By Ellen Schecter, Ph.D.

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Once upon a time, there was a certain clarity in the world of sexuality. Regardless of whether one believed a homosexual orientation was innate or a matter of choice, the sexual orientations were easily and clearly defined: Those who were attracted to, and had sex with, people of the opposite gender were heterosexual (straight), while homosexuals (gays and lesbians) were attracted to, and had sex with, people of the same gender. You knew who was who by the gender of the sexual partner.

As time went on, the waters became muddied a bit by acknowledgment of bisexuals and their ability to be attracted to, and have sex with, people of either gender. Initially, they were seen as immature or confused, either closeted gay people or curious straight people. But eventually we got our heads around bisexuality and, for the most part, accepted that it was a real sexual orientation, just like gay/lesbian and straight. Read the rest of this entry

By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D.

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If hearing the term “mixed-orientation” marriage is unclear, let me begin by explaining. It isn’t about marriages of different races or religions, but about a marriage in which one person is gay, lesbian, or bisexual, and the other person is straight. In this article, I am referring specifically to gay/lesbian individuals who need to deny to themselves and/or others that this is their sexual orientation, and therefore don’t disclose to the straight partner. In other words, they enter the marriage as a “traditional” heterosexual couple, and their true sexual orientation remains “in the closet.” Research in the area of mixed-orientation marriages reveals that up to 2 million couples are in this situation (Amity Pierce Buxton), but statistics are increasing since more gay people in this type of marriage are coming out. When they do, the marriage often enters a crisis. Read the rest of this entry

A GoodTherapy.org News Update Presented by Daniel Brezenoff, LCSW

A University of Utah psychologist whose research has been cited by groups that identify homosexuality as a mental disorder and promote “reparative” therapy is defending her work and criticizing the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality for distorting her findings.

“If NARTH had read the study more carefully they would find that it is not supported by my data at all,” says Lisa Diamond of the University of Utah. “When people are motivated to twist something for political purposes, they’ll find a way to do it.” Diamond’s videotaped comments are available in full on the Internet.

A national group that advocates “treatment” of homosexuality, NARTH was founded by psychologist Joseph Nicolosi (author of “Healing Homosexuality” and “A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality”) and is currently run by A. Dean Byrd, an adjunct professor at the University of Utah’s Department of Family and Preventive Medicine. Byrd has pointed to Diamond’s research as evidence that gays’ sexual orientation can be straightened out through treatment.

Byrd retorted, “NARTH’s view is that people can adapt any way they want and there is freedom of choice,” Byrd says. “If it says ‘fluidity’ it says ‘fluidity.’ How you interpret it is something else.”

But Diamond accuses NARTH of “cherry-picking” findings that may ostensibly appear to support their position. “You know exactly what you’re doing,” she says in the video. “It’s illegitimate and it’s irresponsible and you should stop doing it.”

NARTH’s past president, psychiatrist Charles Socarides (1922-2005), fought long against the American Psychiatric Association’s removal of homosexuality from its list of mental disorders in 1973.

The American Psychological Association also rejects so-called “reparative therapies” that attempt to convert gay men and women to exclusive heterosexuality. Its position is that, “there has been no scientifically adequate research to show that therapy aimed at changing sexual orientation is safe or effective. Furthermore…the promotion of change therapies reinforces stereotypes and contributes to a negative climate for lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons.”

Click here to contact Daniel and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile ©Copyright 2008 by GoodTherapy.org All Rights Reserved. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Daniel and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Written by Patti Geier, LCSW

Click here to contact Patti and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.

When to Seek Treatment

I recently received a call from a woman who was interested in couple therapy. She and her partner were planning a wedding and thought it would be a good idea to have pre-marital counseling “to iron out a few problems”. After a few months in treatment, they agreed that the work they accomplished benefited them as a couple and as individuals. They felt ready to begin the next chapter in their lives.

I offer this example because it is so different from what I usually see. In my work with couples I have found—whether they are lesbian, gay, or straight—that by the time the couple comes to treatment, they are unable to talk to each other without fighting. Communication has broken down and their relationship is tense, volatile, and destructive. It is rare for couples to reach out for treatment unless they are desperate and therapy becomes a last ditch effort before breaking up.

It is difficult to move forward in a relationship when anger and resentment have built up to the degree where there are few conflict-free areas of discussion. Of course, it would be much more effective to seek counseling before reaching this point. Read the rest of this entry