Summer bursts of life and leisure, a great season for self-care. People often underestimate how refreshing self-care can be for the mind, body, and spirit. Self-care should be incorporated into our regular routine to ensure we don’t miss out on its many health benefits. Those practicing consistent self-care reflect it in their lives. They can appear more balanced, centered, and present.

What does it mean to practice self-care? Essentially, it is taking time out to care for our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. In our fast-paced, technological society, slowing down can be challenging. In this article I will give you seven tips for slowing down and making space for self-care.

Schedule time off

• Daily: How are you starting your day? The morning is a great time for reflection, affirmation, meditation, and prayer. Your day will no doubt be hurried—slow it down a bit and take care of yourself. Read some good material, turn off the news, and make your gratitude list.
• Weekly: I believe something spiritual exists in taking one day to rest. Rest can help restore and regenerate your mind, body, and spirit. Consider taking one day a week off, with no work and no house chores.
• Monthly: Try taking one weekend off a month. Whether you choose to do a little get-away or a staycation, one weekend off a month is a good practice for self-care.

Spend time outdoors

Summer is often a superb time to rest and get refreshment. Being outdoors in nature can be a great way to energize your soul. Try taking a hike in the hills or walking in the woods. If you live near the coast, strolling along the ocean shore or laying on the warm sand can also be great ways to relax. You can feel rejuvenated simply by sitting in a serene environment and quieting your mind and body.

Exercise daily

There are many ways to exercise during the summer, when the weather is warm and inviting. Jogging, swimming, and bicycling are all popular summer workouts. Exercising is not just for keeping off the pounds–it is also a good way to take care of your brain.

A good cardiovascular workout can improve circulation in your brain and promote balanced brain chemistry. High intensity aerobic exercise can release endorphins into your body. Endorphins in turn help release mood-boosting neurotransmitters such as dopamine.

In addition, regular exercise can help regulate the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones are the ones that directly impact the fight-or-flight response system in your brain. By keeping cortisol and adrenaline levels in check, exercise can help your stress levels stay stable.

Take time to breathe

As it turns out, breathing is not just essential for keeping you alive. If done correctly, it can actually help to lower blood pressure, pulse rate, and stress levels. I am a big proponent of taking a calming breath, also known as diaphragmatic breathing. This type of deep breathing can help:

• Release serotonin, the feel-good neurotransmitter, into the bloodstream.
• Cleanse lactic acid, which can heighten feelings of anxiety, from the blood.
• Increase alpha brain waves, giving you a sense of calm.

Sleep is essential

Knowing how much sleep your body needs and getting the required amount is key to self-care. Sleep patterns can change during the summer. Melatonin, a hormone produced by the body and released in the dark, helps us feel tired. Melatonin signals to the brain that it is time to sleep. Extended light hours during the summer means that release of melatonin is delayed, so our body doesn’t feel like sleeping until later when it is dark. Our normal sleep pattern, called the circadian rhythm, can be delayed as the day is longer during the summer months.

Think back on the last time you didn’t get enough sleep—it likely affected your entire day. A lack of sleep can impact our mental health, relationships, productivity, and overall well-being. Remember the importance of a good night’s sleep and get plenty of rest during the summer.

Take time for leisure

Taking time for something you enjoy is paramount for mental health, whether you like to read a good book, go to the movies, or get a massage. One good way to practice self-care is to get involved in a hobby such as painting or gardening. With longer days and warmer weather, summer can be an ideal time to try new leisure activities.

Eat well

Since more crops are in season during the warmer months, summer can be a convenient time to incorporate more nutritious food in your diet. What we put into our bodies directly affects our well-being. To optimize your brain health:

• Try eating more complex carbohydrates. These are found in whole grains, vegetables, beans and peas.
• Stay away from refined foods like chips, crackers, and cookies.
• Consider getting protein from organic poultry, fish, or beef, as these will not have preservatives or additives.
• Try limiting your consumption of caffeine, sugar, and alcohol when possible.

These seven tips are not an exhaustive list, but they can get you going on your way to practicing self-care. Keep in mind the best version of yourself will emerge from how well you take care of your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. If you would like personal guidance on forming a self-care plan, consider visiting a counselor for advice.

References:

1. Altman, D. (2014). The mindfulness toolbox. Eau Claire, WI: Pesi Publishing & Media.
2. Collins, R. (2016, March 29). Exercise, depression, and the brain. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/exercise#1
3. The physiology of sleep. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://sleepdisorders.sleepfoundation.org/chapter-1-normal-sleep/the-physiology-of-sleep-the-endocrine-system-sleep

There is power in a pause—a lot of power.

When asked why he played so well, piano virtuoso Artur Schnabel responded, “I handle notes no better than many others. But the pauses; that’s where the art resides.”

A pause is simple, almost invisible. What does a pause do and how can we cultivate the fine art of pauses?

Understanding the ‘Pause’

A pause is a conscious slowing down—a space-maker between stimulus and response. Pausing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us become calm. When our nervous systems are calm, we have more capacity to avoid reacting out of habit, and instead, to choose a response that is more satisfying, effective, and attuned to the situation at hand.

My first “aha” about the transformative power of pausing came when I got fed up with my list-bound behavior. I was always moving like a freight train to get through my list of self-imposed and other-imposed things to accomplish. As if by never stopping, I was going to someday get through the list and finally be able to relax. This was a fool’s errand. So, I decided to try an experiment and took 5 minutes between things on my list. I could not believe what happened in 5 minutes.

I had a chance to feel what I was drawn to do next on the list, and even better, a number of things on the list became less urgent, or I realized they were things I could easily delegate to someone else. My list grew smaller, and I grew more aligned and satisfied with my tasks.

Pausing As Self-Care

Learning to pause is also a personal gift of self-care. Pausing briefly throughout the day reduces tension. More space and less anxiety and rush make much-needed room for pleasure and wonder. We can then work harder while being happier and more relaxed.

When we are moving too fast, or when we don’t take time to pause, we can easily misuse power because our habitual reactions overtake our ability to choose a more considered response.

As I am teaching, I often invite my students to stop and take three breaths whenever we transition from one topic or process to another. The pause created by taking three breaths allows for a little clearing and a chance to make room inside for the next thing. I feel so strongly about this that I consider it unethical for people to be too busy to take three breaths.

When we are moving too fast, or when we don’t take time to pause, we can easily misuse power because our habitual reactions overtake our ability to choose a more considered response. I tend to react to an issue with an immediate idea of how to fix it. When I take three breaths before responding, I make room for a more creative and inclusive unfolding of the resolution.

Pausing in Relationships

Pausing is also a powerful relationship tool, though pausing in the context of a relationship is not as easy as it might seem. It takes a surprising amount of self-awareness: first, to be able to notice an automatic pattern you habitually use in relationships and second, to make some space before reacting and choose a different response.

I have discovered one of my own automatic patterns that shows up in my role as a therapist. A client says something, and I have an impulsive habit of immediately giving a verbal response. When I am able to pause and wait just a little bit longer than usual, there’s more room for something new or deeper to come forth from the client. For example, in the pause, the client may say, “Oh, I notice something else…”

Skillfully using relationship pauses is a good leadership skill. One of my mentors once told me it was very important not to rush in too quickly to solve a problem. “You could use up all your time going from handling one crisis to another,” he said. “Instead, make some space to empower others to put in their ideas and let a creative and collaborative resolution emerge.”

Two Ways to Use Pausing in Day-to-Day Life

Using pauses well is one of the great secrets of being power positive. Here are several specific experiments to try. For a week, do at least one of each experiment. Write down the results at the end of the day. Harvest your results.

1. Pause in your personal world: Consciously choose to make space between tasks.
2. Pause in your relationship world: Consciously choose to wait longer than usual before speaking.

It’s not always easy to slow down. If you feel too stressed or overwhelmed to find time to pause, consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you learn skills to manage stressors and cope with overwhelm.

In my work with people who are facing things like stress, anxiety, or trauma, I often talk about the importance of making time for relaxation and self-care. Relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and meditation are some of the buzzwords that encompass practices that involve slowing down the mind and body.

These practices can be extremely effective. They not only provide a sense of calm, they can also create positive effects on the nervous system. They may even lead to noted physiological improvements, such as slowed breathing and decreased heart rate and blood pressure. These techniques are some of the best ways to improve physical and mental health. Even better? They typically have no negative side effects.

I teach various forms of relaxation multiple times a week, to many of the people I work with in my office. I recently became aware of how I had personally strayed from practicing what I preached. When I was pregnant with my first child, I made a conscious effort to embrace meditation. I was fully aware that the fetus experiences everything the mom feels. I also believed that a calm mom created a healthy, calm baby. But several years (and two more babies) later, I’m finding I rarely make time to utilize the tools I so often teach to others.

The Challenges of Relaxation

While I do use various relaxation techniques at night if I’m having a hard time falling asleep or when I’m aware I feel excessively stressed, I’ve gotten away from using meditation as a regular practice. I fully admit it’s often difficult to find the time.  [fat_widget_right]

Our society and age of technology can make this even more challenging. I realized this last week as I was sitting in a doctor’s office, waiting to be called back for my appointment. I passed time aimlessly looking things up on my iPhone. I checked my text messages, then my emails. Checked my Instagram feed, then my Facebook feed. Went back to check my emails again. There was nothing new, so I checked my text messages again. I checked my Google analytics app just for the heck of it. Then I checked my email again. “Oh! Somebody on SoundCloud liked the guided meditation I uploaded.”

This made me pause. I had recorded a guided meditation for the people I worked with to use at home. I urged each of them to make mindfulness a part of their routine. “Find a few moments every day to pause and slow down your mind and body,” I had suggested. But here I was, during the one moment in my day that involved simply sitting in silence. What was I doing? Frantically going back and forth between apps in order to kill time.

I stopped and checked in with myself, mentally asking how I felt in that moment. I realized I was anxious. Not about the appointment, but anxious and annoyed that things weren’t moving fast enough. I wanted to get the appointment done and get on with my day. I wanted to tackle some of the things on my ever-growing to-do list. I couldn’t do that while waiting, but by staring at my phone I was wasting a valuable opportunity to pause and allow myself a “reset.”

I know that pausing and slowing down can help create a sense of calm. I also know that from a place of calm, I’m always better and more effective at managing stress and upcoming tasks. But I often get so swept up in the busyness of life that I forget to stop and smell the roses, so to speak.

When we don’t make a point to slow things down and make time for stillness and relaxation, the less effective we become at managing the stressors in our lives.

I wondered why it was so hard for me to just sit in silence for a few moments. Balancing family and work schedules leaves little time for sitting quietly. So why was I not embracing this rare opportunity to enjoy a period of time where I had nothing to do besides sit and wait? Why did I feel the need to keep checking my email and going back and forth between apps? I wasn’t expecting anything important. I had just gotten caught up in the fast pace of life and the pressure to constantly juggle everything on my plate. In doing so, I neglected the chance to just be still.

When our lives become so busy and chaotic, we often forget to slow down. Some people have a difficult time being alone with themselves. Either their thoughts are filled with negative, anxious, or self-deprecating self-talk they would rather avoid, or they have become so disconnected from their sense of identity that they aren’t sure how to handle idle time alone.

Neither of these are true for me. In fact, I relish time alone. Nonetheless, the more chaotic, busy, and full my life becomes, the more difficult remembering to slow down seems to be.

Making Time to Slow Down

When we don’t make a point to slow things down and make time for stillness and relaxation, the less effective we become at managing the stressors in our lives. This can sometimes pose problems. An important point I teach about relaxation techniques is how vital it is to practice these tools on a regular, ongoing basis. It’s important to make them a part of your daily routine and use them often instead of just calling on them during moments of chaos.

This is especially true when you are first learning to embrace mindfulness and meditation and incorporate them into your life. Relying on relaxation tools only during moments of stress may help you to better cope in the moment. But utilizing them on a regular basis will help you operate from a place that is more grounded and stable. This can allow you to mitigate some of the stress that might otherwise become overwhelming.

Try this simple exercise:

Get into a comfortable position and try to relax. Release as much tension from your body as possible. Take a few deep breaths in … and out. Imagine your body is like a big, stable, old oak tree. Imagine yourself being strong and steady, even amid strong winds and stormy weather. Close your eyes and visualize this as you continue to breathe in and out deeply.

Imagine roots at the base of your spine, traveling down through anything below you and deep into the earth. Visualize these roots planted firmly into the ground. Imagine that any negative emotions or stressors can travel out of you, through these roots, and back into the earth where they can be released and recycled.

After you’ve finished embracing this visualization, check in with yourself to see how you are feeling. Notice if you experience any shifts in your emotions or changes in sensations in your body. Hopefully this exercise helps you to establish a better sense of calm. If so, congratulate yourself for successfully using a mindfulness tool. Know you can use this simple meditation anywhere, at any time, in order to feel more stable and secure.

If you found the visualization difficult, keep practicing. There are books, CDs, websites, YouTube videos, and more out there to help you embrace the practice of meditation. If you find the idea of meditating uncomfortable, that’s okay. My original thoughts on meditation years ago were a bit cynical. I believed it sounded hokey, crazy, or foreign. I imagined elderly monks in faraway places sitting perfectly still, eyes closed, for hours on end, depriving themselves of the ability to scratch an itch, not even allowing themselves to eat. I thought meditation meant blanking out your brain and not allowing a single thought to pass though your mind. This, I found impossible.

I’ve since discovered meditation really just means slowing down, developing more awareness, and taking time to be more mindful and present. There are many different techniques and ways to do this. One book I like is Learn to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Self-Discovery and Fulfillment, which offers many techniques for practicing mindfulness. Find what works for you. [amazon_affiliate]

It doesn’t take hours, and it doesn’t need to be difficult. You just need to find a few short moments to regularly and consciously slow down, become more self-aware, and allow your mind to take a break from everything you are juggling. If you aren’t sure how to begin, I encourage you to reach out for help. A compassionate therapist or counselor can offer guidance and support as you explore meditation and mindfulness practices.

Reference:

Fontana, D. (1999). Learn to meditate: A practical guide to self-discovery and fulfillment. San Francisco, CA: Chronicle Books.