What Does Communication Have to do With a Good Relationship?

Two women at a table having coffeeWhen people say, “We have a great relationship,” what they often mean is how they feel when they talk with one another. They mean, “I feel positive toward that person when we interact. I send and I receive positive vibes with them.”

A great relationship also means good communication in the sense that when differences arise, the partners can talk through their dilemma cooperatively. Differences don’t become barriers—they become opportunities to find win-win understandings and solutions.

Making decisions together in a win-win way requires strong collaborative communication skills. Both partners need to be able to talk in a way that when they say things, their partner wants to listen—and when their partner says things, they want to hear them.

Strong communication skills enable couples not only to have fun and share their love, but also to deal with the difficult issues they inevitably will face as they proceed as partners in the business of living.

© Copyright 2010 by Susan Heitler, PhD. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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  • Mary

    June 3rd, 2010 at 6:03 PM

    Communication is the most important part of any relationship I think. You see,even a baby communicates with his mother when he is feeling hungry or if he’s feeling uneasy. The baby does this by the way of crying and adults do it verbally or otherwise. Whatever the method, communication is very important and without it, we just cannot understand what’;s on the other person’s mind, can we? After all, we are not mind-readers! ;)

  • Jonathan D.

    June 4th, 2010 at 2:43 AM

    It would be better if the title of the article was “What does communication not have to do with a good relationship” ;)

    i say this because no relationship can begin or sustain without proper communication and when I say communication,I mean positive and good communication,not just occasional or negative kind of a communication.If we want to express something we communicate,if we are happy we communicate,if we are sad we communicate.we communicate all the time and it is the basis of any relationship,be it personal or professional.

  • Madeleine

    June 4th, 2010 at 4:45 AM

    What does communication have to do with having a good relationship? Only everything. There is nothing more valuable that a couple can have together than open lines of free and honest communication. That is the only way to work through problems together and to resolve them in a way that will be beneficial for both parties.

  • Travis R.

    June 4th, 2010 at 10:18 AM

    Communication may seem like a great thing and it really is. But it can also cause problems, when it is not of the right type. If there is negative talk, it is bound to create problems rather than help the relationship.

    It is therefore very important to see to it that the quality AND quantity of the communication is the right one! :)

  • Dr. Heitler

    August 11th, 2010 at 7:39 PM

    Thanks so much for your thoughts. Looks like we all agree that the more positive sharing of thoughts and feels, the closer a couple are likely to feel toward each other.

    Sharing fun times, sexual pleasure, and sharing in the business of living by contributing to earning a living and to raising a family similarly build a strong marriage. Keeping all of these forms of sharing going in a positive way however also tends to be dependent on being able to talk together about what is working, what needs changing, what to do about this or that, and what you’ve learned from situations that didn’t go so well.

    Keep the commication flowing in a lovingly respectful way and you are assuring that your love will keep growing!

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