My Approach to Helping
After teaching for 10 years and teaching special education for six of those years, the desire to engage on a deeper level with individuals is what drove me to pursue a Masters degree in Counseling. I believe that it is the dynamic in our family of origin and early attachment that lays the foundation for how well we are able to navigate our relationships and our lives. In addition to a psychodynamic approach, I take a structural family systems approach to therapy, and what that means is this: The role we take in the family system and the structure of the family system impacts the way we function in our lives, particularly in relationships. Individuals cannot be understood in isolation from one another, but rather as a part of their family, as the family is an emotional unit. Families are systems of interconnected and interdependent individuals, none of whom can be understood in isolation from the system. The way we are perceived by our family members in the family system is the mirror in which we see ourselves. I believe the mirror in which we see ourselves (our self esteem) is the foundation for how we are in the world, which impacts how we approach relationships and all aspects of our lives.
I take a direct approach and invite you to do the same. The therapistclient relationship is an intimate one, and I believe that in order for an intimate relationship to be successful, it must be real. Thus, while integrating empathy and building trust as I listen to you, I will sometimes challenge you, which can mean hearing things that are hard to hear, and I encourage you to challenge me.
It is my belief that therapists and clients are collaborative partners in the therapeutic process. My objective is to provide services to you that will facilitate you in reaching your goals. I will provide you with my assessment and recommendations in regard to your treatment based upon the information that you provide as well as my observations as a clinician. While psychotherapy does not provide the guarantee of a cure, the level of success achieved during your treatment relies in large part on your commitment to consistently work toward positive change in your life.
More Info About My Practice
Each Relationship Therapy session is tailored to the client(s) and will vary based on individual needs and relationship needs. In the beginning, we will discuss what you are committed to accomplishing through our work together and we will begin to create a plan to achieve your goals. Periodically, I will give you assignments to help direct your progress. We will work together to acknowledge obstacles, explore alternate perspectives and celebrate successes. With the conclusion of each session, we will revisit your goals and evaluate the next steps that are needed to achieve these results.
We will use the first session to develop a framework that provides you with an understanding of how you arrived at where you are now, and to define your short and long terms goals ranging from self compassion and forgiveness to repetition of old patterns in the family system and the impact it has on your relationships. We will use these goals as a foundation to help you determine how to attain your objectives.
I offer sessions in person or on the phone. I am on several insurance panels and accept cash paying clients as well.
My office hours in Tigard are from 2:00-10:00 pm on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
I would love to talk with you today. Call 503.206.5578 to set up an appointment.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
Relationship Therapy: I believe that the key to strong and enduring relationships is the development of a strong sense of self. While the goal for most relationships is to create a sense of emotional intimacy, developing a strong sense of self is a prerequisite to creating emotional connection. Initially, the primary focus in my work with individuals is the individual growth and differentiation of a person in order to increase a strong sense of self. My work with clients then moves toward increasing their capacity to accept and tolerate differences, a process that must occur prior to increasing the emotional bond. The objective of my work is to facilitate the process of knowing yourself, which includes knowing what you need and want. You are responsible for articulating what you need and want to your partner and or others from a direct and non-judgmental perspective that includes self awareness and the desire to know yourself and others you are connected to. I facilitate you, and or other family members in identifying and communicating your needs and wants to each other. Conducive to this process is the ability to experience a reasonable degree of conflict in your relationships and the willingness to believe that your relationships can improve.
Parenting; Families in Transition: Parenting can be the most difficult yet rewarding job you will ever be faced with. It requires a lifetime commitment and an ability to temporarily sacrifice your own needs and wants if in the best interest of your child. That being said, as parents you must also practice self care so that you can be as available as needed in caring for your children. I can provide insight and practical strategies for effective parenting while supporting you on your journey as parents.Transitions in families can be difficult. There are specific stages at which families can anticipate major life transitions: marriage, the birth of a child, entering school, graduation (from elementary to middle school, from middle school to high school, from high school to college), military or something else, and transition into adulthood. These life transitions can make families vulnerable to high levels of stress, which can be taxing on relationships. In addition, I often facilitate and support individuals and adolescents in the process of divorce. When emotions are charged, as they often are during the process of divorce, it can help to have an objective third party facilitate and support that process, especially when children are involved. I can facilitate by supporting you in creating smooth transitions while learning effective coping strategies.
Blending Families: The transition into a blended family is rarely a smooth process. Some children may resist changes and parents can become frustrated when the new family doesn't function like their previous family. While changes to family structure require adjustment time for everyone involved, sometimes four to seven years, blended families can work out their growing pains and live together successfully. I work with adolescents to support a smooth transition into a blended family while maintaining relationships with biological parents.
Adolescents: Drawing on my personal life experience as a parent raising a daughter and a son, my formal training, and on my 10 years of teaching experience as a special educator at the preschool, elementary and middle school levels, I am familiar with the broad range of emotional and behavioral challenges parents often face while raising adolescents. Using a structural family systems approach, I work directly with the parents, adolescents, and the overall dynamic within the family system to facilitate the process of differentiation, which means to maintain a strong sense of self while staying emotionally connected to family members.
Addiction in the Family: Having completed the graduate addictions counseling program at PSU in 2013, I hold a graduate certificate in addictions counseling. I can provide informal assessment for drug and alcohol use and make recommendations for drug and alcohol treatment. In addition to chemical dependency, I work with the co-dependency that often develops among family members, for example, a mother or a partner who has difficulties maintaining a sense of self identity separate from the addict. In addition, I provide support to those in recovery as well as family members.
Spiritual Connection: I use the term 'spiritual connection' in reference to your internal experience as an individual and to finding your purpose and meaning in life. Spiritual connection is a dimension of your overall well being that is sometimes ignored. In my work as a therapist, I include spiritual connection using what I consider to be a holistic approach.
Increasing Self Esteem: You deserve to feel good about yourself. The way you perceive yourself is the foundation for 'how you function in your world'. However, your 'shame core' can keep you 'stuck'. It is very difficult to feel good about yourself when you are under stress, unable to achieve your goals, or when others treat you badly. As you work on building your self-esteem by taking responsibility for your life, you will notice that you feel less shame, that you are enjoying your life more than you did before, and that you are doing more of the things you have always wanted to do. Your level of insight and self understanding will deepen in order to develop your true potential.
Facilitating Self Understanding: There is no greater joy than working with someone as they have that "Aha" moment. As stated before, understanding what makes you tick lays the groundwork to help you make the right decisions for your life. Self understanding, insight, and developing your full potential are the keys to finding and creating the relationships you want, which leads to self respect and respect for others. A lack of self respect and respect for others can prevent you from fulfilling your potential and from developing healthy relationships. In order to understand someone else, you must have an understanding of yourself and what your needs are. The facilitation of self understanding is the path that leads to developing your full potential.
Readiness for Change: Rather than asking, ?Why aren't you motivated??, as a therapist, I ask, ?For what are you motivated?? Instead of focusing on why you don't want to make a particular change, I facilitate exploring what you do want in order to provide a context for change as well as the exploration of obstacles that are preventing you from reaching your goals and true potential. There are often multiple ways to approach a desirable goal; given a choice of strategies to try, you may find one that is acceptable as a starting point.
The Psycho-Social Impact of Hidden Disabilities: Often, when individuals have a 'hidden disability' (e.g. ADHD, ADD, sleep disorders, PTSD, learning disabilities etc.) that cannot been 'seen', others often make unfair assumptions and become judgmental, which can create a high level of shame. This can be a huge obstacle to a healthy self esteem, which prevents you from developing your true potential. I will work with you in the process of meeting yourself where you are while discovering and embracing your ?'authentic self'.
Career Counseling: Our careers should be an extension of who we are. In order to choose the best fit for ourselves in terms of career, we need to have an understanding of who we are, what our skills are, and what our values are. I have received training in facilitating clients in finding the right career path for them through Skills Scan and am certified in Career Driver and Express.
How Psychotherapy Can Help
An Relationship Therapist can take you above and beyond your own personal limitations. More often than not, people try to achieve their greatest potential, but don't even realize what stands in their way. A Relationship Therapist can offer an unbiased and objective perspective, and can help you realize your patterns and habits. Most people experience that they are more efficient when working with a professional therapist and that this provides the opportunity for them to better realize their potential. Relationship therapy can make your relationships more meaningful and will give you support and encouragement along the way.
My View on the Purpose of Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy helps to facilitate you in identifying what keeps you 'stuck' and unable to move forward in your personal relationships. Psychotherapy also facilitates you in achieving your goals through the exploration of your family system and your family of origin patterns that have been passed down from generation to generation. Through the process of psychotherapy, the 'dysfunctional cycle' is broken and healing takes place.
Self understanding is the key to getting what you want from relationships, life, and to achieving a high level of self esteem. A healthy self esteem is the foundation for 'how you are in the world' and deeply impacts the quality of your relationships. I believe psychotherapy facilitates the development self understanding. In doing so, you can take responsibility for achieving happiness and self fulfillment. I believe that all behavior you engage in is an attempt to get your needs met. In addition, I believe that you want to achieve your potential and that often, it is your perception of yourself, often rooted your family of origin, that keeps you 'stuck'.
What I Love about Being a Psychotherapist
There is no greater joy than working with someone as they have that "Aha" moment. As stated before, understanding what makes you tick lays the groundwork to help you make the right decisions for your life. Self understanding, insight, and developing your full potential are the keys to finding and creating the relationships you want, which leads to self respect and respect for others. A lack of self respect and respect for others can prevent you from fulfilling your potential and from developing healthy relationships. In order to understand someone else, you must have an understanding of yourself and what your needs are. The facilitation of self understanding is the path that leads to developing your full potential.
My Role as a Therapist
I am a Licensed Teacher turned Licensed Relationship Therapist who specializes in counseling individuals who are ready to embrace a strong sense of self and clarify their values in order to improve their relationships. This is a process that must occur prior to increasing the emotional bond with others and includes identifying what you want, taking responsibility for articulating what you want and need, taking ownership for your contribution to the problem, and increasing the capacity to accept and tolerate differences.
However, before you can understand someone else, you must know who you are and what you need. Learning how to listen to your gut and having the courage to follow where it leads enables you to get the life you want and deserve, and you deserve to live your best life.
Knowing what makes you tick lays the groundwork to help you achieve your authentic life. Within each person there is passion. Failing to recognize what that passion is and use it denies a key part of who you are. It impacts everything: relationships, partner choices, and how you spend your time. Sometimes you need help learning how to recognize what you know instinctively.
My clients tell me "I get it".
My objective in working with you is to use a direct approach in helping you identify what keeps you stuck in your personal relationships with yourself and or others. Whether it is learning to improve your relationships, increase self understanding, clarify your value system, or put your life into perspective, you have the power to take charge of your life and the quality of the relationships you build.
I can help you get there.
I will hear you, relate to the challenges you face, and will help you move past your obstacles so that you can live the life you are meant to live.
I would love to talk with you today. Please call 503.206.5578 for an appointment.
Kathy Hardie-Williams, M.Ed, MS, DC, LPC, LMFT
9900 SW Greenburg Rd. Suite 205
Tigard, OR 97223
westsidefamilytherapy.org
kathy@westsidefamilytherapy.org
Phone: 503.206.5578
?Fax: 503.935.5884
My Therapy Focus
My theoretical orientation stems from Psychodynamic, Structural Family Therapy, and Family Systems Theory, where the purpose is to help you identify the root causes of the problems that make it challenging for you to permanently solve them, not just temporarily solve them, as well as to learn to tolerate differences in relationships while staying emotionally connected. My goal as a therapist is to facilitate healthy and satisfying relationships, self understanding, spiritual connection, and the process of reaching your full potential. While this can be an extremely challenging task, I am very driven toward facing this challenge as a Relationship Therapist.
What I Usually Need to Know to Help
Rather than asking, "Why aren't you motivated", as a therapist, I ask, "For what are you motivated?" Instead of focusing on why you don't want to make a particular change, I facilitate exploring what you do want in order to provide a context for change as well as the exploration of obstacles that are preventing you from reaching your goals and true potential. There are often multiple ways to approach a desirable goal; given a choice of strategies to try, you may find one that is acceptable as a starting point.
