Long-Distance Love: Can It Really Work?

Man in bed on phoneRelationships require maintenance, effort, and work by both partners. Careers and families can mean even more attention has to be devoted to the relationship. But when couples choose to live in different geographical locations, can mere maintenance and effort be enough to sustain that type of long-distance love? According to some, it definitely can.

In a recent article, experts reveal what is required to keep the love alive across countries and even continents. Marriage looks different today, and economic conditions have forced many couples to take jobs in different areas, whether temporarily or permanently. Educational opportunities have also created a new dynamic in living arrangements, resulting in extended periods of separation for academic advancement.

Dr. Sameer Malhotra, a psychologist and psychotherapist, believes that these days it is not unusual for couples to live apart for long lengths of time. Malhotra says that the most important thing is not the distance, but how each partner approaches the relationship. Taking the energy and time to stay in contact through visits and phone calls adds a lot to the emotional bond. Even gifts and small gestures that remind each partner of the other can serve to keep the relationship strong and close.

Although the decision to live apart is often one that is entered into after both parties provide their input, for some partners, they do not have a choice. This is especially true for women in countries such as India and for women in cultures that do not allow for equality in marriage.

So how do these women adjust to such arrangements? They rely on extended family and in-laws to help sustain their relationships. But according to Gitanjali Sharma, a marriage and relationship counselor, this does not always go smoothly.

“Discrepancies may arise if the in-laws are not supportive,” says Sharma. “They should be willing to bridge the communication gap between the partners instead of straining their relationship further.” Overall, it is not the number of miles between partners that determines the strength of their marriage, but what they do to stay emotionally close despite that distance.

Mazumdar, Arunima. (2013). Distance, hardly a barrier in marriage. Times of India (n.d.): n. pag. Web. timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Distance-hardly-a-barrier-in-marriage/articleshow/12821646.cms

© Copyright 2013 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

  • Leave a Comment
  • maggie w

    maggie w

    June 28th, 2013 at 11:21 AM

    I guess I am just a little too old fashioned to think that long distance love would work for me. I am kind of at that stage where I wonder why I would wnat it to. If I am going to fall in love with someone then I want to be with that special someone, you know? There is no fun to me in being aprt from that person with whom I think that I would generally want to spend a lot of time with! I know that this is something that works pretty well for some couples, you know, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz but I know that this would never be the right step for me.

  • TC


    June 29th, 2013 at 12:38 AM

    DId not care what others said and my partner and I decided to continue with our relationship when I had to move to another city.The distance was not much but the lack of seeing each other often which was an everyday affair initially proved to be too much.The relationship ended and although I am not against LDRs I would not give it another shot myself.

  • Nellie r

    Nellie r

    July 1st, 2013 at 4:44 AM

    I guess that if you and your partner are strong at the evry core of the relationship then it could work. It might work better than other relationships actually because you are not around each other all the time having the chance to bug each other. Hopefully if this is your kind of relationship then you will choose to spend the time that you have together in a way that is positive and poised to help the two of you grow together instead of just focusing on the negative aspect of having to be apart.

  • Teresa Mayes

    Teresa Mayes

    July 7th, 2013 at 9:43 AM

    It can work. I have been with my bf 8 years. It forces you to really talk to one another and then you get to know them better. I had to stay in the states for multible surgerys. He stood by me though out. He never gave up on me. I am here with him right now enjoying each others company. It does take work and I miss him like crazy,but the military has to live the same kind of life too. Would you tell them to quit?

Leave a Comment

By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org's Terms and Conditions of Use.

* Indicates required field.

GoodTherapy uses cookies to personalize content and ads to provide better services for our users and to analyze our traffic. By continuing to use this site you consent to our cookies.