Category: Sexuality / Sex Therapy
The Good Therapy Blog
September 3rd, 2010 |
Slow down and listen.
When we communicate, sometimes we ignore what our partner is saying. Instead of focusing on our partner, our thoughts are consumed with what we plan to say next. If you pay attention to your partner's words, and then you reflect back what you hear them say or feel, then they will feel heard. As a result, you will be on the road to a resolution of the issue. Does someone in your life, maybe yourself, constantly repeat a message over and over? It is probably because said person does not feel heard.
Try reflective listening and see if you can stop that person from repeating.... Read More
August 12th, 2010 |
As noted last month, cancer treatments can have a significant effect on a person’s sexuality and desire to be intimate. Common side effects of chemotherapy include nausea, which may be worsened by sexual activity, and fatigue, which may persist for months after treatment is finished. Hair loss is another common side effect of chemotherapy, and it can be particularly distressing to women. One woman described feeling like “an old man” because of her mastectomy and baldness.
Chemotherapy also has some gender specific side effects. Depending on a woman’s age, it may cause a profound... Read More
August 9th, 2010 |
Do you want more sex more often than your partner? Or does s/he complain because you want less? In my practice as a sex and marriage therapist, I find that men are often have hyper-active desire, wanting more, while women’s interest in sex is hypo-active, wanting less. If you’re female, there is a quick and kinda cool quiz that you can take right now. Ready?
• In the past, was your level of sexual desire/interest good and satisfying to you?
• Has there been a decrease in your level of sexual desire/interest?
• Are you bothered by your decreased level of sexual desire/interest?
•... Read More
July 13th, 2010 |
“Alice” is a long-term cancer survivor. She has beaten the odds of dying from stage four breast cancer many times over the years. She came into therapy because she was feeling “stuck,” and was wondering if she might be depressed.
Several visits into our work together, after exploring how things were going in different areas of her life, she said she wanted to talk about something that was difficult to discuss: her sex life with her husband. “Sex” is one of the most emotionally charged words in the English language. Our personal histories, family values and attitudes play a role... Read More
July 6th, 2010 |
Most of the couples who walk into my office are monogamous, or at least aspire to have a one-on-one relationship. But some people believe that wedding vows or other exclusive agreements heap a host of unrealistic expectations on marriage. “Open marriage” has become a term of the past - now such people usually refer to their preference for “polyamory,” meaning “many loves.” Coined in the early 1990’s, “polyamory”, or “poly” for short, provides a way for those who choose to have more than one lover to identify their life-style. This may seem a long way from most people’s lives,... Read More
June 14th, 2010 |
Teens are having sex. I do not know the percentage of teens having sex but they are. Teens are having sex for many reasons: need to be loved, everyone else is doing it, why wait, adults have sex, and boyfriend/girlfriend loves them. Does sex really help a teen to feel loved? After sex, does the relationship get stronger or fall apart? Is sex more of a quest? These are some questions that I have. I don’t have statistics and this is not for statistics, just conversation about teens and sex.
You don’t need to leave a comment, but after sex, are you truly happy? Do you think that you took a... Read More
May 25th, 2010 |
For those of you in relationship, think back to the time when you first met your partner. You see him/her across the room, and something inside you says, she/he is the one. There is a sense of excitement and passion in you. You eventually meet and start dating. You just cannot get enough of this person and you find yourself thinking about him/her all the time. Eventually you start having sex and its passionate and really hot. Eventually you become a committed couple (for some couples it may even lead to engagement and marriage). Two years pass and one day you roll over, look at your partner and... Read More
May 24th, 2010 |
When most people in our culture think about pornography and who is accessing it online, their thoughts automatically go to the male population. Would it surprise you to know that women represent 30% of the internet pornography consumers (Internet Pornography Statistics, 2008; Nielsen/NetRatings, April 2005)? It is time to stop with the “old school” thinking that it is just a “man” issue and take a look at not only the increased activity with women and pornography, but also the impact that it is having on them and their lives.
Women have greater access to information, laws and resources... Read More
May 10th, 2010 |
The question often comes up among LGBT people as to whether or not they should see a gay therapist or if they would be comfortable with a gay friendly therapist. This is a personal decision that each person needs to make for themselves, but as in choosing any therapist, it is important to find a professional who has the education, the empathy, and the understanding of your individual needs.
Although there are many gay affirmative and gay friendly therapists, sometimes it is important to find a therapist who is a member of the gay community. The process of therapy is a very personal one and for... Read More
May 7th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Though it may be a difficult topic for some clients to consider and discuss, sexual well-being can play a crucial role in overall happiness and mental health, and experiencing a poor sex life or harboring negative thoughts about one's ability can be detrimental to daily mood and functioning. People who experience sexual well-being concerns are typically counseled to talk with a physician about any physical issues, but a study recently carried out at Oregon State University has found that the... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Nashville Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
May 5th, 2010 |
When is not enough sex too little by far?
When we talk about sex addiction, most of us think of someone who is unable to stop being sexual. And most of us can understand that too much sex can be dangerous, whether it’s because of STDs, loss of a marital relationship, or loss of health. But no-one ever died from lack of sex, right? Surprisingly, addiction can be described as too much, or too little - excess or deprivation.
Sexual deprivation, or anorexia, has severe physical and psychological consequences, and many people come to me looking for help in tackling and unraveling this serious... Read More
May 5th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Though parents may often be interested in counseling their children about various ideas and behaviors, they may not always now just what to say –or how they feel about the issue, themselves. Sex is typically a difficult subject to broach between parents and teenagers, and some family relationships may suffer as a result. Focusing on concerns over sexual activity in teens and subsequent reactions and ideas in parents, a researcher at North Carolina State University has developed work showing... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Pasadena Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
April 13th, 2010 |
Believe it or not, everyone has some secret desire, fantasy, or even fetish that brings on arousal and turns us on in the bedroom, or otherwise. For some of us, our fantasies work best when used alone. We thus prefer to use the fantasy as personal experience on our own, and don’t find the need to share it with others. Others of us strive and have a strong urge to share our fantasy or fetish, to live it out and to act it out with our partners and with others. Finally there are those of us who have trouble swallowing the content of our desires, feel confused about its meaning and are thus conflicted... Read More
April 5th, 2010 |
When I opened my psychotherapy practice in the late 1970’s I saw myself as a feminist psychotherapist, putting the majority of my focus on women. I would have been disdainful of books like David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man. Now I incorporate his often provocative approach into work that I do with straight, gay, and even lesbian couples!
The Way of the Superior Man is not just for men. It is written specifically for “people who have a more masculine sexual essence, and their lovers, who will have a more feminine sexual essence – since you always attract your sexual reciprocal.”... Read More
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