Mary DuParri, Psychotherapist in Chesterfield, 63017

Mary DuParri, MA

Profession(s):
Psychotherapy, Counseling Psychology, Counseling
License Status:
I'm a licensed professional.
Primary License:
LPC

My Approach to Helping

I use a deep, insight-oriented model of therapy called Internal Family Systems. In this model we recognize that all people have a core or authentic Self that carries their finest qualities. We also have parts of self that help us function in life and keep us safe. A high-achiever part may help us succeed. A caretaker part may have us enter into service to others. An angry part wants to keep us from being a doormat and an alcoholic part tries to numb out pain. When we have been hurt, afraid or misunderstood some of our feelings can become overwhelming and therefore some of our protective parts can become quite extreme. For example, to keep us disconnected from our fears, a success-oriented part can turn us into a workaholic who neglects self and family. It is usually when extreme parts (or unwanted feelings or behaviors) get to be too strong that we come to therapy. In our work together we begin to get to know our parts. We learn how they help, how they are trying to protect and we reconnect them with that wonderful, core Self so they do not have to work so hard or hijack us into extreme feelings or behaviors. The simplest way to describe this work is that we talk to our parts of self. If that sounds a little odd, notice how you listen to inner messages all the time; or how you talk back to parts of yourself you do not like. This simple dialogue of connection creates powerful changes within us.

My Role as a Therapist

My work is to be your guide to help you reconnect with your authentic Self. We all have inner protective parts that can at times get extreme or take over causing us to feel bad or to operate with behaviors we do not like. We all have parts that keep us in inner conflict with ourselves: "Part of me wants to be more mindful and spiritual and part of me keeps me watching mindless TV." My role is to help you enter into relationship and dialogue with those parts so they can be understood and healed and so you can function from your best Self. At all times you are the expert on your own feelings and inner world. I am the guide who helps you ask the right inner questions so you can get the wise inner answers that you have been seeking.

What I Say to People Concerned about the Therapy Process

One of the things I love about the Internal Family Systems therapy that I do is that it is so respectful of all of our inner feelings and fears. This is not a boot camp or tough-love kind of therapy because in it we never push past any parts that are beginning to get upset or overwhelmed. We stop and check in with the concerns or feelings that are arising and do not proceed until we have the permission of the worried or upset part. That is not to say that there will not be strong feelings coming up in this work. There will be. This way of working has us turn toward the strong feelings with compassion and understanding. And, just as it happens person to person in life when someone turns to us with compassion and understanding, the upset or scared parts begin to relax and feel held and safe. From that place of safety we move closer and closer to the core issues that have been keeping us stuck for years.