“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine/Let it shine/Let it shine
Hide it under a tree Oh no!/I’m going to let it shine
Hide it under a bushel Oh no!/I’m going to let it shine
Hide it under a bushel Oh no!/I’m going to let it shine
Let it Shine/All the time/Let it shine/Oh yeah!” —Spiritual by Harry Dixon Loes
The above reference from the Sermon on the Mount vociferously communicates: Don’t hide your light under a bushel. Originally, this pertained to not hiding one’s faith under a bushel. Common parlance has morphed it into meaning don’t hide your precious, unique self from the world. Be generous, take a risk, share yourself.
In a society that exhorts you to conform, to keep your real thoughts and feelings under wraps, lest they offend or rock the boat, it is not so easy to relax into your true nature. It takes courage to trust that how you are in this moment is exactly how you are supposed to be. Expressing and sharing your true self is your highest calling.
Being authentic does not mean blurting out every thought regardless of its consequences. You can still practice compassion for yourself and others by judiciously speaking your mind.
Loosening the inner litany of “shoulds” stops the cycle of self-silencing inhibiting free expression of your unique talents and perspectives. Conversely, when you shrink into the smallest space you can inhabit, you actually stop yourself from connecting with others in deeper, more meaningful ways.
You may think you can restrict and close up to only some things, but that is an illusion. Just watch what happens when you make a fist. Notice how that actually tenses up other parts of your body, including your breath. The same is true with closing off your sharing mechanism. After a while it becomes second nature to keep your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to yourself. Not only does this deprive the world of your contributions, it shuts off your true self from others, ultimately making real intimacy almost impossible.
The following list shows some examples of inhibiting “shoulds” that can hold you back. Feel free to make your own list, and make sure to start challenging them as vociferously as possible so you can be yourself in all situations.
- “I should go along to get along.”
- “I should keep my opinions to myself lest they irk or offend anyone.”
- “No one will like or respect me if they know what I really think and believe.”
- “I shouldn’t stand out.”
- “I shouldn’t rock the boat.”
- “My opinion isn’t important.”
- “I can’t stand being noticed.”
- “I need to better organize my thoughts before I say anything.”
- “People will think my ideas are stupid, and I am an idiot for having them.”
- “Someone might disagree with me, and I can’t stand conflict.”
For effective ways of disputing these and other shoulds, please refer to Dr. Albert Ellis’ book: How To Stubbornly Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Anything, Yes, Anything.
The more you can open up, without going to the other extreme of oversharing, the more likely it is that people will want to know you better. By speaking up, you invite people in. Close relationships typically thrive on this sense of mutual transparency and openness.
What are you here for, in all your unique glory, if not to be yourself and share that with the world?
Imagine if no flower ever opened.
Let yourself bloom. You may lose some petals, but you will open to the fullness of life: sun, rain, light, and darkness. You are here to share your radiance.
If you want a little more inspiration, watch this short video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMaWsfLYQko (There is some debate about who actually said the quote Odetta shares at the beginning of this video. Regardless of its origin, it is a great gift.)
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.
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