My Approach to Helping
I see self-compassion as the foundation for personal well-being and healthy relationships at home, at work, and in the world. I focus on helping people break the trance of self-judgment, so that they can relate to themselves and others with curiosity, presence and compassion.
Many people have deeply ingrained stories about what their suffering means, and often those stories focus on self-blame: "What did I do wrong? Why doesn't this (job, relationship, project, life) look or feel the way it's supposed to? It must be my fault." If your ideas about how life is supposed to feel and who you're supposed to be are rigid, any deviation from those ideas can trigger intense self-criticism, which usually intensifies your suffering and makes it harder to identify sound choices. This is the bind of perfectionism.
This bind is understandable. Culturally, we?re often led to believe that we can have it all, at all times. Most of us also compare ourselves to others, constantly looking for reassurance that we?re good enough. The truth is that loss, disappointment, and uncertainty are all essential aspects of the human experience. Suffering is simply evidence of being human, of caring about a person or a situation that is ever-changing. However, many people think that they should have somehow figured out a way to avoid those experiences; that they should know better.
I have a collaborative, engaged approach to therapy that?s deeply informed by my 13-year meditation practice. My goal is to help you relate to yourself with genuine compassion. Often, the very habits that we wish would just go away speak to an inner wisdom that we haven?t yet been able to hear. Once you can listen to what your circumstances are telling you without the added layer of self-judgment, it?s more possible to be present, to see clearly what your choices are, and to experiment with relating to yourself and your experience in a fresh way.