10 Good Reasons to Seek Relationship Counseling

One of the main reasons people seek therapy is for help with intimate and close relationships. And while couples counseling tends to be viewed as something for only relationships in crisis, there are many reasons people in relationships might pursue it. Some are small, some larger, but all are important and deserve to be explored and worked on.

Research suggests that individuals who complete couples therapy tend to report greater improvement than 70–80% of those who do not receive treatment —an improvement rate that rivals or exceeds the most effective psychosocial and pharmacological interventions for individual mental health disorders.

Here are 10 good reasons to look into relationship counseling:

1. Communication Issues

Communication skills differentiate satisfied and dissatisfied couples more powerfully than any other factor. Indeed, communication difficulties are the most frequently cited complaint among partners reporting relationship distress. Communication is the foundation of all relationships. Communication comes in many forms, both in person and over the phone, text, or social media. Therapy teaches couples how to communicate with each other in a positive manner that works. In my experience, couples often benefit from simple communication tools such as “I” statements and reflective listening. These approaches slow conversations down and help partners feel heard rather than criticized. The type of communication a person grows up around tends to strongly affect how they communicate in their adult relationships.

Recent research shows that integrative behavioral couple therapy managed to significantly improve marital adjustment and constructive communication patterns. It reduced two communication patterns called “mutual avoidance” and “demand/withdraw” in treatment groups. Counseling can help couples make a conscious choice of communication style and not just fall back on what they know from their history.

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2. Premarital Counseling

There are many issues couples face before they tie the knot. Premarital counseling is a place to discuss many things. One example is finances. Will bank accounts be shared? What about making decisions about what to purchase? Another consideration is household duties. Are children part of the picture? What role(s) will in-laws play in your life?

Research shows that couples who participated in premarital counseling had a 31% lower chance of divorce compared to those who did not receive such counseling. Recent studies provide strong preliminary evidence for the effectiveness of premarital interventions in improving communication and conflict resolution skills among engaged couples. By integrating key components of attachment theory and differentiation, these programs enabled couples to develop emotional awareness, assertive communication, and greater resilience in handling interpersonal challenges. Couples counseling can be a safe place to start the conversations that need to be addressed.

3. Sexual Issues

Sex can be something that heals and brings a couple together, or it can be a battleground fraught with anxiety, embarrassment, anger, and hurt. Recent research shows that in 48.5% of couples seeking relationship therapy, at least one of the two partners reported a sexual issue as a reason for seeking therapy. The most common sexual issues were the frequency of sexual activity and sexual desire. Counselors encounter sexual issues frequently and can help.

4. Infidelity and Unfaithfulness

Infidelity within a relationship can be the most hurtful and damaging thing a couple ever goes through, but it does not mean the relationship has to be over. Research suggests many couples are able to rebuild trust and improve relationship satisfaction through therapy following infidelity. Recent studies show that Gottman Method Couples Therapy was globally more effective in facilitating affair recovery than treatment-as-usual approaches, notably in the areas of trust, conflict management, relational satisfaction, and quality of sex. Couples counseling provides a healing space to begin the journey toward resolution. In practice, recovery from infidelity often happens in stages—first stabilizing the crisis, then processing the betrayal, and eventually rebuilding trust through consistent actions over time. Throughout the process, therapy can help find practical and meaningful ways to navigate the treacherous waters of unfaithfulness.

5. Assistance Managing Other Relationships

Couples have relationships with people outside of their relationship together. Friends, extended family, children, coworkers, and supervisors/bosses/professors are just a few. These relationships can be either healthy or unhealthy. Some things that can be discussed are boundaries with members of the opposite sex or same sex, communication with exes, and together and alone time.

6. Nontraditional Relationships

Nontraditional intimate relationships, such as polyamory, open relationships, and swinging, can have problems and struggles—some of which are specific to their lifestyle and identity, some that all couples deal with. It can be intimidating to seek relationship therapy for fear of not being valued or understood because of the type of intimate relationship one is in. Many relationship counselors are comfortable and have the background and understanding to work with people in nontraditional relationships and can provide an open and safe place to work on the struggles a couple is having.

7. Blended Families

When one or both partners have children from another relationship, blending has its own specific struggles and difficulties. According to recent research, approximately 16% of children in the United States live in a blended family. Research shows that it can take four to seven years for blended families to function like a cohesive unit. Parenting differences, the role of the other parent, and the new identity of the family all need to be explored.

8. The End of a Relationship

When a relationship has ended, whether by mutual agreement or otherwise, managing life can be difficult. Often, individuals need to express anger, sadness, and grief. There may be practical issues to sort out as well, such as housing and children. Agreeing how and when to communicate is another example of a matter to be discussed in couples counseling.

9. Digital-Age Issues

Facebook. Twitter. Texting. Sexting. Instagram. YouTube. Snapchat. TikTok. These are just a few ways technology can infiltrate and affect relationships. Research shows that about 16% of married couples reported that they had experienced some form of infidelity-related behavior on social media, with “Facebook infidelity” referring to the use of social networking sites to engage in emotional or sexual relationships outside of one’s committed relationship.

Recent research shows that digital interventions for couples can be effective, with most studies obtaining significant results in improving relationship satisfaction, and these effects were often sustained at follow-up. A meta-analysis revealed a significant, moderate effect size for digital relationship interventions. Communicating via social media has its own pros and cons. Couples often have conflict regarding who to “friend,” what to “like,” and who to text, block, or chat.

Communicating that is not done face-to-face or even on the phone is hard. No matter how many emojis are used, words can be misconstrued and misread. Tone of voice and body language are important to understanding what is being conveyed. Relationship counseling can help couples work through problems technology has caused, and create boundaries with each other to help restore trust when social media have hurt the relationship.

10. Trust Issues

After trust is broken, relationships can be harmed or even destroyed. Part of having a solid and healthy relationship is to be able to trust one another. Research published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that couples who completed therapy showed significant improvements in trust levels, which were maintained at follow-up assessments. Therapy equips couples with communication tools, conflict resolution strategies, and a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and vulnerabilities. These skills not only help rebuild trust but also create a stronger foundation for the relationship, making it more resilient to future challenges. Learning to trust again is a slow and hard process, and it can be painful and frustrating when it doesn’t happen quickly. Counseling can educate and assist couples with understanding the process of regaining trust, and provide tools and direction to help.

All relationships are difficult in some form or another. There will be disagreement, conflict, and hurt even in the best of times. Research indicates a notable success rate in couples therapy, with statistics showing that over 70% of couples experience significant improvement in their relationship satisfaction after engaging in therapy. Emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) and behavioral couples therapy (BCT) are particularly effective, with studies demonstrating that these forms of therapy can lead to high levels of emotional reconnection and significant decreases in relational distress. Relationship counseling can help individuals and couples grow and heal. Like all types of therapy, the lessons learned and behaviors changed will continue to serve each person for much longer than the therapy itself.

It takes work to have a solid and positive relationship. Couples counseling is worth considering for any couple and can promote mutually beneficial change for years to come.

References:

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