve got the relaxation part figured out.
    Long bath, soothing music, candles and a glass of wine.
    Yep that works for me!

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    November 1st, 2016 at 9:40 PM

    Hi Marcy,
    Yes, you’ve just described many people’s favorite relaxation ritual! Of course, a glass of wine can be a wonderful resource for those who want to, and are able to, indulge occasionally without overdoing it. Nothing wrong with that! On the other hand, somatic therapy works to support the body’s own ability to bring down its stress reactions without chemical aid. That way, it becomes something the body just naturally does on its own. My clients frequently report surprise and happiness that they don’t feel as stressed out as they used to, or as reactive to old triggers; and that their responses to stressful situations have become more effective.

  • Galina

    November 30th, 2016 at 3:31 PM

    This is so incredibly helpful, Andrea! Thank you, thank you! I can see so many of my clients loving this as a resource and I can’t wait to share it!

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    December 1st, 2016 at 10:53 AM

    Thank you, Galina!
    Since I know you and your work, I am 100% certain that your clients are so very lucky to have you as their guide!!

  • Andrea Bell, LCSW

    January 7th, 2017 at 6:34 PM

    Just a friendly reminder to all commenters and other readers:
    There is no content on this website (which includes articles and author response to comments) that constitutes therapeutic advice. Nor does anything on imply or create a therapeutic relationship with me, or with any other therapist who writes on this website. It’s just education to raise awareness–and readers can bring that new awareness into therapy with their own therapist.
    And of course, if any of these articles inspire you to seek therapy, I believe that the therapist directory here is a good resource!

  • Kristen

    August 18th, 2019 at 6:35 AM

    Unfortunately, exercise can be incredibly difficult for someone who is chronically upregulated because exercise requires that you are in your SNS. This can be really triggering to someone who is already very activated / overstimulated

  • Charles

    November 10th, 2020 at 8:54 AM

    Hi! Hope you are well.
    I’d love to learn more about the point you made about the PNS in infants, specifically this point:
    “Although infants are born with the capacity for stress response (fussing, crying, etc.), their parasympathetic pathways, which help downregulate the SNS stress response, are not online at birth.”
    Do you have any recommended sources or articles you can point me in the direction of to learn more!

  • Robyn

    February 4th, 2021 at 8:22 PM

    Hi Andrea, such a comforting article in itself. It would be wonderful if you were in Australia – I’d definitely send my son to you! I came across your article after searching for body practices to down regulate an overactivated nervous system. I was searching for my son, who is struggling with high anxiety and anxiety attacks (sadly from childhood trauma and pain – due to my own childhood trauma). He has been going to psychologists for some time, but is struggling with down regulating himself with his mind, and is just ending up at war with himself and it is making him worse trying to manage this way. Do you have any suggestions of body practices that he could do that would come down his body first, when he starts to struggle with anxiety taking him over? From my own experience, I have felt that your feelings are in your body first, and your mind reacts to the sensations in your body, so anxiety and ‘terrorising’ thoughts tend to follow. I’d like to know your thoughts on this, and whether it would be helpful to have a body practise he can do at home, before the fearful thinking kicks in. Thank you so much for your articles. I have read a few of your posts and I find them helpful every time!! Best wishes,

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