'I just don't feel good about intimacy and sexuality' As a licensed clinical psychologist on faculty at the Johns Hopkins Medical Center, teaching future doctors about intimacy and sexuality and helping hundreds of individuals and couples heal and grow in their intimacy and sexuality in my private practice. Our culture does not prepare us for sexuality and relationships. We lack adequate education and are not encouraged to talk about our sexual selves. Many people end up conflicted and uncomfortable with their sexuality leading to negative self-esteem and an avoidance of talking about their sexual needs and discomforts with their partner or others close to them.
I see many people struggling to manage the technology we live with. People are spending many hours on devices focusing away from relationships and sometimes are pursuing sexual and erotic activities through the internet which can be in direct conflict with relationships and overall life productivity. I have seen people become 'addicted' or out of control with online activities and end up with significant consequences. Never before has it been easier to connect with people online to form intimate and sexual connections. I have seen increasing rates of casual sex and infidelity in relationships which can create significant pain and relationship distress.
I also see increasing challenges with sexual desire, interest, and functioning. Many people who work with me complain of a lack sexual intimacy and desire in their relationships. Arousal and orgasm can become more challenging. I see many men struggle with performance anxiety and have challenges getting and staying aroused during sexual intimacy. I have also worked with many women who find it difficult to stay sexually focused and aroused and some even struggle with physical discomfort during intercourse and can have challenges reaching orgasm. Some people need help dealing with medical and aging factors that interfere with intimacy and sexuality. I also see that some people have complex and unique sexual interests and arousals and can struggle to come to terms with stigmatized sexual interests like open relationships, same-sex attractions, fetishes, and other unique sexual interests.