Breaking Down the Wall of Resistance: Therapy as Self-Growth

A crumbling brick wall is shown with a blue peaceful sky peeking over the top.We all have this wall around us. It is a very defined wall that protects us from harm. At times, it prevents us from opening our eyes to something we might benefit from, but don’t necessarily want to hear. Resistance within us is very thick and it gets even thicker as we move along in our daily lives. Our routines become redundant, predictable, and too comfortable until we become unknowingly complacent. We feel there are no other alternatives, and feelings of sadness, disappointment, and annoyance creep in. These emotions seem to stick around no matter our efforts to entertain ourselves—be it with friends and outings or any extracurricular activities. Many times alcohol, gambling, and other mood-altering substances take the place of healing, as a means to self-medicate—a means to escape the vicious cycle we have created.

When we finally reach rock bottom—which varies for each person—things can go one of two ways: seeking help or staying stuck. Even when reaching out for help, we’re still separated by that wall of resistance: the old, familiar ways of thinking. In order to begin breaking old patterns, we need to learn to listen, to allow the information to penetrate even though we may feel extremely uncomfortable (especially if it challenges our beliefs and comfort zones.) It is then, when we listen and process the information and perhaps attempt to allow different alternatives to seep in, that our resistance lowers. Seeing and thinking differently is an essential tool to resume life with a new vision and attitude.

Whether advice comes by request or unsolicited from friends, relatives, or a therapist, the best suggestion is often the one that makes you feel the most uncomfortable. It’s the one that will lead you to your destination of choice. Having short- or long-term goals is important, but the time frame in which they occur is not. It’s the route you take that makes a difference.

The route consists of your behavior, meaning the steps you take; not the old familiar actions, but the new actions that stimulate you, challenge you, and lead you in directions you haven’t yet traversed. So, in essence, we still carry the protective wall, but it’s more flexible, adjustable, and creative. At all times we are in full control of our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. All we are doing is choosing to make different choices, implement new behaviors, and allow new feelings to formulate and flow within us.

In a nutshell, the paragraphs above describe individual therapy/counseling. Typically, therapy is something one seeks when in need, not when in want. The outcome is usually extremely rewarding, as you have done the work yourself, and you have not given up. In essence, therapy is about never giving up on your better self; thus it’s called self-growth!

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  • AdAm

    AdAm

    January 2nd, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    Sometimes I feel so low, cutting off from the world and just running away seems like the best option there is.But I know it will not solve any problems,you have gotta get out there and face em,once you take a fall you have gotta get up and go on.

  • Selina

    Selina

    January 3rd, 2012 at 8:27 AM

    Its when we face newer things and challenges that we grow.Its no use living in a cocoon going about like a machine on presets.And for something new to happen we need to be open to accepting new things,to changes.Its not easy to accept change but the habits needs to be inculcated.

  • evie

    evie

    January 3rd, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    while we grow at every stage in life,from everything we experience,it is advantageous only if it is nurtured and in the right direction.seeking help for the same and learning how to use everything around you to your benefit is a great thing and especially so because not everybody will know how to do so intuitively,

  • ZAC

    ZAC

    January 3rd, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    I have given some thought to going into therapy, just because I have some unanswered questions about why I do the things that I do. But I am not sure form reading here that I really need this, just that it is something that I have thought about from time to time. I don’t think that I am a bad person, I would just kind of like to delve into who I am a little deeper and with someone who can be a little objective unlike family or friends or someone like that.

  • joseph

    joseph

    January 4th, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    Therapy is the best gift that I ever gave to myself, because it taught me to love myself no matter what, which then gave me the strength and courage to love others in my life too.

  • Cyndi

    Cyndi

    January 28th, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    Kelly I’m learning various new ideas from your article, and as a result, it prompts foreknowing a good self-examination offers renew hope and a quiet joy in the midst of suffering. I really-want to experience the benefits of a professional healthy support system, for my good and for the good of all who know me. By the way, your therapeutic approach prompts me to almost believe I can walk on water.. Keep up the great work!

  • Kelly Gorsky, LMHC

    Kelly Gorsky, LMHC

    January 28th, 2013 at 12:11 PM

    Thank you for reading my article. I appreciate all of your comments and thoughts.

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