Spousal Abuse

Spousal Abuse Victim Wife Spousal abuse, also referred to as domestic violence or intimate partner violence, is a behavioral cycle that involves emotional, physical, or sexual violence inflicted on an individual in a domestic context, such as cohabitation or marriage. Anyone can be a victim, regardless of race, gender, age, sexual orientation, or economic background. According to the United States Department of Justice, 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are victims of physical violence by an intimate partner annually.

The consequences of spousal abuse extend beyond perpetrators and victims, affecting their immediate family, friends, and communities. Children witness spousal abuse, neighbors may be pulled into the violence, the abused may withdraw from family and friends, and so on. Spousal abuse goes beyond the walls of any one person’s home.

What Is Spousal Abuse?

Spousal abuse, a more narrowly defined version of domestic violence, entails a variety of mechanisms employed by one partner to control or manipulate the other partner. One partner may be the sole abuser, or in some cases both partners actively abuse each other in one or more ways. Spousal abuse can be physical, sexual, or psychological in nature.

Spousal Abuse Statistics You Should Know

The National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health reports that girls who experienced childhood abuse or exposure to violence were approximately six times more likely to experience physical or sexual abuse in adulthood. In the United States, approximately 10% of adult men and 29% of adult women have experienced serious stalking, rape, and/or physical abuse from an intimate partner at one point in their lives. The financial costs related to domestic violence are estimated to be in excess of $8.3 billion annually, with most of that money going toward medical and mental health care.

Psychological Effects of Spousal Abuse

Violent relationships usually undergo a cycle that can be difficult to recognize, but has clear psychological effects on the abused partner. It often begins with tension, arguments, threats, and anger. These behaviors and emotions escalate in the relationship and are usually followed by a violent incident that can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Afterward, the abuser will often make attempts to apologize, make excuses, or try to reconcile the relationship. There may be a period of calm, and then the cycle repeats itself. This cycle of abuse often worsens over time and can lead the victim to experience:

How Therapy Can Help Spousal Abuse Survivors

The isolation and psychological effects of spousal abuse can be overcome by seeking out the help a qualified mental health professional such as a counselor or therapist. Counseling sessions offer victims a safe and confidential atmosphere to express their feelings, emotions, and experiences.

Seeking the help of a trauma expert can help victims cope with any residual anxiety, and therapists can also help by sharing ways of relieving the stress and pain that may be ongoing. By seeking help, survivors of spousal abuse can learn mechanisms of controlling emotions like anger and fear and begin healing the psychological wounds left by the abuse. Group counseling is another viable option, as connecting with fellow survivors can help in mitigating feelings of isolation.

If you or a loved one is a victim of spousal abuse, please seek the help of a qualified mental health professional. The longer abuse persists, the more it can harm the victim physically and psychologically. There is support available nationally and in your community to help you end the cycle of violence and move past it. Here are resources and tips for those in trouble:

  • If you are hurt or in immediate danger, please call 911 and do what you can to get in a safer situation.
  • Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. It can be reached at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TDD). The national hotline can guide spousal abuse survivors to local shelters in their communities and/or vital services.
  • For local resources, visit this section of WomensHealth.gov to find support in your state.
  • If you are searching online for services or help, clear your browsing history. Monitoring Internet search history is a common tactic of abusers to maintain control over their victims. Firefox, Internet Explorer, and Google Chrome all have options to clear browsing history located in the upper-right corner below the button to close the window.


  1. Domestic violence: statistics & facts. (n.d.). Safe Horizon. Retrieved October 23, 2014, from http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-statistics–facts-52.html
  2. Intimate partner violence and lifetime trauma. (2011). National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health. Retrieved October 24, 2014, from http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Warshaw-IPV-and-Lifetime-Trauma.pdf
  3. Intimate partner violence: consequences. (2013). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved October 21, 2014, from http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/consequences.html
  4. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (n.d.). Domestic violence facts. Retrieved from http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet%28National%29.pdf

Last Updated: 08-26-2015

  • Leave a Comment
  • Crystal


    October 20th, 2019 at 4:12 PM

    I would like more information on spousal abuse. I live in MD. I want to find a very good Therapist to talk to.

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    October 20th, 2019 at 6:58 PM

    Hi, Crystal. Thank you for visiting the GoodTherapy blog and for sharing your comment. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, please feel free to return to our homepage, http://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your postal/zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. If you’re looking for a counselor that practices a specific type of therapy, or who deals with specific concerns, you can make an advanced search by clicking here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html

    Once you enter your information, you’ll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. From this list, you can click to view our members’ full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. Please contact us if you have any questions.

    If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, in danger of hurting yourself or others, feeling suicidal, overwhelmed, or in crisis, it’s very important that you get immediate help! Information about what to do in a crisis is available here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html

  • Lawrence


    November 11th, 2019 at 6:21 AM

    Could I have more info on the overall subject…

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    November 11th, 2019 at 9:15 AM

    Hi, Lawrence. Thank you for sharing your comment. Following some of the links within this article might give you some more information. Keep in mind, you can always search the blog, https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/, by title or content. I hope this is helpful in your search!

    If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, in danger of hurting yourself or others, feeling suicidal, or in crisis, it’s very important that you get immediate help! You can do one of the following immediately:

    • Call your local law enforcement agency (911);

    • Go to the nearest hospital emergency room;

    • Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) (TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY)

    The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can assist people in a wide variety of situations, from immediate suicidal crisis to providing information about mental health. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline also offers Lifeline Crisis Chat for online crisis support at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Some of the reasons to call are listed below:

    • Call to speak with someone who cares;

    • Call if you feel you might be in danger of hurting yourself

    • Call to find referrals to mental health services in your area

    • Call to speak to a crisis worker about someone you’re concerned about

    If you are experiencing domestic violence, or looking for resources or information, you can call your local hotline and/or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) (TTY: 1−800−787−3224) You can also reach an advocate using their private chat services 7:00AM-2:00AM (CST) on http://www.thehotline.org. Some of the reasons to call are listed below:

    • Call if you think you may be experiencing emotional, sexual, or physical abuse

    • Call for resources about safety within an abusive relationship or while trying to leave one

    • Call for resources about safety and recovery after an abusive relationship has ended

    • Call if you are afraid you may be abusing someone and want help changing your behavior

    If you or someone you care about has experienced sexual assault, you can call your local hotline and/or call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1—800—656—HOPE (4673). You can also use the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at http://hotline.RAINN.org for live anonymous chat based support. Some of the reasons to call are listed below:

    • Call to talk through what happened with a nonjudgmental staff member

    • Call for a referral to a local crisis center or health facility

    • Call for resources about recovering from sexual assault

    • Call for information about medical or legal concerns

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