My Approach to Helping
Sometimes when there is anger, distance and betrayal in a relationship, we may believe, in error, that there is no hope to move beyond and resolve these problems. If we don't know how to reconnect, it's easy to think we can't. That is not always the case because you can learn to talk, to care and to mend again. I help people regain hope and skills, and learn to appreciate the wonder in life and relationships, while accepting what is beyond their control to change. My approach to therapy is client-directed and skills oriented. I spend a great deal of time listening to the needs, processes, and concerns of individuals and couples, and work together with my clients to develop mutually agreed upon goals. I am particularly focused on helping you find the skills you need for daily living, to feel more energized and find greater peace. I often hear clients talk about experiences in therapy with few suggestions or direction. Even worse, some couples tell me they were told to get a divorce; and felt they were hopeless. I will treat your relationship with the serious attention it deserves. I am "marriage-friendly" and support the unique value of committment in relationships. Whether to stay or leave, however, is your relationship decision to make.
More Info About My Practice
If you are looking for a therapist who works actively, will avoid taking sides, will give you suggestions and guidance, help you generate hope and affection again, why not reach out for some direction today? I value your needs and concerns. For over twenty years, I have been providing individual counseling, marriage therapy, couple therapy, family therapy, parent skill training, and group counseling. Let's begin together to create the change you want for a greater connection in your relationship and a deeper meaning in your life. Why not call now, when you feel ready, and take the step!
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
I specialize in working with couples and adult individuals. I treat any array of couple issues including distance and lack of connection, chronic arguing, inability to resolve issues, infidelity and damage to the foundation of trust, explosive fighting patterns and transitions in relationships. I also treat adult individuals, working on issues of self esteem and self confidence, learning to set boundaries, recovering from destructive relationships. working through issues from childhood, recognizing self destructive patterns, and learning to find joy in life. I have been a therapist for 30 years.
My Role as a Therapist
I consider my role as an individual therapist to be quite different than that of a couple therapist. When I treat a couple, I am treating "your relationship" above either of you. It requires me to look less at the needs of only one person in the relationship and look at what will be more helpful for both of you. I strongly believe that requires me to be as neutral as I can and develop as positive a relationship as possible with both individuals in a relationship. My personal and professional experience has led me to believe that most of us do not learn many helpful skills for communicating, and I think it's important for me to teach new skills and practice them with couples in my office, to be a coach, a guide and both console and nudge you into a better place. I have a great deal of success with couples as a result, who leave with new approaches to working out problems as they arise and new perspectives to understand the differences that will inevitably arise from time to time.
Had a Negative Therapy Experience?
My specialty is working with couples. Many therapists find that work challenging and some therapists quite commonly blunder in their work with couples as a result. These are some of the things I've heard from previous experiences in couples therapy.
1) The therapist told them they should get a divorce.
I have never told a client or a couple to get a divorce. This is a complicated issue and always the couple's decision, not mine. I often wonder if client's have heard that because the therapist didn't have the tools or expertise to help that couple, not because the couple was hopeless
1)The therapist sided with my partner or with me
One of the challenges of working with couples is the ability to see things from two points of view and recognize how each person is contributing to the problem. Inability for a therapist to remain balanced in couple work is always problematic.
3)I saw the therapist for a year, and then we started doing couple work with (my) or (hisher) therapist.
I think the problem is inherent in the statement. When you have spent a good amount of time with a therapist, you have developed an alignment with that therapist and your partner is very likely to feel like an outsider if they join in with "your" therapist. I consider myself either the therapist for an individual or for a couple, and don't try to do both.
Couples therapy is a specialty and these are a few of the things that can be problems when a therapist isn't skilled in avoiding these pr