A woman stands alone on a frozen lake.Sexual assault refers to a variety of crimes that use sex as a weapon. Sexual assault could include rape, incest, child molestation, groping strangers on the street, and other illegal acts.

People who survive sexual assault can experience mental health difficulties that last for years. Stigma can compound the pain of sexual assault, as a fear of stigma may deter survivors from seeking help or reaching out to others.

Myths about sexual assault hurt survivors. They can promote a social climate that makes sexual assault seem acceptable and defensible.

These 12 myths are among the most prevalent.

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Myth #1: Rape, molestation, and sexual assault are rare, or they only happen to a certain type of person.

Fact: Sexual assault is very common and can happen to anyone.

All forms of sexual assault are more prevalent among women, girls, and transgender or nonbinary people. But men and boys are frequently assaulted too. Sexual assault is a widespread problem. Consider the following:

Myth #2: If a person didn’t verbally say no, it doesn’t count as rape.

Fact: Consent is not the absence of a ‘no.’ It is the presence of an informed and freely given ‘yes.’

An analogy to other crimes may help explain why the absence of “no” is not enough. Consider a carjacker who steals another person’s car at gunpoint. The theft victim doesn’t feel safe saying no, so they may “willingly” give up the car. Likewise, a thief who breaks into a house and takes a family’s possessions couldn’t reasonably argue the family consented to the theft because they didn’t verbally decline.

Rape and other forms of sexual assault are no different. This is why many advocacy organizations now talk about “affirmative consent” and “yes means yes.” Sex is not a presumptive right that can only be taken away with a “no.” It’s something a person must ask and receive permission for.

Multiple factors can make it difficult for a person to say no. These include:

Myth #3: Only vaginal penetration counts as sexual assault.

Fact: Any forced or coerced sexual activity can be sexual assault.

Sexual assault refers to a broad group of crimes. Rape is just one type of sexual assault. Other forms of sexual assault include:

Rape does not require vaginal penetration. Most sexual assault advocates urge victims and survivors of rape to weigh their own experiences rather than relying on a single definition. This is because state laws, federal definitions, and medical definitions vary.

Generally, penetration or attempted penetration of any orifice counts as rape. Rape might involve forced anal or oral penetration. Rape could also include forcing a person to penetrate another person. Forced or coerced sexual contact with a person’s genitals is also rape.

Myth #4: A person can prevent sexual assault with certain behavior, such as avoiding strangers or never walking home alone.

Fact: People are more likely to be assaulted by people they know. The only way to prevent sexual assault is for perpetrators to stop assaulting people.

No data has found a link between any specific behavior and a reduced risk of rape or sexual assault. RAINN estimates that seven in 10 rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. Among child sexual abuse victims, abuse often occurs at the hands of a parent or family member.

The University of Kansas recently held an art exhibition called “What were you wearing?” The exhibit displayed the clothes people were wearing when they were raped. It aimed to dispel the myth that clothing—particularly “sexy” clothing—can trigger rape. A Teen Vogue photo spread also features clothing worn during a sexual assault.

Myth #5: It’s not sexual assault or rape if the assailant and victim are already in a relationship.

Fact: No one has a right to sex. Romantic status and prior consent do not erase the need for current consent.

A person who borrowed money from a friend would not expect to have unfettered access to that friend’s bank account. Nor would a person in a relationship believe that they have a right to everything their partner owns. The right to sex is no different. Consent must be freely given, and it can be taken away at any time—even if a person has previously consented to sex.

Consent must be freely given, and it can be taken away at any time. Someone may also remove consent during a sexual act. Everyone has a right to control their bodies and to avoid unwanted touch or penetration. If the other person doesn’t stop, it’s rape. (When the assailant and victim have a prior romantic relationship, it is called date rape.)

Legal definitions of rape vary. The law changes as social norms shift. Legal standards are not the final word on what is or is not rape. Nor do they determine how someone should feel about an abusive sexual act.

Nevertheless, marital rape has been banned in all 50 states since 1993. Married partners can be prosecuted for forced or coerced sex. Likewise, no state gives a person the right to have sex with someone they’ve had sex with before or with whom they are currently in a relationship.

Myth #6: Boys and men can’t be raped, and women can’t be perpetrators.

Fact: Boys and men can be raped, and women can be rapists.

Women and girls are more likely to experience rape and other forms of sexual assault than men and boys. Indeed, many analysts argue the threat of sexual assault is a way of controlling women. Yet sexual assault is also common among men and boys.

The CDC reports 1 in 6 men experience sexual violence during their lives. 1.7 million men have been raped. Certain groups of men are more likely to experience sexual violence. Those include:

Most research suggests male survivors are typically victimized by other men. Yet a 2017 data analysis suggests 28% of male survivors are raped by women alone—not women acting with other men.

A person does not have to penetrate another person for it to be rape. Women can overpower men and force them to have sex. They can use coercive methods, power imbalances, and weapons to extract sex. Women may also use so-called date rape drugs, including alcohol.

Data on male rape survivors is mixed and often contradictory. This is due in part to the stigma associated with being a man who has been raped. Some men worry that being raped makes them gay, weak, or less of a man. Stigma can prevent male survivors from seeking necessary help.

Myth #8: False rape and sexual assault reports are common.

Fact: Fear of negative attention and stigma causes people to under-report sexual assault.

Most data suggest false reports of sexual assault are rare. The rate of false reporting for sexual assault is similar to, or lower than, false reports of other crimes.

Further complicating matters is the fact that rape stigma may cause a report to be labeled false when it is merely unsubstantiated. If the assailant and victim’s testimonies clash, and there is no other evidence available, a police officer may assume any sexual activity was consensual and mark the report as false. Due to a backlog of rape kits across the nation, producing physical evidence can be difficult.

People who are raped or sexually assaulted may feel embarrassment or shame. These feelings can make a person reluctant to report the crime. Thus, many sexual assaults go unreported. According to RAINN, out of every 1,000 rapes:

In other words, less than 6% of rapes result in an arrest. Only 0.006% of rape survivors see their rapist incarcerated.

Myth #9: People claim they were sexually assaulted for attention, money, or other personal gain.

Fact: Most people who report a sexual assault face a wide range of personal consequences.

There’s little social status to be gained from reporting a sexual assault, especially one that didn’t happen. At every level of reporting, a survivor often encounters skepticism, victim-blaming, and rape myths. A survivor who sees their rapist prosecuted may have to answer intrusive questions about their sexual history or deal with badgering from a defense attorney. They may also have to cope with public fallout and scrutiny.

People who tell only friends and family about a sexual assault can also experience a lot of fallout. This may include:

These reactions can damage a person’s self-esteem and isolate them from a community. Without social support, a person’s trauma may take longer to heal.

Myth #10: It is impossible to get pregnant from rape.

Fact: A woman is just as likely to get pregnant from rape as she is from consensual intercourse.

Data on rape-related pregnancy rates are limited. This is because many women do not report their rapes. Some may feel that a non-consensual sexual experience “doesn’t count” as rape.

As with consensual intercourse, the odds of getting pregnant depend on many factors, including:

A 1996 study of American women estimated 32,101 pregnancies result from rape each year. For Americans, the overall pregnancy rate among rape victims was 5%. Meanwhile, a 1998 study of Ethiopian teens who were raped found a pregnancy rate of 17%.

Myth #10: If a rape really happened, the victim would report it immediately.

Fact: Victims delay reporting for many reasons.

It can take many years for a victim to come to terms with their experience. Some do not want to accept that they were raped by a family member or loved one. Others fear personal or professional repercussions. In some cases, the rape or sexual assault occurred when the person was a child who was unable to safely report the abuse.

Sometimes a high-profile story or social movement encourages a survivor to report. For instance, women began coming forward about alleged assaults by Bill Cosby when other women shared similar stories. Standing alone, these women were often disregarded or ignored. When more than 60 women accused Cosby of assault and rape, it became more difficult to ignore them. A similar situation occurred regarding producer Harvey Weinstein.

The #metoo movement may have also encouraged some survivors to share their stories. When one person shares a story, it offers evidence that another survivor does not have to stand alone.

Myth #11: Rape has to be very violent or involve a weapon to ‘count.’

Fact: Rape can be coercive or occur under the influence of alcohol and drugs.

State laws vary, but no state requires the use of a weapon for an attack to qualify as rape. An assailant may overpower or threaten a victim. The victim could decide that fighting back is too dangerous.

Simply because a rape “could have been worse” does not mean that a rape doesn’t count. The victim may also feel so frightened that they are unable to fight back. Intense moments of stress cause some people to freeze rather than fight or flee. So victims may appear to be passive when they are really so frightened they are unable to think or move.

Some victims feel their rape was comparably less “bad” than other rapes. Simply because a rape “could have been worse” does not mean it doesn’t count. A rape without a weapon can still warrant treatment or prosecution. All forms of sexual assault can be traumatic and have consequences that may last for many decades.

Myth #12: Rape is just bad sex.

Fact: Bad sex can be disappointing, frustrating, and unpleasant. It is not traumatic. Rape is not just a variation of normal sex.

The effects of rape can be catastrophic. Victims may experience depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress (PTSD). Their relationships may suffer, particularly if loved ones do not believe or support them. They may feel humiliated and ashamed.

Some rape survivors live in fear of being raped again. This anxiety can be compounded by public scrutiny and harassment. Rape can affect a person’s career, relationships, and overall well-being.

Some victims experience physical injuries and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Others might become pregnant. Managing these aftereffects can further compound the trauma of surviving a rape.

Therapy can support survivors recovering from sexual assault. A therapist can help someone cope with overwhelming emotions and talk to loved ones about their experiences. A therapist may also treat any mental health concerns that arose from the trauma. Therapy can be a safe place to receive support from someone who understands.

References:

  1. 2014 national street harassment report. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/our-work/nationalstudy
  2. Bennice, J. A. & Ressick, P. A. (2003). Marital rape: History, research, and practice. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 4(3), 228-246. Retrieved from https://www.ncjrs.gov/App/publications/abstract.aspx?ID=201457
  3. Contrera, J. (2018, February 20). A wrenching dilemma. The Washington Post. Retrieved from ttps://www.washingtonpost.com/news/style/wp/2018/02/20/feature/decades-worth-of-rape-kits-are-finally-being-tested-no-one-can-agree-on-what-to-do-next/?utm_term=.f9f3181458f7
  4. Findings from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey [PDF]. (2015). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVS-StateReportFactsheet.pdf
  5. Friedersdorf, C. (2016, November 28). The understudied female sexual predator. The Atlantic. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/the-understudied-female-sexual-predator/503492
  6. Gilbert, S. (2018, April 27). The cost of accusing Bill Cosby. The Atlantic. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/04/the-cost-of-accusing-bill-cosby/559073
  7. Holmes, M. M., Resnick, H. S., Kilpatrick, D. G., & Best, C. L. (1996). Rape-related pregnancy: Estimates and descriptive characteristics from a national sample of women. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 175(2), 320-325. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8765248
  8. Mulugeta, E., Kassaye, M., & Berhane, Y. (1998). Prevalence and outcomes of sexual violence among high school students. Ethiopian Medical Journal, 36(3), 167-174. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10214457
  9. False reporting overview [PDF]. (2012). National Sexual Violence Resource Center. Retrieved from https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/2012-03/Publications_NSVRC_Overview_False-Reporting.pdf
  10. Perpetrators of sexual violence: Statistics. (n.d.) RAINN. Retrieved from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence
  11. Reporting rates. (n.d.). RAINN. Retrieved from https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates
  12. Romeo and Juliet laws. (n.d.) Legal Dictionary. Retrieved from https://legaldictionary.net/romeo-and-juliet-laws
  13. Scope of the problem: Statistics. (n.d.). RAINN. Retrieved from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem
  14. Stemple, L., Flores, A., & Meyer, I. H. (2017). Sexual victimization perpetrated by women: Federal data reveal surprising prevalence. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 34, 302-311. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1359178916301446?via%3Dihub

Person with short dark hair sits on bed in robe looking out open windowThere may be many emotions to sort through after experiencing sexual trauma. These emotions are typically painful, so it is natural to want to avoid them. The problem is, these emotions don’t tend to go away—they fester until you allow the time and space to work through them.

A common cycle of emotions after surviving sexual trauma is: (1) guilt and shame, (2) blame and anger, (3) grieving/mourning, and (4) fear and anxiety. This cycle by no means captures everyone’s experience after a trauma but is a general outline of common reactions. Let’s consider them in more depth.

1. Guilt and Shame

There can be a lot of secrecy surrounding sexual trauma. Victims who come forward are often made to feel like they did something wrong. Some are advised to keep their experience quiet. People often blame the victim by outlining things they “should” or “should not” have done.

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Survivors of sexual trauma may internalize these messages and feel guilt and shame. They may replay in their minds the things they could have done to prevent or escape the trauma, even if they couldn’t have done anything differently. They may feel guilty for having not stopped the abuse and ashamed for having been a victim of it.

Learning to challenge these messages is one of the first hurdles of trauma treatment. Treatment at this stage focuses on self-compassion, understanding, and most importantly: accepting that sexual trauma is never the victim’s fault.

2. Blame and Anger

Along with guilt and shame come blame and anger. Many times, survivors of sexual trauma will blame themselves for what happened and will direct anger at themselves. They beat themselves up with critical, hurtful, and mean thoughts and comments. Some may even engage in self-harming behaviors such as cutting as a coping strategy.

A goal at this stage of treatment is to separate responsibility from blame. Again, no matter what happened, it is never a person’s intention to get abused! Treatment focuses on challenging the blame; challenging the hurtful, critical thoughts; and learning to look at things from a new perspective and generate healthier, more adaptive thoughts. The blame and anger then shift to the perpetrator, as it should.

Unfortunately, many people become stuck at this stage, fuming in anger and unable to move forward. Anger can make us feel more in control. When we are angry, people listen, do what we say, or leave us alone. There is power in anger that makes it hard to let go of. There can also be a fear that if one lets go of the anger, it means it was okay that the trauma happened (of course, it’s not!).

Over time, chronic anger can lead to isolation, loneliness, and depression. Treatment focuses on validating the anger, understanding why it’s there, recognizing anger as a protective warning sign, and learning to manage it before it escalates into verbal or physical aggression.

3. Grieving/Mourning

Grieving can help a survivor of sexual trauma to get unstuck and begin to move forward. There may be many things to grieve: loss of innocence; loss of childhood; loss of feeling safe; grief over mistrusting others and always feeling like something is “too good to be true”; grief over loss of time (for school, relationships, jobs, or time spent self-medicating and in depression); and grief over “what could have been.” Grief can make us feel helpless, powerless, vulnerable, and weak.

It is natural to want to fast-forward through grief or, better yet, stuff it. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts through grieving.

It is natural to want to fast-forward through grief or, better yet, stuff it. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts through grieving. The more you try to avoid it, the more out-of-control your emotions may feel. You may begin to fear crying or “losing it” when something triggers you. A common complaint is “overreacting” to small things. But remember, your body is not just reacting to the most recent “small thing”; it is also reacting to all the stressful events you experienced and stuffed away.

Unpacking, unstuffing, and letting it all out is part of the grieving process. It is especially important that you set up a support system and a regular schedule of self-care activities. Treatment at this stage focuses on helping you establish the space, time, support to grieve and mourn. Treatment also helps you learn how to manage intense emotions so you are the one in control, not the emotions.

4. Fear and Anxiety

After working through the guilt, shame, blame, and anger, and taking time to grieve and mourn, many survivors of sexual trauma are left with a feeling of emptiness. All those emotions that were stuffed away used to take up that space. Now that they are gone, many ask, “Now what?”

This phase of treatment focuses on building a life worth living. It is important to fill that hole with new relationships, activities, goals, and emotions, as staying in that empty place can put you at risk for becoming depressed and isolated. This process may bring a new set of challenges, as people—regardless of whether they have experienced trauma—generally hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to try something new.

Trying to build a new life tends to raise many fears and anxieties. Fears that your efforts won’t work, that others will reject you, that your most critical thoughts were true. Anxiety about going to new places, being out in crowds, starting relationships, and trying unfamiliar things.

Treatment at this stage attempts to help survivors of sexual trauma learn how to face their fears; to set healthy boundaries; to problem-solve and work toward specific and measurable goals; and to manage the natural anxieties that come with trying new approaches.

Conclusion

There is hope after sexual trauma. Recovery is possible. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support, but it is the first step in learning to trust yourself and the recovery process.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Whatever the nature and scope of your trauma, this is a time to remind yourself that you are not alone. Many colleges, hospitals, and groups throughout the country are holding walks, fairs, clothesline projects, rallies, and other events. Look one up in your area, discover the community you deserve, and contact a therapist if you want support.

Rear view of two young adults with long hair sitting on grass. one hugs the otherA survey conducted in 2011 by The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence revealed one in five women and one in 71 men will be raped during their lifetime (Black, Basile, Breiding, Smith, Walters, Merrick, & Stevens, 2011). Additionally, one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18 (Finkelhor, Hotaling, Lewis, & Smith, 1990). Given these alarmingly high numbers, it is not unlikely a survivor of sexual trauma may disclose to you in your lifetime.

Therefore, it is paramount to be prepared, to arm yourself with guidance and direction that will allow you to handle such a situation with care. Most survivors of sexual trauma will share what happened to them with at least one person in their personal network, such as a close friend, family member, or significant other. Survivors may selectively confide in others about their trauma, but I believe it is essential everyone has access to education and information about how to best respond—and how NOT to respond—in the event someone close to you discloses their experience. [fat_widget_right]

Responding to Disclosure in Positive Ways

Sadly, research has shown survivors often receive negative or unsupportive reactions when disclosing trauma. Some of these responses often include blame, criticism of their actions at the time of the assault, questioning if an attack was indeed rape, and so on. These negative responses can have detrimental outcomes for survivors and often cause further hurt and emotional pain.

Survivors often receive negative or unsupportive reactions when disclosing trauma. … These negative responses can have detrimental outcomes for survivors and often cause further hurt and emotional pain.

I previously wrote an article in which I focused on ways people can offer support to survivors of sexual trauma who confide in them. This article highlighted ways to use the BRAVE communications model to respond to disclosure with care and sensitivity. I was struck by how many people reached out and expressed they were still afraid to say the wrong thing during sexual assault disclosures. I was touched by the number of people who demonstrated such a strong commitment to not saying something unsupportive during this sensitive time. Consequently, I felt compelled to write a follow-up to discuss in detail what never to say or do when someone confides the sexual trauma they have experienced.

Since negative social responses often thwart a survivor’s recovery and may produce more posttraumatic stress symptoms (Ullman & Peter-Hagene, 2014), it’s critical you are thoughtful in your responses to these situations. One of the key elements to handling disclosure moments with support is knowing what never to do or say. You can prepare yourself beforehand by developing your awareness of the dialogue and behaviors to avoid, and this essential first step will help ensure any survivors of sexual violence who share their story will receive a positive experience when they decide to do so.

Preparedness can go a long way toward fostering healing for survivors. The list below offers guidance and a starting place, though it may not be all-inclusive, for people to develop understanding of how not to react when disclosed to:

  1. Avoid reacting with disbelief.  One of the most detrimental ways to respond is to show you don’t believe the survivor. Studies have shown false reports of rape only account for about 2-8% of reports. These statistics are similar to any other crime (Lonsway, Archambault, & Lisak, D., 2009). We certainly don’t doubt or question people who tell us they have had their home burglarized or their wallet stolen. Sexual violence should be no different.
  2. Avoid reacting with blame, criticism, or judgment. Don’t ask “why” and “what” questions, as these are only likely to perpetuate victim blaming and contribute to the survivor’s negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Questions such as, “Why did you go alone to the apartment?” “Why were you drinking alcohol?” “Why did you get drunk?” “What were you wearing?” “Why did you start being physically intimate if you didn’t want to have sex?” “Why didn’t you fight back?” “Why didn’t you scream?”are not at all helpful. In no circumstance is a survivor of sexual violence to blame for the crime. “Why” and “what” questions, however, have the potential to communicate to the survivor they are responsible for the act of another person, which, again, is never the case. Only the perpetrator of the sexual assault is to blame. In general, use extreme care when considering a why/what question in this circumstance.
  3. Avoid negative reactions. Being negative when a survivor shares their trauma story can have consequences for the survivor. It’s generally not advisable to tell survivors they shouldn’t report the incident or tell them their attacker is unlikely to be caught even if they do report the attack. Neither is telling a survivor they shouldn’t share with any more people a positive reaction. You may say this because you care and worry how others might react to hearing of the assault, but the atmosphere of negativity created is generally unhelpful and unsupportive. It is also critical survivors are not told what to do or how to handle the aftermath of the attack, as this effectively continues to take away or limit their sense of power and control. Survivors need to feel empowered. This means they should make their own choices about how to handle the crime, including decisions on whether or not to press charges.
  4. Don’t treat survivors differently. Treating survivors differently, such as by acting as if they are damaged in some way or now defective, can be damaging to their wellness and recovery. Survivors need to know they have a consistent and stable support system, so if you begin avoiding a person who has disclosed to you, this can be hurtful. If you aren’t sure how you can help them, you can always ask!
  5. Avoid minimizing what happened. Never tell survivors to just get over it or that what happened is in the past. Other unhelpful things to say to survivors include, “You don’t need professional help;” “It was only sex;” or “Are you sure it was really rape?” “Sexual assault is about power and control, not sex.” These types of questions and statements are attempts to reduce what has happened to the survivor. The truth is, sexual violence is a common traumatic event frequently leading to PTSD in survivors, a majority of whom are women. Sexual trauma is not to be reduced and minimized, as the effects of this kind of trauma include negative emotional and physical consequences often warranting professional assistance. Encouraging survivors to seek mental health care for trauma can promote healing.

If a survivor of sexual assault confides in you, avoid the above reactions to increase your chances of providing survivors with a positive disclosure experience. This sensitivity will continue to help dismantle rape culture, make it more comfortable for survivors of sexual violence to share when they feel appropriate, and validate a survivor’s decision to place their trust in you. Healing takes time, but you can help the process—one moment at a time!

References:

  1. Black, M. C., Basile, K. C., Breiding, M. J., Smith, S .G., Walters, M. L., Merrick, M. T., Stevens, M. R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 summary report. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf
  2. Finkelhor, D., Hotaling, G., Lewis, I. A., & Smith, C. (1990). Sexual abuse in a national survey of adult men and women: Prevalence, characteristics and risk factors. Child Abuse & Neglect 14, 19-28. doi:10.1016/0145-2134(90)90077-7
  3. Lonsway, K., Archambault, J., & Lisak, D. (2009). False reports: Moving beyond the issue to successfully investigate and prosecute non-stranger sexual assault. The Voice, 3(1), 1-11.
  4. Ullman, Sarah E.; and Peter-Hagene, Liana. (2014). Social reactions to sexual assault disclosure, coping, perceived control and PTSD symptoms in sexual assault victims. Journal of Community Psychology, 42(4): 495–508. doi:  10.1002/jcop.21624

Photo shows rear view of two people with long hair wearing coats sitting on back of bench by waterJune is recognized as National PTSD Awareness Month. One of the populations most at risk for developing posttraumatic stress are survivors of sexual assault. In fact, sexual assault is the event that most commonly causes posttraumatic stress among women, with 94% reporting symptoms during the first 14 days (Riggs, Murdock, & Walsh, 1992). Additionally, 30% of sexual assault survivors continue to experience PTSD symptoms nine months later (Rothbaum & Foa, 1992). According to the National Crime Victimization Survey (2007), a woman is sexually assaulted somewhere in the United States every 120 seconds.

Sadly, sexual violence is still shrouded in a cloak of silence due to the stigma many people associate with rape. In spite of this, research has identified that 92% of survivors disclose what happened to at least one person close to them, such as a family member, significant other, or trusted friend. Unfortunately, these disclosures are not always met with support. In fact, anywhere from 25% to 75% of survivors who share information about their traumatic event experience a negative or non-supportive response from at least one person in their personal support system (Campbell, Ahrens, Wasco, Sefl, & Barnes, 2001; Golding, et al., 1989; Filipas & Ullman, 2001).

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These numbers alarmingly attest to why survivors often suffer in silence. If they confide in someone, they risk being blamed, judged, or worse, not believed. These kinds of negative responses may be further traumatizing and drive survivors back into a world of secrecy where healing is delayed or even thwarted.

The time is now to create a culture where survivors of sexual assault can feel confident and safe in sharing their experiences. Survivors should be able to find respite in sharing their trauma while having it be received with support, warmth, and respect. PTSD Awareness Month can be a campaign for change. Let us lift up survivors with words of support and validation. At the same time, let us cease to accept rape myths that perpetuate and contribute to negative responses upon disclosure.

The time is now to create a culture where survivors of sexual assault can feel confident and safe in sharing their experiences.

Additionally, this paradigm shift where survivors are unequivocally supported allows all to play a critical part in attenuating PTSD symptoms. When survivors disclose their trauma and they experience a positive social response, this promotes healing, faster recovery, and fewer PTSD symptoms (Ullman & Peter-Hagene, 2014).

Here are some powerful ways to stand by a survivor and support them when they break through their silence. Remember the acronym BRAVE—which is easy, as it embodies every survivor of sexual trauma. BRAVE serves a communication model to be used as guidance for signaling five types of positive responses that help promote healing for survivors of sexual violence.

Conclusion

With the BRAVE communication model, when a survivor of sexual violence shatters the silence by sharing, you can be ready to respond with kindness, compassion, and the gentle care survivors deserve. Your response may be an integral part of their healing process.

References:

  1. Campbell R., Ahrens C., Wasco S., Sefl T., & Barnes, H. (2001). Social reactions to rape victims: Healing and hurtful effects on psychological and physical health outcomes. Violence and Victims, 16(3), 287-302.
  2. Filipas, H. H., & Ullman, S. E. (2001). Social reactions to sexual assault victims from various support sources. Violence and Victims, 16(6), 673-692.
  3. Golding, J. M, Siegel, J. M., Sorenson, S. B., Burnam, M. A., & Stein, J. A. (1989). Social support sources following sexual assault. Journal of Community Psychology, 17(1), 92-107.
  4. Rothbaum, B. O., & Foa, E. B. (1992). Subtypes of posttraumatic stress disorder and duration of symptoms. In J. R. T. Davidson & E. B. Foa (Eds.) Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: DSM-IV and Beyond. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press.
  5. Rothbaum, B. O., Foa, E. B., Riggs, D. S., Murdock, T., & Walsh, W. (1992). Prospective examination of post-traumatic stress disorder in rape victims. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 5(3), 455-475.
  6. Ullman, S. E., & Peter-Hagene, L. (2014). Social reactions to sexual assault disclosure, coping, perceived control. Journal of Community Psychology, 42(4): 495-508. doi: 10.1002/jcop.21624
  7. National crime victimization survey. (2007). U.S. Department of Justice. Retrieved from https://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=dcdetail&iid=245
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