Historically, psychology as a field has heavily focused on the brain–and arguably, the mind as localized above the neckline–as being the way out in terms of psychological freedom. In the past, the field of psychology has overlooked the body and the role of spirituality.

Mind-Body Connection

The mind and intellect have gotten many people far in their lives. As such, people can easily get out of touch with the body and its signals; they may forget the body has a lot of wisdom to offer.

In my work as a clinical psychologist, I see how it helps to blend the mind and body because it gives people more access to themselves. Sometimes with talk therapy, people can feel stifled because the psychospiritual element is missing.

Prior to the 17th century, people understood the mind and body are one, but then French philosopher René Descartes changed things when he popularized the idea the mind and body are distinct from one another.

A way to get back to oneness and engage in therapy in a more holistic way is to use embodiment techniques. As a yoga therapist certified through the International Association of Yoga Therapists (IAYT), I’m a proponent of yoga therapy.

Yoga therapy is not the same as going to a regular yoga class. As a yoga therapist, I work with a person holistically assessing their specific symptoms or conditions, as well as their emotional state of being. Engaging in yoga in such a tailored way can help a person get back in touch with the gestalt of themselves, which is the focus of my work. I aim to address the whole person and help with the integration thereof.

Why get back in touch with the body?

Getting back in touch with the body means hearing your internal “knowing.” Getting back in touch with the body means hearing your internal “knowing.” For instance, knowing what it means on a physical level to be hungry, to be full. It means knowing when you’re angry or sad. Those feelings are important because they are indicators of which direction to go in life and are an avenue into knowing the self.

Feelings translate into making more informed choices, and they enable a person to live the life they want to live rather than the life they “should” live or have fallen into. The inner knowing, which can also be called intuition, will signal whether a person is a good match to be in a relationship with, or if a job is a good fit.

If a person has experienced trauma, it can take a long time to get back to that “knowing” place, but doing so can help a person heal. And it’s possible to do so!

Coming back into the body can also mean a person is in less physical pain or they become aware of what physical pain means. If their neck hurts, maybe someone or something is literally becoming “a pain in the neck.” Awareness of the emotional state that is sometimes behind physical pain empowers a person to do something about the root cause of the pain.

Ways to use the breath

Now that we’ve talked about the benefits of getting in touch with the body, what are some ways to do so? I like breathwork or pranayama, which has the potential to decrease anxiety and help with symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as insomnia, hypervigilance, and irritability or anger outbursts.

Here are three breathing techniques I like to use with my clients:

1. “Noticing your natural breath”

• Breathe in, bring awareness to the breath, and pause slightly at the top.
• Then breathe out.
• Breathe in, filling your lungs fully and then pausing slightly at the top of the breath.
• Then breathe out, exhaling all the way.

2. 4-7-8 breath

This breathing exercise should not be done more than four times consecutively.

• Breathe in quietly through the nose for four seconds.
• Hold the breath for a count of seven seconds.
• Exhale forcefully through the mouth, pursing the lips and making a “whoosh” sound for eight seconds.
• Again, repeat this cycle only four times at a given time

3. Three-part breath

The “three parts” of this breath are the chest, solar plexus, and belly, deep in the bottom of the lungs.

• Isolate each part, breathing first into the chest, then diaphragm, then stomach.
• Especially focus on the belly breath and breathing deepest into the bottom of the lungs to allow the belly to expand out.
• Then exhale all the way allowing the belly to deflate.

Examples of yoga postures

Another way to get back in touch with the body is by using restorative yoga techniques. The modality can be very useful as a complement to depth psychotherapy. I use both in my practice with incredible results.

If you are confident practicing on your own, I suggest gently easing into a restorative practice. When you are still and quiet, there is much space for the thoughts, feelings, and memories to bubble up in the psyche. If you have a trauma history, please be gentle with yourself and do not expect your practice to be further along than it is.

Supported Child’s Pose

I like to introduce my patients, clients, and students into restorative postures and sequences slowly and with purpose. I find that starting with a pose that is helpful for inner child work, reparenting the self, and intervening with symptoms of panic, anxiety, or PTSD is strategic and beneficial. The pose, or asana, is supported child’s pose. The Sanskrit word for this pose is salamba balasana.

An alternative is to use two bolsters placed end to end. If there are complications with your knees, feel free to extend the knees behind you or fold (or roll) a blanket to be placed in between the calf and the hamstring. Set a timer for 3 minutes and then slowly and gently turn your head the other way, keeping it there for another 3 minutes. This pose is one of surrender. In this pose we surrender any judgment and expectation of the self and other.

Supported Heart Opener

A supported heart opener can be a follow up to the supported child’s pose. This type of pose has the potential to be helpful for forgiveness and self-love.

An example of a heart opener is supported bound angle pose, or salamba supta baddha konasana. If there is ever discomfort in any part of the body, please modify as needed. For instance, placing a bolster, rolled up blanket, or pillow underneath a person’s back, allowing their upper body to be elevated, may create discomfort in the lower back. I suggest using a prop lower to the ground (one to two blankets instead of a bolster, for example).

Work up to 10 minutes in this pose. Start out by setting your alarm for 3 minutes and see if you can add a minute on each time you practice. Allow for lots of space for your feelings to arise without judgment and without expectation.

Corpse Pose

Lastly, a posture that’s beneficial for letting go and potentially helping with depression is corpse pose, or supported salamba savasana.

Death is the ultimate act of letting go. It is one we practice each evening as we settle in for a night’s sleep. It is one that can be effortless and full of ease, with practice.

To practice salamba savasana, place a bolster under the back of the knees, a rolled-up blanket under the ankles, and folded blankets under the wrists, and neck. You could also use an eye pillow and a sandbag on the lower belly to deepen the pose. Please let yourself have at least 15 minutes in this pose.

Not everyone wants to come back into their bodies, and that’s fine, they don’t have to. But for people who want to live fuller, richer lives with more connection and authenticity, pairing embodiment techniques with talk therapy can help them flow with that goal.

References:

1. Glock, C., Alfred, R., & Bellah, R. (1976). The new religious consciousness. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press.
2. Damasio, A. R. (2004). Descartes error: Emotion, reason and the human brain. New York: Quill.
3. Walker, J., & Pacik, D. (2017). Controlled Rhythmic Yogic Breathing as Complementary Treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Military Veterans: A Case Series. Medical Acupuncture, 29(4), 232-238. doi:10.1089/acu.2017.1215

In ancient Greece, three doctors would see a patient together. They were the “knife” doctor, the “herb” doctor, and the “word” doctor. The people who “invented” medicine understood there was a connection between the mind and body and practiced accordingly. Our modern-day Western counterparts (surgeons, physicians, and therapists) rarely even speak with one another.

There is increasing evidence the ancient Greeks were right: Our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes can affect our biological functioning, and what we do with our physical bodies can affect our mental state. In fact, until about 300 years ago, most systems of medicine treated the mind and body as a whole. It wasn’t until the 17th century that Western cultures began to see the body and mind as distinct entities. Researchers began revisiting the mind-body connection in the late 20th century, and since then, they have compiled an impressive amount of data that indicates our bodies and minds share a common chemical language and are constantly communicating with each other. In this article, I will introduce just four of the ways research demonstrates this connection between the mind and body.

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Perhaps the most obvious of our examples is the effect of chronic stress, which we often think of as a state of mind, on physical health. Our bodies are designed to handle small doses of mental or emotional stress, and some of it is necessary for us to stay on top of our responsibilities and to remain safe in our environments. But we are not equipped to handle chronic stress without consequences.

Chronic stress can come from things like concern about a loved one’s health or well-being, living in unsafe conditions, money problems, excessive workloads, and so on. The experience of chronic stress causes an increase in heart rate, breathing to quicken, muscles to tighten, and blood pressure to rise. Most symptoms of chronic stress are physical: headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension or pain, sleep problems, chest pain, fatigue, changes in sex drive. Stress also causes an increase in the hormone cortisol, which researchers have linked to serious health issues.

One of the most extreme examples in the literature of how chronic emotional stress can affect the body is informally called “broken heart syndrome.” The experience of stress, due to a failed relationship, grief, or other significantly stressful reason, can cause a part of one’s heart to enlarge and fail to pump as well as usual. This enlargement can lead to temporary but severe heart failure. The New England Journal of Medicine published a study in which hormones such as adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol released in the body due to chronic stress or grief were identified as the culprit for broken heart syndrome. Researchers found treating this kind of heart failure with traditional pharmacology would not be effective, whereas psychotherapy focusing on emotional management might help alleviate the problem.

It is important we recognize the connection between our bodies and minds if we want to feel our best. Therapists could ask people in their care to visit their doctors to check vitamin levels and screen for thyroid or GI issues if dealing with depression and fatigue. Doctors could consider chronic stress as a health hazard and encourage patients to speak with a licensed counselor when appropriate.

Another common example of how the mind can affect the body is the placebo effect. Dr. Lissa Rankin, founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute and author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself, reported “patients in clinical trials who received sugar pills, saline injections, or fake surgeries, but believe they might be getting the new wonder drug or miracle surgery, get better 18% to 80% of the time.” Conversely, other studies showed many medical students report developing symptoms suggestive of the illnesses they are studying. They are worried they are sick or will get sick, and their bodies comply by getting sick. Fear fills our bodies with harmful cortisol and epinephrine, while positive beliefs relax our nervous systems and allow our bodies to heal.

Now let’s switch from how the mind can affect the body’s ability to function properly to a couple of examples of how the body may affect the mind.

Gut health is an emerging field of medicine that seeks to balance healthy bacteria in the gastrointestinal system and improve digestion and nutrient absorption to increase both physical and emotional well-being. Researchers and doctors are finding new connections with the gastrointestinal tract and mental health all the time. There is a network of 100 million neurons that line the gut which is often called the “second brain.” The gut produces 95% of the serotonin, and 50% of the dopamine, found in our bodies. We have already linked these chemicals to well-being and stress management. A disruption or imbalance of these chemicals and the GI microbiota may lead to depression, while balancing the gut bacteria and improving nutrient absorption may have a positive effect on mental health.

Another way the body can influence how we think, feel, and behave is through body position, posture, gestures, and facial expressions. In a study published in the journal Psychological Science in 2010, people who sat or stood in expansive “power” poses for just one minute not only reported feeling more powerful and confident, but also had an increase in testosterone and a decrease in cortisol.

Conclusion

To review, the mind and body communicate in many ways, and most of them seem to have something to do with a shared chemical or hormonal language. Stress can affect health to the level of causing severe heart problems, and beliefs about our health (as illustrated by the placebo effect) can produce positive or negative results in physical well-being. We also know a healthy gut health can improve mental health, and certain postures may lower cortisol and raise testosterone, causing one to feel more powerful and confident.

It is important we recognize the connection between our bodies and minds if we want to feel our best. Therapists could ask people in their care to visit their doctors to check vitamin levels and screen for thyroid or GI issues if dealing with depression and fatigue. Doctors could consider chronic stress as a health hazard and encourage patients to speak with a licensed counselor when appropriate. All of us can do our best to pay attention to how our bodies and minds are communicating about our health and mental states and start acting on what helps us be well.

References:

1. Cuddy, A. J.C., Wilmuth, C. A., & Carney, D. R. The Benefit of Power Posing Before a High-Stakes Social Evaluation. Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 13-027, September 2012.
2. Kleisiaris, C. F., Sfakianakis, C., & Papathanasiou, I. V. (2014). Health care practices in ancient Greece: The Hippocratic ideal. Journal of Medical Ethics and History of Medicine, 7, 6.
3. Rankin, L. (2012). Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House.
4. Templin, C., Ghadri, J., Diekmann, J., et al. (2015, September 3). Clinical Features and Outcomes of Takotsubo (Stress) Cardiomyopathy. New England Journal of Medicine.
5. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2014, October 8). What Is Broken Heart Syndrome? National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute. Retrieved from https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/broken-heart-syndrome

A racing heart and a roiling stomach. Panic attacks, nightmares, or fatigue. The body has myriad ways to manifest the many faces of trauma and fear. And for many people, getting help to cope with the symptoms of emotional distress means going through “talk therapy”—a kind of psychotherapy based on verbally processing thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Now, though, the rapidly growing field of somatic psychotherapy is shifting the paradigm from talking to feeling—and this approach is offering new promise for healing trauma through body-centered techniques, such as Somatic Experiencing.

Somatic Psychotherapy Is Body-Centered Psychotherapy

Somatic psychotherapy—also called body psychotherapy—focuses on the complex and profoundly powerful connections between body and mind and how those connections affect how we process and recover from trauma and other emotional distress. Somatic psychotherapy arises from the premise that, along with thinking about the world and how to respond to it, humans engage with others and the world through sensations, movement, and expression.

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In response to situations and stimuli of all kinds, the body’s core response network, or CRN, is activated. This network, which is made up of the autonomic nervous system, the limbic system, and other regulatory functions, is responsible for organizing and generating an immediate response to challenges presented by a person’s environment, such as the well-known “fight, flight, or freeze” response to stressors and perceived dangers.

In that kind of situation, the CRN signals the body to release a flood of stimulant chemicals, such as adrenaline and cortisol, creating a surge of energy that throws the system temporarily out of balance.

When animals are faced with threats—say, from predators—they experience those responses too. But once the threat has passed, they typically discharge that “survival” energy with movements such as shaking, sighing, or stretching before returning to normal behavior. For them, that kind of event is generally experienced as an isolated incident and causes no lingering symptoms.

But for humans, returning to “normal” after a traumatic experience is not so simple. People who experience sudden or ongoing trauma or other kinds of distressing events typically don’t have ways to clear their systems of the survival, or arousal, energy produced in response to those situations. That energy lingers in the body, and if unresolved, may result in conditions including posttraumatic stress (PTSD), depression, phobias, muscle aches and pains, irritable bowel syndrome and other digestive issues, insomnia, and autoimmune disorders.

Somatic Therapy Is Not “Talk Therapy”

The goal of psychotherapy is to help people resolve issues that trigger emotional and physical distress. With approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy, people seeking help are encouraged to talk about their experiences in order to gain insights into patterns of negative thinking, identify harmful behavior patterns, or learn new ways to cope with triggers for stress. This kind of “talk therapy” might also include activities such as journaling, poetry, and other kinds of writing, and even art and drama therapy.

But these approaches place heavy emphasis on cognitive functioning and verbal expression—and while a person in this kind of therapy might talk about physical symptoms of trauma or distress, engaging the responses of the body itself might play a fairly limited role in the therapeutic process.

Somatic Experiencing Brings Completion

Somatic psychotherapy begins with the body, working to discover how and where trauma is being physically experienced—and finding ways to safely “discharge” the energy related to that trauma.

Somatic psychotherapy begins with the body, working to discover how and where trauma is being physically experienced—and finding ways to safely “discharge” the energy related to that trauma.

While traditional “talk therapy” encourages people to think about traumatic experiences and express their feelings in words, the somatic approach focuses instead on fully feeling the body’s sensations and the emotions that accompany them. People are encouraged to engage with the body’s responses to memories, experiences, and surroundings. Somatic Experiencing, created by Dr. Peter Levine, is one somatic psychotherapy modality.

In recent work published in Frontiers in Psychology, Levine, in collaboration with Somatic Experiencing practitioners Peter Payne and Mardi A. Crane-Godreau, reviews the broad range of applications for this approach and its potential for supporting recovery from trauma caused by combat, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.

Somatic Experiencing employs three core strategies for resolving trauma-related energies:

• Resourcing helps a person experiencing the effects of trauma to create resources for feeling safe and secure while working to resolve the trauma. These might include memories of good times or loved ones or thinking about a valued object or activity. One goal of therapy is to help people discover and build a supply of resources for support.
• Titration exposes a person to small amounts of trauma-related distress at a time in order to build up tolerance and avoid becoming overwhelmed by traumatic memories. In therapy, people pay close attention to the sensations they experience when revisiting a traumatic event and gradually become less affected by them.
• Pendulation, also called “looping,” involves switching between resourcing and titration, allowing a person to move between a state of arousal triggered by a traumatic event and a state of calm. This helps the body to regain homeostasis—a state in which the body’s systems are regulated and working in balance.

Mindful Movement Supports Somatic Therapy

Somatic psychotherapy often incorporates movement to help regulate the autonomic nervous system and bring about a state of “biological completion” in which trapped arousal energy has been resolved and the system is restored to balance. Breathwork and “moving meditations,” such as qigong, yoga, and tai chi, can help to engage the vagus nerve and ease bodily symptoms of trauma, such as muscle pain and headache.

Somatic psychology draws from ancient mind-body practices as well as ongoing research in psychology, biology, and the neurosciences. With the support of new insights into the intimate and profoundly powerful connections between the body and brain, the field of somatic psychotherapy continues to grow, creating more opportunities to help the body heal itself from trauma—one step at a time.

June is National PTSD Awareness Month. For help with trauma and related issues, contact a therapist in your area.

References:

1. Barratt, B. B. (2013, January 10). The emergence of somatic psychology and bodymind therapy. London: Palgrave McMillan.
2. Gold, P. (2014, November 1). Somatic psychology: The complementary nature of qigong and counseling. Retrieved from http://www.portlandtherapycenter.com/blog/somatic-psychotherapy-the-complementary-nature-of-qigong-and-counseling
3. Ogden, P., Pain, C., Kekuni, M., & Fisher, J. Including the body in mainstream psychotherapy for traumatized individuals. Retrieved from https://www.sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org/article%20APA.html
4. Payne, P., Levine, P. A., & Crane-Godreau, M. A. (2015, February 4). Somatic experiencing: Using interoception and proprioception as core elements of trauma therapy. Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved from http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00093/full
5. Payne, P., Levine, P. A., & Crane-Godreau, M. A. (2015, April 14). Corrigendum: Somatic experiencing: Using interoception and proprioception as core elements of trauma therapy. Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved from http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00423/full
6. Somatic Psychology – Body Psychology. Retrieved from http://usabp.org/somatic-psychology-body-psychotherapy/
7. What Is Somatic Psychotherapy? Retrieved from https://www.ciis.edu/academics/graduate-programs/somatic-psychology

We all, at one time or another, use food for soothing. Eating is a pleasurable experience. The problem lies in using food for comfort rather than dealing with our emotions because food only provides a temporary escape only to have emotions resurface again and again. For may people, they are taught from a young age that emotions are not meant to be expressed, but just dealt with on their own and to move on with a brave face. This is, in most cases, not done in malice, but for the sheer fact that we are uncomfortable with emotion. We are uncomfortable with our own emotions and certainly more uncomfortable with that of others. This begins a dangerous cycle, especially if you are trying to manage your weight. When we eat to soothe feelings while trying to lose weight, it begins a cycle of shame, guilt and self-loathing that pushes us further into the emotional abyss. So, let’s HALT the BS!

H- Hungry. If you are hungry, by all means eat. Choosing a balanced meal or snack rather than something high in fat or sugar, will be more satisfying.

A- Angry.   Deal with the anger directly, if at all possible. Otherwise resentment will build and become overwhelming. If it isn’t possible to deal with the anger in a direct or healthy way, find a physical outlet like a walk.

L- Lonely.   Engage in social activities. When we are lonely, some people have the tendency to withdraw, which just makes the loneliness worse. Call someone or get out of the house even if you don’t have anyone to go with you.

T- Tired or Thirsty.

• Tired- Get plenty of sleep on a regular basis. If you are tired and aren’t able to nap, get moving. The more physical activity you have, the more energetic you will feel.

• Thirsty. I add another T here because dehydration often masks itself as hunger. Make sure you are getting plenty of water; yes, plain water every day.

B- Bored. If you are bored, try the distraction technique. Find something, anything to occupy you for 15 minutes and get you away from food. The likelihood that you will still want to eat after 15 minutes greatly diminishes. If at that point, you still want to eat, go ahead, but make it a snack, not a treat.

S- Stressed or Sad.

• Stressed- So often, the stress and anxiety that accompany stress are soothed greatly by food. The problem is, when you stop eating, the stress comes back. Find something soothing to cope with stress that does not involve food like reading, a bath, talking to a friend, etc.
• Sad- I add another S here because this is a big one. It is more difficult to cope with sadness than some of the other emotions. Try any of the other coping skills discussed like spending time with others and engaging in self-nurturing activities. In winter months, make sure you get enough sun exposure. Incorporating exercise and laughter can also be helpful. If the sadness continues, seek out a counselor in your area.

While this can seem like an overwhelming pattern to change, take it one step at a time. Even the smallest changes can add up. Just remember that unless you address each of these issues directly, you will continue the same cycle. The more you practice the new skills, the more successful you will be in changing your patterns. It is about progress, not perfection!

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Mindfulness-based therapy is an approach in which the principles of mindfulness are applied for therapeutic purposes. What does this mean? My previous article discussed basic elements of mindfulness:

• Pause.
• Bring awareness to body, sensations, feelings, and thoughts.
• Connect with the breath.
• Be in the present moment.
• Adopt a nonjudgmental approach: apply compassion.

While working with clients, I developed recognition of two main components that emerge from these elements of mindfulness: I call them the two pillars of mindfulness-based therapy. These two pillars—observation, and the cultivation of compassion, acceptance, and virtues—bring about change in peoples’ perspective, and consequently in
their lives.

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Observation

Observation emerges from the first four elements of mindfulness. It calls us to place attention to the process, to bring awareness to the way that thoughts come and go, appear, develop, and disappear. One is asked to acknowledge patterns of thinking, as well as the expression of emotions in the body, the subtle changes in body sensation, and the movement of the breath in and out of the body.

Even though the content of thoughts is there and recognized, the intention is not to engage with it, cling to it, or feed it. This is similar to the way that, in therapy, the past, traumas, and personal stories are important to acknowledge, but they don’t become the center and focus of the therapy. The focus, rather, is on what is happening now, how feelings express themselves in the body, and what triggers reactivity.

This approach allows release of attachment to “my story,” “my depression,” or “my anxiety.” Observation empowers the client to choose between letting thoughts, emotions, and even real-life events control his or her life, actions, and reactions, or, alternatively, to be more active and present in his or her outer and inner life and choose how to respond to challenges that present themselves at any moment.

Observation calls to bring awareness not just to destructive patterns, but also to positive and pleasurable thoughts, emotions, and events. Here observation allows for the positive to be part of the experience of life. While observing, the emphasis is still on the process and not the content: how does a positive experience feel in the body, how does the feeling change when awareness is brought to it, how do positive thoughts appear and disappear?

The Cultivation of Compassion, Acceptance, and Virtues

The cultivation of compassion, acceptance, and virtues emerges from the last element of mindfulness. This second pillar does call for attention to content. In this case, there is an attempt to focus on and produce positive thoughts. Clients are encouraged to wish themselves well while practicing Loving-Kindness meditation and reciting phrases with positive wishes. They are invited to look at and further develop their virtues, and to focus on the good in their lives even when it is small or hidden.

The more I work with people, the more I realize how much this pillar is crucial for positive change and growth. In this practice, it is not just about observing inner activity, but rather cultivating and expanding that which is already present. Even when one is not aware of having any compassion for their self or of having any virtues, we work together to discover positive elements that do exist and develop ways to integrate compassion, acceptance, and virtues in everyday life. I have a few clients who cannot feel any compassion for themselves, but through their ability to feel compassion for others, like kids and pets, we can work on slowly shifting the flow of kindness from the heart and direct it toward themselves.

Working with these two pillars in mind, I use two opposite powers to help a client reach balance. Observation helps to reduce negativity and unhealthy patterns of reactivity and behaviors, and cultivation of compassion, acceptance, and virtues supplies the positive energy necessary to help one grow. It helps increase positive attitude, self-esteem, trust in self, and healthy activities.

Starting the day with fibromyalgia pain made Vera angry

Fibromyalgia made it hard for 46 year old Vera to get her legs out of bed in the morning. As she moved toward the bathroom and began her toilette, the pangs of pain moved to her hands, head and neck. It brought tears to her eyes. It made her angry to think that Kurt hadn’t even thought of organizing things around the house to make life a little easier for her. Vera remembered the arguments about accompanying her on doctor appointments and got even angrier. But she never said anything to him. She turned her mind to the support group she would attend later that day, although it wasn’t successful in easing her physical discomfort.

Vera found it easier to focus on the fibromyalgia pain than her scary emotions

As she ate breakfast, flashbacks of her early family file flooded Vera’s vision. She relived the tension she used to feel coming home from school wondering if her parents would fight out loud or give each other the cold shoulder. Her mother would take out her frustration on Vera the oldest and quietest of her kids. Her muscles tightened up as she recalled the fear of uncertainty and not knowing how to speak about her worries. It was the same thing now. She didn’t know how to talk about the anxiety of not being able to take care of herself. Vera had no words for the anger at her father for not making her mother happy, and at Kurt for being equally insensitive and uncaring. What she did have was body pain that ranged from dull aches to excruciating pain for which no specific organic cause had been found. Fibromyalgia was the diagnosis. It came with fatigue, slowing down of actions and restricting her life. It was making Vera dependent on pain medication and on a husband who let her down, repeating the cycle of her childhood. (more…)