My Approach to Helping
I see couples in therapy who tell me they are quarrelling too much or who have drifted apart and feel like they are living in a ‘roommate’ type of relationship. Often, they need help with communication of their feelings and needs. Many have difficulty respectfully resolving conflict, feeling more like adversaries rather than cooperating with each other. Some have physical and sexual intimacy concerns.
I also see couples who feel that their lives have been turned upside down by an extra-marital affair and worry that there will never be trust again. They meet with me to stabilize their relationship, address the trauma of the hurt partner, and engage in healing, repair, and creation of a better relationship. An affair doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship. I have helped hundreds of couples in similar situations as yours to get back the love that seemed lost.
Issues that bring couples to me include disagreements about parenting, money, job loss, career change or major life changes like relocation, becoming empty nesters, loss of a parent, or retirement.
I also see individuals who want me to help them deal with relationship issues, their moods, or the impact of childhood trauma on their lives.
Young adults and their parents see me for family therapy to improve their relationship due to recent or historic unresolved feelings, events and issues.
As a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT), my approach to couple and family relationships, and individuals is to first learn about problems that you can't seem to resolve yourselves from an emotional attachment perspective. Couples Therapy helps you learn how to stop the negative, reactive, repetitive patterns of pointless arguing or to avoid conflict. By understanding what is beneath the frustrations of each, we discover together the underlying softer feelings like hurt, fear or sadness. Then we replace the reactive pattern with a softer, emotionally open, responsive, and engaged positive experience. This stability means it is possible to express your deeper feelings and be heard and understood, which will rebuild your relationship and create a more secure and happier one.
Individual Therapy examines how your present relationship with others and yourself, can be improved by developing greater awareness of your past negative experiences and how they may be interfering with your current relationship and life happiness. Then together with your new awareness, we create experiences that help keep the past from interfering with your present life.
In family therapy, the goal is to improve relationships strained by conflict, misunderstandings, or loss. As a parent, you learn about how your reactivity may interfere with your connection to your adult child. Adult children learn to ask for what they need.
I am a certified EFT couple, family, and individual therapist, with over 40 years of experience helping thousands of people and relationships. I can help you, too. I am able to help you recover from an affair, rekindle the love you once had in your relationship, put your past where it belongs and improve family relationships.
I am proud to say that many of my referrals come from either friends or family members of former clients who were pleased with the experience and outcome of their therapy with me. I also receive a lot of referrals from other therapists who have confidence that I can help their clients. People who I’ve seen tell me they are pleased that the therapy has structure and focus, that I know what I am doing, have a high record of success and that I have a calming voice and demeanour.
While most of my time is providing therapy, I am also a Supervisor of other therapists who seek my guidance in their professional therapy work. I have always believed that I can learn more deeply about what I know, by offering direction and support to others. People are pleased that my therapy has structure and focus, that I know what I am doing, have a high record of success and have calm voice