Comments on: All That Mattered Was Money! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/ Exploring Healthy Psychotherapy Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:06:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: nelly http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-19394 nelly Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:12:04 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-19394 The economy needs to change period. many people don't get that increase in pay due to inflation and that is crappy. How do they expect families to live, stay together and be happy if the economy is in need of a great fix. The economy needs to change period. many people don’t get that increase in pay due to inflation and that is crappy. How do they expect families to live, stay together and be happy if the economy is in need of a great fix.

]]> By: Breanna http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16732 Breanna Fri, 03 Apr 2009 10:47:58 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16732 I kinda agree with Shannon, whether it be money or something else, if a relationship is going bad, every and any little thing will add fire to that conflict. The economy and money matters doesn't make it easier when it comes to relationships starting to go or already has gone bad. I kinda agree with Shannon, whether it be money or something else, if a relationship is going bad, every and any little thing will add fire to that conflict. The economy and money matters doesn’t make it easier when it comes to relationships starting to go or already has gone bad.

]]> By: Shannon http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16710 Shannon Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:34:54 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16710 Communicating does seem to fall to the wayside when everything is good on the surface. But when things begin to really fall apart all of the ugly underside of relationships are exposed and sometimes there is nothing left of the foundation to save them because for too long they have been resting on the wrong things. No matter whether the wrong things were money, sex, or even just convenience, there are numerous factors which can work together to doom a relationship. In this case and many more like them we are seieng just how easy it is to get trapped and lured by the love of money and how wrong it is to allow this to become the main focus in a couples life. Communicating does seem to fall to the wayside when everything is good on the surface. But when things begin to really fall apart all of the ugly underside of relationships are exposed and sometimes there is nothing left of the foundation to save them because for too long they have been resting on the wrong things. No matter whether the wrong things were money, sex, or even just convenience, there are numerous factors which can work together to doom a relationship. In this case and many more like them we are seieng just how easy it is to get trapped and lured by the love of money and how wrong it is to allow this to become the main focus in a couples life.

]]> By: Jeni http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16678 Jeni Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:38:49 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16678 I agree with Kyle... it's the economy that is making it hard on all of us... but I am sure there are other problems that don't have anything to do with the economy. If we can just remember how it was in the beginning and try to communicate with one another... maybe that would be a start. I agree with Kyle… it’s the economy that is making it hard on all of us… but I am sure there are other problems that don’t have anything to do with the economy. If we can just remember how it was in the beginning and try to communicate with one another… maybe that would be a start.

]]> By: Kyle http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16652 Kyle Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:11:12 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16652 We are all learning a very hard lesson in this time of economic crunch and seeing just which relationships have staying power and the ones that have been built on sand. We are all learning a very hard lesson in this time of economic crunch and seeing just which relationships have staying power and the ones that have been built on sand.

]]> By: Geena http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16608 Geena Tue, 31 Mar 2009 09:10:41 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16608 I dont know whether we do the things we do because we have no mercy or because we have to. I have had to sign the last pay cheques of some genuinely good people and let them go because we are not in a financial position to retain them. It is crumbling when we dont have a choice and we have to play the bad guy. It is scarier to think it is only a matter of time before we could bite the dust. For now, we live in glass houses and throw stones. I dont think our lot sleep well. I dont know whether we do the things we do because we have no mercy or because we have to. I have had to sign the last pay cheques of some genuinely good people and let them go because we are not in a financial position to retain them. It is crumbling when we dont have a choice and we have to play the bad guy. It is scarier to think it is only a matter of time before we could bite the dust. For now, we live in glass houses and throw stones. I dont think our lot sleep well.

]]> By: Doug http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16590 Doug Mon, 30 Mar 2009 19:29:22 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16590 Thanks Judith. We are trying. We are making those first tentative steps toward couples counseling, with both of us very willing to explore a whole new aspect to our relationship together. The frustrating thing is that even though I know we did not get to this point overnight of course we want the repair work to be done quickly and that is just not how it goes. But we are giving it the old college try and hopefully we will make some real progress soon. Thanks Judith. We are trying. We are making those first tentative steps toward couples counseling, with both of us very willing to explore a whole new aspect to our relationship together. The frustrating thing is that even though I know we did not get to this point overnight of course we want the repair work to be done quickly and that is just not how it goes. But we are giving it the old college try and hopefully we will make some real progress soon.

]]> By: Nigel http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16562 Nigel Mon, 30 Mar 2009 11:01:47 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16562 I dont want to commit to my girlfriend bcos I know that money makes most marriages. 2 of my best friends are facing divorce because their families are not able to cope under financial stress. I dont believe in a prenuptial agreement as a commitment for life cant be based on something like that. I dont know if any of us can live in an idealistic world. End of the day its all about the money, honey!! I dont want to commit to my girlfriend bcos I know that money makes most marriages. 2 of my best friends are facing divorce because their families are not able to cope under financial stress. I dont believe in a prenuptial agreement as a commitment for life cant be based on something like that. I dont know if any of us can live in an idealistic world. End of the day its all about the money, honey!!

]]> By: Judith Barr http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16550 Judith Barr Sun, 29 Mar 2009 16:38:12 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16550 Dear Doug, I honor your exquisite honesty, including your feelings about your honesty. That is a wonderful place from which to begin again. You are correct, Doug, that many couples are finding themselves in the same position as you and your wife. Many couples could be saying the same thing you said: "Now I do not even know how to build something with her that is not based on money and the things that money can buy." The essence is this, Doug: Meet yourselves and each other all over again, without the layer of money hiding who you really are, without the layer of money altering how you really connect. Discover who you really are, who she really is, "who" your relationship really is. If you need the help of a therapist, don't hesitate! And find a really good therapist who is committed to helping you heal and discover to the root -- not just in the here and now. That would include helping you become aware of the early wounds that unconsciously caused you to have money become so central in your marriage. Also, find a therapist who does his/her own work to the root. Blessings to you and your wife in your journey, Doug. Judith Dear Doug,

I honor your exquisite honesty, including your feelings about your honesty. That is a wonderful place from which to begin again.

You are correct, Doug, that many couples are finding themselves in the same position as you and your wife. Many couples could be saying the same thing you said: “Now I do not even know how to build something with her that is not based on money and the things that money can buy.”

The essence is this, Doug: Meet yourselves and each other all over again, without the layer of money hiding who you really are, without the layer of money altering how you really connect. Discover who you really are, who she really is, “who” your relationship really is.

If you need the help of a therapist, don’t hesitate! And find a really good therapist who is committed to helping you heal and discover to the root — not just in the here and now. That would include helping you become aware of the early wounds that unconsciously caused you to have money become so central in your marriage. Also, find a therapist who does his/her own work to the root.

Blessings to you and your wife in your journey, Doug.
Judith

]]> By: Doug http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/money-matters/#comment-16532 Doug Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:30:12 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=1866#comment-16532 My marriage is currently crumbling and I can honestly say that in large part it is because a big part of our relationship has always been about money. When financial things were great so was the marriage. But now that things in my business are slow that is not so much the case. I am sad to say that this is what my wife and I have been focused on for so long but it is true. Now I do not even know how to build something with her that is not based on money and the things that money can buy. I know that we are probably representative of many other couples right now but it is still an embarassment to have to admit that. My marriage is currently crumbling and I can honestly say that in large part it is because a big part of our relationship has always been about money. When financial things were great so was the marriage. But now that things in my business are slow that is not so much the case. I am sad to say that this is what my wife and I have been focused on for so long but it is true. Now I do not even know how to build something with her that is not based on money and the things that money can buy. I know that we are probably representative of many other couples right now but it is still an embarassment to have to admit that.

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