Finding Your Authentic Self: How to Get to the Truth of Any Matter

Resting chin in hands on side of low footbridge, looking down into koi pond thoughtfullyWhen you’re confused or unsure how to navigate a life situation, I highly recommend taking the time to become more grounded and clear within who you are.

Why?

As you become clearer about who you are and what you stand for, it starts to feel more difficult to act out of alignment with your truth. In other words, as you move into alignment with your true self, you experience discomfort when making decisions that don’t line up with your core essence.

To take this further, as you center into your most truthful self, it becomes harder to live, talk, and act in a way that is inauthentic to you. More internal resistance and uncomfortable feelings may be triggered when you engage in relationships and events that go against your truth. As you grow and evolve, certain people, events, and experiences may no longer be a match—and this will be obvious by how you feel. 

So when you find yourself faced with a situation where there is hesitation or confusion, give yourself the gift of time. Take some space to hunker down, get quiet, and just be. Reconnect to your inner guidance.

The results that come from tuning into YOU can’t be physically seen, and that’s why it can be easy to bypass doing the work—perhaps in therapy. Logically, when you’re confused or in limbo, it’s common to gravitate toward “figuring it out” and coming up with a solution. The reason is simple: it’s uncomfortable to sit or “be” in the gray space of not knowing.

So often, this is the exact space you need to be in for shift and change to happen.

If you have a situation in your life that you’re indecisive about, be it ending a relationship; moving; changing jobs; having a child; or what have you, take a step back and do you. 

As you become more present to yourself and work toward being as transparent as possible, the truth will surface. It will become obvious.

The opposite is also true: If you continue to walk around with blinders on, it will be more difficult to make solid and smart decisions. With blinders on, you will have more noise to sift through. Noise can present itself in the form of drama, relationship complications, stress, or chronic busy-ness. Basically, anything that gets in the way of feeling calm, clear, and taking good care of yourself acts as noise.

When you live and speak your truth, you see what you need to see. For better or for worse. 

When you live and speak your truth, you see what you need to see. For better or for worse.

I often have people come to my therapy office fearful of speaking their truth to others because of “what might happen” if they say what they feel to their boss, their significant other, or someone else. In this scenario, my feedback is always the same: “Whatever life brings because of your courage to truly be yourself and express your truth is exactly what you need to hear, see, or experience.”

When you show up authentically, you see the truth of any situation more clearly. This is a gift, regardless of whether you can see that in the moment. The truth is an important thing to live, reveal, and see in order to make good decisions in your life.

So, go ahead. Live your truth.

And if living your truth seems impossible—or if you’re not even sure what your truth is—therapy can help point you in the right direction. Contact a licensed therapist near you for compassionate guidance.

© Copyright 2017 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Kim Egel, MA, MFT, therapist in Cardiff, California

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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  • Camilla

    Camilla

    June 6th, 2017 at 2:05 PM

    I have often found that even if I am being true to ME there will always be those people who are somehow offended by my decision. Like they are mad at me for choosing a path that is a positive one for me. To them if it does nothing to benefit them, then they feel the effort is pointless. I’m over those days though. It’s past time to live my life for me..

  • Wallace

    Wallace

    June 7th, 2017 at 8:14 AM

    i would also like to add that if you are with someone who feels like they are the ones holding you back, then why do you remain with them?

  • Ebbe

    Ebbe

    June 13th, 2017 at 2:43 AM

    How do I know if it is my true me in this present moment and not my wished or ideal me?

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