Identifying Patterns and How They Impact You

Patterns are repetitive behaviours, thoughts, or emotional reactions that develop over time and are often connected to underlying beliefs. Whether we realize it or not, patterns shape the way we respond to situations, interact with others, and see ourselves. The more we repeat a behaviour or thought process, the more our brain accepts it as normal or true.

How Patterns Work

For example, someone may believe that every time they walk a certain route home, they always trip over the same uneven piece of sidewalk. Instead of changing their route or paying closer attention, they continue to walk the same way and expect the same outcome. Over time, the belief becomes reinforced: "I always fall there." This is how patterns work. They repeat themselves until we become aware enough to interrupt them.

Positive and Negative Patterns

Not all patterns are negative. Some patterns can improve our quality of life and support our well-being. Regular exercise, maintaining healthy relationships, practicing self-care, or connecting with loved ones are all positive patterns that can increase happiness and emotional stability. However, many patterns can also become limiting or destructive.

Even when these patterns create stress or unhappiness, people often continue repeating them because they are deeply rooted and largely unconscious.

Where Patterns Begin

Many of our patterns begin in childhood. The way we were raised, the experiences we had, and the messages we received from parents, society, and the media all contribute to how we see ourselves and how we behave. From a young age, we begin forming beliefs about our worth, safety, acceptance, and success. These beliefs can follow us into adulthood and influence our decisions without us fully realizing it.

A Personal Pattern Example

I recently became more aware of one of my own recurring patterns with the help of my partner. Sometimes the people closest to us can recognize behaviours that we cannot easily see ourselves. My pattern involves rushing around at the last minute before leaving the house. Looking back, I realize I have done this for years.

Before going somewhere, I often start multiple unnecessary tasks that suddenly feel urgent. I might begin doing dishes, vacuuming, or starting laundry even though I know I do not really have enough time. The result is always the same: I feel stressed, rushed, and overwhelmed.

At first, I thought I simply struggled with time management. However, after reflecting more deeply, I realized there was a belief underneath the behaviour. I had developed a fear of being judged if my house was not perfectly clean. Once I became aware of this belief, I started to better understand why I kept repeating the same stressful pattern.

Awareness Creates Choice

Awareness has allowed me to begin making different choices. Instead of automatically reacting to the anxiety I feel, I can pause and ask myself what is truly important in the moment. I still struggle with this pattern sometimes but recognizing it has helped me approach it with more intention and self-awareness.

Even while writing this, I can relate to the challenge of balancing priorities. My workspace may not be perfectly organized, I may want more time to exercise, and there are always other tasks competing for attention. However, understanding my patterns helps me decide what truly matters instead of reacting automatically out of stress or fear.

Patterns are deeply rooted and changing them takes time. The first step is becoming aware of what is no longer working in your life. Once we identify the behaviours and beliefs that keep repeating, we can begin making conscious choices that support healthier habits and healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

Awareness creates choice. When we understand our patterns, we are no longer stuck repeating them automatically. Instead, we gain the ability to create new patterns that better align with the life we want to live.

About the Author Bobbie Cochrane, MC, RSW, CCP Registered Social Worker in Airdrie, Alberta Bobbie Cochrane, MC, RSW, CCP supports people navigating trauma, anxiety, depression, grief, life transitions, and stress management. Her work emphasizes a compassionate, goal-focused process that helps people move forward while making sense of the experiences that shaped them. Her approach may include EMDR, mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnosis, and self-awareness practices. In this article, she reflects on how recognizing repeated thoughts, feelings, and actions can help people approach change with more intention and choice. View Bobbie Cochrane’s GoodTherapy Profile >