Lori Capri, M.S., L.P.C.

So you are finally ready to admit that there is something in your life that is causing discomfort or getting in the way of being a happy, productive, fulfilled person. But does that mean there is something wrong with you? What if other people find out that you're not perfect? Why can't you just "Snap Out of It?" If you really stop and think about it, Life is a series of ups and downs, mountains and hills to climb, celebrations, trials and tribulations, calms followed by storms followed by calm, and more celebrations. It can be difficult and painful at times, especially if we don't have all of the "tools" or positive support we need to get through the bad times. There are lots of reasons why we may not have the appropriate tools to deal with our struggles, and by coming to therapy, we can learn new tools, uncover and build on skills we already have, and get rid of some that are not helpful. Everyone can benefit by having additional support and insight. The difference is that you are willing to ask for help. That doesn't make you "flawed." That makes you someone who will do what it takes to succeed and be happy.

I have learned over many years that the specific techniques therapists or other helping professionals use are not as important as the alliance or relationship that can be developed between the client and the therapist. People seeking the assistance of a professional may have difficulty trusting others, especially new people, due to past experiences where they might have been hurt and disappointed. So how do you open up and let this new therapist get to know you and even divulge your secrets? First, you need to be comfortable with the therapist and feel that you are being listened to and respected. Then, you might choose to open up in a burst of built up emotion that just needs release. Or, it could be a gradual experience, letting the therapist see little pieces of the inner you over many sessions. You are in charge of how much you are willing to trust the therapist. Your ability to work together with the therapist, to share, to listen, to try something new, to evaluate you efforts, and to continue to participate in guiding the process, will build the alliance between you both which will help you move toward your goals.