Will your relationship with your partner, husband or wife just “endure” through the holidays or will it thrive?
I know. You’re thinking, “Are you serious? With all I have to do – shopping, cooking, wrapping gifts, sending cards, baking cookies, decorating?” During the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it’s pretty common to forget about doing anything for yourself, let alone for your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in the demands and tumult of the holiday season and put your relationship on the back burner. But with just a small amount of planning your relationship will not only survive the holidays but will prosper.
Here’s how to ensure your relationship will thrive through the holiday season:
1) Create a list of all the holiday tasks that must be done to get a handle on them.
- Buying gifts
- Shopping
- Cooking/Baking
- Sending holiday cards
- Decorating the house
Many people feel they are too busy to plan and organize this month and yet this is precisely the time where planning and organizing is more critical than ever.
2) Schedule the tasks in your calendar.
Break each large activity into small chunks and pick times to accomplish them. Since we can’t predict what may come up and since we often underestimate the time activities will take (I am the worst offender of this), build in several extra blocks of time so you have some breathing room.
3) With whatever small chunks of time are left, plan a few quick “Holi-Dates” during this month with your partner.
“Holi-Date” – A short, sweet date with your partner in December designed to revitalize you, your mate and your connection.
“Holi-Dates” will keep your fires burning, maintain your bond and recharge your batteries. Carve out small pockets of time for you and your partner to share some moments together – either staying at home or going out. Some of our favorite “Holi-Dates” are: a short shopping trip with a stop in Victoria’s Secret, meeting during the day for a cup of coffee or hot chocolate, bundling up and going out for a walk, ice skating, seeing the holiday trains, driving through the Symphony of Lights.
4) Consciously pause for just a moment twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, to connect with each other and say something loving or tell each other what you are grateful for.
Taking these few steps to nurture and feed your relationship and continuing to communicate will ensure that your relationship will stay united and warm through the holidays so that you will have a wonderful holiday season and New Year’s celebration together.
Happy Holidays from our family to yours!
© Copyright 2010 by By Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org.
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