My Approach to Helping
We help people struggling in their relationships recover, reconnect and rebuild so they can have exceptional marriages and partnerships filled with love and connection.
Couples learn to break through communication blocks, resolve resentments, and get on the same page with parenting, sex or money struggles. At the same time we will work on increasing love, intimacy, and connection for a more loving relationship. You can expect your marriage or partnership to be great! We have completed advanced courses in couples counseling to get you to a solution faster. All of our therapists use the researched based Gottman Method approach.
Life doesn't come with a manual. When you are looking for new tools and new ways to stop hurting, we would love to walk along side of you as a support and a guide. You can stop hurting and learn to make life easier. When you are aware of your thinking and have the ability to sort out what is true for you; confidence comes. When you learn to experience your emotions and express them in a way that is respectful to you and others; connection increases. When you have the power to choose your responses and behavior, there is a sense of personal power in your life. You can heal and improve your functioning to a level of true happiness and joy.
Whether you are looking for personal help for anxiety, depression, life transitions,or healing from past abuse, you will find a loving, compassionate therapist who is on your side.
We help individuals and couples develop healthy relationships with themselves and each other. We love what we do and look forward to helping you. A good fit with your therapist is the start of successful counseling. Give us a call to see if we connect.
More Info About My Practice
As a lover of personal growth and health in my relationships, I have done my own work over my adult life and have personally gained so much from therapy. I have been in the corporate world for 25 years and went back to school in 2006 to get my advanced degree. My work is rewarding and I have helped many people over the last 9 years as a practicing therapist. The life experiences I have had allow me to provide a lot of understanding, compassion, resources and tools.
Completing additional couple training with the Gottman Institute and becoming a Certified Gottman Therapist allows me to currently keep my skills at the highest level in helping people with their relationships. I also mentor all the therapists that work with me at Relationship Therapy Center and are also being trained in this evidenced based approach.
I love working with regular people with regular imperfect lives who want to get unstuck, grow and improve the quality of their lives. People who are juggling kids, careers, businesses, marriages, and all the trials and tribulations of everyday life. People who need a few more tools in their tool belt to handle life. People who have never faced the issues from the past that keep bubbling up and interfering with today, (those ones that you thought you put behind you). People, who want great relationships with their partners even when it?s messy and not easy, but know that they want more and can do better. People who want to do it differently for their kids. People like me. People like you.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
I enjoy and am skilled at working with couples. Most of the couples who come to see me are struggling feeling disconnected from each other. They have buried things that need to be said because when they bring it up they have the same argument over and over again. They are having less sex, feel like that can't communicate anymore, that they aren't on the same page, and have differing ideas of what's important. Some aren't sure of the future of their relationship, but are willing to try different things to see if they can improve. They are willing to express themselves inside the office and be coached on new ways to communicate. They are willing to let me help sort through the communication so that both partners are heard and understood. And they are willing to practice new things in between sessions. Most partners feel equally validated and supported in sessions, as the relationship goals are the guiding direction.
How Psychotherapy Can Help
Therapy helps you feel heard, understood, and supported because the relationship is different than talking to a good friend or family member. It is a unique relationship in which the focus is you, without any motives or agendas in what you decide. My goal is to help you understand the beliefs that operate unconsciously and keep you stuck in old patterns. Once you get to learn who you are, how you think, how to process emotions, improve assertiveness, resolve past hurts and traumas; you can come to a level of acceptance, resolution, and be equipped with more tools to operate balanced and centered in life. More true to who you are so that your light can shine bright for yourself and for others. Seeking therapy is courageous and I honor those who want to learn how to live life and their relationships more fully!
What I Say to People Concerned about the Therapy Process
Coming to therapy can feel scary. How am I going to share my problems and concerns with a stranger? Is she going to judge me? Does it mean I am crazy? Is it really going to help?
When you come, you will find a safe, accepting environment. I have been in therapy myself over the years and know the concern. Shouldn't I just know how to get this together? The thing is....we need each other. By processing outloud with a trained ear, asking the right questions, you will come to hear what you truly feel and believe that is sometimes not acknowledged. I am trained to recognize specific issues and know how to treat them. My style of therapy is to listen and ask questions so that we get to the root of the problem. You won't find me just saying, "uh huh" "go on." I will help you come to a solution, but will not be telling you what to do. We aren't going to be blaming your parents and staying stuck in the past. We won't do anything that feels uncomfortable to you. I will offer tools for you to learn as I believe a lot can be accomplished without it taking years! As for couples, I won't be taking sides but will call out what I see and what is happening and help you learn to see how your communication is affecting your partner. I will also model communication so that your skills can improve.
Why Going to Therapy Does Not Mean You are Weak or Flawed
Willing to admit that you need help is one of the most courageous things you can do. We learn who we are in our family. As children we usually develop beliefs about ourselves that don't serve us as we grow up. For example," I better be quiet so I don't rock the boat" or "I should always think of others before myself." If not examined as an adult, we might not live the life that we desire. Many of us do not grow up being comfortable with emotions and how to handle them. We model what we saw. As far as relationships, both partners come into the relationship having viewed relationships as they grew up and there is usually a lot of differences which makes for conflict. A good relationship with yourself and others take work and it's worth it!
Don't let all the ideas that float out there keep you from seeking help. I encourage you to be informed about what therapy really is. It does not mean that you are necessarily "mentally ill" or that you "just can't pull yourself up by our bootstraps" If something doesn't work with our car, we bring it to a mechanic, if something is wrong with our physical body, we go to a doctor. If something isn't working in your life or relationships, therapy can help.
My View on the Nature of 'Disorders'
Although I am trained in the identifying and treating mental disorders I don't worry so much about labels. I will refer out to a psychiatrist if I believe medication will help, but many issues are helped greatly with talk therapy. When I was in school and learning the DSM-V (the diagnostice book, it was hard not to see myself in many of the 'disorders." We are whole people who are doing the best we can with what we know. I do believe that we are mind, body, spirit and all of those parts interact. I will encourage all areas of wellness, but will not push my beliefs on anyone.