My Approach to Helping
I am primarily a couples therapist who has been in private practice for 25 years. The way we talk to ourselves--our inner dialogue--affects how we communicate with those we love. As we explore beliefs about ourselves, our love-ability, and what is an ideal love, we can better process our disappointments in relationships. The tension between each person's ideal and their real relationship is the stuff of couple's therapy. When people face how their needs are not being met and/or how they fail to meet their partner's needs, they are most vulnerable. My goal is to see events from each perspective and find ways for the couple to understand and find empathy for one another. While this a challenge for all, it is well worth it because empathy is the greatest antidote to conflict.
When couples say they have a communication problem, they often don't realize that this statement reflects many different issues. Sometimes a couple has difficulty understanding one another's perspectives or needs--truly a communication difficulty--but often they really have conflicting needs. All is not lost if your needs don't always line up. That is normal for any partnership. My role is to support the couple as individuals, as a pair, and to help them find solutions acceptable to both.
I also work with individuals of diverse backgrounds and with a large range of issues. We explore beliefs about the self and where they originate and what aspect of the self the individual wants to change. Most import, as the individual makes changes, he or she also learns to capitalize on strengths.