Blogging on Good Therapy

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Click here to contact Cedar and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Following last month’s brief notes about Altruism and the Soul, this piece focuses on the development of morality and the ethical values and behaviors that accompany this developmental process. Part III will talk about the Power Paradox and its relationship to the Power Differential. The Power Differential, as mentioned in an earlier column, is the foundation for the need for ethical codes and guidelines for people in professional positions of power and authority. The Power Paradox derives from research pointing to the need for increasing sensitivity to the impacts of the Power Differential on professionals themselves.

Ethical use of power begins in empathy and altruistic pleasure. We are born with a basic moral compass, based in empathy and the natural desire to take action on behalf of others. This is most obvious in the outpouring of care for a family member or a situation in which one is directly involved. Simple moral decisions activate a straightforward brain response. The Snyders have spent a lifetime studying young children as persons. They have consistently found that children have an inborn pre-disposition for justice and caring. “Unless they have been dehumanized by adults….children reveal the capacity to be empathically attuned to each other, to co-create a ‘justice culture,’ to support fairness, safety and the restoration of relationship, and to be naturally interested in what works for the well-being of all.” This is what we would expect from our brain wiring. Of course, when this brain wiring in the frontal lobes is damaged or inoperative, people suffer from a complete lack of empathy and conscience, clinically labeled psychopathy. While not all who meet the definition of psychopath are violent, they live with a lack of the normal empathy and conscience that guides behavior. When in leadership positions, and they are there, these people are particularly difficult if not impossible to deal with.
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A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Click here to contact Cedar and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

“Altruism is a natural expression of human development and a healing force in society…Caring coupled with imagination and enterprise is the essence of creative altruism. If we ignore our capacity for compassion and care, we diminish the texture of our lives, our ability to help others heal and grow, and our collective potentials for social healing. By opening ourselves to the reality of shared being, we enhance the wonder and richness of the world and liberate the creative and constructive energies of the human heart, mind, and spirit.” —Tom Hurley

Karen Armstrong adds to her statement about the need for an ethic of compassion: “The early prophets did not preach the discipline of empathy because it sounded edifying, but because experience showed that it worked. They discovered that greed and selfishness were the cause of our personal misery. When we gave them up, we were happier. Egotism imprisoned us in an inferior version of ourselves and impeded our enlightenment.” Fascinatingly, recent neurological research by Moll and Jordan Grafman has shown that taking action in the best interests of others is coded in the brain. In a study in which they scanned the “brains of volunteers as they were asked to think about a scenario involving either donating a sum of money to charity or keeping it for themselves,” the results showed that “when the volunteers placed the interests of others before their own, the generosity activated a primitive part of the brain that usually lights up in response to food or sex. Altruism, the experiment suggested, was not a superior moral faculty that suppresses basic selfish urges, but rather was basic to the brain, hard-wired and pleasurable.” (Moll and Jordan Grafman are neuroscientists at the National Institutes of Health. Quote is from an article by Shankar Vedantam, The Washington Post, May 28, 2007.) There is an surviving and thriving impulse and advantage for those who develop and use their capacities for social intelligence. This social intelligence is accessed through the social engagement nervous system referred to on page 91 of Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics. (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Click here to contact Cedar and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

What a pleasure to go to the site here at GoodTherapy.org and find responses to the Ethics Column from Sam and Sally and Meg and Rob. I want to appreciate you for your interest in ethics and for your thoughtful and thought-generating words.

Grief and the Sensitivity Cycle

Both Meg and Rob were thinking about grief. So a bit more about that. Grief, of course, has it’s own rhythm and pace, and is a process….neither to be rushed nor clung to. I’m reminded of the Sensitivity Cycle from the Hakomi Method. The Sensitivity Cycle describes the process of becoming more and more sensitive and effective. It has four phases: clarity, effectiveness, satisfaction, and relaxation. All four phases need attention and organically move on to the next. In thinking of grief, for example, first you need to be clear about what you’re grieving, then take some kind of effective action, then find and integrate some satisfaction from the action you took, and then relax and let go—so that you will have made space for a new cycle. It is easy to get stuck at each phase and with grief it seems that the most common place to get stuck is in letting go. Getting unstuck and letting go when it is time seems to involves having a “gut” sense of the timing. It also involves trusting that letting go of the process of grieving for a person, thing, or event, doesn’t mean letting go of it all, but rather knowing that you have integrated it, or the learning from it, within you.

In responding to Sally who is looking for some more depth, I’d like to say something about two kinds of ethical decision-making edited from pages 59-61 of my book: Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics. I find that we as professionals most often think of ethical decision-making simply and solely as the second kind I describe as complex decision-making without putting conscious attention toward ordinary moment, every day kind of ethical decision-making. (more…)

The items listed below are significant red-flags and important information for anyone in therapy or considering therapy. If any of the following red-flags appear during the course of your counseling, it may be time to reevaluate your counselor or therapist. Should you recognize one of these red-flags, the first step, in most cases, is to discuss your concern with your counselor. Try talking candidly about what’s bothering you. A good therapist should be open and willing to understand your concerns. If your counselor doesn’t take your concerns seriously or is unwilling to accept feedback, then it’s probably in your best interest to consult with another therapist about it. Most therapists mean well and are willing to take accountability for their own “stuff.” So, it’s also important to give your therapist the benefit of the doubt…all people make minor mistakes. And sometimes what people think is their therapist’s issue, is actually their own. These “blind spots” can be the most difficult to see and are well worth taking about with your therapist.

It’s also important to note that the following red-flags have varying degrees of significance. Some of them are very serious violations of ethical standards, such as a therapist attempting to have a sexual relationship with a client. There is no exception to this rule and if you find yourself in such a situation you are advised to report to the state professional licensing board and consult with other professionals. However, a number of the red-flags listed below do have “exceptions to the rule” and depend partly on the context. For example, it’s generally unacceptable for therapists to have dual relationships with their clients. So if a counselor is treating the neighborhood barber for his depression, the counselor goes to a different barber to avoid confusing the “client-therapist” relationship. However, in small communities it can be impossible to avoid certain dual relationships. Ethical guidelines are flexible enough to take this, and some other exceptions, into account.

In no particular order, it is a red flag if you find that your: (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Click here to contact Cedar and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Ethics as Soul Work

I slept and dreamt that life was joy;
I awoke and saw that life was service;
I acted and behold, service was joy.
–Rabindranath Tagore

I appreciate your interest in using your personal and professional power with wisdom and compassion. I think of ethics as right use of power. In fact, right use of power and influence is the biggest container for ethics since it includes social consciousness and personal development. In this greatest context, it is about reverence for life, treating all people with respect, and acting honorably. It requires a high level of consciousness development and understanding of both harm and empowerment.

This context for ethics includes and honors the value of prescribed codes and guidelines and goes beyond into the realm of repairing harm, restoring relationships, and promoting well-being. Ethical behavior in this framework requires a high level of consciousness development and understanding of both harm and empowerment.

This is the first of a series of articles devoted to exploring issues of power in our personal and professional lives. Expect a new column every 4-6 weeks.

In working with ethical sensitivity from a soul deep point of view, I think there are a number of things that are asked of us as healers and as human beings. (more…)

Written by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Click here to contact Cedar and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

RIGHT USE OF POWER IS URGENTLY IMPORTANT.
Right use of power and influence is surely one of the most important issues facing us in our emerging globally interdependent world. Interest in right use of power takes us in the dynamic realms of roles, relationships, and trust. We engage with finding out how we impact others and then with developing the skills and compassion to be more and more effective. This is inspiring and valuable process.

UNDERSTANDING MORE THAN ONE ROLE
Some of you are clients or potential clients. Some of you are therapists or helping professionals. My intention is for this article to be of value in whatever role you are in. All of us have personal experience on both sides of relationships of trust: as clients, patients, students, children, committee members….and as therapists, social workers, parents, teachers, guides, coaches, committee heads, body workers, office managers. We have a sense for what each role feels like, but it is often hard to remember what the other role experience is. One of the hallmarks of the right use of power is to make the dynamics and expectations of each role open, clear, and understood by all. (more…)