4 Tips to Making Changes Toward a New You in the New Year

Person in helmet and cycling gear rides bike up hill at sunsetWith the end of another year, many of us employ the New Year’s holiday as an opportunity to evaluate the aspects of our lives that feel in need of change. Whether we seek to exercise more often, organize our closets, or clean up our love life, change is in the air.

Behavioral change is one of the core competencies of good therapy—particularly psychotherapy that goes beyond symptom reduction and focuses on personal growth. Psychotherapists are uniquely positioned to help advance behavioral change. Such growth-oriented therapists have learned from years of clinical practice and research what it takes to help support people in making lasting change.

Change is not a linear process. Our brains and bodies have complex relationships that work together to influence how we act, as well as the choices we make. These complex systems of our bodies can self-organize over time as a result of myriad small, simple changes, with each element helping to support the whole from the bottom up (Hill, 2015). So, while it’s important to have healthier thoughts about how we can change, it’s even more effective to learn how to foster the conditions that can help change happen. This is what good therapy is all about—nurturing a relationship that is built upon advancing the ability to change. Here are some helpful good therapy hints to keep in mind:

1. Embrace the fact you may go back and forth a bit.

One of the fathers of psychotherapy, Sigmund Freud, believed that ambivalence is simply part of the human condition. This means you may have mixed feelings, or sometimes contradictory ideas, around making any new change. Whether it’s about diet, lifestyle, or saving money, your feelings about your self-efficacy may shift from day to day. The key to not letting this keep you stuck is to embrace the fact you might feel mixed about whether such a change is sustainable or even worth it. Rather than pressure yourself into giving up or pushing through how you feel, learn to slow down and be okay with the ebbs and flows of these competing feelings. Know these mixed feelings are a part of the cycle of change.

2. Don’t go it alone.

Motivation is enhanced through connections to healthy others. Change researchers have found that motivation for change is enhanced when it is embedded in a relationship that focuses on empathy and other important relational factors (Miller and Rose, 2009). A trained therapist can support you by helping you gain insight into what may get in the way of you making better choices toward real, measurable progress. Find a highly trained mental health professional to support you in keeping a growth-oriented mind-set. Also, find a supportive community; seek out others who are committed to making a similar difference in their own lives.

Despite what you may have tried in the past, you can achieve a new you in 2018. It requires that you employ a strategy that both embraces and affirms your ability to make change with learned skills and support.

3. Regulating how your body feels fosters the conditions for change.

Research has shown that our emotions are among the primary drivers of our experience. They color our thoughts and experiences and thus can help or hinder our success. Learning to notice the sensations and feelings that are often embedded in our choices can give us a window into making healthier choices. This is often called self-regulation, and can begin by learning to slow down and develop a greater capacity to pay attention to how we’re paying attention to our everyday life.

4. Self-compassion is essential to self-determination.

Discipline is often necessary but insufficient for lasting change. Transformation requires that we be gentle with ourselves and accept where we are as much as where we want to be. So rather than punishing ourselves with self-criticism, we want to cultivate sympathy and kindness in the path to growth, accepting challenge as part of making any commitment to change. Self-compassion, though, is not the same as self-pity or self-esteem—rather, it’s the recognition we are all human beings who deserve understanding and support.

Despite what you may have tried in the past, you can achieve a new you in 2018. It requires that you employ a strategy that both embraces and affirms your ability to make change with learned skills and support. A change-oriented mind-set is one where you know there may be good days and bad, yet with the proper groundwork you will transform into a new you.

References:

  1. Hill, D. (2015). Affect regulation theory. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company.
  2. McCraty, R., & Tomasino, D. (2006). Stress in health and disease. B. B. Arnetz & R. Ekman (Eds.). Weinheim, Germany, Wiley-VCH: 342-365.
  3. Miller, W. R., & Rose, G. S. (2009). Toward a theory of motivational interviewing. American Psychologist, 64(6), 527-537.

© Copyright 2017 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Chris Walling, PsyD, MBA, therapist in Los Angeles, California

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

  • 3 comments
  • Leave a Comment
  • Dan M.

    Dan M.

    December 27th, 2017 at 11:35 AM

    I’m a trained therapist and coach. Coaching in particular can be helpful to people making life changes and setting goals. I suggest calling multiple coaches in your area to set up appointments soon since the new year is a busy time for new clients. Good luck in your goals for the New Year!

  • STUART W

    STUART W

    December 28th, 2017 at 10:47 AM

    Thanks, Chris, for this well written post on how to make lasting and positive changes in 2018. I will keep this list handy as I embark on the changes I wish to see in myself in 2018. Keep up the great work you’re doing in the world! You’re the best!

  • Q

    Q

    January 2nd, 2018 at 12:13 PM

    ‘self regulation’ is harder to do than it sounds especially for people like me with ptsd and anxiety emotions can get ahold of us

Leave a Comment

By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org's Terms and Conditions of Use.

* Indicates required field.

GoodTherapy uses cookies to personalize content and ads to provide better services for our users and to analyze our traffic. By continuing to use this site you consent to our cookies.