Helping People Find Therapists & Advocating for Ethical and Healthy Therapy & Marriage Counseling Practices

My Approach to Helping

Cinderella gets a bad rap from people who think she sold out for some Blahniks. Nah. See, I know that after the magic wore off, life around the castle looked pretty much like it does at your house. Cinders and Prince had to learn the same thing you do -- you have to be strong individually in order to make a strong relationship. Each of you is special: intelligent, committed, creative and motivated. Frustrated, angry? Depressed? You're not dysfunctional! You just need to find that "slipper" that's lost in the closet somewhere. I'll help you find it.
My work with you is special: I'm creative and passionate about reassuring couples that they ARE healthier than they may think. I've spent a career polishing an approach that lets both partners "be heard".
Life experience makes me a special teacher. I was married, I am married, I have multiple sclerosis, and I'm 60 years old. I get it.

 

More Info About My Practice

The Ideal Client Couple is "Healthy". If you don't think your relationship is healthy, you may be surprised.

This is not therapy, although you will learn about yourself and your partner. You don't need therapy, you need skills at caring for yourself as well as your partner. You don't need therapy, you need hope. I coach couples who are intelligent, committed, motivated and honest. The presence of emotional symptoms like sadness or depression, arguing, confusion, frustration, etc. can be expected when there are relationship problems. I call these "healthy couples". Those couples not suited for my practice have addiction problems, don't function well in a group situation, have one partner unsure about commitment to the relationship, or where a "last ditch effort" to save the relationship is being made.

 

Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With

I feel very strongly about helping couples whose relationship is impacted by "invisible disability"...cancer, colitis, hearing loss, fibromyalgia are all examples. Basic relationship issues aren't different, they're compounded by disability. I think a therapist needs to know how this reality affects couples in all the major categories; areas like sexuality, finances, children and extended family, social and leisure activities, and much more. So many of my clients tell me how relieved they are because I "get it". Having multiple sclerosis and being in a marital relationship, I sure do!

 

How Psychotherapy Can Help

Coaching is not psychotherapy-lite. It's a combination of all the skills and approaches I bring to my psychotherapy clients except that the focus is not on "sickness". You see, a psychotherapist provides services that are "diagnosable"; in fact, if you're using insurance, there's no way around it -- you have to have a medical label, a diagnosis. What I truly believe is that clients who seek my excellence as a relationship coach are committed to, and believe in having, a relationship that is that much better.

 

My View on the Purpose of Psychotherapy

The purpose is get client couples where they want their relationship to be. I have no agenda; we go where the clients want to go. My coaching utilizes the Client-Directed Outcome-Informed model (CDOI). I monitor results using graphs of client progress to keep both me and my clients focused.

 

What I Love about Being a Psychotherapist

I am totally jazzed when couples get to where they want to be. To see people happy with themselves and each other, holding hands, actually talking to each other. There's no better feeling than to have helped facilitate that and to be witness to their joy!

 

My Role as a Therapist

I see myself as a coach, a facilitator, a kick in the butt, a listener, an educator, a cheerleader, a beacon, a safety net...

 

My Therapy Focus

The focus is always to listen as clients identify the problem clients bring, elicit their desired result(s), then to break that down into identifiable, measurable pieces that then achieves the desired result(s) and thus solves the problem.

 

What I Usually Need to Know to Help

I need to know several things: 1) Is there abuse of any kind in the relationship? 2) Is there addiction in the relationship? 3) Is there significant mental illness in the relationship (schizophrenia, non-responsive depression etc)? Those answering "yes" are best served by someone else. I do require that both partners are committed to the success of the relationship.

 

Important Factors for Choosing a Therapist

The single most important factor in your success with a coach is the relationship developed. Interview a coach before you commit to working with her; an ethical helper will be pleased you are doing this.

 

How My Own Struggles Made Me a Better Therapist

I've been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis for half my life. I've been married twice, with my second marriage now in its 25th year. I had a mother and a father and a sibling, which made for a dramatically troubled life. I get it; chances are I've experienced lots of what you're going through yourselves. I am warm and kind and I have compassion and empathy for what is happening to you but not to the point of jumping into the pit with you. I know that where I belong in this relationship is remaining steadfast and on the outside of your pain -- where you need me to be.

Services I Provide

• Group Therapy
• Coaching
• Online Counseling / Phone Therapy

Ages I Work With

• Adults
• Elders

Languages I Speak

• English

Groups I Work With

Invisble Illness/Disability

Therapy Approaches I Use

• Clean Language, Symbolic Modeling, & Metaphor Therapy
• Client-Directed Outcome-Informed Therapy
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy /REBT
• Existential Psychotherapy
• Family Systems Therapy
• Humanistic Psychology
• Interpersonal Psychotherapy
• Logotherapy
• Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy
• Positive Psychology
• Psychodynamic
• Psychomotor
• Reality Therapy
• Relational Psychotherapy
• Relationship Enhancement Therapy
• Schema Therapy
• Self Psychology
• Systems Theory /Therapy
• Transpersonal Psychotherapy

Concerns & Issues I Help With

• Life Changes
• Health & Body
• Occupational & Academic Issues
• Family Problems
• Anxiety, Fear, & Stress
• Relationships & Marriage
• Social Skills & Problems
• Identity Issues
• Self-Esteem & Confidence
• Sexuality