Comments on: Neglect

By: Jerrica

Jerrica — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 10:33:54 +0000

I’m sure there are many reasons why there are silent types. Some may not want to be judged because they may think their stupid, hence neglect from their childhood, some may had some bad experiences in their past. I can see why many of these adults are “quiet types” and if we can just try to understand where this stems from, maybe they can open up to a select few of people they trust.

By: Jules

Jules — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 10:18:37 +0000

I hate to see anyone neglected, young or adult. It’s no wonder that children seek attention elsewhere, whether it be positive or negative, just to get what they had been deprived of. We really need to show our children (and our loved ones) the love they deserve.

By: Nattalie

Nattalie — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 18:47:48 +0000

I do believe that the way you were treated or neglected as a child runs into your adult life when you get older. Consciously or unconsciously, it does impact on how we bring up our kids.

By: Annie

Annie — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 10:51:45 +0000

To Nadine.. I don’t think you are really neglecting your son. He is happy doing what he is doing it sounds like. I would want my child to be happy doing what he likes instead of forcing him to do something he doesn’t. You can always spend time together whether going out to eat, renting a movie he likes and you all watch it together, etc..

By: Darlene

Darlene — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:21:49 +0000

Thanks for that information, Dennis. The resources sounds like something I would love to check out. As like a lot of people, I see a lot of neglect and the parents don’t even notice it, and I am sure I have face the same thing when i was younger.

By: Dennis Thoennes

Dennis Thoennes — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:44:43 +0000

I appreciate that you’ve read the posting on Neglect and have provided your comments. A couple of resources come to mind. 1) Alan Schore: The Psychobiology of Affect Regulation (it’s a classic), 2) Cassidy (ed): Attachment, 3) Terry Real: I Don’t Know How To Get Through To You, 4) –& Dawson: Growing Up Again. Also, you are welcome to contact me through my website email drdt@redmondtherapy.com

By: Nadine

Nadine — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:59:59 +0000

I think we neglect children without really meaning to or realizing it. My son stays in his room all the time playing on the computer or listening to music and comes out just to see what we are doing, or to watch a movie every now and then. He is content and happy doing what he is doing, but I have realized that both my husband and I need to get our son out of the house more often or just spend more quality time together whether playing games or something else.

By: Casey

Casey — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:42:15 +0000

I think my spouse is the strong silent type, never cries, and he thinks he is always right. He is very good to me, and would do anything for me,but sometimes I feel as if I am the child. He is 6 years older than me. I think he had a good childhood life as well. Me, I can barely remember mine. I do know that my younger sister got all the attention from friends and people at school and I felt like the ugly duckling, even tho now, I know I wasn’t. Back then, teenagers had their own ideas who was the pretties or whatever. This does take a toll on a child when you get older.

By: Ron

Ron — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 09:19:54 +0000

I dont know if some people just like to stay private in order not to visit that dreadful past that they were well acquainted with.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 12:35:53 +0000

Why is it that people like this cant understand pure love? I am in a stable relationship but I always have this question about how deep my spouse’s love is? It is sad to break everything down practically. Sometimes it’s nice just to know how much the care quotient is.

By: Emma

Emma — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 11:14:10 +0000

Oh I am married to a “strong silent type” too. It’s funny how we cant stand what we were attracted to the most after we tie the knot. My husband is stubborn too and sometimes he can cut like a knife in an argument. I think every married couple disagrees but to be bitter and brutal in verbal conflict almost as if the partner is an enemy is something noone deserves. I found my son has started copying our yelling patterns when he is angry. Even the same words. I feel like I am stone walling and that makes me want to state my point a little more.

By: Joanna

Joanna — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:36:21 +0000

I am married to the “strong silent type” and I can’t tell you how crazy this makes me sometimes! He was not neglected as a child but I swear there are times when it feels like due to this personality characteristic of his that he is neglecting me and the kids. I do not want my own children to grow up with these issues, and since they are boys I do not want them thinking that this is the approach that they need to take with their own families one day. How do I break that cycle and turn it into something positive? Believe me the silent brooding probably did a lot to attract me to my husband in the beginning but now it really repels me.

By: Gloria

Gloria — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 09:07:41 +0000

I think we take ourselves too seriously in adulthood and that mars our perception of the child’s feelings at that point. We get callous with our words, feelings and actions as we age. We get more self-centered and that is probably why we dont put a check on ourselves before we react. Neglecting a child is the cruelest thing anyone can do.

By: John

John — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 22:02:12 +0000

Too many times I think that people dismiss just how much of an impact the way that you raise a child can impact their later years. This type of research shows once again how important those formative years are.

By: Alicia

Alicia — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 12:46:08 +0000

It’s nice to think that a client contributes to the therapist’s self discovery too. I have a distinct memory of being neglected. In all my childhood memories of family get togethers I used to be the only lonely one in a crowd and noone seemed to notice that I was always left out. After a while I thought that’s how it normally is.