My Approach to Helping
Finding out that your partner or your child has a severe medical or psychological condition is not something one can ever prepare for. Panic, disbelief, confusion and even anger and quiet resentment take over your ability to think, plan and most of all communicate, reach out for help and go on with life as usual..
Because of all this, your relationship with your loved ones feel like it could slip away, just as fast as the despair of finding out the bad news set in. In the same way, as you find out that you are ill, you feel scared, need to reach out and find support in your loved one, but also you find that you can't; you don't want to "burden" them, and "talking about it" would almost make something you don't want to think about, something too scary and painful, "too real." And yet it is real. The medical condition, the diagnosis is here, and you do need each other. You need your family members now even more than you ever did. And you can make it through together.
In my experience in working with couples, I have found that these kind of severe crises provide an opportunity for deeper closeness and growth. These are stressful times in the life of a relationship that with the appropriate understanding, communication and knowledge can support the growth of a stronger relationship bond, where trust in each other is nourished and cherished. This leads to more freedom in both partners, at times when life seemed to have handed a harsh reality. Couples' therapy or family therapy during these crises is most helpful. I support your innate need to feel connected to your loved ones, when you feel the most vulnerable.