Blogging on Good Therapy

By Sarah Jenkins, MC, LPC

Click here to contact Sarah and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

I knew, several months ago, that I would write about April being Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Nevertheless, after the short amount of time that it took to write it, the original article sits, alone in my office trashcan, tossed aside. The cold hard facts about sexual assault, the statistics, they all had their place. They cried out like an overwhelmingly loud and obnoxious alarm clock, desperately trying to wake you as you slumber peacefully. But you see, statistics always do. Numbers always do. Facts always do. We hear them every day and yet, they are not heard. Ironically, just like the voice of many victims of sexual assault, their cries go unanswered. So, I rewrote it.

Sure, you may know that every 35 seconds, a child is reported to be abused or neglected (NCVC, 2008). You may even know that 1 of out 6 women and 1 out of 33 men have experienced a completed or attempted rape (RAINN, 2008). But the difference is that you don’t know statistics. You just know people. You would truly know, and you could feel that statistic, if it was your child, your friend, your sister, your brother, your father, your mother, or you who were assaulted.

I struggled with this writing because sexual assault and abuse is tough to write about. Like the analogy a friend recently told me, it’s like being the town crier. You have a difficult announcement to make, to call out, but the message is ugly, painful, and shocking. Let’s face it. Who really wants to hear that their family and friends are more likely to abuse their child than strangers? Who really wants to acknowledge that you are more likely to be raped by someone you already know? But, someone does want you to hear it, and those are the people who already know. (more…)

by Rhoda J. Lipscomb, MSC, DAACS

Click here to contact Rhoda and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Recently it has become more commonplace to have clients come into my office and state that they have a sex addiction. Often when asked how this was diagnosed they respond that their spouse or other family member told them or they read a book and self-diagnosed. Sometimes when examined more closely, the client does not have a sexual problem at all, just a higher than average sex drive well as living in a sex negative environment.

Many sexologists are beginning to speak out about the attitude that promotes the current level of misunderstanding about problematic sexual behavior. Many practitioners would condone a client who watched 3 hours of reality shows on prime time as normal, while someone who views an hour or two of porn on the internet as an addict. Could both people be spending their leisure time more productively? Absolutely, however if both are able to be productive in their jobs and relationships, then why would some view the latter as problematic?

No one denies that sex, like many other things, can become compulsive, problematic behavior. As some would say, sex is like Jell-O in the refrigerator, it takes on the flavor of whatever you put with it. Sex can be sacred, loving, kind, healing and fun if that is the focus. It can also be hurtful, coercive, demeaning, or wounding. (more…)

written by Chris Reynolds, MS, LPC

Click here to contact Chris and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Sex therapy is simply therapy that specifically addresses sexual problems. A sex therapist can be considered a specialist in the general field of therapy in the same way that a urologist is considered a specialist in the general field of medicine. Though the practice of sex therapy varies widely, most of these specialists have the following in common.

Sex therapy is typically a short term (6 to 15 weeks) solution focused intervention. Solution focused means that there are concrete goals with which to gauge progress, that there is a conscious utilization of client’s strengths, and that homework assignments are utilized to encourage active steps toward one’s goals.

While more general relationship issues are an integral part of sex therapy, they are not the primary issue. Sex therapists treat the sexual problem directly as opposed to assuming that if a couple resolves their other relationship issues, their sexual functioning will eventually improve. Since relationship issues are an integral part of sex therapy, and often one of the dynamics that perpetuates the sexual problem, couples who meet their goals in sex therapy invariably improve functioning in other areas of their relationship as well. When relationship issues are the primary problem (difficulty negotiating conflict, difficulty negotiating value systems, difference in attachment styles, etc.), then more traditional couples therapy is more appropriate. (more…)

Written by Cory Honikman, MSW

Click here to contact Cory and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.

According to the American Institute of Stress, up to 90% of all health problems are related to stress. Additionally, research confirms that our thoughts and emotions have a dynamic effect on our health and vitality.

When our body feels the affects of acute stress, it is analogous to a plane gearing up for take-off. All systems are go, including the heart and blood vessels, the immune system, the lungs, the digestive system, the sensory organs, and brain are all modified and ready to encounter perceived danger. This is where changing our emotions from negative to positive can promote good health, performance and well-being. Of course, this is easier said than done. (more…)