Why Should I See a Therapist? I’m Not Crazy – We Just Can’t Have a Baby!
February 16th, 2010
By Jennifer Harned Adams, Ph.D., Fertility Issues Topic Expert Contributor
Click here to contact Jennifer and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile
When you and your partner decide to start a family, or to have another baby, it is an exciting time….until things don’t go as planned and it takes longer than you expected. You’re feeling stressed out, and it seems that you are at the doctor’s office at least once a week – the last thing you feel like you have time for is to go see a therapist.
While fertility treatment is stressful and time consuming, going to talk with someone about your experience might just make the process feel more manageable. Whether you are just overwhelmed and stressed out, feel like your relationship with your partner is in trouble, or you are struggling with a specific issue, having a safe place to discuss your problems and find effective solutions might be just what the doctor ordered.
Medical research suggests that infertility-specific stress may lead to a physiological response that can disrupt hormonal and immune functioning, and as a result, negatively impact fertility treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms of distress associated with fertility treatment, such as trouble sleeping, eating problems, overwhelming sadness or anxiety, or trouble at work or in your relationships, it might be helpful to talk with someone with experience with fertility treatment. Individual treatment, using mindfulness-based approaches and stress management techniques, can be effective for learning skills to help you cope during this challenging time. Support groups and mind-body programs for infertility can help you learn new skills while also connecting with other women who understand your experience.
A diagnosis of infertility, and all the associated treatments, can try even the most loving relationships. Couples counseling can provide you and your partner a forum for working through your treatment decisions, improving intimacy, and finding ways to reconnect and support each other as you go through the process of getting pregnant with medical assistance.
Maybe you feel like you are coping as well as can be expected, but there is one aspect of the process that is really stressful. Working with a therapist who has experience in fertility issues may help you find tools to manage that specific issue. Many people have a phobia related to needles… and if you are contemplating an intervention which requires injections, this phobia might impact your ability to move forward; exposure therapy won’t make the injections less painful, but it can help you cope with the fear of needles. Perhaps your doctor suggested you make some significant behavioral changes, such as losing or gaining weight or quitting smoking, to help improve your chances of successful treatment. Or maybe it is just getting really hard to deal with friends or family members and learning skills to be more assertive or to control your anger would be helpful. Making changes or learning these skills is something you could potentially do on your own, but having the support of a professional may help you reach your goals and find relief more quickly.
If you’re now convinced that finding a therapist skilled in working with those dealing with infertility is a good idea, you might be wondering how you find someone. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) has created guidelines for the qualifications for infertility counselors. These include that the provider has (a) a graduate degree in a mental health related field, such as psychology, counseling or social work, (b) is licensed to practice, (c) has had training related to the medical and psychological aspects of infertility, (d) has clinical experience in the field, and (e) keeps up-to-date with the field by participating in continuing education. Another good resources for finding a therapist who specializes in this area is Resolve.
©Copyright 2010 by Jennifer Harned Adams, Ph.D., therapist in Denver, CO. All Rights Reserved.
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3 Comments | Click here to leave a comment.
Comments
Any medical condition oir problem stresses people out and not having a baby when you actually want to is especially stressful as the entire family is involved in it. It would be better to see a therapist in such a situation.
I have personally seen some women get so stressed out about not being able to conceive that their doctors have point blank told them that if they do not find a way to reduce their stress levels then there is no way they are going to be able to get pregnant. I know someone who did fertility massage to help reduce those feelings of stress and anxiety, and I do not know if this is what made it happen or not, but after about 6 months of those massages she got pregnant with twins, without further fertility treatmant and is a as happy as can be. It is something to look into if you and your partner are having trouble with conceiving, and may not be the traditional medical norm, but something to try when you feel like everything else has failed you.
I agree with both of you. There are studies out there that demonstrate a relationship between being in therapy and increased success of fertility treatments. Although it isn’t consistently proven in each study, the general consensus is that therapy- whether individual, couples, or group- can help people manage stress, which helps regulate the hormones involved in the fertility process.
Complementary and alternative medicine approaches have been shown to be helpful as well, especially acupuncture. Many cities have at least one or two acupuncturists who are specially trained in fertility-related techniques.
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