My Approach to Helping
If I've learned anything in 34 years as a therapist, it's what works and what doesn?t. Excavating the past can be helpful in understanding the present. But it won?t take you very far unless it leads to concrete, measurable change.
When you're really struggling, you need more than a good listener. You need someone who can sort through the details fast, someone who can help you figure out what you really want, what you really need, and how to get it--as quickly as possible.
In our work together, we'll talk about what you really want and figure out what's keeping you from getting it. Once you identify your goals, I'll help you design your own program, and give you concrete, practical tools you can use to break out of patterns that cause sadness, pain or dissatisfaction in your life.
Between sessions, your job will be to work those goals, so you're always making progress--even when I'm not around. Each time we meet, we'll figure out what's working, what's not, and what's next.
You can expect me to:
* Ask direct questions
* Notice what others miss
* Tell you what I really think
* Care about your well-being and your relationships
* Insist you do your homework
* Make each step as easy as possible
Don't expect me to:
* Sit and nod
* Agree with you all the time
* Avoid difficult topics
* Fall for lame excuses
* Work harder than you do
Betsy Sansby is a licensed therapist with 34 years of clinical experience. Her practice includes: therapists, engineers, doctors, lawyers, performing artists, couples and young adults. Betsy has appeared in Redbook Magazine, and has been a featured in The Ladies' Home Journal. She is also the author of Ask Betsy, a popular online advice column.
A special note to those suffering from depression or anxiety:
Betsy is an expert in the treatment of depression and anxiety. In 2011, she completed the Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy Training (MBCT) for Professionals, and is qualified to deliver the MBCT Program, an 8-week program that cuts the relapse rate of depression for people who have suffered three or more episodes.
More Info About My Practice
“Betsy has helped me grow so much over the time I have seen her. From the first session, I knew she was going to be different than other therapists. In our first meeting she said, “Can I be frank with you?” and I thought YES!!”
“My time and money are precious so I’m interested in more than just a conversation. I’m interested in REAL progress. This means some tough work on my part, but Betsy was there to support me and hold me up when I felt like I couldn’t do it. She cared enough to challenge me because she believed I could be more, and she was right.”
“Betsy’s wisdom and no bullsh** approach were refreshing and life changing. While my regular sessions ended years ago (she said I graduated), Betsy is amazing and I will always call her when I need help.” – C.W., Counseling client
"I appreciate how "real" you are, and how you're able to capture the essence of an issue, instead of getting lost in the symptoms or outer layers."
"We got more out of our first session with Betsy than we did in 3 years of counseling with another therapist.
"You didn't turn away, judge, or silence me when things got uncomfortable or difficult."
"Being with Betsy was always like getting a great mental flossing. I always left sessions with more to think about."
"Just a quick update...things are going FABULOUS! It is like I am living with a totally different person...well, the person I fell in love with!! He's back!! Truly amazing...I am grateful to you every day!!"
"My husband and I were talking about you tonight. You did amazing things for us. We've had a great couple of months realizing how much we love each other. Couples like us could put you out of business!"
"After our first session, my husband said 'This is the most hopeful I've felt in ages.' Thanks, Betsy!"
"You are not just helping the two of us, you're helping us give our beautiful girls the gift of a peaceful, happy home that they can feel loved in. I thank you for that! "
"We worked hard, but you gave us the tools. Without them, we could have worked just as hard and gotten nowhere--except maybe divorced."
"Thank you for your intense curiosity, intelligence, humor, and compassion."
"Thank you for all you have done, and all that you do. I believe your work is truly PRICELESS! I hope you know how much it is appreciated."
"Betsy pulled the truth from an ocean of craziness."
"Hi Betsy! Our kids love the OuchKit. So do we all! They come in quite handy here, as we 'Ouch' each other on a regular basis. :)"
Credentials and Experience:
Email and Phone Sessions: I also I offer email and phone sessions for people who travel a lot, live out of state, or have trouble getting to my office. I can usually return calls within a couple of hours.
My Role as a Therapist
We do not heal as well on our own as we do in relationships--in particular, in relationships with people who acknowledge our gifts, accept our faults, and aren't afraid to challenge us to be our highest selves.
What I Say to People Concerned about the Therapy Process
A word to the uninitiated client: Don?t risk having a bad experience when you?re already feeling lousy. Remember: We work for you. A thoughtful therapist will always talk to you for a few minutes on the phone before you schedule an appointment.
If you get a bad feeling on the phone, move on. The right therapist for you is the one you feel good rapport with.
When you make the first call, ask for a call back. I wouldn?t make an appointment with a therapist until I had spoken to her on the phone. You shouldn?t either.
All of the research on what makes the difference between successful vs. unsuccessful therapy (as defined by clients, not therapists) rates rapport, a sense of ?fit? between client and therapist as key to any successful therapy experience.
If you want action, choose a therapist who focuses on taking action. If you want someone who understands your particular kind of situation, look for someone whose profile describes a focus on?and experience working with your situation.
Bottom line: Don?t settle for a so-so therapist. Therapy probably isn?t going to feel like a warmbath. But you should leave each session with things to both think about?and do between sessions?to get you moving in the right direction.