How Do I Get Over the Pain Caused in School?
Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist
Please fill out all required fields to submit your message.
Invalid Email Address.
Please confirm that you are human.
BillNovember 11th, 2012 at 5:32 AM
There are often some pains that are simply too deep to get on from. Yes you may find new ways to cope and understand what happened to you, but does that mean that you will never remember the pain inflicted upon you? Of course not. It just means that it gives you something to feel a little stronger about when you can’t necessarily bury it, but that you find that it doesn’t hurt you quite so much anymore.
leannaNovember 11th, 2012 at 11:20 AM
its important for you to first and foremost know the bullying episodes are over and can cause you no harm.yes they exist in the past but ask yourself why you need to ruin your present due to the past?now that you are free of them you should in fact look to move ahead leaving all that behind.do not let their presence in the past hurt your now,your present!
HaynNovember 12th, 2012 at 12:10 AM
Bullying, when it is truly bullying, is a horrible form of abuse. Those who are bullied need immediate help from those in authority. However, I caution our nation against rushing to the aid of someone who isn’t really being bullied. Bullying seems to be the new “thing” and everyone is crying foul. If someone is being a bit unkind, they aren’t necessarily bullying you. Kids do have to learn to stand up for themselves and should be given those tools. If a kids goes through all of those tools and still needs help, it is up to adults to intervene. But, if adults intervene in a situation a child could have handled, the adult is robbing that child of the opportunity to develop some great coping skills that will be useful in adulthood. Again, a true bully needs to be stopped cold in his or her tracks. But, adults need to evaluate the situation before rushing in to fix it.
S EarleNovember 12th, 2012 at 12:12 AM
Hayn, I will have to disagree with you. I am a teacher and if I have a child who says he or she is being bullied, it is my moral obligation to check and see what is going on. What if I dismiss the one kids who is really being bullied and mistakenly think that child can handle the situation on his or her own? I really don’t want that on my hands.
Cale frankNovember 12th, 2012 at 4:09 AM
Can I be honest with you here?
There was a time when I too experienced bullying in school, and no it wasn’t necessarily of the same ilk that many kids are facing today but it was there.
It was demeaning and often made me feel bad about myself, but I had great parents at home who always stressed to me that I was so much better than those bullies were making me feel like I was and somehow with their support that’s how I got through it.
It’s not that it didn’t hurt at the time but I try not to even think about it anymore.
samNovember 12th, 2012 at 7:07 AM
you say you can block past memories easily.maybe that is the problem.if there are wounds,simply blocking them from view does not help.they need to be looked in and treated.maybe you need to revisit all of those painful memories and see how you can move ahead and leave them behind,not carry them with you while still covering them!
ELTONNovember 12th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
Some things can leave a mark on our minds long after they have passed.But it is intriguing to hear that you can block out those memories and yet be affected by them.As the therapist above answering your question says,use this ability of yours as a strength.
Also,please remember that we cannot change the past but we should not let that ruin our gift,our present!
MarkMay 4th, 2013 at 3:27 AM
Bullying is as much an issue today as it was back when I was in school 40 years ago. In fact I don’t know too many people that can not relay an instance where they were bullied during their school years no matter what the age. Talking it through is the best way to treat the pain from this type of mental violation, don’t hide from it or try to forget it, the situation will not get easier to deal with that way. Lay it out on the table, map it, recognize the issues and ask yourself, is anything about this true? Remember everyone is a critique, self empowerment is the only defense against those who try to make themselves feel better at your expense, this makes them small and the fact that they see something special in you that they don’t have makes you the stronger person.
June D.February 5th, 2016 at 9:53 PM
I have a siblings that was bully in High school.I can get them to quit talking about it and told them you have to move on .Why is it so hard for them and how can they over come this problem after 40 years.
LynnFebruary 7th, 2016 at 10:08 AM
When you have been bullied it is a trauma that is hard to forget.
Take care, thanks for asking,
Leave a Comment
By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org's Terms and Conditions of Use.