Have you heard of something called the KLT factor? It’s a hot topic among marketing types.
KLT stands for know, like, and trust. The power of the KLT factor comes from the fact potential customers like you and me generally want to do business with people and companies we know, like, and trust.
Why? Because knowing, liking, and trusting someone gives you confidence in that person. And that’s where the KLT factor blends into self-esteem.
I’m sitting with a person who wants to have more confidence in herself. As we talk, it becomes clear what the problem is: She wants to develop confidence, but she doesn’t yet have the foundation for it.
She doesn’t have the KLT factor.
No one can have confidence in a self they don’t know, like, or trust. What are they supposed to be confident about?
Remember, confidence flows from within. It can’t be manufactured out of wishes and air. It can’t be manufactured at all. It can only be cultivated.
In order to enjoy the same confidence that companies with the KLT factor have, we must know ourselves, like that person, and trust ourselves like no one else.
Have you been rejecting yourself without realizing it? Maybe you’ve pushed yourself away so many times that you’re a stranger to yourself.
So what are some ways to know yourself better? Pay attention to these things:
- What you like
- How you feel
- What you believe
- What you think
Notice when your opinion is different from others’, and when it’s similar. Notice when you do things you don’t want to do … or don’t do things you’d like to.
To know yourself, you have to pay attention to yourself.
This isn’t the same as being selfish. Selfishness is unthinking, whereas self-knowledge comes from purposeful self-awareness.
Once you know yourself better, you’ll discover qualities you like, and others, well, not so much. No big deal; don’t you know people who have some qualities you don’t care for, but you like them anyway?
Every one of us is a mixed bag. Friends and loved ones have good qualities that win the day, even if they’re not perfect people, and we like them just fine.
The qualities you like about yourself are probably inherent; they came into the world with you, riding on your genes. Kindness, courage, and intelligence fall into this category.
The things most of us don’t like about ourselves, on the other hand, are usually adaptations. They’re behaviors and thought patterns—such as being critical of ourselves and others—we developed long ago in response to our environment.
Since much of what you don’t like about yourself is learned, and much of what you do like is natural, what does that say about you?
Paying closer attention to who you really are, you’ll notice you’re basically good. You try to do the right thing. You feel awful when you foul up.
Healthy self-knowledge and liking yourself will help you show up in new ways. You might start keeping promises or working toward goals. You might make the choice to put yourself first more often, especially if you feel you’ve been too passive at times.
As you make these changes, you’ll begin to trust yourself more. The more you come through for yourself, the more your trust will grow.
Once you know, like, and trust yourself, that KLT factor will give you natural confidence.
You won’t have to worry about trying to cobble together confidence out of wishes and air. You will have built the perfect foundation for a successful, confident you.
© Copyright 2014 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Tina Gilbertson, MA, LPC, Self-Esteem Topic Expert Contributor
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