By Mou Wilson, MFT, Sexuality / Sex Therapy Topic Expert Contributor

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At the very core of our lives is sexuality. Though as a society we are not quite exactly trained to talk openly and honestly about sex, nonetheless we grow up recognizing and knowing intrinsically the need we as human beings have for sex and the roles it plays at the very core of humanity, with of course it’s one of it’s main functions being procreation. And, what is the other function of sex? Well, pleasure, of course.

If only pleasure were such an easy thing for us to comprehend. As a society not only are were discouraged from talking about the pleasure that sex brings us, we are also led to recognize the detriments of deriving too much pleasure. The very lack of our society’s ability to openly acknowledge the things, which bring us pleasure, may also in turn cause us to abuse the things that bring us pleasure. It is known as hedonistic to throw oneself into pleasure all the way, to be unable to find a happy medium, middle ground or balance, and when all the other things in life begin to become neglected: work, family, friends, finances, and so on. We have come to call this phenomenon as Addiction. And, when someone comes to the end of the rope with Addiction they often recognize that the only way to undo the damage is to go into what we call sobriety of recovery. Read the rest of this entry

By Jill Denton, LMFT, CSAT, CSE, CCS, Sexuality / Sex Therapy Topic Expert Contributor

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While Tiger Woods’ sexual experiences have been all over the news recently, the psychiatric task force charged with creating the next edition of the “bible” for counselors and psychotherapists, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is completing work on their current update (the last edition came out way back in 1994).

In a recent article for the Los Angeles Times, Dr. Allen Frances who chaired the 1994 panel laments that the DSM “goes too far in creating disorders.” He says that the panel tried hard to be conservative but “inadvertently contributed to three false ‘epidemics’ – attention deficit disorder, autism and childhood bipolar disorder.” “Clearly,” he writes, “our net was cast too wide and captured many ‘patients’ who might have been far better off never entering the mental health system.” Read the rest of this entry

By Jennifer Harned Adams, Ph.D., Fertility Issues Topic Expert Contributor

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February is commonly viewed as a month for romance, love and intimacy, but it can get into the Valentine’s Day spirit when you and your partner are working hard to get pregnant and sex has started to feel like a chore.

When couples first start trying to conceive, the idea of having sex without contraception is often liberating and exciting. Having sex with the knowledge that it might result in the creation of a much-wanted baby is exhilarating, hopeful and an act that often brings couples closer together. Unfortunately, when getting pregnant is difficult, it impacts the couple’s intimacy on many levels. Read the rest of this entry

By John Sovec, LMFT, LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) Topic Expert Contributor

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Remember back when you were in High School and the time came when your schedule would finally include that intriguing and informative health class, the one that your parents had to sign a special release waiver for you to attend? You know the one, the Sex Ed. class. This class is generally a source of mingled nervousness, embarrassment and curiosity, a combination of emotions most often expressed through much giggling, blushing and teasing.

So imagine what it might be like experiencing this class as a gay teen who may not be open or even understand about their sexuality yet. Imagine what it must be like to be confused and scared because your own natural feelings are pointing you in a direction that is different from those around you. The information provided in the vast majority of sex education lessons makes no mention of sex with someone of the same gender. Usually, the only time the subject of same-sex relations comes up is during discussions of STDs and AIDS. Read the rest of this entry

By Jill Denton, LMFT, CSAT, CSE, CCS, Sexuality / Sex Therapy Topic Expert Contributor

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Remember that feeling of lust, excitement and warm romantic love that comes at the beginning of a new relationship? It turns out that it’s vital for the long-term health of the relationship, and it may be threatened by the prescription drugs you’re taking.

That’s the conclusion of an article by Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, who has been exploring the biological basis of sex and love around the world for more than twenty years. If you take SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) anti-depressants (such as Prozac, Zoloft or Celexa) you have hopefully been warned by your doctor about libido suppressing side effects. Fisher argues that SSRI’s not only blunt sexual interest, but also the ability to love.

If she is correct, millions may be suffering from a side effect that can’t really be confirmed by research trials. Because how do you “measure” love or the ability to love, care and connect with another person – sexual or celibate? Read the rest of this entry

By Jimmy G. Owen, M.S., L.P.C., LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) Topic Expert Contributor

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Whenever I am with a group of gay men, sex invariably becomes a topic of discussion. Often it is funny, sometimes sarcastic, biting and hurtful. However it appears, our culture, on the surface, has an ease about discussing sex in a way that I don’t encounter in heterosexual environments. I wonder what it is about our culture that makes this talk so easy, so expected… so normal? As a therapist, I am curious about where it comes from and how it affects us.

Sociologically speaking, if you look at the gay community as if it were an individual, we are a relatively young “out” person. Stonewall happened in 1969, which signified the first time we had the strength and visibility to be “out” and have a voice. That “out” voice is a mere 40 years old. Read the rest of this entry

By John Sovec, LMFT, LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) Topic Expert Contributor

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As an educator and an advocate in the HIV/AIDS community I am often asked “Is AIDS still with us?” This question usually arises after the latest television story or news report about the newest treatments for HIV positive people.

According to the Center for Disease Control, the answer to that question is yes; the disease is still with us with over one million reported cases of people living with HIV in the United States alone. Worldwide the numbers become more staggering with UNAIDS estimating over 31 million people who have contracted HIV. Read the rest of this entry

By Jill Denton, LMFT, CSAT, CSE, CCS, Sexuality / Sex Therapy Topic Expert Contributor

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In my first blog-post last month I wrote about my work as a sex therapist, and how “talking about sex” can help us to heal memories and repair and strengthen relationships. Many of the responses I’ve received have been about addiction to sex (especially internet pornography) and the devastating effect it has on committed relationships, or on the ability to form intimate relationships.

Internet overuse can be compared to alcoholism, drug addiction, or compulsive gambling. Like alcoholics or those who abuse drugs, people who are addicted to the Internet use it to change their mood and feel better – a pathological attachment to a mood altering experience.

And understand that I’m not only talking about men! Facebook, chat rooms, and “sexting” are becoming rampant among many women, who report that they become anxious when going more than a few hours without checking their email. When sex and romance enter the mix, Internet abuse becomes even more deadly. Experts call online porn and chat room/Facebook romance “the crack cocaine (or lately) methamphetamine of sexual addiction,” fueled by the Three A’s – Anonymity, Affordability and Accessibility. Read the rest of this entry

A GoodTherapy.org News Headline

Among parents concerned about the behavior of their children in social situations as well as society at large, casual sex and relationships are often viewed as detrimental to mental health and well-being. Committed, more meaningful relationships, it is suggested, are far superior for promoting emotional wealth and avoiding potentially harmful mental situations. But a study performed recently at the University of Minnesota suggests that on the contrary, casual encounters pose no threat to emotional health. Surveying over a thousand young people from ages eighteen to twenty four, the study concluded that based on self reports, those whose most recent sexual encounters were casual experienced no emotional disadvantage compared to those in committed relationships.

© Copyright 2009 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Ann Arbor Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

By Jill Denton, LMFT, CSAT, CSE, CCS, Sexuality / Sex Therapy Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Jill and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Talking about sex is never easy. And helping people understand how sex therapy works is even harder! In the early 1990’s I began training with Patrick Carnes, the clinician who pioneered treatment approaches that help people suffering from sexual compulsivity. I knew from my counseling practice that people recovering from substance addiction frequently discovered that they had more pernicious underlying problems with behavioral addictions to love, sex, or romance – problems that were ruining their lives and their relationships.

But when I placed a classified ad in the counseling section of my local weekly paper (“Are you a sex addict?”) I was deluged by men demanding my measurements and other intimate details – purely non-verbal interests. Few could understand how talking about sex – particularly feelings and fantasies that they were ashamed of – could be helpful. I would try to explain talk therapy, and how it can help. One person sneered, “talk is cheap!”

Talk is not cheap, and I’d like to suggest that calling it “talk therapy” misrepresents and grossly undervalues what therapists and their clients do together. “Talk therapy” makes it sound as if words issue from our mouths and then dissipate in thin air around us. As if, as the saying goes, it’s cheap – common stuff. Not so, says the Mayo Clinic, whose research showed that heart patients receiving psychotherapy recovered faster, with lower average medical costs. Read the rest of this entry