Woman comforts her friend, who has been bullied.

Bullying remains a significant challenge affecting people across all age groups and settings. Whether occurring in schools, workplaces, homes, or online, bullying can have profound and lasting impacts on mental health and well-being. This comprehensive guide explores the nature of bullying, its effects, and most importantly, how to find help and support.

Research shows that approximately one-third of U.S. teenagers report being bullied in the past year, with 19% of high schoolers experiencing bullying on school property and 16% experiencing electronic bullying in 2023. These statistics underscore the urgent need for effective support systems and interventions.

Table of Contents

  • What Is Bullying?
  • Types of Bullying
  • Who Is at Risk?
  • Mental Health Impact
  • Therapy and Support for Victims
  • Help for Those Who Bully
  • Practical Strategies for Victims
  • The Role of Bystanders
  • Prevention and Intervention
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • How Therapy Can Help

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is defined as any unwanted aggressive behavior by another youth or group of youths, who are not siblings or current dating partners, that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. This behavior can inflict physical, psychological, social, or educational harm on the victim.

The key elements that distinguish bullying from other conflicts include:

  • Intentionality: The behavior is deliberate and meant to cause harm
  • Repetition: The behavior occurs repeatedly over time
  • Power imbalance: The person bullying has more physical, social, or psychological power than the victim

Types of Bullying

Bullying can manifest in various forms, each with its own characteristics and impacts:

Physical Bullying

  • Hitting, kicking, pushing, or tripping
  • Taking or damaging someone's belongings
  • Any form of unwanted physical contact

Verbal Bullying

  • Name-calling, teasing, or taunting
  • Making threats
  • Inappropriate sexual comments
  • Verbal bullying is the most frequently reported form

Relational/Social Bullying

  • Spreading rumors or gossip
  • Deliberately excluding someone from a group
  • Public embarrassment or humiliation
  • Relational bullying has the greatest effect on student academic motivation

Cyberbullying

  • Harassment through social media, text messages, or online platforms
  • Sharing embarrassing photos or videos without consent
  • Creating fake profiles to mock or impersonate someone
  • 37% of middle schools report cyberbullying incidents at least once a week

Who Is at Risk?

While anyone can experience bullying, certain groups face disproportionately higher rates:

Age-Related Risk

  • Younger teens (ages 12-14) face higher bullying rates (38.4%) compared to older teens (29.7%)
  • Bullying happens most often in classrooms (39%) and hallways (37.5%)

Gender Differences

  • Girls report higher rates of bullying than boys
  • Girls report higher rates than boys in both school and cyberbullying settings

LGBTQ+ Youth

  • LGBTQ+ students were more likely than cisgender and heterosexual students to be bullied at school (29% vs 16%)
  • Nearly three in 10 LGBTQ+ students were bullied at school, and two in 10 attempted suicide

Students with Disabilities

  • Teenagers with a developmental disability (44.4%) were more likely to be bullied than teenagers without a developmental disability (31.3%)

Racial and Ethnic Differences

  • White teenagers are more likely to be bullied (39.6%) compared with Asian (16.1%), Black (23.8%), and Hispanic (26.7%) teenagers

Mental Health Impact

The psychological effects of bullying can be severe and long-lasting:

Immediate Effects

  • Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and suicidal ideation are signs of bullying's traumatic effect
  • Bullying leads to severe psychological distress, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation among victims
  • Difficulty sleeping and physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches
  • Academic problems and school avoidance

Long-Term Consequences

  • Bullying lingers well into adulthood, with bullies and victims alike at risk for psychiatric problems such as anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and suicide
  • Compared to those who went through childhood unscathed, victims had four times the prevalence of agoraphobia, generalized anxiety, and panic disorder when they became adults
  • Individuals who experience victimization both at school and at home represent a particularly vulnerable group

Bully-Victims: A High-Risk Group

Bully-victims fared the worst, with 14 times the risk of panic disorder, 5 times the risk of depressive disorders, and 10 times the risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior.

Therapy and Support for Victims

Professional therapy provides a safe, supportive environment for victims of bullying to process their experiences and develop coping strategies.

Individual Therapy Approaches

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

  • Helps identify and change negative thought patterns resulting from bullying
  • Teaches practical coping skills for managing anxiety and depression
  • Builds resilience and self-esteem
  • Addresses trauma-related symptoms

Trauma-Informed Therapy

  • Recognizes that bullying can be a traumatic experience
  • Focuses on creating safety and rebuilding trust
  • Helps process difficult emotions and memories
  • Anti-bullying therapies minimize symptoms of trauma in adolescent victims

Assertiveness Training

  • Teaches effective communication skills
  • Helps set healthy boundaries
  • Builds confidence in social situations
  • Develops skills to respond to bullying behavior

Group Therapy and Support Groups

  • Provides peer support from others with similar experiences
  • Reduces feelings of isolation and shame
  • Offers opportunities to practice social skills
  • Creates a sense of community and belonging

School-Based Support

  • School counselors can provide regular check-ins and support
  • Schools with higher levels of engagement and safety are more likely to have upstander behavior—bystanders who intervene when they observe bullying
  • Collaboration between parents, schools, and mental health professionals is essential

Help for Those Who Bully

People who engage in bullying behavior also benefit from therapeutic intervention:

Understanding the Behavior

  • Exploring underlying causes such as family dynamics, trauma, or social pressures
  • Bullies had four times the risk of developing antisocial personality disorder
  • Addressing unresolved emotional wounds or identity issues

Therapeutic Interventions

  • Empathy Development: Learning to understand the impact of their behavior on others
  • Anger Management: Developing healthy ways to express and manage emotions
  • Social Skills Training: Learning positive communication and relationship skills
  • Family Therapy: Addressing family dynamics that may contribute to bullying behavior

Practical Strategies for Victims

While professional help is important, there are immediate strategies victims can use:

Safety First

  • If physical safety is threatened, leave the situation immediately
  • Tell a trusted adult about what's happening
  • Document incidents of bullying (dates, times, witnesses, what happened)

For Cyberbullying

  • Don't respond to online attacks
  • Take screenshots of harassing messages as evidence
  • Block the person on social media platforms
  • Report the behavior to the platform administrators

Building Resilience

  • Stay connected with supportive friends and family
  • Engage in activities that build self-esteem
  • Practice self-care and stress management techniques
  • Remember that the bullying is not your fault

Workplace Bullying

  • Document all incidents thoroughly
  • Contact human resources or a trusted supervisor
  • Know your organization's anti-bullying policies
  • Consider seeking legal advice if necessary

The Role of Bystanders

A bystander who witnesses bullying can make a positive impact by becoming an upstander—someone who sees what happens and intervenes, interrupts, or speaks up to stop the bullying.

How to Be an Upstander

  • Direct Intervention: If safe, speak up against the bullying
  • Distraction: Create a diversion to interrupt the situation
  • Delegation: Get help from an authority figure
  • Delayed Support: Check in with the victim afterward
  • Programs to increase upstander behavior can positively impact peer relationships and well-being in schools

Prevention and Intervention

Evidence-Based Programs

Recent research shows that comprehensive anti-bullying programs can be effective:

  • School-based anti-bullying programs effectively reduce bullying perpetration outcomes by about 18%
  • School-based interventions are effective when they emphasize relationship-building, empathy, and holistic involvement of all school stakeholders
  • Programs like KiVa and Bullying&You have shown promising results in reducing bullying incidents

Key Components of Effective Programs

  • Whole-school approach involving students, staff, and parents
  • Clear policies and consistent enforcement
  • Social-emotional learning curriculum
  • Peer support systems
  • Regular monitoring and evaluation

Creating Supportive Environments

  • Foster positive school or workplace climates
  • Promote inclusivity and respect for diversity
  • Address power imbalances and social hierarchies
  • Encourage reporting and provide clear response protocols

Frequently Asked Questions

How common is bullying among young people?

Approximately 25% of children and adolescents are bullying victims, while 16% are perpetrators and 16% are bully-victims. The prevalence varies by age, with younger teens experiencing higher rates than older teens.

What's the difference between bullying and normal conflict?

Bullying involves a power imbalance, repetition, and intent to harm. Normal conflicts typically occur between peers of equal power and are isolated incidents that can be resolved through communication. Bullying requires intervention because the power imbalance prevents fair resolution.

How does cyberbullying differ from traditional bullying?

While both forms cause significant harm, cyberbullying can follow victims 24/7, reach a wider audience instantly, and create permanent digital records. Among students who reported being bullied at school, 21.6% were also bullied online or by text.

When should someone seek professional help for bullying?

Professional help should be sought when bullying causes persistent emotional distress, interferes with daily activities, leads to school or work avoidance, triggers physical symptoms, or results in thoughts of self-harm. Early intervention can prevent long-term psychological effects.

Can adults experience bullying too?

Yes, bullying occurs in workplaces and adult relationships. It often manifests as persistent criticism, exclusion, sabotage, or abuse of power. Adult victims can experience similar mental health impacts and benefit from therapy and workplace interventions.

What role do parents play in addressing bullying?

Parents should maintain open communication with their children, watch for warning signs, advocate with schools when necessary, provide emotional support, and seek professional help when needed. Teaching children about healthy relationships and self-advocacy is also crucial.

How Therapy Can Help

If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, professional support can make a significant difference. A trained therapist can help:

  • Process difficult emotions and traumatic experiences
  • Develop effective coping strategies
  • Build self-esteem and resilience
  • Learn assertiveness and boundary-setting skills
  • Address anxiety, depression, or other mental health impacts
  • Create a safety plan for ongoing situations
  • Work with families and schools for comprehensive support

Finding the right therapist is an important step in healing from bullying. Look for professionals with experience in:

  • Trauma-informed care
  • Child and adolescent therapy (for younger victims)
  • Workplace dynamics (for adult bullying)
  • LGBTQ+-affirming practices (when relevant)
  • Evidence-based treatments for anxiety and depression

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. With proper support, victims of bullying can heal, develop resilience, and thrive.

Find a Therapist

Bullying can have serious and lasting effects on mental health, but recovery is possible with the right support. If you're experiencing bullying or struggling with its aftereffects, consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional.

Find a therapist near you who specializes in bullying, trauma, or related concerns. Our directory includes thousands of licensed therapists who can provide the support you need to heal and move forward.

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