My Approach to Helping
My personal philosophy is that we all want the same thing, to be loved, accepted and valued for who we are by important others in our life. Relationships are the hardest thing we ever do. We often act and communicate out of fear that we won't be loved, accepted or valued. My approach is to get couples to learn to identify and communicate deeper emotions rather than attacking or shutting down from each other. I help couples learn to empathize with each other and hear each other rather than "right fight". I help couples come to a place where they can feel safe in the relationship in order to foster a deep connection with one another.
More Info About My Practice
I offer daytime and evening sessions by appointment only. I charge $125 per session and accept credit/debit card (MC, Visa, Discover), cash or check. Free phone consultation prior to first appointment.
My Therapy Focus
Helping couples regardless of what stage of the relationship they are in. I use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to help couples identify the negative patterns that have them stuck. I help couples establish a sense of safety in the relationship so they can turn toward one another and express feelings of fear or pain, needs and longings in a way that draws their partner closer for comfort and support rather than pushing or turning away.
Important Factors for Choosing a Therapist
If you are seeking couples counseling, it is important to make sure that the therapist you choose specializes in and has a good amount of experience and education in couples therapy. A good question to ask is what percentage of clients seen is couples. If it is less than 50%, choose another therapist. Also, a good couples counselor should not take sides, he/she should be able to build a good alliance and relationship with both of you, where you both feel heard, understood and empathized with. A good couples therapist is also not a passive listener but rather someone who is guiding you both toward your goals. And a good therapist should understand the goals you have and not impose their own beliefs or agenda upon you.
What I Say to People Concerned about the Therapy Process
A concern many people have when coming to couples therapy is that the therapist will take sides. This should never be the case. A good couples therapist holds space for both people to explore their inner exepriences to be understood and heard by their partner. The side I take is of your relationship. The goal of therapy is not for one of you to win but for your relationship to win. The goal is to create a space where you both feel safe and understood so that you may draw closer to one another. You should never feel judged or attacked by your therapist.
Why Going to Therapy Does Not Mean You are Weak or Flawed
When our body doesn't feel well we go to the doctor, when we want to get in shape we go to a personal trainer, when we have a tooth ache we see the dentist. A therapist is just another professional to help you when your emotional life needs attention. It takes courage to seek help, so therefore it is a strength, not a weakness.