Self-Esteem

Overview of Self-Esteem: A healthy sense of self can make a profound difference in how we feel and function. Self-esteem is our basic sense of worth or value. It is the degree to which we find we respect and like ourselves. Good self-esteem means self-respect, a sense of self-worth, a feeling of basic goodness about oneself. Low self-esteem can mean constant self-doubt and self-criticism, social anxiety and isolation, suppressed anger, loneliness, and even shame.

Our self-esteem develops during childhood, and certain experiences may interfere with its development, for example: being subject to criticism or abuse from parents and caretakers; having early conflicts with peers; being stigmatized for unusual appearance or behaviors, or for one’s race, class, or social identity; missing out on experiences that would foster a sense of confidence and purpose, or not receiving positive reinforcement for our accomplishments; a learning disability or physical impairment.

On the other hand, some people have those experiences and manage to build a good sense of self-esteem. Therapy can help with that process.

Even a well-developed self-esteem can be challenged by sudden life changes or perceived failures, such as losing a job, ending a marriage, having legal or financial troubles, struggling with addiction or mental illness, having children with emotional troubles, medical ailments, and a host of other events that might cause us to question our worth or value. Therapy can help put such events in perspective and support our strengths to increase resilience, social support, and hope.

The Medical Model and Self-Esteem: Diminished self-esteem may be linked to anxiety disorders or depression. Low self-esteem can contribute to anxiety and depression; anxiety and depression can also, like all diagnoses, contribute to lowered self-esteem, due to social stigma about mental illness.

Case Examples of Self-Esteem:

Roger, 42, is having difficulty in many areas of life: work, marriage, and socially. He is irritable and his friends and family are complaining about it. He is sleeping poorly. He recently found his first bald spot. He isn’t making enough money to pay for his younger son’s college tuition. Roger begins to reveal a damaged sense of self-esteem. Through individual and family therapy, Roger regains a sense of his core values – family, honesty, humor, education – and restores a sense of who he is – a competent, honest, loving person.

Jodi, 22, is extremely depressed. She has a sense of herself as worthless. Therapy reveals a tremendous longing for male approval, stemming from a stormy relationship with her father, a loving but irresponsible figure. Jodi’s work in therapy helps her understand her emotions not as a product of her own intrinsic “badness,” but a natural response to a chaotic childhood. She is then able to begin rationally evaluating her own strengths and weaknesses, and to clarify her own values and needs, upon which she constructs a positive, adult sense of self.

Therapy for Self-Esteem: There is a wide range of Psychotherapy Treatment Models or types of therapy used in the treatment of self-esteem. Most of these approaches fall into three historic camps of psychology: Psychoanalytic / Psychodynamic approaches; Behaviorism and; Humanism. Regardless of the type of therapy, there are some generally agreed upon elements of healthy therapy which are universal to all forms of psychotherapy. Before beginning therapy for self-esteem or any other issue, it is helpful to familiarize oneself with these elements.

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