Ready, Steady, Play!
November 11th, 2008
A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Sarah Jenkins, MC, LPC
Click here to contact Sarah and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile
“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” - C.S. Lewis
After my childhood, then teenage years, my musings and passion for creative writing “grew up,” succumbing to the norms that college and graduate school required. My journals, having unceremoniously insisted that they be my comfort and companion through every experience, were buried under my “adult” responsibilities.
I meant to write and I was inspired to. Nevertheless, I rarely did. My muses stood by, impatiently, in the unemployment line, eagerly waiting for the next job. Mostly, they waited for me to find the “right” time to pit pen to paper. Granted, words would often materialize, unexpectedly, as if apparitions out of thin air. Joyous and full of energy, they eagerly sprung into step, as if dancing around a maypole, circling me in celebration of me joining them. But, there were many times that I consciously ignored them. At least they trusted that I would return to play with them. I did, albeit twelve years later.
As we “grow up” the playful and creative activities we once loved are often the first to be tossed overboard if the ship goes down. Yet, is in the act of playing that you can find what your spirit hungers for. The most playful, creative, inspiring and “childish” activities can offer a life preserver, to carry us from all of those “have to’s.” They ask that we remember what it feels like to have fun and color outside the lines of expectation and judgment.
Writing is good for me; it feeds me. At the same time, perhaps like you, there are so many other things to juggle. This phone call. That person. That deadline. This meeting. You name it; there is always “something” that has to be done. Nevertheless, we should also allow ourselves to do what is playful and nurturing; we need it to find balance in our lives. At the same time, some activities are just good for us, period. Kind of like broccoli, you know? You don’t ask “why,” you just know it is.
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw
Play doesn’t need you to find a reason for doing it and actually prefers that you don’t. Play doesn’t want you to “schedule” it in your planner. Play just asks that you open yourself to spontaneous experiences, change your patterns, and seek it out. Allow into your life those experiences that dare you to “get out of your head,” to get back in touch with your body, creativity, and spirit. In other words, shift out of your left brain, and allow your right brain to have some good clean fun.
When I talk with my adult clients about allowing play into their lives, they often reply that they can’t do it. This is often the case, because many never learned how, or felt save enough to play. Perhaps you understand their struggle. Maybe you had to become “a little adult” in your childhood years. If that is the case, please know that play is just as important now, as it was back then. Perhaps you can just try one of these suggestions. Hey, go for broke; try them all!
Here are some of the “playful” suggestions that I offer clients.
•Play Twister with a friend, or loved one.
•Create a collage, painting, or drawing. Stop judging it, please.
•On your way to work, look for a park. Go swing. Yes, before you clock in.
•Read your favorite bedtime story before you go to bed.
•Buy a coloring book. Color in the boldest, most daring colors you can find. Dare to draw outside the lines.
•If you have a child, or children in your life, ask them what how you should play.
•Get a deck of cards. Build the tallest card castle. Break it down, then build it again.
•Think of any nurturing activity that you love doing, and haven’t. Do it, just for today. Try it again.
Personally, my lesson about play was that creative writing needs me as much as I need it; it is my nourishing form of play, one that I had cast aside for too long. Maybe your form of play is waiting for you. Granted, my gut quivered in anticipation when I started to write again, as if a spirited racehorse readying for the gun to fire, anxious to defy the gates that contained it. Nevertheless, when I allowed my imagination to run free, I could no longer write just when I “had to.” I remembered that I could write just because I wanted to play, period. That was, and is, reason enough.
©Copyright 2008 by Sarah Jenkins, MC, LPC. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry.
Click here to contact Sarah and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile
22 comments so far
I totally understand this. I am 38 yrs old and love to find time to be playful. I have the most fun and laugh the most when I am acting silly! It truly is great for the soul
i think we should all have fun in our lives. There is always time to play, even for 10 minutes. I love to read and organize and to me this is very relaxing
Having a child has forced me to be young and play again, and I like it! You are so right- as we grow older and more “mature” we tend to push to the side the things that once made us happy. We forgo what were once thought of as childhood dreams to do something more responsible, earn more money. Having a child has brought me back to earth. It has allowed me to reexamine life, figure what was then and still is important to me, and forced me to relax and enjoy all that I have. The highlight of my day now revolves aroung playing with her, reading, cuddling, not managing a huge deal. I hope that more readers will take this article as a challenge to do something fun, get back to your roots, and live and play a little today!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I believe this holds true for Jack or Jane even when they grow older and wiser. The key to reversing age is not anti aging creams but laughter and letting your hair down. I totally agree with Madeleine. I traded in a busy workday to being a stay at home mom. I did go through a lot of post partum blues but 4 years later, I am still a full time mom and I believe this job has a lot huge dollops of fun thrown in through the day!!
You are so right Madeleine. We get so hung up in making a living, stressing over our jobs, etc. We follow the rules that we now are adults so we must act like one. You can be an adult, but you can also play and have fun. I think acting and playing like a child is one of the best stress relievers there is.
I love reliving my childhood and taking time out to play. I have a 4 year old and it does make you stop and enjoy the moment. I think everyone should take time out and just think like a child once and have fun.
This is one of the best advice pieces I have seen in a long time. It is hard to put away the things that have to be done in order to engage in some relax and play time but it has to be done for our own well being.
All of us have loads of things to do every minute of our lives. When we prioritise time for pleasure and play it only means we are learning to compartmentalise things a little better. Reading a joke or just doing your nails can do wonders to your mood!!
I guess I have a little bit of a dissenting point of view. I work with college students who seem hell bent on making every moment of their day play time, and I try to stress to them that this is not the reality of what living and working in America is about these days. Sometimes i feel that too many people play a little too much and forfeit the real responsibilities in life. Play is good, yes, to a point, but there are other things that must be accomplished too and I feel that a belief in the responsibilities and hard work that it takes to live and live well is somehting that is severely lacking in upcoming generations of workers and adults in general.
My play time does not necessarily involve playing with Barbies with the girls, but for me it is my exercise time. This is what gives me the chance to release my built up tension and anxiety and helps keep me going for the rest of the day.
We all need play in our lives, but I agree with Grayson, there is a time to play and a time to work. I can understand your frustration Grayson when it comes to teaching and you have adults who want to play around all the time. I believe this college kids need to realize they have all the time they need to play afterwards.
I missed out on a lot with my own kids because of my insistence that play was for kids, not aduts. I will not make the same mistakes with my grandchildren.
I agree with Grayson about people playing a lil too much. My son is 35 and has finally finished college. He was the type to not take anything seriously in life. Having frittered away his best years he now realises that better late than never. There is a bad side to taking responsibilities too lightly as well.
I am so happy that so many of you have responded to this article. To me, the concept of play that I addressed also implies a life of balance. Yes, it is necessary for us to be able to be present in the world and “show up” for what life asks to show up for. Playing in a healthy way is about allowing ourselves the time to play and enjoy the wonders of life, yet also being grounded. Balance means that there is not too much focus on only play, nor too much focus on only work, for otherwise we forget to live.
Pardon the pessimism but how can anyone even consider playing at this time? There are too many people simply trying to hold onto their jobs to give too much time over for play. This is a time when we all need to buckle down and work harder than ever before.
As the username implies I am always running from here to there and rarely take the time to stop and appreciate all of the goodness all around me. This article has inspired me to do a little better in that regard. No promises but I really am going to try to do better to realx and enjoy all that life has to offer!
I honestly feel that a lifetime of hard work and struggle has left me with no memory of how to play anymore. Isn’t that sad? I have the hardest time relaxing because I am always too busy thinking of the million other things that I need to be doing right at that moment.
Painting is my escape. Whenever I feel that I need to get away I get out my paints and canvases and let the energy flow. Now mind you I am no artist of the highest standards- I have taken a few classes here and there but nothing hanging in a gallery. . . yet. :-) But it does provide a release for me that nothing else can. My own little personal form of art therapy if you will. I wish that more people could find something like I have with art that would allow them to get more meaning and fulfillment from life. This has not always been a part of me but now that it is I would have a difficult time if I did not have this medium for my release.
My four year old son keeps me young and I like it!
Writing helps me get pent up feelings, ecstacy, disappointment and plain boredom out of my system.
My husband, kids and I unwind during weekends over board games. I think it’s been a consistent solution to stress busting, catching up as a family and doing something other than watching tv or playing video games.
I love to take my daughter to the park. I like that she is getting the fresh outdoor air and that there are enough things there to keep both of us busy having fun and burning some energy. A play date like this is a great date for me.