My Approach to Helping
Relationships delight and enhance us. But we get stuck, conversations repeat, frustrations increase, and resolution is nowhere to be found! I help you uncover the desires driving your complaints. That desire then becomes our guide to better ways of complaining and expressing feelings with safety. When we sense that loved ones hear and respond well to our desires, resolution is possible. Conversations open up, frustrations diminish and inner turmoil quiets. Everyone enjoys more of what they want.
We talk one on one or with your partner or family. Like a coach observing from the sidelines, I can see and suggest practices and tools that improve your relationships. What we do together is important but the most important learnings happen outside my office, when you practice with loved ones, when conflicts resolve and your life is more fulfilled.
How does this all work? From the moment we're born, our emotional "love brain" helps us connect with loved ones. It learns to survive our childhood challenges with tools that sometimes don't work well for us as adults. In adult relationships, those early survival strategies may cause problems and conflict but they also let us know where to direct our attention to tune up and retrain our "love brain". Using the latest research from interpersonal neurobiology, I help you and your loved ones relearn better love patterns. I believe in building from the strength you already possess include spirituality if appropriate for you.