My Approach to Helping
Are you a 30+ woman who is twice exceptional (intelligent and ADHD), feeling overwhelmed? Is it even harder because your family is full of accomplished people, and you feel like you can't keep up with expectations? You are hardworking and others count on you, be it a spouse, children, parents, or coworkers, or any combination of these. You know you are smart, caring and creative. But there are days when it feels like it takes all you have just to get dressed and out the door. Your brain either supercharged or foggy, and you can't often predict which it will be. So you sometimes feel like an Impostor who is just "pulling it off". You may have had unpleasant experiences or things you try not to think about. You want support.
I get this because I've worked with dozens of women over 40 struggling with these issues. At the start of our work, they feel a disconnect between what they feel (anxious, overwhelmed) and what others see in them (full of potential, "shouldn't find life so hard". They feel different and alone, wanting change. Not everyone understands the challenges of ADHD. I do. I know that if you are an adult, you may not even have been diagnosed or had ADHD addressed until adulthood. And no two people with ADHD are alike, so you need someone to understand your own personal struggles and successes.
You may feel unsure, because you've managed to cope with your ADHD and overwhelm, even traumatic memories or experiences, on your own for so long. I get it. If you've read this far, though, you are probably tired of feeling the weight of this. You have been dealing with your issues for awhile, they are getting heavy, and you want relief and support. Call me as soon as you are ready.
More Info About My Practice
Have you witnessed or experienced an upsetting incident that you can't "shake"? Ever since this happened, the images of this play over and over in your head, even though you are working hard to push them down. You may feel irritable, jumpy, and find yourself avoiding the spot where this happened, or people or even things linked with the event. Maybe it was a single event, like a car accident or an assault. Maybe it was a series of events that happened, like an unpleasant work experience or difficult or upsetting childhood experiences. All of these can be symptoms of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).
It's hard to talk about. You don't want to talk about it, but you are sick of this impacting your life now. You don't want to keep feeling like this, and well-meaning people try to tell you to "look at the bright side", and that just makes you feel more alone. It's a lot of work to keep trying to "push this down".
But you aren't alone, and you don't have to go through this alone. The sooner you address your symptoms, the sooner you can begin to feel relief. I am a Certified Traumatic Incident Recovery Facilitator (TIRF-C). This isn't your typical "talk" therapy. It is a structured, evidence-based treatment that helps reprocess the memory and reduce your symptoms. And when you feel calmer, you can begin to live more fully in the present. Your life is now, and I'm here when you are ready.
My Therapy Focus
I work a bit differently than many therapists. You are likely looking for someone who has empathy, but who gives you room to discuss what's on your mind. I do this, but in a slightly more structured way than you are probably used to. I will help you look at the different pieces of what is causing you distress right now, and I always aim to be sensitive to what is coming up for you. We go at the pace that works for you. Many people who have worked with me and have tried therapy before tell me that they change in a more powerful way than they have in previous therapies. While I give guidance where you need it, I don't usually interpret what it means. You have that inside you; I just help you bring it out.
Conversely, if you are in need of strategies, I will work with you on them, too. Being person-centered, I want you to be honest about what is working or not. This helps me be better for you.
How My Own Struggles Made Me a Better Therapist
I come from a family of psychotherapist and psychiatrists. In some ways, this was great. Therapy, validation of feelings and self-examination were normal experiences, and I will always be grateful for this. The flip side is that being therapized could feel dismissive, like it wasn't really the point. It's hard to be helped when you feel alone or "othered". My best healing experiences occurred when I felt heard by someone who was in tune with what I was going through. I found this in family relationships, friendships, and later, with therapists. Yes, sometimes they confront, and they may see something differently, but they don't set out to "make you wrong". Yes, sometimes we need guidance, but we also need be able to hold space for our pain. When I discovered AMP, it gave me a new way of looking at my upset. I could unload and unlayer it without worrying that my therapist was going to somehow correct me or have a big reaction.
Regarding guidance, I have received as well as given, especially with regard to the negative self-talk we can give ourselves when we have executive functioning challenges with ADHD. Getting resources and education on these struggles have made a huge difference.
What I Say to People Concerned about the Therapy Process
The first thing I acknowledge is that this can feel difficult at first. You may not even want to do therapy, even if you want the good results from it. That's pretty normal! You don't know me, you are busy, and you are telling me personal things. It's understandable that it may not come easily to you. Also, if you have done more typical talk therapy, you may feel hesitant to try this different way of looking at what's bothering you. We will go at a pace that you are comfortable with. After a while, you won't even notice it. The best part? It's a process, and there is no way to "fail".
