Ways to Cope with Grief and Loss after Putting a Pet to Sleep

Bernese Mountain Dog in a meadow at sunset mountains in the background.In the United States, there are almost as many pets as there are adult humans. Collectively, Americans keep 60 million dogs, 70 million cats, and a host of other animals as pets. More than half of all families in the U.S. have at least one pet, and many of those families consider their pets to be members of the family. Although the actual science is hard to quantify, most pet owners believe that their animal companion enriches the quality of their lives, which is why it can be so painful when they die.

Losing a beloved animal companion can be a heart-rending experience. Having to make the decision to euthanize a long- and still-cherished pet is arguably even more difficult. People often struggle with overwhelming feelings of grief, loss, and guilt after choosing to put their pets to sleep. These strong feelings that accompany euthanizing a pet come as the result of their roles in our lives and the strong bonds we are capable of developing with animals. In fact, research by Jaroleman indicates that the bond between people and their pets can have a direct impact on physical and mental health.

While losing a pet can affect us in profound ways and may be quite painful, there are several strategies that might be employed to help people cope successfully after putting a pet to sleep.

Prepare for the Grieving Process

Our animal companions provide us with love, support, and loyalty, and they often fulfill an important psychological need. When we are faced with the decision to euthanize our pets, it is the end of an important relationship—for some, one of the most important relationships in their lives. Many pet owners will experience some form of the grief, though each person will grieve differently. Though there are many different models for the grieving process, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross offered these five stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying

Denial
• Bargaining
Anger
Depression
• Acceptance

The stages may not occur in any fixed order, and the duration and intensity of each stage can vary from person to person.

Do not be surprised if the pain you feel after putting your pet to sleep is deeper and sharper than you initially anticipated, so take the time you need to complete the grieving process. Losing companionship is never easy and it may take some time for you to come to terms with the changes in your family and life.

Seek Out Social Support

A cat on a veterinarian tableWhen we lose a close relative in death, the world around us tends to help us move through the grieving process. Family and friends may draw closer together for some time, we take time off from work, and people generally offer their support. The loss of a pet, however, is often met with much less sympathy or support. For example, a survey conducted by Quackenbush and Glickman revealed that 45% of pet owners that had lost a pet missed one to three days of work, even though most employers do not consider the loss of a pet to be grounds for bereavement leave.

While our immediate family members and veterinarians are likely able to relate to the pain we feel and offer needed support, some expect us to just “get on with it.” The world around us simply does not understand that our pet was not “just a dog” and that we cannot “just get a new one.”

According to research by Clements, Benasutti, and Carmone, “The loss or death of a pet, and the surrounding traumatic events, can unbalance existing social roles and family relationships, and can result in the disruption of dyadic relationships between the owner and other significant people (spouse, children, and colleagues).”

It is important not to push our friends and family members away, especially during this stressful time, and it may be helpful to open up to them and share our feelings. After all, who better to remind us of the wonderful times we shared together with our now departed pets?

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about how much your pet meant to you with your family and friends, consider making an appointment with a therapist. A therapist can provide healing support and help you understand the grieving process better. With time, he or she can provide tools and coping strategies to help you return to a normal life without your pet.

Anticipate a Change in Routine and Stay Busy with Meaningful Activities

Pet owners develop habits around their pets due to the dependency pets have on their human companions. Their very lives are at stake. Dedicated pet owners often set aside times for feeding, washing, and walking or exercising pets. For some people, their pets might even serve as living, breathing alarm clocks.

Humans are creatures of habit. We like to know what to expect and are comforted by the fact we exert a measure of control over our actions and responsibilities, but losing a pet dramatically alters that sense of routine and predictability. Quackenbush and Glickman’s survey of pet owners that had recently lost a pet found that 93% reported a disruption of their daily routines and 70% of respondents said their social activities diminished.

Considering this, it is easy to understand the emptiness a person might feel as he or she learns how to deal with life after a pet has been euthanized. Each day is now filled with standardized voids and blocks of time with nothing to do and no animal companion to fill them.

To help soothe your grief, fill these time slots with fun and meaningful activities, especially in the company of supportive companions. Play board games, go to the park, or have a dinner party—anything you might enjoy. You might even consider making a donation to an animal-rights charity in the name of your recently deceased pet. Here are a few other suggestions for activities that may help you heal:

  • Volunteer your time to a local animal shelter.
  • To memorialize your pet, consider making a donation of needed items to a local animal shelter. You can ask family and friends to donate, which might present a good opportunity to talk about your deceased pet with them.
  • Learn about therapeutic approaches to coping with grief, loss, and bereavement. Consider reaching out to a therapist to learn more.
  • If you are experiencing guilt about euthanizing your pet, write a truthful letter addressed to your deceased animal friend about all the reasons you chose to do it. This may help you work through your guilt by addressing the practical, and perhaps merciful, reasons for your decision.

References:

  1. Clements, P. T., Benasutti, K. M., & Carmone, A. (2003). Support for bereaved owners of pets. Perspectives in Psychiatric Care, 39(2), 49-54. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/200756802?accountid=1229
  2. Jaroleman, J. (1998). A comparison of the reaction of children and adults: Focusing on pet loss and bereavement. Omega, 37, 133-150.
  3. Quackenbush, J. E., & Glickman, L. (1984). Helping people adjust to the death of a pet. Health and Social Work 9(1), 42-48.
  4. Sable, P. (1995). Pets, attachment, and well-being across the life cycle. Social Work, 40(3), 334-41. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/215272292?accountid=1229
  5. Spencer, S., Decuypere, E., Aerts, S., & De Tavernier, J. (2006). History and ethics of keeping pets: Comparison with farm animals. Journal of Agricultural and Environmental Ethics, 19(1), 17-25. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10806-005-4379-8

© Copyright 2014 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

  • 224 comments
  • Leave a Comment
  • kaye f

    kaye f

    August 20th, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    A very good friend of mine recently went through this with her dog and it has been so terribly heartbreaking for the whole family.

    That dog was a part of their family for so long and although they knew that it was the right thing to have him put to sleep I don’t think that the certainty of knowing that necessarily made the choice any easier for them all. I have watched them all struggle with their grief and their sadness and it has been a terrible thing to witness.

    Some people are already telling them that they should get a new dog but I think that the timing is all wrong for them because there is still too much pain over their loss that is there.

  • KK

    KK

    September 26th, 2016 at 10:53 AM

    I was just recently informed by me fellow family members that we were going t put our 12-year-old german shepherd down in the next following weeks. I’m not really sure how to deal with all of the upcoming grief. Any tips? Help? Thanks best wishes…

  • Ginger

    Ginger

    April 8th, 2018 at 8:22 PM

    I have put my German Shepherd dog down two weeks ago and I am so hard broken , its so hard to dealing with the grief.

  • jen

    jen

    July 14th, 2017 at 8:30 AM

    I’m still in sudden shock and so hurt our almost 11 year old Boxer is gone. He was the BEST BEST dog anyone could ask for. We have 3 children and my husband first pet and my baby after we got married. UGH! Tears non stop. Overall, Bosco our baby was his usual playful self, eating, drinking, walks, greeting us everyday. Of course he was more sleepy at times but age (I assumed). I had dogs growing up and knew what signs to look for in old age,etc. Bosco had his check up in March and was great The sad sudden shock came last week. I got a call in mid afternoon from my nanny (thankfully he wasn’t alone) that he collapsed /or seizure like. My husband and I rushed home w/in the hour as he couldn’t stand and we headed to the ER. He was panting and really cold but alert with us. We were nervous but we def didn’t think we would get the news we got w/in mins. 5 mins later, they called us in to tell us he was very anemic and ill and dying. SHOCK and SADNESS and CONFUSION. What and How as he was just eating, playing,etc . Well he had abdominal tumor (that we didn’t know about) and had a mass bleed (ruptured), lots of fluid in the ultrasound and possibly bleed of the spleen, temp drop very low, pale gums and just failing inside. They weren’t confident he would survive surgery (age) or blood transfusion, etc. We were so hurt and I just didn’t want to lose my fur baby. We really didn’t think we weren’t coming home with him. Vet really suggested we needed to act fast and let him rest. I knew the day would come but that was not it or how. We did put him to sleep and stayed with him and comforted/held him as much as we could. It was so peaceful and quick and we fast asleep. We / I have been sick and heartbroken not having him home with me. I miss him following me around or walks after work. AGAIN – HOW did we not know? Was he in any pain prior and we just didn’t see it? I have so much guilt to not recognize anything to help him. The Vet has tried to reassure me he was in no pain prior to collapsing and his body failing. I really hope that is true and this was just quick and painless for him. I don’t get it how it happened so quick. I’m glad we spent the final moments but so sad he didn’t have anymore time with us. He is already so missed and thought about every second.I know we were lucky to have him that long as Boxers have 8 -10 year life span (not fair) and cancer being number 1 killer. I just really thought we made this far with no issues that it would just be old age. I think the preparation knowing we had to act so quick (and I know he wouldn’t had survived surgery) just so sad seeing his precious face staring at house while he had to put him down. Thankful he didn’t pass at home w/ the kids or alone. I hope I will heal and he is looking down at us smiling and saying he had a w wonderful life and he isn’t mad at us.

  • Ralph

    Ralph

    July 14th, 2017 at 9:51 AM

    Jen, very sorry for the loss of your fur baby. It hurts so much more when sudden and unexpected. Still dealing with sudden loss of our 3 year old cat. Its been almost 2 months and the pain has lessened but i still miss her every day. I wish you strength during your time of grief.

  • Shona

    Shona

    July 20th, 2017 at 4:13 AM

    Jen so sorry about the loss of your fur baby I sadly have just had to put my beautiful fur baby to sleep Sunday just gone with the same condition yours had I’m finding it so hard to be strong for my daughter and my two dallies I have left my daughter is so distraught that she was a way at the time and my two dallies are running around looking for him and crying for him, I feel like I let him down not knowing what was wrong with him there were no signs , he was running around playing Friday and Saturday , and on getting up Sunday morning he was in terrible pain from head to tail when I stroked him, the hardest part is that he’s not at the foot of the stairs waiting for me to come down and say good morning my handsome boy, it’s so very raw at present but I’m sure we will cope we will always have them in our hearts and maybe yours and mine are playing together I’d like to think so , all the best to you and your family take care

  • Paul D

    Paul D

    July 24th, 2017 at 11:19 PM

    I couldn’t help but feel your pain as my own having to put our own little Buster to sleep just three days ago. How was sixteen and I know we were blessed to have him for such a long time but my wife and I have never felt such crushing sadness save and except for the loss of our parents. Everywhere we look we see emptiness where he once filled the space and also our hearts. Coming home and opening the door without seeing his face and wagging tail is so unbearable I feel like moving — I know it sounds crazy but that’s how hard it seems to carry on without him in our lives. I pray we will recover from the sadness and also that you and others in our position will also find relief from the hurt.

  • Pete R

    Pete R

    August 6th, 2017 at 12:12 AM

    Our beloved Yorkie Oliver, the sweetest, most selfless creature on this earth and was just 8 1/2 yrs old when about 2 weeks ago he developed a dry hacking cough. On July 21, 2017 I took him to our regular vet. He didn’t find anything but prescribed him antibiotics for possible inflammation of his throat. Two days later his breathing had gotten worse so we took him to a more advanced veterinarian center. After XRays and blood work we were told he tested positive for Cushing’s disease (advanced stage) and had double pneumonia. His liver was almost 6x normal size and was pushing up against all his other vital organs and against his diaphragm and heart.

    We used to teasingly say he was our little sausage boy (so much guilt now) not realizing he probably hadn’t felt good for a few years but he never complained or demanded attention. If me or my wife couldn’t sleep, he would always come out and check on us. I’d say “I’m OK Oliver go back to bed.” He would repeat this every hour until you came to bed.

    He was in & out of the hospital for the next 10 days. On Aug 2 we took him back to be put to sleep as breathing got quite labored. While waiting I placed him on the scale to check his weight and he went from 11.5 lbs 2 weeks earlier to just over 7 lbs (40% loss). The vet told us to give the Cushing’s medicine a try since we couldn’t give it to him earlier due to vomiting. At least we would know we tried everything. He said it just might shrink his liver enough to allow him to breath better. With renewed hope, we took Oliver and his sister Lolly to Ventura beach as he loved to go the beach. He was so happy when we got there sticking his head out the window. We put him in our doggy stroller we had bought 8 years earlier but never used so he wouldn’t have to expend too much energy. We walked along the beach and then downtown. We were all so happy. The next day he seemed to make a turn for the better. His breathing was a little less labored and not as rapid. He even ran to the door 3x that day barking, his usual MO.

    August 4 I awoke around 4 am to the sound of Oliver struggling to breathe and he was scared. We knew it was time, so we rushed him down and at 5:20am had him put to sleep. My wife and I have been around many family members dying but we have never cried like we have with Oliver’s passing. We are devastated–probably a combination of him being the sweetest dog I’ve ever had and guilt knowing he was not well for some time. We had even taken him to a national recogized dog dermatologist 3 months earlier who should have known his skin itching, pot bellied stomach were all signs of Cushings. Had we known then we may still have our precious Oliver for years to come with treatment. Doubly sad, not one of our kids has called to say they are sorry (I know he is just a dog). Only a short text from one, the others nothing. That’s why we cry uncontrollably, Oliver loved us more than our family and we couldn’t save him.

  • Cindy

    Cindy

    September 21st, 2017 at 3:36 PM

    I just went through the sudden euthanization of my Boston Terrier yesterday. Shocking doesn’t even cover it. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. The grief is almost too much.

  • d d

    d d

    February 21st, 2018 at 7:43 AM

    I know exactly what you are going through and I am going through the same thing after the loss about one month ago of our 6 year old boston who was our bestest boy baby and like our child, he did not wrong. he got a neck spine issue out of nowhere, which our first boston got as well at a older age but came out of it with treatment, however our buster could not kick it and it came suddenly from chasing squirrels in the yard and he came in with a stiff neck and in pain. misdiagnosed by our vet and it took 3 vets even me telling them what was wrong before he was finally treated for the right problem and then over a couple of weeks started to recover then last pill took a bad turn to worse and just a few days we had to euthanize him as he was paralyzed could not move eat drink potty or anything overnight. had to watch him 2 hours before vet opened in the morning to take him, it was such a sudden thing that it has me in a tail spin. my first boy lived 18 years old was a boston and 3 weeks later we got this baby boy. i miss the life in the house but dont want to replace as there will never be a replacement for him but i miss the life he brought and joy. i cry daily seeing his little face trusting me when they had to put the port in his foot for the injection and i cant get that out of my head. it is horrible. it was like losing any loved one in death. i know we did the right thing but feel we were robbed and it was so sudden. i look at puppies bostons again and just love them but i feel so painful to try and replace my boy. i am so messed up and just feel i wont get over this and stop seeing his face wondering what was going on. know you are not alone with your pain.

  • Charlie.D

    Charlie.D

    April 27th, 2018 at 9:49 PM

    My 10 yr old malamute x was put to sleep yesterday for the exact same reason, we just didn’t discover the huge tumor until after he was gone and his body had totally relaxed. He suddenly got sick 2.5 weeks ago, started with hemorrhaging through his nose so I rushed him to the vet, tests were done and he was diagnosed with an autoimmune deficiency where his body was killing of his platelets. His count was 11, it should have been between 200-500. He was put on high doses of meds which stopped the bleeding from his nose and the bruising and bleeding under his skin but he was still very ill but trying his best to be his cheerful self. I was at the vet with him almost every single day with him cos his deficiency was life threatening by itself and when he really didn’t look good he had to go to the vet immediately. 2 days ago he started having extremely bloody stools so I rushed him back to the vet who kept him there to do more tests and then suddenly his red blood cell count was dangerously low and white blood cell count was extremely high and his platelets were only 25( even after 2.5 weeks of hectic meds), my vet tells me he has a bone marrow leukemia too now and he is bleeding into his gut which is why he is just passing blood now and there is nothing medically more we can do for him. He also lost 8kg within 2 weeks and the huge abdominal tumor had riddled his body full of cancer too. I was heartbroken from the 1 time he got ill and diagnosed and I was somehow trying to prepare myself for the worst from that day but nothing can prepare you. I don’t feel guilty or confused cos he was so very sick and obviously suffering even though he was trying not to show it and being such a brave boy, I just miss him so much and the pain is indescribable. My chest is physically sore. I don’t have kids so he was my boy for 10 yrs and I’m struggling to cope, last night was the 1st night without him and I couldn’t sleep. He has left a huge void in my life. Him getting so sick and suffering like that has even put me off wanting to have any other pets, I don’t ever want to experience trying my utmost to save and help my animal who I love so much, just to be told sorry nothing is helping and he is still suffering and dying so all you can do now is put it down now. The pain is too much.

  • Ken H.

    Ken H.

    October 31st, 2018 at 4:59 AM

    Hi Jen. I had to put my Boxer, “Rocky,” down last week. He was twelve year’s old; it just broke my heart having to put him down. His mind was strong but his body was giving out on him. I know what you had to go through; I’m certainly experiencing the grief, loss and guilt of having to put him to sleep. Because of my religious beliefs, I firmly believe that I will see him again, waiting for me. I have a calendar with a pic of a boxer for each month; for the month of October, there’s a young boxer in a field of flowers looking up and into the camera. This is what I picture when I get to heaven: Rocky in a field of flowers looking up at me; welcoming me to heaven.

  • Lyn

    Lyn

    September 26th, 2017 at 6:37 AM

    Kay, I went through the same thing 5-1/2 months ago with my dog. The grief is disabling at times. I can struggle through most days, but my dog slept with me. I even feel her jump up on the bed and lie down next to me in my sleep. Your friends are so fortunate to have you for support. Many people just don’t understand the heartbreak of losing a pet, but especially having to put them to sleep.

  • Kelly P

    Kelly P

    January 11th, 2018 at 4:42 PM

    I can relate to the sleeping on the bed. Tillie slept with me for 12 years. In the early morning she would come get under the covers and snuggle. If I pretended to be asleep she would press her head hard against mine. I miss her with every fiber of my being.

  • Pat

    Pat

    October 18th, 2017 at 2:46 PM

    My sister had her rescue collie put to sleep a few weeks ago I’m really worried for her as generally she is a very strong person. How can I help her

  • Rose N.

    Rose N.

    October 20th, 2017 at 5:37 AM

    On October 17th 2017 day before his birthday, I had to put my beloved Beau golden retriever to sleep, he would have been 14. He had vertigo due to complications and not being able to walk. I am devastated and still trying to cope. We do have another dog at home and she’s wondering where he is. I know how you feel, it’s very sad for the whole family. We just have to take it one day at a time it is like losing a family member because they are your children. He wa 8wks old when I got him he was not an ordinary dog he was human in a dog’s body… I loved him so much and I miss him dearly and I will see him again on the Rainbow Bridge. In memory of my beautiful golden retriever Beau cephus… mama loves you boy

  • Cath B

    Cath B

    March 14th, 2018 at 10:34 AM

    I just had to make that horrible decision yesterday for our golden retriever. She was our first baby. Got her at 8 weeks as well and she lived to 15 years, 3 months. The vet said that’s really good for a golden. My husband and I weren’t sure if we were going to decide to do it but after talking to the vet and having them make us see her from their perspective, we decided it was best. I am truly amazed at how fast it happens and how peaceful they do seem afterwards. We have another dog who is 13 years (Aussie). And he ripped my heart out last night walking around the house looking for her. We cried most the night and today feels like I’m barely able to focus on anything. The guilt is eating me up and I have also been sick to my tummy as others have mentioned. It does help talking about it and reading all the love everyone has for their pets. I can be happy that our baby lived so long and basically pain free the whole time. Breaks my heart to think of so many other pets/animals that do not have loving homes. I lost my dad about 4 years ago and this loss is so much different that it doesn’t make sense to me yet. She truly was one of our kids and had gone through so much with us. So tough to explain to our young boys that she was gone. Sometimes I wish I still had the resiliency of kids though to get through it. I know we are in for a long grieving process and I am already dreading thinking of our Aussie making that journey. I hope that our grief and my guilt pass fairly quick. It’s unbearable especially at night. My heart goes out to everyone here.

  • Debbie

    Debbie

    August 19th, 2018 at 1:50 PM

    We lost our precious little westie “Buster” yesterday. He was with us 12 1/2 years. He was like a child to me, followed me everywhere, slept with me, was so sweet and lovable. I can’t express in words just how empty my world is without him. I love and miss him so much. Buster was diagnosed with a double heart murmur almost 2 years ago. We were told he would never get any better and his condition would worsen. At the time of the diagnosis the vet asked if he was coughing, he wasn’t at that time. As time passed he started coughing, just once in awhile in the beginning. We gave him meds to try and help him with the cough but there was not going to be a cure. The cough persisted, he started coughing if he moved to fast, if he got excited when we came home, if it was dinner time and we were putting food in his dish, when he climbed the stairs. Soon he didn’t really want to be outdoors, he didn’t run around the yard anymore, he was still somewhat himself but just not able to run around like he used to. When I saw the vet a few months ago she listed to his heart and looked at me and said he as not getting any better. I asked her when I would know if it would be time to put Buster down. She mentioned if he stopped eating for a few days, his actions or inactions would tell me when it would be the time to let him go. That day was Friday, he wouldn’t eat, was very lethargic. I put a blanket down in the livingroom and he laid there all night and didn’t move. The next morning my husband called the vet and we were told to bring him in. I went upstairs to get dressed because I had been with him all night. When I came down the steps I heard the doggie door. Suddenly Buster came into the foyer and he wagged his tail. I broke down and sobbed, we had to make a decision to take him in or cancel the appointment. We tried to feed Buster again but he wouldn’t eat. We ended up taking him in, the vet said we did the right thing, but I am feeling like maybe I should have waited. I know he had some good moments but I know he was suffering too, it was such a hard decision to make. I must say that he did go peacefully and I am glad he no longer is suffering and he’s running free across that rainbow bridge. I sure hope I will be able to see him again when my time comes.

  • Murray

    Murray

    August 20th, 2014 at 3:48 PM

    There is always that sense of guilt to deal with, wondering if you could have something more to change the outcome or the end result. Normally this is not true but you do often wonder if there was more that you could have done.

  • Gordon D.

    Gordon D.

    July 11th, 2017 at 5:16 AM

    My Maltese of 10 years old had some trouble breathing and sometime cough and nothing came up. Took him to the vets. and they said he had a heart murmur and took x-rays and said he had an oversize heart and would have to put him in a oxygen tent for 4 hrs. I told them he was never in a cage . I would even stay with him at the groomers. 1 hr. later they called us and said he was dying and we hurried there and he died in our arms. This happen so quick and I blame them because I felt so guilty about not being there for him.They told us he would have died at home that day.

  • Sullivan

    Sullivan

    August 21st, 2014 at 3:41 AM

    There are probably even some support groups in your area for those who are feeling the same kind of pain over losing a pet.

  • Gordon

    Gordon

    July 12th, 2017 at 6:29 PM

    It takes so long to get over the lost of a pet Max was like a son we never had. It’s going to take a long time.

  • Cheri

    Cheri

    August 21st, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    Sometimes there is no time to prepare for the grief. You don’t think that today could be your last day with this pet but for some of us this is the kind of experience that we have had with the loss of this pet. I know that it has to be hard to lose a pet to a prolonged illness, but in those cases you have had time to prepare for that loss and maybe even come to terms with what the inevitable outcome will be. But when you lose that pet quickly or unexpectedly then it can be even harder because you go from having that four legged friend to not having them and that can leave a terrible void in your life for any one of us. I would say that losing my dog was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to live through because he loved me unconditionally and when you lose hom you also feel like you don’t have that kind of love from anyone else.

  • Shelly Q

    Shelly Q

    May 9th, 2017 at 7:58 AM

    I know how you feel with the pain and suffering, I feel like the hurt will never go away. I had to put my aggressive beagle down April 15 , 2017 and it was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do in my life. I lost my sister in 2010 I lost my mom in 2014 and lost my dad in 2016. And losing buddy [ that was his name] I believe was harder and I know it sounds selfish, but I was so close to him and he was so close to me, that we had a bond tighter than I had with my husband, and he helped me through alot of pain through some difficult marriage things and family things with my children, he was always there to cheer me up. It really helps to reads these stories , because it makes me feel Im not alone with my guilt and grief and lost feeling and dont know what to do. But I know that God is going to help me get through this, but I feel like when I do start moving on that Buddy will be forgotten and dont want that ever to happen so I have placed pictures over his box of ashes and pictures all in the living room and I have the video of his last walk to the animal shelter, he was happy and he knew how much mom mom loved him and still does. IT was a gut wrenching decision that I had put off for years, but he bit a neighbor which had never ever happened for just coming to the door with a package so I knew it was getting worse and when I have those feeling s of guilt and gut wrenching “WHY DID I DO IT” feelings, I think of the two little boys that the neighbor he bit , could come to the door and if he bit them he may not let go and if he killed them I would up for murder because I knew he had bit in the past. I was bit atleast 10 times, and other family members in house were bit. He bit me the day I put him down, it was a deep bite on my wrist , I bled alot, but thank God it didnt hit my artery or I would have been at the hospital. When we bought Buddy from Just Puppies on York Road they said he was a full bread beagle but I am not sure, he had all the qualities of a beagle, but maybe he had mental health issues , and I checked out the breaders that he came from and they were on the top list of bad breaders in the US,he was being treated for neck pain before he passed, so maybe all of that had something to do with it, but we brought a trainer in, and it didnt help, we had no control over him, if we tried he bit us. , if he had a toy he wouldnt give it up and if you tried to get it he would bite you, if he had a treat he would maw you if you tried to take it. SO I know this was long but it really helps me get it out of my system to now that I did the right thing, and I really hope the cartoon is right and all dogs do go to heaven, because I would live to see him again, I miss you my booga booga booga, that was his nickname for mom mom Never forgotten, always in my heart. I love you buddy

  • Ralph

    Ralph

    May 30th, 2017 at 9:35 AM

    I’m going over all these comments and yours jumped out at me. A friend recommended I go to this site to help with grief I am feeling. Our 3 year old Russian Blue cat Zoey died on Sunday night. Without warning and suddenly. Noticed her at 10pm not herself. she started vomiting white foam. Drove her to the vet immediately. She was hypothermic and having trouble breathing. Drs suspected a blockage and opened up her stomach. Saw her stomach was extremely ulcerated. They did everything they could to keep her alive for over 3 hours but she just wasn’t responding to the medication or doctors efforts. My family and I are shattered beyond belief. Im a 48 year old adult male and I’ve been crying nonstop for 2 days. My heart aches with indescribable pain. This cat was like another child to my wife and I and a sibling to our 11 year old daughter. I keep hoping its a dream. I woke up the last 2 days from the little sleep I’ve gotten hoping beyond hope that she will be on our bed. The reality washes over me and i fall back into that deep chasm of sadness. When its all said and done, the only thing that could have given her that level of toxicity to poison her like that were mothers day flowers bought two weeks ago that he had on our kitchen counter. The guilt is killing me. why didn’t I throw them away. she was not known to jump on counters so I never even thought this could happen. I wasn’t this upset when my father died many years ago but that is because we had time to process his death that was slowly happening. It’s the shock and suddenness that hurts the most. 4 hours earlier she seemed normal, then in the blink of an eye she was gone.

  • Bee

    Bee

    June 28th, 2017 at 9:57 AM

    my condolence on your loss

  • billy p

    billy p

    July 27th, 2017 at 4:05 PM

    i m 61 and had to put my 13 year old dog to sleep 2 days ago. bruschi was my first dog.he was the kindest soul ever. he never growled/ he never nipped or bit anyone/he loved me so much as i did him. i have uncontrolable grief just thinking about all the things we did. i never felt this sad in my whole life and i have lost people. i think its cause he loved me nomatter what i did. im heartbroken

  • Diane

    Diane

    August 2nd, 2017 at 5:11 AM

    Dear Billy, my beloved Newfoundland was diagnosed with bone cancer. We have him for 8 years, 4 months. The vet is coming to our house Friday August 4th 2017. This hit us hard. Never, ever have I experienced this strong of heart breaking emotions. My best friend, my beloved, my protector, my companion. Peace be with you. My Grizzley will go to the rainbow bridge, until I pick him up when I will join him on our journey home together.

  • Mamie j

    Mamie j

    August 22nd, 2014 at 3:51 AM

    Just like with the loss of a human frined, the death of a pet can be so devastating.
    If this is happening with someone that you know, don’t belittle them and tell them to just go ahead and get another dog.
    Would it make you feel any better if you lost a family member and someone told you to just go ahead and get remarried or have another child?
    This is the same thing- be sensitive to their grief and sadness.

  • My Blog

    My Blog

    June 15th, 2017 at 1:16 PM

    Hi there colleagues, its wonderful piece of writing
    on the topic of cultureand fully defined, keep it
    up all the time.

  • treena

    treena

    August 23rd, 2014 at 5:37 AM

    I love my dogs so much that I am not sure that I would ever be able to make this kind of decision on my own. I guess that if I saw them hurting and in real pain, I would find a way to do it for them but the loss just feels like it would be too much to bear. My dogs are truly my family and that would hurt more than anything… but I suppose that I would never want to see them suffering wither. It is a horrible decision and while I know that the loss of one of them will eventually be inevitable it is not something that I ever like to really think about.

  • Sylvia

    Sylvia

    August 25th, 2014 at 10:42 AM

    The writing really can help you get out those things that you are feeling guilty about in a way that is very therapeutic and meaningful to you. This can be wonderful for dealing with those losses that you are experiencing and hopefully then letting go of much of the pain that you are feeling. You do not have to feel guilty about the choice that you have had to make. This is not a choice that anyone ever wants to have to make but at the same time you don’t want for your pet to have to suffer either. This is never going to be an easy thing. Just know that you should not have to feel guilty for taking the sction that you felt that you had to do because you did it out of loave and not hatred.

  • Jay

    Jay

    September 23rd, 2015 at 3:06 AM

    Yes…I totally agree..writing and sharing the positive thoughts does help and pushes back the negative that keeps coming back again.The beauty of life is in sharing and caring and enjoying every moment with those close to you.It’s the memories we leave behind that matters more.

  • Jorge D.

    Jorge D.

    August 28th, 2014 at 4:01 AM

    There is absolutely nothing that will be easy about this unless you stop to remember how much better off the animal is now and is not hurting any more.

  • Pam

    Pam

    February 11th, 2015 at 3:43 PM

    We put our 12 1/2 year old husky lab down yesterday. Zeke was completely deaf, had bad hips, and a large inoperable tumor that was partially obstructing his rectum. We told ourselves that we would put him down when he stopped eating, stopped pooping, or stopped walking. However, he was in obvious pain. He fell coming up and down the stairs. We had a brace for him to assist him on the stairs but starting waking us up every couple of hours to go outside. It seemed the only joy he got was his five minute meal time. The rest of the time he was merely existing so we put him down. Today I feel unbelievable guilt and pain. Zeke yelped when they administered the final dose and we had to hold him down. It was over in seconds. I feel I failed him. I was supposed to take care of him and protect him. Instead we drove him to the vet, laid him down in the grass on his blanket, held him down and ended his life. I keep telling myself that Zeke is no longer in pain but did we do this too soon? Did he know what we were doing and was trying to tell us he wasn’t ready? Did we betray him? We loved Zeke and took him everywhere with us and in the end, he was not the same dog. But was this just part of getting old? Did I just put my dog down because he was old? Was he really ready? What have we done? I can offer myself no comfort. Yes, he’s no longer in pain and no longer at risk of falling down the stairs. Yes, I can say he doesnt have to deal with the couple of bloody cysts that would occsssionally erupt. But was he okay with these things? He never cried but his body language said he was in pain. But was it too much for him or was he managing? I wish I could have asked him. I wish I didn’t feel this guilt. I wish he was still here. I miss you Zeke. I love you.

  • Malinda

    Malinda

    December 7th, 2015 at 6:28 AM

    I feel exactly as you say here. And it’s a horrible feeling. My boy still was excited at mealtime but that was just about it. He had a tumor blocking his nutrition and it looked like he was starving to death. He was starting to have diarrhea right where he laid at night. My guilt is because we took him to the spca rather than a vet and they wouldn’t let us go back with him. So we parted at the door where they take him back and when she started walking him back, he stopped and looked back at me like where are you going. Broke my heart I couldn’t be with him to ease his fears and make him comfortable as he left us.

  • Melanie

    Melanie

    June 26th, 2016 at 8:25 AM

    I understand your post completely! My 14.5 year old lab was diagnosed with a tumour on his leg 2 months ago. It’s been steadily affecting his mobility, until he can barely walk. I know he must be in pain, he’s more lethargic and the vet is coming tomorrow so he can fall asleep on the couch being stroked. But… I’m not 100% sure now is the right time. What if he would still rather battle on? Still spend his evenings curled up on the sofa being loved? Am I being selfish because I really really don’t want to let him go?

  • Dallas M

    Dallas M

    July 12th, 2016 at 6:41 AM

    You stated exactly what I am feeling. I put my boy Duke down on Saturday. Who was I to make that choice? I loved him more than anyone, but who gave me the power to do so? I am heartbroken and feeling guilty.

  • Melanie

    Melanie

    July 12th, 2016 at 12:00 PM

    Dallas, I know it’s so hard, but you have no reason to feel guilty (I’m going through the same thing). You loved your dog and you did the hardest thing you had to do because of your love. It’s not easy, it’s bloody horrific. It’s been two weeks since I said goodbye to mine and I miss him so much. I just want to stroke his velvet pouches again.

  • Cory

    Cory

    July 12th, 2017 at 12:18 AM

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Bee. I had to put my cat Bob (and best buddy of 10 years) to sleep on this last Sunday. He had been having issue with labored breathing throughout the day and seemed to be getting worse, Took him to the Emerg Vet and within 10 minutes I had to make the most heartbreakingly devastasting decision I have ever had to make. He was absolutely my little baby boy as well. I am a 44 year old big lug of a man and have been nearly inconsolable for the last two days – I can’t seem to find words that describe the level of intensity of absolutely pure sadness and sorrow that has completely overtaken my being. I like you, am wondering how somebody ever gets through this type of pain and then somehow thinks it would be a good idea to start over again down the exact path that will inevitably end in that very same pain. I just don’t know. Time will tell….

  • Luanne

    Luanne

    August 12th, 2016 at 8:08 AM

    oh Pam, this is exactly how I am feeling right now. We had to put our 12.5 husky/mastiff down on Wed night. Other than a bad back he still seemed like his self, we knew time was getting short as he seemed very uncomfortable but certainly didn’t seem like he was suffering. I had him at the vet on Monday to change meds and by that aft he was stumbling around and then gone by Wed, even Wed he went for his walk, lay outside in the sun but he couldn’t keep food down and was drinking a ton which was odd for him. Once he was dry heaving I just said to my husband he has to go now I couldn’t watch him suffer through the night. Now I wonder did I jump the gun, maybe he was just sick that day, the guilt and what ifs are killing me, I miss him more than anything. Thankfully we have 2 others here that provide some comfort. I just hope this chest crushing pain starts to subside, I am going to try the letter as suggested in the article. It sucks to lose them so bad.

  • anonymous

    anonymous

    November 21st, 2016 at 6:09 PM

    I understand completely the guilt that goes along with such a difficult decision. We had to make the same decision 2 weeks ago, and I can not get past the self doubt, guilt, sadness, etc. Our 12 year old malamute had been diagnosed with diabetes about a month ago, and was doing pretty good with the twice a day insulin shots we were giving him. He had chronic pancreatitis which probably was the cause of the diabetes, and was also arthritic. He went completely blind, basically overnight, about 2 weeks after the diabetes diagnosis and was having a tough time adjusting. We were seeing a specialist about maybe cataract surgery to help him see again, when glaucoma suddenly developed and he needed both eyes removed immediately to reduce the pain he was in. We were beside ourselves with this decision – he was not dealing with his blindness well, was an older dog, had pancreatitis, arthritis, and diabetes – we decided to put him down instead of having his eyes removed. This decision has caused so much heartache, and I can not stop thinking we made the wrong decision. It has been 2 weeks and I am crying everyday, and going over and over the last visit to the vet, and wishing more than anything in the world I could back to that day and make a different choice. How do people get past this?

  • Anna

    Anna

    January 10th, 2017 at 5:44 PM

    I feel the same way. I feel sick and can’t sleep I feel like how does the vet no really I feel like I made the wrong decision I want him back. I feel for you cause I feel the same way. Will never have another dog after going through what I went through

  • Jennifer

    Jennifer

    January 27th, 2017 at 6:26 AM

    I put my 16 1/2 year old dog down last week 1/17/16 her name is Angel and I’m having a very difficult time, I’m feeling heartbroken and I can’t forgive myself. She had been sick for about a week and would not eat, she was losing control of her back legs a bit. I thought if she is not better by Monday I’ll take her to the vet, I called her vet and they could not get her in until 2:30 so I asked if there was another vet they recommend because I think she needs to be seen right away we took her where they recommended and they said she had severe kidney failure and they would put her on an IV with Antibiotics and keep her over night she has a 50/50 chance but if that didn’t work we would need to put her down. I went back later in the day and visited Angel she was so happy to see us my husband, me and my son, she was weak from not eating and she never has been in the hospital before she cried to come home and they thought she would not make it through the night she was sad because we were not with her. The vet called the next day and said it didn’t work and we need to put her down. We got there and they handed Angel to me she was sick still would not eat I held her kissed her for about an hour and just was devastated they came in and put her down in my arms and I haven’t stopped crying since, I’m a mess. I have to work so I do my best my eyes are so sore and red from crying yet i have to be at work, I’m weak I just don’t want to go anywhere. I feel sick inside and guilty why didn’t we take her home and try something else, or go to her vet get a second opinion, I will never forgive myself for not doing that. I’m angry with this vet they should know we are confused and not thinking right when they tell you you need to put your pet down, she was doing good just 6 days prior considering her age. I’m just devastated and I don’t know how to move forward, Angel was my baby and I’m heartbroken. I’m not sure how to get past the guilt either, maybe our dogs are glad to be at peace but I’m sick inside for not thinking straight and at least take her home 1 more day, get a second opinion something before having that vet put her down. I couldn’t have loved my dog anymore, and I’m depressed, and feel so my guilt as well. The only way to get past this, is knowing they are at peace now and we will see them again. I love you Angel, I’m so sorry. I am Angels Mom and I miss her terribly.

  • Amber

    Amber

    February 23rd, 2018 at 11:43 AM

    My dog went through this exact same thing only he had diabetic ketoacidosis along with a lame arthritic leg and cataracts developing. His liver and pancreas were effected by this as well. He started drinking tons of water and had extreme diarrhea and potty accidents all the time. He stopped eating all together. He was severely boney which was hard to notice right away because he was a fluffy Australian Shepherd. His name was Abbott. I made the decision to put him down on February 21st, 2018. He died at 7:30 pm. He was in the pet hospital overnight and they had given him fluids and insulin. His blood sugar was still high and he was panting super hard and very tired but so happy to see me and my daughter. He still had light in his eyes but so very tired. His mouth was dry and his nose too. He had been through enough and I felt it was time to choose. But did I make the choice he wanted? I don’t think so and he would have tried to hold on no matter how much suffering he endured. His name was Abbott, he would have been 12 years old in March. He was so very very beautiful and kind. Abbott was everyone’s dog. I love him so much. I don’t know how to make this lump in my throat go away. I feel so much guilt. I keep seeing him laying next to me and my daughter lifeless. I don’t know how to stop seeing that. I can’t stop thinking I could have done more. I keep going back and forth and wanting him back so badly and then feeling selfish for wanting him back. I feel fine for a moment then I see it again and again. It’s like a huge wave crashing into me and knocking me back into the reality of my Abbott’s absence. The stains on the floor from his accidents used to be eyesores me but now I look at them and am grateful that they are there. This grief is insane. I’ve got stains to sooth me now. I love you Abbott. You gave your family so much.

  • Anna

    Anna

    January 10th, 2017 at 5:40 PM

    We just put our 16 1/2 beechunpoo down on Friday. He couldn’t walk and couldn’t breath. My husband and I have been crying ever since I feel guilt so bad. I will never do this ever again . I can!t sleep and feel sick every day. Miss him so much . I feel like should I have done that. Everyday I feel sad and sick

  • anonymous

    anonymous

    January 12th, 2017 at 12:13 PM

    It is very hard to get past. It’s been a couple of months now, and it is a little better, but not much. All I know is I loved my dog so very much, and it seemed to be the right decision at the time. I still feel like I would love to go back and make a different choice, though. Please don’t make the choice to never get another dog – they need people like you who care so much. It is very hard, I understand.

  • Andy

    Andy

    April 9th, 2017 at 3:11 AM

    Anna ime with you at the moment just had my 10 year old staffy put down he had a tumor the size of a lemon on his spleen I didn’t want it to burst and watch him bleed out he was losing loads of weight and had marks on his liver and was also very anemic the vet said we could remove his spleen but he might only live for 1 to 3 months after he had a funny turn on Thursday afternoon he went weak and disorientated and wouldn’t settle we stayed up with him all night in the morning I went to the vet to discuss what to they said he was probably bleeding inside so we had him put to sleep I didn’t want him to suffer …..Now 2 days on the guilt has set in should I of done this maybe I should of done that it’s Torture but my kids just tell me you loved him enough to end his suffering and that’s what you did …..

  • Tracy

    Tracy

    March 23rd, 2017 at 5:58 PM

    We just put our 14 year old black lab down and you explained EXACTLY how I feel. Bud had the same issues. I took him for a final walk around the neighborhood and he would go through the motions of going to the bathroom but nothing came out. His back legs gave out twice and he just looked at me with sad eyes. I know in my heart it was the right thing but that doesn’t make it any easier.

  • Kathy S

    Kathy S

    February 20th, 2015 at 6:51 AM

    I can fully understand and sympathize what you are going through Pam. I feel the same way about my jack russel, Mandy. She had reached 16 1/2 and was falling down the stairs, up the stairs, weeing and pooing in the house and on my sons bed. She had arthritis in her back legs and cataracts in both eyes, her left eye was worse but her right vision was deteriorating too. When out walking she used to walk into lamp posts and fall off the curbs and would rear up when she could see what was in front of her. The sun was shining through some bushes one day and she flickered her eyelids while rearing and withdrawing. We too told ourselves that once we believed she was suffering we would put her to sleep as we believed it was the best for her. Mandy also began waking us up during the night too to do her business and this was causing us to tired during the day. Like you Zeke, she just seemed to be existing, most of the time she would sleep or rest in her bed or on our beds. I think now that maybe her just existing was ok and acceptable? I too feel guilt and pain as I question, did I just put my pet down because she was old and making the house smell? I feel tremendous guilt as I took her to the vet and handed her over to be euthanised. I didnt stay with her as I couldnt bear the pain of seeing her leave us, I feel like I abandoned her at a crucial point in her life. The vet was understanding; a lovely woman. I was with my mum when she died recently and I just couldnt handle seeing someone I love die again. I feel so selfish now. I saw her this week before her cremation and she had a shaved patch and blood on her leg, the sight of this blood made my guilt even stronger. Were strangers inflicting pain on her and was she looking for me all the while? My heart breaks and I would do anything to have her back. Was it too soon? Could she have made another couple of years? Or was it the right time? like Pam, I wish I couldve asked him if he was ok for the time being. In the vets she was pulling towards the exit. With all my heart, I wish I had ran out of there with her.

  • Malinda

    Malinda

    December 7th, 2015 at 6:34 AM

    I wish I would have left with my boy and gone somewhere I could have been with him while they did it. My guilt is more related to leaving him at the door worth them and not going back with him. They didn’t give me that opportunity too goo back with him and I should have Ben with him. He could have lasted longer if I chose to wait but I don’t know how much longer. He was only going to get worse.but I feel guilty leaving him alone and not being with him.

  • Lisa

    Lisa

    February 26th, 2015 at 4:56 PM

    I recently had to put my beloved cat of almost 15 years down because she was experiencing organ failure and was incredibly sick and weak. While I don’t feel guilt over my decision because as her “mother” I feel it was my duty to help her in a way she could not help herself, I still feel the pain and emptiness of losing her every day. I made a memorial to her and it has helped me alot to honor her in this way. Nothing will ever replace Laura, but I am comforted by knowing she had a very happy life and that one day we will meet again in the after life. Even though I am an MFT student and understand grief more than I ever did, nothing prepares you for losing someone you love.

  • Cameron

    Cameron

    June 2nd, 2015 at 3:46 PM

    We
    put our 13 year old Scnauzer down because of cancer. It was the hardest choice we have ever had to make. It feels like we lost a family member. I know though she is in a better place.

  • Claire

    Claire

    June 4th, 2015 at 8:31 PM

    Today I had a cat euthanized for the first time. He was part of a local cat colony who I had been visiting and feeding for a month. He was the only one who enjoyed being petted and watched me as I left. He had massive matts and sores on his back so I took him to the vet to seen if anything could be done to improve his quality of life. He also had a breathing problem and seems weak and I knew there was a chance he had serious issues. turns out he had a feline immune disease and wouldn’t have long. He could also pass his immune disease on to other cats so its not like I could take him home or back to the colony. He was so weak, skinny and struggling to breathe. I made the decision and the vet agreed. it was still hard. I petted him for a long time and let him know he was loved. his death was so peaceful, being held and cared for. He wasn’t technically my cat and we didn’t have that much history but I am still grieving him. I know I did everything right by him I just wished I could have given him more. I’ve had a cat and dog die in the last few years naturally and its still hard. Seeing this cat being put down though makes me more comfortable with that option I didn’t know it was so peaceful and not a major procedure.

  • offie w.

    offie w.

    June 18th, 2015 at 8:12 AM

    6/17/2015. I put down my little buddy. he had chf. l have so must guilt that it hurts. I can’t stop crying. I just want him back. I know he would of only got worse. he had taken all the meds they could give him. but all he could was cough and hack under any activity and excitement. I did not want him to have to go thru all that was to come. it was one of the hardest things to go thru at the vets. I just held him and loved on him and told him I was so sorry. and he kept licking my tears away. my heart wants him back but my head says I did the right thing. its only been not guitar one day. I just hope and pray I can overcome the guilt.

  • Elizabeth L

    Elizabeth L

    June 21st, 2015 at 8:05 PM

    My friend of 13 years was having serious health issues that were effecting his quality of life. He didn’t fully recover from a cluster seizures on Monday and had to make a decision because he was having pain in his head. The pup I knew and love was no longer there. My heart breaks that I may have failed him in the last 5 months of his life. Will miss him. His stomping feet when he knew a doggie treat was on the way. chasing the UPS truck or sitting on the couch asking for scratches. Best dog ever!! Loved by everyone who met him.

  • BARBORA

    BARBORA

    July 1st, 2015 at 9:50 AM

    I have just made an appointment with vet to let my Frankie run free in 2 days. I feel very sad and guilty, thinking why I have not spent more time with him. He is 13, black lab, my first pet. He came as 11 week old puppy, my first baby.

  • Larry V

    Larry V

    July 16th, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    We had to put our precious baby dog Daisy Mae down tonight and I am devastated. She had three seizures tonight one at the emergency room and the vet. said that she thought it was time to let our daze go. I am not a tough guy and have cried my eyes out ever since we left her. The pain is overwhelming. Not having her here to care for her is sooo painful. Daisy Mae my little girl I love you so. My life will never be the same without you. Hopefully we will see each other again, this is what I will lean on my wonderful baby. Daisy Mae wonderful Pomeranian 11years old RIP

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    July 17th, 2015 at 12:26 PM

    Wishing you the best, Larry!

  • Stephen

    Stephen

    July 24th, 2015 at 12:14 PM

    We are taking Tammy (15) tomorrow to be put down. She is a crossing between a chau and a Labrador. She has arthritis and her kidneys are starting to fail. I honestly don’t know how we are going to cope without her but it is the best for her. We are going to miss her dearly. It is the only humane thing to do as hard as it is.

  • Terry

    Terry

    July 25th, 2015 at 12:21 AM

    Yesterday we had to euthanize our dog Max. It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do even though I know it was the best thing for Max. He was 15 and been battling fluid buildup in his lungs due to heart failure. I am struggling with the loss of Max. He was with me almost everywhere I went. He seemed to understand when I as sad and would sit down and lean against me letting me know he was there. I am supposed to be a big tough man but this experience has brought me to tears more in the past 24 hours than the rest of my 47 years combined. I am sure the pain I am feeling will fade but the loving memories of Max will remain for a lifetime and I will never forget my best friend Max. RIP pupster!

  • Mich

    Mich

    August 31st, 2015 at 6:09 AM

    I put my Sandy down on 12 Aug 2015 , my pet dog of 16 and half years old.i got her when she was 6 weeks old. She was my first daughter. She had bad rotten teeth in her old age and was on painkillers and anti biotics for some time. I hesitated to let her go for dental treatment as she was tested with kidney failure about a year back and on daily kidney support tablets. Every time she started drooling i will bring her back to the vet for more medication. And she would seem to be better. Until 10 Aug, i knew her teeth pain had gotten much worse. She was drooling badly and She refused to eat for 2 days, kept peeing everywhere and could not stand up straight. Sometimes she would pant heavily. Finally i took her to the vet thinking of letting her go thru dental treatment. But when the vet run tests on her, found that her kidneys had failed 100 %. And she was very weak temp verylow. I decided to put her down. It was the hardest decision of my life.till now i cant stop feeling guilty.i wish i had her back. I wish no one had invented this drug to put an animal down. I wonder how i will get over this pain.i miss her so much. Yet i did not want her to die while i was at work. It is all too confusing. I just keep thinking what if this what if that. If i did not want to put her down…. I love her so much.. She was my everything… Yet I could not bear the pain she has to go thru. She is in better place now without the pain. I dreamt of her 2 nites ago living in a wooden house on the mountains.

  • Jay

    Jay

    September 23rd, 2015 at 2:57 AM

    I’m sorry for your loss.I had to put my best friend of 15 years down last Friday and I still feel guilty about it.He wasn’t able to stand or walk anymore.I keep telling myself that I could have postponed the euthanasia and kept him around…but that would be selfish and not fair to him as he wasn’t able to do what he does best…be my companion.
    I understand what you’re going through and time heals all pain..just remember that even though they are not with us physically….they live within us in our thoughts,memories and in our heart.I know I will be with him again.Death is not the end…it’s just the transition of world’s.

  • Ethan

    Ethan

    December 18th, 2015 at 9:40 PM

    I had my dog for 13 out of 15 years of my life so far and he got put down August 14 of 2015. all I’ve done recently was cried because he all I really had to be happy.

  • Todd

    Todd

    September 8th, 2015 at 9:13 PM

    It’s midnight and I can’t sleep.
    My little Yorkie buddy, Joe B, has been with us for 8 years now. The best little man. Never complaining about his arthritis, his seizures, his diabetes, his seemingly untreatable coughing.
    We spent what amounted to a new vehicle. And went without that vehicle because we couldn’t afford it.
    Joe B, I will miss you terribly. I deeply regret never finishing the patio that I just know would have brought you so much joy, absorbing the sun with your eyes tight little slits.
    You loved cheese hunts so much. But in the past two weeks even cheese hunts … no, even “freshly made bacon with melted cheese” hunts just weren’t the same. I feel so guilty for what I’m about to do it tears my heart apart.
    I love you little man, but it’s time. You are suffering more than you are happy.
    You’ll always be in our hearts. You were my best little snuggling buddy ever.
    I love you Joe B. I hope you understand.

  • Christie J

    Christie J

    September 18th, 2015 at 7:11 PM

    My heart breaks for you and your family.
    I have made this decision twice in 6 months.
    I cry every night , and will until I can’t cry anymore.
    This is the ONLY thing that I have read that gives me even a small sliver of hope for peace .

    “Deep down we somehow always knew this journey would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken. But give them we must for it is all they ask in return. When the time comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let them run on ahead — young and whole once more. ”

    “Godspeed, good friend,” we say, until our journey comes full circle and our paths cross again.”

    Peace to you.

  • Laurie

    Laurie

    October 2nd, 2017 at 5:49 AM

    Our dog was named Chaos she was a Chihuahua . I never liked any animal at all ! She taught me to love most animals. About two weeks ago Chaos started limping, and we noticed a bump on her tail bone it progressed so fast that by the time we took her to the vets which was 9/30/2017. The doctor suggested it was time. So my husband, and I agreed that the vet knows what he is doing and followed his advice. I cannot stop crying , because of the guilt I feel! This was by far the toughest decision I personally have ever had to make. MY husband is also not doing so well. So I understand how your feeling. My husband stayed with her, but I just couldn’t . Now I feel like I abandoned her , but I just couldn’t . It’s only been two days, but the tears keep falling ! I have to keep reminding myself that we gave her the best gift we could, and that was to take her pain away. Anyhow I’m sorry if I’m rambling on, but I just wanted you to know your not alone.

  • SEC

    SEC

    October 7th, 2015 at 7:18 AM

    It’s been 4 days now since we had to put our beloved cat Jordan to sleep. We brought him home at 6 weeks and was with us for 17 1/2 years. The amount of grief and guilt I am feeling is completely overwhelming. I know we gave him such a full life and he provided so much joy to ours. We would go to any length to make sure he was cared for and cannot help but feel we made the decision too soon as he still may have had some good days left in him. He was in kidney failure, receiving sub q fluids, gradually losing weight, vomiting at times and senility was really presenting itself…through it all he still seemed “happy”-was he? He recently started urinating outside of his litter box which he never did before and was extremely restless/confused at night drinking copious amounts of water leading up to our decision. Instead of consulting the vet we made the decision ourselves as going to the vet for more fluids/blood work was stressing on him. Now I am feeling guilty that we didn’t consult/ or go to vet that last time for opinion or do anything more for him that he may have had more time with us. I know it’s sounds selfish but thought he might have had some good days left in him, now I will never know and cannot come to terms with our decision.

  • connie

    connie

    October 15th, 2015 at 5:46 PM

    I went through the exact feelings and situation with my dog just yesterday. He had been urinating every night, even though we would put him outside just before going to bed. He was almost 17 years old, a medium size dog. The past few months we had to keep him in our garage at night. We had made the appt in February to put him down, and changed our mind. Couldn’t do it. As his condition got worst and we had no control over it we made the appt , and the same day we went through with it. Even though I knew it was time I feel so guilty. I know he would have lived longer but with what quality of life. Luke would never mess in the house, never. His back legs were slipping when he would eat from his dish, and there were times when he would just stare straight at a wall for minutes. His hearing was going and there was also a large sore area on his back. But He was such a good dog and obedient. There will never be another like him. I am feeling overwhelmed with guilt too. But i believe we know our pets well. And we have to make the decision for them as hard as it is. All because we don’t want them in pain. Their life is just not what it was when they were young and healthy. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling but pet owners, the caring ones, know when the time has come to make that terrible decision. We have to go on now and think of the happy times and extinguish the not so happy ones. Take care.

  • Jennifer

    Jennifer

    September 28th, 2016 at 7:13 AM

    I dont know how to explain how much i loved my dog Munchy. I think i pretty much lived for him. I came to the decision to have him euthenized monday morning after a terrible weekend of him whimpering and pacing. He had been ill for months but this was new and very distressing he was suddenly in a lot of pain. My son went with us to the vet and provided the backbone i lacked to get it done. To say it almost killed me is not an exageration but it was very quick and the last thing he heard was me telling him how much i loved him. I immedietly stated in with the guilt and doubt did i do the right thing ? I had gone into serious debt trying to get him well then jumped ship over a bad weekend what the heck? He was only 10 . EVeryone tells me i did the right thing but my heart doesnt believe it. I hope i can forgive myself

  • David S

    David S

    September 28th, 2016 at 10:50 PM

    I recently went through the very same thing with my much loved dog Mikki. Had the same feelings of guilt and doubt but when the heartbreak and pain eases a little you will be able to rethink all the things your pup was going through and your vets advice etc. Munchie is God’s pup now and living a wonderful life and you will see him again. I still hurt and still the tears come but what helps me is to just sit down and write about her. I can not say I want closure because I want to remember everything about her. But I do want the pain to go away and writing helps. It can be hard to explain to some people how much you can love a dog but I would not trade my 12 years with her for anything!

  • Kaly C

    Kaly C

    September 29th, 2016 at 4:41 AM

    Hello Jennifer, my heart is very sore for you, just two weeks ago we had to say our goodbyes to one of ours… I really encourage you to please reach out to someone, the 1 thing that is helping me tremendously is that my husband is there, whether i just need to sob or even remember and talk about her. Its like how they say that you never forget but over time it does get easier. I know that you loved your one and you must believe from the bottom of your heart that you took over their pain and made it yours, the 1 last act of love that you could show them.

  • Todd

    Todd

    October 7th, 2015 at 8:53 AM

    SEC, wow. I know EXACTLY what you’re going through. In fact I’m tearing up right now. It was always that question about whether he’d bounce back that caused us so much angst.

    I have found that as time has gone by I’ve been able to see the forest through the trees. All the little problems we addressed and got through we mini sprints where nothing else mattered, other than surviving each crisis. Reflecting on his life we’ve been able to see a steady pattern of changes that have made it much clearer to us that we did the right thing. I won’t go into detail about our case – this is about you. I suspect you were fantastic friends and caretakers to Jordan or you wouldn’t be here. You will get through this and it will become clear to you. The guilt will pass and you will understand and believe that you did the right thing. Good luck.

  • SEC

    SEC

    October 7th, 2015 at 12:49 PM

    Todd-thank you for the words of comfort. I know it will take time to be at peace, just never anticipated feeling this empty and broken hearted…..and soooo regretful in hindsight even though he was elderly and sick.

  • Mike

    Mike

    October 10th, 2015 at 8:54 AM

    My wife Nancy and I had to let our Monty go 10/8/15. Hardest thing we have done. Our post on Facebook.

    Yesterday Mike and I said good bye to our beloved Monty the Magnificent. Just 20 days shy of his 8th birthday we had to let him go. Monty had many health issues and took pills every day. He had learned the command “open” so I could put the pills on the back of his tongue. Our wonderful boy was loved by the dance students and happy to greet the seniors at my mother’s. We added many new friends through Monty-especially his many doctors and vet techs. Monty loved to swim, hike and travel. He had been to all the western states visiting the Grand Canyon Brice canyon Zion Yellowstone Yosemite four corners and every back road his daddy could find along the way! Monty especially loved the beach. His favorite was Carmel beach where he could run without a leash chasing his ball and frolicking with friends. Monty did agility training and from that learned to jump waves with me. Monty loved a good party-more people to throw his ball for him. Monty loved to go shopping. His favorite stores were orchard supply and office max. Sometimes we just went walking in orchard supply to look at things. Monty was never without his ball his toy Twink or a flashlight fairy maker. He especially loved plastic Easter eggs and couldn’t wait for the times I would go in the attic and he could get them. The joy and love he gave us he shared with his many aunties. He was the best
    snuggler kisser shadow and loved his cookies. Saying good bye to him is the hardest thing we have ever done. His spirit is with us. He has joined all the angels that we have said goodbye to in the past and our dear friends and family have said goodbye to. And those that knew him well, knew the command closer and how it worked and we wish he was closer now.

  • Eric

    Eric

    December 18th, 2016 at 2:05 PM

    Holly,the love of my life is now in Heaven with her sister,Chi Chi,and her mother Blueberry till the joyous day when l join them.Holly was my copilot,we made our living this last year delivering new travel trailers to dealerships across the nation.I deceided our last trailer was going to be on November 14th then we were going to go home and enjoy a much deserved quiet winter as we had all bills payed and money saved. As I finished filling the truck up with fuel l noticed Holly was acting differently,l jumped into the truck and she went into a severe seizure. I grabbed held her in my arms and cryed out ,God what is happening. I managed to reach the cell phone and googled closest vet. I called them and told them,I think my dog is dying, they said bring her right in,thank God they were only two miles away. As l got there they were waiting and administered iv valium to stop the seizure. The vet gave phenobarbital and said give twice daily. This last trailer we were delivering was on our route home so we went home first. We managed to get trailer delivered and make it the 300 miles back home. I took Holly to my regular vet on the 16th,vet said decrease medicine as dose was too high.Holly seemed to adjust over the next week but was becoming lame in her front left leg and had a growth that was increasing rapidly. My regular vet was on vacation till December13th so l found another local vet who took x rays, said her lungs were angry pointed out two masses on her lungs and gave deramaxx for inflimation and pain. I was hesitant to give the medication after reading horror stories about this medicine.Holly seemed to be increasingly short of breath in the few days leading up to Sunday night December 4th. As we prepared to go to bed on the 4th Holly began to stretch her body and made wimpering noises,she was also bleeding steadily from a hot spot on her arm which usually does not bleed. At 9pm l called an emergency vet and they said they were there till 730am and to feel free to bring her in at any time. I tried to comfort Holly and deceided we would return to previous vet as they had somewhat of a history on her. The night was the longest,we slept very little. I held her head and stroked her velvet ears all night to try and comfort her,she stared into my eyes as if to tell ,l need to go. At 630am l started the car and got the heat going. I offered her some of her wet food and it was the first time she ever refused. I took her outside,she peed and l put her in her bed on the front passenger seat. We drove to the vet and waited till they opened at 730. I went inside and told the receptionist that my dog had a horrible night and l believe it’s time to put her to sleep. She said vet will be here at 8 and can come out to your car if you wish,l agreed that would be best. I backed up my car under a tree at rear of parking lot and held Holly. At 810 the vet and his tech came to car,as l cuddled Hollys sweet face l told her l loved her as they administered the drug. Holly left this earth very quietly and peacefully in my loving embrace. My heart tells me l did the right thing for her but my mind will not let go. I can’t get out of bed,not eating,cry with such force l choke. I miss her so terribly,she was my last child and my reason,my companion,my love. I too am paralyzed with guilt for having to make the decision to help her pass away. I believe in my heart she was going to suffer a tremendous death and l wanted to save her from that. Holly,I’ll always,always love you

  • Todd

    Todd

    October 11th, 2015 at 3:54 AM

    Wow did Monty have a great life! I drive by a VERY small house on a corner with NO yard and see a medium sized little guy sitting on a stone step leashed to a railing. In the rain. Just looking around.

    I often think of how much good we can do for our beloved companions by giving them such wonderful adventures, belly rubs and just crashing on the couch with them. Doves are incredibly unique in their ability to bond with us.

    I’ll be thinking of Monty the Magnificent today and hoping you find your peace very soon. You were great parents to the little guy!

  • Samantha

    Samantha

    October 27th, 2015 at 1:05 PM

    We just put down our little Lola girl! She was chihuahua Pomeranian mix! She was only a year and 8 months! She was only a baby, our baby. She was perfectly normal then one night she was almost lifeless, with no clue what happened we frantically took her to emergency by that time to much air accumulated in her lungs and lost so much oxygen in her brain she was barely with us, the hardest decision was to put her down for good knowing her chance of recovery was slim. Although we only had her for a short time she was everything to us, especially to our 4 year old. Watching him grieve the lost of his first fur friend was unbeatable. The house feels empty and cold and to quiet. This forum has helped me so much knowing that I am not alone grieving for our beloved fur baby! She meant everything to us. It’s been 3 days and it still feels like a got shot in the chest! My heart is broken and I am scared it will never be healed.

  • Jim

    Jim

    November 6th, 2015 at 7:25 AM

    I recently had to help my buddy pass on. I’m a normal single man in his mid 40’s. I’ve been a great deal through the years, like most adults my age. Parent passing, illnesses with family members, divorces, etc. What I had to deal with and do I could have never been prepared for. I worked with a gentleman for decades doing construction and became close friends. I watched his family grow as well as his kids grow up. Well I became close to the family as a normal outcome. The family had a dog named Maxx which was goofiest adorable smart collie mix I have ever seen. Years passed and I moved out to an old country farm. Sadly the two got a divorce and the wife got the kids and Maxx. Well she had to get a apartment and couldn’t keep Maxx, so she was going put Maxx down! The kids (all 5) where not having it cause Maxx was still healthy and active. He was also used to having woods to roam and run free. Well I get a call basiclly asking if I would be willing to take Maxx in by me. I didn’t even hesitate, “YES!” After I got Maxx here and starting to share the house with him. He starting to change, He started to mellow out and became a little bit different (in a good way). He never used to let people touch his hind end, have feet around his paws, quirks dogs get from being raised around hyper kids. He soon became a dog that would let do anything to him. He trusted me 100% and only warned me once with a growl while cleaning his teeth. Then he felt sorry and gave me a lick to face to say “hey man I’m sorry about that”. The years flew by way to fast and one day I found a tick on him. I removed the tick and never thought anything about it. Then I started to notice his breathe got horrible and was having trouble jumping on the couch or walking stairs. Again I thought well he’s getting older everything you’d normally expect. Then he starting sleeping by the backdoor of the house (which he never did). He’d always go to sleep next to my bed until I fell asleep then make his way to the living and guard me. Well then it started where he could barley walk to even get up at all. I have no pet vets in the area but called in a cattle vet visit a day later. Turned out he had a horrible tooth infection and likely a bacteria infection known as Anaplasmosis or possibly Lymes. Hours seemed like days as watched his health fade fast. The last 24hrs will haunt me forever. He started to pant and breathe heavy, I knew he was a huge amount of pain. The antibiotics and pain killers weren’t doing anything the other farm vet gave me. The last night I had to pick up Maxx and carry outside and hold him while he went to the bathroom outside. Brought him inside Crunched up some of his favorite treats and a pain killer brought his water dish to wash it down. Then I placed him gently on his favorite blanket by the backdoor. This was about 11pm when I went to bed after doing this. At 4:30am he woke me up with his nose to mine. My first thought was absolute joy, he was able to get up and get me. He used to wake me up in the same way when he need to go out and pee at night. My joy soon turned to absolute horror. As swung my feet around off the bed to get up, he collapsed and starting breathing hard whine. I lost it! “no, NO, no!” I cried. I picked him up to take him outside and noticed he was limp but alive. I knew then Maxx woke me up so I could somehow help him. But I couldn’t. I knew he must be put out of his misery and started combing the area for first place I could take him into to get euthanized. Nothing would be open until 11am! I had to sit and listen to poor Maxx cry and gasp in pain while I had contemplate what to do. I held my poor pale and cried like I have never did before in my life. I knew what I must do for him but could bare the thought of doing it myself or the thought of letting him suffer any longer. I was torn to pieces knowing I was his only salvation. While holding him I asked Maxx if he wanted me to stop the pain for him. Then he got the strength to lift his head a little and give me one last kiss. He answered my question with an answer I didn’t want. I went and setup an area to making his passing go fast and painless. Gave him a meal of his favorite treats and did the horrible dead while he at bliss eating and licking away. It was instant, thank lord. Then I broke down not believing the sin I just did. I just shoot my best friend! The image and action kept replaying in my head over and over. I know what I did had to be done but the guilt is so overwhelming. As the days pass and friends, family console me I’m doing better. Never in my life did I think a dog and I would bond so much. The house, the yard and my heart are now so empty. I still spend hours at the grave I dug for him in the backyard. R.I.P. Maxx I love you forever, forgive me for what I had to do buddy

  • Heather

    Heather

    November 11th, 2015 at 9:49 AM

    I understand how hou feel. I just put my dog down Saturday and it’s so difficult. I’m still crying like a baby. Right now I’m feeling the guilt but I keep reminding myself that I did it because I loved her so much because I didn’t want her to suffer anymore and I know that’s exactly why you did what you did.

  • Cassia

    Cassia

    November 17th, 2015 at 9:31 PM

    Jim,
    You made an act of love, my friend! Maxx is not blaming you, he is forever grateful. You & Maxx shared a big bond. Jim, your love & care was capable to heal Maxx from some type of abuse he experienced before being adopted by you. You were the only one that Maxx could trust for the 1st time in his life and Maxx were the only one that accepted you just the way you are.The unconditional love & friendship you both shared were unique, not found in any other relationship.
    Yout must have compassion for yourself now! You made the best decision at that moment. You tried to find a vet but none was open at the time, you didn’t want to do it yourself, who wants it? You made an act of love, you are a brave man, that even with a tremendous pain crossing your heart, you were able to make a difficult decision, to end the suffering of your beloved furry friend!
    Be gentle with yourself, my friend! Maxx crossed the “rainbow bridge” and he is happy again.
    Please be patient with yourself as you grieve his loss, reach out for friends and family, talk as much as you want and grieve any way that FEELS right for you!
    Take care my friend

  • Heather

    Heather

    November 11th, 2015 at 9:38 AM

    We just had to put out Cocker down this past Saturday. I knew the time was coming but I kept pushing off the appointment. She was 14 years old. I had her since she was a puppy. She was the BEST family dog ever. We also have a Doberman and she was the boss for sure. She had a terrible cough that started in the spring and got worse and was panting all of the time which I knew that meant she was in pain. She was losing bladder control also. But even though she felt bad she followed me everywhere. The Vet thinks she had cancer that spread to her lungs. I’ve lost other pets but she was the most difficult. She was one of my kids. She was very protective over me and my daughter but no one else. I’m feeling guilt now for some reason and I don’t know why.

  • Malinda

    Malinda

    December 6th, 2015 at 7:33 PM

    I had my 12+ yr old cane corso mastif put down yesterday. I could not have prepared myself for the guilt I am feeling. He was my ex boyfriends dog that he got in 2008 and left him here when we split up in 2012. In 2014 he developed what the vet believed to be a tumor in his stomach that was blocking his nutrition so while he ate good, hee got no nutrition from it. Immediately after eating he would have diarrhea. He went from 140 to 80 lbs in the past year. Hee lost ask his muscle, kept falling down the stairs so I put up a baby gate to keep him from falling. It took all he could to get up from laying down to make him go outside to the bathroom and for him to lay back down he practically had to fall down as his legs were so weak. About 2 weeks ago, just about every night he’d go diarrhea right where he laid overnight even though I’d let him out at 11 at night. I knew it was only going to get worse from here and soon he would not be able to get up at all so we made the appointment with the local spca. We took him in but they wouldn’t let us go back with him because that’s not how they do it there they said. I would have had too take him to a vet but the vet charged considerable more. We said goodbyes and add she started walking him back and stopped and looked at me like where are you going. Then she went through the door with him. My heart sunk. I feel like I should have been by his side to comfort him. I feel tremendous guilt and I wish I could know if he forgives me.

  • Sheila

    Sheila

    December 9th, 2015 at 2:48 PM

    It has been 5 days since i put my Buddy down..he was 5yrs old he was diagnosed with lymphoma at the end of October ;( my grief is unbearable at times…sometimes i seem okay for a few hours but then i start crying so hard saying to my self thinking i am talking to my buddy saying how sorry i was that he got sick and that i miss him so much! i know it was the right thing to do he was not himself on friday he would not respond when i called him by his name his eyes were blood shot red and more tumors were spotted and he was disoriented such horrific for his short life to be turned out this way its unfair! yes i get angry too but i am left with his memory of him licking my face and looking up at me with almost closed eyes it was like he was telling me..”its okay to let me go” :( he was such fun and loving dog

  • Malinda

    Malinda

    December 9th, 2015 at 5:07 PM

    Sheila, I feel your pain. It’s been 4 days since my Bubba was put down and I feel so guilty. I know it was the right thing to do so he didn’t suffer further, but the spca wouldn’t let us go back with him and when she was walking him too the door to the back, he stopped in his tracks and looked at me. That look destroyed me. I hope he was saying its ok, goodbye, I love you or thank you and not don’t leave me or something like that. I hope he forgives me for not being by his side as he left.

  • Todd

    Todd

    December 10th, 2015 at 4:35 AM

    It’s really a shame that they wouldn’t let you be by his side. They, of all people should understand. The more you think about your lives together and the decisions that you made, the more comfort you will get, knowing that you made sound, compassionate decisions. I am a HUGE believer in a a home visit for the final moments and encourage anyone to going through this to explore that route.

  • Malinda

    Malinda

    December 10th, 2015 at 10:28 AM

    Todd,

    Thank you for your kind and comforting words. I hope they are able to get me through. I keep telling myself that I know I did the right thing, he only would have suffered had I waited until God took him. He was very close to the point he would have not been able to get up soon all at. I do wish I could have been by his side to comfort him at the moment of his last breath. When she was walking him out and he stopped and looked at me, I pray he wasn’t scared or feeling like don’t leave me here. And if he was scared, I hope they were gentle with him and he was only scared for a brief moment. They told me they take them back and do it right away so the pet doesnt stress. It was the spca and their policy was not to let anyone back and if I wanted to be present, a private vet would allow that. I had already filled out their paperwork and paid, they sprung that on me when they were walking him back, I hadn’t realized. And it was all so quick. I was distraught and wasn’t thinking, or I’d have left with have and made arrangements where I could have been there. I feel so guilty I was not by his side and that I let them lead him away with out me with him. The look he gave me was frightening. I hope he forgives me. I was trying to do the right thing…prevent him from suffering.

  • Malinda

    Malinda

    December 10th, 2015 at 10:31 AM

    Todd,

    Of course now, after the fact, I do wish I explored a hinge visit and did this in the comfort if our own home with us present. That would have been the perfect scenerio, if there is over. He would have been in the comfort of his own home, where hee felt the most safe, and I would have been there talking to him and touching him as he left. That is what I wish I had done.

  • NL

    NL

    December 31st, 2015 at 2:00 AM

    We just put our best friend of 13 1/2 years to sleep yesterday. I have cried for the past 24 hours and can’t imagine life without him. I know everyone says that their dog was the best, but he truly was. He was clever, funny, loyal and never showed any sign of badness or aggression. In truth I often wondered if he was human! I feel absolutely devastated – my heart feels as though it is breaking. We can’t bring ourselves to throw away his things just yet and wonder if the hurt will ever ease. It was the best thing for him but somehow that brings little comfort at the moment. I know that over the coming days there will be constant reminders of him – tennis balls in the garden, dog hair, nose smudges at the door, paw prints on the decking – and am finding it all overwhelming. He’ll never be forgotten. :-(

  • Lynda

    Lynda

    January 24th, 2016 at 8:36 PM

    I truly understand how you feel. I had to put my cat named oj to sleep Jan 8th. I cry a little everyday. He was so smart and slept with me every nite and got me up in the morning. I am still finding toys under the furniture. Though he was over 12 years he played like a kitten. One thing he truly loved was spiking his rubber ducks. am writing a story about him and making a picture album if him. I hope it helps me

  • Todd

    Todd

    December 31st, 2015 at 11:35 AM

    NL, removing his personal items is very painful. We buried his favorites with him and boxed up everything else. We’re doing a renovation at the moment and just today removed a “Spoiled Yorkie Lives Here” bone sign from the back hall. It gets easier. I can truly empathize with you.

  • Nad

    Nad

    January 11th, 2016 at 9:46 AM

    I put my dog down December 23, 2015
    And it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I knew that she was suffering more everyday even though she had good moments. She would still want to play but her heart was failing. She couldn’t really go for walks anymore she would fall overall and have wet herself. Her desire was there but when she got excited she would get worse. Her breathing was so bad I didnt want her to suffer so I choose to suffer instead. I am still missing her so much. Memories of her make me happy but I still feel so lonely without her. She was only 11 years old. I hope with time I will remember that she is better off as she would only have gotten worse and that I did the right thing.

  • Brandi

    Brandi

    January 25th, 2016 at 5:17 PM

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I made the tough decision to have our beloved dog of 12 years put to sleep this past Friday. I know he was sick, and he was only going to be worse… But the guilt and sorrow it almost choking me alive. My husband thought we should have waited a little longer. I knew it was time. I’m still consumed with guilt. I miss my old man every second, and I can’t shake the feeling that I let him down somehow. I’ve been walking around like a zombie for days, just going through the motions of life. For anybody who is contemplating making the “right” decision for their sick pet please prepare yourself for he aftershock. It’s quite severe.

  • Nad

    Nad

    January 26th, 2016 at 3:44 PM

    Brandi I’m so sorry for your loss.
    I know exactly how your feeling. I also felt empty and was walking around not knowing if I had done the right thing even though my head was sayings yes but my heart was saying No. It’s been a month since shes been gone and it is still very hard not to feel guilty and sad. I find talking about her really helps but my kids don’t really want to talk about her. Sometimes this makes me mad but everyone grieves differently I guess. My husband and I talk about her often. I Have tried to stop looking at her special places in the house cause I know she’s no longer there. At first I imagined her everywhere. I miss seeing her my heart aches. I try to change my routine and this does help. I have put out some of her pictures and this helps me. People ask me when the new puppy is coming. I can’t even imagine that right now. She was my first dog and I don’t think I could ever get attached to another only to have to go through this kind of pain again. I know this will sound strange but when I am very sad I look at the short video I have of her when she was in pain and I know I did the right thing. I guess I decided to suffer instead of having her suffer. I hope with time your grief will diminish.
    🐶😔

  • Mare

    Mare

    February 8th, 2016 at 6:35 AM

    Nad I feel your pain, I made the decision to put Dusty who was a wonderful 14 year old yellow lab down on Saturday. She had a stroke on Friday and had other medical conditions as well. I was not prepared for this guilt and emptiness. My husband and I have cried for two days. The house feels so empty, I did not want to go to work today but did not want to stay home in an empty house either. People ask me too “are you getting another dog” NO there will never be another Dusty! She was a part of our family, she fit in seamlessly, laid back, smart, loyal and beautiful. I too keep going over and over in my head, should we have waited and done more. i would not have done this if I knew it would be this painful but of course the time would never be right. This pain in brutal to say the least…

  • Michael

    Michael

    February 16th, 2016 at 7:29 AM

    Today my wife and I are putting down our beloved Chow Chow, CD, who is 13 and has severe arthritis which has caused his back legs to fail.
    It is tough to do as I look at him and start crying. We have another dog Lizzie who will be 14. I think she knows what is going on as she has walking by CD constantly. I hope it is to comfort him.
    I feel guilty about doing this yet logically know it is best for CD. He and Lizzie have been the best dogs anyone can ask for especially the last 4 weeks as I have been severely depressed for several weeks now as a result of retiring for health reasons yet not having health insurance. CD and Lizzie have helped me to keep going .

  • Jonny

    Jonny

    February 25th, 2016 at 7:10 AM

    We had to put down our golden retriever Bailey two days ago. He was 11 and had survived several cancer operations, his breathing was becoming very shallow as he was full of tumours, they were pressing on his lungs and veins resulting in swollen paws. He could no longer sleep at night, so we got together and made the decision to take him down to the vet. The hardest thing I have ever had to do, he just followed us obediently as always, wagging his tail thinking he was going for a walk. I will never forget watching the light leave his eyes as the vet injected him. He just put his head down and went to sleep, and that was it, he was gone. I now feel terrible guilt, like I let him down and should have tried for a few more days! I feel like he trusted me and I led him to his death, I know it was for the best before he started to really suffer, but I can’t help thinking about it. Watching him slowly fade away was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to witness and I will never forget it. Miss him and would give anything to spend another night with him by the fire, he loved his cups of tea. I’m thankful for the perspective he has given me, material things are meaningless when you lose a friend. I wonder if he’s gone or if he lives on somewhere. Just can’t stop thinking about the fragility of life, the inevitability of grief now terrifies me as this is my first real experience. Knowing i’m not alone has helped me a great deal, thanks guys!

  • Chaz

    Chaz

    February 26th, 2016 at 8:34 PM

    Thank goodness for these forums. I have read countless entries and have spent hours upon hours reading stories to help justify the feelings I had with making the decision to put down my sweet 13.5 year old Black Lab. Back around the beginning of summer of 2015 he started signs of what seems to be DM. His back legs were not moving the way they used to, his knuckle would flip and he would scrape his feet while walking. Not long after this he started having accidents in the house. Refusing to believe my boy was getting old and maybe in pain I decided it was time to build him a kennel outside in order to allow him to go when he needed and to ease the stess on us waking to messes in the morning. I cut a doggy door in the back of our insulated shed, put a flap on it to keep out the wind and put heater. He had it made in there with his own comfy bed and freedom to go in and out as he pleased. Being used to being with us his whole life he whined at first but quickly got used to the new arrangment. My heart was torn doing that but with two working professionals it was a lot better than the stress of his trying to hold it in all day. I can’t imagine how alone he must have felt….Tuesday this week my wife messages me that he wouldn’t eat anymore or drink and that he wasn’t moving much. When I got home, his tail wagged but that was it. I eventually got him to drink some water, stayed with him for a while and then went to bed. In the morning checked on him and he had eaten a little which for a lab is unusual but when I brought the food to him he ate it and then ate his new daily amount of food on top of that. I took the day off anyhow and brought him to the vet. The vet said there was not much that could be done and things will only get worse for him, I’ll leave the room and decide what you want to do….NO WAY! I am not prepared for this and him being all excited and active now didn’t help. We took him back home, brought him back in the house where I could keep an eye on him. That night was tough and he was back to moping. We tried some anti-inflamatories prescribed but that didn’t help things so Wednesday was no huge improvement. I decided at that time that I had to make the decision. The next morning, Thursday, I called the vet and made an appointment for Friday afternoon to have him put to sleep. I struggled, cried like a baby oh my god did I cry…a grown man of 44 years old, this was my first dog ever and I cried like a toddler. I had to try and make things easier for him the best I could, so we layed heavy blankets through out all our hardwood floors so that he would not slip and fall and he can try to walk confidently around the house. I spent most of Thursday night with him, brushing him, talking to him, laying on the floor next to him because he loved to spoon….I struggled with what had to be done. I woke up this morning knowing today was the day. It is extremely icey outside and he can not walk without falling so I grabbed the snowblower and put a good snow pack in the driveway and we went outside and played in the snow for a long while. He so loved the snow….rolling around in it and burying his face. We had a lot of fun and took a lot of pictures. He was walking and playing and I thought I must be making the wrong decision. Look at him playing like this, I could just make sure he always has good solid footing and he will be good to go for a while yet. We went back in the house to warm up, I have to carry him up and down the steps of the house and 70lbs is tough but well worth the struggle. I fed him beef tips and treats, brushed him some more and of course cried while I struggled with what was going to happen in a few hours. I turned to the forums for guidance, I read a lot about second guessing myself for the decision, how to read signs from your dog when he is ready to go etc…The worse thing in the world I wanted was to feel quilty and feel remorse for the decision I was making and it was best if I could better understand the signs so I know if it is time. I loved this best friend of mine so much….an hour before we were set to leave the house for the last time I was still second guessing myself and if I should cancel the visit and wait longer. I decided to bring him back outside to play some more but this time he just looked at me and when I put my hand under his backend to help him up I felt the weight of him push down like he wasn’t getting up. I lifted him anyway and outside we went. I brought him to his bathroom corner and after he relieved himself he turned around and went to lay down, that slow motion laydown like he had enough. I had a towel around his abdomen to keep him steady while walking on the icey parts and I just lifted him saying no way not here don’t lay in your bathroom corner. We walked out towards the playground I made for him in the driveway hoping to play some more with him and he just walked towards the steps of the house and layed down right there. Right then and there was the final sign he gave me that he was ready. I layed down in the snow next to him, talking to him and saying that I understand, I got the message and I would not let him down. I thanked him for the fun we had during the day and I just watched him lick the snow as he lay there. I brought him back in the house after a while, and he just layed there on his bed extremely peaceful, breathly ever so lightly and calmly. He was now doing better than I was I think as if he trusted what I said and I wouldn’t let him down, I had to hold up my end of the bargain. We took the long 1.5hr drive to the vet, and I fed him food and treats along the way and patted him to comfort him. We got to the vet at 4pm this afternoon, we went in a quiet room, I brought his bed from home so he had all the smells to make him relaxed. The vet told us what was going to happen and gave us time to be with him. I layed on the floor face to face with him, talked to him telling him how much he meant to us, how much we loved him and how he made our lives much better. I told him that we would be ok and to not worry, he could come visit me anytime he wanted to in spirit. He licked my chin and right then and there was my other sign that he was good. That lick made the difference for me, it was the bond, the connection, the reinforcement that everything was going to be OK, it solidified that what we were doing was the right thing and he was OK with it, he would no longer have to struggle with those darn legs or have the breathing issues he was starting to have as well. The doctor came in, I continued to lay face to face with him, he layed his chin on my hand as I stroked his head and paws. I spoke to him the whole time and kept my composure so I would not stress him. We gave the doctor the ok and we never loss eye contact until his eyes closed for the last time. I continued talking to him and stroking his head until the doctor said he was passed. I then lost it….I could not believe that was it, I wanted one more lick, one more glance, one more wag of the tail. The doctor gave us a few minutes and I wept like a baby still laying in the same position with his chin in my hand hoping he would just wake up one last time to say just kidding…..I was so torn. On my home I felt so at peace knowing that I had all the signs, he gave me the last lick on my chin (the most important part) and after two days of snow and nasty weather we had the most beautiful sunset on the way home. I took pictures of the sunset as the last great thing he gave me and that was that things will get brighter, it will get easier and that it must be beautiful where he is now. He can run without gasping for air and run and run and run with his new strong legs. I am obviously still struggling this evening, but I feel I will over come the extreme sadness quickly. I don’t feel the guilt but I do already miss him so much which is what will take a little while to get over. We had him cremated and will be getting his ashes next week. We will be planting a tree this spring and spreading his ashes around the roots in his memory and the rest of his ashes I will spread in the lake he so loved to swim in, and go for boat rides and fishing….he loved that so much. Rest in Peace my dear Slater, I will forever miss you, our friendship, your unconditional infectious love for everything and everyone. Thanks to everyone that posts in these wonderful forums who help others like myself to get answers and understanding of the pain we feel when making tough decision for hpour pets who can’t speak for themselves. They do so much good in our lives and it is only fair that we repay them with same respect and dignity when it comes time to making difficult decisions in regards to their well being. Peace all.

  • Dawn

    Dawn

    March 16th, 2016 at 1:48 AM

    I’m now sitting with my pug Mole, she is being put down to day, at 11.30, I know I’m doing the right thing, she’s only 8 , but her back end has now given up the ghost and she can’t go to the loo with out me holding her up…yes I could cancel the appointment but I know in my heart I’m doing right , yes she will be missed, but she was loved by my whole family….she will be over the rainbow bridge in perfect health. That will hopefully help me get over this. Better 1 day to early than 2 days late…. Bless ya Mole !

  • marjorie

    marjorie

    March 17th, 2016 at 5:49 PM

    I finally said goodbye to my wonderful friend Casper last Friday. He was a Bichon Frise and was my constant companion for 16 1/2 years. His hearing and sight had been getting worse for the last two years and for the last few months he was totally blind and deaf, but he seemed to cope and was still happy. My main worry was that he had to have quite a lot of teeth out [ over 25 in all] and anytime he cried, I worried that he might have toothache and I dreaded him having to have more teeth out as I was terrified he wouldn’t wake up from the anaesthetic and I wouldn’t get the chance to say goodbye.
    I’ve lost count of the amount of times we have gone to the vets in the last year and last September I made the decision that it was better to put him to sleep. Then he bounced back and I cancelled the visit I had arranged for the vet to come to our house to ‘do the deed’ which I felt would make it easier for Casper- he hated going to the vets.
    So we had a few more months and I was so glad I had changed my mind. But then last Thursday night he began crying and couldn’t settle – he slept in my bedroom. I brought him into bed and stroked him to see if it would calm him down. I went downstairs to get some chicken and hid some painkillers inside it. Thankfully he took the chicken and eventually went to sleep. I lay awake all night. When he woke the next morning he began panting straight away. He has had Cushings disease for over 5 years and normally had a ravenous appetite, but he wouldn’t eat a thing that morning, not even his favourite chicken. For me I always thought him not wanting to eat would be my sign.
    My heart was breaking but I knew I could no longer put it off. I rang my son, then I rang the vet to see if they would come to the house. My son arrived and then the vet came. He had a nurse with him. They were both very kind.
    I’ve been down this road with another two pet dogs [Holly 14 and Lucy 17] and you learn from previous experiences what you wish you had done differently. I didn’t want Casper to know what was happening so I asked them to give him something before shaving his leg for the final injection. They gave him a muscle relaxant sedative and he gradually went limp. They said some dogs become agitated and start trying to get up. Thankfully that didn’t happen as that would have destroyed me. It was very, very peaceful. It was important to me to be with Casper right up until the very end, so my son and I drove him to the crematorium I found last September in East Grinstead [ Chestnut Lodge – a lovely family run crematorium]. I wanted an individual cremation, but by the time we got there from London, it was too late. Casper was in his little basket with a blanket covering most of his body. He looked so at peace. They showed us into a lovely little room with a table in the grounds where they said Casper could lie ‘in State’ until the next day. They arranged a time the following morning for his cremation at 11 am. We drove back down the next morning to be with him and say our final goodbyes. My son carried him in to the room where it was to be done. They asked if we wanted to see them placing him inside, but that was more than I could bear. We went for a drive and returned 2 1/2 hours later to collect his ashes in a little engraved box with a cutting of his hair.
    I knew I had done everything I possibly could to make the end as painless as possible and to ensure we were with him to ensure he was treated with respect and dignity right up until the last minute , and I knew it was his time, but I still feel guilty and so terribly terribly sad. I would give anything for one more cuddle. Rationally, I know I did the best thing for him and I know it was the best for him, but I still feel so guilty and wish I could have been able to ask him if it is what he wanted.
    I thank everyone for sharing all your stories. It does help knowing I’m not the only one suffering such terrible feelings of guilt and loss
    Marjorie [Casper’s Mum]

  • Northern_Guy

    Northern_Guy

    March 18th, 2016 at 5:32 PM

    My ex-wife needed to finally put down her parent’s dog for them. It’s not the fact they put the poor creature down- it’s how bloody long it took them to realize it needed doing. I mentioned it to the ex a dozen times in the last couple of years – to see a vet and make a decision: either spend the money if there is hope, or put him down humanely if not. But nope – everyone just played dumb with this “it’s just nature is taking it’s course” thing. Well, extending a living animals suffering needlessly is not “natural” for me at all, it’s really kind of disgusting and shameful. I should have done more. Next time I won’t concern myself with “my place” in the situation and just speak my mind. It’s not the fact he’s gone. It’s the fact he suffered as long as he did, and needlessly at that. It’s nauseating. If you didn’t put it off and spared your beloved pet much suffering, you may not feel good about it, but know it was better than avoiding the issue and letting a living and feeling creature suffer. Not feeling very good about myself today. Pet owners should commit to not letting an animal suffer and doing the right thing, and even making financial sacrifices to that end. If you can’t afford to take care of an animal properly and humanely, then I say maybe pass on pet ownership.

  • Corrinne

    Corrinne

    April 4th, 2016 at 3:40 PM

    Our beloved Roxy was put to sleep a week ago tomorrow. She was a German shorthaired pointer x weimaraner aged 10. She had a Tumor in her bladder and was under supervision and medication from the vet for nearly a year. We noticed blood spotting around the house and when she laid on/in our bed. She felt the need to wee all. The tone, suffered with constant urine infections and sloradic incontinentance as well as having additional bone growth around her spine. she showed signs that she was in pain however despite her back end failing her she was still a puppy at heart. The decision to put her to sleep was the hardest to do but at the time we believed it was the kindest thing to do, giving our girl one last good day rather than one last bad day. She could walk, eat her dinner, but was up urinating or trying to with no joy, back legs shaking and clearly in pain every 30 minutes through the night. I feel so guilty that we should have tried more to make her more comfortable and that we ended it for her too early. I am totally deveststed as is my son and husband although they seen to be coping better than me. I am so lonlsybabd empty without her and cry constantly. I miss my sweet girl so so much xxx

  • Joyce

    Joyce

    April 19th, 2016 at 11:17 PM

    I’m just devastated that I had to euthanize my beloved Shih Tzu, Timmy. It seems surreal, don’t seem real. I rescued Timmy off the streets 11yrs ago, thought he was a puppy, but he was actually 2yrs old, per his Vet. Timmy was my hard, my beloved four legged doggy son. He was extremely intelligent, slick, witty and intuitive…could understand language during human conversations, so we had to spell out conversations if we said we were going out of town for example. He was also a food thief, if we weren’t paying attention he would snatch food out of your hand or plate. My friends use to say he was not a dog he was four legged human. But, Timmy health began to deteriorate recently, and I with the Vet agreed it was time, but easier said than done. I never fathom the despair and pain I feel in making the ultimate decision in having him put to sleep. I have been crying inconsolable, he was my first dog, and I loved him very much and he loved me, and it was love that made me want to see him suffer no more….but it hurts more than anyone could imagine…4/19/2016 @ 3:30 a.m. the Vet euthanized my Timmy, and I held him kissed him and rubbed his belly afterwards…

  • JT

    JT

    April 25th, 2016 at 9:42 AM

    I’ve read all of these stories and it’s helping me to cope. So thank you to everyone.

    I had my dog put to sleep on April 20th, 2016, and I feel horrible. Kacey was 12 years old and my only family member. I’m single and have no spouse or any friends that are close by. I came home for lunch on April 14th and Kacey would not move. I immediately took her to the vet that afternoon. She was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma, a deadly form of cancer. She had a tumor the size of a softball in her spleen and the cancer had spread to her liver. Her liver was abnormal. The 1st option was having the tumor removed from her spleen, but it was only going to be a matter of weeks before her other organs would start to go downhill, that’s provided that she made it through the surgery. The 2nd option was do nothing, but the tumor was going to rupture and she would bleed out. I had always maintained that I would not put my dog through heavy medical treatment at the end of her life. The time had come for me to eat my words. And eat them I certainly did.

    I made plans to see another vet over the coming days and in the meantime, I spent the time loving my dog for 6 days and spending as much time as I could with her. If the 2nd vet had the same prognosis, I knew that I would be having her put to sleep. I was having trouble coping, and had very few people to talk to or relate to. Saying goodbye for 6 days was hard enough. I knew that there was no way I could say goodbye for 3 months. And each time I left the house, I was fearful that when I came back home, the tumor may have ruptured and she would be dead or in the process of bleeding out. I’m telling you that I was losing it. I was a basket case. On that 6 day, once we got confirmation that the situation was as grave as the first vet mentioned, I spent the next 4 hours feeding her a 5 piece chicken dinner, taking her for a walk at our favorite park, and then having her put to sleep at the end of the day.

    But I feel so much guilt right now that it’s almost unbearable. I feel like I let my dog down. I’m actually embarrassed of how I had my dog put to sleep after only 6 days. I did my best to say goodbye over 6 days and tell her how much I loved her, but I feel like I blew it. I feel like I was in a fog about the whole thing? It is possible that the tumor could have been removed and she may have lived 3-4 more months. But I would have been at work, unable to care for her like so many others have said they had to do. She was having trouble getting up, but she could get up. She was starting to drag one of her legs on that 2nd day, like the cancer had bled into that area. But that somehow worked itself out over the 4th and 5th day. But there were many times that I looked at her over these 6 days and she gave me that look that said “I’m so tired, and my body is weak. I can’t do much anymore”. I knew that this is what she was saying. I read many things that said do what is in the best interest of the pet. But I feel like I had her put to sleep because I was too weak to deal with it.

    I went to the park 2 days after her death and took my pictures of her and asked for her forgiveness. I hope she loved me and our life. I wish she could tell me she’s having fun now. She was alone so much, and I only hope that now she is surrounded by other dogs. I hope she can brag about how good I was to her. Because I feel like I was awful to her in the final days. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I feel horrible.

  • Steve

    Steve

    May 10th, 2016 at 1:45 AM

    I am sure that this cannot be painless. However, time cures… Many thanks for sharing. Thank you!

  • Be

    Be

    May 13th, 2016 at 9:55 AM

    SEC… Did it get better? Im dying inside…my 15 yr old cat had hyperthyroid and kidney failure and a friends cat was at stages past hers in the process. I couldn’t watch her get weaker she was already half the weight she was most her life… She would drink water and had to pee constantly… I have to travel for work and the thought of her being alone, or something happening when I was gone, or her just getting worse, why would I want to let her slowly die if I could be with her? I cried for two days before and set everything up… I don’t know, I feel I was protecting her from pain… She was with me, and wasnt alone, but now not hearing her feet on the hardwood floors is emotionally breaking me… I miss her, she wasn’t getting better… But it didn’t have to be that day.

  • Tyler V

    Tyler V

    May 17th, 2016 at 12:07 AM

    Today my mom and I put down our cat of 13 years. He came from a bad family who treated him poorly so we had difficulty at first, but in time he knew he was loved. A couple years ago we found out he was anemic and ever since then we just waited hoping it would be ok. As of a couple months ago he stopped eating his normal food so since then I have been administering steroids and appetite stimulants, trying to get him to eat. Time went on and he lost more and more weight, and by his last appointment he weighed only 8 pounds. Our vet told us it would be cruel with how much his anemia had accelerated to force him to live much longer due to lack of oxygen to his organs. After personally giving him so many pills for so long, feeding him most of my life, and even taking him to his litter box to pee or poop recently, today was one of the most sad days of my life. I held him the entire time. I pet him the entire time. I told him I loved his more times than I think I have my whole life, and I am an emotional guy. I have never cried so much. Losing him feels like losing a piece of my heart. But knowing that he no longer experiencing that pain and hearing him purr that day before the appointment makes brings me great joy and great sadness. Making the right decision makes it no easier but I would never want him to be In pain. He was like my baby. I will love you forever Patches and hope kitty heaven treats you the way you deserve.

  • Angela b.

    Angela b.

    May 21st, 2016 at 7:46 AM

    I had my 8 year old little yorkeshire terrier Zac put to sleep on Thursday. He has been sick for a long time he had an operation in January to remove a gallbladder stone and has been on medication since. He started to retain fluid in his stomach and medication made him sick. He was unable to walk far. And only weighed 2.5 kg .I feel so guilty and heart broken and feel like I have let him down. I loved him so much. He trusted me to hold him and keep him safe and all I can think of is I cuddled him while he was put to sleep . Don’t know if I will ever stop feeling guilty. To me zac was more than a dog he was part of my family.

  • Tina

    Tina

    June 23rd, 2016 at 7:41 AM

    You did the right thing for your much love dog. It will take time for you to get over losing him like this but you get there in the end.

  • Kelly

    Kelly

    May 22nd, 2016 at 4:36 PM

    I had my girl put to sleep 3 years ago and still hurts me every single day and I still think about her everyday I had her 16 years she was like my child I don’t think it will ever get easier for me

  • Lorraine

    Lorraine

    May 29th, 2016 at 8:53 PM

    I put my 15 yo rat terrier down last Monday. I am devastated and feel so much guilt it hurts. She had hepatitis back in February, lost 30% of her body weight and almost died then, but she bounced back to normal in a week. Then in the past few weeks, she has had several seizures. She had only ever had maybe 1 or 2 a year before then. She also had a severe heart murmer, but it never seemed to cause problems. The day before it happened, I took her to the emergency vet bc she couldn’t stop coughing and I was worried it was heart failure. The vet said it was just a cough and sent me home with cough pills. Other than the cough, she was acting pretty normal. Until that night. She had the biggest seizure ever, preceded by being restless and crying for a long time. She never cried. Then, after the seizure, she couldn’t walk without stumbling or even stand. She didn’t know where she was. She even lost control of her bowel which had never happened. It was the worst night of my life, I just kept waiting for her to take her last breath. Normally after a seizure, she’d bounce back up like nothing happened. This was so different, so bad. So, I figured it was time. The vet started talking about putting her on seizure medicine, but I couldn’t keep watching her go through this, so I chose to euthanize. I was there with her for the whole thing. Now, I feel so guilty. Was it too soon? Would she have been okay? Will she ever forgive me?

  • Dave S.

    Dave S.

    June 10th, 2016 at 2:59 PM

    Miss you Mikki girl, God bless you and welcome you home!

  • Dave S.

    Dave S.

    June 10th, 2016 at 3:03 PM

    Thank you

  • loretta

    loretta

    June 18th, 2016 at 2:42 PM

    On 6/16 I made that heart wrenching decision to put my Stella to sleep. She had been throwing up her food and had a dry hacking cough, so I took her in to see the vet. He did x-rays and blood work and she was diagnosed with possibly aspiration pneumonia. They sent us home with antibiotics and two days later she was still not well and not eating. So, I took to VCA emergency hospital. She spent two days there and after an ultrasound they gave her a different diagnose and said to take her home and maybe she would there. She was now at 8 days no eating. The following day I found too weak to stand, peeing right where she lay, not drinking, and still not eating. Her breathing was now labored and it just broke my heart to see her continuously decline and no one seemed to know what was wrong. This was the day that I cried my heart and said goodbye to her at home before driving her to the vet. They took us in and I watched her take her last breath. I am now waiting for her ashes. I cry everyday and being at home is hard. I miss her and go through all those feeling of guilt and what if I would of done this or that. In my hearts of hearts I know it was time but it is still difficult. I will miss her and think of her with every breath I take. I tried old girl, I tried and I hope you knew this. RIP my Stella.

  • My Blog

    My Blog

    June 15th, 2017 at 12:13 PM

    I pay a quick visit everyday some blogs and blogs to read content, except this webpage presents quality based content.

  • Dave

    Dave

    June 19th, 2016 at 12:49 AM

    My story is about the same and I very much understand your pain. I had the same doubts when we put our beautiful Mikki dog to sleep, but Loretta she knows how hard you tied and how much you miss her. She is God’s pup now but you will see her again. I still have tears for her because the grief comes in waves but it is a little less. I will never forget her and I have her ashes here with me. Hang in there, it will get better.

  • loretta

    loretta

    June 19th, 2016 at 3:52 PM

    Thank you Dave, you don’t know how much your words mean to me.

  • Cindy

    Cindy

    July 12th, 2016 at 11:23 AM

    Our beloved little Pippin passed away July 10, 2016. He had progressive heart disease and Pulmonary Hypertension. He had been seen by vet cardiologist and was on many pills. His last visit 3 weeks ago they gave 3-4 months. Last week he did well and on Saturday he stopped eating and we did not force the pills, by Sunday he was on the brink of obvious distress and we took him in his little bed to do the kindness thing we could do and were present, his head in my lap when he painlessly passed on. It was so hard to say goodbye to my little Pippin- a dog who gave so much and brought us so much joy. Pippin was indeed my special, loyal friend and although he leaves 2 doggy friends behind, he leaves a HUGE hole in our hearts and we truly loved him and he loved us back. RIP my dear sweet Pippin- until we meet again. You are free- free of pills, free of CHF and free to run without fainting. We will always treasure you, my 11 yr old boy!

  • Malinda H

    Malinda H

    July 12th, 2016 at 3:12 PM

    Dallas, I know exactly what you are feeling. I felt three very same way when I put my dog down on Dec. It was an awful feeling but it doors better better and then you realize what you did was the right thing. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but it will.

  • nadia

    nadia

    July 12th, 2016 at 4:15 PM

    Dallas, I am sorry for your loss. I put my dog Lola down in December 2015 because of CHF. I felt so, so guilty like you. I felt I had no right to make this decision. Now that seven months have passed I know I did the right thing for my Lola. She is no longer suffering. I miss her so badly but can’t bring myself to getting a new dog. She was a big part of my life and it will take time to heal. Take comfort in knowing that your pet knew they were loved and that they loved you. I hope that one day I can love a fur baby again but there will always be a special place there for my Lola. Time will heal this void hopefully.

  • Cindy

    Cindy

    July 13th, 2016 at 9:10 AM

    I am so sorry for all our losses of our beloved pets. Honestly, the only thing that is holding me together right now is knowing that I am not alone in this and everyone has shared their stories of the pets that they loved. I have 2 other dogs at home and they ease the pain “somewhat” but they don’t take away the emptiness that I feel for Pippin- Pippin has left his imprint on my heart and soul and today (3 days after he has passed), I feel his presence. I wrote a list of all the things Pippin liked to do and his character traits knowing it would help me and I plan on making a memory book. I have a little memorial to him know with his collar, pawprints, pictures, cards and flowers my daughter sent. Pippin was courageous, free-spirited, loyal and devoted. The list goes on and on. He fought heart disease and Pulmonary Hypertension to the very end. When he went for his trip to Rainbow Bridge he wagged his tail one final time at a child (he never liked children and growled in his earlier years). RIP my sweet Pippin.

  • Justine

    Justine

    July 20th, 2016 at 3:56 PM

    I rescued the sweetest little schnauzer my friend found abandoned on the street one month ago. After her rough past, she finally got to feel what it was like to be a real dog. She chased lizards, loved to stick her head out the car window, sunbathed, loved going to the beach with me. But more importantly, I could feel her gratefulness and love everyday for just rescuing her. Yesterday, we discovered she has stage 4 kidney disease and everything has gone downhill so quick. She’s at the hospital on an IV for the next few days and I’m a complete wreck trying to prepare myself for the worst. Keep fighting my little lady. :(

  • Nick

    Nick

    September 3rd, 2016 at 3:01 PM

    We just had to put our schnauzer of 14 years down! It sucks but was the best for her. She quit eating and woul literally get stuck I the corner of a room and not know how to get out! I used to hate it cause I would always trip over her being under my feet, and now I miss it the most! I see her when I look down following me and makes me so sad. She was 14 and definitely part of our family! Duchess will be very missed and it so much harder getting over losing her than anyone else. They know nothing but unconditional love for their family! I’m not sure what else to say! 😢

  • Jon

    Jon

    September 26th, 2016 at 11:30 AM

    The day started out like others except my little “Princess” Bailey was obviously in pain more than what I have observed prior. She started to skip meals about a month ago and I knew that it was time to put my 12 y/o mini-schnauzer to sleep to end her suffering. She suffered from CHF, blindness, renal failure and painful arthritis. Having worked as a EMT/fireman for almost 20 years now and dealing with death on a consistent basis, I thought that I could get through this but learned there is nothing that could have prepared me for what I am feeling now. The guilt to make the decision and follow through with it is overwhelming. Thank goodness I was able to be with her through the whole process to give her comfort and to let her know she was loved everyday of her life. She has left a huge void in my life and I know that eventually the pain will be less and less as time goes on. I can’t say when the last time I cried this much. I guess it is all part of the healing process, but damn it sure is brutal. It is comforting to know that I am not the only one that has gone through this and only wish the best for all of you. Thank you so much for allowing me to tell my story as short as it was. Jon

  • Kaly C

    Kaly C

    September 15th, 2016 at 4:58 AM

    Yesterday i put my beautiful cat of 14 years to sleep, she was ill for a few weeks and last week we took her into the Vet, they advised us that she only had about 30% of her kidney function left… they put her on a drip and she responded very well to the medication. after 3 days of being at the vet we could finally take her home and she had to be on medication for the rest of her life. On the 4th day of being home we noticed blood in her urine.. she would just lay on the couch and only get up to go wee outside.. as this behavior was not what our go getter fighter baby was like we decided that the quality of life she was living was one that would be unfair to her… we took her to the vet and the vet said that the fact she was eating and drinking was good signs but he couldn’t tell us how long she would live, as her kidneys where failing..we decided that it was best for her not to go through the pain and that even though the medication would keep her alive it was not a kind of life that she would want.. we then made the heartbreaking decision to go through with what we thought was best for her… however since having done that i cant but help feel guilt, did we give up on her to early, did we do the right thing… she obviously was fighting the illness and did we allow her chance to try get better. I feel sick to my stomach and continuously just want to lay in a ball and cry… before we went through with it i was 100% sure we where doing the right thing and now i am feeling regret and guilt, how could i have chosen to take her life, what if she was not done fighting?

  • Paula

    Paula

    October 28th, 2016 at 10:28 AM

    You didnt give up on her, you let her go with no pain, suffering and most of all her dignity. I just did the same for my baby lad dog two days ago and i can barely see the screen im crying so much writing this to you! Im much better at giving advice than taking it but one thing i know for sure is that you saved her from what would only have been heartbreaking for you all. I took a few steps further than you with my dog, he was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with renal failure and like you did the diet and the medication but also as you said the full of life pet you once knew was deteriorating in front of your eyes. I brought my baby to the vet last saturday thinking he was going to put him to sleep but no, more aggressive steroids through injection and stronger tabs. A puppy was released out of him for 2 days straight, he was going things i hadnt seen him do in over 5 years! I knew it was the steroids that were doing it and only masking over the real problem but i took those two days i cherished them, took as many pics and videos i could, spoiled him rotten and prepared myself for the impending fall i was going to get and boy did i get it!! Tuesday he turned bad again, no food, no water, shivering uncontrollably! No amount of hugs warmth or love could make him feel better! Back into the vet we went and got another high dose steroid to see if he would eat (most animals with this disease end up wasting away as they are too sick to eat)……it didnt work this time! So when my baby was declining on Wednesday and had vomitted i knew the end was near and i couldnt let him down or make him go through this feeling another day longer. I shook from head to toe, i cried, i nearly vomited myself but when it came to the vetvadministering the end dose i just held his head and whispered i would never leave him and not to be scared! In a nutshell what i am trying to say is yes i fully understand you when you question yourself, lord knows im doing enough of that too….what if i gave him a chance to fight it himself but deep down we know the truth. That disease is a fatal one, no matter how much money, drugs operations or even love we throw its way we will NEVER be able to cure it and we need to comfort ourselves by knowing we did what was right for them and not us. We could have been selfish and held on another while “incase” but we didnt and we let our babies go with dignity and pride and i couldnt be prouder of my brave baby boy x

  • Kaly C

    Kaly C

    November 22nd, 2016 at 4:02 AM

    Sending you big hugs!!! Stay strong the pain doesn’t go away but it slowly gets easier…

  • Pash

    Pash

    October 28th, 2016 at 4:16 AM

    Yesterday we had to say good bye to our gorgeous boy Ernie, he was a Jack Russell and was with us from a puppy for 12 years. Ernie was never a drooley dog, but over the past week and half, he was drooling a lot, we thought it maybe his teeth, so asked the Vets to check them. Ernie hated the vets, but was put under, and the vet said that his teeth were all OK, but they had found a lump under his tongue, which they would take a biopsy of, the test results from that came back to be a aggressive form of Cancer, when the vet told us, we were heart broken, the Vet had spoken to a specialist and said that nothing could be done, it would eventually kill him and degrade him so much and he would be in so much pain. Ernie loved food, but he had gone from eating meals, and asking for food, to not wanting to eat and we could see very quickly he was in pain, even though we had medication for him. This all happened so quickly within side of a week and a half, my wife and I made the decision that it was the last act of love we could give him, but it killed to us make that choice, we took him to the vets, and all he wanted to do was leave, we cuddled him so tight kissing him, and making sure he was looking at us, as the vets administered his injection, he slipped away peacefully within seconds, but left my wife and I destroyed. We then had to explain to our six year old and three year old daughters where he had gone, and why he had gone. Ernie was such a beautiful dog, when we had our children, he was so considerate and protective of us all, and you could tell he loved all of us, and we loved him back so much. As the cancer had not taken a hold or Ernie completely, on the exterior he looked OK, apart from the drooling, but he was so quiet, and looked so miserable, he was never like this, so we knew he was in pain, and for Ernie not to eat was unheard of, we had to act fast for him, as it was not fair. This is something we as humans can do for our loved pets (family members) but we cannot do for our human family members and or friends. This is still raw as this all happened only yesterday, but if I ask myself to be truthful, all i wanted to do was take his pain away, and for him to be happy, the only way we could give him that was to let him go and end his suffering. We miss him so much, and I am questioning every second if we did the right thing, or should we had tried to operate, but the fact is, I know he would have been in so much pain, and having to go back and forth to the vets for operations, and the vets telling us they were not sure if any of the Ops would work. As I said he hated the vets so much so I could not put him through the prolonged pain, and visits to somewhere where he hated going. Our family and house look and feel so empty now, we are truly heartbroken and reading some of the stories above, I can relate to you all, there are no easy answers or feelings, this whole process is so tough and ruthless. I ask myself what if he wanted to live and fight on, but the fact is with that form of cancer, which was aggressive it would have just taken him over, and he would of been in so much pain, I could not let that happen, we love him dearly and always will. Miss him so much!

  • Paula

    Paula

    October 28th, 2016 at 9:59 AM

    Reading all your stories at least makes me feel like i am not alone in my grief. I had to make the worst decison of my life 2 days ago to let the love of my life, my baby go to doggie heaven. He was 11 and so full of life love and pure fun. He was diagnosed 2 weeks earlier with Kidney disease after i noticed weightloss on him. That in conjunction with a pre-existing heart condition made his decline so rapid i still cannot get my head around it! He was put on special meds, a renal diet and met his vet twice weekly (when i say he was my baby i dont say it lightly). Within a week he started to decline, food wasn’t as appealing and he got tired quickly but even on his last day on this earth he tried sooooo hard to welcome me, wag his tail and show me the love i know he had so deeply for me too. I tried EVERY mediation out there, injections after injections, tablets after tablets, powders etc. The cost of it all didnt and still doesnt bother me, no money could ever bring me thejoy and happiness he has done for the last 11 years. The empty void i feel now knowing i will never get to cuddle up with him, kiss his head or tell him about my day (i swear he understood english). I’m just so lost. The guilt of having to put him to sleep is getting me too. I know the practicalities of it all…… He would have suffered too much, it was better for him, i did it out of love for him and put my needs aside, i wanted him to go with dignity (he never once in his 11 years soiled in the house, he would wake me up barking at all hours to be let out to do his business if he was bursting) etc but I just cant put words to how i feel about it. The days leading up to him being put to sleep i swore to him as he looked at me with his big brown eyes that i wouldnt let him do it alone and would be with him every step of the way (i held him kissing his head through the whole process…..i think the vet thought i was mad). It was a comfort to know he didnt go alone and was in my arms where he felt safe but am i wrong to ask the question……did i do right by him? Was he and is he in peace? I just breakdown everytime i think of him and wonder was it the right thing to do or should i have let nature take its course (vet said it would have happened within days as he was too sick to eat, drink or take meds on the day i did it). I know only a handful of people can understand while others say “sure it was only a dog, just get a new one) but those who do understand they know the bond you can form so easily with your pet and the heartache is so deep and real. I know my husband misses him but even he knows he could never break that bond me and my baby boy had. Wouldnt it be great to see them one last time to see they were ok, to see you did make the right choice and to get some closure instead of this overwhelming agony and pain!! Sorry for the rant, i just needed to get that off my chest!!! Hugs to all those out there dealing with their own loss, i hope in time we all learn to cope x

  • nicky

    nicky

    November 9th, 2016 at 1:45 PM

    on monday 17th november i took my cat to the vet only to be told that i had to have her put to sleep i had to give the vet the go ahead because my cat had been losing weight not eating could go to the toilet properly and crying i had to berry her in my mothers house in the back garden i became so empty without her it is dead and quiet without her around

  • Chelsea

    Chelsea

    December 28th, 2016 at 2:48 PM

    My cat got put down today and we have had her for all my life and it is so hard.

  • Nathan

    Nathan

    January 5th, 2017 at 2:27 AM

    Hello all, myself and my partner had a 5 yr cat named “obi” who developed HCM approximately 6 months ago, he was given medication to take morning and night and for 5 1/2 months everything seemed good, his condition was under control, apart from he had to sit down everytime he had a funny 5 minutes to catch his breath, but on the 23/12/16 his breathing was rapid and he was struggling to breath so we took him to the vets where he was given an injection to help remove the fluid buildup on his lungs, at first everything seemed to have worked but then last night it happened again, but this time his breathing was much faster and you could here him forcing air in and out of him. At this point my-self and my partner knew wat we had to do.
    We took him to the vets where we had him “put to sleep”, I know it was the right decision to make as he was a cat who could not run around and play, was always out of breath, and who’s personality changed to the point that we believed he was depressed with the situation he was in and having to be given tablets morning and night. When he was put to sleep I held him and told him “I love you, I’m sorry what has happened and sorry for failing you”. The one thing that bothers me the most is that when he was at vets he was so alert and interested in the surroundings and he looked like a healthy cat, but we knew that he has been fighting HCM for 6 months and the vet told us that the condition will never get better only worse, and at this point we knew it was the right decision but now i feel guilty and a monster and i feel like i gave up on him. I just wish things could have been different.
    I know some of you on here have said that you feel guilty and should have done more, and I am to feeling this.
    I love my baby boy the the end of the earth and have not stopped crying since, I just want to hold him and tell him I LOVE HIM.

  • kate

    kate

    January 5th, 2017 at 7:40 AM

    Oh Nathan, my heart aches with you. Sending love and hugs.

  • Nadia

    Nadia

    January 5th, 2017 at 7:58 AM

    Nathan, I am so sorry. Your beloved pet is no longer suffering. You are suffering for him now instead. I miss my faithful dog which I lost last last year. The pain will lessen but never disappear. Just remember the good times and that you loved him dearly and I’m sure you did the right thing for him. It’s not right to make them suffer. A big hug.

  • Nathan

    Nathan

    January 7th, 2017 at 2:47 AM

    Thank you for your reply’s.
    I’m trying my best to “get on with life” but everywhere I look it reminds me of things me and obi use to do, but in a sense that is good right? Knowing that we shared so many good memories. I know we did the best that we could have done, and everyone who has met him has been truly affected, my best friend was up last night and you could see he had been crying, it is mad how much of an affect your pets “member of the family” have on you and others.
    Just hearing others speak about their story’s really does help me l, knowing I am not alone.

    Once again, thank you.

  • Lorraine

    Lorraine

    January 9th, 2017 at 3:30 PM

    Hi everyone, I have never been on anything like this but I felt I needed to write something.
    I had to put my golden retriever Kyser to sleep October 1st. He was the most lovable soul I have ever known. He was able to cure people of there fear of dogs. You couldn’t help but love him.
    He had bad arthritis in his hips and over the last six months of his life his food was not doing anything for him. He had tests and everything but nothing helped.
    It would of been his 13 th birthday tomorrow the 10th Jan and it’s just been so hard without him. I have two other dogs who mean the world to me also.
    Even though I know I done the right thing by him I feel so guilty and then I feel so selfish because I know it was the right choice. Then I feel angry because I can’t help feeling this way. During the day I’d fine but at night when I am in bed my mind just goes on spin cycle, what if this, what if that, maybe I should of waited. It’s heartbreaking😢😭

  • Nathan

    Nathan

    January 10th, 2017 at 4:57 AM

    Lorraine, I to have been through a similar ordeal, I posted last week. It is heartbreaking but if you truly loved your dog then you knew it was right thing to do.
    Only you can decide if it was right and like I said in my previous post, I loved my cat OBi but is allowing your cat/dog to living in pain and discomfort worth your happiness? If you love them then no.
    I hope you will some day come to terms with it, and just remember the good times you had.
    I still miss my boy obi, but it was the kindest decision you or I have had to make.

    All the best, Nathan

  • Sharon d

    Sharon d

    January 20th, 2017 at 8:25 AM

    Hello everyone I came hear seeking support and truly found it. My heart is broken and I feel so much guilt. I just can’t seem to stop thinking about my beloved dog. A year ago I got a baby pittbull. He fit in my hand he was so cute and adorable. I also have a pittbull that is a year and a half old. They got along fine for the first seven months. Then they both became so possessive over me that anytime the other came near me they would fight. The big fight went on for over thirty minutes. They were truly fighting til the death of the other one. We did everything to break them apart. I got bit, my house was covered in their blood, they both had deep punctures all over them. We decided to buy two cages and rotate them being out. Well this didn’t work either. They would fight through the cage and still get hurt. On their last fight we caged one and let the other one out to pee and he attacked an innocent dog walking down the street. Our lives had been so disrupted and stressed out we had to take him to the pound. I told them he had to be in a house with no pets. Then one of the workers walked out with another dog and he charged after it. So they said they had to put him down. Now everyday I’m crying and it’s been a month. I feel like I failed him and I feel so horrible for not being there when they put him down. I feel like he won’t forgive me for doing this to him and all he did was love me.

  • john

    john

    January 26th, 2017 at 2:49 PM

    I’m sorry for your loss. I too am grieving the loss of my dog Sammy of 12 years. I personally put him down and am feeling guilt and grief for being the one to do it. I love and miss him so much. Just know your not alone.

  • john

    john

    January 26th, 2017 at 2:45 PM

    I had to put my dog of 12 years down Jan 24, 2017 due to continuous rectal bleeding. He is a Shih Tzu and his name was Samson and he has been with me and wife since he was born. We would bath him and he would bleed right after and we could no longer keep him in the house due to the stench and mess. I live in the country and so I put him down myself the most humane way I know. I didn’t hit me until the evening. I feel so much guilt and depression. I miss him so much. I hope someone else reads this and knows how good a dog Samson was to me and my family. Rest in Peace Sammy.

  • Sharon

    Sharon

    January 26th, 2017 at 7:20 PM

    Dear john I can feel your pain! It’s haunts us everyday. I keep finding my dogs toys he hid and his hair on everything. And I know it sounds crazy but I swear I have heard his tags clinging together while he runs a few times. You did what you had to do for him. You are his daddy and you put him out of his pain and misery. That is no way to live,so it’s ok to forgive yourself. He was comfortable around you and he would have been scared in a vets office with a stranger. You kept him comfortable at home with you and your loving wife. I’m starting to forgive myself now but the guilt and what ifs I don’t think will pass no time soon. It’s amazing how much they mean to us and we realize so much more when their gone. I’ve cried a million times because my heart hurts so bad. But deep inside we know we made the right decision so please forgive yourself and it will be a weight off your shoulders. You can’t heal until you’ve done this. He is happy now and even though we can see him he will always be right there with you and your family.

  • john

    john

    January 27th, 2017 at 10:49 AM

    Thank you for taking the time to comment to me. It helps a lot to know others feel the same. Seeing his toys around saddens me too. I too swear I can hear his winning from wanting to come inside the house even though he is gone. After I put him down I left him in the woods to let nature take its course 2 days ago. I couldn’t bare that because I felt like I abandoned him. I went back this morning and his body was in perfect condition which is divine intervention around here. I collected him and took him to get cremated today and will have his ashes to keep with us. It has helped me a little to do this. Again I appreciate your comments as they are very comforting.

  • David

    David

    February 2nd, 2017 at 5:03 PM

    We put our 12 year old dog Ellie Mae to sleep several weeks back. She was diagnosed with cancer and was starting to show signs the desease was really taking over. My wife and I made the hardest decision ever to put her down to spare her from the pain and discomfort she was experiencing and with the worst the pain just around the corner. I never imagined the pain and guilt this decision would bring to us. We find ourselves continually second guessing and asking what if this or that, we have struggled with decision everyday since she passed. In our hearts we know this was the right thing for our dog but in our heads we have a different view. I have had many dogs in my life and have had to put several down due to old age, they had long happy life’s, it was hard but somehow the right thing for them, however this time is much different. Losing our Ellie Mae has been a life changing tragedy, it just isn’t right. I still come home at the end of my work day hoping for her to greet me at the driveway, reality quickly sets in and I realize this will never happen again. Our kids are telling us to get another dog, we are not even close to being ready for that, for now the pain and guilt is way to fresh. Loving another dog somehow feels as though we are being disloyal to our little girl like we’re replacing her, we could never come close to ever replacing her, she was to God. She is buried in our back yard with our other two dogs, birds and a life time of many different family pets. my only comfort is hoping they have her and are watching over her, after all she was the baby of the family. I find myself going back to her grave side daily and apologing profusely and sobbing and begging for forgiveness and hoping for a sign she understands why we did what we did, this sign has yet to come and may never. As I write this I feel as though I am pouring my heart out to everyone who has had to make the same choice as we have, it’s somehow comforting in a strange way. In the end the pain that Ellie was experiencing physically is now over, that pain has been transferred to us emotionally and for us to bare, I much rather hurt than her , in the end and in my heart I know she will never hurt again. We love you Ellie Mae..

  • john

    john

    February 3rd, 2017 at 12:43 PM

    I am sorry for your loss David. As I read your post every single statement you made applied to me also with my 12 year old dog Samson. It was a first for me so I wasn’t expecting to experience it. I know the loneliness you feel and I guess we get so used to our beloved pets that when they are gone its like a missing body part that we can never get back. Its like we keep expecting and somehow hoping they will be back again but when we realize that will never happen our emotions hit hard. I prayed to God that he may let my apology get to my dog if it is at all even possible and to let my dog know I love him and he was the best friend my family ever had. In my case I came to the conclusion that I made the wrong decision but I did it with good intention. Your case sounds like you made the right decision and I know how hard it is when your second guessing. Ultimately you gave that pet a better life than majority of animals on the earth and both you and your pet were blessed and privileged to have each other. My feelings have slowly dwindled down and life seems to be getting better as we get used not having our Samson. I hope this helps you to cope and don’t worry you will get passed this and feel better again. Just remember that when you feel good there is probably gonna be a time of sadness around the corner, but on the same token you will get out of the hole of sadness again too. God bless.

  • Connie

    Connie

    February 5th, 2017 at 1:14 PM

    I’m writing this for therapy. Gizmo was 16 years old. We got him from a dog breeder. They were going to put him down because his “bite wasn’t correct”. He had a wonderful life with us. At the end, he was deaf and blind. He would eat & sleep, but that was about it. I had to pick him up and put him outside so he could potty. Then, I’d have to go get him since he couldn’t find his way back to the house. His buddy, Jake, was 14 years old. We found out in November that Jake had cancer. After treatments, the vet said that there was nothing they could do. Jake was getting to the point that he could hardly walk. Neither one ever acted like they were in pain, but they weren’t my old “Jake and Gizmo”. We had them put down last Monday. I was at work when my husband sent me a text that he’d talked to our vet and he had said to bring them over. I wanted them to go together since they had been best buds for many years. I tried to get home before my husband left with them, but by the time I got home, my husband was back and said it was over. I have felt so guilty because I didn’t tell them goodbye and I wasn’t with them. In fact, I don’t believe my husband stayed with them while it happened. I haven’t been able to ask him about it…I can’t.
    So far, I’ve cried every day at one point or another. I keep reminding myself that they were old dogs, they weren’t going to get any better, and I’m sure that it’s for the best. I’m crying as I type this.
    Reading the other comments is comforting.

  • Kathy

    Kathy

    February 15th, 2017 at 1:22 PM

    The loss of a beloved pet is the same as losing a human. The loyalty and unconditional love is more than a human. My beloved Abbey the beagle will forever be in my heart. Rest in peace my love. You brought so much to my life. I cry for you every day.

  • Kim

    Kim

    February 26th, 2017 at 2:31 PM

    I’m having an extremely hard time cause my cat was put down 2 weeks ago cause she attacked me. Another thing that’s killing me is my boyfriend said not to go in the bedroom and later that day he said she was calm. I wish I went in there. I know exactly why she attacked me cause of his mom’s cat being brought up here right before she passed. My cat never got along with the other cat. It was her territory for over 5 years and she couldn’t stand being in the bedroom anymore so she went off on me. I feel so bad and hardly eat and can’t stop crying. I just hope she’s thinking about me in heaven and knows how sad I am.

  • Tricia

    Tricia

    March 1st, 2017 at 3:28 PM

    I made the decision to put my 20 month old German Shepard down 2 weeks ago. She had been hit by a car just before Christmas. I ended up doing surgery which resulted in an amputated leg, leaving her one back leg, which also needed to have the hip pinned back together because it was completely dislocated. I couldn’t bare to loose her, she was so perfect for me and becoming such a wonderful trail and hiking companion. Recovery was very difficult and hard on us both, she was over 80lbs and I only about 105lbs, having to carry her and lift her was brutal. She started doing really well and walking on her own till a couple weeks ago. Her hip would not stay pinned. The vet said he could do a total hip replacement for yet another $7500 and the recovery would be even longer and harder with again no real promise of a %100 recovery and likely not void of discomfort do to only having one leg. I Decided I could not put her through any more. And put her down. She was just a baby. My quilt is horrible. She was such a good girl. I am sick with grief and don’t know what to do. Hardest thing I have ever been through.

  • john

    john

    March 2nd, 2017 at 4:22 PM

    You made the best decision that you could have. It’s only after the fact that the guilt feeling makes you question your decision even though it was the right decision. You will overcome the grief with time.

  • Nova's mom

    Nova's mom

    March 6th, 2017 at 7:12 PM

    I have spent hours reading post after post on here. I am struggling whether or not to put my 13 yr old Husky cross down. She has possible Cushings Disease. Her liver values are high. But what is trouble in is she cannot rest. Her vet says it may be the Cushings, or may be Canine Cognitive Disfunction. Dog Dementia. She is in a panic most hours of the day. Pacing, panting and trying to get into small spaces. If outside she panics and tries to chew through the door to get in. She has ruined screen doors, wood trim, and other things. She chewed a chain link fence and broke 3 teeth and punctured her lip. I took her to the vet and they prescribed her Prozac and Xanax (temporary until Prozac kicks in) Its been 5 weeks and no change. What do I do?

  • Debbie B.

    Debbie B.

    March 18th, 2017 at 12:52 PM

    thank you for letting me read these sad comments it help some what I will always have this guilt love my boo.

  • Nova's mom

    Nova's mom

    March 24th, 2017 at 2:47 AM

    Update…its now been 8weeks on prozac with an increased dose. Still no change. Xanax is no longer working like it once did. She bit me and my husband once in one of her panics. I am struggling whether or not you put down a dog that has lost her mind but is otherwise healthy. Her body is not failing her, but her mind is. As a result of not sleeping and all the stress of this at 38yrs od I developed Shingles. :( what should I do?

  • Stacy

    Stacy

    April 2nd, 2017 at 5:37 PM

    I guess we are a community in pain. I put my 17 1/2 year old cat Rawley to sleep 3-weeks ago and am consumed by guilt and grief. He had kidney disease but actually went into free-fall after suffering a rare herniation of the spine that made him go from limping to doing a crab crawl in a couple of days. We took him to the neurologist, did acupuncture, laser therapy and saw many doctors. We decided against spinal surgery due to his age but they said he could still live a decent life. No one ever told him how to limit his movements or what he should or shouldn’t do (their faults – and mine for asking too late) but I moved him to the bathroom and he was so miserable (he was a big social Maine Coon kitty – from the shelter – and everybody’s best friend). I think I let him move too much. I would let him sit on his favorite chairs but twice even though he was surrounded by high pillows he got down on his own. He was so sad to be segregated and stopped from doing what he wanted to do so I came home every lunch and tried to give him time outside and in places he loved. I think I was really careless and his condition because more painful because of me. He stopped eating and went from regular food to broth to nothing. They put him on narcotics that were supposed to make him “euphoric” but I ended up having to take him to the ER in the middle of the night because he was shaking (I thought from pain but it turned out to be from the pills). We tried a bunch of different things. Then he stopped going to the bathroom. He started breathing heavy. I just felt like the last two weeks had little quality of life. Now I wish I had tried a drastic change in doctors and medicine, that I had taken him to the vet one last time. I scheduled an at-home euthanasia because he always hated the vet and I wanted him to die and peace. I took off work and they came in the morning. By then it sounded like he had an URI. How could I have let that happen – I should have taken him to the vet the day before. I just felt at the time like I couldn’t put him through anymore and it felt absolutely right at the time. Now I feel so so guilty. He was my best friend and my little boy. I failed him in a lot of different ways. I feel like when you are in the fog of it it’s just so hard to know what to do. I miss him so much. I would truly give my arm or a leg to have him by my side for the rest of my life if he could be here and happy and healthy once again.

  • My Blog

    My Blog

    June 15th, 2017 at 3:48 PM

    Hi to every body, it’s my first pay a quick visit of this website; this website includes awesome and genuinely fine stuff
    in support of readers.

  • Andy

    Andy

    April 14th, 2017 at 9:56 PM

    I need to put down my husky, Sesame, tomorrow. She stopped eating a week ago and was diagnosed with cancer in the lung as well as other organ issues. I am a 41 year old guy and I have not been able to stop crying. I had put down her companion 4 years ago and I know things will get better. Earlier today my family took her out and let her walk us. After a slow walk through the trail she led us back home. We took her to my parents so everyone can be with her one last time. My brother remarked that ever since her companion left her 4 years ago, she’s been waiting for his return ever since. She no longer slept in the same place where they used to. Instead she was always curled up by the front door. There’s an achy hole in my heart knowing what must be done tomorrow. When my mother had major surgery and was bedridden, my dog stayed by her bedside, head nuzzling her arm, refusing to leave even skipping her meals. This dog was by her bedside night and day for several weeks. We will do the same for her tomorrow and comfort her as she leaves us. I love you so much, Sesame.

  • Andy

    Andy

    April 15th, 2017 at 6:20 PM

    I cleared away most of her stuff after coming home. The front door where her doggie pillow was is no longer there and the whole house feels empty. I keep hearing things as if she is still around. I’ll hear the jangle of her collar and tags when she used to give herself a good shake. I took a look and imagined her there. Every little reminder of her, bits of fur in a corner, the darkened spot on the wall where she used to snuggle up against chokes me up. I’m watching TV and when I get up from the couch, I’m still stepping over as if she’s still curled up by my feet. My little kids don’t seem affected by it much and I try talking about it. I feel a little mad that they don’t feel the same way but I guess they never raised her as a pup. Sesame was already there when they were born. I’d like to get another dog again, despite the pain I know will eventually come. It always seems like that eventuality comes much too soon, to a beloved friend that deserves so much better. But now is too soon, as I explained to my kids – for now we will respect her memory and remember the joy and love she gave our family

  • Malinda

    Malinda

    April 16th, 2017 at 2:37 AM

    Andy, I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you did the right thing. She is now with her companion running free with no pain. I would hold off getting a new dog while you go through these emotions. It took me a few months when putting my dog down, which brought me to this site. Just take time and process the emotions you are having. They will get better just give them time.

  • Pete

    Pete

    April 18th, 2017 at 6:39 AM

    Today my best friend went to sleep he was 17. I had the best 17 years of my life with my mate Billybops, we went everywhere together from the second i drove in to the road coming home from work he would be waiting looking out of the window for me my wife said it was as if he knew the time. Oh i miss him so much. His back legs had started to go, he had kidney problems and in the last few weeks he got a brain tumour. He was an Alsatian who was as daft as a brush never showed aggression ever, only love, he loved meeting the other dogs on his walks and would play for hours. As im typing this the tears are getting worse but after reading all the other posts from fellow animal lovers i take comfort. He may be gone but he will never be forgotten. R.I.P. to my special little friend Billybops.

  • Kylie

    Kylie

    April 21st, 2017 at 10:51 PM

    Reading all these comments/stories has helped me realise that i am not the only person going thru such heartache and pain, guilty feelings and such loneliness in losing my beautiful boy.

    I lost my beautiful boy on the 29/3/17 he was only 11yrs old a chi , and diagnosed with CHF just before Xmas in 2016.
    His vet was amazing with regular check ups and medication we had a happy stable Sonny for as long as we possibly could, he was my everything,my little shadow,I have no children he was like a child to me, spoilt and just my everything.
    We had the chf under control for a good few months with regular vet checks, then all of a sudden one night the coughing and hacking just become out of control, up all night with my boy trying my damndest to keep him calm and comfortable till I could get him to his vet, who I knew he just felt so safe with, hours went by, and I drove to the vets and sat with my baby in the car for what seemed like hours, I did not want an emergency vet ,I knew I was going to lose my boy and I knew sonny would only want his vet, I was in tears trying to keep myself together when finally I saw the vet walking to his surgery, I yelled and he immediately came to our aid, he picked up my boy and I to this day could see the relief in my baby’s body language that he knew this man was here to help, yes I feel like shit for dragging it out for so long, but I could not bear the thought of a stranger taking my boy from me and I also knew that would totally stress him more.
    I lost my boy that morning, now just typing this I am full of tesrs, I would do anything to have my baby back, I know I made the right decision for him that day, it just eats me up so badly that I made him wait.
    What has helped me a little was I found out that the vet,was actually not even meant to go in to the surgery that day, so I believe now this was meant to be.
    My baby is at peace now , and that chf is a terrible disease, yes it can be controlled but once it decides it wants to take your baby it will.
    It’s only been 3 weeks since my boy has gone, I had him cremated, I have his ashes sitting by the windowsill Looking out watching , was his favourite spot.
    I understand your pain, each and everyone of you are feeling, but thank you for sharing your stories ❤️

  • Hope

    Hope

    April 18th, 2017 at 6:10 PM

    On Nov. 17th 2016 my Daisy(chihuahua) 11 yrs old got run over in my driveway by my great-grandson. Was my fault because I should have been watching her more closely. Took her to vet, back right hind leg was already out of joint got sliced all the way down. I had her spayed and she gained weight and I tried to keep her eating less. Anyway she went into shock and vet said that would depend on whether should have surgery or not. She was on life support. Well, next morning they did surgery and her intestines were bruised inside also and feet were swollen. On Sat. the 19th got to bring her home..fed her chicken bullion and I slept on the floor with her for 13 nights. She slept with my husband and me before and I knew with her injuries she could not do that. We got to increase eating to boiled chicken. We pulled her on a rug to her bathroom and she would use her wee wee pads on her on and than back to the doggie bed we went. On Wed. 27th had to leave her with vet in order to take husband for a venogram. When I left her he bragged about how good she looked all the swelling had went down and she was trying to get to me she did not want him and he said she was getting stronger. We knew she was to have more surgery because them waiting over night the first time let a lot of decayed skin and they did not get it all. When I picked her up after 1.5 days she was not my same Daisy that I left there. They must have let her fall or dropped her. I always brought her food to her and her water when she was at home. On Sunday before this I had started picking her up and carrying her to her bathroom. She would do her business. Well after bringing her home that Thursday night and seeing what I saw..it just killed me. I had her on antibiotics and pain meds in syringes while I was taking care of her. She was hot with fever and they had removed 2 stitches and said to let her lick them because that would help. She was in so much pain and they had her on valium and she was so miserable…Her leg was swollen more than ever before. Belly looked as if it was going to explode. She looked at me like momma help me. On that Sat. 12/03/2016, I did what I did for her…I had her put to sleep. I am 74 yrs old and that is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I kept telling her I was bringing her home with momma that I was not leaving her there no more. She went easy, eyes open and little tongue sticking out…brought her home and buried her beside our other dog, Sugar, who left out March 7th 2015. I still see her, I hear her, I watch for her..she was my baby…there will never be another dog I could have that would ever mean as much to me as Daisy did. I could not stand to see her pain and I could not take her to that vet again. Daisy and I had worked so hard together to get her were she was soo much better and then 1 day and a half it was all changed in reverse. I feel no hatred for anyone, I wonder if I did the right thing..yes I have guilt, grief and missing her. I just know that with all the syringes of pain meds I had and the antibiotics and the valium was not going to do it after what happened to her at the vet. I thank God that she gave me butterfly kisses…2 on the nose and 1 on the upper lip before the injection. By this I seen how really weak she was. They said it would sting but she was in so much pain she only gave a little sigh..I have pictures of her setting out. I am glad that Sunday that I was able to pick her up and take her to her bathroom. I will remember holding her close to my chest. Another great memory after the accident was on Tuesday before taking her to the vet..I picked her up and put her on the couch with me like we always did before. She laid her little head on my upper thigh and looked at me and looked so happy to be in a place that she had not been for 2 weeks. She closed her eyes and we laid there like that for quite a while. She was a smart and tough cookie…Her eyes did her talking. I never could get a picture of her head on…she did not like the phone or camera but as if it was a sign that I missed…i month before the accident I got a picture of her looking at me. Thank you Lord for letting me have her 11 yrs. Yes, I am crying and this is April 18th, 2017. It has got some better but the grieving is still there. I bought her a stone that says ” No longer by my side but always in my heart”. And that she will be…love your fur babies..don’t let anyone tell you that they are just dogs..Daisy was my Baby…I talk to her pictures…No I am not crazy this is how I get by…Oh Yes did I tell you that I loved her!

  • Jennifer

    Jennifer

    April 19th, 2017 at 5:29 AM

    I lost my dog of almost 17 years on January 17,2017 I had to help her transition and it’s been the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, my dog is my soulmate pet. The only thing that has helped me is watching Brent Antwater’s youtube videos she is the ‘Animal Medium’ and she teaches us that our pets are still with us after they transition, I also follow her facebook page and it helps to see all the signs people get from there pets. I also read her book After Death Signs. I now see the signs my dog leaves me and I feel my dog still with me, I miss her terribly but it helps to know she is still with me.

  • Andrea

    Andrea

    April 19th, 2017 at 2:32 PM

    Yesterday our beloved Tibetan Terrier Millie aged 8 was put to sleep. She was coughing, panting a lot,had difficulty getting comfortable and tired quickly on walks. After diagnosis of lymphoma -all lymph glands affected–we were offered 3 options- euthenasia, chemotherapy or steroid treatment.We were advised chemo would possibly extend her lifespan for a month or two but would make her feel miserable so we took the steroid route. After the initial diagnosis shock –I had thought symptoms were possibly her just getting older,slower and a fur ball causing the coughing –we took lots of photos, surrounded her with love and spoilt her. After one week she seemed ok- ish eating/drinking/toileting ok but became bloated, very lethargic and could not manage the stairs to sleep beside my bed or her usual walk. She was also panting heavily all of the time, could not settle and wet herself which she had never done before. After discussion with the lovely vet he told me that she would now only get worse– one tumour was pressing on her heart and affecting her breathing and the inevitable outcome could not change– I asked if it was kinder to let her go before she got much worse and he agreed it was. She was already lethargic and was put to sleep at home in her basket with me stroking her and talking to her. It as such a hard decision to take as we loved her so much and did not want to lose her but I do feel we made the right decision. She passed away peacefully surrounded by love in familiar surroundings. Should I have done the chemo route? Could more have been done for her if I had taken her to the vets earlier? Should I have waited a few more days ??My vet assures me we made the kindest decision for her at the right time and nothing could have changed the diagnosis outcome—-but…I cant stop weeping for my lovely furry friend– the house seems so empty— I feel she gave so much love,pleasure and fun, so many lovely memories Always loved and in our hearts.
    Reading other peoples experiences here has really helped me. We must do what we feel is kindest for our pet at the time we feel is right—it is the last act of love we can do for them.

  • Marie

    Marie

    May 3rd, 2017 at 3:27 PM

    Yesterday I faced one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Due to age and pain associated with a tumor growing I made a choice to peacefully let my beautiful cat and best friend of 17 years go. I miss her so much. I feel as though my chest is heavy and there’s a constant lump in my throat. I’m shattered. I have not slept or been able to eat much of anything. I know in my heart I have done the the right thing by taking her pain away but my heart aches and I wonder if I did enough for her. I just want her back :( home just doesn’t feel like it used to. To add to how I’m feeling Im also guiding my 6 & 9 yr old daughters through their sadness and grief, my eldest is absolutely devastated.

  • Ann

    Ann

    June 1st, 2017 at 3:19 AM

    One month after I had my beautiful 17 year old cat euthanized last August my beautiful husband of 25 years died..just two days ago I had to make the decision to have my 12 year old foxhound x beagle put to sleep..there are no words left to comfort me..now I and my remaining furry girl grieve alone……. once a happy ‘family’ of 5 we are now 2 sad lonely beings……getting another furry will not change what has happened

  • RusPrincessPP

    RusPrincessPP

    June 5th, 2017 at 7:16 AM

    I just couple hours ago lost my dog !
    She got hit by a school bus, I took her to emergency, but they couldn’t do much in there , and got her not to suffer we had to decide putting her asleep !
    I can’t ….. I did and now I can’t stop blaming myself … my lil baby just died , I didn’t looked at her for couple seconds, she never goes on the street !!! Here it is… I’m taking it really hard , I can’t be home all alone without my baby girl , she was only 3 years, she was my everything , and she is gone ….

  • Eric

    Eric

    June 5th, 2017 at 8:19 PM

    One week before I was to move. My Tuxedo cat ” Tux” started acting sick he would lay in bathtub & it seemed odd but he was still eating regularly. After 2 weeks he started eating less & less. It was then 1 week before I was to move. I took him to an Animal Hospital. They did labwork & said it was an Autoimmune problem where his red blood cells were attacking his own body. He slowly stopped eating & they force fed him. They gave him various medications and fluids to include steroids. I went everyday for 8 days & I’d sit with Tux for like 1 1/2 hours crying petting him & he would pur & hoping Tux would get better. It has been me & Tux only. I’m a 50 year old single man. He slept with me. I already suffered with depression & financially things with moving weren’t so good. I so loved him & can’t stop crying. I’m feeling such pain after Tux died on his own June 2,2017. The Umatilla Animal Hospital in Florida, Dr Manley been there 50 years. I told them I couldn’t afford much especially with moving expenses. They reassured me how Tux would be very affordable to help me. In the end after 8 days they told me the cost would only be $100 even & how the additional cost was a gift from the doctor & his wife. Then a lady Margaret whom is a vet tech there who cared for Tux said she’d bring Tux remains to her house and bury him in her private pet cemetery behind her house. They seemed so nice to help Tux & me in the end. I had to see a primary care doctor today for some Valuim to try and lessen the aniexty & sadness. How will I ever feel better without my Tuxedo cat ” Tux”, I’m crying now…..Thanks, Eric……I’m all alone in New studio apt without him in Mount Dora,FL now….Tux never made it to the new apt……

  • Deborah

    Deborah

    June 13th, 2017 at 1:10 PM

    I had to put down my best friend yesterday, Maximillian, a 13 year old golden retriever. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I can’t stop crying and miss him terribly. it’s hard to even write this through the tears. He was the sweetest and most loyal dog I’ve ever had. He hasn’t been able to stand for about 6 months now without me helping him unless he was on carpet. Then he progressed worse and he started falling when he walked. His hearing was going but that didn’t bother me. I’m feeling the guilt of letting him go too soon. I’m also feeling guilty because I didn’t tell him he was about to die. I only told him what a good boy he was and how much I love him. My family and friends all sad it was long overdue but I wish I had him back. He would bark when he was ready to be helped up and walked me to bed every night. I am single and he was my life. My home is so empty now. I love you Max! “Maximillian, worth a billion trillion zillion. Maximillian the best dog in the world! Coach Max that is for those that know him and love him.” That’s what I’d always tell him after a run. He coached me by keeping me going on morning jogs. I miss you Max and will never forget you! Thank you for all the love you gave me.

  • Bee

    Bee

    June 28th, 2017 at 10:06 AM

    On June 10th 2017 was the saddest of my life. Its been a couple of weeks now and I’m so destroyed. I can not handle it my family is worried about my health. But I can not seem to stop missing my baby. He was my baby. Yes I’m grieving more for my baby then any other person I have lost in my life. He was wonderful and loving and I knew he loved me like he knew I loved him. I feel like I don’t ever want to love again..

  • Debbie

    Debbie

    July 13th, 2017 at 4:42 PM

    I am sitting next to the grave of my Lola, my naughty little garbage dog got into the garbage…again…we thought she was just sick and watched her deteriorate for several days, I finally took her in only to loose her that day. I am grateful she died peacefully in my arms and I was able to let her rest forever on our farm. The loss is overwhelming, the guilt is overwhelming, the pain is unbearable! All she ever wanted was to be close to me, she didn’t eat or sleep until I was home next to her. I feel like part of me died on July 7th, and I guess it did. I hope she isn’t pining for me like I am for her, I sure hope she knows how much I love and miss her, I could have been a better mom, I should have been more patient and kind. So many others are urging me to get another dog and it actually offends me. My dog is gone, she can’t be replaced. I miss my best friend 💔

  • carole h.

    carole h.

    July 22nd, 2017 at 1:54 PM

    I can relate and have much empathy with the comments on this thread. I lost my dog jasper 6 weeks ago. He was 16 years old. I think the grief I feel is akin to losing a human person. Later I will most likely get another dig companion. As I like dogs very much. But for now I must allow myself to come to terms best I can after losing jasper. 22

  • Too SAD

    Too SAD

    July 30th, 2017 at 10:04 PM

    We just laid our sweet 15 1/2 year old fur puppy to rest 4 days ago, we knew the time was close, but within days his health declined. He would wake us early hours 1-3 a.m. paces quickly in circles at times on his tip toes. He was so very frieghtened as he couldn’t understand why his body was having seizures. He clearly was in pain although he was on several pain managment treatments. We could manage his sight, hearing loss and mobility decline, but when he showed us his pain and being scared, we knew it was best for him. During time on the floor comforting him to a calm state, I vowed to him, just a few more hours as it was 5 a.m. This was such a quick decision that our entire family was not able to join us. I washed his bed and brushed his hair with a light touch of doggie body spray. Since our son could not be there (his childhood buddy), I packed a photo of the 2 of them, his favorite BoBo toy and his clean bed for our trip to our kind Vet’s office. I recommend if your facing this decision, take a blanket to cover them just before they are given the sedative. This may not make your pet feel any better but you will, just knowing you didn’t leave them just laying there. Don’t look back after you’ve said your goodbyes, it hurts! If I had a do over, I would ask the Vet to let me stand in front until he drifted to sleep so I was the last one he saw, as it turned out when we settled him from standing he was facing the Dr. We both talked to him and petted his face and body while he was snoring which I’m taking away that he was comfortable. We continued to talk and love on him until he very peacefully passed. Stay with your pet, don’t chicken out as you want to comfort them as they pass onto the Rainbow Bridge. I may suggest that you hold your pet or sit on the floor with their bed (I didn’t but kinda think it would be less stressful for him). Our Vet’s staff spoiled him with a butter biscuit and CHOCOLATES! If I would have thought, I would have gone to the store and picked up watermelon and his favorite popsicle. If he could have sat up, I would have rolled the windows down as he enjoyed that when he was younger. Take LOTS of photos even the day of their passing, it’s helping me remember why we had to make that decision when we did and allows us to reflect on happier, youthful times. My last tip that I borrowed from someones post, I printed several copies of a great photo that he looks like his smiling. I tucked it in a photo card and wrote a special note to those who made him feel loved. I wrote as though Mr. Wilson was talking to them and included special memories appropriate for that person. Although, my heart is absolutely hearbroken, I think writing those sweet memories helped me some. I plan on making a photo book with funny captions for our grown son with a special memories page from Mr. Wilson to his best buddy!
    My heartfelt sympathy to each of you, I hope this will help you transition! Yours Truly, Too SAD!

  • Fia

    Fia

    August 10th, 2017 at 7:22 AM

    I am heartbroken, had to put my 11 year old cocker spaniel to sleep on Tuesday. I cant get her face out of my head. It was all so unexpected. one month ago I didnt even suspect there was something wrong. I took her to the vet for a check up. Picked up she had a leaking heart valve, put her on meds said we picked it up very soon. Week later I got home she was cold and very anemic and breathing rapidly. Took her to the vet next day. Did some blood tests, very low red blood count. Gave some meds. I took her again couple of days later after she started coughing a bit. Took x-rays. Saw what might be beginning of cancer in lungs. Very early. She was doing much better. after a week she stopped coughing. was lively, running around and barking like usual when she greets me. On Sunday morning she snuggled with me in bed for the last hour or so before I had to get up. Then Sunday afternoon when I arrived home after lunch I saw she looked weak. She was very cold, temperature 34 degrees. Very anemic. Phoned the vet, said I had to keep her warm and give her glucose. She got weaker and weaker. Had n fit later in the night. Early in the morning drove to vet again (he is in another town 100km away). He put her on a drip with glucose and stuff to help bleeding to stop. Said we must give her 2 drips and then bring for blood transfusion. She just got weaker and weaker, I phoned him again on tuesday. But she rapidly got worse. I sat with her, she could only lift up her head. Couldnt even drink water anymore. She was rapidly breathing and at stages lifting her head up to get more air. I was so sad, I could see she was struggeling so much. I picked her up she had no strenght in her body. After talking to another vet and with my familly I decided to put her to sleep. She was in her bed in the house, he came to our house. I am riddled with guilt. Not knowing if I should have done more. Maybe I should have tried another vet to give her a blood transfusion. I am feeling I failed her. She was my child, not my dog. She was always with me. Waiting for me. I failed her. I loved her more than I can say. She was such a special dog. There will only be one of her and I let her go. But I couldnt let her suffer, she was getting worse even through the day. She was the best friend I have ever had. I dont know if I will ever get over this.

  • Jorge S.

    Jorge S.

    September 10th, 2017 at 4:05 PM

    I just put my 9 month old goldendoodle puppy to sleep two days ago. I’m filled with so much sadness. It’s unbearable. He had been hospitalized for 2 days … couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him… his renal labs were abnormally high. Not until they did an ultrasound and found two underdeveloped kidneys that were no longer working. Both of them useless. There really was nothing to be done, his renal labs were so high they were saying he was in end stage renal failure. I was so in love with him. Diego. My best friend and confidante. He was so handsome and playful. Going home to my apartment is the worst, I keep looking for him in places he used to sleep and wait for me to feed him. I have cried non stop the past few days…. How did I get so unlucky? We never got any “firsts” Halloween, Christmas, or birthday. Each day it gets harder, I don’t know how I can keep going sometimes I am always trying to get out of the apartment and distract myself with things but he is still in the back of my mind. I miss him sooo much. He was my perfect angel. I can’t believe I will never see him again.

  • Paul D

    Paul D

    September 11th, 2017 at 2:46 PM

    So very sorry to hear of your loss. I know the sadness you speak of as I my own little guy had to go to sleep after our sixteen years together. I’m overcome by my grief at times but I like to think I will see him once again and hope that you likewise will one day again be together with your puppy which you obviously love very much — love never dies. Unfortunately I am too old and my health won’t allow me to get another dog but if you are able to handle another my suggestion would be to go out and find a puppy who although won’t replace the one you have lost, will nonetheless show you love and joy in the time ahead. You need not wait to do this. All the best to you Jorge

  • Pete R

    Pete R

    September 11th, 2017 at 5:12 PM

    Thank you Paul, for your kind words! Actually, that is what my wife did only two days after our loss. She couldn’t stand it. Also our other Yorkie, a nine-year-old female quit eating for over 2 weeks and would often stop and just stare out the back slider as if magically her brother was going to come around the corner.

    I forgot how much work a new puppy is. Our older dog is slowing adjusting to him although I forgot how much energy they have. He is keeping her more active whether she likes it or not and like you said, he doesn’t replace our Oliver, he does distract us in a positive way.
    Sorry for the loss of Buster. I pray his good memories will fill your daily thoughts of him.
    Thanks again,
    Pete

  • Kelly

    Kelly

    September 29th, 2017 at 8:45 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss Pete. We just lost our 14 year old Yorkie too. It was too sudden. I joined several online support groups and find that writing helps me a lot. My other Yorkie is scared because of how sad I’ve been. I am trying to hang on for her and focus my attention on her. She’s sweet and I think she feels a little lost without her companion. I feel for you and your family. :(

  • Scott

    Scott

    September 15th, 2017 at 9:06 PM

    It’s 2 months today I put Ranger down. He was almost 15, and had been struggling with cancer, so I know it was necessary. I loved that dog so much, more than any human. Every Friday now sucks for me, for that’s the day he died.

  • teresa

    teresa

    September 18th, 2017 at 8:30 PM

    my beautiful, perfect, cherished dog Lexi was 13 and 4 months old. she began panting excessively and i thought she was just hot a lot more than i. i bought a big, strong fan and left my AC running. i slept with the windows open even on chilly nights. it didnt help. last friday i took her to our usual vet. the was full of fluid and they suspected heart disease. advised me to go to a specialist for an echocardiogram. i did and got ultrasound. they found 2 large tumors on her liver, and one on her adrenal gland, and supported the heart disease diagnoses. they said she should be put down right then as she was in pain. how did i not know? she showed no signs. yes she was swollen, but she was eating and walking and loving. the lasix didnt help after a week. i thought they might be correct so i agreed. while in the office preparing she put her paws on my stomach and climbed up and hugged me. was she saying goodbye or saying get me out of here? i should have taken her home. spent one more day with her. im riddled with guilt and anguish. i fear she may be mad at me. i need forgiveness. im devastated without her. i miss her terribly and can not stop crying. i truly feel that they were wrong. they said she could have drown on her fluid retention. i couldnt bear that pain for her. i feel so lost and lonely without her. she was truly my best friend, my world. i pray she went knowing that.

  • Kelly

    Kelly

    September 29th, 2017 at 8:42 PM

    We let our beloved Yorkie Mocha bear go this Thursday afternoon. He was just a 6 month-old puppy when he came home with us. He was the littlest dog but the loudest personality I’ve ever met. He was sweet, playful, and sooo smart. He was totally bossy and energetic, very psychically aware and did not let anyone hold him except us- he was in charge of our household and took the role of the protector. He barked at every men and loved attention from the ladies. I was 20 years old, my very 1st pet with my husband. My sister lived with us, trained and taught him everything he knew. He was her sidekick and he was our family. For a whole 14.5 years.
    When I had long days from work, he would wait on the little mat while I showered – or sat his cute little butt on our feet as we got ready in the morning. When nights came and my husband was away on business trips, he would snuggle up next to me with his butt. I sang to him every time I gave a bath, as this was our special moments “I love you, you love me- we’re a happy family…”
    Fast forward to 14 years later, we knew he’d be deteriorating rapidly- he was not the responsive energetic bear we remembered him to be, and he had been taking longer and longer naps. He seemed to be heading to our bedroom earlier than we remembered- and we thought it was endearing, as he was getting older. He had slowed down a LOT, yes. He had trouble walking and waddled with some difficulty. We also noticed, he’s not able to jump any more, and was not able to get on the sofa with ease like he used to. Slowly we’d carry him up and down if there were any stairs or if he wanted to come up on the sofa. “Mocha wanna come up on the sofa?” I’d ask, and he’d wag his tail at me. Up you go my love.
    Little did I know, the last bath we gave him this Wednesday would be our very last together. I am so upset with myself, I forgot to sing the song to him.
    Now I am trying to deal with grief at his loss, guilt, and feeling terrible that I was not aware of his silent suffering at the last few couple of months. I took him to several vets over the course of the last 3 months trying to find out why he’d be coughing and wailing in the mornings. Lots of medications and 2 months later- a few weeks before our trip abroad, we discovered he had an eye ulcer brought on by dry eye syndrome. I should’ve rushed home everyday at lunch to give him the drops. I should’ve paid more money and tried harder to find out what was wrong.
    Then we came back from our trip, and although our dog sitter did everything they could but his eye got worse. I was worried out of my mind because he had not eaten for 3 full days. He LOOOVED food and had developed a juicy potbelly which I adored, normally he’d never turn food away. I knew something was really wrong. We went back to the vet again and again, and came home with more medications. When we were finally able to get an appointment with eye specialist due to the urgent situation, he had developed an infection around his eye ulcer. I sobbed as our vet told us, “Eye ulcer is the 2nd most painful next to bone injuries- you must give him his pain meds now.” I had been selfish thinking the medication was giving him strong reactions and didn’t want it to harm him. I was foolish and didn’t know how much pain he was in.
    We must save his eye! I researched online and people say, you can remove their eye they’ll adapt just as easily. I stress to my sister and my family, no we have to try to save his eye first. We tearfully decided as a family that we’d all chip in and help out with the cost of the surgery. Off to the eye specialist we went, but the eye Dr. noticed a couple alarming issues. His labored breathing and the cyanosis as his gum was blue. The eye Dr. was concerned about his heart and mentioned that in older dogs they may not be able to handle the anesthesia- often times eye removal is other option. After his phone discussion with our primary vet, we were recommended to hospitalize Mocha for overnight care with IV as he was severely dehydrated. We were also supposed to find out if he’s physically able to have the surgery.
    He was loopy, unresponsive, and extremely lethargic. I wrapped him back up in my blanket and held him gently as we drove to the emergency hospital. At this point, I can tell he was still hanging on for us for as long as he could. He knew how much we loved him and although he was in a lot of pain and the pain meds was knocking him out night and day- he fought hard to be there for us.
    My sister reminded me to tell him what’s going on, don’t just drop him off without talking to him. I thought I was ready for all of this. My husband had been telling me for months that he’s nearing the end of his life. I just shrugged it off, no he’s just fine honey he’s tired that’s why he sleeps a lot. We can still fix his eye. He will be ok. As the nurse brought him back at my request after an hour of the negotiation of the hospital bills of what procedures we could afford, I said to him. “Mocha honey, I loooove you. Mommy will come right back tomorrow for you ok. You be good. I will be right back tomorrow to get you.”
    Everything else that happened after this was a blur. The emergency Vet called us at 7am, asked us what was of primary concern to us in order to spend the money wisely. Then the internal Vet called us to recommend for us to take a look at his upper airways as he’d been having problem breathing throughout the night and an oxygen mask had been given to him to help him. At this point we were still thinking of saving his eye- is he fit for surgery I asked again. She stressed to us that his heart is fine, so we said yes to the last min change of plan and agreed to the Pharyngoscopy.
    She had asked us to stand by the phone in case of other discoveries, and when she called to tell us the news I must’ve been in shocked when she said the words “I’d recommend euthanasia today- while he’s under anesthesia.” Wait what? She explained that there was a “large tumor in the back of his throat, surgery or chemo would be extremely difficult for him. He’d live maybe another month; it would be very painful for him. Don’t wake him up.”
    I could barely speak, my husband looked at me as she was on speakerphone. There was a lump on the back of my throat; I could barely contain my tearful burst “like, you mean today? Now?” I was not ready to say goodbye. I was not ready to let him go. Not today.
    Let me call my sister I pleaded, “She’s supposed to come see him in 3 days. Can he hold on a little longer?” I cried. But I knew it’d no quality of life for him, with the eye drops for the infection 6 times a day and the pain meds. We cried over the phone as I shared the bad news with my family, and none of us could bear the thought of making him suffer any longer. We decided to let him go. I can still hear my sister’s heartbreaking cry that she didn’t get to say goodbye. “He’s been waiting for me, hanging on for me.”
    We needed to let him go, I knew it in my heart but the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.
    I know people talk about how humane and what a loving thing you can do to end your pet’s suffering, but the guilt regardless is insufferable. The moment we walked into the room and saw his little body on the operating table with the tubes in his mouth we lost it. My sister bawled her eyes out as I could barely hang on. I only remember touching him and kissing his forehead, telling him how much I loved him and how it was time for goodbye. He seemed so peaceful and was just taking a nap. I didn’t tell him that he wasn’t waking up today, I should’ve taken better care of him. Should’ve not gone on our trip abroad, and I should’ve spent more time with him.
    Every park I pass by now and every time I see people walking their dogs the sadness returns. It hit us the hardest when we came home after the hospital. My husband broke down and admitted he didn’t think it’d be this hard. He had been prepared for this for months. The empty bed by our bedroom now, and when I thought I saw him next to me on the sofa only to be reminded he’s not here anymore. I sobbed and sobbed. There are moments when I am ok, doing household chores and watching a little bit of TV. Then I see the spot where he used to lounge at, the blankets he would snuggle in. Those last few moments really ingrained in my mind and how quickly his health declined in merely 6 months. I regret not saving a lock of his fur for my memory, I cried again just now.
    I hope I will not cry as much tomorrow. We went out today for the first time. My husband had been hugging me a lot and giving me lots of love. At the end of the day, Mocha has had a good life with us. We gave him a safe home, loved him wholeheartedly and he loved us back. We were honored to have him as part of our family and he is the only special Mocha bear in our heart.

  • JR

    JR

    September 30th, 2017 at 8:26 AM

    My dog and best friend and soul mate Noa died suddenly 2 days ago I’d had her about 16 years since she was a rescue pup mongrel
    A few weeks ago I went on a holiday with my mum and I reluctantly put her in to kennels with my mums 2 younger dogs, after a few day abroad we got contact from the kennels that Noa was taken into emergency vets because she wasn’t eating and then I got the news she was on a drip because they had diagnosed kidney failure. We cancelled the holiday and bought flights back home immediately,
    She was so thin when i saw her but still lively and came over to kiss me, The vet told me shed eaten a little but I’d need to try and feed her up when she got home although it was touch and go I thought she’d be ok, the next day I went to the vets to collect her and she looked so much weaker and I had to carry her to the car, for 2 days and nights I didn’t sleep much she slept next to me but kept getting up and looking around confused and disoriented I took her out for a pee a few times and she ate a little but was sick soon after i was in such a state my brother and mum came to help me with her as i hadn’t slept much for the past week with worry. That night my brother stayed next to her.
    She died in the early hours with him and my mum by her side who she also loved. I’m sad I wasn’t there when she passed but am glad she was at home and she knew she had family around.
    This has absolutely crushed me she was my best friend I took her everywhere even to work, I get a lot of time off in my job which I spent solely with her going on hikes, hardly a day spent where she wasn’t walking or resting close to me, we went on many adventures and camping all over the UK together she was a very timid unusual little dog who liked to be with people instead of other dogs and had a character like no other
    I’m racked with guilt of what I should and should not have done in spotting illness earlier and what I did or didn’t feed her, I have cried for the first time in my life since being a kid and I can’t stop, when I close my eyes at night I can see her the way she used to stare at me when she wanted to go outside for a pee and the way she would happily trot over to me, waiting at the door always if I was going out, I reach to her where she slept still expecting her to lick my hand and shes not there and in the mornings shes not next to me anymore
    I can honestly say I’m in the worst emotional state of my life, much more than when I’ve lost human family members, I feel so alone without her can’t sleep or eat and have lost my energy I can’t bare to look at photos of her or hear sad songs without crying. She was irreplaceable and I don’t know if I will ever get over this, I feel as my heart as been ripped out, she was like no other

  • Pat

    Pat

    October 18th, 2017 at 2:51 PM

    My sister is feeling the same about her dog … I’m worried about her and don’t know how to help her… generally she is a strong person

  • Pat

    Pat

    October 18th, 2017 at 2:54 PM

    Replying to JR

  • Olga

    Olga

    November 2nd, 2017 at 1:27 PM

    I had to put my Pom down on the 21st of this month (October 2017). He was 15.5 years old and I’d had him since he was 3 months. It was by far the saddest, toughest most painful thing I ever did! I have lost so much weight; sleepless nights and reading stories online to assure myself that I;m not losing my mind! Although I would look at my little boy “Buddy” was his name; I knew he was getting old…I saw the white facial hair, I knew he was walking slower and sleeping more; eating less nonetheless he was still my “Little Boy”…my baby. He was diagnosed with Cushings about a 1.5 years ago; did well on meds. Had some good days and some not so good. His teeth were pretty bad and had lots of plaque…his gums were a bit swollen. I took him to the vet that Monday and she gave him antibiotics. Friday Oct 21st; I knew something was wrong; he didn’t want to go for the morning walk. He didn’t’ want to eat. I had to leave for work and asked my mom to watch him. Called 2 times to check on him; mom said something was wrong; he hadn’t left his little bed all day and didn’t want to eat or go outside to the backyard. I came home and found both his left legs were paralyzed; the front was lame I would pick it up and it would just drop. The back was stiff…he was in pain. Emergency blood work showed all his organs were out of norm…very elevated, esophagus enlarged, had to put a catheter on him cause his bladder was so large and he hadn’t urinated. As I spoke with the Vet about my options, he made sounds to let me know where he was…he could hear me talking to the vet. The sounds were not “I’m in pain sounds” just “I’m over here sounds” Vet said she didn’t really know what happened but suspected a stroke. She couldn’t give me a prognosis. I made my decision after much thought. I held him for a while before they prepared him and I stayed with him while it happened. There was no way he was going to be alone. All these days I keep playing in my head the “what if’s”, what if I had opted to leave him there for 3 days to see if he got better. I keep thinking he was letting me know “I’m over here mom” when they were putting the catheter on him. “I’m over here come save me” and I let him down! Instead…what did I do? What a betrayal! Never in my life…never have I experienced such guilt, pain, self hatred! I would think… God…speak to me!! What have I done to deserve this? Here is the hope I want to leave you with….today is a better day. I will never be the same; I will have him in my heart forever! I will cry more I know. But for a moment today I was feeling ok…I even laughed with some friends and shortly, after I felt bad. I thought…I can’t be happy; look at me laughing and all. You know; I’d prayed for God to give me peace…to make the pain go away…and he did. I realize that sometimes we hold on to the pain because we think we deserve it or that if we don’t hurt it means we didn’t love them. Anyone who is not going through something like this would not understand this. They would think of course you didn’t deserve it of course you loved him but a grieving heart doesn’t think straight! Today…every time I start to blame myself or feel the guilt…I thank God for 15.5 years; for all the good times and for letting me experience an unconditional love that I never thought existed…an endless love! It hurts much because we loved much! I am forever changed with this experience but…I’m sure I will love again and cry again…..for a four legged angel!
    Blessings to all of you who are grieving!

  • wanda h.

    wanda h.

    November 9th, 2017 at 3:15 PM

    Mimi,my little schnauzer companion, my loyal,patient and loving little friend, was put to sleep this morning after the horrendous diagnosis yesterday of diabetes and probably cushings. She was only nine and a half. She had suddenly lost loads of weight and was drinking water all the time and shaking her head. The vet told me that the prognosis was poor because the Cushings diagnosis meant the insulin treatment was compromised so I had her put to sleep in my arms there and then. Her loss has caused me such awful pain because she was just such a sweet darling of a dog and her big brother,my labradoodle is looking for her everywhere. God knows how we are both going to manage without her sunny little presence.

  • LJ

    LJ

    November 29th, 2017 at 9:56 PM

    Yesterday I had to have my 14 year old Pomeranian put to sleep. He had congestive heart failure and took a turn for the worse overnight. I had to rush him to the vet since he was having trouble breathing. I keep thinking he’s still here in my home and then I remember he’s not here anymore. It’s very sad and I hope I can recover from the loss. I wish everyone else well who’s going through the same thing.

  • blank

    blank

    December 20th, 2017 at 11:30 AM

    i have to put my 13 year old cat down. hes my first pet to ever put down. some people are willing to take him to the vet for me but he doedt know them and i feel like i should be there for him but its to much for me to handle. what do i do?

  • Malinda H

    Malinda H

    December 20th, 2017 at 2:57 PM

    Don’t let someone else do it. You need to be there. You will regret it later if you don’t.

  • LJ

    LJ

    December 20th, 2017 at 3:40 PM

    For anyone who is alone like I was when their pet is euthanized, don’t make yourself be there if you’re not able to handle it. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you’ll regret it if you’re not there. I have read stories of people who went in alone and were traumatized by the experience, so if you feel like you can’t be there, don’t do it (and the same goes for someone who does have someone to go in with them, if you think you won’t be able to handle it, don’t do it).

  • Malinda H

    Malinda H

    December 20th, 2017 at 7:12 PM

    All I know is I didn’t go in and I regretted it so much thinking was he scared without me? Did he feel that I abandoned him? I literally sat and cried my heart out for weeks because I felt like I let him down. It truly caused a depression I hadn’t thought would happen. I never considered I would feel that way. Such guilt brought me to this site back in 2015. I wanted so bad to go back and do it again but with me by his side, but you don’t get a second chance. That’s all I’m saying. That was two years ago and I’d still go back and do it different.

  • Olga

    Olga

    January 10th, 2018 at 11:28 AM

    To be or not to be with your pet when he is put to sleep. I think it is up to the individual. I was there but I wasn’t really there. Much of it is a blur to me. I remember stroking him and speaking to him…I really think it traumatized me. His little body felt so small…he looked so healthy even though he wasn’t. I don’t regret staying…I just wish I had been stronger for him…I was a crying mess! I also had to see a therapist because the grieve was so much. More than anything it is time that has helped. For those who have recently gone through this and wonder if it will ever pass; please know that it will. It will take some time but it will get easier. I still have sleepless nights and I cry at times but much better than the first 3 weeks or so. Blessings to all!

  • blank

    blank

    December 21st, 2017 at 8:32 AM

    update: im taking my cat today. any tips about taking him would be nice. thank you

  • Malinda H

    Malinda H

    December 21st, 2017 at 2:12 PM

    I just saw your message. I hope you made it ok today. No real tips. Just be with him and assure him everything will be ok. Talk to him and touch him.

  • Kelly P

    Kelly P

    January 2nd, 2018 at 3:37 PM

    Reading these comments have helped some. I put my labradoodle down on a Saturday of a three day weekend. I was not prepared for the pain, it was and is unbearable. My Tillie was either by my side or waiting for me for 12 years. She saw me through a divorce and made the long journey with me to a new home and life. I deal with so much pain as I had to say goodbye to her. I pray for a sign that she is ok in heaven and pray for relief from the terrible guilt. I wonder if I will ever be the same. I am trying as I know grief has a life of its’ own and it takes work. I have seen my doctor this morning for help, a good step towards healing.

  • Olga

    Olga

    January 22nd, 2018 at 10:28 AM

    Hi Kelly; I just wanted to offer a listening ear. I don’t know if this website will allow me to post my phn but here it is. I’m in Houston, TX I just know it helps to speak to people who have been through this. Yesterday was 3 months that I said goodbye to Buddy; last night was a sleepless one….but I’m trying to stay positive. Doing much better than at the beginning….time really helps.

    olga

  • Kelly P

    Kelly P

    January 10th, 2018 at 1:10 PM

    Thank you for the email on your experience with grief. It is going on 2 weeks now and I do believe I am taking on a new and better perspective of my beloved Tillie. I feel that as her caretaker I could have kept her going for another year. It was a complicated and desperate decision but what is done is done. I am glad to hear that after 3 weeks the pain lets up because I have begun to wonder if I want to go on feeling this way. Yes, I am getting counseling. Thanks for reaching out to me. I finally took out pictures of her and forced myself to see her, it did help and was good to remember how she was. She was so much more that a pet, I loved her more than anything. Sorry to be so tedious, I am so broken.

  • Mel R

    Mel R

    January 10th, 2018 at 9:32 PM

    This website has been so helpful. We put our kitty-Tabitha down today. She was 19 (almost 20). She had what we think was a stroke October 2016 and I nursed her back to 50-60%. She made it through her birthday April 1st 2017(April fool’s day) last year and we had a party. Her birthday on April Fools day was fitting because she was a handful! My son is 11 and although she was jealous when he was born I think he grew on her LOL. She was never a cuddle type of kitty (she definitely had a mind of her own and demanded her space:) but she had her own special way of showing you she loved you. She and I were always close and she would love to jump in my lap and “make bread”. She even started to do this with my son a few years ago and (which we couldnt believe). He has definitely grown attached to her over the years. I think he was always disappointed that she was already technically and elderly cat when he was at the age when he could play with her and wished he would have known her more as a kitten. However, she was pretty spry in her old age and was known to chase him and let him play with her with her cat toys from time to time which he loved. Anyway, after the stroke she developed vestibular disorder (which was such a bizarre diagnose since we had never heard of it). She started to sleep more but I must admit she would still eat well and drink really well.
    Several months ago she then lost her eyesight (I think she had a blood pressure problem which caused the stroke and partial blindness at first and we did put her on medication for a while). However, her eyesight was pretty much gone so it was too late to save her vision and I felt so guilty and wished we would have known. We were very picky about her food and diet but I guess that just wasnt enough. When she went blind it was hard to watch but she still seemed happy to be around us and would still purr. We took her to the doctor who knows her well since when she first boarded there 16 years ago when we moved to the town. Funny story about her boarding experience there. She was a handful and thinks she was human so she was not used to being kept in a cage. My understanding is when they went to feed her she slipped out and they had a time catching her. Needless to say she had definitely worn out her welcome there LOL! We decided that for boarding wasnt for her and had a neighbor cat sit. Unfortunately, a several months ago we could tell her health was failing when she couldnt control her bowels so we began discussing quality of life and he was very understanding and said it was really up to us and a “wait and see” type of things with cats. She has had a thyroid problem for the past few years and we also had her treated for that. Over the past few months though she started to lose weight and we knew she was probably not going to get better. Since she was still cognizant and aware of us I just couldnt euthanize her so I made her a “hospice” area in the garage and in the kitchen and nursed her as best I could keeping her comfortable. Since she could no longer control her bowels we would keep her in the garage pretty much all day and bring her in when we got off from work leaving her in her carrier since she would just wander around in circles. I wish we could have held her more in the last months but she could not hold her bowels. We even tried diapers and she was just not having that. Still since she was eating well and drinking I kept nursing her and keeping her as comfortable as possible. Sadly enough we went into the garage a few weeks ago and couldnt find her but could hear her crying. We found her collapsed and unable to get up (she had also urinated on herself) so she was experiencing kidney failure. We rushed her back to the vet and he said that she was slowly deteriorating and we knew it was time to make a definitive decision. He never pressured us though which was kind. Although he was very honest about her condition and stressed her age. I had called before the holidays to set up an appointment to euthanize and called back and cancelled. I just wanted to spend more time with her and know that was selfish. It was just such a hard decision since she always seemed so peaceful. However, after the fall in the garage a few weeks ago I knew when I made another appointment there would be no cancelling. We took her home and over the next few weeks since it was around the holidays decided to hold off until after the holidays. She did not appear to be suffering and was still eating and drinking so we decided to wait until after the Christmas break. We had to travel and boarded her and I was so scared she wouldnt make it but she seemed well enough and they said she did well while we were away. When we came back after Christmas the vestibular disorder was getting worse and she would just stare off into space. She could no longer make it to the litter box to urinate for the past week and I knew it was time to call to set her appointment. It was so hard to do. I set it for Thursday January 11, 2018 so both my husband and son could be there. This morning (January 10) we got up and she had urinated all over herself in her makeshift hospital area. I washed her up and put her in her carrier hoping she would make it until Thursday when we had scheduled her appointment. I feel so bad because I had to go to work and had to leave her (although the day before I did get to spend the day with her while she slept in her carrier). I was planning to sit and hold her through the evening before taking her on Thursday. Fortunately, I only worked half a day and raced home to check on her. She was doing much worse and had not moved and had urinated again. I washed her again but she gave a weak meow and I knew we had to take her today. I decided that she couldnt make another day and I didnt want her to die alone overnight so I called the doctor. Her regular doctor was out but the secretary said she would check and see if the other doctor could see her. I waited a few hours and began to worry that they may close and we would have to watch her pass overnight or be devastated finding her the next morning having passed so I called back. The doctor said he could see her so I called my husband and my son and I met him there. She was listless and could barely meow. I wanted to give her another bath because I hated to take her with since she had urinated on herself again but she seemed like she just didnt want to be moved so I washed her off as best I could and lined her carrier with padding. We took her and and the staff and doctor were so nice and understanding. We didnt have to wait too long and we took her back. We all stayed with her and talked her through her final moments. I wish I would have held her again but it just seemed like it was better to let her lay on the table with the towel as a blanket while we rubbed her. We all gave her a kiss goodbye. Fortunately, I did get to hold her Sunday when I gave her a bath and groomed her and I could tell she really enjoyed it. For the first time in ages she didnt squirm or wiggle for me to put her down so maybe she knew it was time. My son (age 11) held up until the very end when she finally slipped away and then he finally broke down. He tried hard to be strong and I know it was hard on him too. I just think its important for him to understand that we are all born to die and that she had a very long, wonderful life. My husband cried as did I. The hardest part for me was when the doctor came back in and checked her heart and looked directly at me and said “Tabby has passed”. I will never forget those words. He was so sweet though and gave me a hug. We stayed with her a little longer and left. She was our family and our first “baby”. We have moved across states and lived in multiple homes and she was always there. I do feel like it was finally her time. I wouldnt want her to have passed in the night alone so I am glad we could all be there. We travel a lot for our job and I would have been devastated if we would have been out of town and got a call that she had passed without us there. I could tell in her little faint meow today that she was ready. I know we were not ready (and you can never be ready for this). However, I just knew in my heart it was time to let her go to “kitty heaven”. Thanks for reading my story about our “Sweet Tabitha”:) Peace and blessings to you all.

  • Olga

    Olga

    January 12th, 2018 at 6:38 AM

    I posted here a while back about losing my Buddy on Oct 21st. Just wanted to share a little something.
    I had to see a therapist to help my grieving. It helped a little but mostly time has helped. I still have nights when I can’t sleep thinking what I could have done differently. My Buddy had cushings disease and he struggled with it for 1.5 years…he was almost 16 when I let him go. My sleepless nights are spend thinking of things I could have done to prolong his life because I wasn’t satisfied with 15.5 years. So here is what I want to share; everyone here at work knows how much I struggled with Buddy’s death. They have seen me lose so much weight; miss work or leave early because I was so sad. Yesterday a co-worker came to me and told me he may have to put his dog down. We talked about it and I asked how old his dog is…he said she is 8. I told him I would be praying for her and for him. He was almost in tears; he is known as a tough strong guy here at work…but oh the love we have for our pets! Last night was a sleepless night for me….but I got to thinking about my coworker and his dog. Eight years old; I thanked God that I got double that time with Buddy. I know that for most of us any amount of time is not enough. This just made me think that I should really count my blessings! I hope you can count some blessings. Even if your fur baby was young 5, 8 or 9…they made not have had 15-16 years…but if you look for the blessings there has to be some. Maybe you can remember the time they got lost and you put fliers out and found them. Maybe the time where you almost lost them but you caught that disease on time. I know it’s tough and it seems that all we can focus on is the fact that they are not here anymore; believe me I’ve been there. I believe there is a God and there is an “enemy”…every time you have good thoughts and feel peace about your baby….that is God. When you feel guilt, regret and sadness…that is the enemy. Which one will you let have control?
    I pray that you find peace…through your grieving process.

  • Mel

    Mel

    January 13th, 2018 at 3:11 PM

    Thank you so much for these words of support. Sorry for your loss too. It really helps to know others understand. I should be thankful we got 18+ years with Tabby…it’s just hard sense you think that your furbabies will always be there for you. I also spent a lot of time nursing here back and forth in her health so it’s hard to fathom this time she didn’t bounce back. I keep wishing I would have spent more time with her or took off work the day she got really ill. I just think I believed she still had more time and she would be better when I got home. A lesson learned to not put off for tomorrow…
    I still keep running through my mind what I could have done differently but know that it was her time. She was so tired and weak that it would have been selfish to make her hang on longer. Thanks again for thinking of me and responding. It meant the world to me. Peace and blessings.

  • Nicola

    Nicola

    February 12th, 2018 at 1:30 AM

    I needed to hear that. So often, people remove God from the picture and the blessings He has given us through our fur babies.

  • Nicola

    Nicola

    February 12th, 2018 at 1:27 AM

    Today at 17.00 I have to take my pretty little girl, Mary, to be put to sleep. As a Jack Russell X she is an energetic, nosy and ‘talkative’ little one. She has a very enlarged heart that is making breathing hard. Her lungs are starting to fill with fluid. She lost weight and she’s lost her sparkle. The vet said that heart disease doesn’t get any easier for the dog and can’t be cured. Why do I feel so guilty? She trusted us. But last night, she wouldn’t eat. She went to lie in a dark corner in her bed early in the evening. Suddenly she just looks so tired and strained. I know this is best for her as her quality of life could not be improved despite meds. Will this guilt pass? I feel like I’m betraying her.

  • OLGA M

    OLGA M

    February 15th, 2018 at 9:11 AM

    Greetings Nicola; yes…I believe it will pass. I’ve read that many people feel guilt regardless of how their pet passed or what the illness was. As I read your post I think that there is no way anyone could have control over an enlarged heart; not to overrule the way you feel but what I mean is that someone looking from the outside would not see why you should feel an ounce of guilt; but I know,…I’ve been there….we will find something to feel guilty about. It’s funny that you mention the dark corner because toward the end my Buddy started hiding in a corner by my kitchen. Just the other day I thought to myself “Was he hiding from me; cause I was the one giving him the medicine he hated to take?”…and there I went again…found something else to feel guilty about. Truth is he probably just felt ill and that is what they do….they find a place to be alone. It will pass Nicola : ) This month on the 21st will be 4 months for me; I’m doing so much better. There are times that I am fine and it seems I search for things to feel guilty about or just for sadness; I think in some silly way we think that we HAVE TO mourn them and that if we don’t it means we don’t care. I believe we just have to GO THROUGH IT…but it does get easier with time. Every time I get guilt thoughts I quickly replace them with gratitude…I will speak out loud and thank God for the time I had with Buddy; I do a little thing where I start with the day I got him and I remember every thing I can…Like where we lived (we moved many times) the parks we would frequent; the swimming we did….and if I feel interrupted by a thought of guilt I do my best to continue the “little movie I play in my mind” the movie “The beautiful and blessed Life of Olga and Buddy”….may sound silly but hey whatever it takes to keep that evil guilt away!!! I will keep you in my prayers.
    Olga

  • Nicola

    Nicola

    February 19th, 2018 at 5:34 AM

    Olga, thank you so much for your reply. I’ve been through every emotion since Monday. It’s a been a week today since my Mary left. When we got to the vet, she wasn’t scared. We held her, told her loved her and it would be ok. I believe God blesses us and demonstrates His love through others and that includes animals. The little souls that are our companions. Last week, I found myself sobbing at least twice a day, feeling inconsolable. But I give thanks to the Lord for Mary’s short time with us. She made us laugh, frustrated us, followed us around the house (even waiting outside the shower for me to get out!). I really appreciate your comment and thank you for your supportive words and prayers.

  • olga M

    olga M

    February 21st, 2018 at 7:06 AM

    Awe…Nicola. I know it is so difficult; everyone gives us advice…I give advice…and we do our best to take the advice…but sometimes the pain is so much. Sometimes we just need to release the tears….let them roll..they heal us. Just want to remind you that time helps a lot. So keep that in mind. We will never forget them and the pain and tears will be less. At times when I would start feeling better the enemy would attack and make me feel like I shouldn’t be happy…like I needed to be sad and hurting…that is a lie. We loved our fur babies, we provided shelter, food and much much love…mission accomplished! We gave them a good life and a good death. When I start feeling guilt about euthenizing…I think “Ok….would I rather he died painfully, alone? No! Good Life – Peaceful death!
    Blessings

  • dave

    dave

    March 14th, 2018 at 11:37 AM

    To olga M. I Just read your comment . Thank you. For your words talking about ” the enemy” of our human
    existence and emotions is real . The comdenation has been on me every day since my dog MIkey’s passing. I believe it was the enemy that took my dog that day as i went into the vet just to see if my dog was ok. Once in that vet room, I totally lost my mind I couldn’t think and i really needed some one to say to me take your dog and think about it first. For I have been an emotional wreck for a tear since he passed on March 12, 1017. Yesterday its been a year since he’s been gone. I was in such total shock that morning and I didn’t even pet and love on my dog. I was like another person one I don’t like nor ever again trust. When they took my dog out of the room to put the catheter in his leg they took him out backwards as he was facing me. His beagle eyes got really huger with his eye brows becoming wide like saying to me ” where are they taking me dad? Aren’t you going to stop them from killing me “? And I remember all I could do is just sit there looking at him as I hung my head down. It was obvious “the enemy” was getting away with his plan of stealing my dog forever. As they brought him back in with the catheter, they set him on the mat and I got down on my knees where I was face to face with Mike. He seemed like he was at peace and I didn’t cry . I was so afreaid to upset him or the ******* vets would of told me to stop making so much noise for when I cry I WAIL. I was trying to hold back. Once the two shots went in he stiffened his nose and I then got up and then left. I was more than sad. I wanted to go with him . I wanted to die and go with my dog. For my life is so horrible and without mike with me all the condemnation every moment of the day since that day a year ago , goes directly at me and it is at the point to where I want to commit my own suicide, The enemy you wrote of in one of your comments is the same one who has claimed me too. I truly don’t know what to do. I wish I could afford to get out of atlanta and go someplace else. I am really stuck. I would leave today but my truck i don”t think would make it.
    Mikey was the best dog. He deserved much better than how I ended up ending us being together. Boy, I need some help here.

  • Sean M.

    Sean M.

    March 10th, 2018 at 9:14 PM

    I just had to put my 14 year old cat to sleep. He was my rock. At one point in time I felt he was all that truly saw me and cared for me. I am only 16 and I thought I would have more time. To see him struggle in pain killed me and so putting him to sleep was the only option for me. I am glad my family chose to do that because the vet cleaned him up, wrapped him in a warm blanket, and let me pet him until he passed. If we didn’t do this he would have suffered and died alone and covered in his filth and he deserved better. I hope people stop condemning euthanasia.

  • dave

    dave

    March 14th, 2018 at 11:03 AM

    Of all the times I happen across all the dog forums I wished I would of seen all the information that the web has on the topic of euthanasia and all that is involved in EVEN thinking about putting my dog to sleep. I am so behind the times as too I am an old man whom a year ago yesterday on March 12, 2017 I went into a vets office to see if my beagle hound dog MIkey was alright for his arthritis was pretty bad and he had eaten a hot dog and his poo was red. I got totally lost while in the vets room and next thing they said after probing him over that there was nothing else they could do for him and the only other option was to put him to sleep.
    They didn’t even offer any medication that they could of given him and I could of left with MIkey. He was not
    sick and he had no terminal diseases that I knew of. I loved that dog so much and I just saw him struggling that morning and I should of protected him and myself and left when they said there was nothing elase they could do. I just dont understand what happened that morning and i know I did it too soon for not on.ly MIk,ey but for me too. I absolutely was not ready and the vet should of suggested I take him with me that day and thought more about it. Mike was seventeen and a half yhears old and I had rescued him when he was one year and a half years old. I love beagles and he was the unmistakable arch angel and protector of my life.
    He rarely barked and was so incredibly great at being house trained. I am lost without him. A hard year has gone by and I am always by myself with no family, partner or friends . Mikey was the best friend and companion for he became the most mightiest thing on earth to me and I miss him so much. I have been so distraught ever since he’s been gone and it’s literally killing me. I used to have ny own business , my own house for over twenty years and thank god mike was a part of the good times when I had rescued him. Now today I lost my business , I lost my house, I have an old beat up truck and its now where I live . I am a 59 year old male , health not very good and I totally miss my beagle dog. I live in Atlanta ga the worst place to be in my situation. Mikey was my life blood. I saw him hurting one day on that march 12 2017 morning and i panicked. A week prior tho that day he had run and he had become very sore
    from his arthritis for we sat in the truck alot and he didn’t get the exercise like he used to. All through his life we went on many many walks as it was his favorite and always made me so proud and happy as he was the most adorable beautiful beagle hound i had ever seen with a beagle nose and face that would melt your heart.
    and I made the worst decision at that moment in the vet. There has been all the ” I should of done this I should have done that” sort of thinking and I really cant stop thinking how I let Mikey down. I couldn’t
    afford to even get his ashes. I never planned on putting my dog to sleep and with all the helpful advice I have
    just now see on the internet about the subject I never knew was there. My phone was stolen a few weeks before all this happened and I lost all my pictures of Mike that I had. I have only one picture left of him and I
    of when he was ten years old.
    If any body reads this I do apologize for telling all my personal problems and dilemmas but I am truly suffering and It all is surrounds the fact that I let MIkey go too early both for him and for me. Yes he was a major senior dog and for all his life he was always a very healthy dog. For most of his life he was pretty spoiled as he wouldn’t eat dog food he always ate people food. He loved roast beef and steak . It was a joty to spoil him. But over the years i believe it was not great for his dog body. before he was put to sleep, for about a year he had lost alot of weight. I admit i couldn’t afford to keep regular vet visits. And thats again my fault. I guess one could say I loved my dog to death. I should of planned before hand and I should of done better for him and I should of loved on him more. I blame my self for all of this. The guilt the shame and so many many many tears still come on me. Thank you for all your stories of great relationships with your animals. I truly miss my dog and our great relationship we used to have. I wish you all peace as I wish I had some.

  • Olga

    Olga

    March 14th, 2018 at 7:35 PM

    Dave, I can feel your pain through your words. I too fed my dog human food for the later part of his life which I regret doing but I recall the joy in him when he got some chicken,steak, and all that yummy stuff. Nothing in the world made him happier so I have to remember that I did it out of love never with bad intentions. I also feel that I should have asked more questions I should have bright him home but as time goes by I realize all that would have been best for me not for him. For him rest and peace was best which is what he has now. For all the things I think I did wrong…at least I did one selfless thing right which was to let him go peacefully… not alone st home.. wondering where I was.. scared. I was also frozen in fear when I was with him in his last moments… I spoke to him but not as much as I wish I had. I now play scenes in my mind of how I wish I would have acted during his euthanization… I create the perfect goodbye. But the good news is.. we are not perfect… and even as flawed as we are… our babies adored us!! To them we were PERFECT!! Please try to be easy on yourself. If u your story was someone else’s you would probably be comforting them… why can we have so much compassion for others but not for ourselves? It’s a battle…the voice of truth gives comfort.. the enemy condemns and accuses… who wins? The one we feed the most!! The one we allow the most. you did the best you could at the time. You must have done A lot of things right for 17 years!! 17 years of love and caring for your baby!! You have to believe… with all your heart that he deserved rest and peace… that there is a place where he lives on and that you will see him again. I believe… I really do!! Be good to yourself…I am thinking of you and I know that if you will allow him God has good plans for you and your future. By God I mean anything or any one you believe in.. Jesus Christ… Energy… whatever you call God… you just have to believe that you are deserving of those things…AND YOU ARE!! ❤️

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    March 14th, 2018 at 6:06 PM

    Thank you all for sharing your stories here in this community of support. Grief from the death of a pet can be difficult. Talking about it can help; so can a trained counselor. You can search for a therapist near you, here: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

    You can also read “Working Through Grief When a Beloved Pet Dies”: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/working-through-grief-when-beloved-pet-dies-0809175

  • Jeni G.

    Jeni G.

    March 21st, 2018 at 4:30 PM

    I needed this article today. I had to put my 14 year old lab down this past Saturday. I have been ridden with guilt and heartache. The doctor’s could not figure out what was wrong with her. After loosing 10 lbs in a week, not eating and respiratory problems, I made the heartbreaking decision to let her go, to play with our other 14 year old pup we put down in 2016. I miss her greatly. We have 2 other younger dogs at home who are a complete blessing. They are helping our whole family to get through the pain, through laughter, love and cuddles. When I am alone with my thoughts, I pray that my pup knows why I did what I did; that I loved her more than anything and that it was time for her to rest and be pain free. Guilt is a horrible emotion, no matter what the situation is. This article truly helped me to remember to take it a day at a time. Time heals. It can’t be rushed. Everyone is different. God bless you all who have lost your fur-babies! <3 – Jeni

  • Ella

    Ella

    March 21st, 2018 at 5:06 PM

    I found out that tomorrow afternoon that my cat that i’ve had since I was 4 is going to be put down. And I might not be able to go and that’s hard for me because I want to be there when my cat goes. His name is Scooby. I love him so much and he’s only 9 but he’s been sick and we don’t want him to suffer but I’m going to miss him so much. He was a big part of the family. I don’t want him to go but he has too. I just wanted to share this..

  • Aaron

    Aaron

    May 23rd, 2018 at 2:44 PM

    It’s been a year since I felt it was time to euthanize my tuxedo cat Mr. Sluggo. He had diabetes at that point for 5 years, was diagnosed with low grade intestinal lymphoma 3 years earlier and had chemo for that. Finally he had high blood pressure and chronic kidney disease the past year. His blood work was looking worse and worse to the point of kidney failure. He’d been wasting away from 14 pounds down to 9 and one day he just stopped eating. I took him to the specialist for a feeding tube and was following the prescribed feeding tube diet and in a couple days he developed severe diarrhea. I noticed he was stumbling and falling because he couldn’t get his hind legs to work and at that point, I just said “it’s time”. I was with him during the euthanasia, he was purring and went to sleep purring with me patting his head and kissing him. I still have no doubt this was the right decision at the right time, but I miss him and think about him a year later.

  • Carri

    Carri

    May 29th, 2018 at 2:22 PM

    GE. SHE HAD DEVELOPED OVARIAN INFECTION MAYBE DUE TO LAST LITTER WE WENT TO A VET HOSPITAL AND THE DR. SAID SHE NEEDS TO GET AN APPT AT SNAP SPAY/NEUTER PROGRAM AND THEY COULD FIX HER. BUT WE DIDNY EVEN KNOW WHAT MEDICAL TERM THIS WAS TILL THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE WERE BACK TO GET HER HYDRATED AND NAUSEA AND ANTIOBITCS ALONG WITH A INJECTION TO MAKE HER EAT SHE HAD NO APPETITE.. I WAS FREAKING OUT MY BABY SAGE WAS TURNING INTO A SKELETON SLOW MOVING AND THIS VET SENT ME HOME WITH MEDS AND I.V TO ADMINISTER MYSELF. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT AND SAID I COULD U TUBE IT. NOW AFTER A WEEK OF THIS LAME VET NOW TELLING US THE NAME OF THIS PIROMIYA I WOULD HAVE TAKEN MY BABY TO SNAP THE FOLLOWING DAY TO HAVE HER PROCEDURE DONE BUT THE VET WASENT VERY STRAIGHT AND I HAD TO PUT MY BELOVED SAGE TO SLEEP YESTERDAY 5/28/2018 THERE WAS NO SAVING HER EVEN IF SHE WOULD HAVE HAD SURGERY HER BODY WAS SHUTTING DOWN AND I KNEW THIS BY THE WAY SHE WAS BREATHING .WAS GOING CRAZY AND IT WAS MEMORIAL DAY NO VETS OPEN AND I CALLED ONE PLACE MISSION ANIMAL HOSPITAL WHICH IS AN AFFORDABLE CLINIC. THE MORE I TALK ABOUT THE PRIOR VISITS TO OTHER VET I COULD HAVE SAVED MY CAT BY RUSHING TO SNAP AND HAVE SURGERY DONE I’M BLAMING YES I AM ONLY BECAUSE IF SHE WAS INTO SAVING LIVES THEN SHE WOULD HAVE CALLED SNAP AND TOLD THEM THE URGENCY OF SURGERY, SAGE WAS ONLY A YEAR AND A HALF. AND MISSION LET ME CRY MY HEART OUT ALONG WITH MY MOTHER WHO WAS THERE TO TAKE ME AND SAGE ANYTIME I NEEDED TO GET HER SOMEWHERE. I JUST FEEL I LET MY CAT DOWN. I HAVE SAGES MOM FRANCIS, SAGES SON (CABE PHILLIP BERNARD BARNYARD MAYHEM) CABE HAS MANY PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM AND HAVE A NAME THAT THEY FELT FIT THE LITTLE S*** WHO I REFER TO A 2-YEAR-OLD BOY WHO’S 7 MONTHS OLD, SAGES 2 BROTHERS BEAST AND SCREAMER BUT ITS NEVER GOING TO BE ALRIGHT FOR ME TO THINK THAT THE VET DIDN’T HELP ME TO HELP MY BABY AND SHE KNEW WHO MUCH I LOVED HER MAKE A CALL TO HAVE SAVED HER LIFE I WEEK EARLIER MY BABY WOULD BE ALIVE TODAY. WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO WAS DONATE SAGE TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA ,,I LOVE YOU SAGE,

  • Corey E

    Corey E

    June 11th, 2018 at 9:03 AM

    My wife & I just had to “let go” of our 4-year old doberman named Miles, yesterday morning. The grief & heartache I feel is worse than I imagined it would be. Miles was diagnosed with DCM (dilated cariomyopathy) 7 months ago. His heart was failing, and wasn’t pumping nearly as efficient as needed. I remember that day 7 months ago when he coughed and had fluid filling his lungs. We took him to the ER and he was on Oxygen & Lasix (to clear the fluid) for over 2 days. He was only 3.5 years old. While he was there, I prayed to God to bring him back even for another day, and I would be change all my bad habits and be the best person I could be. He came to us for 7 more months, and we appreciated every minute of it. Since that day, he’s been on 4 medications, 5 supplements, of at least 10-15 pills twice a day. He pees at least 20 times a day, and has always had a hard time getting comfortable because of his enlarged heart. He can’t take more than 10 minutes in the heart, and he was not longer “allowed” to do many of the things he loved. Running outside with me, riding my bike while he jogged next to me, running off leash chasing squirrels at the creek, and being outside for walks in the warmer temperatures. He became a dog that sat on the couch, with very limited activity. It was heartbreaking to watch, and we would tell he was bored & maybe felt he was being punished for some reason. 2 nights ago, the coughing became severe, and I could hear fluid in his lungs. He did lay down and sleep for more than a couple minutes at a time. He would claw at the floor when he would cough trying to get the fluid out, but with no success. I could see his heart beating through his chest & skin, and it looked like it could give out at any moment. After giving him a super-dose of 2 of his medications, my wife & I decided that he wouldn’t live this life anymore, and made the decision. It was the worst few minutes of our lives & I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Hearing his lungs empty, and no sign of life from his body was absolutely heart wrenching. He gave me a look as his body became numb right before the final anesthetic, that seemed to say “dad, what is going on; I’m scared.” And that look on his face will haunt me forever. It’s all I can think about. The first time walking back into our house was terrible, reminders of him every where we looked. It’s only day 2, and we have a long road ahead. We stay focused on the thought that his life was no longer enjoyable to him save those couple hours at night when we’d be home with him. Overnights were agonizing & the toll of all the medications must have been equally as bad on his organs. We have faith that he’s romping around in Heaven, and he knows we did everything we could to keep him with us. I’m wracked with guilt that maybe we did it too soon, maybe he would have pulled through this last episode, does he think we betrayed and “gave up” on him? I hope these thoughts dissuade, but I will think about him everyday & miss him more than he ever could have known. Any thoughts from anyone would be very much appreciated!

  • Ralph

    Ralph

    June 11th, 2018 at 11:09 AM

    Corey, I am very sorry for your loss. I know the anguish and pain you are feeling. We lost our pet very suddenly last year. She was only 3. I can’t believe how much she meant to us and the days were dark for awhile. I would wake up at night swearing I could feel her sleeping next to us only to realize that wasnt true and pain would start all over again. Time. Time is the key. Focus on the great times you had w your dog. Just know as the days pass it will get better. Don’t agonize if you thought u did it too soon. Because if you didn’t she might have been suffering even more. Stay strong. She’s those tears and someday this will pass.

    Take care

  • Donna B

    Donna B

    June 29th, 2018 at 1:58 PM

    I just wanted to share two separate experiences that have occurred within the last 6 months to help those going thru this or trying to make the decision.
    I will begin with my little gal, Trixie. She was a feisty min pin and I got her when she was 6. She had been my almost constant companion. From about August 2017, she started to go downhill. I had never dealt with end of life with a pet before so was not real sure of what to expect. However, I decided to let nature takes it course. Please don’t feel badly at me for this. I thought at the time I was doing what was best for her. It was very painful for me and I am sure it was painful and frightening for her. Death finally took my Trixie at age 13 from me, Dec 30,2017. She spent the entire night before she passed at 11 am crying which broke my heart. If I had it to do over again I would always choose humane euthanasia. And I will tell you why I feel this way.
    My daughter lives with me along with her 2 dogs. Her 15 yr old dachshund Princess started going downhill the last couple of months. Several days ago, she started refusing to eat. Yesterday June 28, instead of having to put her thru what Trixie had gone thru, I chose to take her to the vet and have her euthanized. It was one of the hardest decisions we have ever made, but we knew she was ready. The doctor gave her the medicine to cause her to go to sleep, then once she was asleep, he injected the medication into her vein. Her breathing stopped before he even completed the injection. It was her time and she was gone. But she went peacefully, without pain, barking or crying out, just peace. So despite the fact that we are hurting because she is gone, we know that we gave her the greatest gift of love we could give her, a peaceful passing into the next world.
    In remembrance of Trixie Lynn Feb 10,2005 to Dec 30,2017 and Princess Di Feb 14,2003 to June 28,2018.
    Fly with the angels my girls!! Til we meet again.

  • Keith

    Keith

    July 9th, 2018 at 9:35 AM

    It is just two mornings ago that my wife and I made the heart wrenching decision to let our beautiful boy Sage pass peacefully. He was a Brittany Spaniel and had just turned six. He was the sweetest dog. Never an act of aggression, never growled, loved everyone he met. Sometimes when Sage and I played he would act like a tough guy but really he was just a big coward who would jump into our arms and hide his face when scared. We are approaching retirement age and were unable to have children so he was our son and we did everything we could to enrich his life. He ate the best food, he slept wherever he liked, he was given more love and affection than anything or anyone else in our life and he was so obviously happy and content that it was almost comical. Funny thing is that it was him that gave us so much just by his presence and personality. I suffer from severe anxiety and take medication for it but just cuddling him and talking to him like he was a therapist would virtually bring a wave of calm and relaxation to me. He lived for food and would do just about anything to get us to give him a treat. He could hear the crinkle of a food bag from the other side of the house and would lie on his belly legs stretched out watching me intently the entire time I was in the kitchen cooking. To him the word biscuit and hungry meant any kind of food and it got to the point where we would have to spell it out to avoid him figuring out that there might be a food treat on the way. I can’t put into words how the little guy enriched our life and his passing has left a hole in my heart and a gut wrenching pain that is almost physical.
    I don’t feel guilty for letting him go as he was in such pain that it would have been cruel and selfish to let him go on like that, but I feel profound guilt for not taking him to another vet and anger at the same vet for ignoring our pleas to help alleviate his physical pain.
    Six weeks ago we took him to a new vet that had good internet ratings and had just opened a new practice in our area. We wanted to update his shots and have the vet look at some lumps that had developed just under his skin. While there the vet asked if we would like to do a “wellness” blood test and we agreed. Two days later we got a call from the vet saying Sage was in the third of four phases of kidney disease and he immediately put him on a canine renal food low in protein and phosphorous. Sage absolutely refused to touch the food. We tried everything to entice him to eat it including mixing kidney friendly broths, sauces, fresh fruits and vegetables but still he wouldn’t touch it. If we gave him something kidney friendly that wasn’t mixed with the prescription food he would wolf it down. The vet just kept selling us different brands of food, but none of them worked. We started to notice a twitch in his left rear leg but put it down to nervousness. Sage was losing weight so we said the hell to this he has to eat and we gave him back his own food. He wolfed it down but the twitch in his leg started to get worse. I had to loudly assert to the vet that we wanted the leg x-rayed and another blood test run. The new blood test came back and showed his kidneys to be in perfect condition but now the vet told us he had liver disease. The initial diagnosis of chronic kidney disease turned out to be an acute attack possibly brought on by something he ate and not chronic. When the first blood test came back it should have been redone a few days later to confirm chronic kidney failure and that would have saved Sage a lot of distress. Now the vet decides he is going to aggressively start treating the liver disease and sells us all kinds of expensive meds to fight it. I told the vet that Sages leg was still twitching, that he was now limping and was in obvious pain. It was at this point that he told us that the x-rays had come back from the diagnostics clinic and that there was signs of bone loss in his distal femur most likely caused by bone cancer. The report also said an infection couldn’t be ruled out. It was late in the day on a Friday and we were about to start a long weekend. The vet had decided to cancel his Saturday clinic, he was closed on Sunday and Monday was the holiday. It was a bad weekend for Sage and the non narcotic pain killers were only lasting a few hours so we started double dosing him. Tuesday I got him to the vet first thing in the morning and he berated me for doubling the doses of pain meds and gave me another non narcotic pain killer to add to the mix. He said he wanted to start him on antibiotics to see if the finding of a possible infection was right. I asked why that wasn’t done on the Friday before the long weekend 4 days ago and he mumbled some crap about how it didn’t matter. Before I left I asked what if the pain meds didn’t work and he said then come back and we will give him something else. The new meds put Sage to sleep but only six hours later he was whimpering and crying and biting at his leg. I had to work the next day so my wife phoned the vet first thing in the morning. They first told her the vet was fully booked and couldn’t see Sage but my wife insisted they see him and the vet saw her for less than 5 minutes that afternoon. He said we needed to stop being hysterical and refused to do anything about the pain killers. When I got home I was furious, mainly at their refusal to treat his pain so I contacted another vet. They couldn’t see him the next day but booked him in for Friday morning. By that time the new vet had obtained all of Sage’s records and he said it was most definitely an aggressive bone cancer. Not infection, not his kidneys and working on his liver was senseless at this point. Taking Sage’s pain away was the priority but the bone cancer prognosis was not good because it had likely already spread to other parts of his body. Euthanasia was the kindest thing we could do for Sage so he gave us narcotics for the pain and scheduled the euthanasia for Monday so we could spend a last weekend with him. The narcotics only worked a few hours and Sage was awake and crying like a puppy. First thing Saturday we went back to the vet. He said he could give him fentanyl but he likely wouldn’t be able to go outside to the bathroom and would be so stoned on the drugs that he would be unaware of his surroundings. We weren’t ready but we decided it was time right then to stop his suffering. Sage limped into the special room they had and immediately lay down on the blanket we had brought for him. He was calm and just looked at us with his soulful eyes as to say I am ready. We hugged and cuddled him until the sedative put him to sleep and watched him have his last dream. When healthy he often had dreams where his legs were moving like he was running and he would male little soft barking sounds as if he was running in a meadow. By now even the lady vet was in tears as we got up and left him to pass. In all the horror of the past weeks this was such a beautiful moment that will live with us forever.
    To the vets that dealt with his pain and allowed him to pass in peace I can never thank you enough.
    I feel such pain and anger right now and feel like I can’t go on. The house just seems so empty without him. It isn’t just the quietness it’s the lack of presence you can feel in the air without him. Knowing you did the right thing at the end but not getting a second opinion at the beginning of this ordeal fills me with guilt. Nothing could have saved him but he didn’t need to go through all the other crap he was forced to endure. This is the second dog we have had to put to sleep before they grew old so I know the gut wrenching grief will pass but right now it just hurts so much.
    My heart goes out to all the others that have posted here and I thank you for listening.

  • Amber

    Amber

    July 9th, 2018 at 11:54 AM

    Keith,
    I know how this feels. I still feel the same guilt as well. I think that’s the hardest part…the uncertainty of the ultimate choice. My Abbott was helped to heaven February 21st of this year from complication due to severe diabetic condition and liver failure . He was a very happy goofy and clumsy Australian Shepherd. He missed his 11th birthday by 12 days. It’s been so hard since he left and yes, I know the feeling of the empty air around you. The constant inability to get out of the routine of caring for a pup. The sounds you think you hear from their footsteps or even their cries. I still have not spread Abbotts ashes. I can’t bring myself to do it. I cried for him just Saturday. I don’t know what it is about Saturday that makes me miss him the most. I still expect to see him when I get home from work. It’s hard to deal with. Allow yourself time alone to just cry as hard as you want alone. Immerse yourself in the happy memories of Sage. Allow yourself to hurt and miss him dearly. I try not to go to the memories of his last breath, that stings the most and I can’t handle it. Like you said, you will move on but not now. Be in peace friend.
    Your friend in loss,
    Amber

  • Keith

    Keith

    July 9th, 2018 at 4:51 PM

    Amber
    Thank you for your kind words and sharing with me. I also think I hear sounds that he used to make and find myself doing things that I did when he was alive. When he was alive I would often wake to him sitting there staring at me without a sound. I just knew he was there. Now I wake and it takes a moment for the reality of what has passed to hit me and then the conscious hell starts all over again. Our Sage was a goofball as well. He was the last of eight pups to be born and he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer but that just made him more endearing and lovable.
    My guilt doesn’t come from putting him to sleep but rather for not being a better advocate for a living creature that relied on us for everything. I should have taken him to another vet sooner. The cancer would have still taken him but he could have lived his last few weeks with less pain and confusion. I can still see his big brown eyes looking at me as if to say, help me Dad and I didn’t know how.
    Our last Brittany died at age 9 from a heart defect that even surgery could not correct. That was 8 years ago and we still have his ashes in an urn on an old piano that we pass by everyday. I could never bring myself to spread his ashes. It would be like losing him a second time. So who says you have to spread the ashes? If you can’t bring yourself to spreading Abbott’s ashes then don’t. There are no rules to death and grieving.
    I know one day the hurt will subside and the good thoughts will be the dominant emotion. Until then all I can say for you and myself is remember that it is our humanity that has left us feeling this way and it is our humanity that will accept it when the time is right.
    Your reply means a great deal to me and reminds me that I am not alone in my grief. Thank you.
    Sincerely Keith

  • Thomasine

    Thomasine

    November 9th, 2018 at 6:04 AM

    I am reading these posts because I too fall into the same category as so many of you. I lost my darling boy cat Tulsa three weeks ago to an abdominal tumor. I had planned to euthanize him when things became too difficult for him, but nature took it’s course and he died at home while I was at work; we suspect his tumor may have ruptured his stomach. The very night before he seemed just fine. As so many of you are dealing with guilt because you chose euthanasia, I am dealing with it because I didn’t do it when I could have. In any case, all of this guilt serves no purpose. We loved our pets dearly, tenderly, and we gave them many, many days/weeks/years of happiness and fun and joy as we played with them, sent them to the vet for health concerns, bought them toys, gave them the food they loved and needed, snuggled with them, talked to them all-the-time telling them we loved them, took them on walks (dog-folks), raced the red-dot around the rooms (cat-folks), and often made them the center of our worlds. Guilt is natural, but really out-of-order here. When an animal is heading to an inevitable decline, the time to make the decision to end it’s life on earth, is before the suffering, not after the suffering gets unbearable. That is my opinion. I don’t think any of you that have euthanized your loving pets did so for convenience. If you had the chance to wave a magic wand to make your pet healthier or end your inconvenience, how many would choose to euthanize? You would use that wand to make your pet healthy again. So you did what you did because you believed it was best for your pet, and it was. For all you did for him or her during their lifetime, you are a hero. Feel that and repeat that to yourself like a mantra. In their eyes, you were, and perhaps if their Energy still exists somewhere, and it may very well, you still are. Peace.

  • Kelly P.

    Kelly P.

    November 12th, 2018 at 11:42 AM

    Your email came at a good time. I have been tormented with guilt that I euthanized my labradoodle too soon and perhaps for convenience. It kills me because she saw me to a safe and secure place that was a long journey for both of us. The problem was that after traveling with me through a divorce, renting rooms, etc., she didn’t fit in to this new and secure place. I didn’t want to rehome her because it would break her heart, I took the fall. Because my life was such a struggle I panicked and because she was 12 years old and starting to decline I had her euthanized. I am ashamed and live with this shame and anguish every day. I killed my therapy dog for a man and material things. Your email was comforting to me, thank you. I have received little comfort in this area from people and it intensifies my guilt. I try to focus on the joy and good life I gave her for 12 years. Yes, I agree, I don’t believe in a dog suffering from old age.

  • Amy K

    Amy K

    November 13th, 2018 at 2:02 PM

    Reading many of your comments and feeling very sad as I write. I lost my beagle/bassett hound a few weeks ago to age and severe arthritis. Many times during the day I grieve his loss but I know that he feels no more pain. As loving, responsible pet owners we must make the most difficult decisions for our pets. We know their pain ends and ours as humans continues in many different ways with the loss. I know Warren’s physical pain is now gone and am smiling through my tears as I remember all the love, affection and humor he brought to my life. A poem was sent to me by my vet and friend called “The Rainbow Bridge”. It gives me some comfort now. If you read, I hope it helps even if just a bit.

  • kevin c.

    kevin c.

    November 21st, 2018 at 7:37 AM

    while working on the computer , about 1pm Wednesday afternoon, I heard a soft like crash near the couch, my cat seemed to have fallen and struggled to ge up, she was wobbling as she walked with her back in the air seemed to have hurt herself, hours later she was losing control of her rear legs, as I thought she would get better I took a shower getting ready to go to work at 3am and as she does daily she pushes open the door to the bathroom and lays on the rugg waiting for me. This time when i saw her she was struggling , pulling herself with her front legs, she made it to the rugg and I knew I could not go to work and leave her like this. I took her to the animal er and after 17 years it was seemed to be a clot . I could not afford 2,000 to take care of it and did not even know if they were going to be able to help her. In grief I had to put her to sleep. My friend, my buddy, every day there was a time for everything. As I came home from work I would turn on a light from the car to let her know my arrival, she new I was home and as I entered was greeted and stopped to comb her before anything else. After changing I made dinner for her and I and made a special place mat for her on the couch and we both ate together. I had to give her some of my meal as she looked at her food and then looked at mine on the end table and she got a little of mine every day. She would then wonder in to the next room kind of mild cat meowing asking me to come here as I did no matter what. I just think she did that to get some attention which she got without a doubt and I was their. Every day she wanted me to open the closet door , I have a special little cat cuddly place for her to curl up and napp. Time spent well every day, about 3 hours a day was dedicated to her. Was as cheerful as the day my son brought her over as a kitten. She made my life a little easier and as she passed her love to me for taking good care of her the kindness inside me has gotten stronger every day and I passed it along with a hello to however I ran into. On Wednesday morning , November 21st 2018 about 1:30am I said it was time to take her to er. She was not getting better , her tail hasn’t moved for hours, meow cries got weaker. It was as if she lost all control. After a few hours in the er and speaking with the surgen it was agreed to end the suffering of my loved one. She is in a good place still in heaven waiting for me and I know this is what she wanted and not to suffer any more. 17 Years of companionship is a tough thing to lose. I am having a very hard time dealing with this but am trying to keep my mind on other things but this is very hard. My cat was happy, all the time, every day and so was I. I must move on now but it is hard. I don’t want to do any of the normal things I use to do. I just need time to heal. Bless you sparks for I will miss you and you will forever be in my heart.

  • Ken

    Ken

    December 3rd, 2018 at 1:14 PM

    I say to myself “She’s just a Feral Cat” because that is what anyone would say if I tried to talk to them about about my pain, feelings of loss, grief, sadness and all of the other emotions of losing a cat. I am alone with my grief. My story is about Queenie one of my Outdoor Feral Cats. It was 2008 when I purchased my house and when I puled into the driveway a day or two after the purchase there she was a beautiful white and black statue of a cat sitting at the front door welcoming me to her house. Every day after that she would be waiting for me to come home after work so that I could feed her. Although I built a heated cat house under my porch for her she only used it occasionally as it appeared she had another spot she slept at night. I checked with the previous owner and neighbors nearby who confirmed she was feral and had hung out in this immediate area for many years prior. Like clockwork she would be waiting for me every day for moist canned food. She had a second stop a few houses away for her dry food. Queenie was quite the healthy looking cat and very independent. Our routine lasted 5 years at which time a family of three ferals kittens decided to make this their home too. Little did I know the dynamic would change and Queenie stopped coming by for her food and instead went to her alternate house 2 doors down for her daily food and sun bathing. I suspect now looking back that one of my new ferals did not want Queenie coming around and Queenie was already getting older and was no match for a younger cat. I used to see Queenie periodically when I would visit my neighbors when she would show up for her food. Over the years she had lost about half her body weight but knew there was nothing I could do since she was still eating every day and had an unknown sleeping spot where she would disappear to at night. Last week she showed up at my back steps after 5 years of not being here. I knew right away it was Queenie. She looked up at me with her one open eye and worn out body and slowly came into my back porch. She waited for her food as if she had never been away. I gave her leftover lamb and her favorite moist food. She ate and then went under the back steps and crawled right into the heated cat shelter I had made years earlier. Because it has a small window I was able to keep an eye on her. The next night she ate again plus had a few bites of some tuna fish and went back to bed. Yesterday morning when I checked on here she was very lethargic and not wanting to move out of her bed. She was having brief periods of alertness and i knew this was not good. I did take her to the emergency vet and was told she had a tumor in her mouth. (cancer). That explains the weight loss. After the examination by the vet I was able to pet Queenie for the first time ever. She just layed there with her head up, eyes closed letting me pet her. Queenie was old, tired, sickly, frail, arthritic, blind in one eye, hard of hearing and had the odor of infection. Her passing was peaceful and painless. I am a 61 year old male, stricken with sadness, tears, quilt, anger, and wondering if I could have done more for this old cat I called Queenie. I am truly truly grateful that Queenie chose to come back home to die and that she gave me her last two days. I won’t have to ever wonder what happened to Queenie. I am alone with my grief. I loved that little cat!

  • Jeff C

    Jeff C

    December 3rd, 2018 at 2:21 PM

    Hi everyone. I had to put down Marshal who was a Detroit pound rescue dog got him at 5yrs old and he was my best pal for 10 years and then his buddy Fang died in my living room on a Sunday afternoon, he just had a heart attack I think. Fang was also a rescue pup I had for 14yrs also from detroit. I understand the initial pain of losing such great companions but what surprised me most is that I still feel a huge loss almost like wow, these guys really meant a lot to me. I lost fang a few days ago and I put marshal to sleep a couple years ago. I think our bodies will eventually stop this painful grieving process but right now I just feel a huge pit and all I want to do is hug both of them and take em for walks and camping trips and everything we shared. Miss you so much Marshal and Fang I will never ever forget you.. best friends, best dogs in the world. Jeff C

Leave a Comment

By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org's Terms and Conditions of Use.

* Indicates required field.

 

Advanced Search

Search Our Blog